The 12 Days of Christine

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0:00:07 > 0:00:14This programme contains some strong language.

0:00:17 > 0:00:19MAN AND WOMAN LAUGH

0:00:19 > 0:00:22- Come on, put it in! - I can't. I can't!

0:00:22 > 0:00:24- I can't do it. - Don't, you're dropping me!

0:00:24 > 0:00:25SHE LAUGHS

0:00:25 > 0:00:27Ah!

0:00:27 > 0:00:28KEYS TURN IN LOCK

0:00:28 > 0:00:31SHE LAUGHS

0:00:34 > 0:00:35I've got it, I've got it.

0:00:43 > 0:00:45Is that a proper fireman's lift?

0:00:45 > 0:00:48I dunno, I'm not a proper fireman.

0:00:48 > 0:00:51Uh, have you got something to drink?

0:00:51 > 0:00:55Probably, have a look in the fridge.

0:00:58 > 0:01:00Oh, don't touch anything with Fung on it!

0:01:00 > 0:01:02What?

0:01:02 > 0:01:04She's my flatmate. She labels everything.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07Fung? What's that, it's Chinese?

0:01:07 > 0:01:10Shh, don't say her name, she might appear.

0:01:10 > 0:01:12She's been in bed since 9 o'clock.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14Oh, well, they have a different New Year to us, don't they?

0:01:14 > 0:01:16Yeah, she won't be out till February.

0:01:16 > 0:01:19- Is that when it is? - Yeah, I'm a dog, apparently.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21- Oh, I've seen worse.- Oi!

0:01:21 > 0:01:22Ow!

0:01:22 > 0:01:23Sorry.

0:01:25 > 0:01:29I thought you were going home with John Lennon, anyway.

0:01:29 > 0:01:32He wasn't John Lennon, he was Harry Potter.

0:01:32 > 0:01:35Mm, Harry Potter, was he?

0:01:35 > 0:01:37Yeah, well, I think so.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39It was just a pair of round glasses though, weren't it?

0:01:39 > 0:01:40Did he show you his wand?

0:01:40 > 0:01:44No, because I told him I wanted to see the fireman's pole.

0:01:56 > 0:01:59I'm...

0:01:59 > 0:02:01My name's Adam, by the way.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03- If you're interested.- Sorry.

0:02:03 > 0:02:05- SHE CLEARS HER THROAT - I'm Eve.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08- Really? - No, I just wanted to say that.

0:02:08 > 0:02:11I'm Chrissie, Happy New Year.

0:02:13 > 0:02:15Happy New Year. Where's your toilet?

0:02:15 > 0:02:16- It's down the corridor.- Right.

0:02:18 > 0:02:20I'm going to go and...

0:02:20 > 0:02:23Ah! ..unravel my hosepipe.

0:02:23 > 0:02:26Oh, ho-ho. Don't have it on sprinkle.

0:02:26 > 0:02:29THEY LAUGH

0:02:30 > 0:02:32PHONE RINGS

0:02:34 > 0:02:35Ooh!

0:02:35 > 0:02:37SHE LAUGHS

0:02:38 > 0:02:39Hello?

0:02:39 > 0:02:42ADAM: 'Hi, sexy. Did you get my valentine's card?'

0:02:42 > 0:02:45No, not yet, but the post hasn't been. Did you get mine?

0:02:45 > 0:02:48'Yes, probably somewhere in this pile here.'

0:02:48 > 0:02:50- Ha-ha.- 'Ah!'

0:02:50 > 0:02:51What time are you picking me up?

0:02:51 > 0:02:57'Erm, 7-ish? Do you want sex then meal or meal then sex?'

0:02:57 > 0:02:59- Erm, how about sex, meal, sex? - SHE CHUCKLES

0:02:59 > 0:03:02'That depends, is The Grudge going to be in?'

0:03:02 > 0:03:06Er, I'm not sure. I'll get back to you with that information.

0:03:06 > 0:03:09- 'Is she there?'- Yes.- 'All right, I'll call you later.'- Mwah.- 'Bye-bye.'

0:03:09 > 0:03:10SHE CHUCKLES

0:03:12 > 0:03:14Hey, Fung.

0:03:14 > 0:03:16Good morning.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19What have you got on today?

0:03:19 > 0:03:23I have a seminar this morning and another seminar this afternoon.

0:03:23 > 0:03:26- More maths?- Mm. Continuous quantity, yes.

0:03:26 > 0:03:28- Oh. - METALLIC NOISE

0:03:29 > 0:03:30Sounds complicated.

0:03:30 > 0:03:32Not necessarily.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35Well, it depends on your approach to measurable magnitudes.

0:03:35 > 0:03:37Right.

0:03:37 > 0:03:41Like you have been going out with Adam for 13 months...

0:03:41 > 0:03:44- Mm.- ..which is one year and one month.

0:03:44 > 0:03:46Now, this is referred to as a portable vector.

0:03:46 > 0:03:49Oh, my God, how weird.

0:03:49 > 0:03:52Well, not really, it's number theory.

0:03:52 > 0:03:54No, I...

0:03:54 > 0:03:56I've been, I've been sent a valentine's card

0:03:56 > 0:03:57from my ex-boyfriend.

0:03:57 > 0:04:00Well, maybe he still likes you?

0:04:00 > 0:04:03I haven't seen him since I was 12, I barely remember him.

0:04:03 > 0:04:08"Roses are red, violets are blue What is that smell? I need a poo."

0:04:10 > 0:04:12His sense of humour hasn't changed much.

0:04:12 > 0:04:14I wonder how he got my address?

0:04:14 > 0:04:17Right, I need to go to my seminar.

0:04:17 > 0:04:21I won't be back until 7.30 if you want to have sex with Adam.

0:04:21 > 0:04:23Oh...

0:04:23 > 0:04:24Thank you.

0:04:29 > 0:04:31MARION LAUGHS

0:04:31 > 0:04:33Do you remember your teddy, Christine?

0:04:33 > 0:04:35I'll bring it along next time.

0:04:35 > 0:04:41Oh, she had a lovely peachy bottom, Adam.

0:04:41 > 0:04:42Look at that.

0:04:42 > 0:04:44Ah... Her lovely peachy bottom.

0:04:44 > 0:04:47Yeah. Mum, stop now. You're embarrassing Adam.

0:04:47 > 0:04:51No, love, I'm embarrassing you. Right, well, shall I be Mother?

0:04:51 > 0:04:54Yes, why not. It is Mother's Day.

0:04:54 > 0:04:55Oh! HE LAUGHS

0:04:55 > 0:04:57Who's that?

0:04:59 > 0:05:02Yes, that, that was...Christine's first boyfriend.

0:05:04 > 0:05:08Such a shame he...he died when he was just 16.

0:05:10 > 0:05:12Did he?

0:05:12 > 0:05:13Yes!

0:05:14 > 0:05:16He got...

0:05:16 > 0:05:18(Leukaemia.)

0:05:20 > 0:05:26She's got a memory like a sieve, but she's done well with you, Adam.

0:05:26 > 0:05:31You're smashing, though you could do with getting a haircut.

0:05:31 > 0:05:33Mum!

0:05:33 > 0:05:35So when are you going to marry her?

0:05:35 > 0:05:36SHE SPLUTTERS

0:05:36 > 0:05:38Erm...

0:05:38 > 0:05:39Oh, my God.

0:05:39 > 0:05:42Well, you've been courting for two years.

0:05:43 > 0:05:45I was married with a daughter by then.

0:05:45 > 0:05:47Yeah, so we're not all like you, Mum.

0:05:47 > 0:05:49I have my career to think about.

0:05:49 > 0:05:51Career? Huh, measuring feet in Clarks

0:05:51 > 0:05:54is hardly a career, Christine.

0:05:54 > 0:05:55Thank you very much, Mum.

0:05:55 > 0:06:00All I'm saying is your father would like to walk you down the aisle...

0:06:02 > 0:06:03..while he still can.

0:06:06 > 0:06:08- Would anybody like a biscuit? - Yes, please.- No, thanks.

0:06:08 > 0:06:10- OK.- Oh.

0:06:17 > 0:06:19Mum, just stop it, all right!

0:06:19 > 0:06:21Look, there's nothing wrong with getting married.

0:06:21 > 0:06:25- Sh, sh!- Your generation seems to think it's old-fashioned.

0:06:25 > 0:06:26It's not. It's a commitment.

0:06:26 > 0:06:28We don't even live together yet.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31Exactly! That would be a start.

0:06:31 > 0:06:34Look, it's not going to happen, so stop going on about it, OK?

0:06:34 > 0:06:37- I don't even know if Adam's really...- Chrissie?

0:06:37 > 0:06:39Where shall I put my CDs?

0:06:39 > 0:06:41Er, here?

0:06:44 > 0:06:46My... So much stuff.

0:06:46 > 0:06:48Yeah, there's plenty more.

0:06:50 > 0:06:52You're not regretting it, are you?

0:06:52 > 0:06:53- No.- Sure?

0:06:53 > 0:06:57Fung's moved out now so someone's got to pay the rent.

0:06:57 > 0:06:59- Ah.- So...- So.

0:07:01 > 0:07:02Right.

0:07:02 > 0:07:03Don't be long.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06- I've got a surprise for you when you get back.- Oh!

0:07:08 > 0:07:10DOOR CLOSES

0:07:10 > 0:07:11Well...

0:07:11 > 0:07:13SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

0:07:24 > 0:07:28MUSIC: Time To Say Goodbye by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman

0:07:52 > 0:07:53Shit!

0:07:53 > 0:07:55Adam?

0:07:59 > 0:08:01Adam, what are you doing?

0:08:06 > 0:08:08This isn't funny, Adam.

0:08:08 > 0:08:09EGG SPLATS

0:08:27 > 0:08:28SHE GASPS

0:08:33 > 0:08:34RATTLING NOISE

0:08:34 > 0:08:37DOOR CREAKS

0:08:39 > 0:08:40SHE GASPS

0:08:56 > 0:08:57SHE SIGHS

0:08:57 > 0:08:58ZIP UNFASTENS

0:09:09 > 0:09:11I'm sorry.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13SHE GASPS

0:09:13 > 0:09:14What? What?

0:09:14 > 0:09:17No. Oh!

0:09:17 > 0:09:19- Horrible dream.- Ah.

0:09:19 > 0:09:21ALARM CLOCK BEEPS

0:09:21 > 0:09:23- Oh, get the alarm, would you?- Yeah.

0:09:24 > 0:09:27Oh, come on, darling. You're going to be late for work.

0:09:27 > 0:09:29- It's a bank holiday, isn't it? - Oh, yeah.

0:09:29 > 0:09:32But I'll have a cup of tea now you're up.

0:09:32 > 0:09:34Oh, OK.

0:09:34 > 0:09:37Oh, what shall we do today?

0:09:37 > 0:09:42Erm...insert groove dowel pins into B1 and B2.

0:09:42 > 0:09:43I thoug...I dunno what they are.

0:09:43 > 0:09:46They look like that, they look like little maggots.

0:09:46 > 0:09:48Right, erm...

0:09:48 > 0:09:49OK.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53- Er...- And then what?

0:09:53 > 0:09:57Er...align sliding panel AB alongside bar EF.

0:09:57 > 0:09:59- We've already done that.- OK.

0:09:59 > 0:10:03Insert rod into top pole until base connects.

0:10:04 > 0:10:07Isn't that what got us into this mess in the first place?

0:10:07 > 0:10:08HE PANTS

0:10:11 > 0:10:15SHE CRIES Oh, hey, hey, don't cry.

0:10:15 > 0:10:18What... What are you worried about?

0:10:20 > 0:10:22I don't know, I just...

0:10:22 > 0:10:24What?

0:10:24 > 0:10:27I don't want the baby to spoil everything.

0:10:27 > 0:10:30Well, it's not going to do that.

0:10:30 > 0:10:33How would it do that?

0:10:33 > 0:10:35BABY CRIES

0:10:39 > 0:10:41BABY CONTINUES CRYING

0:10:41 > 0:10:42No. Ah!

0:10:48 > 0:10:53'Hey, hey, hey, hey. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, what's this noise?

0:10:53 > 0:10:55'Shh, shh, what's all this noise?

0:10:55 > 0:11:02ADAM SINGS: # 'Time to say goodbye

0:11:02 > 0:11:06# 'Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do... #

0:11:07 > 0:11:11- MAN'S VOICE:- 'Come on, little man, let's get you out of there.'

0:11:11 > 0:11:13Jack! Jack.

0:11:15 > 0:11:16Jack?

0:11:17 > 0:11:18Adam?

0:11:19 > 0:11:23Adam! Someone's taken Jack!

0:11:23 > 0:11:24What are you doing?

0:11:24 > 0:11:28- SHE PANTS - Wha...? I heard somebody talking.

0:11:29 > 0:11:31Yeah. Yeah, it was me.

0:11:31 > 0:11:34- I know...- I'm trying to get him to sleep.- It wasn't you. I...

0:11:34 > 0:11:37Shh, calm down, calm down. You'll set him off again. Hey, come on.

0:11:39 > 0:11:40Hey, oh, there we go.

0:11:43 > 0:11:47All right? You're just overtired. Come with me.

0:11:47 > 0:11:50BABY WHIMPERS

0:11:54 > 0:11:55- MARION:- Open your eyes!

0:11:55 > 0:11:58ALL: Surprise! THEY LAUGH

0:11:59 > 0:12:01One big puff.

0:12:01 > 0:12:02Ah.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04Ah! Happy birthday!

0:12:04 > 0:12:06Ah, thank you.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08Oh, my God.

0:12:09 > 0:12:10Hi, Dad!

0:12:10 > 0:12:14Oh, he's been so excited all week, haven't you, Ernie?

0:12:16 > 0:12:22Well, he...he did know he was coming, but I think it's gone again.

0:12:22 > 0:12:24I shouldn't have brought him, really.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26No, I'm glad he's here.

0:12:26 > 0:12:29He wouldn't want you to remember him like this.

0:12:30 > 0:12:34Happy birthday, dear. Bet you can't guess what these are.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36But they didn't have them in my size.

0:12:36 > 0:12:38Well, someone rang Ipswich and got them DHL'd.

0:12:38 > 0:12:42Oh, my God, you shouldn't have! Ah, thank you so much!

0:12:42 > 0:12:45Two words - staff discount.

0:12:45 > 0:12:46Where's Adam?

0:12:46 > 0:12:48I don't know, actually. Mum, where's Adam?

0:12:48 > 0:12:50I'm not sure, he said he'd be here.

0:12:50 > 0:12:52DOOR OPENS

0:12:52 > 0:12:55Hi, darling, happy birthday!

0:12:57 > 0:12:59Ah...

0:12:59 > 0:13:00Hi, Zara.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03Happy birthday, Chrissie. You look...fab.

0:13:03 > 0:13:05Ah, I don't, but thanks anyway.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08No, I'm sure you've lost a bit. Yeah, turn round.

0:13:13 > 0:13:15Yeah, you...you definitely have.

0:13:16 > 0:13:20It's only baby fat, it'll be gone soon enough.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22Well, he's hardly a baby, he's two now.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24Where is he?

0:13:24 > 0:13:26Erm, he's just having a nap, how was your work do?

0:13:26 > 0:13:28- Yeah. We, well, we popped our heads in, didn't we?- Yeah.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30Just to schmooze a few clients.

0:13:30 > 0:13:31ADAM CHUCKLES

0:13:31 > 0:13:33Hi, Bobby.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35Hi, Adam. Um...

0:13:35 > 0:13:38Ah, this is Zara. She's just started under me.

0:13:38 > 0:13:39Mm, has she?

0:13:45 > 0:13:46Adam.

0:13:47 > 0:13:49- My dad's here.- Yeah. - Go and say hello.

0:13:49 > 0:13:51Yeah, I'll just get some drinks first.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Right then, come on, Chrissie. It's THAT time.

0:13:56 > 0:13:58No, Mum, please.

0:13:58 > 0:14:00No, no, it's tradition.

0:14:00 > 0:14:03- No, I...- Every birthday since she was six,

0:14:03 > 0:14:05we've played blind man's buff.

0:14:05 > 0:14:07- No, not every birthday. - Yes, we have.

0:14:07 > 0:14:11Though last year it was more blind drunk buff.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13Excuse me, I wasn't there.

0:14:13 > 0:14:15She said 'buff', not 'poof'.

0:14:15 > 0:14:19Oh, she's always enjoyed party games, haven't you, love?

0:14:19 > 0:14:26Now, the first person you catch can give you your main present.

0:14:28 > 0:14:30Now, you come and spin her, Bobby.

0:14:30 > 0:14:32Oh, my pleasure.

0:14:32 > 0:14:36One, two, three and...off you go.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38Er!

0:14:41 > 0:14:42Argh!

0:14:52 > 0:14:53HE SCREAMS

0:14:53 > 0:14:56Dad, sorry, sorry, sorry! Sorry, sorry.

0:15:02 > 0:15:04SHE GIGGLES

0:15:04 > 0:15:07SPRINGS SQUEAK

0:15:17 > 0:15:20SQUEAKING INTENSIFIES

0:15:34 > 0:15:35HE PANTS

0:15:35 > 0:15:38I can't get the case to close. You're going to have to take something out.

0:15:38 > 0:15:40Well, you always pack the cases.

0:15:41 > 0:15:44Erm, look, you don't need these shoes, do you?

0:15:44 > 0:15:47No, they're my birthday shoes Bobby got me last year.

0:15:47 > 0:15:50- I've barely warn those.- Well...

0:15:50 > 0:15:52We can't take all of these toys then.

0:15:52 > 0:15:54No, no, he won't sleep without them.

0:15:54 > 0:15:58Well, just make him choose one. You're too soft on him.

0:15:58 > 0:15:59It's his holiday too.

0:16:01 > 0:16:03- It wasn't meant to be.- Don't start.

0:16:03 > 0:16:06It was supposed to be just me and you.

0:16:06 > 0:16:09A chance to get away from this miserable flat for a while.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11- Yes, well, I'm very sorry that my dad died.- Oh...

0:16:11 > 0:16:14I couldn't get my mum to take him now, could I?

0:16:14 > 0:16:16- I'm not saying that. - Then what are you saying?!

0:16:16 > 0:16:18I just wanted it to be fun...

0:16:20 > 0:16:21..like it used to be.

0:16:21 > 0:16:26Well, that's just life, Adam. We're doing what other people do.

0:16:26 > 0:16:27We're going on holiday as a family.

0:16:27 > 0:16:30Yeah? Well, I can't fucking wait. Get the passports.

0:16:46 > 0:16:47What day is it today, Jack?

0:16:47 > 0:16:50The first of September.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52And what's happening today?

0:16:52 > 0:16:54I've got school.

0:16:54 > 0:16:58Right. Come on then. Grandma's going to walk you down.

0:16:58 > 0:17:00I want you to take me.

0:17:00 > 0:17:04Erm, I can't, darling, Mummy's got to work.

0:17:04 > 0:17:06But I'll be there when you finish, OK?

0:17:06 > 0:17:08You are going to have a brilliant day.

0:17:08 > 0:17:11I am so, so proud of you.

0:17:13 > 0:17:19Ah, right. Now, come on, don't let's be late for our first day.

0:17:19 > 0:17:23All right. Come on. You're going to show me the way.

0:17:23 > 0:17:27Now, you, come on, then let's go and find this lovely new school.

0:17:27 > 0:17:29This is going to be fun.

0:17:29 > 0:17:31- Yes. - DOOR CLOSES

0:17:36 > 0:17:38SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

0:18:16 > 0:18:19Come on, Chrissie, don't upset yourself.

0:18:20 > 0:18:23I just didn't...I didn't think it would turn out like this.

0:18:25 > 0:18:29Well, I never thought I'd end up walking into the garden centre

0:18:29 > 0:18:32and peeing on the hydrangeas, but there you go.

0:18:32 > 0:18:35But you weren't well, it wasn't your fault.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38And this isn't yours, darling girl.

0:18:38 > 0:18:44Isn't it? Adam's left me, Jack's left me.

0:18:44 > 0:18:45Only till 3 o'clock.

0:18:45 > 0:18:48I know but I'm...

0:18:48 > 0:18:53I'm 32, divorced and working in a shoe shop with my gay best friend.

0:18:53 > 0:18:56It's hardly the Cinderella story, is it?

0:18:56 > 0:18:59Hey, come on, enough of that nonsense.

0:18:59 > 0:19:01It's Jack's first day at school.

0:19:01 > 0:19:03This is meant to be a happy memory.

0:19:03 > 0:19:07I'm sorry, Dad, it just doesn't feel like that.

0:19:08 > 0:19:11DOOR BELL RINGS

0:19:12 > 0:19:14Bobby, can you get that?

0:19:14 > 0:19:16I can't, I'm putting my contacts in.

0:19:16 > 0:19:17Oh!

0:19:17 > 0:19:19DOOR BELL RINGS

0:19:23 > 0:19:24Hi.

0:19:24 > 0:19:27- ADAM: 'It's me, can you buzz me in?' - And you're late.- 'Thanks.'

0:19:32 > 0:19:35Come on, Bobby. Come on, Adam's arrived.

0:19:35 > 0:19:36You ready?

0:19:36 > 0:19:38What'd you think?

0:19:38 > 0:19:40Are those the contacts or just your eyes?

0:19:40 > 0:19:41Contacts.

0:19:41 > 0:19:44Oh, it's good. What are you, a zombie waiter?

0:19:44 > 0:19:46Oh, piss off, Chrissie, I'm meant to be a vampire!

0:19:46 > 0:19:47Oh, right!

0:19:47 > 0:19:50Right, well, I'm turning it into a werewolf.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52I've got teeth here somewhere.

0:19:52 > 0:19:55So, erm, is your new fella going to be there?

0:19:55 > 0:19:58He's not me new fella, be quiet.

0:19:58 > 0:20:00You want him to be though, don't you?

0:20:00 > 0:20:02I've...only seen his picture on a website.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05It's fancy dress, how are you going to know it's him?

0:20:05 > 0:20:07He's going to have an alien bursting out of his chest.

0:20:07 > 0:20:09And er, did you just say you're going as yourself?

0:20:09 > 0:20:12- Ha-ha. - DOOR CLOSES

0:20:12 > 0:20:15Jack's in his bedroom.

0:20:15 > 0:20:17You got some explaining to do.

0:20:17 > 0:20:19DOOR CLOSES

0:20:19 > 0:20:21Do I look hairy enough?

0:20:22 > 0:20:24- You look like Tony the Tiger.- Oh...

0:20:24 > 0:20:25Come here.

0:20:27 > 0:20:29I'll turn it into a cobweb.

0:20:31 > 0:20:34- Mm, do you remember when I first moved in here ten years ago?- Uh-huh.

0:20:34 > 0:20:37And I was living with that, what was her name, Fung?

0:20:37 > 0:20:40Oh, my God, The Grudge, that would have been a good one.

0:20:40 > 0:20:41THEY CHUCKLE

0:20:41 > 0:20:44Do you remember we said that if neither of us

0:20:44 > 0:20:47met someone in ten years, we'd get married to each other?

0:20:47 > 0:20:50Ah, you're not that desperate, are you, babe?

0:20:50 > 0:20:54No, I was thinking, you know, it's funny how things turn out.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58Ah...

0:20:58 > 0:20:59KNOCKING ON DOOR

0:20:59 > 0:21:03Oh, trick or treaters. Go on, give 'em a scare.

0:21:03 > 0:21:04Grr.

0:21:04 > 0:21:06THEY LAUGH

0:21:12 > 0:21:15You could have told me the lift was broken. I'm knackered!

0:21:18 > 0:21:20Jack? Jack!

0:21:23 > 0:21:25I've got him, I've got him.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27I've got him, got...

0:21:27 > 0:21:32No, just get back here as quickly as you can, will you?

0:21:32 > 0:21:33OK, thanks.

0:21:33 > 0:21:36Here you go, darling. Here.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39Keep it there. OK, it's going to sting a little bit,

0:21:39 > 0:21:43but just keep it under there. I'm just going to ring Daddy.

0:21:43 > 0:21:45- ADAM: 'Hello?' - Jack's had an accident.

0:21:45 > 0:21:49- 'What?'- He's...he's all right, but he's burnt his hand on a sparkler.

0:21:49 > 0:21:52'Ah, OK, OK. Erm... Well...'

0:21:52 > 0:21:53Can you just come round please? I need you.

0:21:53 > 0:21:56- 'OK, I'm on my way.'- Thanks. He's probably fine, I'm just...

0:21:56 > 0:21:58I'm overreacting.

0:21:58 > 0:22:00I've seen too many public information films.

0:22:00 > 0:22:02- Oh, Christine.- He's in the bathroom.

0:22:02 > 0:22:03My mum's here now anyway so...

0:22:03 > 0:22:05'I'll be there in five minutes, OK?'

0:22:05 > 0:22:08- OK.- 'Hang on. I love you.'

0:22:15 > 0:22:18Mum! Mum, is he all right?

0:22:18 > 0:22:22Yes, yes, he's fine.

0:22:22 > 0:22:24There's not a mark on him.

0:22:24 > 0:22:26Look.

0:22:26 > 0:22:29But no, he was crying.

0:22:29 > 0:22:33Well, you probably frightened him.

0:22:33 > 0:22:35Jack, Jack, go and watch the fireworks.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37You can see them out of your window.

0:22:37 > 0:22:39I saw him pick up a sparkler, he burnt his hand.

0:22:39 > 0:22:41I...saw it.

0:22:41 > 0:22:44But he can't have. There's nothing wrong with him.

0:22:44 > 0:22:48You did, when you were his age...

0:22:48 > 0:22:50Burnt right through your mittens.

0:22:50 > 0:22:51Do you remember?

0:22:53 > 0:22:56Well, maybe you were thinking of that?

0:22:56 > 0:22:58Let me get you a cup of tea.

0:23:04 > 0:23:07I don't know what's wrong with me, Mum?

0:23:07 > 0:23:10I'm getting everything jumbled up.

0:23:10 > 0:23:12Well, put your hat on then.

0:23:13 > 0:23:15What?

0:23:15 > 0:23:17Put your hat on.

0:23:19 > 0:23:20That's better.

0:23:20 > 0:23:24Right, why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?

0:23:24 > 0:23:26- Oh.- They always drop their needles.

0:23:26 > 0:23:28- ERNIE:- Terrible.

0:23:28 > 0:23:30Well, you never did have a sense of humour, did you, Ernie?

0:23:30 > 0:23:33Oh, I don't know, I married you, didn't I?

0:23:33 > 0:23:34THEY LAUGH

0:23:34 > 0:23:37Dad, are you all right?

0:23:37 > 0:23:40Yeah, yeah, I'm tickety-boo.

0:23:40 > 0:23:42I had to be here for this, didn't I?

0:23:42 > 0:23:44I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

0:23:44 > 0:23:48Are you all right, love? Well done on all this, it looks gorgeous.

0:23:48 > 0:23:50Just like you.

0:23:51 > 0:23:53Well, I did the Brussels sprouts.

0:23:53 > 0:23:56- Yes, and we'll be hearing from them later.- Oh, dear.

0:23:59 > 0:24:01Wha... Where's Jack?

0:24:01 > 0:24:03Er, he's just getting his outfit on for the Nativity.

0:24:03 > 0:24:05Aw, bless him.

0:24:05 > 0:24:08Adam, are...are we back together?

0:24:08 > 0:24:12Yeah. Course. You remember Bonfire Night last year?

0:24:14 > 0:24:17- I think it's time for the present. - Oh!

0:24:17 > 0:24:20No, I don't want the present.

0:24:20 > 0:24:22Yeah, come on!

0:24:24 > 0:24:27- ERNIE:- This is from all of us. We all contributed.

0:24:27 > 0:24:28I hope you like it.

0:24:49 > 0:24:53Oh, no. Is that me?

0:24:53 > 0:24:55Yes!

0:24:58 > 0:25:00Oh, gosh!

0:25:02 > 0:25:04- Oh! - SHE CHUCKLES

0:25:07 > 0:25:10Oh, the cot! Do you remember that?

0:25:10 > 0:25:13- We couldn't put it up, could we? - Yeah, it took us three days.

0:25:13 > 0:25:15THEY LAUGH

0:25:15 > 0:25:18Ah, look at...

0:25:18 > 0:25:19Tony Tiger.

0:25:22 > 0:25:26This is amazing. You've got everything.

0:25:27 > 0:25:30This is like my whole life is flashing...

0:25:40 > 0:25:41Oh...

0:25:44 > 0:25:46I think I know what this is now.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48WHEELS SQUEAL

0:25:48 > 0:25:49LOUD CRASH

0:25:49 > 0:25:51SIRENS WAIL

0:25:51 > 0:25:55CAR RADIO PLAYS Time To Say Goodbye by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman

0:26:14 > 0:26:15SAW BLADE GRINDS

0:26:36 > 0:26:39OK, Fire Brigade. Can you hear me?

0:26:39 > 0:26:42MUFFLED SPEECH

0:26:56 > 0:26:58I don't know what's wrong with me, Mum.

0:26:59 > 0:27:01I'm getting everything jumbled up.

0:27:02 > 0:27:05She's got a memory like a sieve.

0:27:05 > 0:27:08He wouldn't want you to remember him like this.

0:27:09 > 0:27:12Well, that's just life, Adam.

0:27:12 > 0:27:14ERNIE: This is supposed to be a happy memory.

0:27:25 > 0:27:27Jack!

0:27:29 > 0:27:31Mummy's going now.

0:27:33 > 0:27:36Oh, no, I don't want to.

0:27:43 > 0:27:44It's my fault.

0:27:44 > 0:27:47I just stepped out into the road. I wasn't looking.

0:27:48 > 0:27:52Erm, I managed to get the kid out but I couldn't get to her.

0:27:52 > 0:27:53Sorry.

0:27:58 > 0:27:59Come on, Jack.

0:28:13 > 0:28:16It's time, Christine.

0:28:22 > 0:28:25MUSIC: Time To Say Goodbye by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman

0:28:40 > 0:28:42Goodbye, everyone.

0:28:44 > 0:28:45I love you.

0:28:45 > 0:28:48# Quando sono solo sogno all'orizzonte

0:28:48 > 0:28:51# E mancan le parole

0:28:51 > 0:28:58# Time to say goodbye

0:29:00 > 0:29:07# Paesi che non ho mai

0:29:07 > 0:29:12# Veduto e vissuto con te

0:29:12 > 0:29:15# Adesso si li vivro

0:29:15 > 0:29:19# Con te partiro... #