0:00:02 > 0:00:10This programme contains adult humour and strong language.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05I'll never forget my time here as a Hillford girl.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08It's so wonderful to be back. Thank you.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15As school captain of Hillford,
0:01:15 > 0:01:18I'd like to thank Mrs Dorothy Watson and Mrs Iris McKenna
0:01:18 > 0:01:20for coming to talk to us today
0:01:20 > 0:01:23as part of our centenary celebrations.
0:01:23 > 0:01:24Wow, Iris.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28To meet the oldest surviving Hillford girl is a privilege.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31I'd now like to introduce to the stage
0:01:31 > 0:01:34my Year 12 prefects, wearing the uniforms
0:01:34 > 0:01:36of the last 100 years of Hillford.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39From Morgan, in the uniform of yesteryear,
0:01:39 > 0:01:41all the way through to me,
0:01:41 > 0:01:44wearing the familiar uniform of today.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46We would now like to thank the ladies
0:01:46 > 0:01:49by showing them our dance presentation
0:01:49 > 0:01:51that we prepared especially for them.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
0:02:00 > 0:02:02# I see you staring
0:02:02 > 0:02:04# What you wearing?
0:02:04 > 0:02:07# Gucci, Chanel It don't matter, you're amazing... #
0:02:08 > 0:02:10'Hi. My name's Ja'mie.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12'I used to be Jamie,
0:02:12 > 0:02:14'but I added the apostrophe in Year 8.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17'I'm 17 years old. I live in Sydney, Australia,
0:02:17 > 0:02:19'and I'm a private school girl.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22'This series is about my last few months of school
0:02:22 > 0:02:25'and the events that changed my life forever.'
0:02:29 > 0:02:32We're the most expensive girls' school in the state.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34- The MOST expensive?- Yeah. We are.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37It is. We are, definitely. It's really expensive.
0:02:37 > 0:02:38And we top the state academically as well.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Yeah, that's cos of the Asian factor.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42- Yeah.- They're on scholarships. - There's so many Asians.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Hillford's pretty much known for having the hottest girls in Sydney.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47- Yeah. Yeah. - It's like a known thing.
0:02:47 > 0:02:48Like, if you go to Hillford,
0:02:48 > 0:02:50people are like, "Oh, my God, you must be so hot."
0:02:50 > 0:02:52I'm not even bragging, but me and my friends
0:02:52 > 0:02:54are all pretty much quiche.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Like, if you couldn't tell from looking at us.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58And if you don't know, "quiche" is a word that I made up.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02It basically means hot, but, like, it's a step above hot.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05- It's, like, more than just hot. - I'd say basically quiche is hot
0:03:05 > 0:03:07to the point where you want to have sex with them.
0:03:07 > 0:03:08Oh, yeah. Like rootable.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Like there's hot and then there's quiche.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13One of the main measures of quicheness is your box gap.
0:03:13 > 0:03:14Box gap, yeah.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Basically what it is, like, if maybe you could pop up, Immy...
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Yeah, you've got the best box gap.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21Like, you don't want the thighs to touch at all.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23So you want sort of like at least a three-finger.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25- And I'll just demonstrate by... - The more, the better.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27If you've got your thighs rubbing together from fat,
0:03:27 > 0:03:30then you need to think about what you're eating...
0:03:30 > 0:03:32- Yeah.- ..or just accept the fact you're never going to be quiche.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34We should do a mega-sleepover at my house.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37- 'Ja'mie's like our leader. - And we're all prefects.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39'That's kind of what brought us together this year.
0:03:39 > 0:03:40'Like, we're all BFFs.'
0:03:40 > 0:03:41I had different friends last year
0:03:41 > 0:03:44but I had to get rid of them because Brianna, my bestie, was like...
0:03:44 > 0:03:48She kind of got really weird and fat. She's kind of indie now.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Yeah. Like, she's got...
0:03:49 > 0:03:52But like I'm still really nice if I see them around the playgrounds.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55- Hi, Ja'mie.- Hi.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57Oh, my God. Awkies.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01'I think sometimes it's better just to kind of let your friends go.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03- 'You need to move on. - Just move on.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05'I'm the school captain,
0:04:05 > 0:04:07'so I'm like the boss of the whole school.'
0:04:07 > 0:04:08And this is my team, my prefects.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11- We're family.- Say "hi."
0:04:11 > 0:04:13OK, guys, let's set up here.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15'So every morning we do gate duty.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18'So we have the ability to give out Friday detentions.'
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Phone off and in your locker - you're on school grounds.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Write her name down. What's her name?
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Three warnings and you get a Friday.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27No wristbands in school.
0:04:27 > 0:04:28No coffee on school grounds.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33'I feel like a lot of the younger girls
0:04:33 > 0:04:34'really look up to us, though.'
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Get your mum to sort that out, Celeste.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38I've spoken to you before about this.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40- Get that pink shit off your bag. - Take it off.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42'This is the prefect room.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45'So this is, like, the room where us as prefects chill out.
0:04:45 > 0:04:46'It's a prefect-only zone.'
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Excuse me, can you get away from the prefect room entrance?
0:04:49 > 0:04:50Move...away from the entrance.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53'I mean, being in Year 12, it's such a stressful year.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56'We've got a mat and stuff, and we do yoga some mornings.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58- 'And just, like, chill. - It's really good.'
0:04:58 > 0:05:00I can't believe I've got a whole day ahead of me.
0:05:00 > 0:05:01Did the cleaners vacuum this or not?
0:05:01 > 0:05:03There's something about being a prefect that feels really good.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06- Yeah.- Like, I always knew that I wanted to be one.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Same. Totes. I definitely knew I was going to be one
0:05:08 > 0:05:10from, like, Year 7.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12And we all have the prefect promise that Ja'mie made up.
0:05:12 > 0:05:13Yeah, the prefect promise.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16Basically, the prefect promise is like a promise
0:05:16 > 0:05:17that we'll all, like, stick together
0:05:17 > 0:05:19as prefects, no matter what happens.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Like a family.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23- Like, any bad stuff that goes down, then...- Yeah.
0:05:23 > 0:05:24We'll be there for each other.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26For example, like, if one of us got depression
0:05:26 > 0:05:28and wanted to like kill themselves,
0:05:28 > 0:05:30then we...as part of the prefect promise,
0:05:30 > 0:05:32we'd probably all kill ourselves.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35- Yeah. - I didn't know it was THAT extreme.
0:05:35 > 0:05:36- No, it is.- Yeah, it is.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Have a good first period, everyone. I'm going to miss you guys.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42- I love you, Ja'mie, so much. - Have the best time in English.
0:05:42 > 0:05:43I'm the leader.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47Well, I'm sort of like the mother hen of the group, you could say.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Like, I have to look after my little chickens.
0:05:50 > 0:05:51Send me anything.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53- Send me selfies. Just whatevs. - Any gossip.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Snapchat me. All of you, I fucking love you.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57- I love you, Ja'mie! - I fucking love you.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59- I miss you guys already.- Bye.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02I love all of you. What I'm seeing now, I fucking love.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04See you at recess.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06- I love you.- The usual spot.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08- Bye.- Oh, my God.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10ILY!
0:06:12 > 0:06:13Love you.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16Maddie, I'm really sad already.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19- Aww. I don't want to go. - I can't go.
0:06:19 > 0:06:24- I fucking love you.- Oh, my God. You're my best friend.
0:06:24 > 0:06:25Yeah, I'm being an idiot.
0:06:25 > 0:06:29- I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. - OK.- It's all right.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- Oh, God.- Totes. - Bye. Text me any goss.
0:06:32 > 0:06:36- Bye.- We love you.- I really love you. Seriously.- Bye!
0:06:36 > 0:06:38- Ja'mie's, like, an all-rounder. - Basically she's good at everything.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41- Yeah.- I don't think there's any other way to put it.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Guilty!
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Yeah, I've got the most Facebook friends in the whole school. Yay.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49- Yeah, look at her blazer. - I know, right?
0:06:49 > 0:06:51'But, yeah, I know I'm good at a lot of stuff.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53'I'm good at sport.'
0:06:53 > 0:06:55When I say "faster," I don't mean knock me out of the fucking boat.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57'I'm creatively amazing.'
0:06:57 > 0:06:58It feels really balanced now.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02'The performing arts. I'm really good at the performing arts.'
0:07:02 > 0:07:04I love it here. I really, really love it here.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06I'm basically...what I like to say, cos my name's Ja'mie
0:07:06 > 0:07:08I like to say I'm Ja'mazing.
0:07:08 > 0:07:12- And Ja'mie's so caring and giving. - Seriously.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Yeah. I'm really caring.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18'Like, I'm really good at raising money for the less fortunate.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20'You know, like, we go around the playground quite a lot
0:07:20 > 0:07:22'and I sort of have an ability to be able
0:07:22 > 0:07:24'to, like, get money out of people.'
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Fuck off! This is for charity.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28If I see someone in need, I want to give back to them,
0:07:28 > 0:07:29- if you know what I mean? - That's such a good quality.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32'It's a charity thing. I'm going out to the Western Suburbs,
0:07:32 > 0:07:35'this really povo area where these African immigrants live,
0:07:35 > 0:07:37'and it's really cute.'
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Hi, everyone. Hi.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41'Basically I read to them and I just chill with them
0:07:41 > 0:07:44'and hang out, play basketball.
0:07:44 > 0:07:45'Whatever's going.'
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Try and stop me. Come on, come on.
0:07:47 > 0:07:48Oh, soz.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51'And there's some really quiche boys there too.'
0:07:51 > 0:07:52Cheese.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54'Like they're really povo, but they sort of look really fit.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56'And kind of have hard abs.
0:07:56 > 0:07:57'Because they're not eating much.'
0:07:59 > 0:08:02- Oh, my God. So cute.- So cute!
0:08:02 > 0:08:04This is the Hillford Medallists honour board.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06And basically what it is...
0:08:06 > 0:08:09It's all the girls that have won the Hillford Medal
0:08:09 > 0:08:10for the last 100 years.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12And that's...it's this really prestigious award
0:08:12 > 0:08:15that they give out to, like, the most amazing girl from Year 12
0:08:15 > 0:08:17of that year and stuff.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19You've got to be good at everything.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21And this is the girl that won it last year. She's not even that hot.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Yeah, but you're definitely going to win the Hillford Medal this year.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26- Like, it's just...- I probably will.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Like, seriously, who else are they going to give it to?
0:08:28 > 0:08:31- They wouldn't give it to anyone else.- No.- That's the thing.
0:08:31 > 0:08:32Imagine me in this frame, guys.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34- It looks so right.- Oh, my God.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37- Ja'mie.- I totes nearly smashed it.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40I am so random. I can't believe I just did that. Sorry.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42So this is the new Centenary Centre.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44It's, like, amazing art classrooms and stuff.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46- It's really cool. - And see this thing?
0:08:46 > 0:08:49They're getting this sculpture thing out the front.
0:08:49 > 0:08:50They're getting this really famous sculpture guy to do it.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53And it sort of represents the ultimate Hillford girl.
0:08:53 > 0:08:54- Yeah.- It's going to be really cool.
0:08:54 > 0:08:55And Ms Welham announced the other day
0:08:55 > 0:08:57that the Hillford Medal winner is going to be the girl
0:08:57 > 0:08:59that's in the sculpture.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02- Oh, my God. You're going to look so good in bronze.- I know.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03- I know!- Oh, my God.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05I've got to work out what pose I'm going to do.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Cos, like, it kind of lasts forever
0:09:07 > 0:09:09and it's going to, like... I'm thinking maybe...
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Like, I don't want to do that, like, walking thing.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13- No, yeah.- I want to sort of... - Do your leg out.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15What about my hands kind of back a bit like that?
0:09:15 > 0:09:19- Maybe one on the hip? - Yeah, maybe one on the hip?
0:09:19 > 0:09:22- Yeah.- That in bronze will be fucking amazing.- Yeah.- Seriously.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Thank you, Hillford!
0:09:44 > 0:09:46APPLAUSE
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Oh, my God.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Seriously, like, I so am praying that someone videoed it.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52I think I saw Hannah... she had her phone up.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Oh, my God, what about when you did the slut drop?
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Seriously, I turned around and you were grinding the floor.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00Girls, girls. I saw the dance. I reckon the gesture's great,
0:10:00 > 0:10:01but we've got to be careful
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- that in delivery there's nothing inappropriate.- There wasn't.
0:10:04 > 0:10:08The first place we start is with uniforms. I want them done up now.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11There is to be no undergarments seen at any time.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14- Buttons done up. - You can't even see anything.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16OK, and the other thing... Excuse me.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18The other thing is we need to get rid
0:10:18 > 0:10:20of some of those more risque dance movements.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Yeah, but, Sir, they were totally into it.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24- Those women loved it.- They loved it.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Those dance moves are OK for things like schoolies.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Do you know how much work we put into that dance, Sir?
0:10:28 > 0:10:30- I don't think you do. - I can see that.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32That's not the issue.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35The issue is the way in which you represent the school.
0:10:35 > 0:10:36They loved it.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39You are young women representing Hillford Girls Grammar.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41- Yeah.- And I'm not here to negotiate what goes on.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45There is a line, and we mustn't cross it in the future.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47- All right.- We clear on that? ALL: Yes.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50- Sorry, Sir.- All right, girls. Off to class. Quick. Let's go.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52We won't do it again, Sir.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54- Make sure you don't.- We won't.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56- Bye, Sir.- Bye, Sir. - Oh, my fucking God.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59What was that? Seriously, why are you even looking at my bra?
0:10:59 > 0:11:02Obviously his wife's not giving him what he wants.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05It's like, "Seriously, why are you looking at my tits?" It's so awkies.
0:11:05 > 0:11:06It's like, "You're 60."
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Immy, I saw your new DP.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24It's so quiche. Did you take that in Chem?
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Madison, did you realise your Facebook status is "I love pussy"?
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Guys! Cray clouds. I'm gramming.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- We should do a groupie.- Yay!
0:11:33 > 0:11:35- Morgan, take it.- Oh, OK.
0:11:35 > 0:11:36Three, two, one.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38'Well, at school I'm pretty much friends with everyone.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40'Like, everyone thinks I'm really nice.'
0:11:40 > 0:11:42I'm getting in a photo of the Asians.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45'And I think, as school captain, that's a really good thing
0:11:45 > 0:11:48'for me to be the ambassador of, like, niceness.'
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Hello. Hello.
0:11:51 > 0:11:52Oh, my God.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55I'm going to gram it and I'm going to hashtag fried rice.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00- They're right there. They cab hear you!- I'm so random, but YOLO.
0:12:00 > 0:12:01Ja'mie, stop it!
0:12:03 > 0:12:05'Like, I've got my BFFs,
0:12:05 > 0:12:08'but, like, I'm nice to pretty much everyone in school.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10'Except the Boarders.'
0:12:10 > 0:12:13Hi, Lauren. Hi, Boarders.
0:12:13 > 0:12:17How you going? How's the boarding house?
0:12:17 > 0:12:21Looks fun. You guys got changed really quickly.
0:12:21 > 0:12:22I like how you just get into the school jerseys
0:12:22 > 0:12:24straight after school.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26'The Boarders are these girls, right, they live at the school,
0:12:26 > 0:12:28'and they're from, like, farms and stuff.'
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Like, they're rich, but they're, like, really kind of rural.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33And all of them are pretty much lesbians.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35So, guys, what are you having for dinner tonight?
0:12:35 > 0:12:39- Lesbianese food or...? - Ja'mie, you're so funny.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41So is it true that you guys are all vagitarians?
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Oh, my God. That is so mean.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46- Oh, my God, how fat is Erin? - Disgusting.
0:12:46 > 0:12:47Seriously, she's put on so much weight.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50- Put down the fucking fork. - It's fucking ridiculous.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52It's like someone's, like, pumped her up or something.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53She looks like...
0:12:53 > 0:12:56Hey, Erin, have you lost weight lately? You look really good.
0:12:56 > 0:13:00Do you need a tampon, Ja'mie? Cos you're being a fucking bitch.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02- Why? Do you want to stick it in me? - Heavy.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04'I don't even know why I don't like them.'
0:13:04 > 0:13:07They're just really annoying, you know what I mean?
0:13:07 > 0:13:09They're sort of, like, fat and weird and...
0:13:09 > 0:13:11They have stupid haircuts.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13'You know, it's like... you're a girl, act like one.'
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Hey, Boarders... like, you know on farms,
0:13:16 > 0:13:18do you have to have a licence to drive a tractor?
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Like, I seriously want to know.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23Do you have tiny tits for any particular reason, Ja'mie?
0:13:23 > 0:13:27First of all, why the fuck are you looking at my tits anyway?
0:13:27 > 0:13:29More proof that you're a lesbian.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32And secondly, shut the fuck up or I'll give you a Friday detention.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Don't ever bag Ja'mie's tits.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Yeah, the reason they're small is cos I had an eating disorder.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38So it's not exactly a laughing matter, OK?
0:13:38 > 0:13:41- Aaw, Ja'mie! - So go fucking fist yourself.
0:13:41 > 0:13:42All right, horse-face. I will.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Fucking bitch. Give me that thing.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46- Take it. Take it.- Fucking slut!
0:13:47 > 0:13:50- Fucking bitch. - Ja'mie, Ja'mie, Miss Elliott.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53You've got a Friday, by the way. I'm writing it up.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56- Jamie, what's going on here? - Miss Elliott.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58Hi, Miss. The Year 7s are throwing food and stuff.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Sorry. Don't worry, I'll sort it out. I'll get them to clean it up.
0:14:01 > 0:14:02- All right.- See you, Miss.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04- Oh, my God.- Year 7s, get up.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08Go and fucking clean up the milk. And don't throw food around.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09Pick it up. Hurry up.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13- Oh, my God, that was so sick. - See you, Lauren.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Enjoy checking out my ass as I walk away.
0:14:17 > 0:14:18Oh, my God.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28'Well, after school, like, if we don't have sport of whatever,
0:14:28 > 0:14:30'then we usually go to the bus stop.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32'That's, like, the place to go. It's just down the road
0:14:32 > 0:14:33'at the front of Kelton Boys Grammar.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36'And me and the girls, we know heaps of Kelton guys,
0:14:36 > 0:14:38'so, like, it's just really good to chill.'
0:14:38 > 0:14:40News, goss, go.
0:14:40 > 0:14:41Oh, my God. How was the dance? Was it cracking?
0:14:41 > 0:14:43Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It was so legit.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Ja'mie looked so quiche.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Seriously, I went, like, full slutty.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Like, I had my buttons undone, and then Hayes afterwards busted me
0:14:49 > 0:14:50for showing too much cleavage.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52But, like, seriously, he wants me so badly.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Yeah, you can tell.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56I reckon he like full jizzed while I was dancing.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59- Eurgh, Ja'mie, that's gross. - Is he hot? Like silver fox?
0:14:59 > 0:15:01- No, he's chat as.- Oh, my God, that's disgusting to even think about.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04I think it's important as a girl of my age
0:15:04 > 0:15:06and also my status within the school as school captain
0:15:06 > 0:15:10to socialise, especially with the other elite private schools.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13So, Kelton, like, the guys there, like...
0:15:13 > 0:15:15They're the future leaders of the country,
0:15:15 > 0:15:17if you know what I mean. So, like, as me,
0:15:17 > 0:15:19it's good for me to sort of get in with them now
0:15:19 > 0:15:23so in the future I'll have connections for later in life.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Oh, my God. I DO have goss from today.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28There is a major hottie in Year 10 that's just started.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31A rugby scholarship guy, and he is so fucking quiche.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33I'm getting a semi just thinking about him.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35- Eww. Shut up.- Year 10. That is so adorable.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38- I love Year 10s. So is he legit quiche?- He's definitely quiche.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40And he is fully your type, babes.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42He's got bushy eyebrows. He's a bit meat-heady,
0:15:42 > 0:15:45like a hot face, though, and, like, massive feet.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48- And, you know, he seems pretty dumb.- He sounds fucking incredible.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51- You've got to arrange a meeting. - Oh, my God, Ja'mie. He's in Year 10.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54Um, care factor. I fucking love Year 10s. They're hot as.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56So who's he friends with? Like, Josh and them?
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Yeah. He's been chilling with Josh, like, all day.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00I'm going to ask the Year 10s.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Um, excuse me. Are you guys in Year 10?
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Do you know the new rugby scholarship guy?
0:16:07 > 0:16:09- What's his name? - Mitchell.- Hot name.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Like, bushy eyebrows, like, kind of meat-heady, a bit stupid.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14But is he friends with Josh McLaughlin?
0:16:14 > 0:16:16- Yeah.- Well, he's totally coming.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18Ja'mie, look quick. There he is with Josh.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Oh, my fucking God. The guy on the right.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22- Yeah, that's the guy. - Seriously? Fuck my life.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25He's so fucking quiche. Oh, my God, guys.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28- Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.- He's really hot.- I'm going to talk to him.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Yeah, go for it. He's so hot, Ja'mie.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32All right, your school captain is going to do some socialising.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34- YOLO.- Oh, Ja'mie!
0:16:34 > 0:16:38Hi. Mitchell? Hi, I'm Ja'mie.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40I'm school captain of Hillford Girls Grammar.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Just wanted to welcome you to the area and stuff.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46- And...so rugby scholarship.- Yeah.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48- That's pretty cool.- Yeah, it's cool.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51Yeah, I can tell you look really sporty and stuff.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53So...yeah. Really good to meet you.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Just wanted to generally sort of say hi, welcome, and all that.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58So if you want to know anything about Hillford,
0:16:58 > 0:16:59then just chat with me.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Ja'mie, your mom's here.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Fuck my life!
0:17:04 > 0:17:08I told you fucking 3:10, not 3 0-fucking-7.
0:17:08 > 0:17:09That fucking bitch.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Sorry, Mitchell. I got to go.
0:17:13 > 0:17:14But really good meeting you.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Hopefully see you around here and stuff.
0:17:16 > 0:17:17- Bye-bye.- Bye.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20Love you so much. Mwah. I love you so much.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23- Love you so much. Mwah. - I love you. So fucking much.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26- I'm going to miss you. Bye.- I love you. Love you so much.- Love you too.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28- Bye, babes.- Bye. ILY, everyone.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30- ILY.- Bye.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Hi, Jamie.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Madison and Olivia are staying over, so thanks.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Um, what do I do?
0:17:38 > 0:17:40You press the button, and you gotta have the key in first.
0:17:40 > 0:17:44- ALL TALK AT ONCE - Shut up. I know what I'm doing.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Jamie, you have to drive the car.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49You have to focus now. This is absolutely ridiculous.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Well, why do they put it on the same side as the fucking indicator?
0:17:51 > 0:17:54- Jamie, listen.- OK, I'm going. Drive. Here we go.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Jamie, have you checked your blind spot?
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- Why isn't it going? - Because the handbrake is still on.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Well, take the fucking handbrake off before I get in.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03- Jamie, you're the driver. - It's annoying.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06- Jamie, we've had this discussion before.- We're going. We're driving.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09If you're not confident in driving, then you're not allowed to drive.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11- Soz, I thought that was the accelerator.- Oh, for heaven's sake.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13Why is the indicator still on?
0:18:13 > 0:18:16- Oh, my God, I can't believe it. - Seriously, how hot is Mitchell?
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Oh, my God. He's so quiche.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21When I first saw him I was like, "Oh, my God."
0:18:21 > 0:18:24He's got those eyebrows. He's got the best body.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27- He's really mature for his age. - Oh, my God.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30Seriously, I cannot stop thinking about him.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32- Oh, my God.- Please, watch out for the side of the road again.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Courtney, move, so Madison can get her fucking seatbelt on.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37- He looks really, like, mysterious and stuff.- Fucking little bitch.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40- Grow some tits.- You can't talk to your sister like that.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43- Shh!- Yes, I fucking can.- Courtney! - I've got bigger tits than you,
0:18:43 > 0:18:44and when I was in Year 7,
0:18:44 > 0:18:46my tits were fucking way bigger than yours.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49No, they were only mosquito bites. I have, like, mangos.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51- Courtney!- You are going to have the smallest tits
0:18:51 > 0:18:53an adult has ever had in the whole fucking world
0:18:53 > 0:18:56- because you're a fucking little bitch.- Jamie. Jamie.- Shut up.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59- I'm going to tell your father about this.- Seriously, I'm sick of her.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01I am trying to drive while that little bitch
0:19:01 > 0:19:03is preventing my friends from wearing their safety devices.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06Do you think I want you as a sister? You're so fucking irritating.
0:19:06 > 0:19:07- Shut the fuck up.- Courtney!
0:19:07 > 0:19:09- The world doesn't revolve around you.- OK, I've had enough.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12- Do you want me to slap you? - You can't, cos I'm faster than you.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15- Shut the fuck up while I'm driving. - Jamie, drive. Courtney, behave.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18- Whatevs! I'm the boss of the car. - I'm driving.- Shut the fuck up.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20- With two hands. - I want to talk about Mitchell.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23I should totally add him on Facebook.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25Oh, my God. I'm going to add him. Cos he'll be on Josh's.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28There's a roundabout. Jamie, there's a roundabout.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30- I know. I can do both. - Use two... Jamie.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32- Jamie. Jamie, honestly. - He's on Josh's.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35- Oh, my God. There he is, there he is.- Oh, my God.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37- You're not going to do it now. - Oh, my God, she did!
0:19:39 > 0:19:41- I friend requested him. - What? Oh, my God!
0:19:41 > 0:19:43Oh, my God. Oh, my fucking God.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46- Jamie, please. - I know how to text and drive.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48- I'm not a fucking idiot. - Jamie, it's illegal.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Oh, fuck, sorry. Sorry.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Um, well, if you didn't talk to me while I was trying to drive,
0:19:52 > 0:19:54there wouldn't be an issue.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56You're going to cause an accident.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59- Jamie, you need to focus. - Focus on yourself.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11- Daddy's home! Hi, Daddy. - Hello, darling. How was school?
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Why are you guys home early?
0:20:13 > 0:20:15- Hi, Mandy.- Hi, Jamie.
0:20:15 > 0:20:16Why are you guys home?
0:20:16 > 0:20:19We're flying interstate late tonight, doll.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Mandy's just helping me organise some paperwork.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Guys, this is Mandy, my dad's assistant.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27- She's really quiche.- Hi, Mandy. - Daddy, can we have pizza tonight?
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Yeah, we can. Is that a new iPad, Jamie?
0:20:30 > 0:20:31I hope that's not yours.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34Yes. I told you I needed one for school.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Really, and how did you pay for that?
0:20:36 > 0:20:39- Your AmEx. - Ja'mie, we said we'd discuss it.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41You don't need the new one.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43The AmEx card is for emergencies only.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45Pwease, Daddy. It's educational.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Jamie, you need to check with your father first
0:20:48 > 0:20:49before spending money.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Yeah. Shut up. Who asked you? New cover.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53You know, Courtney doesn't even have a laptop yet,
0:20:53 > 0:20:56and you're out there buying iPads for yourself, Jamie.
0:20:56 > 0:20:57Well, Courtney doesn't have a laptop
0:20:57 > 0:20:59cos she's banned from using computers
0:20:59 > 0:21:02cos she hacked into my Facebook, so it's her own frigging fault.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Have you told your father about schoolies week?
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Yeah, we booked Bali.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Again? This was to be discussed first, Jamie.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10- Which accommodation? - The good resort.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13Are all your parents agreeable to this, girls?
0:21:13 > 0:21:14BOTH: Yeah.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Jamie, the bottom line is you don't buy things
0:21:16 > 0:21:18without our permission, full stop.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Can you tell your loser wife to stop bitching in my face?
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Don't speak to your ma like that. That is disrespectful.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27- Where the fuck is my Coke Zero? - Jeez.
0:21:27 > 0:21:28Did you drink it?
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Fuck my life.
0:21:30 > 0:21:31Don't touch my Coke Zero.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34- Daddy.- What?
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Can you make Jamie an iced coffee?
0:21:38 > 0:21:41'Jamie is a high achiever. She's a very beautiful girl.'
0:21:41 > 0:21:43She's everything that a father would want in a daughter,
0:21:43 > 0:21:45but, you know, that being said,
0:21:45 > 0:21:47we have to rein her in every now and again.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49I want one of your iced coffees.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51- That should do me.- No. Go away.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Pwease, Daddy? I'm "firsty".
0:21:53 > 0:21:56- I'm not your slave.- Jamie "firsty".
0:21:56 > 0:21:58- Come on, Daddy. - I'm not your slave. Go away.
0:21:58 > 0:21:59- I love you.- I've had a long day.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02- I'll let you be my friend on Facebook.- Go away.
0:22:02 > 0:22:03I'm blocking you from Facebook.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06'We want the very best education for her,
0:22:06 > 0:22:08'which I believe she's getting at Hillford.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11'Her Year 12 results are vitally important.'
0:22:11 > 0:22:14And I expect a lot from both my daughters.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16We expect big things.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18But, Jamie... man, she's special, though.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21She's not only a very clever girl
0:22:21 > 0:22:24but she has proven herself to be a very kind
0:22:24 > 0:22:26and compassionate girl as well.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29"A nest of ferns was her only place to rest.
0:22:29 > 0:22:33"It had been a thrilling day, but a day she would rather forget.
0:22:33 > 0:22:34"The end."
0:22:34 > 0:22:37That's it. What do you say?
0:22:37 > 0:22:39- What do you say? - 'Thank you, Ja'mie.'
0:22:39 > 0:22:41All right. Good night. Going. Bye, bye, bye, bye.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44- Oh, my God, he is so adorbs. - I know. How fucking cute is he?
0:22:44 > 0:22:47- So how often do you read to him? - Like, every night pretty much.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50I'm doing "The Hunger Games" at the moment. He fucking loves it.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52He's pretty quiche for, like, an African guy.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Do you know what I love? I love it when he smiles.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Cos it's, like, he's all black
0:22:56 > 0:22:58and then just - bang... this white thing.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59Just this gleaming white thing coming out of his mouth.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01He's got the whitest teeth. He's so cute.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04I'm trying to get him to take his top off on Skype, but he won't.
0:23:04 > 0:23:05Ja'mie, can I sleep in the bed tonight?
0:23:05 > 0:23:07I'm really sick of the mattress.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Yeah, but I'm going to do the lesbian prevention guard.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11You're so funny, Ja'mie.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13I'm not even fucking joking. I'm fucking serious.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16I'm not going to wake up with your fingers in my vagina "accidentally."
0:23:16 > 0:23:19- Shut up. - Oh, Ja'mie. Check your phone
0:23:19 > 0:23:21and see if Mitchell's accepted your friend request.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23- Yeah...- I hope he has.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25He hasn't.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27I really want him to.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29I'm starting to ship me and Mitchell so badly.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32What can I do to make him love me?
0:23:32 > 0:23:34There's a Year 10 party coming up. Would that be trag if we went?
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Whose place is it at?
0:23:36 > 0:23:39It's at Jordan Kingsley's, but all the Year 10 rugby guys are going.
0:23:39 > 0:23:40So Mitchell will be there. That could be good.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Like, I'd go...like, I like... The Year 10s are hot,
0:23:43 > 0:23:46- but it's kind of a bit creeps. - It'd be kind of cute.- Fucking hell.
0:23:46 > 0:23:47- I've just thought of an idea.- What?
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Let's have a massive party here at my house.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51- Oh, my God, are you serious?! - Oh, my God!- Seriously!
0:23:51 > 0:23:53- I haven't had a party for, like, months.- That is the best idea.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55- Invite Mitchell. Invite all the Year 10s.- Yes.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57Cos how much does Ja'mie have the best party house?
0:23:57 > 0:23:59- Oh, my God. That is genius, Ja'mie. - I know.
0:23:59 > 0:24:00And we could have a bubble machine.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02- And get fairy lights. - Yes!- And a smoke machine.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04- And a DJ. - And we can have a DJ.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06We can light up all the trees with fairy lights and shit.
0:24:06 > 0:24:07Costume one or what?
0:24:07 > 0:24:10- I don't know.- Too much pressure.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12- Yeah, dress really nice. - I know, cos you do slutty anyway.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14- Yeah, you want to look classy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16- I have to ask my dad.- Oh, my God, this is the best idea ever.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Yes! Let's go ask him now. Oh, my God.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Daddy.
0:24:20 > 0:24:21Um, can I have a party?
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Like, just us girls this Friday?
0:24:24 > 0:24:26- Just all of us.- No. No parties.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29- Please? I really want one. - No, it's Year 12.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31I'm not having a bunch of teenagers,
0:24:31 > 0:24:33especially ones I don't know, in this house.
0:24:33 > 0:24:34Daddy, please?
0:24:34 > 0:24:36'Jamie can be very persuasive when she wants to be.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39'She has this habit of biting me on the shoulder
0:24:39 > 0:24:41'when she wants to get her own way.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44'She's done it ever since she was little.'
0:24:44 > 0:24:46It gets me every time.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48She can be very flirtatious, you know?
0:24:48 > 0:24:50- Daddy, please?- Hmm?
0:24:50 > 0:24:54Full adult supervision and no alcohol that we know of.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57- No alcohol.- No alcohol. No.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00- Boys?- Um, no boys. Maybe a couple.
0:25:02 > 0:25:03Come on.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Jhyll, are you agreeable to this?
0:25:06 > 0:25:09I've heard things can get out of hand. I don't know.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Let them do it. It'll be fun. You're only a teenager once.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14- Yay, Mandy.- Yes! Go Mandy.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17I suppose. All right.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19- On condition.- Yeah, what?
0:25:19 > 0:25:21That you focus on your studies afterwards.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24Yeah, whatever. Oh, my God. So we can do it?
0:25:24 > 0:25:26- Yes, OK.- Yes! Oh, my God.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28And no adults are allowed,
0:25:28 > 0:25:30and you guys have to stay upstairs the whole time.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33- Oh, my God!- Oh, my God. I can't believe we're having a party here.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35- It's going to be so fucking good. - Check your phone.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37- Check your phone. Check your phone. - Oh, my God.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39"Mitchell Ward has accepted your friend request"!
0:25:39 > 0:25:43- THEY SCREAM - Oh, my God!- Seriously!
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Seriously, I'm going to get my crunk on.
0:25:49 > 0:25:53It's going to be cray cray!
0:25:59 > 0:26:01Next time on Ja'mie: Private School Girl...
0:26:01 > 0:26:04Last night, he sends me a dick pic.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Oh, my God!
0:26:06 > 0:26:10They're choosing the best dance soloist to perform
0:26:10 > 0:26:11in front of the whole school.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13Are you fucking serious? Are you trying to sound bad?
0:26:13 > 0:26:16- We sound fine.- Grow some tits and shut your fat face.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19So I told Josh and his friends to meet us after choir practice.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22- OK, quick. Get in.- Hi, guys.
0:26:22 > 0:26:23I didn't know you were going to come.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27Some of us are straight in here.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Don't look.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Fucking delete it, you stupid slut!