Once Removed

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0:00:13 > 0:00:18This programme contains some strong language

0:00:25 > 0:00:28KNOCK ON DOOR

0:00:32 > 0:00:34- Yes?- Hello.

0:00:34 > 0:00:36Looking for a Mrs Falsham.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38Yes, that's me. What do you want?

0:00:38 > 0:00:40- Handle Me Gently.- Sorry?

0:00:40 > 0:00:44The removals company - Handle Me Gently. I'm Spike.

0:00:44 > 0:00:45We spoke on the phone?

0:00:45 > 0:00:47- That's right, yes.- Yes, right.

0:00:47 > 0:00:48So through here, is it?

0:00:48 > 0:00:50Yes, but we're not quite...

0:00:50 > 0:00:52No, no, this way.

0:00:52 > 0:00:55You're a bit of a mouthful, aren't you?

0:00:55 > 0:00:59- The name, I mean, of your company. - Oh, yes. It's my boss's idea.

0:00:59 > 0:01:01He wanted to call us Van Man Style

0:01:01 > 0:01:04but I managed to talk him out of that.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07- SHE GIGGLES - Funny.

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Well...

0:01:11 > 0:01:14..these are all the things I want to be moved, all of this,

0:01:14 > 0:01:16and, well, everything, really because that's what happens

0:01:16 > 0:01:19- when you move, isn't it? - That's the idea.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21Some people do leave a little something for the people

0:01:21 > 0:01:23that are moving in.

0:01:23 > 0:01:25- You got a buyer yet?- Not yet.

0:01:25 > 0:01:28Some people leave a bottle of champagne, you know.

0:01:28 > 0:01:29Lawn mower.

0:01:29 > 0:01:33I know a couple that found a cardboard box on the kitchen table.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35Inside the box was a paint pot.

0:01:35 > 0:01:37Inside the paint pot was a human turd.

0:01:37 > 0:01:40So, you know, people are funny, aren't they?

0:01:41 > 0:01:43What do we have here? This is breakables, is it?

0:01:43 > 0:01:46Yes, that's right. All...

0:01:47 > 0:01:49..broken.

0:01:50 > 0:01:53OK, I'm going to have to make a note of this.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55Of course.

0:01:55 > 0:01:57SHE WEEPS QUIETLY

0:01:57 > 0:01:59Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.

0:01:59 > 0:02:01No, it's all right, I'm just...

0:02:01 > 0:02:03It's all been a bit trying.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08It's one of the most stressful things, isn't it? Moving house.

0:02:08 > 0:02:12People often say that but, according to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale,

0:02:12 > 0:02:16the top three are - death of a spouse, divorce and imprisonment.

0:02:16 > 0:02:20- Moving home's only number 32. - Oh, well, that's something.

0:02:20 > 0:02:23And erectile dysfunction isn't even on the list.

0:02:23 > 0:02:25So I don't know what her problem is.

0:02:25 > 0:02:29I'm just getting it out there, you know, talking about it.

0:02:29 > 0:02:30It's no biggie.

0:02:30 > 0:02:32Evidently not.

0:02:33 > 0:02:36- So, lived here long, have you? - In this house? Yeah, yonks.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38Yonks and yonks.

0:02:38 > 0:02:41- How long is a yonk? Often wondered. - Yeah, that's a good question.

0:02:41 > 0:02:42I don't know actually.

0:02:42 > 0:02:46Oh, here's my husband, he might know. Darling, how long is a yonk?

0:02:46 > 0:02:48- A what?- A yonk.

0:02:49 > 0:02:52Sorry, this is Spike from Squeeze Me Tightly.

0:02:52 > 0:02:54- Handle Me Gently.- All right.

0:02:54 > 0:02:57He was wondering how long a yonk is?

0:02:57 > 0:02:59Er, it's short for donkey's years, isn't it?

0:02:59 > 0:03:01Yeah, that would make sense.

0:03:03 > 0:03:06Are you all ready to move house, darling?

0:03:06 > 0:03:08Well, the cakes are still in the oven

0:03:08 > 0:03:11so if Spike could come back another time.

0:03:11 > 0:03:14Yes, we're making cakes for whoever moves in. Aren't we?

0:03:14 > 0:03:18We decided against pooing in a paint pot.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20- What?- I'll show you out.

0:03:20 > 0:03:23Mrs Falsham, I don't think you understand.

0:03:23 > 0:03:25We work on allocations only.

0:03:25 > 0:03:27If I don't fill your slot today,

0:03:27 > 0:03:29it might be weeks before I can get up again.

0:03:29 > 0:03:33- Of course. Spike has erectile dysfunction.- Really?

0:03:34 > 0:03:36- I'm sorry, is there a problem here?- No!

0:03:36 > 0:03:38We're just a normal family moving house.

0:03:38 > 0:03:41- What's going on?- Oh, it's all right, Dad, go back to bed.

0:03:41 > 0:03:44I can't sleep my stomach's playing up.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47Why are you dressed like a tart?

0:03:48 > 0:03:50And what's Richard Stilgoe doing here?

0:03:50 > 0:03:53I'm not taking any of those lyrics, Stilgoe!

0:03:53 > 0:03:57So you can shove your roller skates up your arse, do you hear?!

0:03:57 > 0:04:00- He thinks he's Andrew Lloyd Webber. - MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:04:00 > 0:04:03- Wha...? What's that racket? - Sorry, it's my phone.

0:04:03 > 0:04:06- Come on, come with me. - Don't touch my penis!

0:04:06 > 0:04:08Did you see that, people?

0:04:08 > 0:04:11He's trying to play me like a cello!

0:04:11 > 0:04:13STOMACH GURGLES

0:04:13 > 0:04:15Oh, my God!

0:04:15 > 0:04:18- What's wrong? Are you OK? - I'll get a towel.

0:04:21 > 0:04:22Argh!

0:04:22 > 0:04:24SHE SCREAMS

0:04:24 > 0:04:26- Argh!- Jesus Christ!

0:04:31 > 0:04:33SQUELCHING

0:04:39 > 0:04:41I can explain.

0:05:10 > 0:05:12Ah, Julian, there you are.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14- You took your time.- Sorry.

0:05:14 > 0:05:16Couldn't find any cocoa, she's packed everything away.

0:05:16 > 0:05:19I hope she hasn't touched my bloody piano.

0:05:19 > 0:05:20I didn't see it.

0:05:21 > 0:05:24- Why aren't you wearing any clothes? - I've just been doing some painting.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27Here.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29Oh, God! It's too hot!

0:05:29 > 0:05:31My mouth is not asbestos, you know.

0:05:32 > 0:05:35- Sorry.- Ooh, I had a good bit of news this morning.

0:05:36 > 0:05:39Roger has agreed to do Aspects.

0:05:39 > 0:05:41- Roger?- Roger Moore.

0:05:42 > 0:05:44James Bond in one of my musicals.

0:05:44 > 0:05:45How about that then? Hm?

0:05:45 > 0:05:47HE CHUCKLES

0:05:47 > 0:05:50I hope he can sing.

0:05:50 > 0:05:52That's great news.

0:05:52 > 0:05:55Well, tell your face.

0:05:55 > 0:05:57What's the matter with you?

0:05:57 > 0:05:59Sorry, it's been a long day.

0:06:00 > 0:06:02Have your cocoa.

0:06:09 > 0:06:11You're my son, aren't you?

0:06:12 > 0:06:14You're not Julian Lloyd Webber at all.

0:06:17 > 0:06:18That's right.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20And I have a daughter, don't I?

0:06:20 > 0:06:22Yes.

0:06:22 > 0:06:24That's good.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28Well, you two must look after each other.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30- I won't be here forever, you know.- I know.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34Don't worry, Dad. Have your cocoa.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36It'll be cooler now.

0:06:39 > 0:06:40DOORBELL

0:06:40 > 0:06:42What now?

0:06:42 > 0:06:45If that's Julie Covington, tell her it's too late.

0:06:45 > 0:06:48I've already offered the part to Elaine Paige.

0:06:58 > 0:06:59Sorry.

0:07:00 > 0:07:02Not interrupting anything, am I?

0:07:02 > 0:07:04No, no. I was just upstairs with Dad.

0:07:04 > 0:07:07- Andrew Lloyd Webber?- Yes.- Bless him.

0:07:07 > 0:07:10He's really far gone now, isn't he?

0:07:10 > 0:07:12Yes, yes. He's got no memory.

0:07:12 > 0:07:15- Other than the one from Cats! - Exactly.

0:07:17 > 0:07:21Is Natasha in? I'm a good friend of hers, I live just down the lane.

0:07:21 > 0:07:23No, she's not here at the moment.

0:07:23 > 0:07:26- She's just picking up the removal man.- Oh, I see.

0:07:27 > 0:07:30Does he not have his own transport?

0:07:30 > 0:07:32The removal man?

0:07:32 > 0:07:34Yes, yes. He's just got lost.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36I was going to say. It would be quite a slow move!

0:07:40 > 0:07:43Natasha's been talking a lot about you, the mystery man.

0:07:44 > 0:07:48- All good I hope.- Yes. She seems very much in love.

0:07:50 > 0:07:51I hope you'll take good care of her.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53I will.

0:07:55 > 0:07:59Anyway, I don't want to keep you. I only popped round to return this.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02- You know what she's like about people borrowing things.- Yes.

0:08:02 > 0:08:05She didn't speak to Mrs Granger from months over that quiche plate.

0:08:05 > 0:08:06So I believe.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09SHOUTING

0:08:09 > 0:08:10I'd better...

0:08:11 > 0:08:13Wait there.

0:08:21 > 0:08:26- What's wrong?- It's that bloody cocoa. It doesn't agree with me.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28Just try to keep your voice down.

0:08:28 > 0:08:32I haven't felt this bad since the press night of Love Never Dies.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38Shit.

0:08:49 > 0:08:51Looks like the removal van.

0:08:51 > 0:08:54Listen to me bitch, you do exactly as I say.

0:09:09 > 0:09:10Hello? Anybody in?

0:09:10 > 0:09:12Sorry I'm late.

0:09:19 > 0:09:21Hi. Hugo Brevington JSQ.

0:09:21 > 0:09:24I had a message from the lady of the house saying she was going to let you in.

0:09:24 > 0:09:27- That's right, yes. - Well, here are the property deeds.

0:09:27 > 0:09:30You can peruse these at your leisure as and when.

0:09:30 > 0:09:32Headlines are, four-bed farmhouse.

0:09:32 > 0:09:35Two outbuildings with planning pending.

0:09:35 > 0:09:38Country kitchen with a five-door Aga. Period features.

0:09:38 > 0:09:40- Don't know if you're arsed. - Not really.- No, me neither.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42Obviously in need of a lick of paint.

0:09:42 > 0:09:44You can see they've made a start already,

0:09:44 > 0:09:47but, to be perfectly honest with you, it will be sold before that's dry.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50Is your wife able to view today? I'd strongly recommend it.

0:09:50 > 0:09:52She's actually looking at some other properties at the moment.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55- Which ones?- Not Pennington Lane?

0:09:55 > 0:09:56It's sinking.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59It'll be a basement in two years, but you didn't hear it from me.

0:09:59 > 0:10:02So have we got the deal? Are we rocking?

0:10:02 > 0:10:05- Well, I haven't really looked around it yet.- Absolutely. Be my guest.

0:10:05 > 0:10:08Any questions, don't hesitate. I will leave you alone.

0:10:09 > 0:10:11Thanks.

0:10:19 > 0:10:20Storage.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Lovely door action there.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40No lock. Very free and easy.

0:10:42 > 0:10:45Imagine coming down those stairs every morning.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47Cup of coffee. Dog padding through with the paper.

0:10:48 > 0:10:50Wife, smell of bacon.

0:10:50 > 0:10:52Cooking it, she doesn't smell of it.

0:10:52 > 0:10:55- I'm vegetarian.- Me too. Good call, we will live longer my friend.

0:10:55 > 0:10:57Let them choke on their sausages, eh?

0:10:58 > 0:11:00Well... Thanks very much.

0:11:00 > 0:11:03One second. I've got the call coming through.

0:11:03 > 0:11:05Hello.

0:11:05 > 0:11:07Really? That is very interesting,

0:11:07 > 0:11:10because I've got a gentleman here at the property at the moment.

0:11:10 > 0:11:13Well, let me relay that to him.

0:11:13 > 0:11:15What's happened is, someone's put an offer in.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18Not asking price but close to, and the vendor is considering it.

0:11:18 > 0:11:22Now, we have a window of five minutes if you want to secure this...

0:11:22 > 0:11:23MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:11:25 > 0:11:28That's weird. I was just talking to someone. What's happened there then?

0:11:28 > 0:11:30Hello?

0:11:30 > 0:11:31Hi, Mum.

0:11:31 > 0:11:33I can't talk right now. I'm with a client.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38Anything. I'm not fussed.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40All right, then, biryani. Stop...

0:11:40 > 0:11:42I don't know. Lamb.

0:11:43 > 0:11:46I've got to go. I'll speak to you later, OK. Bye.

0:11:47 > 0:11:50So like I say, it's deal or no deal.

0:11:50 > 0:11:52- I'll think about it.- Please.

0:11:53 > 0:11:55Please, I need this sale.

0:11:55 > 0:11:58I just need to get something up on the board, that's all.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01Get over this dry patch. How about it? I feel like we've connected.

0:12:01 > 0:12:04- I mean, for fuck's sake, a five-door Aga.- OK.

0:12:05 > 0:12:09- What?- OK, I'll buy it. What's the asking price?- 860.- Fine.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11I'll go and speak to my mortgage provider.

0:12:14 > 0:12:17You have saved a man's life today. You will not regret this.

0:12:17 > 0:12:20And as a thank-you gesture, I have permission from the vendor

0:12:20 > 0:12:23to throw in all these items of furniture.

0:12:24 > 0:12:28- Well, that's not... - I think you just lost this sale.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16Argh!

0:13:31 > 0:13:34- Come out of there! - No, leave me alone.

0:13:35 > 0:13:36Listen up.

0:13:36 > 0:13:39- I just want to talk to. - I don't believe you.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43You killed Mrs Falsham.

0:13:43 > 0:13:46Do you have any idea how that's going to affect the asking price?

0:13:46 > 0:13:47Look, Hugo.

0:13:48 > 0:13:52There's no lock on this door. You just told me that.

0:13:53 > 0:13:54Please.

0:13:54 > 0:13:57Let me go home.

0:13:57 > 0:13:59My mum's ordered me biryani.

0:13:59 > 0:14:01Come out, then!

0:14:05 > 0:14:08I'm not going to hurt you. I promise.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46Hello! Sarah? Water's getting cold!

0:15:46 > 0:15:48Not another one.

0:15:56 > 0:15:57Sarah?

0:15:59 > 0:16:01Is that you?

0:16:13 > 0:16:15Well, well, well.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17If it isn't the great Julian Lloyd Webber

0:16:17 > 0:16:19come to see his older brother.

0:16:19 > 0:16:23Now look. I've already given you the theme to the South Bank Show.

0:16:23 > 0:16:27- That's all you're going to get out of me.- Who the fuck are you?

0:16:27 > 0:16:30You know damn well who I am, Julian.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33Come on now. Help me out of this bath.

0:16:34 > 0:16:36All right. Fine.

0:16:36 > 0:16:39And then I'll make you a nice cup of cocoa.

0:16:39 > 0:16:40Warm you up.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52Are you in yet, Daddy?

0:16:52 > 0:16:54All right, all right, don't rush me.

0:16:54 > 0:16:57Just let me know when everything's under the bubbles.

0:16:57 > 0:16:58Oh, good grief.

0:17:00 > 0:17:02That reminds me, I must get some sun-dried tomatoes.

0:17:03 > 0:17:07- Now, is there anything else I can do for you?- No, thank you.

0:17:07 > 0:17:09- I am not an invalid.- Right.

0:17:09 > 0:17:12Well, I'm going down to finish the packing.

0:17:12 > 0:17:15You remember we're moving the furniture today.

0:17:15 > 0:17:17What bloody furniture?

0:17:17 > 0:17:19Who are you anyway?

0:17:19 > 0:17:22I'm Natasha, Daddy. I'm your daughter.

0:17:22 > 0:17:26Don't be ridiculous! You're far too old to be my daughter.

0:17:27 > 0:17:30You better get out of here before Sarah gets back.

0:17:30 > 0:17:33- She's auditioning for Hot Gossip today.- Daddy, listen.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39I know you won't understand but I have to tell you something.

0:17:40 > 0:17:43Charles and I are moving to Portugal.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45You remember Portugal?

0:17:45 > 0:17:48We had that holiday there when I was a girl.

0:17:48 > 0:17:50Yes, yes. Albufeira.

0:17:50 > 0:17:53That's right. Well...

0:17:54 > 0:17:56We need to get away.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58Make a fresh start.

0:17:59 > 0:18:03We've found a lovely home for you not far from here.

0:18:03 > 0:18:05There's lots of people there with your....

0:18:05 > 0:18:06Well...

0:18:06 > 0:18:08Who I'm sure you'll get on with.

0:18:08 > 0:18:12I won't share a room with Tim Rice.

0:18:12 > 0:18:14No, you get your own room.

0:18:14 > 0:18:17The problem is, I won't be able to contact you.

0:18:18 > 0:18:20That's the deal.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22Because Charles and I...

0:18:24 > 0:18:29Well, let's just say it'll be better all-round if we disappeared.

0:18:31 > 0:18:32Right.

0:18:33 > 0:18:35Have you finished?

0:18:36 > 0:18:39- Yes.- Oh, good. Go on, get out.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43Close every door to me.

0:18:52 > 0:18:54Hugo, it's Natasha.

0:18:54 > 0:18:57I'm just checking you're your way over for the viewing.

0:18:57 > 0:19:00Like I say, I've got someone who's very interested.

0:19:00 > 0:19:02I'll let them in if they get here before you.

0:19:02 > 0:19:04And I hope you don't think I'm being patronising,

0:19:04 > 0:19:07but please try not to appear so desperate.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09It's very off-putting.

0:19:09 > 0:19:13You were sweating so much last time you looked like Lee Evans at the O2.

0:19:13 > 0:19:15Anyway, I'll see you shortly.

0:19:15 > 0:19:18And just so you know, my father's in the upstairs bathroom,

0:19:18 > 0:19:22so you might want to warn them about the whole Andrew Lloyd Webber thing.

0:19:22 > 0:19:24OK, bye.

0:20:09 > 0:20:12Oh, good. You've made a start. Spike, isn't it?

0:20:14 > 0:20:18- Erm...- You're Spike from Handle Me Gently? We spoke on the phone.

0:20:19 > 0:20:21- That's right, we did.- Good.

0:20:21 > 0:20:24So I've managed to fill most of these boxes

0:20:24 > 0:20:26but there are a few more breakables to go in.

0:20:26 > 0:20:29- You can bubble wrap them, can't you?- Yes.- Very good.

0:20:31 > 0:20:32Can I take your jacket?

0:20:39 > 0:20:42- Would you like a cut of tea? - No, thank you.

0:20:42 > 0:20:44So you live here?

0:20:44 > 0:20:46This is your house?

0:20:46 > 0:20:50Yes. Though, not for much longer. Obviously.

0:20:50 > 0:20:51It can get quite isolated.

0:20:51 > 0:20:55But I've been very lucky with my neighbours.

0:20:55 > 0:20:56That's good.

0:20:58 > 0:21:01So do you enjoy doing removals?

0:21:01 > 0:21:04I wouldn't say I enjoy it but...

0:21:04 > 0:21:06Thanks.

0:21:06 > 0:21:09- ..someone's got to do it, haven't they?- Yes.

0:21:09 > 0:21:11I'd hate to do it on my own.

0:21:11 > 0:21:14I just try to make it as painless as possible.

0:21:16 > 0:21:18For everyone involved.

0:21:18 > 0:21:21- I meant to ask you, do you do disposals as well?- Can do.

0:21:21 > 0:21:23Because I'm not taking the tumble drier

0:21:23 > 0:21:25so it'll need driving to the tip.

0:21:26 > 0:21:29I'll take care of everything. There won't be any loose ends.

0:21:29 > 0:21:33- What a professional young man you are.- I do try.

0:21:37 > 0:21:38Argh!

0:21:40 > 0:21:44Oh, no. Have you burned yourself? Agas are terrible for that.

0:21:44 > 0:21:46Here, run it under the tap.

0:21:48 > 0:21:51- Argh.- I can get you some anti-septic cream.

0:21:51 > 0:21:53- No, it's all right. I'll use this. - Honestly, it's no bother.

0:21:53 > 0:21:56I have to keep my medical box handy

0:21:56 > 0:21:59as I've an elderly father who's very accident prone.

0:22:01 > 0:22:04In another life I could have been a nurse.

0:22:05 > 0:22:09There's something very satisfying about taking care of people.

0:22:09 > 0:22:11- Don't you think?- Absolutely.

0:22:44 > 0:22:46Hello? Anybody in?

0:22:47 > 0:22:49Sorry I'm late.

0:23:15 > 0:23:17Sod it.

0:23:21 > 0:23:23DOORBELL

0:23:37 > 0:23:41May. What are you doing here? I thought you had to stay in today.

0:23:41 > 0:23:44I know. I'm sorry but I need to talk to someone or I'll go mad.

0:23:44 > 0:23:47- Of course. Come in.- Thanks.

0:23:47 > 0:23:50I know you're busy with the move and your dad and everything.

0:23:50 > 0:23:52It's all right. Come through.

0:23:56 > 0:23:58So what's happened?

0:24:00 > 0:24:02It's Charles. I think he's having an affair.

0:24:04 > 0:24:05Charles?

0:24:05 > 0:24:07Yes.

0:24:07 > 0:24:10I bought him some cufflinks for his birthday.

0:24:10 > 0:24:12I can't even remember when it is now.

0:24:12 > 0:24:15- What?- Charles's birthday.

0:24:15 > 0:24:16It's May, isn't it?

0:24:16 > 0:24:18That's right.

0:24:18 > 0:24:21So I wrapped them up and hid them in one of the drawers

0:24:21 > 0:24:24of the utility room and that's when I found this.

0:24:29 > 0:24:31"She knows about our affair."

0:24:32 > 0:24:34Well, that doesn't prove anything.

0:24:34 > 0:24:36But he's been behaving so strangely,

0:24:36 > 0:24:38it makes perfect sense.

0:24:38 > 0:24:40All those conferences in Dusseldorf,

0:24:40 > 0:24:43he never once brought me back a bratwurst.

0:24:43 > 0:24:46Look, darling, you can't be worrying about sausages.

0:24:46 > 0:24:50I'm sure there's a perfectly innocent explanation.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52And this isn't even Charles's handwriting.

0:24:52 > 0:24:54How do you know?

0:24:54 > 0:24:56I can tell.

0:24:56 > 0:24:58Just from the birthday and Christmas cards he's written me

0:24:58 > 0:25:00over the years.

0:25:00 > 0:25:01I didn't think of that.

0:25:01 > 0:25:04And if you're that worried about it,

0:25:04 > 0:25:05ask him about it tonight

0:25:05 > 0:25:07when he gets home from work.

0:25:07 > 0:25:09You mustn't bottle it up,

0:25:09 > 0:25:11that's the worst thing you can do.

0:25:11 > 0:25:12Thanks, Natasha.

0:25:14 > 0:25:16You're such a dear friend.

0:25:16 > 0:25:18I don't know what I'd do without you.

0:25:19 > 0:25:22Now, come on, you should get back home.

0:25:22 > 0:25:24I'd hate for you to miss that package.

0:25:24 > 0:25:27You're right. It's probably my overactive imagination.

0:25:28 > 0:25:31Sarah! These pyjamas are leaking again.

0:25:31 > 0:25:33I think we should send them back.

0:25:33 > 0:25:36Look, I've got to go. I'll need to put him in the bath.

0:25:36 > 0:25:37Of course, you go.

0:25:37 > 0:25:38I'll let myself out.

0:25:40 > 0:25:41Thanks.

0:25:41 > 0:25:43Goodbye, May.

0:25:59 > 0:26:00Of course, you go.

0:26:00 > 0:26:01I'll let myself out.

0:26:17 > 0:26:19Hello?

0:26:19 > 0:26:21Charles?

0:26:21 > 0:26:23Why are you calling from the landline?

0:26:23 > 0:26:25I told you not to use it.

0:26:25 > 0:26:26Is everything all right?

0:26:28 > 0:26:30It's May, isn't it?

0:26:30 > 0:26:31What about May?

0:26:31 > 0:26:33She's not been round, has she?

0:26:33 > 0:26:35I told her she had to stay in for a delivery.

0:26:37 > 0:26:39She knows about our affair.

0:26:39 > 0:26:42Why? What did you say?

0:26:42 > 0:26:44Natasha, are you still there, darling?

0:26:44 > 0:26:46Tell me what she said.

0:26:46 > 0:26:47Natasha!

0:26:49 > 0:26:51Look, darling, you can't be worrying about sausages.

0:26:51 > 0:26:54What? What are you talking about?

0:26:54 > 0:26:58Listen, I know this is stressful but we just have to hold our nerve.

0:26:58 > 0:27:01In about half an hour she'll be out of our lives for good.

0:27:01 > 0:27:04The man I'm using is very professional.

0:27:04 > 0:27:06He comes highly recommended.

0:27:06 > 0:27:09You just make sure you're with your estate agent so you've got an alibi

0:27:09 > 0:27:12and when the police come round and say there's been a murder,

0:27:12 > 0:27:14you can prove exactly where you were.

0:27:14 > 0:27:15Look, I'm going to go.

0:27:15 > 0:27:18I'm in a meeting. I love you.

0:27:18 > 0:27:21I'll see you in Portugal.

0:27:21 > 0:27:22Natasha?

0:27:24 > 0:27:25Goodbye, May.

0:27:25 > 0:27:26What?