0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Hello and welcome to
0:00:29 > 0:00:32Jack Dee's US Presidential Inauguration Helpdesk.
0:00:32 > 0:00:36My helpers and I are here to field questions
0:00:36 > 0:00:39from our studio audience about a Donald Trump presidency
0:00:39 > 0:00:42because many people see him taking office
0:00:42 > 0:00:44as the beginning of something fearful.
0:00:44 > 0:00:45Personally, though,
0:00:45 > 0:00:48seeing a man with potentially terrifying and troubling views
0:00:48 > 0:00:51take a position of power that he's wholly unqualified for
0:00:51 > 0:00:53just reminds me of the happy day I got this job.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57So let's meet tonight's helpers.
0:00:57 > 0:01:01He was recently named the hardest working comedian of 2016,
0:01:01 > 0:01:05and richly deserved because I spent a lot of time with him and I
0:01:05 > 0:01:07can vouch for the fact that he is hard work.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09It's Romesh Ranganathan.
0:01:12 > 0:01:16And my next guest is a TV presenter who hosted two series of
0:01:16 > 0:01:20Splash! on ITV, not to be confused with Donald Trump, who hosted
0:01:20 > 0:01:23one night of splash in a Moscow hotel suite.
0:01:23 > 0:01:24It's Gabby Logan.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29And a comedian who, according to Wikipedia,
0:01:29 > 0:01:33was once heckled by a man dressed as a bottle of ketchup.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Sadly, no mention of whether it was Heinz ketchup,
0:01:35 > 0:01:38so it may well have come from an unreliable source.
0:01:40 > 0:01:41It is...
0:01:41 > 0:01:43It is...
0:01:43 > 0:01:45It is the marvellous Sara Pascoe.
0:01:45 > 0:01:46Thank you.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48My dad is going to love that joke.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52And a comedian who won Comedy Central's
0:01:52 > 0:01:54funniest student award in 2011,
0:01:54 > 0:01:58a competition I previously hadn't done so well in personally.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00I thought running around drunk with a traffic cone on my head
0:02:00 > 0:02:02was a stroke of genius, but apparently not.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Please welcome Phil Wang.
0:02:10 > 0:02:11So, what to expect?
0:02:11 > 0:02:15The day of the inauguration traditionally starts with a prayer.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16Bloody right it will!
0:02:17 > 0:02:21This last week saw Trump's otherwise spotless reputation brought
0:02:21 > 0:02:23into question by a leaked document.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26It was claimed he paid prostitutes to urinate in a hotel room.
0:02:26 > 0:02:30Trump pointed out he'd never behave like that because there are
0:02:30 > 0:02:31hidden cameras wherever he goes.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34So surely his security team would always sweep a room before
0:02:34 > 0:02:37he enters and indeed mop it up after he leaves.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44So...
0:02:44 > 0:02:48So, let's move on to our very first question
0:02:48 > 0:02:50and I'm going to look for Alan White.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53Hello, Alan, welcome. How are you?
0:02:53 > 0:02:54- Hi, I'm very well, thanks. - Good, good.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56What would you like to know about?
0:02:56 > 0:03:00I have two gay friends who married recently and moved to
0:03:00 > 0:03:02California this month.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06Is there a chance that Mr Trump may force them to get a divorce?
0:03:06 > 0:03:09What have you heard? Are they genuinely worried?
0:03:09 > 0:03:14No, but wasn't Trump against or going to repeal...?
0:03:14 > 0:03:16I think what's really worrying is this is kind of
0:03:16 > 0:03:17a really serious question.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20- It is.- And this is a silly, silly thing.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23You should, like, google it.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Yeah, I mean, I don't think your friends are that bothered
0:03:27 > 0:03:30if they've sent you along here to find out.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35"Fingers crossed he gets the answer we're after!"
0:03:36 > 0:03:38- They only flew out yesterday.- Mm-hm.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40- OK, so good timing.- I think...
0:03:40 > 0:03:43I'm not generalising, but if we're going to go on things we know,
0:03:43 > 0:03:46facts, which I'm talking about his Twitter feed, Donald Trump's
0:03:46 > 0:03:49- Twitter feed, which is all fact, isn't it?- Yeah(!)
0:03:49 > 0:03:52He has had a meeting with Anna Wintour, OK,
0:03:52 > 0:03:55who is the editor of Vogue in America and,
0:03:55 > 0:03:57by all accounts, to Donald Trump,
0:03:57 > 0:04:00possibly the most important woman in America, I think he thinks she is.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Now, she works in the fashion industry,
0:04:02 > 0:04:04which is obviously a very gay industry,
0:04:04 > 0:04:07and I think he will have her on side,
0:04:07 > 0:04:10and she'll have his ear and she'll say, "Don't repeal it."
0:04:10 > 0:04:11So, I think they're fine.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Well, he said, "It is what it is,"
0:04:13 > 0:04:16and it's happened, the legislation has been passed,
0:04:16 > 0:04:19and I think he won't do anything about that.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21I think personally, deep down, he doesn't feel it's the right
0:04:21 > 0:04:24thing to be allowed to happen, but I don't think he's going to change it.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26That's the serious answer, from what I've heard.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29The problem is, even if he does believe that,
0:04:29 > 0:04:31he's so nuts that it's possible that he might just take
0:04:31 > 0:04:34a personal dislike to your friends in particular...
0:04:34 > 0:04:36And that's it.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38..and decide just to force them, as the only gay couple,
0:04:38 > 0:04:42to get a divorce. You... What's your connection to the...?
0:04:42 > 0:04:45Are you equal friends with both? Are they genuine...?
0:04:45 > 0:04:48- I mean, how worried are they? Are they...?- Well, they...
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Are you asking in the hope that they split up,
0:04:50 > 0:04:52one of them comes back and you can marry them?
0:04:53 > 0:04:55We won't go into that.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Holy shit. So you're like... You're a big Trump fan, then, aren't you?
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Are they English, your friends?
0:05:03 > 0:05:05One's English, one's French.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Oh, would they not like to come and live here?
0:05:07 > 0:05:09No, they're leaving because of Brexit.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Oh, God. Their life's really in turmoil, isn't it?
0:05:12 > 0:05:16They really dodged the bullet there, didn't they?
0:05:16 > 0:05:19Absolutely nailed that, haven't they?
0:05:19 > 0:05:22That's lovely timing, isn't it? I like the fact that they did that.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25Well, you know, good luck to them, Alan. I hope it all works out.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28I'm going to move on... Thank you for your question.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31..and try and find Ansell Syrah.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33We'll just get a microphone to you.
0:05:33 > 0:05:34Did I pronounce your name correctly?
0:05:34 > 0:05:37- Yeah, close enough. - Close enough. I'm sorry.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40I like the fact you're not that fussy, Ansell.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42So, what would you like to ask?
0:05:42 > 0:05:45So, I put money on Donald Trump winning the election.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47How much did you win?
0:05:47 > 0:05:52- £50.- So you're happy, presumably. - Well... It's... It's bittersweet.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Now I don't know what to spend the money on to make things better.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Well, I think try and halt the apocalypse...
0:06:00 > 0:06:02- ..what I'd suggest. - Why don't you invest that £50
0:06:02 > 0:06:05into a hod-carrying or a brick-making company
0:06:05 > 0:06:07that's based near the Mexican border?
0:06:07 > 0:06:09You seem like a ruthless bastard
0:06:09 > 0:06:12and you can make more money out of horrible policies.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15Are you actually...? Are you actually a Trump fan?
0:06:15 > 0:06:16No, no, not at all.
0:06:16 > 0:06:21So what sort of made you decide to put the bet on?
0:06:21 > 0:06:25Just, you know, something good had come of...
0:06:25 > 0:06:27So this guy's friends have to get divorced,
0:06:27 > 0:06:29but at least you've made 50 quid.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33And, Ansell, thank you very much for asking that question.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36I'm going to try and find Kristine van...
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Isendoorn, is that right?
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Let's get the microphone to you.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43- Thank you very much. - Thank YOU very much.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47I wanted to ask you something about spray tan and hair dye
0:06:47 > 0:06:50because I'm wondering whether that will be in bigger demand,
0:06:50 > 0:06:55especially for men, now Mr T is going to be there.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57- Mr T?- Mr T.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02Ironically, Mr T would have been a much better candidate.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05"I pity the fool who bans Muslims!"
0:07:11 > 0:07:16So, is body tan and hair spray going to become the next big thing
0:07:16 > 0:07:19- as a...?- Yes.- I think his tan...
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Up to this point, we've assumed that was a spray tan, but now...
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Maybe it's just Russian urine.
0:07:24 > 0:07:25Maybe that's all...
0:07:31 > 0:07:33So, two things. Number one, I think sometimes we get too distracted
0:07:33 > 0:07:35by what Trump looks like
0:07:35 > 0:07:37because there's really, really serious things going on.
0:07:37 > 0:07:41So I don't... I don't care about his hair at all, or his face,
0:07:41 > 0:07:43but there is... In all seriousness,
0:07:43 > 0:07:45the biggest growing market in cosmetics
0:07:45 > 0:07:47is things that are marketed to men
0:07:47 > 0:07:49because they basically got women to an insecurity level
0:07:49 > 0:07:52where they can't spend any more on shit we don't need,
0:07:52 > 0:07:54so they have now started making men feel terrible
0:07:54 > 0:07:57about themselves, and it's horrible cos it's not like,
0:07:57 > 0:08:00"Oh, they've done this to us. Oh, great, now men are getting it."
0:08:00 > 0:08:02It's like, "Stop it, we're all fine!"
0:08:02 > 0:08:05I had absolutely no idea that my wife worked for the cosmetics
0:08:05 > 0:08:08industry, based on that, because she makes me feel like shit every day.
0:08:11 > 0:08:15I'm not sure any cosmetics industry is going to be plugging that look.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19You'd be surprised because, actually,
0:08:19 > 0:08:20if you're a middle-aged man...
0:08:20 > 0:08:21You're a mi...
0:08:26 > 0:08:28No, no... No.
0:08:28 > 0:08:32- No, but...- IMITATES TRUMP: It's fake news, it's fake news.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35It's ironic, isn't it,
0:08:35 > 0:08:38for a man who seems to have a complete phobia of anybody
0:08:38 > 0:08:40of any other ethnicity than his own,
0:08:40 > 0:08:43that he would want to make himself darker and a different colour.
0:08:43 > 0:08:44It's quite ironic, really.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47I think he's just trying to show that he can be
0:08:47 > 0:08:49a brown man better than a brown man can be.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51"I can even do that better than you."
0:08:53 > 0:08:56OK, well, I think we've helped you on that one, haven't we? So it's...
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Katrina van Buren. Katrina?
0:09:02 > 0:09:05Hiya. Just get the mic to you. So, Katrina.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09Hi. My husband is a Muslim and we were thinking of going to America
0:09:09 > 0:09:11- for a holiday...- No! Don't!
0:09:14 > 0:09:17Obviously, Trump is thinking about banning Muslims from
0:09:17 > 0:09:19travelling to America, so my question is - should we
0:09:19 > 0:09:23boycott America as a holiday destination or should I go anyway?
0:09:27 > 0:09:30That's a delightful way that you've put that.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34I mean, there is a genuine concern there, with the...
0:09:34 > 0:09:37Is your husband here with you tonight? Hi, how are you?
0:09:37 > 0:09:39- Fine, thanks.- OK. Looking forward to the holiday?
0:09:41 > 0:09:45It all depends if we can manage to go across, but looking at what Trump
0:09:45 > 0:09:48is saying, it sounds as if I'll probably have to stay behind.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Well, you know, joking aside, it's funny that...
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Well, it's not funny that we are sort of having to ask these
0:09:52 > 0:09:57questions suddenly after what we thought was 30 years of progress.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59- Yeah.- And it is a bit worrying, that, isn't it?
0:09:59 > 0:10:02That you suddenly think, "Well, maybe it wouldn't be safe to go there."
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Phil, are you a big holiday man?
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Do you suggest they go together or what?
0:10:07 > 0:10:11Yeah, I think every holiday does better with a sense of jeopardy.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15And if you're having to outrun the authorities at every step,
0:10:15 > 0:10:16that's exciting.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20Try and make it to... Try and touch Trump Tower and...
0:10:20 > 0:10:21And leg it.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25- ROMESH:- Just try and have some fun.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Ansell'll put a bet on it, it will be amazing.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32Have you thought of just going to Cuba?
0:10:32 > 0:10:36Cos you could just check into Guantanamo and your wife
0:10:36 > 0:10:38just enjoy the rest of the island.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40- And there's loads of empty rooms. - Yeah.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43- Cos Obama has let many people out. - Lots of vacancies.
0:10:43 > 0:10:48Well, it's a very lazy plan of weeding out Muslim extremists
0:10:48 > 0:10:50by just banning all Muslims
0:10:50 > 0:10:53cos you're then missing out on a lot of great Muslims. You know,
0:10:53 > 0:10:58like, I don't like Bounties, but I still buy the Celebrations.
0:11:02 > 0:11:03Cos I...
0:11:05 > 0:11:06I'm a hard-working guy.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09- Have you been to America before as a couple?- No.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Because...
0:11:11 > 0:11:14I'm married to a white woman - not showing off - but...
0:11:14 > 0:11:19I am married to a white woman and even sort of pre-Trump going into
0:11:19 > 0:11:22America, it's quite fun to see the difference in how you get treated.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24It's nice. It's just... It's a nice, fun observation.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27- In a positive or negative way? - Well, I just think it's funny.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30My wife goes through, they ask her what she bought, I have a rectal exam.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Do you know what I mean? It's Just...
0:11:38 > 0:11:40It's just fun to examine the differences,
0:11:40 > 0:11:42do you know what I mean?
0:11:42 > 0:11:43That's what the security guy said.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47Well, that's what he said he was.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Hasn't he...? He's kind of retreated...
0:11:51 > 0:11:54I know he's retreated on most things that he said in the run-up to the
0:11:54 > 0:11:58election, but he's retreated a bit on this, hasn't he?
0:11:58 > 0:12:01Because a lot of Americans pointed out a lot of famous,
0:12:01 > 0:12:03great Americans who are Muslims
0:12:03 > 0:12:07and he kind of went, "What, Mohamed Ali?!
0:12:07 > 0:12:11"The name, it never gave it away, I don't know what I was thinking."
0:12:11 > 0:12:13But so maybe...
0:12:13 > 0:12:14Maybe he's now thinking,
0:12:14 > 0:12:17rethinking his position on Muslims going on holiday.
0:12:17 > 0:12:18That's our biggest hope, isn't it?
0:12:18 > 0:12:21- That actually he didn't really mean what he said.- On anything.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24I mean, out of interest, is there anyone here who is kind of
0:12:24 > 0:12:26pro-Trump and thinks that they...
0:12:26 > 0:12:28there's something that could be said on his behalf
0:12:28 > 0:12:30at this point of the...?
0:12:31 > 0:12:34- LAUGHTER - They're very quiet.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38- Mm.- This is a fun holiday you've got lined up.- It is, yeah.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41Thanks very much for asking, though, Katrina.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43So, where is Naim from Cornwall?
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Cos you've got a question that links onto that.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Where are you, Naim? Naim, how are you?
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Slightly nervous, but I'm all right. How are you?
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Please don't be nervous, not of this, anyway.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55I mean, there's plenty for you to be nervous about at the moment.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57What would you like to ask?
0:12:58 > 0:12:59- As a Muslim...- Mm-hm.
0:12:59 > 0:13:03..I've been thinking about also travelling to the States
0:13:03 > 0:13:05and I'm just wondering, really,
0:13:05 > 0:13:10as someone who rocks the slippers and socks angle...
0:13:10 > 0:13:13- Yeah.- Is that a good idea if I want to get into Trumpland?
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Is that a good idea that I should be looking to do that?
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Are you wearing sandals and socks or slippers and socks?
0:13:19 > 0:13:22I think you've got to be the only Muslim man whose biggest
0:13:22 > 0:13:25concern about entering America is his slippers.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30- I think the problem is that I like the look.- Right.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32I genuinely like the look. It's particularly comfortable.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34I know what else is written on that question
0:13:34 > 0:13:36and I think you've realised I've just avoided it.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Tell me, what does it say, Naim?
0:13:38 > 0:13:40I was kind of hoping it was so silly I wasn't going to get asked it.
0:13:40 > 0:13:41You brought it up!
0:13:42 > 0:13:46I'm sorry, you were worried it's silly because the slipper thing was so hard-hitting?
0:13:51 > 0:13:52Yeah, you wrote it down
0:13:52 > 0:13:55and then, because I didn't mention it, you then said,
0:13:55 > 0:13:57"Do I have to mention the other thing that's on the card?"
0:13:57 > 0:13:58Go on, what is it?
0:13:58 > 0:14:01I think you actually mentioned it yourself. It's, you know,
0:14:01 > 0:14:04"How do I ensure I don't get a long and generous cavity search?"
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Because that's something that, you know...
0:14:06 > 0:14:08that's been happening every single time I go.
0:14:08 > 0:14:12I think my advice to you would be don't try to avoid it, just lube up.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18You've got absolutely no hope of avoiding it, mate,
0:14:18 > 0:14:21just try and find some way of enjoying it if you can.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26It might end up being the best part of your trip.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31Romesh doesn't work in America, but he still goes seven times a month.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35We don't say anything about it, just...he goes.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37I wanted to ask Romesh what happens afterwards,
0:14:37 > 0:14:39when you sort of lock eyes with him.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42You know, afterwards, and you know that he's been...
0:14:42 > 0:14:45rummaging around, and you think,
0:14:45 > 0:14:48"Well, I know him better than I know some of my best friends, you know."
0:14:48 > 0:14:51You've really lost your inhibition about this question, haven't you?
0:14:52 > 0:14:53You don't seem so reluctant now.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57You've built up some sort of fantasy about me getting my arse fondled
0:14:57 > 0:14:59and you're there,
0:14:59 > 0:15:01and you start hitting me across the arse with a slipper...
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Finally, someone taking the real issues.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Why not put something up there as a little nice surprise?
0:15:11 > 0:15:15Something... "Oh, a Kinder egg!" You know?
0:15:17 > 0:15:19- Yeah.- Like a slipper, like a Russian doll.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21- SARA:- Another pair of slippers for him!
0:15:23 > 0:15:25A Russian doll is a good idea.
0:15:25 > 0:15:29As a Muslim guy, you've got another Muslim guy inside you.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Security goes, "I was absolutely shitting myself,
0:15:31 > 0:15:35"I didn't know how many of these fuckers are getting in here, man!"
0:15:37 > 0:15:38- Thank you.- You're welcome.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40You're welcome. That's a good idea, I think.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43Phil says, you know, put a little something up there for him to
0:15:43 > 0:15:46find, and when he does, go, "Read the card, read the card!"
0:15:51 > 0:15:54OK. Louisa Dales. Louisa.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Hiya, Louisa.
0:15:56 > 0:15:57- Hello.- Hiya.
0:15:57 > 0:16:01So I stole a Trump campaign sign from someone's front yard
0:16:01 > 0:16:03while I was in America this summer.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06Is it OK to still have it on my bedroom wall or is it,
0:16:06 > 0:16:07like, not funny or ironic any more?
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Is everyone who's coming into your bedroom suddenly wanting to
0:16:10 > 0:16:12vote for Trump?
0:16:12 > 0:16:14No, the idea was that it was funny cos no-one would...
0:16:14 > 0:16:16and then they did.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Right. Apparently...
0:16:19 > 0:16:22I mean, I read that apparently the sympathy that poured out to
0:16:22 > 0:16:24a family that had one of those signs stolen from their lawn is
0:16:24 > 0:16:28cited as the tipping point which led to Trump's victory.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30This state that I stole it from actually voted Democrat,
0:16:30 > 0:16:33and it was a swing state, so I think I aided that by...
0:16:33 > 0:16:36Don't console yourself with that, we know what happened.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38- We know what happened. - Were you drunk?
0:16:38 > 0:16:41No. I'm only...
0:16:41 > 0:16:43- Well, I was 20 at the time, so I can't drink in America.- Oh, OK.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46Why don't you put the sign in your front garden and then see if
0:16:46 > 0:16:48you enjoy the funny, ironic smashed windows?
0:16:50 > 0:16:53My parents are in the audience and I don't think they'd approve.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Do you bring partners back to your bedroom?
0:16:55 > 0:16:58As I said, my parents are in the audience, so absolutely not.
0:17:04 > 0:17:08I was worried that it could look like an instruction, that's all.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10Oh!
0:17:10 > 0:17:12A very big hint, yeah.
0:17:12 > 0:17:16It's a tricky one, then. What do you think, Phil?
0:17:16 > 0:17:20How did you get it back here? Is it a big sign? Like a lawn sign?
0:17:20 > 0:17:23So, it was like a plastic sign with a metal frame,
0:17:23 > 0:17:25so I took the frame out
0:17:25 > 0:17:28- and then hid it in the bottom of my suitcase.- She's not stupid.
0:17:28 > 0:17:29Just a thief.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34- Are you a student yourself? - Yeah, yeah.- Yeah, OK.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37- So... And where are you a student? - Cambridge.- Cambridge. Right.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39So, people be warned in Cambridge.
0:17:42 > 0:17:47I'm going to try and find Natalia Marchesca.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49- Hiya.- Hi.
0:17:49 > 0:17:53So my question is, in the post-truth society, how can I ensure
0:17:53 > 0:17:55that people only tell me things I agree with and like?
0:17:55 > 0:17:59You prefer not to hear things you don't agree with?
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Well, politicians seem to be able to pick the truth and pick
0:18:02 > 0:18:05facts as they prefer them, so why not everybody else?
0:18:05 > 0:18:07I don't want to... I've already cleansed my Twitter feed
0:18:07 > 0:18:10- and my Facebook friends and people I don't agree with.- Right.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13That's a start, but, you know, there are other ways, probably.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15So, you're asking us how to cleanse the real world?
0:18:15 > 0:18:17Cos this is a slippery slope!
0:18:19 > 0:18:22But only something that applies my own views.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Wait, so you want to strengthen your bubble?
0:18:25 > 0:18:27- Absolutely.- OK. - It's a scary world out there.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29- Yeah.- Right.
0:18:29 > 0:18:30- ROMESH:- I sort of think it's the opposite
0:18:30 > 0:18:32of what you should be doing,
0:18:32 > 0:18:34you know, like, because part of the problem is, I think,
0:18:34 > 0:18:39you know, if you take something like Brexit, for example,
0:18:39 > 0:18:41I think that people that...
0:18:41 > 0:18:44You know, people that were against us leaving, you know,
0:18:44 > 0:18:47they surrounded themselves on their social networks with
0:18:47 > 0:18:50people that agreed with them, and they were under...
0:18:50 > 0:18:53they were of the belief that it was a formality that we were
0:18:53 > 0:18:56going to say in, and then they were suddenly surprised by the
0:18:56 > 0:18:59fact there were people who thought differently to them.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01I would sort of say that you actually...
0:19:01 > 0:19:04You're better off cutting off people that agree with you,
0:19:04 > 0:19:06actually, and sort of surrounding yourself,
0:19:06 > 0:19:09surrounding your social network with people that completely disagree
0:19:09 > 0:19:11with you, and then when you do leave the house, you think,
0:19:11 > 0:19:15"Oh, everybody's not an arsehole," do you know what I mean?
0:19:15 > 0:19:18It will be a pleasant surprise for you, actually.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20- PHIL:- I started going on EDL rallies.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26I give them chow mein and, you know, try and win them back.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29They eat it. They eat it. They are passionate, but they are hypocrites.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32They lap it you. But, yeah, expand your bubble.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34The other part of this is that
0:19:34 > 0:19:37there's a trend now for students and so on
0:19:37 > 0:19:40to want safe spaces and places where their views
0:19:40 > 0:19:43are not going to be challenged, cos they find it offensive,
0:19:43 > 0:19:46so they don't want to learn bits of history that they now
0:19:46 > 0:19:47consider to be offensive.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50And the dangerous part of that is we might end up never learning about
0:19:50 > 0:19:55slavery because the facts are so offensive, is that not the case?
0:19:55 > 0:19:58- Yeah, this is turning a bit more serious than I intended.- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02- Sorry.- Yeah.
0:20:06 > 0:20:07All right, OK.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Well, thank you very much for raising that
0:20:09 > 0:20:11and getting us all depressed.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17I'm going to try to find Angela McDougal now. Angela. Hello.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20Just get a microphone to you. Angela, how are you?
0:20:20 > 0:20:22I'm good, thanks, and you?
0:20:22 > 0:20:24Very well, thank you. What was your question?
0:20:24 > 0:20:29My question is how can we discourage Trump from giving the White House
0:20:29 > 0:20:31a Trump Tower-style makeover?
0:20:31 > 0:20:35OK, are you worried he's going to cover it in gold on the inside?
0:20:35 > 0:20:38Yeah, it could be a problem for the economy there, you know,
0:20:38 > 0:20:41he uses up all the reserves from Fort Knox, you know.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43I think we should encourage him to do stuff like that
0:20:43 > 0:20:44because the problem...
0:20:44 > 0:20:46The thing that I'm most concerned about is
0:20:46 > 0:20:50he's going to get normalised and then people will think it's OK.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53I think we should be going, "Yeah, put some gold on it, mate.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54"Put your face on the front of it."
0:20:54 > 0:20:57Just really make him look bat shit crazy.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00- PHIL:- I don't think he's going to change it.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03Most of his supporters are pretty keen on keeping things white,
0:21:03 > 0:21:05so I think it's going to stay...
0:21:12 > 0:21:14What...? Cos most presidents incoming,
0:21:14 > 0:21:17they do make some change to the White House, unless they're
0:21:17 > 0:21:20making a point of not for austerity reasons or so on.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24Gabby, what would you like to do the White House if you were president?
0:21:24 > 0:21:29I like the idea of lots of secret doors, anywhere, generally.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Have you got a grown-up answer?
0:21:52 > 0:21:54"I'd make sure the Wi-Fi was all really good."
0:21:57 > 0:22:00- I went 'round the White House when I was about 14, 15.- Did you?- Yeah.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Well, I wasn't with my school. I was...
0:22:03 > 0:22:07I was in a tour, I was allowed to be there, I wasn't... You know.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11- I didn't break in. But I did, yeah, yeah.- Did you meet Woodrow Wilson?
0:22:21 > 0:22:22No, he was out.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26It was all right. You know, it was very nice.
0:22:26 > 0:22:27Then, you know, I was only a kid, wasn't I?
0:22:27 > 0:22:30A lot of secret doors, they were cool.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35OK, thank you, though. A good question, a good area to look into.
0:22:35 > 0:22:39I'm going to try and find Trudi Keeler-Stone. Trudi.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41- At the back there. Thank you.- Hi.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44I just wanted to ask, if you were asked to sing at the inauguration,
0:22:44 > 0:22:46what would you actually sing?
0:22:46 > 0:22:49First of all, obviously, I turned it down, so,...
0:22:50 > 0:22:52What would we sing at the inauguration?
0:22:52 > 0:22:56I don't know, you'd think, like, maybe just do the Birdie Song or
0:22:56 > 0:22:57something, just make, you know...
0:22:57 > 0:23:00Obviously, politically, I disagree with him,
0:23:00 > 0:23:02but I would love to sing in front of everyone.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04I would say yes to the concert.
0:23:04 > 0:23:05I would sing Whitney.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09I would sing I Will Always Love You
0:23:09 > 0:23:11and then probably an upbeat number.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16- Gabby, what do you think?- I can't get past Bucks Fizz, so I can't...
0:23:16 > 0:23:18- OK, is that your thing? - No, I just...
0:23:18 > 0:23:19That's all that keeps coming in my head.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21I just feel like I'd have to do...
0:23:21 > 0:23:23You know the bit where they rip their skirts off
0:23:23 > 0:23:25- in the Eurovision Song Contest? - Yeah.- That.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28- Cos I think he'd like that. I think he'd like that.- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31But then reveal that the person underneath was actually
0:23:31 > 0:23:32a lady boy or something like that.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35That would be good, yeah.
0:23:35 > 0:23:36And then they would just start pissing.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41- Rebecca Ferguson was asked to do it, wasn't she?- Yeah.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44- She said she would if she could sing Strange Fruit.- Yeah.
0:23:44 > 0:23:45I thought that was amazing.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48She knows how to get a party started, doesn't she?
0:23:48 > 0:23:51- Phil, I imagine... You've got music coming out of you.- Oh, yeah.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54- You're one of those guys, I can see it.- Mm, mm.
0:23:54 > 0:23:55- Mm, mm.- Um...
0:23:55 > 0:23:57Mm, mm, mm!
0:23:57 > 0:23:59I'd probably sing the Mexican national anthem
0:23:59 > 0:24:01- and just see what happened.- Yeah.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Thank you. Good, interesting question.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12OK, I think we've got time for a final question.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15I'll try and find Kathy Gervin. Kathy?
0:24:15 > 0:24:17- Hello.- Hi, how are you? - I'm fine, thank you.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19I'm not a supporter of Donald Trump,
0:24:19 > 0:24:22but I did put a bet on him and I won £90.
0:24:22 > 0:24:23You won £90!
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Yeah.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30And you...
0:24:30 > 0:24:34You don't sound as worried as Ansell about spending that money.
0:24:34 > 0:24:35What are you spending your money on?
0:24:35 > 0:24:39- I'm having dancing lessons. - Dancing lessons!
0:24:39 > 0:24:42- Wow.- Dancing on the grave of the United States.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45Kathy, what would you like to ask?
0:24:45 > 0:24:48Given the fact that every time Donald opens his mouth,
0:24:48 > 0:24:50he sticks his...
0:24:50 > 0:24:52he sticks his foot in it, I'd like to know,
0:24:52 > 0:24:55do you think he'll survive his first year as president?
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Well, it's interesting. What are your thoughts, Kathy?
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Do you think his...? What do you think the chances of that are?
0:25:00 > 0:25:02You seem to be a betting lady, so are you...?
0:25:02 > 0:25:06Have you been up to Paddy Power and put money on this yet?
0:25:06 > 0:25:09I'm not so sure. I mean, I'm not quite sure if he has a plan.
0:25:09 > 0:25:13- I'm not quite sure if he understands what the job entails.- No.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Every time he opens his mouth,
0:25:15 > 0:25:18- he just talks from the head rather than the heart.- Yeah.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20He doesn't think about what he's saying.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23I don't think it's even the head, is it, he's talking from?
0:25:23 > 0:25:27- That would be a start, wouldn't it? - Yeah, it's... It's not his mouth.
0:25:27 > 0:25:28It's not his mouth.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Is he going to survive his first year?
0:25:32 > 0:25:34Phil, do you think, is that a likelihood? Is that...?
0:25:34 > 0:25:37Um... He'll probably survive a year, at least.
0:25:37 > 0:25:42He's very talented at saying nothing at length, you know?
0:25:42 > 0:25:44So he's very good at vamping
0:25:44 > 0:25:48and spinning plates, and he just keeps...
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Well, sorry, that's another thing he does.
0:25:51 > 0:25:55He kind of puts everyone under this sort of miasma, the spell, and then,
0:25:55 > 0:25:58before you know it, he's offstage and you realise you've been duped.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00So I think he could keep it going for another year
0:26:00 > 0:26:02before everyone cottons on.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Yeah, I would say people who didn't think was going to
0:26:04 > 0:26:06become leader of the Republican Party and then be elected
0:26:06 > 0:26:10president, we are the same people to go, like, "He won't last a year!"
0:26:10 > 0:26:11Like, we're wrong.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13We don't understand.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15What if he gets a second term? Are we allowed to think...
0:26:15 > 0:26:16think that far ahead?
0:26:16 > 0:26:19In eight years' time, we could be here and, you know,
0:26:19 > 0:26:22nothing will matter any more cos it won't be there.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25I mean, Syria, Russia, it's all gone. It's all gone.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29We'll be in a bunker. It's a scary thought, isn't it, Kathy?
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Well, can I say one thing positive about him?
0:26:31 > 0:26:35- No.- He's been a very successful businessman.- Has he?
0:26:35 > 0:26:37- Well, yeah, he's made millions. - Are you being serious?- Hasn't he?
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Cos he actually would have made more money if
0:26:39 > 0:26:44he'd have just left his inheritance in a high-interest account.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46He's actually made less money as a result of his activities,
0:26:46 > 0:26:49so... He'd have been better off if he'd gambled like yourself.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53I think the positive is your dance of lessons.
0:26:53 > 0:26:54What kind of dance are you learning?
0:26:54 > 0:26:57Oh, Latin and...
0:26:57 > 0:27:00You can't do that in America any more.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Jiving, cha-cha-cha.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06You're getting a lot for 90 quid.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08- That's a lot of dance lessons, excellent.- Good.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11Well, good luck with that, Kathy. I hope that works out for you.
0:27:11 > 0:27:15And, you know, you enjoy your dance lessons off the back of
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Donald Trump becoming president.
0:27:18 > 0:27:22Don't feel too guilty as you're swirling around the ballroom.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24We've kind of run out of time, but we've got so many more.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26Let's see if we can just chuck a few more out.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28I won't go into the audience,
0:27:28 > 0:27:30just see if we can do a few more before we round things up.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32Gavin Clark is here, he says,
0:27:32 > 0:27:35"Surely the US being friends with Russia is a good thing."
0:27:35 > 0:27:36Oh, yeah, that's like saying,
0:27:36 > 0:27:39"It was so romantic when Fred West met Rose."
0:27:42 > 0:27:44- Yeah, it was a good thing.- Yeah.
0:27:44 > 0:27:48Lucy, Lucy Garcia, from London, "Do you agree that all world leaders
0:27:48 > 0:27:51"should still have 2am Twitter meltdowns?"
0:27:51 > 0:27:54The thing is, they are not all as interesting as him on Twitter.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57They tweet, like, official stuff. If it was like...
0:27:57 > 0:27:59If they actually were as honest
0:27:59 > 0:28:01or sort of like as mad as him, it would be funny.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04You know, if Merkel has, like, come out of a Wetherspoons,
0:28:04 > 0:28:05going, "I tell you what...
0:28:05 > 0:28:09"On reflection, there probably are too many bloody immigrants anyway!"
0:28:09 > 0:28:10That would be fun.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13There is India Harley from London.
0:28:13 > 0:28:17"What are you most looking forward to from the inauguration?"
0:28:17 > 0:28:19Trump's hand burning when he swears on the Bible.
0:28:19 > 0:28:21SHE GASPS
0:28:27 > 0:28:29That's all we've got time for this week.
0:28:29 > 0:28:34I'd like to thank my helpers - Romesh, Gabby, Sara and Phil.
0:28:34 > 0:28:36Thank you for taking part.
0:28:36 > 0:28:38That's it for my Donald Trump inauguration special.
0:28:38 > 0:28:41Hopefully, we'll see you in approximately three months' time
0:28:41 > 0:28:43for the Impeachment Helpdesk. Good night.