:00:29. > :00:41.APPLAUSE Hello and welcome to Jack Dee's
:00:42. > :00:48.Referendum Helpdesk. Britain is facing a huge decision. I, with my
:00:49. > :00:53.four helpers will try to guide you which way to go with the help of
:00:54. > :00:57.audience questions. My panel have not seen the questions but I've
:00:58. > :01:05.taken out those that have been deemed likely to be biased or cause
:01:06. > :01:11.violence. Half an hour and five questions. Everything with what's up
:01:12. > :01:16.with their stupid plugs to wider they always screw us at Eurovision.
:01:17. > :01:19.A comedian who is a vegan former maths teacher who loves comics and
:01:20. > :01:26.computer games. If that doesn't scream cool, I don't know what does.
:01:27. > :01:31.Romesh Ranganathan. She is the host of Countryfile, and
:01:32. > :01:41.as a former Strictly contested cheese in a class of on. She still
:01:42. > :01:44.married to husband! Anita Rani. A comedian from Ontario. You might
:01:45. > :01:48.think, what's Britain's place in Europe got to do with a Canadian,
:01:49. > :01:57.which is ridiculous, what's anything to do with a Canadian? Katherine
:01:58. > :02:00.Ryan. My final guest is perfect for this show. If there is one thing we
:02:01. > :02:09.love its being told what to do by German. It's Henning Wehn. The
:02:10. > :02:15.debate has been hotting up this week. It's a difficult one, in many
:02:16. > :02:19.ways this is the biggest element Brits have faced over Europe other
:02:20. > :02:23.than should they go to the STI clinic after that holiday in Greece?
:02:24. > :02:34.Onto the questions from the audience. This is fairly random, but
:02:35. > :02:43.Corran Curtis from London, what would you like to ask? If we leave,
:02:44. > :02:51.can we make Starburst Opal Fruits again? Good question. We have had to
:02:52. > :03:09.change a lot of names because of Europe. We had to change Oil of Ulay
:03:10. > :03:15.to Oil of Olay. And Snickers bars became marathons. Would you like to
:03:16. > :03:25.go back to Starburst? In many ways I couldn't give a shit. That's my
:03:26. > :03:30.initial instinct. I suppose it's fun when you go on holiday and you think
:03:31. > :03:37.it's different, it's called subbing different here! They call chocolate
:03:38. > :03:42.fingers dog shits. There's some fun to be had with that. And Opal Fruits
:03:43. > :03:48.would count towards your five per day. I like Starburst come in have
:03:49. > :03:55.more flavours. You had purple ones now. I don't even remember what they
:03:56. > :04:01.were called. Opal Fruitss. That's when we had sovereignty. You have
:04:02. > :04:05.more variety in flavour in Starburst. They have mixed flavours
:04:06. > :04:12.as well. Never go backwards. Keep moving forwards. I really wish I had
:04:13. > :04:16.been here before Britain joined the Common market. The lives you people
:04:17. > :04:25.lead! It must have been a national paradise, from what I hear. It was,
:04:26. > :04:32.wasn't it? Had to work three days a week. Very low electricity bills.
:04:33. > :04:39.Outside toilets. Happy days, they were. I think what the referendum is
:04:40. > :04:44.really missing, in America Donald Trump has got a lot of favouritism
:04:45. > :04:48.from people who care about things they like. He's promised more guns
:04:49. > :04:55.and racism. Here it's really difficult to say, this terrible
:04:56. > :04:57.politician says... This terrible politician says... You don't want to
:04:58. > :05:02.attach yourself to either argument because they dodgy on both sides. Do
:05:03. > :05:11.you have anxieties about staying or leaving? Genuine anxieties? Do you
:05:12. > :05:15.know what it is, it's the first time I remember being aware that Europe
:05:16. > :05:19.actually had an impact on us in Britain rather than it just being
:05:20. > :05:25.part of our geographical location. When we had to change from Opal
:05:26. > :05:32.Fruits to Starburst? How long did it take to deal with that? It still
:05:33. > :05:40.hurts. It's traumatising. Moving on, Ben from Suffolk. I have seen a lot
:05:41. > :05:45.of propaganda saying that if we leave Europe then we will lose out
:05:46. > :05:49.on things like equal pay and other stuff the EU has given us. Surely we
:05:50. > :05:58.would have come up with some of that stuff on our own without being part
:05:59. > :06:03.of this hive mind? In essentially we invented it on our own anyway. In
:06:04. > :06:05.Canada, they kind of do stuff on their own, don't they? They don't
:06:06. > :06:10.consider themselves part of the United States. They don't consider
:06:11. > :06:14.themselves part of the night estates, no, because they are
:06:15. > :06:22.definitely not. -- of the United States. You can't choose your
:06:23. > :06:27.neighbours, can you? There is always a slight fear that we might be too
:06:28. > :06:30.thick to really make this decision properly. You start reading all the
:06:31. > :06:34.stuff on your thing, I don't understand. I will look to see how
:06:35. > :06:38.money people I hate are on the side I don't want to vote for. That's the
:06:39. > :06:42.way you end up making the decision. But nobody knows the answer, that's
:06:43. > :06:46.the thing. Everybody guessing, both sides saying it's the end of days
:06:47. > :06:51.and the apocalypse if you do the other. All these figures bandied
:06:52. > :06:58.about and nobody knows. That's why we are sitting here. The campaigning
:06:59. > :07:02.will not change anything. The referendum is three days after
:07:03. > :07:07.England's final group game at Euro 2016. How that goes will define
:07:08. > :07:12.everything. If England steam-roll the opposition in all the games, we
:07:13. > :07:18.will be, bloody hell, we don't need anybody else, Brexit guaranteed. And
:07:19. > :07:20.if in the final game we have something still riding on it and
:07:21. > :07:24.there is a massive refereeing decision against England, and the
:07:25. > :07:29.referee happens to be German or French, then it's guaranteed Brexit.
:07:30. > :07:37.The only way Britain will stay in, if England play a totally
:07:38. > :07:45.unremarkable campaign. I think we have nothing to worry about. Is
:07:46. > :07:48.that... What are you thinking after those wise comments? Yeah, it makes
:07:49. > :08:04.sense, really. I think that's why I signed up for
:08:05. > :08:14.this, to change lives. Looking for Mrs Emmett from Stanmore. The
:08:15. > :08:19.question is, if we do stay, how quick can we get a room in hospital
:08:20. > :08:25.if needed? Is this a urgent, do you need a... I don't need it but I know
:08:26. > :08:31.plenty to do. Do you think at the moment if we leave it might be a
:08:32. > :08:36.worse situation? No. It will be better? If we stay in it will be
:08:37. > :08:40.terrible. If we leave it will be better. Why will there be a better
:08:41. > :08:45.chance of getting a bed in hospital if we leave? They are using a lot of
:08:46. > :08:53.the hospital wards as polling stations. What has given you that
:08:54. > :09:00.impression, that by leaving it will be worse? Because of how may people
:09:01. > :09:04.have come into this country, and how can we cope with all this? The
:09:05. > :09:10.question is being asked over and over again. There is no answer. The
:09:11. > :09:12.thing is, it will be easier to get a bed, but there will be no one there
:09:13. > :09:31.to treat you. Exactly. What exactly did you do 20 years
:09:32. > :09:35.ago? Me personally? Anybody? Hospitals were always there, the
:09:36. > :09:39.help was always there. Everything was amazing. And you feel now that
:09:40. > :09:44.because there is only more people in the country...? Absolutely. It's all
:09:45. > :09:49.too busy and you are worried about that. Henning Wehn makes a good
:09:50. > :09:57.point, we get a lot of doctors and nurses from Europe. Where did they
:09:58. > :10:01.come from before? We had countries with the most beautiful people
:10:02. > :10:04.coming to help. We have increased immigration of doctors and nurses
:10:05. > :10:08.with people coming in. And you have to allow doctors in, even if they
:10:09. > :10:15.are ugly. You can't just say you are not good enough to treat me. The
:10:16. > :10:19.migrant thing is really interesting. I have had conversations with family
:10:20. > :10:23.members and aunties and uncles, not real ones, that's what I call them.
:10:24. > :10:26.The one thing that comes up in conversation is that they are coming
:10:27. > :10:37.here with their different culture and food... Taking the jobs. I'm
:10:38. > :10:41.like, 32nd memory. -- 30 second memory. It's a conversation that
:10:42. > :10:44.happened for a longer time. My grandfather came in 50 years ago and
:10:45. > :10:50.again we blame the migrants for all the problems we have. Migrants and
:10:51. > :10:59.Brussels, bizarrely. It's some form of corrects. -- of Tourette's. I
:11:00. > :11:09.have cut my finger... Bloody Brussels. Trying to find Fiona now
:11:10. > :11:14.from Oxford. What would you like to ask? I'm concerned that if we choose
:11:15. > :11:21.to exit the EU, then we would have to give Christmas back to the
:11:22. > :11:31.Germans. APPLAUSE OK. But the Germans... All the
:11:32. > :11:35.Germans have done with Christmas, they introduced the Christmas tree.
:11:36. > :11:43.That was Prince Albert. And the Christmas markets. You fought us
:11:44. > :11:50.during the war and now you are all eating Stollen. What's particularly
:11:51. > :11:54.German about Christmas in your home, Fiona? I find it difficult to
:11:55. > :11:58.conceive of Christmas without the Hamburg market in Birmingham. It's
:11:59. > :12:05.all right. I went to the opening last year as 18 Christmas market to.
:12:06. > :12:11.-- as a keen Christmas market visitor. I was shocked how many of
:12:12. > :12:34.my countrymen these days are fluent in the Romania language. The funny
:12:35. > :12:38.thing about integration assimilation, they are German...
:12:39. > :12:46.They are German. The last member of their lot born in Germany was Prince
:12:47. > :12:48.Albert in 1819. Why don't they all go back to Germany? It's not that
:12:49. > :13:00.easy to integrate, is it? But we will still have our Christmas
:13:01. > :13:04.tree in Trafalgar Square, that's a gift from Norway, and they are not
:13:05. > :13:12.part of the U, so we are safe on that front. Remember what Vera Lynn
:13:13. > :13:14.said, There'll Always Be An England. Always about the war with you, isn't
:13:15. > :13:33.it? Tara Jeffrey from Surrey. Right at
:13:34. > :13:42.the back. If we opt out of the EU, and it doesn't work out, can we opt
:13:43. > :13:45.back in? If we opt out, can we hopped back in like a revolving door
:13:46. > :13:49.business? One of the things in the debate that is not publicised is
:13:50. > :13:56.that there is a 40 day cooling off period. You can have a look around,
:13:57. > :14:00.see how it's going, if you decide you don't like it, you've got the
:14:01. > :14:07.receipt. What do you think, will it be like that?
:14:08. > :14:14.One trouble is not knowing whether you will be welcomed back. If the
:14:15. > :14:21.you begins looking good, grows a beard, gets a better job... Start
:14:22. > :14:26.dating somebody younger than us... -- if the EU.
:14:27. > :14:38.Perhaps Angela Merkel could be like at a nightclub. We just went out for
:14:39. > :14:44.a cigarette, we are back! Do you have commitment problems, would you
:14:45. > :14:49.prefer to have the option? I thought it could be like, try before you
:14:50. > :14:52.buy. Britain does not want to be seen as the difficult girlfriend of
:14:53. > :14:58.Europe... LAUGHTER Says she loves me... It is only when
:14:59. > :15:07.we're drunk. We are drunk all of the time! Britain is mainly seen as the
:15:08. > :15:10.mad uncle, to be honest. Yes, I reckon people abroad look with a
:15:11. > :15:16.certain degree of bemusement at what is happening in the UK more than
:15:17. > :15:22.anything else, you come to a decision, and then, there we are.
:15:23. > :15:37.Nicely put, thank you Henning will Martin Barker, from Berkshire.
:15:38. > :15:45.Getting a microphone to you. If we stay in or out of the EU, will it
:15:46. > :15:57.affect the cost of the tomato? -- gelato. By which you mean ice cream?
:15:58. > :16:02.No, I mean gelato. Security, please. LAUGHTER
:16:03. > :16:09.The problem with remaining in the EU, it is a problem of having low
:16:10. > :16:13.skilled gelato. If we leave, you will see an increase in the kind of
:16:14. > :16:20.gelato that we want to see in this country. I am against it, because
:16:21. > :16:29.those gelatos, they come over here, they take our cones. There has been
:16:30. > :16:35.talk of higher gross rebuild if we leave, you can afford to splash out
:16:36. > :16:40.a little bit extra on gelato if you have to pay more for it. How many
:16:41. > :16:49.litres a day are you eating? As many as possible. Sounds as though you
:16:50. > :16:51.are clearly a Europhile, and soon to be diabetic... (!) LAUGHTER
:16:52. > :16:57.Just so I know, what is the difference between gelato and ice
:16:58. > :17:05.cream? Gelato Tastes better, because life is too short to be the bad ice
:17:06. > :17:09.cream. Can we grow our own? We can make our own, but we need Italians
:17:10. > :17:14.to do it, the Italians must be here to make the best. That is a funny
:17:15. > :17:18.misconception, actually, because it is a known fact that in most Italian
:17:19. > :17:26.restaurants, the staff are actually Albanian. But I could not care less,
:17:27. > :17:30.as long as they say "bongiorno" and put some Brylcreem in their hair,
:17:31. > :17:36.that will do me! Sun newspaper article will say, absolute disgrace,
:17:37. > :17:43.it is being made by Albanians, four years! A few years ago, it turned
:17:44. > :17:49.out that Hungarian 's were making sandwiches. Hungarian is making
:17:50. > :17:52.British sandwiches? The Marks Spencer sandwiches were not made in
:17:53. > :17:58.Britain, they were being made in Hungary. And then brought over? And
:17:59. > :17:59.then eaten by British people that... They
:18:00. > :18:09.of it! They would not have eaten that foreign muck otherwise! Makes
:18:10. > :18:13.me feel sick just to think about it. One thing, in the EU, there are
:18:14. > :18:18.regulations on food, you have to be very careful, if we say goodbye to
:18:19. > :18:22.those, Americans will begin pushing in and saying, how about this
:18:23. > :18:24.terrible food, that will kill us all in an instant! You will never get a
:18:25. > :18:39.hospital bed then! LAUGHTER The Leave campaign, has started...
:18:40. > :18:46.They are planning for the British Curry going. They are going to build
:18:47. > :18:50.a big Curry, because the curry houses are under threat from
:18:51. > :18:53.Brussels. Nobody likes a Brussels in a curry. That is a lethal
:18:54. > :19:06.combination! I imagine the cost of food and goods
:19:07. > :19:11.might crop up again. Do keep listening, if you are not busy
:19:12. > :19:36.eating "gelato"... Anastacia... Where are you from?
:19:37. > :19:43.Essex? South Benfleet...? Are you from South Benfleet in Essex? Yes, I
:19:44. > :19:50.am from Essex. Why didn't you say so, you are wasting people's time...
:19:51. > :19:54.(!) what is your question? If we stay in the you, will Britain have
:19:55. > :19:59.to change driving on the right hand side? Will we have to drive on the
:20:00. > :20:02.right hand side? Like on the continent. Would you be happy about
:20:03. > :20:20.that? Do you drive? No. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER
:20:21. > :20:24.Are you people taking this seriously? What is going on here,
:20:25. > :20:28.man? You just want to know which way to look, when you are crossing a
:20:29. > :20:34.road. Look both ways, cover both bases. People are so confused that
:20:35. > :20:38.the question has become, if you change everything, how will it
:20:39. > :20:40.change everything? But if we leave it the same, how will it change
:20:41. > :20:51.everything? LAUGHTER I quite like having to switch over,
:20:52. > :20:56.you know when you drive abroad on holiday, and then you are unsure,
:20:57. > :21:01.you might kill a foreigner. There is something quite fun about that. You
:21:02. > :21:04.rent a car, you try to hide the damage you have done, because you
:21:05. > :21:11.are not used to driving on the other side, a great tip: rented a car in
:21:12. > :21:16.Portugal, on the wrong side, they drive, damaged rear lights. Just
:21:17. > :21:20.gathered up the glass, put it into a carrier bag, carried on with the
:21:21. > :21:24.holiday, went to drop off the car, left it in the car park, sprinkled
:21:25. > :21:28.the glass in the car park. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE
:21:29. > :21:35.LAUGHTER If we did take that extraordinary
:21:36. > :21:40.measure of saying, no we will move over to the other side of the road,
:21:41. > :21:45.how would we do that? Amnesty? It is OK if you crash, not your full,
:21:46. > :21:49.still getting used to it? There is something to be said for having
:21:50. > :21:53.fewer things telling us what to do, less traffic lights, exhibition
:21:54. > :21:57.Road, they have nothing, no road markings, nothing, it is basically,
:21:58. > :22:01.you pay more attention if you do not know that there is something telling
:22:02. > :22:07.you what to do, become more alert. Maybe we should just have a bit of
:22:08. > :22:11.chaos! Let it go. Can I tell you, that road you are talking about,
:22:12. > :22:13.that is a pedestrian precinct. LAUGHTER
:22:14. > :22:25.Does that answer your question? It was a bit of a tongue in cheek
:22:26. > :22:32.question. It was a bit of a tongue in cheek question...! A little bit
:22:33. > :22:46.cheeky! We will move on, and key for raising that is a worry. Let's go
:22:47. > :22:50.to... Sue Steed, Stevenage. 80% of the children being born in London at
:22:51. > :22:57.the time were declared to be at the Norwich in by their parents, I read
:22:58. > :23:02.about that last year. I know that it is going to be difficult for them to
:23:03. > :23:11.integrate. -- were declared to be ethnic minority by their parents. I
:23:12. > :23:15.wonder what the panel would say? I was a small percentage, in my
:23:16. > :23:23.school, the only brown face, in a sea of white faces, I think I am all
:23:24. > :23:29.right. I have done OK. LAUGHTER I have direct experience, it is not
:23:30. > :23:33.an issue, as a cruel prank, my parents sent me to an all French
:23:34. > :23:36.school, I walked into the class, I thought the whole world was that
:23:37. > :23:41.way! My parents did not speak any French. But when you are small, you
:23:42. > :23:46.absorb it so quickly, I do not think that I held the rest of my children
:23:47. > :23:58.back, I can speak decent French, and so... It did not hurt.
:23:59. > :24:08.Henning, how long have you been speaking English? I have been here
:24:09. > :24:12.for 14 years. How much did you learn in Germany? Very little, just the
:24:13. > :24:18.grammar. That will set you up nicely. Come over here and say, I
:24:19. > :24:24.was, you were, then you live in London for a while and you say, I
:24:25. > :24:33.was, you was, all of that... LAUGHTER
:24:34. > :24:39.My children would come under ethnic minority, but they speak English,
:24:40. > :24:50.they are English children. They have other issues... LAUGHTER
:24:51. > :24:56.The second one will shit everywhere, but that is not because he is an
:24:57. > :25:05.ethnic Norwich, it is because he is a -- ethnic minority, it is because
:25:06. > :25:12.he is a twit. It is the wide range of children's languages that
:25:13. > :25:16.teachers must adjust to, it is not just going into school, brown face,
:25:17. > :25:20.the only brown face in the school, if that school has 15 different
:25:21. > :25:26.languages over two classes, that becomes a difficulty. Are used to be
:25:27. > :25:30.a teacher, we had kids speaking different languages in the school,
:25:31. > :25:35.I'm sure other teachers made an effort, just because I didn't,
:25:36. > :25:39.doesn't mean they didn't. LAUGHTER Get them speaking it as quickly as
:25:40. > :25:44.possible. When you say it is not the face of Britain, I think it is, this
:25:45. > :25:50.is the face of Britain, look around us, it is Mohammed Ahmed, great man,
:25:51. > :25:55.one of his brilliant speeches, he said, look at all of the fantastic
:25:56. > :25:59.quotes and obituaries of this incredible man, he stood up for what
:26:00. > :26:03.his country was doing, going into war, and he said, I'm not going to
:26:04. > :26:07.do that, it is not what I believe to be morally right. -- Muhammad Ali.
:26:08. > :26:14.He said that it is not the Vietnamese calling him anything. Now
:26:15. > :26:17.I have been swept away! But he also said, he talked about being American
:26:18. > :26:24.and saying, I am the face of America. And so when we talk about
:26:25. > :26:30.not used to kids from different countries being in Britain, looking
:26:31. > :26:32.like our children, but this is modern Britain, that is what we must
:26:33. > :26:41.get used to. APPLAUSE
:26:42. > :26:46.I agree with everything you just said, there are still battles to be
:26:47. > :26:54.fought, even on some panel shows, they segregate by colour... LAUGHTER
:26:55. > :27:07.APPLAUSE At least we are on! LAUGHTER
:27:08. > :27:19.I am just the man in the middle, I have an eye for it, and I think I
:27:20. > :27:23.thought, they match. LAUGHTER It is all about the ascetics. We did
:27:24. > :27:29.not get around as many as I would like to, try to get some of these
:27:30. > :27:39.slightly quicker... Alan Donnelly, from Essex, he asks, should we stay
:27:40. > :27:47.in on the condition that David Hasselhoff becomes president of the
:27:48. > :27:51.EU? No! I am glad that I did not get round to some of these, James, from
:27:52. > :27:55.London, will hotels be allowed to serve on the mental breakfast?
:27:56. > :28:04.LAUGHTER -- continental breakfast. I think
:28:05. > :28:07.the serving of a totally inappropriate combination of cheese
:28:08. > :28:11.and cold meats is Robert Lee protected under the Mental Health
:28:12. > :28:19.Act(!) that is all we have time for this week. -- probably protected
:28:20. > :28:23.under the Mental Health Act. Thank you to my panellist. As the debate
:28:24. > :28:27.goes on about what it means to be British, what it means to be
:28:28. > :28:34.European, let me quote from H a L Fisher, " purity of race does not
:28:35. > :28:39.exist, Europe is a continent of energetic mongrels". I have a
:28:40. > :28:52.question that is just begging to be pumped -- cushion that is just
:28:53. > :28:55.begging to be humped! Thank you.