0:00:07 > 0:00:09Elis James, comedian.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11Born in Wales, lives in England.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13Miles Jupp, comedian.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15Born in England, lives in Wales.
0:00:16 > 0:00:20These are our journeys across Wales by land, sea and rail.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22HORN BLOWS
0:00:22 > 0:00:24So, you've moved to Wales...
0:00:24 > 0:00:26- That is right.- You've been on holidays here.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28I've spent a lot of time here. But I'm hungry.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30You know, I want to know more. I want to see more.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32- I want to feel more.- Well, guess who your ideal guide is.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Well, my ideal guide would be Rhod Gilbert.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Yes, he's unavailable. Guess who's available?
0:00:37 > 0:00:40Stop. We made a terrible mistake.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44That is not what nature is for.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46It's a classic 1-2 combination.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48HORN BLOWS
0:00:49 > 0:00:51This man came up to be and said, "I don't like your..."
0:00:51 > 0:00:52HORN BLOWS
0:00:52 > 0:00:53"..attitude."
0:00:53 > 0:00:56- So, welcome to James...- And Jupp.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06OK, we're starting this adventure in my hometown of Carmarthen.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08Look at you, yawning away.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12I had to come up on the train the night before.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Good morning.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17I'm in Carmarthen. It's very early in the morning.
0:01:17 > 0:01:18Elis has asked me to meet.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21I've just spent the night in a perfectly comfortable hotel but
0:01:21 > 0:01:24one that did not offer complimentary shampoo, which is...
0:01:24 > 0:01:26- That is unusual.- Hey, hey, hey.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29- Morning. Hello.- Welcome to the town that never sleeps.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32- Well, yeah.- Apart from at 6:26am.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34The centre of the universe, Carmarthen.
0:01:34 > 0:01:35- Come on.- It's very... Are we not getting...?
0:01:35 > 0:01:38No, no, no. I've got something special planned for you,
0:01:38 > 0:01:41as we're starting off in the jewel in West Wales' crown.
0:01:41 > 0:01:42OK.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47I stayed in a hotel were they didn't offer complimentary shampoo.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Time and tide wait for no man, Miles,
0:01:49 > 0:01:52and that's the reason we're up so early because it's high tide at
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Carmarthen quay and our transport today is by boat.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58- Hello, Tony.- Morning.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00- How are you doing?- Very well.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Could I have two singles to Laugharne, please?
0:02:03 > 0:02:06- You certainly can.- One adult, one child, please.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08You're always making that joke.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11It is a joke with a purpose, Elis, to remind you to grow.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Thank you. That's not bad, is it?
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Now, Carmarthen is quite a long way inland but on a high tide, Miles,
0:02:20 > 0:02:23you can travel all the way out to sea and our destination today is
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Laugharne, famous of course, you'll know this,
0:02:26 > 0:02:28for its connection with Dylan Thomas.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29I do know that.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36This morning, the shower I was using,
0:02:36 > 0:02:38there was no blind in the bathroom.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40- Yeah.- It was only misted glass up to the halfway point.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43So I reckon... I stood there in the shower for ages,
0:02:43 > 0:02:45I didn't have my glasses on, so I couldn't see,
0:02:45 > 0:02:48but I could not be sure that I couldn't be entirely seen.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50There was a house there and there were some lights on.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53And I thought, I am clearly, clearly visible.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55So, I... Well, I'm afraid...
0:02:56 > 0:02:57..red rag to a bull.
0:02:58 > 0:02:59Did the full works.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04- Good morning, Carmarthen.- Morning!
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Morning! I'm just buffing the windows.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18It didn't take long before the river widened out.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21There's Llansteffan Castle on the left,
0:03:21 > 0:03:24which is about two thirds of the way to Laugharne.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26I think, as it's an estuary now,
0:03:26 > 0:03:29it's wide enough for me to have a go at driving the boat.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33That's what they say, isn't it? Driving the boat?
0:03:33 > 0:03:34Yes, yes.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Tony, do you mind if I have a...?
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Yeah, carry on. Right then, Elis.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44OK, if we bear right now...
0:03:44 > 0:03:47- Yeah.- Come around this buoy.
0:03:47 > 0:03:53And we're going to head across to the green buoy and the stick.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55I had no idea what was going on here.
0:03:57 > 0:03:58Oh, my God!
0:03:58 > 0:04:00HE LAUGHS
0:04:00 > 0:04:04He just wants to get in the steering house because it's warmer in there.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Very, very transparent behaviour. He's pretending to be interested.
0:04:08 > 0:04:09He's chatting away.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11"Oh, do I turn this bit? Do I press this?"
0:04:11 > 0:04:13He's literally just chasing some heat.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17And I'm going to do exactly the same.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19And once I'd gone in the cabin too,
0:04:19 > 0:04:22well, the mood brightened considerably.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24HORN BLOWS
0:04:24 > 0:04:27It's sort of cheeky.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31HORN BLOWS MULTIPLE TIMES
0:04:32 > 0:04:34This man came up to me and he said, "I don't like your..."
0:04:34 > 0:04:35HORN BLOWS
0:04:35 > 0:04:38"..attitude." And I said, "Well, you, sir, you can go..."
0:04:38 > 0:04:41- HORN BLOWS - "..yourself and your...
0:04:41 > 0:04:43- HORN BLOWS - "..can do the same."
0:04:48 > 0:04:51There is the destination ahead, the small white building right by the sea,
0:04:51 > 0:04:54which is the Dylan Thomas boathouse.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57And by this time, I did have a reason why I was quite keen to get
0:04:57 > 0:04:59off the boat.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03I tell you one thing, I really loved sailing from Carmarthen to Laugharne.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05However, on a boat of this size...
0:05:07 > 0:05:11..the toilet facilities leave a lot to be desired.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13You try pooing in one of those.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16LAUGHTER
0:05:19 > 0:05:22So, the tide is going out all the time and the water is too shallow
0:05:22 > 0:05:25for us to get off at the boat house itself.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28So, Tony needs to take us to shore on the little tender.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36Which gives us plenty of time to show you this lovely shot of the
0:05:36 > 0:05:40boat and the Taf estuary. Because it took us about as long to get ashore
0:05:40 > 0:05:42here as it did to come all the way from Carmarthen.
0:05:50 > 0:05:54Still going... Still going...
0:05:56 > 0:05:57Still going...
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Oh, progress.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05MUSIC PLAYS
0:06:11 > 0:06:14- Right, Elis, thanks for organising that.- Hey.- What a lovely treat.
0:06:14 > 0:06:15I am a logistics guy.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17You really are, aren't you?
0:06:17 > 0:06:22I might not be the funniest, Miles, but good grief, I'm good at admin.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29I mean, you actually like Dylan Thomas, don't you?
0:06:29 > 0:06:31- Yeah, I love him.- Oh, good. That's all right.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35That could've been awful. "No, it's RS Thomas, I like."
0:06:38 > 0:06:42I had been here before but I was monumentally hungover
0:06:42 > 0:06:45and in a desperate hurry. So it was much less relaxing last time.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49It is a tiny house but its location is superb.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53Thomas lived here with his wife, Caitlin, and their three children.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57They must have had some rows in here, mustn't they?
0:07:02 > 0:07:05- Extraordinary to think of him being here, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08Very calm but at the same time, it cannot have been.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17So, now we're heading to the thing I actually like more than the
0:07:17 > 0:07:20boathouse - Dylan Thomas' little writing shed.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23So you've been to Laugharne before.
0:07:23 > 0:07:24I have.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27But I mean, for example, the shed,
0:07:27 > 0:07:29it's never actually open.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32You can just sort of look through the window.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33Yeah.
0:07:35 > 0:07:36Check that out.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41- Where did you get that? - I just pinched it.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Dylan Thomas, he probably did his chin ups from here.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56He used to do a lot of sort of upper-body stuff?
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Yeah, mainly upper-body stuff.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00That's what kept him in such good shape.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02So this is where he wrote...?
0:08:02 > 0:08:04- He wrote Under Milk Wood...?- Yes.
0:08:04 > 0:08:05- In here.- In here. At this desk?
0:08:06 > 0:08:10Well, who knows? Because, obviously, they're not going to keep actual
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Dylan Thomas artefacts in this shed, but we'd been told there
0:08:13 > 0:08:17was one object in here which was actually an original item.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Owned and touched by the great man himself.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22So, was it this copy of Under Milk Wood?
0:08:22 > 0:08:27"The cold streets silent and the hunched quarters and rabbits
0:08:27 > 0:08:31"limping invisible down to the slow black, slow black,
0:08:31 > 0:08:34"crow black fishing boat bobbing the sea."
0:08:36 > 0:08:38I don't know if it can be original.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40I'd like it to be. But I'm not sure.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42- It could be...the curtains... - 1953...
0:08:42 > 0:08:43The curtains are a shout.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Oh, I know what's original.
0:08:45 > 0:08:46I've spotted it.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50There you are.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52The old intruder alarm.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Yeah. He put that in himself.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57The shelves are... Well, he used to be absolutely obsessed with DIY.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01If he hadn't been, think about how much more productive he'd have been.
0:09:01 > 0:09:02He was into all the latest gadgets.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05Would you like to come to America and do a series of lectures?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07I would like to but I'm screeding my shed.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09- Very...- Creosoting the fence.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12I don't want to say it held him back but it held him back.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15And the real artefact was...
0:09:15 > 0:09:17We never found out. Come on then, trouble.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20- Where you taking me next? - Into Laugharne city centre.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Do you know what Laugharne needs?
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Cybercafe. 24-hour gym.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37- Gin bar?- Yeah.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41- A Freeman Hardy Willis? - Oh, absolutely.
0:09:41 > 0:09:42Perhaps a Jean Junction?
0:09:42 > 0:09:46He used to live there. Seaview, it's for sale.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48- Look at that.- Thomas did?
0:09:48 > 0:09:51He actually lived there and you can buy it. Amazing.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55First thing I'd do, if I bought that place, turn it into an NCP car park.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Just profit, then.
0:09:57 > 0:09:58Just profit.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04A quick walk around the sometimes narrow streets of Laugharne,
0:10:04 > 0:10:07but basically this was just to work up a thirst because we wanted to
0:10:07 > 0:10:09visit another well-known Thomas haunt.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11The bar of Brown's Hotel.
0:10:14 > 0:10:15Sat at the bar, it was like
0:10:15 > 0:10:18Dylan Thomas was there right next to me,
0:10:18 > 0:10:20so I came up with a belter of a TV programme idea.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Are you ready? Who do you think you look like?
0:10:22 > 0:10:26Have you ever been told that you look like a young Dylan Thomas?
0:10:26 > 0:10:27No.
0:10:28 > 0:10:29A young Winston Churchill?
0:10:29 > 0:10:31- Yes.- A young Mick Hucknall?
0:10:31 > 0:10:33No.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35- Not, no...- A young John Sergeant?
0:10:35 > 0:10:37No. No.
0:10:37 > 0:10:41I could play Michael Gove in a sort of slightly cheap thing.
0:10:41 > 0:10:42I'd have to go...
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Yes, yes.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47- Nice.- Now, because you've got this kind of...
0:10:47 > 0:10:50You look like a sort of tiny Bradley Wiggins.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54Oh, thank you. There was that time when he was very famous,
0:10:54 > 0:10:57I had similar sideburns, even though I had them first.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00And I used to get called Bradley a lot, especially at gigs and things.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03- Really?- Yeah, especially stand-up gigs.- Very tedious.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06- Bradley!- Oh, God. - And the tragic thing is...
0:11:06 > 0:11:07Never once thought of a decent...
0:11:07 > 0:11:09I never once thought of a decent comeback.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11You always just put the mic back in the stand,
0:11:11 > 0:11:13- sit on the front of the stage and cry.- Walk off.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Oh, well, that's that. Mic back in.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19It's funny to think of Dylan Thomas here, isn't it?
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Do you know what his drink of choice was?
0:11:21 > 0:11:24- Asti Spumante.- Incorrect.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27- Beer?- No, no.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29It was vodka and Tizer.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31- Was it? That was his thing? - Loved it.- Yeah.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34If he couldn't get Tizer, he'd have Lilt or Rio.
0:11:34 > 0:11:38- Yeah, basically he drank like he was on a hen do.- Right.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41And, of course, dressed up... Deely-boppers.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44- Big inflatable...- L plates on the back of his pants.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47That was his modus operandi.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49And yet when we went to the shop today,
0:11:49 > 0:11:50they weren't selling any of that stuff.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52They made him look like he was quite sensible.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Yeah, yeah. And he looked like a poet.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56But actually, if you knew him...
0:11:56 > 0:11:58No, no, that's absolutely not what he was...
0:11:58 > 0:11:59- Yeah.- L plate and a big sash.
0:11:59 > 0:12:00Yeah, yeah.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07I have absolutely no idea what we were laughing at there but do drink responsibly.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Next morning, I'm trying to work out how the Mini
0:12:19 > 0:12:22- got from Carmarthen to Laugharne.- I told you,
0:12:22 > 0:12:26I'm a logistics man and we need the Mini today because it's going to see
0:12:26 > 0:12:27some proper action.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29And if the Mini had a swear box,
0:12:29 > 0:12:31then it was about to see a lot of action.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34MUSIC PLAYS
0:12:37 > 0:12:39- BLEEP- My...- BLEEP- What's wrong with this?
0:12:39 > 0:12:41- Piece of...- BLEEP
0:12:43 > 0:12:44- What gear am I...- BLEEP- ..in?
0:12:46 > 0:12:48- Honestly.- I think I've mastered this Mini better.
0:12:48 > 0:12:53- You have.- But I feel in complete synergy with the Mini.
0:12:53 > 0:12:54- Do you really?- Yeah.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57I can't believe you would feel synergy with something
0:12:57 > 0:12:58that I find small and irritating.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01- It's a... - How on earth has this happened?
0:13:01 > 0:13:03It's a symbiotic relationship between the Mini and me.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Do you want to know what gear I'm in right now?
0:13:08 > 0:13:11- Fourth.- I'm not in a gear. - Oh, right. Cruising?
0:13:11 > 0:13:13- It was a trick question.- What, you are in neutral now?
0:13:13 > 0:13:16No. No, now I'm in second gear.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20So, we're now going from Laugharne just along the coast to Pendine,
0:13:20 > 0:13:23famous for its long flat sandy beach where many land speed record
0:13:23 > 0:13:25attempts have been made.
0:13:30 > 0:13:31BABS.
0:13:31 > 0:13:36In the museum just by the beach is the actual car that Welshman,
0:13:36 > 0:13:40John Parry Thomas, was driving on Pendine Sands when he set the land
0:13:40 > 0:13:44speed record of 170mph in 1926.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47Basically, you'd be able to run very small errands with it,
0:13:47 > 0:13:48posting a letter, that sort of thing.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51- You wouldn't be able to do your weekly shop in it.- No.
0:13:51 > 0:13:52Because if oranges came out of your bag,
0:13:52 > 0:13:54they'd roll around by the pedals.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Like all West Walians, I had my first driving lesson
0:14:07 > 0:14:09on Pendine Sands. I think it was illegal then.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11It's certainly illegal now.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13That is where you learnt to drive?
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Well, my first lesson, but Dad played fast and loose with the rules.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24- So, are we breaking the rules again today?- Big-time.
0:14:24 > 0:14:25Thank you, Frank.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33Right then. This is extraordinary. So just driving down onto the beach?
0:14:33 > 0:14:36- Yeah.- It feels like incredibly reckless behaviour.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39- Left or right, would you like?- Left, please.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42Left turn. So this is very much like your driving lessons, then.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51Driving on a beach. That's crazy behaviour, isn't it?
0:14:57 > 0:15:01So there it is, seven miles of uninterrupted beautiful beach but
0:15:01 > 0:15:04you can't drive along it normally because it's used as a firing range
0:15:04 > 0:15:06by the MOD.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Have you seen Thelma and Louise?
0:15:11 > 0:15:12Strap in.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23I think Thelma and Louise probably
0:15:23 > 0:15:26went a little bit faster than 19mph though.
0:15:26 > 0:15:27I'm very happy at this pace.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Always indicate.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34LAUGHTER
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Come on. I think it's my turn now.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Are you ready? Three, two, one, out.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55What tiny legs you have, tiny.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58Your legs are weirdly long...
0:15:58 > 0:16:01# Shut up and drive... #
0:16:01 > 0:16:03OK, already, this is terrifying.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17Oh, I just squished a jellyfish.
0:16:17 > 0:16:21- But it was already dead. - We don't know that.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24You really like the gearbox to sort of run the gamut of emotional
0:16:24 > 0:16:25sounds, don't you?
0:16:29 > 0:16:30Oh, my word!
0:16:32 > 0:16:35I am enjoying this...so little.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Elis, that was only about 90 seconds
0:16:39 > 0:16:41but I found it absolutely sick making.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45# Now shut up and drive... #
0:16:48 > 0:16:51So, Miles, I've organised the vast majority of this trip.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55But tonight is a mystery, so where are we staying?
0:16:56 > 0:16:58We are going to...
0:17:00 > 0:17:01..a campsite...
0:17:03 > 0:17:05..where they have caravans.
0:17:05 > 0:17:06Oh, great.
0:17:08 > 0:17:09And the crew will stay in a caravan.
0:17:10 > 0:17:14We, however, are going to sleep in a tent together.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Why? I hate camping.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19I absolutely hate it.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22What sort of tent...? Is it one of those glamping tents where
0:17:22 > 0:17:25everything is really flash and modern and nice?
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Um...
0:17:27 > 0:17:30I... I don't want to reveal too much in advance.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Oh, it's going to be a rubbish little 15 pounder, isn't it?
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Er... Yes.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00So far, I'm extremely happy with the way things are going.
0:18:00 > 0:18:04It's lovely here. It's very busy, there's lots of other people around.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05Um...
0:18:10 > 0:18:12Um...
0:18:12 > 0:18:14HE LAUGHS
0:18:15 > 0:18:17You were loving it, weren't you?
0:18:17 > 0:18:20Camping in the driving rain, you weird man.
0:18:21 > 0:18:26I mean... He's on about cooking on the gas stove.
0:18:26 > 0:18:27He thinks he's in The Famous Five.
0:18:29 > 0:18:33I accept that there are worse things going on in the world,
0:18:33 > 0:18:36but I've been happier. That is how I feel about it.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39I... For God's sake.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44So, I thought I'd take Elis to meet the neighbours.
0:18:44 > 0:18:45- Hello.- Hello.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48How are you doing? Very nice to meet you.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50- Nice to meet you.- Hello.
0:18:50 > 0:18:51- I'm Elis.- I'm Sarah.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53Are we having fun?
0:18:53 > 0:18:55- We are having fun.- All of you are having fun?
0:18:55 > 0:18:56In the cold and the rain.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59More importantly, who is the person who is not having fun?
0:18:59 > 0:19:00- Him.- Yes!
0:19:01 > 0:19:03What would you prefer to be doing?
0:19:03 > 0:19:05I'd prefer to be back in Cardiff, where I live.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07- Yes!- I've got a house made of bricks.
0:19:07 > 0:19:08Yes!
0:19:09 > 0:19:11When my wife booked the holiday...
0:19:11 > 0:19:14I think when she checked the BBC weather app, instead of Narberth,
0:19:14 > 0:19:16she looked at Nairobi for the temperature.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20And got all confused and here we are.
0:19:20 > 0:19:21This is quite nice, though.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23- It's lovely.- This is...
0:19:23 > 0:19:26This is better than what we've got.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28This is the dining room.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32This is good.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34I don't... I'm not sure I want Elis seeing this
0:19:34 > 0:19:38because he's going to sort of bemoan our facility.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42It even says home.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45- What is it? Is that an air bed? - Yeah.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47But eventually, it was time to turn in.
0:19:49 > 0:19:50Right, OK.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Just open it all up and then we'll be...
0:19:54 > 0:19:57Let's get in there properly and we'll get nice and warm,
0:19:57 > 0:19:59nice and quickly.
0:19:59 > 0:20:00OK.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03It's essentially very roomy, I think.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07OK. Right, night-night.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13There. There we go. Super.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17Right, pass me that. Pass me my phone.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20The minute they've gone, I'm going to phone a hotel,
0:20:20 > 0:20:24- because this is unbearable.- We could go back to Laugharne, it's not far.
0:20:24 > 0:20:25That's true.
0:20:34 > 0:20:35Anyway, where are we off to now?
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Well, today, we've gone further west to Neyland.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43There it is. And we're on another boat because this time, we're going
0:20:43 > 0:20:45up the Daugleddau estuary.
0:20:45 > 0:20:49It's an amazing tidal area of rivers and backwaters.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52It's like a hidden world up here because a lot of places are easier
0:20:52 > 0:20:54to get to by boat than by road.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57It's called the Daugleddau because there are two Cleddau rivers.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59They join together further upstream.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02We're going up as far as Llangwm or Langem as the locals call it.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09And this is the Cleddau Bridge, which actually collapsed when it was
0:21:09 > 0:21:12being built and you go under that and head inland.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19Elis, I popped to the chandlers shop earlier.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21- Oh, yeah?- And bought...
0:21:21 > 0:21:23- Ooh!- ..a commercial chocolate bar.
0:21:23 > 0:21:27And I thought you could have some of it provided you were prepared to
0:21:27 > 0:21:29answer some trivia questions.
0:21:29 > 0:21:30OK.
0:21:30 > 0:21:34What is the most demeaning thing that you have ever done?
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Most demeaning thing I've ever done...
0:21:37 > 0:21:44I did warm up on the Welsh language Mastermind and an old man came up to
0:21:44 > 0:21:46me in the toilets and he said in Welsh...
0:21:46 > 0:21:49Oh, no. I thought the first it was the demeaning bit.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51No, no, he said, "You have got nothing."
0:21:51 > 0:21:53LAUGHTER
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Well, you've got something now, Elis.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58- Oh, thank you.- Congratulations.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00I got sacked in the car park.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02I hadn't even got to my car.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05I must have done about 30 paces when my phone rang and it was the
0:22:05 > 0:22:09producer and he said, "We've seen enough."
0:22:11 > 0:22:13- Wow!- Yeah.- Is that all he said?
0:22:13 > 0:22:15- Yeah.- And then the line went dead.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18You'd better have another of these. That sounds quite traumatic.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Didn't you go on Celebrity Mastermind once?
0:22:20 > 0:22:22- I did, yes.- And how did you get on?
0:22:22 > 0:22:25- I won.- Ooh! Specialist subject?
0:22:25 > 0:22:28The cricketing career of former England captain, Michael Atherton.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30- I beat Rachel Riley. - God, you're amazing.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32You do know that, don't you?
0:22:33 > 0:22:34I do.
0:22:35 > 0:22:40So, just past this bend of the river is the tiny hamlet of Coedcanlas,
0:22:40 > 0:22:44which is about five miles from Neyland by river but 15 miles by road.
0:22:44 > 0:22:45And we need to get ashore.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Hi there, how's it going?
0:22:50 > 0:22:52- Good. How are you? - Yeah, we're all right.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55Is it hard, that row?
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Are you well practised?
0:22:57 > 0:23:00This boat just glides along like a dream.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03- How'd you do, Miles.- How do you do, Nick.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06- This is Elis.- Hello, Nick.- How are you doing?
0:23:14 > 0:23:17So, Nick wasn't just a kindly passing stranger in a rowing boat.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19We'd come here to meet him and his family,
0:23:19 > 0:23:24wife Annette and daughters Josie and Moki.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Did you just pick this place at random?
0:23:26 > 0:23:28I mean, what drew you here?
0:23:28 > 0:23:30I was actually born in Carmarthen.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31Yes!
0:23:33 > 0:23:37- Congratulations.- And I came back here with an old boat
0:23:37 > 0:23:40I was hoping to do up and sail off on.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44But I got stranded here and started a family and...
0:23:44 > 0:23:47Wow! You make it sound like it was against your will.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50- Yeah.- I think it probably was, actually. Yeah.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54What is it that draws you to the landscape here?
0:23:55 > 0:23:57It's definitely the connection with the sea.
0:23:57 > 0:24:01The beauty of it is you can get in a boat and sail down to the heads,
0:24:01 > 0:24:04St Ann's Head, and then you can go anywhere in the world.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10So, we should probably tell everyone what Nick and family do.
0:24:10 > 0:24:14They make honey on this farmland on the banks of the River Cleddau.
0:24:16 > 0:24:17Inside this little unit,
0:24:17 > 0:24:21they process the honey and also make marmalade when the bees are
0:24:21 > 0:24:23having a rest.
0:24:23 > 0:24:27And Josie was on hand to answer a honey related question.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30It keeps for years. It can crystallise sometimes over time.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32There's nothing wrong with it when it crystallises?
0:24:32 > 0:24:34No, not at all, it's just the sugar crystals.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36If you heat it really gently...
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Good, that's settled a domestic dispute I've had with my girlfriend
0:24:39 > 0:24:41for about ten years. There's nothing wrong with it.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44It's perfectly safe to apply honey in all areas...
0:24:44 > 0:24:45And she should relax.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51So, we wanted to see the bees.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53And for that, you need to get suited up.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56But... This is a Queen wasp that Nick has found in the suit that I
0:24:56 > 0:24:58was about to put on.
0:24:58 > 0:24:59It was in the crotch area as well.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01- Was it?- It could've been nasty.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04Don't worry, I'm double bagged.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06He's also got five kids. It will be a blessing.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08LAUGHTER
0:25:08 > 0:25:10MUSIC: Theme From A-Team
0:25:11 > 0:25:16And now it was time to get the team together for one last job.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Which team? The bee team.
0:25:23 > 0:25:24God, I love slow-mo.
0:25:26 > 0:25:27And I love you.
0:25:29 > 0:25:30Let's go to work.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37We look like we're testing their farm for radiation.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39We do. Nick's clearly a bit more relaxed about life.
0:25:39 > 0:25:43It's quite cool out here today but inside the brood nest,
0:25:43 > 0:25:45it's 35 degrees.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47You can feel the heat coming off...
0:25:47 > 0:25:4835 degrees in there?
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Yeah, you can put your hand in...
0:25:50 > 0:25:52No, that's insanity. Why would I do that?
0:25:53 > 0:25:55I've felt warm things before.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58I feel indestructible in this outfit.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00- Oh, wow!- That is extraordinary.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02This is a feeder on the top.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05At the end of last year, in October November time,
0:26:05 > 0:26:07we get a lot of ivy around here.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09And they've got a lot of ivy honey.
0:26:11 > 0:26:12So there's the Queen, you can see here.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17Terrifying but beautiful sight, I would say.
0:26:17 > 0:26:18Would you like to try some of the honey?
0:26:18 > 0:26:20- Oh, yes, please.- I'd love some, yeah.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Which bit of a bead does the honey come out of?
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Is it a teat or some sort of...?
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Some sort of duct that we don't have?
0:26:26 > 0:26:27I'm laughing but I don't know.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32We've got, obviously, netting between our fingers and our mouths.
0:26:32 > 0:26:33Yeah, good point.
0:26:35 > 0:26:36It's nice to look at.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40We can go and eat it somewhere else where you can take your veils off,
0:26:40 > 0:26:42- if you like.- Yes.- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44If you and I are going to break bread together,
0:26:44 > 0:26:45I have to undress first.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Is that your golden rule?
0:26:48 > 0:26:52Very much so, yes. Passed down through my mother's side.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06So, this is a bit of honeycomb?
0:27:06 > 0:27:08It is. A bit of honeycomb that came out of the feeder just now.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11- And I can eat this?- You can, yes.
0:27:11 > 0:27:12OK.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16That's ivy honey from the end of last year.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18Isn't ivy poisonous?
0:27:18 > 0:27:19It is, yeah.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23- It's very nice.- We forgot to tell you that.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26Having been at the more dangerous end of the honey making process,
0:27:26 > 0:27:28can we enjoy something safely out of a jar?
0:27:28 > 0:27:33Yes, so we've got a range here. We've got the clear,
0:27:33 > 0:27:36set heather honey and then on the left, there,
0:27:36 > 0:27:38next to the heather honey is last year's early honey,
0:27:38 > 0:27:41so that's largely from Sycamore, May...
0:27:41 > 0:27:44OK. And this is orange...
0:27:44 > 0:27:45This is Seville orange.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49That is bees that have been on a mainly marmalade diet.
0:27:49 > 0:27:53Yes, largely. Feed them oranges all year and see what comes out.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55Is your honey organic?
0:27:55 > 0:27:58It's about as close as you can get organic.
0:27:58 > 0:27:59Organically produced.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01Just because in my experience,
0:28:01 > 0:28:03pesticides actually taste quite nice.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07I probably wouldn't bother with the whole organic thing.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09It tastes... If anything, it tastes better.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15I'm afraid it's time to leave the happy group,
0:28:15 > 0:28:17breaking bread and spreading honey.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25This is James and Jupp signing off.
0:28:26 > 0:28:28Till we meet again...
0:28:30 > 0:28:32..in Cairo.
0:28:32 > 0:28:33HE SMIRKS