Last Gasp

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0:00:08 > 0:00:12This programme contains some strong language.

0:00:26 > 0:00:28Graham?

0:00:30 > 0:00:32Graham. What?

0:00:32 > 0:00:34How do you turn this on?

0:00:34 > 0:00:36It is on. How do you record?

0:00:36 > 0:00:38Press the button.

0:00:40 > 0:00:43This one? Yeah.

0:00:43 > 0:00:46Oh, why's the light on? It's in stand-by.

0:00:46 > 0:00:48Oh, right.

0:00:49 > 0:00:50Tam-Tam?

0:00:52 > 0:00:54Tam-Tam, when I say go,

0:00:54 > 0:00:58I want you to explain what day it is and who's coming. OK, love?

0:00:58 > 0:01:00Why? Well, so we have a record of it.

0:01:00 > 0:01:02You don't want to forget it, do you?

0:01:02 > 0:01:05Hang on, let me find the button again. Right.

0:01:06 > 0:01:08And...

0:01:09 > 0:01:10..go...

0:01:12 > 0:01:15Well done, Tam-Tam.

0:01:15 > 0:01:17Do you want to watch it back? No, thanks.

0:01:17 > 0:01:20All right. I'll watch it later.

0:01:29 > 0:01:31I can't bloody do it. Where's the pumper?

0:01:31 > 0:01:32What do you mean, you can't do it?

0:01:32 > 0:01:34It's these stupid long ones.

0:01:34 > 0:01:36Well, stretch it, Graham. Stretch it.

0:01:36 > 0:01:37Just get me the pumper!

0:01:37 > 0:01:40I told you to do them last night!

0:01:40 > 0:01:41DOORBELL RINGS

0:01:41 > 0:01:43He's here. Graham, oh, my God!

0:01:43 > 0:01:45All right, calm down. He's only flesh and blood.

0:01:45 > 0:01:47I know, but in our house! Graham, oh, my God.

0:01:47 > 0:01:49His turds are brown, aren't they?

0:01:49 > 0:01:51Oh, Graham. Well...

0:01:51 > 0:01:52He's here, Tammy!

0:01:52 > 0:01:54SHE LAUGHS

0:01:54 > 0:01:56Hello. Come in.

0:01:56 > 0:01:57She's just through here.

0:01:57 > 0:02:01You found us all right, then? Yeah, no problem.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03Oh, this is my wife, Jan.

0:02:03 > 0:02:04Oh!

0:02:04 > 0:02:06Hi. Frankie Parsons.

0:02:06 > 0:02:07I know!

0:02:07 > 0:02:10She's a big fan of yours. Oh, Graham!

0:02:10 > 0:02:13Lovely to meet you. You've got beautiful eyes.

0:02:13 > 0:02:14Oh!

0:02:14 > 0:02:17You know Sally from the Make A...

0:02:17 > 0:02:20Wishmaker UK. We spoke on the phone.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22Hi. Gosh, what a lovely house.

0:02:22 > 0:02:23Oh, thank you.

0:02:23 > 0:02:26So, is this Jasmine through here?

0:02:26 > 0:02:27Yes. Tamsin. Tasmin?

0:02:27 > 0:02:29Tamsin. Tamsin. Tamsin.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34Hello, Tamsin.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36Happy Birthday.

0:02:36 > 0:02:40So, you're nine today, are you?

0:02:40 > 0:02:43Oh, hang on a second. I just want to video this.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45Do you mind? No, no, not at all.

0:02:45 > 0:02:47I'd like a copy for myself, actually.

0:02:47 > 0:02:50I'm excited to meet this brave little girl who

0:02:50 > 0:02:52I've heard so much about.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55You want me to step out and come back in again?

0:02:55 > 0:02:58Oh, yes, please!

0:02:58 > 0:03:00JAN LAUGHS EXCITEDLY

0:03:01 > 0:03:03Ready? Hey...

0:03:09 > 0:03:11There's no need for you to do that.

0:03:11 > 0:03:12I'll go and get the pumper.

0:03:12 > 0:03:14It's OK. I got it.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20Too many cigarettes.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22HE PANTS

0:03:24 > 0:03:26TAMSIN: Are you OK?

0:03:32 > 0:03:35FRANKIE: Almost done. One more push.

0:03:42 > 0:03:44Oh...

0:03:44 > 0:03:47HE PANTS AND GROANS

0:03:49 > 0:03:51TAMSIN: Daddy!

0:03:53 > 0:03:55Shit, what's happened? Jan! He fell.

0:03:55 > 0:03:58What do you mean, he fell? MAN: Mr Parsons! Mr Parsons!

0:03:58 > 0:04:01Get him a drink of water or something. Jan! ..a cold compress, or...

0:04:01 > 0:04:03MAN: He's not breathing! Mr...

0:04:12 > 0:04:13Here.

0:04:15 > 0:04:16Do you take sugar, Sally?

0:04:16 > 0:04:21No. Yes, actually. Do you have sweeteners?

0:04:22 > 0:04:25In the drawer.

0:04:25 > 0:04:26Which?

0:04:26 > 0:04:29The one with the hoover bags.

0:04:31 > 0:04:33Sorry, I still don't...

0:04:33 > 0:04:34I'll get them!

0:04:37 > 0:04:39She's upset.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41She wanted him to sign her CDs.

0:04:41 > 0:04:45We have autographs on file. I can arrange to have one sent.

0:04:45 > 0:04:46Oh, thanks!

0:04:47 > 0:04:50Would be worth a few bob now, I should think.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54Mr Forboise is on his way.

0:04:54 > 0:04:56He said don't touch anything until he gets here.

0:04:56 > 0:05:00Right. Mr Forboise is Frankie's manager.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02Was Frankie's manager.

0:05:02 > 0:05:03Here.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05They're packet ones, I'm afraid.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07She nicked 'em off a train. Graham!

0:05:07 > 0:05:09Well, it hardly matters now, does it?

0:05:09 > 0:05:12We've got a world-famous dead pop star in our Tamsin's bedroom.

0:05:12 > 0:05:15No-one's going to mind about a few stolen Canderels.

0:05:15 > 0:05:17TAMSIN SNIFFS

0:05:17 > 0:05:19Oh, Tamsin...

0:05:19 > 0:05:20Love!

0:05:25 > 0:05:27Are you sure we shouldn't call 999?

0:05:27 > 0:05:29Mr Forboise said to wait,

0:05:29 > 0:05:32said this place would be crawling with pigs if we do that.

0:05:32 > 0:05:33You mean police.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35No, I'm talking about press, aren't I?

0:05:35 > 0:05:39If they find out Mr Parsons died in that way,

0:05:39 > 0:05:40they'll be like vultures.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42Must be awful doing that job.

0:05:42 > 0:05:45You know, you're either a pig or a vulture, aren't you?

0:05:45 > 0:05:49You're never a horse or a creature with dignity.

0:05:49 > 0:05:51Horrible.

0:05:51 > 0:05:54I suppose they'll all want to get the first picture.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56Look what they did to Diana.

0:05:56 > 0:05:57And Kate.

0:05:57 > 0:05:59Yes. Her boobs are out there now.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01She can't take 'em back.

0:06:01 > 0:06:06We've got to protect Frankie's legacy. Absolutely.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09You all right there, Tam-Tam?

0:06:09 > 0:06:11Do you want me to take that off you, love?

0:06:31 > 0:06:33Can I take the balloon please, Miss?

0:06:33 > 0:06:35Oh, let her keep it. The balloon?

0:06:35 > 0:06:37What do you want it for?

0:06:37 > 0:06:39Well...

0:06:39 > 0:06:41I believe that you are in infringement of

0:06:41 > 0:06:45Mr Parson's intellectual property rights. What?

0:06:45 > 0:06:46It's a comfort to her.

0:06:46 > 0:06:48It's only a balloon, for goodness' sake.

0:06:48 > 0:06:51One that contains Mr Parsons' breath -

0:06:51 > 0:06:53his actual dying breath.

0:06:54 > 0:06:56Oh, good Lord. Oh, that's made me go all funny.

0:06:56 > 0:06:58Oh, just give it to him, Tamsin.

0:06:58 > 0:07:00There you go.

0:07:00 > 0:07:03Careful! All right. It's fine.

0:07:03 > 0:07:05Tie a knot in it.

0:07:05 > 0:07:07BALLOON SPLUTTERS

0:07:07 > 0:07:08Whoa, whoa, whoa!

0:07:08 > 0:07:11I just can't do the... Use two fingers.

0:07:11 > 0:07:15I can't do it, can I? No.

0:07:15 > 0:07:16Let me do it.

0:07:20 > 0:07:21Just be careful, all right?

0:07:23 > 0:07:25Got it?

0:07:29 > 0:07:32If you'd only used the pumper, none of this would have happened.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34Jan! Please!

0:07:44 > 0:07:45There. Thank you.

0:07:45 > 0:07:47Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

0:07:47 > 0:07:49Let's just take a breath, shall we?

0:07:49 > 0:07:53Jan, go and get Tamsin's laptop from her room, please.

0:07:53 > 0:07:54But Frankie's in there.

0:07:54 > 0:07:57Just get it, please.

0:07:59 > 0:08:01I need to find out what we're dealing with here.

0:08:03 > 0:08:05PHONE RINGS

0:08:08 > 0:08:10My boss. Should I answer it?

0:08:10 > 0:08:11No. Yeah.

0:08:12 > 0:08:14Hi, Nigel.

0:08:14 > 0:08:18Oh, gosh, yes. Oh, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot.

0:08:18 > 0:08:20I've got a little boy with cerebral palsy

0:08:20 > 0:08:24who wants to play chess with Noel Edmonds.

0:08:24 > 0:08:28Nigel, could you get Sandy to cover for me at all?

0:08:28 > 0:08:31I'm just dealing with a situation here.

0:08:31 > 0:08:33No, no, no.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36It's all going well. You don't have to come.

0:08:36 > 0:08:37It's just...

0:08:37 > 0:08:40Mr Parsons wants to stay and...

0:08:42 > 0:08:43..suck off...

0:08:43 > 0:08:45HE MOUTHS

0:08:45 > 0:08:49..sing off with Tamsin on the karaoke, yes.

0:08:49 > 0:08:51Oh, they're having a ball.

0:08:51 > 0:08:53They're doing La Bamba as I speak.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56SHE MOUTHS

0:08:58 > 0:09:01# La, la, la, la bamba

0:09:01 > 0:09:03# La, la, la, tum-ba,

0:09:03 > 0:09:05# La, ba, uh, uh # La, la, la, la... #

0:09:05 > 0:09:07She's a lucky girl, isn't she?

0:09:07 > 0:09:10# La, la, la, la, la bamba... #

0:09:10 > 0:09:11What is going on?

0:09:11 > 0:09:15Frankie's lying dead next door and you're singing Billy Joel!

0:09:15 > 0:09:17Billy Joel? That wasn't Billy Joel!

0:09:17 > 0:09:18Who's Billy Joel?

0:09:18 > 0:09:21Are you serious?! Who's Billy Joel? I've heard it all now.

0:09:21 > 0:09:25Well, whoever it is, I don't think it's appropriate.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29Disaster averted. We don't really want

0:09:29 > 0:09:30anybody else coming round, do we?

0:09:30 > 0:09:32Not until Mr Forboise gets here.

0:09:32 > 0:09:35I'm going to give this to you as a neutral, OK?

0:09:35 > 0:09:40Yes, fine. Let me just take my ring off.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42It's a bit spiky.

0:09:42 > 0:09:43There.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46That's better, isn't it?

0:09:47 > 0:09:48Is this some sort of party game?

0:09:48 > 0:09:51Whoa, whoa, whoa. Step away from the balloon, miss, all right?

0:09:51 > 0:09:54What's going on? Miss, I need you to step away.

0:09:54 > 0:09:55Oh, you've all lost your heads.

0:09:55 > 0:09:57All right, here we go. Look at this.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00Justin Bieber's fringe - $40,000.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03Gosh. Elvis Presley's hair - 120,000.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06Michael Jackson's glove - 400,000.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08What's this got to do with anything?

0:10:08 > 0:10:10Jan, we've got a balloon here

0:10:10 > 0:10:12containing Frankie Parson's final breath,

0:10:12 > 0:10:16his actual dying breath captured and preserved for eternity.

0:10:16 > 0:10:18We've even got the video to prove it!

0:10:19 > 0:10:21That's sick.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23The world's sick, Jan.

0:10:23 > 0:10:26Someone paid five and a half grand for Scarlett Johansson's used tissue!

0:10:26 > 0:10:30It's like Billy said - we didn't start the fire.

0:10:30 > 0:10:33You're going to sell Frankie's last breath?

0:10:33 > 0:10:35Well, we don't know what it's worth, do we?

0:10:35 > 0:10:37Could be 50 quid or 50,000.

0:10:37 > 0:10:40Or more. At Wishmaker UK we get to see the value people attach

0:10:40 > 0:10:44to celebrities and it's quite staggering, I tell you.

0:10:44 > 0:10:48Something like this could make a lot of children's wishes come true.

0:10:48 > 0:10:51Yeah, but this is Tamsin's wish,

0:10:51 > 0:10:53isn't it, Tam-Tam?

0:10:56 > 0:10:59That wish belongs to us.

0:11:20 > 0:11:22What about Bermuda Love Triangle?

0:11:22 > 0:11:23It's a bit...

0:11:25 > 0:11:29..rocky, given the circumstances.

0:11:29 > 0:11:33Yeah, suppose we want something more sombre, don't we?

0:11:33 > 0:11:35But not maudlin. He was never maudlin.

0:11:36 > 0:11:39How about Feel You Up, Feel You Down?

0:11:39 > 0:11:42Was that the one where he tried to rap? Yeah.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44I don't like it, Sally. He uses language.

0:11:44 > 0:11:46Oh, yes. Shit, I'd forgotten, sorry.

0:11:46 > 0:11:48Oh... Sorry.

0:11:49 > 0:11:53Frankie was best when he was just...classic.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56Do you know what I mean? Mmm.

0:11:56 > 0:11:58Timeless.

0:11:58 > 0:12:02My favourite was One Day In Your Life.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04Oh, yes.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06That's the one. One Day In Your Life.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09Were you actually a fan of his before you started to work for him?

0:12:09 > 0:12:13No. I prefer hip hop, gangsta rap, that sort of thing.

0:12:13 > 0:12:15Oh.

0:12:15 > 0:12:17I once met Jazzy Jay in a lift.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20Right.

0:12:22 > 0:12:25GENTLE VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYS

0:12:33 > 0:12:38# One day in your life

0:12:38 > 0:12:43# You'll remember a place

0:12:43 > 0:12:48# Someone touching your face

0:12:49 > 0:12:51# You'll come back

0:12:51 > 0:12:57# And you'll look around you

0:12:57 > 0:13:00# One day in your life

0:13:00 > 0:13:02# You'll remember... #

0:13:02 > 0:13:03MUSIC STOPS

0:13:03 > 0:13:05GRAHAM: I've got some numbers for you.

0:13:05 > 0:13:07I spoke to a man at Christie's and got a ballpark

0:13:07 > 0:13:10figure for the last breaths of Nelson Mandela and Robbie Williams.

0:13:10 > 0:13:12I figured that Frankie was somewhere in between.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14These are hypothetical last breaths.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16Yeah, yeah, hypothetical ones, obviously.

0:13:16 > 0:13:19Ah, do you need a wee-wee, Tam-Tam? Go with her, Jan.

0:13:19 > 0:13:21I don't need a wee.

0:13:21 > 0:13:22Come on, sweetheart.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24Your dad wants to talk some business.

0:13:24 > 0:13:28So I said, "Imagine you're at Nelson Mandela's deathbed

0:13:28 > 0:13:29"with a jam jar."

0:13:29 > 0:13:31A jam jar?

0:13:31 > 0:13:33Yeah, well, I was improvising, wasn't I?

0:13:36 > 0:13:40Well, that's one birthday we won't forget in a hurry, isn't it?

0:13:40 > 0:13:43How many birthdays do I have left?

0:13:43 > 0:13:44We don't know, darling.

0:13:44 > 0:13:46Lots and lots, we hope.

0:13:48 > 0:13:50I liked Frankie. He was nice.

0:13:52 > 0:13:55Frankie J Parsons at our house.

0:13:55 > 0:13:58That was going to be my moment.

0:13:58 > 0:13:59Now it's gone.

0:14:02 > 0:14:03SALLY LAUGHS

0:14:03 > 0:14:04Is it my fault?

0:14:04 > 0:14:07Darling, no, why would it be your fault?

0:14:07 > 0:14:09I wanted him to blow up the balloon.

0:14:09 > 0:14:12Well, you weren't to know.

0:14:12 > 0:14:13Will his soul go to heaven?

0:14:15 > 0:14:16Yes.

0:14:18 > 0:14:21Yes, it will.

0:14:25 > 0:14:28So, how are we going to do this?

0:14:28 > 0:14:32Well, as a neutral, I'd say the only fair way is equal shares.

0:14:32 > 0:14:33Yeah, absolutely.

0:14:33 > 0:14:35Third for you, third for me, third for the family.

0:14:35 > 0:14:36That sounds about right.

0:14:36 > 0:14:39Hang on a minute, what do you mean "a third for the family"?

0:14:39 > 0:14:42That's a lot of money. Yeah, but there's three of us.

0:14:42 > 0:14:44So what are you saying?

0:14:44 > 0:14:47Well, you should split it in fifths. Me, Jan, Tamsin, you and Sally.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50A fifth. I worked for him all those years on shitty wages

0:14:50 > 0:14:51and all I get is a fifth?

0:14:51 > 0:14:53But that's equal shares, isn't it? It's five people.

0:14:53 > 0:14:56How about we compromise and say quarters?

0:14:56 > 0:14:57Quarters?

0:14:57 > 0:15:00Yeah. 25% each. So who loses out?

0:15:00 > 0:15:02Nobody. You and your wife get half,

0:15:02 > 0:15:04and we split the other half between us.

0:15:04 > 0:15:05Yeah, and what about Tamsin?

0:15:05 > 0:15:07She's underage. So? She's just a kid.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09She shouldn't get that much money. She's earned it.

0:15:09 > 0:15:13What, by making him blow into a balloon and giving him an aneurysm?

0:15:13 > 0:15:15Mr Vickers, with respect,

0:15:15 > 0:15:18if we give Tamsin an equal fifth, well,

0:15:18 > 0:15:21that's going to revert back to you pretty quickly, isn't it?

0:15:21 > 0:15:23What?

0:15:23 > 0:15:25I mean, without being emotional,

0:15:25 > 0:15:27when the inevitable happens, you and your wife are going to be

0:15:27 > 0:15:30sitting on three fifths between the two of you

0:15:30 > 0:15:35and Simon and I don't think that's particularly fair, do we?

0:15:35 > 0:15:36Mm-mm.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39Now, just a minute... Put it down. Put it down!

0:15:39 > 0:15:41This balloon actually belongs to us.

0:15:41 > 0:15:43We paid for it. Jan'll have the receipt somewhere,

0:15:43 > 0:15:44so you two can just fuck off!

0:15:45 > 0:15:47I beg your pardon?

0:15:47 > 0:15:48You heard me. Fuck off!

0:15:48 > 0:15:51This is my house, my party and my balloon!

0:15:51 > 0:15:53You invited us here, Mr Vickers.

0:15:53 > 0:15:55Mr Parsons gave up time from his busy schedule...

0:15:55 > 0:15:57I don't give a shit!

0:15:57 > 0:15:59He's dead now and I want him and you out of my house!

0:15:59 > 0:16:02We'll go, just as soon as you give us what's rightfully ours.

0:16:02 > 0:16:05What's rightfully OURS, you mean. Pack of 12, ?1.99?

0:16:05 > 0:16:08What's inside it isn't yours, is it?

0:16:08 > 0:16:11You own the skin but you don't own the air.

0:16:11 > 0:16:12That's right.

0:16:12 > 0:16:14Nobody owns the air.

0:16:16 > 0:16:19All right.

0:16:19 > 0:16:20All right. Well, if you want the air,

0:16:20 > 0:16:23you can have it... Whoa! This is what you want! Stop, stop!

0:16:23 > 0:16:26Isn't it?! Is this what you want?! Put it down... Is it?!

0:16:26 > 0:16:28Stop it!

0:16:33 > 0:16:34Get down off the sofa, Graham.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42Give the balloon to Tamsin.

0:16:42 > 0:16:45It's her birthday. It belongs to her.

0:16:48 > 0:16:51She's neutral. I thought I was neutral.

0:16:51 > 0:16:52Not any more, you're not.

0:16:52 > 0:16:55You went from Switzerland to Nazi Germany in one fell goose step.

0:16:58 > 0:16:59Here.

0:17:01 > 0:17:04Be very, very careful with it, Tam-Tam.

0:17:05 > 0:17:07You know you wanted to go Disney?

0:17:07 > 0:17:09The proper one, not the froggy one?

0:17:09 > 0:17:13Well, imagine this is your ticket in.

0:17:13 > 0:17:16Yeah, your golden ticket.

0:17:16 > 0:17:19Don't make promises you can't keep, Graham.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22She's been through enough.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24Trust me.

0:17:26 > 0:17:30Now let's sit down, have a spot of lunch,

0:17:30 > 0:17:32and we'll talk about this like adults.

0:17:37 > 0:17:41Must be very rewarding, your job.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43Yes, yes, I suppose it is.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45When you see a little boy's face light up

0:17:45 > 0:17:48because John Terry's brought him a signed England shirt,

0:17:48 > 0:17:50well, you can't put a price on that.

0:17:51 > 0:17:55But you can put a price on a pop star's last ever breath?

0:17:55 > 0:17:57It's just a guesstimate.

0:17:57 > 0:17:59Something to put in the budget. You know?

0:18:05 > 0:18:09What's the best dream you've ever made come true?

0:18:09 > 0:18:11Mm, I'm often asked that.

0:18:12 > 0:18:15I'd have to say - and it sounds silly, really -

0:18:15 > 0:18:17but there was a little girl with...

0:18:17 > 0:18:21I think...Hodgkin's disease.

0:18:21 > 0:18:23I don't get involved with the illness side.

0:18:23 > 0:18:26And her dream was to be a postman.

0:18:26 > 0:18:30That's all. Not give a letter to the Queen, or meet Postman Pat.

0:18:30 > 0:18:32Just be a postman.

0:18:32 > 0:18:36Nigel shunted it my way. Zero press interest there, of course.

0:18:36 > 0:18:38But when we gave her that letter

0:18:38 > 0:18:41and told her to put it through the letter box,

0:18:41 > 0:18:44the little giggle after it landed.

0:18:46 > 0:18:48Said it meant the whole world to her.

0:18:50 > 0:18:52Then she dropped down dead right there on the doorstep.

0:18:52 > 0:18:54Press went mad for it.

0:18:54 > 0:18:56So, up yours, Nigel.

0:18:57 > 0:18:59That was my favourite one.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

0:19:07 > 0:19:09Mr Forboise said he'll be here in 20 minutes

0:19:09 > 0:19:11with the coroner and ambulance crew.

0:19:11 > 0:19:15OK. They'll be incognito, so they don't raise any alarm.

0:19:15 > 0:19:18Said he wanted to do this with dignity. Absolutely.

0:19:20 > 0:19:23You didn't tell him about... Oh, no, no, no.

0:19:23 > 0:19:25I'll just claim ignorance. Yeah, probably best.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33Was he a good boss? Who? Mr Parsons?

0:19:35 > 0:19:36Bit of a dick, to be honest. Yeah?

0:19:36 > 0:19:38I mean, he knew how to work it and all that,

0:19:38 > 0:19:40but I don't think he was a happy man.

0:19:40 > 0:19:44You should have heard the way he was bitching about having to come here.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46No? "I shouldn't have to be around these sick kids.

0:19:46 > 0:19:48"They make me depressed."

0:19:48 > 0:19:50Oh, how disappointing!

0:19:50 > 0:19:52Don't say anything to Jan, will you? She'd be mortified.

0:19:52 > 0:19:54No, no, no, of course not.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57You see, that's the trouble with being famous, isn't it?

0:19:57 > 0:20:00Your life's not your own any more.

0:20:00 > 0:20:01For real.

0:20:01 > 0:20:02BANG

0:20:02 > 0:20:03What the...

0:20:05 > 0:20:06Oh, thank God.

0:20:07 > 0:20:08Was just a car backfiring.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10I'm not being funny, but we should put

0:20:10 > 0:20:12the item upstairs, out of the way.

0:20:12 > 0:20:13This place will be crawling with quacks

0:20:13 > 0:20:15in a few minutes. Anything can happen.

0:20:15 > 0:20:18Yeah. And are the quacks linked to the pigs, or...?

0:20:18 > 0:20:20I'll put it in the spare room.

0:20:20 > 0:20:22As long as it's safe, yeah? It will be.

0:20:22 > 0:20:25Come on, Tam-Tam, give it to Daddy.

0:20:25 > 0:20:26Good girl.

0:20:27 > 0:20:30Let go, sweetheart.

0:20:30 > 0:20:33Daddy needs this. Come on.

0:20:33 > 0:20:34Good girl.

0:20:36 > 0:20:37Let go.

0:20:45 > 0:20:46I'm coming with you.

0:20:49 > 0:20:51Let's put some music on, Tam.

0:20:51 > 0:20:52Cheer you up a bit.

0:20:54 > 0:20:58# Keeping my eyes on the road

0:20:58 > 0:21:01# I see you

0:21:01 > 0:21:03# Ah-ah-ah

0:21:03 > 0:21:07# Keeping my hands on the wheel

0:21:07 > 0:21:10# I hold you

0:21:10 > 0:21:12# Ah-ah-ah

0:21:12 > 0:21:16# 99 miles from LA

0:21:16 > 0:21:18# I kiss you

0:21:18 > 0:21:20# I miss you

0:21:20 > 0:21:24# Please be there

0:21:26 > 0:21:30# Passing a white sandy beach

0:21:30 > 0:21:33# We're sailing... #

0:21:43 > 0:21:45Be about seven or eight minutes.

0:21:45 > 0:21:46Cool.

0:21:48 > 0:21:50Thanks, man.

0:21:55 > 0:21:56You all right, Tam-Tam?

0:21:59 > 0:22:02Do her another balloon, Graham. She misses it.

0:22:02 > 0:22:04How can she miss it? It's only a...

0:22:08 > 0:22:10What colour do you want, darling?

0:22:10 > 0:22:12There's white, yellow, purple...

0:22:14 > 0:22:16How many more purple ones? Two.

0:22:18 > 0:22:21You know, if we could sell the first one to a private bidder,

0:22:21 > 0:22:23no public auction, confidentiality clause.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25We've got the video evidence.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27Add a bit of Frankie's DNA.

0:22:28 > 0:22:30Do it.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32Isn't that cheating? Doesn't matter.

0:22:32 > 0:22:36A thing is only worth what someone's willing to pay for it.

0:22:36 > 0:22:39Careful, Graham. You'll do yourself an injury...

0:22:39 > 0:22:41Well, go and get the bloody pumper, then!

0:22:41 > 0:22:43We don't know where it is!

0:22:43 > 0:22:45Just give me that.

0:22:45 > 0:22:48Oh, God, I'm feeling all light-headed.

0:22:48 > 0:22:50Stretch it first. I'm seeing stars.

0:22:52 > 0:22:53I found the pumper. It was in the...

0:22:53 > 0:22:55Aaargh!

0:22:55 > 0:22:57# Lover, come back to me

0:22:57 > 0:22:59# Take, it boys

0:22:59 > 0:23:01# Come back to, come back to me... #

0:23:06 > 0:23:07BALLOON DEFLATES

0:23:07 > 0:23:09Is Frankie better now?

0:23:09 > 0:23:11Jan, take Tamsin to the toilet, please.

0:23:11 > 0:23:13I don't want to go. Just do it.

0:23:15 > 0:23:17Come on, sweetheart. No!

0:23:18 > 0:23:21Mummy will change your bag for you. No! I don't want to!

0:23:37 > 0:23:39Is he...

0:23:39 > 0:23:42He's alive. Good.

0:23:42 > 0:23:44Well, that's fantastic, isn't it?

0:23:44 > 0:23:47Yes. It's a very faint pulse.

0:23:47 > 0:23:51Well, we just have to cross our fingers and hope for the best.

0:23:51 > 0:23:52Right.

0:23:52 > 0:23:54What is the best?

0:23:54 > 0:23:57How long till the ambulance crew get here?

0:23:57 > 0:23:58Five minutes. OK.

0:24:00 > 0:24:02OK, I mean, it's still going to be worth something.

0:24:02 > 0:24:06Someone bought Justin Timberlake's toast crumbs for, like, three grand.

0:24:06 > 0:24:08I mean, it's not like it's been a total waste of time.

0:24:08 > 0:24:10Pick a hand. What?

0:24:10 > 0:24:12Pick a hand! We've got to do this quickly!

0:24:12 > 0:24:13Do what? What are we talking about here?

0:24:13 > 0:24:16Just pick one, for fuck's sake.

0:24:16 > 0:24:17It's your job, man.

0:24:17 > 0:24:20What, my job? No, I found the coin. I won!

0:24:20 > 0:24:22Coin loses. Says who?

0:24:22 > 0:24:23Just flip it. Heads or tails.

0:24:23 > 0:24:26Hang on a minute. How come this is just a two man thing?

0:24:26 > 0:24:28Do you want the money or not? Yes, but... Call it then.

0:24:28 > 0:24:30She knocked herself out blowing up a balloon, never mind that.

0:24:30 > 0:24:32To be fair, so did he. Call it.

0:24:32 > 0:24:35No, I'm not prepared to play God in this way.

0:24:35 > 0:24:38The man's a huge star! He brings pleasure to millions of people!

0:24:38 > 0:24:40Not like that, he doesn't. How do you know?

0:24:40 > 0:24:41He had a brain aneurysm. He's a vegetable.

0:24:41 > 0:24:43He'll spend the rest of his life bed-bound,

0:24:43 > 0:24:46eating through a straw and shitting into a bucket.

0:24:46 > 0:24:48What kind of life is that? No offence. No offence?

0:24:48 > 0:24:51That's one of the most offensive things I've ever heard in my life!

0:24:51 > 0:24:54Look, I spend my whole life making other people's dreams come true.

0:24:54 > 0:24:57Standing by and smiling while they fly off in a helicopter with

0:24:57 > 0:25:00a candyfloss in one hand and a D-lister in the other.

0:25:00 > 0:25:02Why can't it be my turn?

0:25:02 > 0:25:04What about my needs? My wishes?

0:25:04 > 0:25:06The man's alive.

0:25:06 > 0:25:09Not for much longer. Now, call it.

0:25:12 > 0:25:14No, I can't. Call it.

0:25:14 > 0:25:15Heads!

0:25:17 > 0:25:19Heads.

0:25:19 > 0:25:22You win. Fuck!

0:25:22 > 0:25:23Get me a cushion.

0:25:32 > 0:25:35I can't be here for this.

0:25:35 > 0:25:36I can't witness this!

0:25:41 > 0:25:43Oh, God.

0:25:44 > 0:25:45Here.

0:25:45 > 0:25:47Get his DNA on these.

0:25:47 > 0:25:50We might be able to do something with them at a later date.

0:25:58 > 0:26:01Right. I'll go and have a little chat with Tam-Tam.

0:26:02 > 0:26:05Tell her the bad news.

0:26:30 > 0:26:33Right. I'm going with Mr Forboise.

0:26:33 > 0:26:36Pigs will be onto this within the hour, so be ready, yeah?

0:26:36 > 0:26:38Sit tight and I'll be in touch.

0:26:42 > 0:26:44Nice to meet you.

0:26:45 > 0:26:49Well, the press are going to have a field day with this.

0:26:49 > 0:26:52We should have another look at that camcorder footage, actually.

0:26:52 > 0:26:55If we cut it into 30 second segments, we might be able to send

0:26:55 > 0:26:57a chunk to each of the networks.

0:26:57 > 0:26:58I wouldn't bet on it.

0:26:58 > 0:27:00Our Jan did most of the filming, remember?

0:27:02 > 0:27:04Oh, Tamsin!

0:27:04 > 0:27:05There's three bits...

0:27:08 > 0:27:10Tam-Tam? Tamsin!

0:27:12 > 0:27:13Tamsin!

0:27:16 > 0:27:18Tamsin, where are you, darling?!

0:27:21 > 0:27:23Tam-Tam?

0:27:24 > 0:27:29Graham, where's Tamsin? I can't find her. Eh?

0:27:29 > 0:27:31She's there, look.

0:27:31 > 0:27:33Tamsin!

0:27:34 > 0:27:37Tamsin? What you doing?

0:27:37 > 0:27:39Tamsin! No!

0:27:39 > 0:27:41Shit. Film it, film it!

0:27:41 > 0:27:43It's all we've got.

0:27:44 > 0:27:47GENTLE VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYS

0:27:56 > 0:27:59# One day in your life

0:27:59 > 0:28:04# You'll remember a place

0:28:04 > 0:28:10# Someone touching your face

0:28:10 > 0:28:13# You'll come back

0:28:13 > 0:28:18# And you'll look around you

0:28:18 > 0:28:23# One day in your life # Ah-ah-ah

0:28:23 > 0:28:25# You'll remember

0:28:25 > 0:28:30# The love you found here... #