0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains strong language and adult humour.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08- 'So Kwami sent me a picture of his dick.'- Oh, my God!
0:00:08 > 0:00:10'It was a pretty random thing to do.'
0:00:10 > 0:00:11- Hey, it's kind of chunky.- I know.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13It's actually quite hot for a dick, I reck.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15'The Perfect Prefect Party plans are under way.'
0:00:15 > 0:00:17It's called the Perfect Prefect Party.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20There'll be a Facebook event up about it today so...
0:00:20 > 0:00:21'And everyone's invited,
0:00:21 > 0:00:23'except Asians and boarders.
0:00:23 > 0:00:24'It's going to be hectic.'
0:00:24 > 0:00:26Put your phone away. You're on school grounds, OK?
0:00:26 > 0:00:28I'll give you a Friday if I see it again.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32'My dance solo is coming along really well,
0:00:32 > 0:00:35'and I think I'm easily going to get the marks to get into uni.'
0:00:35 > 0:00:37That was cray. It's totes adorbs.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39I could tell you were about to lose it.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44'Erin, the fat lesbian boarder, thinks her dance is amazing.'
0:00:46 > 0:00:47'But it's actually ridic.'
0:00:47 > 0:00:49Cool dance, Erin. Really creative.
0:00:49 > 0:00:50WTF?
0:00:50 > 0:00:53I don't want to arouse certain people.
0:00:53 > 0:00:54Hey, I didn't think you were going to come.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57You didn't respond to my Facebook message. I thought you hated me.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00We're thinking of going to the shops and leaving you and Mitchell to chat.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02- I did not plan that to happen.- Yeah.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04'Mitchell and I got a bit of solo time
0:01:04 > 0:01:06'to get to know each other.'
0:01:06 > 0:01:08Go from non-flex to flex.
0:01:08 > 0:01:09Oh, my God.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12MUSIC: "Raining Diamonds" by Ricki Lee
0:01:14 > 0:01:17'But my bitch of a little sister ruined everything.'
0:01:17 > 0:01:18Fucking delete it, you stupid slut.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21What on earth's going on in here? Girls, stop.
0:01:21 > 0:01:22OK - you, young man, go.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24'Mr Hayes said that I need to be careful,
0:01:24 > 0:01:26'or I might not win the Hillford Medal.'
0:01:26 > 0:01:29You do the right thing by us and we can do the right thing by you,
0:01:29 > 0:01:31but it comes down to you.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33'But I was about to do something that would guarantee
0:01:33 > 0:01:36'that I'll definitely be this year's Hillford Medallist.'
0:01:36 > 0:01:39# I'm learning to be me... #
0:01:39 > 0:01:40- Your solo sucks. - At least I wrote the song.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43All you've got is a flat chest and chin acne.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58FLUTE PLAYS
0:02:30 > 0:02:32# There's something 'bout you
0:02:32 > 0:02:34# There's something 'bout you
0:02:34 > 0:02:35# There's something in your eyes
0:02:35 > 0:02:37# Tells me we going to be all right
0:02:37 > 0:02:39# I'm playing with fire
0:02:39 > 0:02:41# Playing with fire
0:02:41 > 0:02:43# That nothing can put out
0:02:43 > 0:02:46# But I feel so safe right now, baby... #
0:02:46 > 0:02:47Where the fuck are they?
0:02:47 > 0:02:50If they don't hurry, I'm going to kill my parents so badly.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Stress less. They'll be here in time.
0:02:52 > 0:02:53Well, I think I've got a reason to stress.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55- Like, hurry the fuck up. - I'm so excited.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57- Don't worry, Ja'mie. - Everyone in the hall...
0:02:57 > 0:03:00If he doesn't turn up, then the whole fucking thing's ruined.
0:03:04 > 0:03:05Well, lately I've realised
0:03:05 > 0:03:08that I've got a bit distracted from my charity work.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11It's kind of like the thing that I'm known for around the school.
0:03:11 > 0:03:12Like, helping other people.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16GIRLS SQUEAL
0:03:16 > 0:03:18- Can't wait to see him. - You won't be able to see him
0:03:18 > 0:03:20cos there's tinted windows and he's really black.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22It's an important requirement of the Hillford Medallist -
0:03:22 > 0:03:26to demonstrate Christian values, show compassion to others and stuff.
0:03:26 > 0:03:30- Oh, my God, he's...- Hi, Kwami.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Hi, Kwami, it's me.
0:03:32 > 0:03:33- Kwami!- Hi.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37Get in. I don't need it. You're embarrassing me. Go away.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Hi, Kwami. How are you going?
0:03:39 > 0:03:41- He's so cute, Ja'mie!- Are you nervous about being here, Kwami?
0:03:41 > 0:03:43You shouldn't be, because we'll look after you.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Welcome to Hillford, Kwami!
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Does he understand what we're saying?
0:03:47 > 0:03:49- Um, yeah, he kind of understands me. - OK...
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Are you just loving having all the girls around you?
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Yes, he is. He totally is.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55'So, what I thought I'd do'
0:03:55 > 0:03:58was get an actual povo African out of their community
0:03:58 > 0:04:01and do something, like, really compassionate for them.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05So Kwami, the African guy that I read to,
0:04:05 > 0:04:08lives in this, like, really crowded block of flats.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12My wife, Jhyll, and I are agreeable for everything.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15There's plenty of room. He is going to be very comfortable.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18And at the moment, he's sleeping on his aunty's couch
0:04:18 > 0:04:20cos his family are waiting for housing placement
0:04:20 > 0:04:22and it's going to take two weeks or something.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25And it's so trag. Like, he's really hating it.
0:04:25 > 0:04:26Good boy.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30So, I live in a mansion, right? And we've got heaps of space.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32So, what I thought is, "Why doesn't he come and live with me,
0:04:32 > 0:04:37"like, at our place for like a month or something, like a charity thing?"
0:04:37 > 0:04:40Like, I know it's really random but it's kind of Christian-y.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Say bye-bye. Thank you very much.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46'When Jamie first told me she wanted to bring a black African home,
0:04:46 > 0:04:48'I was very surprised.'
0:04:48 > 0:04:49Bye-bye.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53'But then she explained the terrible conditions that he had to live in,
0:04:53 > 0:04:55'and I was very agreeable to the idea.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59'She's an incredibly compassionate girl.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01'And personally, I got to know a lot of blacks
0:05:01 > 0:05:03'while growing up as a kid in South Africa.'
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Very decent people. Great workers.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08'So, no, it will be good.'
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Are you OK, Kwami?
0:05:10 > 0:05:12The assembly is going to be so good.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14- God, he can't stop smiling. - This is so hectic.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18- I can't believe I've seen his dick. - Shut up. He's right here.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Yeah, but he doesn't know what "dick" means, does he?
0:05:20 > 0:05:21He might. I'll ask him.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25Kwami, I showed the girls the dick photo that you sent me.
0:05:25 > 0:05:26GIRLS LAUGH
0:05:26 > 0:05:30Yeah, he totally knows - he's loving it.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32As if you wouldn't be loving it, having us all around you.
0:05:41 > 0:05:46As you well know, during my time as a committed charity worker,
0:05:46 > 0:05:49I have demonstrated compassion to the less fortunate boys of the world
0:05:49 > 0:05:52with my self-devised charity programme,
0:05:52 > 0:05:55"A Boy In Need Is A Boy Indeed".
0:05:55 > 0:05:57The homeless,
0:05:57 > 0:05:59the retarded,
0:05:59 > 0:06:01the black, to name a few.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05I spend time with them and I provide a shoulder to cry on
0:06:05 > 0:06:06and an open heart.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08I'm a really good listener.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12My "A Boy In Need Is A Boy Indeed" programme definitely demonstrates
0:06:12 > 0:06:15the Christian values that should be a part of all our lives
0:06:15 > 0:06:17as Hillford Girls.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21I would now like to introduce to you my latest project, Kwami.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23APPLAUSE
0:06:23 > 0:06:26This is Kwami. He's from Uganda.
0:06:26 > 0:06:27It's in Africa.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29And he's really adorbs.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31I've been spending time with him and his community
0:06:31 > 0:06:33in this really povo area in the Western suburbs.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36I've been like reading to him and just chilling and stuff.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38It's legit a seriously tragic environment.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41But that is all about to change,
0:06:41 > 0:06:44cos Kwami is coming to live with me and my family
0:06:44 > 0:06:45in our massive house
0:06:45 > 0:06:47while he's awaiting housing placement.
0:06:47 > 0:06:48It's going to be insane.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50I would now like Kwami
0:06:50 > 0:06:54to demonstrate his incredible dancing ability.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56I call him Jason Derulo.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Let him show you why.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01MUSIC: "Jase's Dougie" by Jase Beathedz
0:07:23 > 0:07:25# Friday is for ever
0:07:25 > 0:07:26# We belong together
0:07:26 > 0:07:28# So come on, come on
0:07:28 > 0:07:30# And don't you say never
0:07:30 > 0:07:33# If you go then I know there is no tomorrow
0:07:33 > 0:07:35# So come on, come on
0:07:35 > 0:07:36# You should know better
0:07:36 > 0:07:40# It's right
0:07:40 > 0:07:43# It's time for you and I
0:07:43 > 0:07:47# Friday is for ever We should be together tonight... #
0:07:47 > 0:07:50Guys, should I text Mitchell cos it's Kelton recess?
0:07:50 > 0:07:53And, like, we could get him to come and meet us at the basketball court.
0:07:53 > 0:07:54- Yes.- Is that really random?
0:07:54 > 0:07:56- No, no, no.- That's fine.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59- Have you been talking to him a lot? - Um, like, not really,
0:07:59 > 0:08:01but I've been stalking him on Facebook and stuff, like.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03- I've liked a few of his posts. - That's cool.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06There was this like shirtless shot of him and I liked it
0:08:06 > 0:08:08and I wrote "quiche" and then did a little winky face.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10- Yes... Was it hot?- So hot.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12- Really?- He's so hot.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Yeah, like, I don't want to be, like, a full slut
0:08:14 > 0:08:15at this early stage.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- You know what I mean?- Defs.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Oh, my God, Kwami.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21You have to tell me what you think of Mitchell when you see him.
0:08:21 > 0:08:22You've got to let me know
0:08:22 > 0:08:25- if you think, like, we'll work well together.- He's so hot.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27- You're going to love him. - Yeah, definitely.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29So this is the oval
0:08:29 > 0:08:32and this is where all the seniors hang out, except Asians.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35And, like, all the little groups, like, sit around and stuff.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38What it is, is, like, basically the hotter and more important you are,
0:08:38 > 0:08:40the closer to the centre of the oval.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42So, we're dead centre.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44- Move!- Why are they...
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Out of our spot. For fuck's sake...
0:08:47 > 0:08:49So, what kind of girls are you into?
0:08:49 > 0:08:53Like, would you go other races or are you, like, strictly black?
0:08:53 > 0:08:56Cos I don't think... We don't have any black girls here.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58We've got a couple of Indian girls.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00- Are you into Indian girls? - I don't know.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03I'm not really. They're kind of weird and they smell.
0:09:03 > 0:09:04GIRLS LAUGH
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Oh, my God, see those girls over there?
0:09:06 > 0:09:09That's Brianna's group and they're my Year 11 friends.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11I kind of... I phased them out cos they got fat.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Yeah, Ja'mie didn't fit in there at all.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Oh, my God. See that really butch girl over there?
0:09:16 > 0:09:18That's Lauren and she's a full legit lesbian.
0:09:18 > 0:09:19Like, she's a boarder
0:09:19 > 0:09:22and all the boarders are lesbians at this school.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24- She tried to hit on us. - It's really hevs.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26- Hi, Sir.- Morning, girls. How are we?
0:09:26 > 0:09:27GIRLS: Hi.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31Kwami, I'm Mr Hayes, the Deputy Principal here at Hillford.
0:09:31 > 0:09:32Wonderful to have you here.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Jamie, once again, congratulations on the programme.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37- Really inspiring stuff. - Thanks, Sir, I know.
0:09:37 > 0:09:38I just love doing this kind of thing,
0:09:38 > 0:09:41- giving back to the community and stuff.- We really appreciate it.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Kwami, I hear you're staying with the Kings whilst you're here?
0:09:44 > 0:09:46You'll have a great time there, mate.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49He can't really understand English that well. He understands me
0:09:49 > 0:09:51because we've kind of overcome the language barrier and stuff.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54- Hi, Erin. How are you? - ERIN: Hi. Sorry to interrupt.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56I just wanted to say congratulations on the programme, Ja'mie.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59- The presentation was really cool. - Thanks.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02And, hi. Is it Kwami? I'm Erin. Welcome to Hillford.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05Yeah, I look forward to hearing more about your country
0:10:05 > 0:10:06and about all the hardships and stuff.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08OK, girls, I'll leave you to it.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11- Kwami, lovely to meet you.- Have a wonderful time whilst you're here.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14- Girls, enjoy the rest of your day. - Thanks, Sir.- GIRLS: Bye.
0:10:14 > 0:10:18Um, can you not talk to him because he doesn't really understand you?
0:10:18 > 0:10:20He only understands me. So don't even bother.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24OK, cool. I guess I'll just see you in dance class, then.
0:10:24 > 0:10:25Nice to meet you, Kwami.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27- Bye. - See ya.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31What the actual fuck was that?
0:10:31 > 0:10:35WTOMFG. That was so fucking random. Oh, my God.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38- We're not your friends, bitch. - She is officially a fuckin' psycho!
0:10:38 > 0:10:41It's like, don't come up here just because there's a black guy here.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43It's like...go away.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46Seriously. "I want to find out more about your country." Seriously...
0:10:46 > 0:10:48- Get lost.- What a fake bitch. Like, seriously.
0:10:48 > 0:10:49What a creep. That's creepy.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51I can't even deal with how random that was.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54But Ja'mie, come on, she is nicer when she's not around Lauren.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57No. She was only doing that because Mr Hayes was here.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59- Yeah, definitely. - It's so embarrassing.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Like, I'm not your friend. You're a fucking lesbian.
0:11:01 > 0:11:05You're fat. Go away and stop trying to fucking cash in on my African.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07- Oh, my God.- That was so cray.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09Kwami, what did you think of that fat girl that came up?
0:11:09 > 0:11:11- Did you like her? Say, "No."- No.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14See? Kwami only speaks the truth.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17Oh, my God. Oh, my God! Mitchell's at the basketball court.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19GIRLS SQUEAL Let's go.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Kwami, you'll get to see how quiche he is.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25# Do-do-do, do, do, do, do-do
0:11:25 > 0:11:26# Oh, baby
0:11:26 > 0:11:29# Do-do-do, do, do, do, do-do... #
0:11:29 > 0:11:31- Hi, Mitchell. - GIRL: Hi.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33- Hi...- Hi, girls.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36- Have you been waiting for long? - Nah. We just got here.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39- Um, what are you doing?- Nothin'.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43Um. That guy is Kwami. The African that's moving into my house.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45- GIRLS CHUCKLE - That's Mitchell.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47- What are you wearing to the party? - That's such a random question.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Dunno. Do we have to dress up?
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Um, no, just whatever looks hot. I don't really care.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Oh, my God, you should totally flash him your tits.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57- I'm not a fuckin' skank. - No, just do it. He'll love it.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Hey, do you want Ja'mie to flash her tits?
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Shut up! Oh, my God. Fuckin' bitch.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Oh, he's texting, he's texting.
0:12:04 > 0:12:05- Oh, it goes. - MESSAGE DING
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Oh, my God. He said, "yes" with a smiley face!
0:12:08 > 0:12:09I'm so not doing it.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11- I'm not doing it.- Do it.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13I'm not doing it. I'm not a full sluzza.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15- He's such a flirt. - Maybe at the party, then.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19- GIRLS: Ooohhhhh. - We'll see. Maybe.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Anyway, we've got to go to class, so see you at the party, Mitchell.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24- See you later.- Bye.
0:12:24 > 0:12:25Oh, my God, he so wants you.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28Oh, my God! I'm freaking out right now.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Someone's going to be hooking up at the party.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32# And I'm like, yeah
0:12:32 > 0:12:35# Everything you heard is true
0:12:35 > 0:12:39# Everybody knows I'm hung up on you SCHOOL BELL RINGS
0:12:39 > 0:12:41# Oh, oh, oh, oh
0:12:41 > 0:12:42# And I'm like, yeah
0:12:42 > 0:12:45# Telling other girls I'm through
0:12:45 > 0:12:49# Everybody knows I'm hung up on you. #
0:12:51 > 0:12:54So, Kwami, welcome to the King mansion.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56This is, like, the main living area.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Like, this is where we hang out mostly.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Um, 80-inch 3D TV.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02So if you want to watch something in 3D, let me know.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Glasses in the drawer.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Just relax. Sit anywhere you want.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Don't sit there or there cos that's me and Dad.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11- CODY: Hi, Mrs King. - Howzit, Cody?
0:13:11 > 0:13:13I told you to have the food out when we got home.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16And what is that? As if he's going to eat that. Yuck.
0:13:16 > 0:13:17- Epic fail. - Well, some of us like them.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20There's plenty of food for everyone. So calm down, Jamie.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23Get five Coke Zeros on a tray, in a glass, in my room, in five minutes.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26Has Courtney moved out of her room yet or is she being a bitch?
0:13:26 > 0:13:28- I don't know. - Let's go upstairs, guys.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Kwami, this is your room.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33It's actually my sister's room. Chuck your bags down.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36But it's going to be yours for, like, a month while you're here.
0:13:36 > 0:13:37So settle in. Get out!
0:13:37 > 0:13:39- Get out! Mum!- I'm getting my books.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41It's still my room. You don't have to be a fucking bitch.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45Well, don't fucking come in when Kwami is in here, you fucking perve.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Um, anyway, so my room is like just there so...
0:13:47 > 0:13:50The bathroom's here so you might see me like walking out in a towel
0:13:50 > 0:13:52in my undies or something.
0:13:52 > 0:13:56- You're totally going to flash him. - Shut up. Whoops.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58Anyway, bitches, we need to get ready.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Oh, my God. We've got a party on tonight. You're totally invited.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02I can't believe that Mitchell in a few hours
0:14:02 > 0:14:04- is going to be in your house. - Tonight's the night.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07- Shit's going to get hectic.- How much is today the best day of my life?
0:14:07 > 0:14:10I can't even fuckin' deal. I've got Mitchell coming to my house
0:14:10 > 0:14:12and I've got an African guy living in the room next door.
0:14:12 > 0:14:16My life is so fucking random but it's so fucking amazing right now.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18- Best day ever.- Let's get ready.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Let's get our crunk on, bitches!
0:14:20 > 0:14:23Kwami, do you drink alcohol? Cos you're totally drinking it tonight.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25- GIRLS SQUEAL - Let's get ready, guys.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30POP MUSIC PLAYS
0:14:30 > 0:14:31Move.
0:14:37 > 0:14:38Sorry.
0:14:42 > 0:14:43SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY
0:14:47 > 0:14:50Oh, these are cute. Get back inside.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04I got us some vodka.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07GIRLS SQUEAL
0:15:07 > 0:15:08SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY
0:15:10 > 0:15:13ALL: Scull, scull, scull, scull, scull.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16ALL CHANT: Tits out for the boys! Tits out for the boys!
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Kwami.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Tits out for the boys! Tits out for the boys!
0:15:20 > 0:15:23MUSIC: "Chemical Energy" by Will Spark Ft Flea
0:15:51 > 0:15:53GIRLS CHATTER AND LAUGH
0:15:54 > 0:15:57- Is he coming over?- Mitchell.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Get back inside! Get out of the party.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Seriously, I told you, it's a no-parent party.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Mandy's allowed because she's young.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12- Get inside.- I'm just handing out some food, Jamie.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15I don't care. Go and give it to the African.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Make him hand it out. Seriously.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19You're embarrassing the shit out of me.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Go, Ja'mie!
0:16:30 > 0:16:33- Go, Ja'mie! - Oh, my God, Ja'mie.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Mitchell is so fucking quiche.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38- Seriously, look at him. - I know.- He's a megababe.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40I so reckon you're going to hook up with him tonight.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43I know! Seriously, how much am I going to?
0:16:43 > 0:16:45- I know.- I really want to.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48It's like, I don't know, I just really want to mack on with him.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51- You're so horny for him, Ja'mie. - Shut up...!
0:16:51 > 0:16:54I know. He just looks really quiche tonight.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57- Yes, he does.- And how quiche am I looking tonight?
0:16:57 > 0:16:59- ALL: You look amazing. - Seriously, I'm, like, smoking.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02If you two get together tonight, it's legit going to be the most
0:17:02 > 0:17:04- incredible thing of the year. - Seriously, definitely.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Oh, my God, if it happens, we should totally jump in the pool
0:17:07 > 0:17:09- with our clothes on.- ALL: Yeah!
0:17:09 > 0:17:13Seriously, that is ridic but YOLO. We should totally do that.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16It'd be like a wet T-shirt competition, like when we get out.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- ALL SCREAM - We're doing it. We're doing it.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Hands in if we're doing it.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23- We're doing it. - ALL SCREAM
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Um, do another round and then you can eat yourself. Go.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28MUSIC: "Ah, Yeah" By Will Sparks
0:17:42 > 0:17:43CONVERSATIONS INTERMINGLE
0:17:46 > 0:17:49Ja'mie. The boarders are here. They're out the front.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51- GIRLS:- What?!
0:17:51 > 0:17:54- What the actual fuck? - Where are they, though?
0:17:54 > 0:17:57There is no fucking way I am letting them in.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Seriously, this is not fucking happening to me right now.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01- Oh, my fucking God. - The fucking dumb lesbians.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Seriously, fuck. Like, if they try to get over the fence,
0:18:04 > 0:18:06I'm going to call the fucking cops. I'm serious.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09Go away, Lauren! You're not fucking invited.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Why? The Facebook event said "all Year 12s".
0:18:11 > 0:18:13Um, yeah, everyone except Asians and boarders.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15It goes without fucking saying.
0:18:15 > 0:18:16Well, that's really mean. And racist.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Why the fuck would I would invite you? I don't even like you.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Seriously, think about it. You don't just fucking turn up at my house...
0:18:22 > 0:18:25You're such a fucking bitch, Ja'mie.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27You're a really nasty person. You only think of yourself.
0:18:27 > 0:18:31Whoa, someone's standing up for themselves for the first time in their whole fucking life.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Seriously, I don't care what you say, you fat lesbian, Erin.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36Seriously, can you get them to go away, please?
0:18:36 > 0:18:38MADISON: Fucking go back to your farms, bitches.
0:18:38 > 0:18:42Why would I want fat lesbian boarders in my fucking house?
0:18:42 > 0:18:46You know what, Ja'mie? Your dance solo is actually really bad.
0:18:46 > 0:18:47Miss said it's nowhere near as good as mine.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50So I wouldn't count on getting the marks you need.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Seriously. What the fuck would you know about dancing?
0:18:52 > 0:18:54At least I'm not miming fucking sandbagging.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Everyone's fucking laughing at you. You look ridic.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59And also, has anyone ever told you
0:18:59 > 0:19:01dancers are not supposed to be fucking fat?
0:19:01 > 0:19:02You think she's ridic?
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Have you looked in the mirror lately, horse-face?
0:19:04 > 0:19:07You might want to consider plastic surgery for that double chin.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11- Fuck off, you fucking bitch. - Whatever, you think you're so hot.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14You go around talking about how great you are all the time.
0:19:14 > 0:19:15- I know I am.- No, you're fat.
0:19:15 > 0:19:16- You're fat yourself.- Oh, am I?
0:19:16 > 0:19:19- You call me fat? - ALL AT ONCE: You're fat!
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Obviously, I'm fat. Guys, am I fat?
0:19:21 > 0:19:23- GIRLS: No!- Yeah.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26No, that's because your friends are too scared to tell you.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29I am not fucking fat! You fucking bitch.
0:19:29 > 0:19:34Go away or I'll get my dad to fucking bash the shit out of you.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36- I fucking hate you! - GIRLS TALK OVER EACH OTHER
0:19:36 > 0:19:38- Oh, my God.- Ja'mie, it's OK.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41Why did she say I was fat? I'm not!
0:19:41 > 0:19:44- Seriously, am I fat?- No.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47THEY ALL TALK OVER EACH OTHER
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Why did she say that I was fat?
0:19:49 > 0:19:51- Seriously, look at me. - You're not fat!
0:19:51 > 0:19:55- But she said that I was fat.- Ja'mie.
0:19:55 > 0:19:59- SOBBING:- Seriously, am I fat? Do you think I'm fat?
0:19:59 > 0:20:01- MITCHELL:- Don't let it ruin a good party. You're all right.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04Then why did she fucking say it?
0:20:04 > 0:20:06- GIRL:- It's all right, it's all right.
0:20:06 > 0:20:11- We'll sit over there. - JA'MIE SOBS
0:20:11 > 0:20:12Am I fat?
0:20:12 > 0:20:16No, no, you're not. Sit down.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18We'll go. Mitchell will look after you. ILY.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20- Don't believe the lesbians, Ja'mie. - ILY.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23- I love you guys.- It's all right.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27I said "No boarders".
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Why would I fucking want them here?
0:20:29 > 0:20:34I invited three Asians. What more do I have to do?
0:20:34 > 0:20:37- Now everyone's fucking staring at me.- No, no, they're not staring.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Cos I'm crying, thinking I'm a fucking freak.
0:20:39 > 0:20:44- They're not staring, right? - They are.- No, they're not. They're not staring at you.
0:20:44 > 0:20:45Do you think I'm fat?
0:20:45 > 0:20:48No. You're not fat. You're not fat at all.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51I like it when you put your arm around me.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53It makes me feel really good.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12What are you doing?
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Just changing my Facebook status.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15This will make it Facebook official.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18- What?- Us...
0:21:18 > 0:21:19You and me. We just hooked up.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26- Oh, my God. Seriously.- Oh, my God.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29GIRLS SQUEAL
0:21:31 > 0:21:34Oh, my God! I can't believe it.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39- Seriously, could you guys see from over there?- Yeah!
0:21:39 > 0:21:45- I'm so embarrassed. So awkies.- I knew you two would end up hooking up.
0:21:45 > 0:21:46Congratulations, bebs.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Could you fully see us hooking up?
0:21:48 > 0:21:50- GIRL: Yes.- Oh, my God.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Tonight is the best night of my life.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Guys, guys, we should do the pool thing!
0:21:55 > 0:21:57ALL SQUEAL
0:21:57 > 0:21:59OK, I'll be back in a sec.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02Oh, my God. I'm going out with Mitchell!
0:22:02 > 0:22:03YOLO!
0:22:03 > 0:22:04ALL SCREAM
0:22:07 > 0:22:11Oh, my God. I jumped in with my iPhone!
0:22:11 > 0:22:12But I don't even care
0:22:12 > 0:22:15cos I'm going out with the quichest guy in Year 10!
0:22:17 > 0:22:18ALL: Come in.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Oh, my God! This is the best night of my entire life.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31Next time on Ja'mie - Private School Girl...
0:22:31 > 0:22:35Oh, my God, he's calling me. Hi, Mitchy.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38Having a boyfriend is the best. It's so good.
0:22:38 > 0:22:39Good night.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Are you nervous about dance assessment?
0:22:41 > 0:22:43I heard the judges are really lenient
0:22:43 > 0:22:44towards girls with your body type.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48# A woman I will be
0:22:48 > 0:22:51# Cos I'm learning to be me. #
0:22:51 > 0:22:54The only person in my family that understands me is Kwami.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Kwami, get to your own room.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58I'm reading to him. That's why he is in here.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Can you just fuck off, OK?
0:23:00 > 0:23:02I wish I fucking drowned you as a child.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05Have you guys checked Facebook in like the last ten minutes?
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Oh, my God. He's changed his relationship status to "single".
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Oh, my God.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12- I so fucking loved him.- GIRLS: Awww.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15I've got fucking clinical depression, you fucking idiot.
0:23:15 > 0:23:19I stole my mum's antidepressants. But they're not really working.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21GIRLS SHOUT