0:00:02 > 0:00:09This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:18 > 0:00:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:26 > 0:00:29Hello and welcome to Jack Dee's Help Desk.
0:00:29 > 0:00:33In recent times, this show has focused on questions about the General Election,
0:00:33 > 0:00:37the EU referendum and Donald Trump's inauguration,
0:00:37 > 0:00:43and I'm sure you'll agree we solved all of those big issues very nicely, so this one's for you.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Yes, tonight, my helpers and I will be facing questions about
0:00:46 > 0:00:50the smaller, everyday things that are troubling our studio audience,
0:00:50 > 0:00:54so please think of me as a shoulder to cry on, if you will,
0:00:54 > 0:00:59although not literally, as that would be weird and I would have to get security.
0:00:59 > 0:01:00So, let's meet tonight's helpers.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03He's an actor who recently appeared on
0:01:03 > 0:01:05I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!
0:01:05 > 0:01:08and told me earlier that the worst thing he's ever attempted
0:01:08 > 0:01:09to eat is koala's sphincter.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Believe me, the koala wasn't too happy about it, either.
0:01:14 > 0:01:15It's Larry Lamb.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:20 > 0:01:25And a comedian and actor who spells her name Andi with an "I".
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Well, I guess there's only so many times you can be mistaken for
0:01:28 > 0:01:31Andy Murray before you decide something has to be done about it.
0:01:31 > 0:01:32It's Andi Osho.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:35 > 0:01:39Our next guest says she's proud to be Canadian but identifies as
0:01:39 > 0:01:42being a British mum, so basically, she's the one wearing pyjamas
0:01:42 > 0:01:44in Tesco looking for the maple syrup aisle.
0:01:44 > 0:01:45It's Katherine Ryan!
0:01:45 > 0:01:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:46 > 0:01:48I do!
0:01:49 > 0:01:53And a comedian who once had a show interrupted when two members
0:01:53 > 0:01:56of the audience traded blows after accusing each other of
0:01:56 > 0:01:59laughing too loudly, but please don't worry -
0:01:59 > 0:02:01that kind of thing never happens when I'm around.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03It's Jeremy Hardy.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:07 > 0:02:10Little annoyances are called First World problems, which is unfair.
0:02:10 > 0:02:14Earlier, I injured my thumb typing too fast when I was doing
0:02:14 > 0:02:18the Ocado order, but you try telling a junior doctor that and it's almost
0:02:18 > 0:02:20as if he had something better to do.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23As well as assisting with your problems,
0:02:23 > 0:02:26I've got issues of my own to air - bad grammar,
0:02:26 > 0:02:30usually on the internet, is a major irritation for people like me.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32It always has been and always WAS be.
0:02:33 > 0:02:38A member of the production team told me earlier that with the wages we pay her,
0:02:38 > 0:02:41she has the dilemma of either paying for food or heating,
0:02:41 > 0:02:45which made me realise how bad I am at pretending to be interested.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47LAUGHTER
0:02:51 > 0:02:56So, without any further ado, let's get on with your questions.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59On top of the pile - I'm just going from the top here - William Collier.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Where are you, William? We'll get a microphone to you.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05- William, how are you - all right? - Yeah, I'm good, thank you.
0:03:05 > 0:03:06Good. Now, what's bothering you?
0:03:06 > 0:03:09I'm absolutely fed-up of parents updating me on social media
0:03:09 > 0:03:12about their children and everything they're doing
0:03:12 > 0:03:14and just "sharenting" everything.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16What can I do about it without unfriending them?
0:03:16 > 0:03:17OK, so typically, William,
0:03:17 > 0:03:20what's the sort of thing that they would update you on?
0:03:20 > 0:03:24Just mundane things, really, you know - "Oh, look,
0:03:24 > 0:03:27"little Johnny's managed to eat a chickpea today - wasn't he so brave?"
0:03:27 > 0:03:29LAUGHTER
0:03:29 > 0:03:31- I just don't care, really. - Yeah. Right.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34I've a feeling this is going to stop quite soon, anyway,
0:03:34 > 0:03:37after this goes out, but I wonder...
0:03:37 > 0:03:39I think we've got a few parents on the panel,
0:03:39 > 0:03:42so what are you thinking, Katherine? Any thoughts immediately?
0:03:42 > 0:03:46Well, I'm sure that your statuses as a single,
0:03:46 > 0:03:49white male in London are riveting.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51"Oi, lads, lads, lads, out again!
0:03:51 > 0:03:53"Bleurgh!"
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Yeah, pretty much.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57What's a typical status update for you?
0:03:57 > 0:04:01Probably normally a bit too drunk and then sharing my political views
0:04:01 > 0:04:03that I'd be normally too sober to do.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Thank you for sharing your political views
0:04:05 > 0:04:08because I wouldn't know what to think without them.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12I think what parents forget
0:04:12 > 0:04:15is that it's actually unsafe to update about your kids too much.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18They'll put a photo - "First day of school!" -
0:04:18 > 0:04:22wearing the emblem of the school, standing outside the house
0:04:22 > 0:04:24with the address on the door,
0:04:24 > 0:04:29so just kidnap them and teach everybody a lesson.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Do you feel that you're in competition
0:04:31 > 0:04:33with other people's children?
0:04:33 > 0:04:34I mean, you know,
0:04:34 > 0:04:38maybe you should post on Facebook,
0:04:38 > 0:04:40"I can do ALL the animal noises."
0:04:40 > 0:04:44And also, if you're in competition with people who have children,
0:04:44 > 0:04:47they're living vicariously. You have other things in your life.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49You have sleep,
0:04:49 > 0:04:53um...you have a social life and you have your own achievements
0:04:53 > 0:04:56and you don't need to live through the fact that your children
0:04:56 > 0:04:59can do the animal noises, and just post from time to time,
0:04:59 > 0:05:03"Believe me, your children are as ugly and stupid as any other child."
0:05:03 > 0:05:04LAUGHTER
0:05:04 > 0:05:07How far are you off having your own kids?
0:05:07 > 0:05:12Because maybe that's a solution, is you just bombard them...
0:05:12 > 0:05:15or you could just find any old pictures of other kids.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Say, "Look at this guy! Look at him jet-skiing!"
0:05:18 > 0:05:20I don't know.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23I mean, if I go and start taking pictures of kids outside schools,
0:05:23 > 0:05:24I might be in a bit more trouble.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27I can't get Facebook when I'm in jail, so that might be an issue.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29You've really thought this through.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- Yes, yeah.- Through to conclusion.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34In a slightly scary way.
0:05:34 > 0:05:38So, I mean, Larry, forgive me, cos I know you're a parent,
0:05:38 > 0:05:40but when you were a young parent,
0:05:40 > 0:05:43most of this stuff wasn't around, was it?
0:05:43 > 0:05:44It wasn't around at all.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48It wasn't even dreamt of, but I just don't understand people
0:05:48 > 0:05:51that read stuff that they don't want to read.
0:05:51 > 0:05:52Just don't bother.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03I think Larry's probably hit that one on the head there.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Just stop reading it!
0:06:05 > 0:06:08I don't think that ever occurred to any of us in the free world.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11We don't have to read this rubbish any more.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13I sort of think, it's like...
0:06:13 > 0:06:16- The round robin was the precursor to that, wasn't it, at Christmas?- Yeah!
0:06:16 > 0:06:19And especially on social media now, like you,
0:06:19 > 0:06:21I don't want to know, you know, all,
0:06:21 > 0:06:24"Ooh, Stuart's in the orchestra, Stuart's done this,
0:06:24 > 0:06:27"Stuart's done that, he's gone top of the class in maths."
0:06:27 > 0:06:29The only one that is excusable, probably, is,
0:06:29 > 0:06:30"Stuart's gone missing."
0:06:30 > 0:06:32LAUGHTER
0:06:34 > 0:06:36OK. Good. Thank you, William.
0:06:36 > 0:06:41Next up, we've got Heing Chung, I'm looking for now in the audience.
0:06:41 > 0:06:45- There we are, in the front. Hello. - Hello.- What can we help you with?
0:06:45 > 0:06:47My question's about the workplace.
0:06:47 > 0:06:52How can we teach the millennials to be more patient and grateful
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- rather than feeling entitled at the workplace?- OK.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59It sounds like you're experiencing this directly with people that you work with?
0:06:59 > 0:07:03- Partially, yes.- And how many people do you work with in your group?
0:07:03 > 0:07:05We're eight people.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08All right, so they're already going to be working out who you're talking about.
0:07:11 > 0:07:16- Actually, our group's quite good, so my team's great!- No, no, no.
0:07:16 > 0:07:21No, no, no! We're not allowing that. You said it!
0:07:21 > 0:07:23OK, so, an example of that?
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Can you think of one off the top of your head, someone who feels,
0:07:26 > 0:07:28oh, you know, I got it...
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Um, so when I started at an entry level job,
0:07:31 > 0:07:35I dealt with some of the - in quotation marks - menial tasks,
0:07:35 > 0:07:40but nowadays if we ask someone who just started their jobs
0:07:40 > 0:07:45to also do them, they are less willing to do them.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46Right. I have a similar thing.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49Some of the kids who work in my sweat shop,
0:07:49 > 0:07:53they've started to ask for toilet breaks and everything.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57So millennials, and... What do you think, Larry?
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Well, I really don't know the answer to that.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03It's like there's a whole age of people
0:08:03 > 0:08:06that have kind of sadly been set wrong.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10They don't actually feel they've got to do anything when they're
0:08:10 > 0:08:13at work because they didn't really have to do anything when they were
0:08:13 > 0:08:17at home, because people like me have been running around them
0:08:17 > 0:08:19since they were...after them since they were born!
0:08:19 > 0:08:21So, I'd go and shout at everybody
0:08:21 > 0:08:24that looks like me and say, "You got it wrong."
0:08:24 > 0:08:27I mean, it's just crazy, what we've unleashed on the world.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29I don't know. It's a very good question.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Katherine, what do you think?
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Well, I could be a little bit off on the number
0:08:34 > 0:08:36but I think there's a wide age group of millennials.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39I think it's anyone born between 1982 and 1995,
0:08:39 > 0:08:42and that would make me technically a millennial,
0:08:42 > 0:08:47and I feel like it's unfair to stereotype that entire generation
0:08:47 > 0:08:50as being entitled and ungrateful and lazy
0:08:50 > 0:08:53because they're also the generation that are addressing climate change.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56They're also the generation inventing apps to make
0:08:56 > 0:08:59our lives easier, and I think it's offensive to say millennials
0:08:59 > 0:09:02can't do anything, just like saying old people should stop being
0:09:02 > 0:09:06so, like, old and smelly and racist and having destroyed
0:09:06 > 0:09:10- the housing market for us, like... Give 'em a break.- Nice idea, yeah.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12Give 'em a break.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Jeremy, what do you think?
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Well, what you can do is, to pull them up short,
0:09:19 > 0:09:21is to remind them of their reality, like,
0:09:21 > 0:09:26"Yeah, but at least I don't have to live with my parents the whole of my life."
0:09:26 > 0:09:29But I do think you're right - we do stereotype young people
0:09:29 > 0:09:33as being healthy and vibrant and having knees that function -
0:09:33 > 0:09:35that's not always the case.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40A young person can trip and fall, as I'm sure you could arrange.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43LAUGHTER
0:09:47 > 0:09:50And likewise, young people can be insensitive.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Our kids are kind of grown-up now.
0:09:52 > 0:09:56The youngest two are 18, and one of my boys said...
0:09:56 > 0:09:59I said, "We're thinking of doing this next summer holiday."
0:09:59 > 0:10:00Know what he said?
0:10:00 > 0:10:03He said, "Well, you know, do whatever you want to do,
0:10:03 > 0:10:06"cos you've probably got, what, 20 summers left, max?"
0:10:08 > 0:10:12- He meant it!- He worked it out!- Yeah!
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Brackets - before I collect.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Do you think that's why...
0:10:18 > 0:10:21We forget that when we were younger, we wanted everything now...
0:10:21 > 0:10:23You COULD have everything now!
0:10:23 > 0:10:27- You could graduate school and buy a house for £20,000.- We did.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31We'd love to do that, so excuse me.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Do you think climate change is a hoax?
0:10:34 > 0:10:36- No, of course it's not a hoax. - Great.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38But it is your problem.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47OK. Going to move on to Denise Leech. Denise at the back there.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50Hi, Denise. We'll just get a microphone to you. Denise.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53- Thank you very much.- Hi, there. - What would you like to ask?
0:10:53 > 0:10:56It's just a bit of a dilemma because when my husband's away,
0:10:56 > 0:10:59I've got no-one to empty the bins.
0:10:59 > 0:11:00- Oh, right.- Yeah!
0:11:02 > 0:11:05Yeah, so are you very domesticated like that, Katherine?
0:11:05 > 0:11:07Do you always remember to put the rubbish out?
0:11:07 > 0:11:10I think if I didn't take the bins out, I don't know who would do it.
0:11:10 > 0:11:14One of my many staff. I think...
0:11:14 > 0:11:17Maybe it's just me - you sound really, really sexy, and
0:11:17 > 0:11:20forgive me for sounding old-fashioned,
0:11:20 > 0:11:22but it could work in your favour.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26I think sometimes - I do, I sound like an ape -
0:11:26 > 0:11:27but men like to feel powerful,
0:11:27 > 0:11:30so perhaps when he comes home, you could just be like,
0:11:30 > 0:11:34"Well, I just didn't know what to do without your waste management...
0:11:36 > 0:11:39"My bin really needs sorting out.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43"Can you just get up in my bin and take it out?
0:11:43 > 0:11:47"I don't know what I'd do without you. I'd be lost."
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Certainly one way to deal with it.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Larry, what were you thinking?
0:11:58 > 0:12:03I think the problem is, it's like, you know,
0:12:03 > 0:12:07like most of the rubbish I find, really, is all stuff that's recyclable,
0:12:07 > 0:12:10so that just goes in the recycling thing,
0:12:10 > 0:12:14and you don't really mind if you're overloaded with recycling cos it
0:12:14 > 0:12:17doesn't basically smell, it's just the other stuff that you really have
0:12:17 > 0:12:20to deal with, and if you just go for smaller volumes and you just
0:12:20 > 0:12:24take it out every day and put it in the dustbin,
0:12:24 > 0:12:28then really that should sort it out, shouldn't it?
0:12:28 > 0:12:32Well, you already know that because you're such a smart man, but I...
0:12:32 > 0:12:34LAUGHTER
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Do you ever go away and your husband is left, sort of,
0:12:39 > 0:12:43floundering cos you're...the tasks that YOU do aren't getting done?
0:12:43 > 0:12:49- Does he just starve?- Well, yeah. No, he cooks but he doesn't clean or...
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Cooks in your pants, probably.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54LAUGHTER
0:13:01 > 0:13:03And yet there's no denial!
0:13:04 > 0:13:07- Well, we don't know anything for sure, do we?- No!
0:13:07 > 0:13:11Thank you very much for raising the question and I hope we've
0:13:11 > 0:13:16been able to help a bit. I'm going to try Nick Morley next. Down here.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Thank you, Nick. I'll just get a mic to you. Nick.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23Yes, er, I'd like to ask the panel how do you deal with the situation
0:13:23 > 0:13:27when your son or daughter wants to bring home a boyfriend
0:13:27 > 0:13:31or girlfriend to sleep over for the first time in the same room?
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Hm-mm. ..as you?
0:13:33 > 0:13:35LAUGHTER
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Can I ask how old your kids are?
0:13:41 > 0:13:44I have a son of 22 and a daughter of 19.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Do you have the same rule for both your son and your daughter
0:13:46 > 0:13:48or are you more concerned about someone,
0:13:48 > 0:13:51like, wanking off your son or going down on your daughter? Which one...
0:13:53 > 0:13:58I've never thought of it that deeply before, but...
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Get to the point, Katherine!
0:14:01 > 0:14:03I love it when you talk helpful.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06You're a hypocrite because, as you know,
0:14:06 > 0:14:10every father wants his son to "get in there, boy," you know,
0:14:10 > 0:14:12with a girl - it's a different kettle of fish
0:14:12 > 0:14:14when it's your daughter cos you're thinking,
0:14:14 > 0:14:18- "You're not coming through my front door - I'll break your legs if you touch her."- Right.
0:14:18 > 0:14:22I've just heard your daughter's split up with her boyfriend, by the way.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26Larry, did you have a policy at any stage?
0:14:26 > 0:14:29I always chickened out and left it to their mother.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31It's a difficult one,
0:14:31 > 0:14:33but it just didn't sort of happen years and years ago,
0:14:33 > 0:14:35and suddenly you're confronted with this thing,
0:14:35 > 0:14:38you've got to deal with it and it was never going to be on the agenda
0:14:38 > 0:14:41that you'd have to deal with that, cos you just weren't allowed
0:14:41 > 0:14:44to do it, you were just about lucky enough to get in the front room!
0:14:44 > 0:14:45Is that what you used to call the...
0:14:45 > 0:14:48But upstairs certainly wasn't happening at all.
0:14:49 > 0:14:53Are "front room" and "upstairs" euphemisms at this point?
0:14:53 > 0:14:57I'm talking... I'm talking household geography.
0:14:57 > 0:15:01Windows, front room!
0:15:01 > 0:15:04I was about to say what do you do about a spare room,
0:15:04 > 0:15:06and I just thought...
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Well, it's good that you're more liberal with your son
0:15:09 > 0:15:12and he's older so your daughter gets to watch that interaction first,
0:15:12 > 0:15:15and I think it is a worry for every parent from when they
0:15:15 > 0:15:18transition from being your children to being other adults,
0:15:18 > 0:15:21and your son's an adult, but what he must remember,
0:15:21 > 0:15:25if you're making that transition, is that YOU are also an adult.
0:15:25 > 0:15:26You're not a parent,
0:15:26 > 0:15:31a sexless old man - you are still getting it in yourself...
0:15:33 > 0:15:36I think you need to have a real chat with both
0:15:36 > 0:15:38your son and his girlfriend and be like,
0:15:38 > 0:15:41"You know, here's MY special move with the third finger
0:15:41 > 0:15:46"and your mother really loves my moustache, you know what I mean?"
0:15:46 > 0:15:48And just...
0:15:48 > 0:15:51If he wants to be an adult, then he has to see you as an adult,
0:15:51 > 0:15:55otherwise he's a child in your home - no nookie.
0:15:55 > 0:16:00I mean, what's wrong with a bit of waste ground? I mean, really.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Do what Jack does - just put the guest in one of the other houses.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Yeah.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08Then you don't even have to meet them.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10I don't know about the generational thing.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13My parents are very easy-going. I could bring anyone back.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16I just couldn't find anyone who'd agree to.
0:16:17 > 0:16:22Nick, I hope we've given you a few little pointers there, and...
0:16:22 > 0:16:24- Yes, you've been VERY helpful. - Ah, good.- Thank you.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Just a tone of sarcasm we could have done without.
0:16:29 > 0:16:33Doing our best here. I'm going to try and find Grace now.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37Grace Sorrell. Ah, right down here. Thank you. Hi, Grace.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41I wondered if the panel has any advice on leaving public toilets
0:16:41 > 0:16:42after washing your hands,
0:16:42 > 0:16:46- so kind of getting out without getting them dirty again.- Yeah.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49So this is the problem that the handle is often covered
0:16:49 > 0:16:53- in bacteria because not everyone washes their hands.- Yeah, exactly.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Thanks for bringing that one up at suppertime.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59- What would you do, Jeremy? - Just stay there.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01LAUGHTER
0:17:01 > 0:17:02Three or four hours later,
0:17:02 > 0:17:06you're going to have to go again anyway, aren't you? Or wet wipes.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08I always travel with wet wipes now,
0:17:08 > 0:17:10because the beauty of an antibacterial wet wipe,
0:17:10 > 0:17:12which we didn't used to have...
0:17:12 > 0:17:15When I was young, we had that tracing paper lavatory paper,
0:17:15 > 0:17:18called Izal Medicated, that didn't absorb -
0:17:18 > 0:17:21it just kind of massaged it.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24But now you've got wet wipes,
0:17:24 > 0:17:28which not only you can sterilise the lavatory seat so you can sit on it,
0:17:28 > 0:17:33and also the bit around where lower, dangly things might...
0:17:33 > 0:17:36You can do that. And then you can sterilise your hands.
0:17:36 > 0:17:40What's really nice is when people with babies leave their baby wipes
0:17:40 > 0:17:43in your house and leave and they accidentally... You think, "Oh!
0:17:43 > 0:17:44"I can have a luxury poo!"
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Cos that's all, like,
0:17:48 > 0:17:52moisturiser and baby-tender skin with aloe vera and chemicals
0:17:52 > 0:17:54and it bungs up the sewage system,
0:17:54 > 0:17:58but that's a really nice poo to have, when you get...
0:17:58 > 0:18:00You could just lick your hands clean afterwards,
0:18:00 > 0:18:03- after you've touched the... - GROANS
0:18:03 > 0:18:04- I'm trying to help!- Yeah.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05LAUGHTER
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Cats lick their bums, don't they?
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Exactly, and then they lick you, so it's all the same thing.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Larry, I've been thinking, in the jungle,
0:18:13 > 0:18:18- what do they give you for that? - Nothing. Nothing at all. It's raw.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21- Well, it's usually raw, anyway. - Yeah, I know.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24- They give you toilet paper?- Oh, yeah, there's toilet paper there.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26They don't go THAT crazy.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29I mean, you don't have to go and find a handful of grass, you know.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32- It's civilised in that way. - Oh, right, yeah!
0:18:32 > 0:18:35And there's a bowl there so you can wash your hands afterwards.
0:18:35 > 0:18:40- So it's unlike the rest of Australia?- Exactly!
0:18:40 > 0:18:42We'll...
0:18:42 > 0:18:46Thank you, Grace. We're going to try and find Sarah Clayton next.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49- Sarah's in the front row here. How can we help you, Sarah?- Hello.- Hi.
0:18:49 > 0:18:54- My neighbour's cats make themselves at home in my garden, where they are deeply unwelcome.- OK.
0:18:54 > 0:18:58Short of murder, what else can you suggest to get rid of the things?
0:18:58 > 0:19:04Ah! I heard about this. You put bits of lemon all around your garden.
0:19:04 > 0:19:08They do not like lemons. So try it.
0:19:08 > 0:19:12Chop up some lemons and put 'em around your garden, right?
0:19:12 > 0:19:16- But they might evolve to make lemonade.- Well...
0:19:16 > 0:19:19- But they don't like lemon. - What do they do in your garden?
0:19:19 > 0:19:21I mean, why do you hate cats so much?
0:19:21 > 0:19:26They patrol my garden, they kill my birds and they eat my bird food.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28You said short of murder - did it cross your mind?
0:19:28 > 0:19:32- And did you think how you might do it?- It has crossed my mind.- Yeah?
0:19:32 > 0:19:36- Well, I'm a very kind, gentle human being...- You sound it.- ..but...
0:19:36 > 0:19:38LAUGHTER
0:19:38 > 0:19:41If you have experience of lion-scented pellets,
0:19:41 > 0:19:44because I'm toying with buying the lion-scented pellets.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46That's what I've heard as well - lions.
0:19:46 > 0:19:50You put lion stuff in the garden.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Larry hears a lot of stuff! Have you noticed?
0:19:53 > 0:19:57Apparently it works cos they're terrified until they figure out
0:19:57 > 0:20:01and think, "Sarah, you don't look like someone who's got a lion."
0:20:01 > 0:20:04- Jeremy, what do you think? - If you feed other people's cats,
0:20:04 > 0:20:06eventually they like you and they come and live with you,
0:20:06 > 0:20:10- and then they'll be in your house, not so much in your garden.- Hm.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14Or feed the cat so much it can't really move properly any more,
0:20:14 > 0:20:16and then just lower it back over the fence.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20You won't see that cat again in a hurry.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24OK. There's always a wheelie bin, isn't there, for people like you?
0:20:26 > 0:20:29Um... Well, Sarah, good luck with that.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32I hope we've given you some things to think about.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35I want to try and find Tom Lowenstein in the audience.
0:20:35 > 0:20:39- Tom, hello. Hi, Tom.- Hi, guys.- You all right?- Yes, very well, thanks.
0:20:39 > 0:20:40Good, good.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43So I just want to know, if all these people who quit their steady jobs
0:20:43 > 0:20:46to follow their dreams are really loving it as much
0:20:46 > 0:20:49as they say they are, or are they just lying about it?
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Oh, they're lying. They're absolutely terrified.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53Yeah, they don't know what's going to happen,
0:20:53 > 0:20:56but they just want you to think that they've made a good choice.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59- What is your job, in fact, Tom? - So I'm a content manager.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02- You're a content manager? - Yeah - sounds dead exciting!
0:21:02 > 0:21:04No, I just want to know what your dream is.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07I'd like to set up a bar-cafe, but I'm terrified that if I do,
0:21:07 > 0:21:09I'm basically just going to work 80 hours
0:21:09 > 0:21:10a week and be broke and miserable.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14That's a lousy dream, isn't it?
0:21:14 > 0:21:1580 hours...
0:21:15 > 0:21:17Well, you've got to work hard for your dream.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20I want to do it but I've got a steady job. What should I do?
0:21:20 > 0:21:21So you're thinking,
0:21:21 > 0:21:25"I want to follow my dreams but I am lazy so I'm not going to"?
0:21:25 > 0:21:27You're looking very thoughtful, Larry.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Yeah, well, because to me,
0:21:29 > 0:21:32having come from the world you're in, where you've got a steady job
0:21:32 > 0:21:35and whatever else, the only thing that every appealed to me was,
0:21:35 > 0:21:39like, if there's an opportunity and I feel I ought to do
0:21:39 > 0:21:42something else, just grab it, man, cos you don't want to be
0:21:42 > 0:21:45sitting round 25 years from now wishing you had.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47- Yeah.- Just go for it.
0:21:47 > 0:21:48Yeah.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55Don't... Don't start doing all the bit about,
0:21:55 > 0:21:58"I got a steady job and I've got all this and I might do that..."
0:21:58 > 0:22:01You know, you could walk out of here and get run over by
0:22:01 > 0:22:03a truck - you could be dead!
0:22:03 > 0:22:08- If you've got a dream, just go and grab it!- Yeah.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Tom, Tom Lowenstein from Brixton,
0:22:10 > 0:22:13are you ready to hand in your notice live on television?
0:22:13 > 0:22:15LAUGHTER
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Phone it in, Tom! Phone it in now!
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Phone it in! Send them a text saying, "I've quit."
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Yeah, my boss might be watching,
0:22:22 > 0:22:24so it might be a bit late for that, anyway, to be honest.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Tom, good luck. If you haven't... Have you got commitments? Family?
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Yeah, lots of commitments. I have a mortgage, child.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32- So it's hard to make that choice. - I think this is a worrying trend.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34I think sometimes people have got to be happy.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37You think of somebody who's a multi-billionaire with
0:22:37 > 0:22:40inherited wealth and a succession of trophy wives who was a reality star
0:22:40 > 0:22:44in the United States and he thinks, "What am I doing with my life?
0:22:44 > 0:22:49"There must be more than all this wealth and on-tap sex.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51"I want the nuclear codes."
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Let's go to Suzanne Miller from Enfield.
0:23:00 > 0:23:04- Let's see if we can find you. There you are. Suzanne.- Hello.
0:23:04 > 0:23:08- Now, what would you like to ask? - I'm on Tinder.- Hm-mm.
0:23:08 > 0:23:13The issue that I have is that when I match somebody, if they're
0:23:13 > 0:23:19not my height or a little bit over, I feel quite bad rejecting them.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21I just wondered if anyone had any tips.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Jeremy?
0:23:23 > 0:23:24LAUGHTER
0:23:26 > 0:23:30So you want people who are not as...who aren't tall enough
0:23:30 > 0:23:36- to be taken off Tinder?- No, I just want to let them down gently.- Hm.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39And when I ask the height question, they get
0:23:39 > 0:23:43a bit upset, and...so I just wanted to see whether there's a way of...
0:23:43 > 0:23:47You can do it lying down! I mean, there's so many different...
0:23:48 > 0:23:49There's so many...
0:23:49 > 0:23:52I know you're on Tinder but it doesn't always have to be
0:23:52 > 0:23:54in public lavatories. There are hotel rooms.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58There are places where the relative height needn't matter quite so much.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01Why do you feel like you need to let them down gently?
0:24:01 > 0:24:04Because this is an app where you literally dismiss someone
0:24:04 > 0:24:06from your life just by swiping...
0:24:06 > 0:24:07They're gone!
0:24:07 > 0:24:12Gone! Gone! Don't worry about it. Do it!
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Do it even to the tall ones, just to see how it feels. Liberate yourself.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17Boom, boom. Do it in life.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21If someone just gets in your face, just go "Boom! Don't need you.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23"Too short!"
0:24:23 > 0:24:27You probably once turned down Prince and you didn't even know.
0:24:27 > 0:24:31You don't know how tall they are until you've matched them
0:24:31 > 0:24:34and you ask their height, unless they have their height in
0:24:34 > 0:24:36their profile, which a lot of the shorter ones don't.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39- Ah, OK. Well...- Boom!- Yeah!
0:24:39 > 0:24:44OK, Larry, any thoughts on the modern dating scene?
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Yeah, I really don't understand it, but, I mean, the thing is...
0:24:46 > 0:24:49It's basically what you're saying.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51You've just got to...the truth - "Sorry, I'm looking for
0:24:51 > 0:24:55"a bloke who's six foot six." That's it. That's it.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Well, we'll keep a look-out for him, Larry.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Suzanne, have we helped you at all there? I think...
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Yeah, it's been very helpful, thank you.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Thank you very much for asking that question. We've time for one more, probably.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08I'm going to try to find Genevra Griggs next.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10- Hiya.- Hello. - What can we help you with?
0:25:10 > 0:25:15My job, I'm field-based, so I have to do some admin at home
0:25:15 > 0:25:20and sometimes that means that sometimes I'm the last to leave
0:25:20 > 0:25:24the house in the morning and the first to get back in the afternoon,
0:25:24 > 0:25:27and my housemates, when they return from their 9-5, well,
0:25:27 > 0:25:30they tease me and say I haven't left the house when I have,
0:25:30 > 0:25:33I've been working very hard - so how do I convince my housemates
0:25:33 > 0:25:36that I'm actually a very hard worker?
0:25:36 > 0:25:37So they come back,
0:25:37 > 0:25:40see you're at home like you were when they left, and you're
0:25:40 > 0:25:43having a hard time convincing them that you've been in a field?
0:25:45 > 0:25:48OK. Katherine, what are your thoughts on that one?
0:25:48 > 0:25:50I mean, I think it's a budget issue.
0:25:50 > 0:25:55It sounds to me like your fuck budget is too high.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58You just need to give no fucks at all
0:25:58 > 0:26:01about what these people think of you.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04You see, my budget was rock-bottom, real low.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07I haven't given any fucks since 1985.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10Are these your friends or just people you've been placed with?
0:26:10 > 0:26:12No, no, we're close friends.
0:26:12 > 0:26:13I haven't lived in the house very long,
0:26:13 > 0:26:15but we are very good friends,
0:26:15 > 0:26:21and I think I'm very career-orientated, I love work, and the fact that...
0:26:21 > 0:26:24I think they've just picked up that it gets to me a little bit.
0:26:24 > 0:26:28I'm very easy-going but I think that they like to tease me a little bit.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31You're easy-going except if they mention, "Wow, you're home early!"
0:26:31 > 0:26:33LAUGHTER
0:26:33 > 0:26:36"What have you been doing?" "I've been working. I've been in a field.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39- "All day."- I mean, do you like working in this field?
0:26:41 > 0:26:44I want to clear up, I don't actually work in a field.
0:26:44 > 0:26:48We're just finding something else to wind you up about.
0:26:48 > 0:26:52- I work really hard, OK, guys?! - Really?
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Well, why are you home so early every day?
0:26:59 > 0:27:01And the other thing, of course,
0:27:01 > 0:27:06is always remember to take the duvet off the sofa before they all come home.
0:27:06 > 0:27:10All right, well, thank you - it was an interesting question - thank you very much.
0:27:10 > 0:27:11We've all but run out of time,
0:27:11 > 0:27:14and I've got so many we didn't get round to, so here are a few.
0:27:14 > 0:27:19Holly Williams says, "What's the best way to rescue
0:27:19 > 0:27:22"a Hollandaise sauce if you've overworked it?"
0:27:22 > 0:27:23LAUGHTER
0:27:23 > 0:27:28You, er... Evidently... I remember this.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32Cos I had a French friend who was a really good cook,
0:27:32 > 0:27:35and we got in this jam and I happen to know what you do,
0:27:35 > 0:27:38- is you take it off the heat and you put an egg yolk in.- Ah.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41And that brings it back, does it? There we are.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48- Get a millennial to do it. They don't over-work.- That's it.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50If that doesn't work,
0:27:50 > 0:27:54take it to A&E cos that's where people take most of their problems.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57Harry Brennan from Kent says, "What's the best way to get
0:27:57 > 0:28:00"a cat poo stain out of a Porsche's convertible roof?"
0:28:01 > 0:28:05And I should say, Harry, if it's the Porsche convertible that was
0:28:05 > 0:28:08parted outside the King's Head last Saturday, it's not cat poo.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15Dave Fletcher from Norfolk says, "Where's the best place
0:28:15 > 0:28:18"to keep an iPhone on the beach to keep it out of the sun?"
0:28:18 > 0:28:20Britain.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:28:22 > 0:28:23All right.
0:28:25 > 0:28:29That, sadly, is pretty much all we've got time for,
0:28:29 > 0:28:31and I'd like to thank my helpers.
0:28:31 > 0:28:34Larry Lamb.
0:28:34 > 0:28:36Andi Osho.
0:28:36 > 0:28:37Katherine Ryan.
0:28:37 > 0:28:38And Jeremy Hardy.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44So, before we go, I'll leave you with this.
0:28:44 > 0:28:46When faced with problems, I think of the quote,
0:28:46 > 0:28:50"Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary"
0:28:50 > 0:28:53and it's that sentiment that gives me the resolve to finally
0:28:53 > 0:28:56get round to watching the second series of Peaky Blinders.
0:28:56 > 0:28:58Goodnight.