Episode 6

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0:00:02 > 0:00:10This programme contains very strong language and adult humour

0:00:11 > 0:00:15'My new school, Holy Cross Catholic School, is mean as.

0:00:15 > 0:00:16Scram the fucker!

0:00:16 > 0:00:18Must be the Rangas' heads making them hot!

0:00:18 > 0:00:21'At school, I got into a little bit of trouble.'

0:00:21 > 0:00:24You're too fucking slow, mate. Fuck off, Sir! Have a look at him.

0:00:24 > 0:00:27He's clearly a fuckwit. I'm clearly a fuckwit.

0:00:27 > 0:00:31'Then I did something stupid and we all ended up in juvie.'

0:00:31 > 0:00:32Moses! No!

0:00:32 > 0:00:36'Moses left and I had to stay for six weeks on my own.'

0:00:36 > 0:00:37You're a fat bitch.

0:00:37 > 0:00:39I will be a bitch if you speak to me like that.

0:00:39 > 0:00:41# I want to feel a young girl

0:00:41 > 0:00:42# I want to touch your boobies... #

0:00:42 > 0:00:45'But juvie is gun as.' ALL: Juvie-liscious!

0:00:45 > 0:00:47Hey, Miss, guess what I'm touching right now.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49'There's a few homos in here.'

0:00:49 > 0:00:51Why don't you go and commit suicide in your cell?

0:00:51 > 0:00:53Because your mum wants to lick my balls.

0:00:53 > 0:00:54She told me when she came to visit.

0:00:54 > 0:00:57But the guards are nice and I love it here.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59LAUGHTER

0:00:59 > 0:01:02Why did the boy eat the tampon? Why?

0:01:02 > 0:01:04Because he thought it was a lolly.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06Don't! Oh, fuck.

0:01:06 > 0:01:10'I missed my parole hearing because I got violent.

0:01:11 > 0:01:13'And now I might not get out for a long time.'

0:01:47 > 0:01:50'I want to get out for lots of reasons.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52'Cos I have missed school,

0:01:52 > 0:01:56'I missed Mr Joseph and I missed my boys.'

0:01:56 > 0:01:59I'm going to go inside and you guys wait here.

0:01:59 > 0:02:01'And Moses needs me to look after him'

0:02:01 > 0:02:05in case he gets bashed and I've got

0:02:05 > 0:02:07Feel The Beat area heats coming up,

0:02:07 > 0:02:10so I need to get out to perform for that.

0:02:11 > 0:02:14Moses, be careful! They've got electric fences, you spastic.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17You are going to get yourself killed. Fuck off!

0:02:17 > 0:02:20'Cos if we win the area heats and we go to the nationals

0:02:20 > 0:02:24'and we win that, then I get to go to Los Angeles

0:02:24 > 0:02:27'and that's where I can get Moses the record deal.'

0:02:27 > 0:02:31And if I'm good and responsible and stay out of trouble

0:02:31 > 0:02:35when I get out, my dad said he's going to take me to Tonga

0:02:35 > 0:02:37to get my tattoo finished,

0:02:37 > 0:02:39which means I'm a real man.

0:02:41 > 0:02:44That would be good, hey, Kevin?

0:02:44 > 0:02:47Yeah. Actually, I wasn't listening. It got boring.

0:02:48 > 0:02:53No, no, no! Hey! Not the nuts! Fucking little shit.

0:02:53 > 0:02:55Boys! The door is open, I think it's Jonah! Is it?

0:02:55 > 0:02:57Oh, no, it's not him.

0:02:57 > 0:03:01If Jonah stays in, I reckon I should be the new leader of the crew.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Fuck that! You're not going to be the leader.

0:03:05 > 0:03:07I'm going to be the leader. Bullshit!

0:03:07 > 0:03:11Bullshit! Your dick is going to be the leader. You can't even dance.

0:03:11 > 0:03:15You can't be the leader if you can't dance, that's the rule. Fuck.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17HE MUTTERS Boys!

0:03:17 > 0:03:22The door! Someone's coming! He's here, he's here. Wait for me.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24Moses!

0:03:24 > 0:03:25I love you!

0:03:25 > 0:03:26Hey, boys!

0:03:26 > 0:03:28THEY SHOUT

0:03:31 > 0:03:34Let's get the fuck out of here, boys.

0:03:34 > 0:03:38Yeah, I fucking missed you, mate. Yeah! Let's go, boys!

0:03:38 > 0:03:42See you, Miss! Best guard ever! Yeah! Love you, Miss!

0:03:42 > 0:03:45Good luck to you, Jonah, and good luck in the competition.

0:03:45 > 0:03:49Is this the Fobba-liscious? Yeah, these are my boys, Miss.

0:03:49 > 0:03:50Love you, Miss! See you, Jonah.

0:03:50 > 0:03:52Thanks for everything!

0:03:53 > 0:03:56Right, boys? We've got Feel The Beat to win. Let's get out of here.

0:03:56 > 0:03:58THEY CHEER

0:04:11 > 0:04:15Sir, when are we going to start? Here's the running order.

0:04:15 > 0:04:17'Sup, sir? 'Sup, sir?

0:04:17 > 0:04:19Listen, Jonah, I've been chatting with your dad.

0:04:19 > 0:04:21Did you tell him if we win this competition

0:04:21 > 0:04:23it means you'll be going to university?

0:04:23 > 0:04:26Yeah. So, you lied to him? Yeah, but he's dumb as, he wouldn't know.

0:04:26 > 0:04:29And he really wants me to go to uni. Yeah, but it's not true.

0:04:29 > 0:04:31Yeah, well, it doesn't matter.

0:04:31 > 0:04:33I just want him to be proud if we win, Sir.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35Look, we'll talk about it later.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38Sir, Sir, if we win this, how many more heats before we get to LA?

0:04:38 > 0:04:41Look, like I said before, boys, we have to win this heat first.

0:04:41 > 0:04:43There's a lot more rounds before the national finals.

0:04:43 > 0:04:46Just think about here and now. Let's just win this one, boys!

0:04:46 > 0:04:47Exactly. Let's do it, boys!

0:04:47 > 0:04:51Ladies and gentlemen, can we please get everybody to their seats?

0:04:51 > 0:04:52The show is about to begin.

0:04:52 > 0:04:57Right now, I would like to welcome you all to the annual Feel The Beat.

0:05:06 > 0:05:07HALF-HEARTED APPLAUSE

0:05:07 > 0:05:09All right, all right, Pink Pearls!

0:05:09 > 0:05:13Please put your hands together one more time!

0:05:13 > 0:05:15Nice job, girls.

0:05:15 > 0:05:19Up next we have a group of Year 9 boys from Holy Cross High School.

0:05:19 > 0:05:21They go by the name of Fobba-liscious.

0:05:21 > 0:05:24They're about to hit the floor with their anti-bullying anthem,

0:05:24 > 0:05:25Don't Be A Bully.

0:05:28 > 0:05:30Don't be a bully.

0:05:30 > 0:05:33Fobba-liscious, listen to us.

0:05:33 > 0:05:38# I feel sad, I feel pain when you call me that name

0:05:38 > 0:05:42# I'm a person, just like you

0:05:42 > 0:05:44Don't be a bully!

0:05:44 > 0:05:50# I feel sad, I feel pain when you call me that name

0:05:50 > 0:05:53# I'm a person, just like you

0:05:53 > 0:05:56Don't be a bully!

0:05:56 > 0:05:58Hey, bullies, listen up!

0:05:58 > 0:06:01What's it fucking about, thinking you're so tough?

0:06:01 > 0:06:04Just cos a kid has got a different colour hair

0:06:04 > 0:06:07Don't mean you can be a bully Yeah, yeah, yeah

0:06:07 > 0:06:10You're going to get busted for calling kids names

0:06:10 > 0:06:13The teacher is going to make you write down all your names

0:06:13 > 0:06:16Don't be a bully. Moolly-moolly!

0:06:16 > 0:06:19Fobba-liscious, listen to us!

0:06:19 > 0:06:23# I feel sad, I feel pain when you call me that name

0:06:23 > 0:06:28# I'm a person, just like you

0:06:28 > 0:06:30Don't be a bully!

0:06:30 > 0:06:36# I feel sad, I feel pain when you call me that name

0:06:36 > 0:06:40# I'm a person, just like you... #

0:06:40 > 0:06:42Don't be a bully!

0:06:43 > 0:06:47CHEERING

0:06:53 > 0:06:57And our first runner-up for this year's Feel The Beat, we have...

0:06:57 > 0:07:00Grouchy!

0:07:02 > 0:07:04That's it, boys.

0:07:04 > 0:07:06OK.

0:07:06 > 0:07:08And finally, the winner of this year's Feel The Beat

0:07:08 > 0:07:11with a massive effort and a huge talent.

0:07:11 > 0:07:15They are going all the way to the regional finals. We have...

0:07:15 > 0:07:19The Pink Pearls!

0:07:19 > 0:07:21CHEERING

0:07:21 > 0:07:22Well done, ladies.

0:07:22 > 0:07:25Well, that wraps us up for this year's Feel The Beat.

0:07:25 > 0:07:28I want to hear some noise for all the contestants

0:07:28 > 0:07:30here at Feel The Beat.

0:07:30 > 0:07:31'It's a shame, you know.

0:07:31 > 0:07:34'It's disappointing, but they gave it 100%

0:07:34 > 0:07:37'and I'm really, really proud of them. They did really awesome.

0:07:37 > 0:07:39'I just don't want them to lose confidence, that the only thing.

0:07:39 > 0:07:43'You know, they have done a lot to come this far.' It's fucked!

0:07:43 > 0:07:44It's hard to tell with these boys.

0:07:44 > 0:07:46On the outside, they're really tough,

0:07:46 > 0:07:48but, especially in times like this,

0:07:48 > 0:07:51they're really quite fragile and Jonah especially.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53It's fucked up, Sir!

0:07:53 > 0:07:54Don't hug me, you look like a...

0:07:54 > 0:07:57Sir, that sucked. We were way better than them.

0:07:57 > 0:07:59Sir, you should tell the judges they fucked up.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02Yeah, how am I going to get to Los Angeles now, Sir?

0:08:02 > 0:08:04It was about being involved, guys, and I thought you guys

0:08:04 > 0:08:06did incredibly well. What am I telling my dad?

0:08:06 > 0:08:09Don't worry about it. He'll be all right.

0:08:09 > 0:08:11Let's go before I smash those little girls.

0:08:11 > 0:08:12It fucking sucks.

0:08:12 > 0:08:14It'll be all right, don't worry about it.

0:08:14 > 0:08:16Fuck off, paedo, and stop touching me.

0:08:16 > 0:08:18'Although I wouldn't wish prison on any kid,

0:08:18 > 0:08:20'I think that somehow it has done him some good.

0:08:20 > 0:08:23'He's come out a lot more focused on what he wants to achieve

0:08:23 > 0:08:26'and is somehow even more considerate of other people.'

0:08:26 > 0:08:28We should have won.

0:08:29 > 0:08:31Well, I made a deal with Jonah.

0:08:31 > 0:08:33I said there would be no more counselling sessions

0:08:33 > 0:08:35if he's on his best behaviour for a month

0:08:35 > 0:08:38and he seemed pretty keen to make that happen,

0:08:38 > 0:08:39so I think it's going to be good

0:08:39 > 0:08:41to see how well he fits back in at school.

0:08:48 > 0:08:50Jonah, don't do it, don't do it! Best behaviour!

0:08:52 > 0:08:57Oi! You want me to drop you, cunt? Jonah! I'll take you on!

0:08:57 > 0:08:59Jonah, Jonah! Think of the counselling.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02..my brother. Fucking homo. Fucking pussy!

0:09:02 > 0:09:04Don't worry about it. It's not worth it. You got to be...

0:09:04 > 0:09:07Fuck up, Ranga. You're a bitch.

0:09:07 > 0:09:09You'd better run!

0:09:10 > 0:09:14Hey, Sister! Sister, I'm back! Hello, you. Eh, Sister!

0:09:14 > 0:09:17Lovely to have you back. I've missed your little visits.

0:09:17 > 0:09:18I've missed you too, Sister.

0:09:18 > 0:09:21You look good. It must've been horrible where you were.

0:09:21 > 0:09:24No, it was good. I just went up to Queensland.

0:09:24 > 0:09:28Dad went up and he took us all up... What a liar! Bullshit!

0:09:28 > 0:09:32Sister already knows you've been in juvie. Bullshit I went to juvie!

0:09:32 > 0:09:35Why would you go for six weeks to Movie World?

0:09:35 > 0:09:37Cos we had to drive up and we were camping

0:09:37 > 0:09:40and we went to Sea World and Dreamworld too. What a liar.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42Don't listen to him. He's lying.

0:09:42 > 0:09:46You do like to tell a few furphies now and then, don't you, Jonah?

0:09:46 > 0:09:48What's a furphy anyway, Miss? It sounds like a fart.

0:09:48 > 0:09:50No, it's not one of those.

0:09:50 > 0:09:52I bet you like to do a few furphies in here

0:09:52 > 0:09:54when there's no-one around, Sister.

0:09:54 > 0:09:57A furphy is little tale we tell sometimes

0:09:57 > 0:09:58when we don't want to tell the truth.

0:09:58 > 0:10:01That's you, bro. That's Jonah. Shut up!

0:10:01 > 0:10:04Sister, can I tell you a joke? A clean one, yes.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07What did the nun call her head?

0:10:07 > 0:10:10The nunny nun head.

0:10:10 > 0:10:11LAUGHTER

0:10:11 > 0:10:14What did the nun do when she was in the office by herself?

0:10:14 > 0:10:17A fart! LAUGHTER

0:10:17 > 0:10:20See you, Sister. I liked the first one better. See you, Sister.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22See you, Sister. Love you, Sister.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24Bye, sister. Lovely to have you back.

0:10:26 > 0:10:27What we've got here, boys, is a pulse,

0:10:27 > 0:10:30a current going through there on and off, all right?

0:10:30 > 0:10:31So that makes it flash.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33KNOCK AT DOOR Jonah's back!

0:10:33 > 0:10:34CHEERING

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Righto, shut up! Get over here and watch my demo.

0:10:36 > 0:10:39Why are you so fucking late? Don't swear, sir.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42You should be happy to see me. Righto, I'm happy to see you, OK?

0:10:42 > 0:10:44You are back, but I'm trying to impart some fucking knowledge

0:10:44 > 0:10:47to these numbskulls. I love you, sir, I've missed you.

0:10:47 > 0:10:49Get the fuck off me! Sir! Fucking faggot!

0:10:49 > 0:10:53I've got anger issues! I will retaliate on you!

0:10:53 > 0:10:54I'm still angry.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56I'll have fucking anger issues in a moment

0:10:56 > 0:10:58if you don't pay a-fucking-tention.

0:10:58 > 0:11:01I'm paying attention! Now... Teach us something for once!

0:11:01 > 0:11:06Now, by the way, shit-for-brains, that little pussy cat graffiti...

0:11:06 > 0:11:08ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

0:11:08 > 0:11:10Oh, yeah, very funny!

0:11:10 > 0:11:12Had me walking all round the school looking for dicks

0:11:12 > 0:11:14and here you are drawing pussy. Yeah.

0:11:14 > 0:11:16Who told you, Sir?

0:11:16 > 0:11:18Yeah, well, don't try and change your tag either

0:11:18 > 0:11:20cos I'm too fucking clever for you, idiot.

0:11:20 > 0:11:22My dick is too clever for you.

0:11:22 > 0:11:25I'm not wiping it off, sir. You'll fucking do as you're told.

0:11:25 > 0:11:27Give me a go of the electricity thing. No, stay away.

0:11:27 > 0:11:28This is a dangerous current. Look, look!

0:11:28 > 0:11:30Your dick is a dangerous current. Give me a go.

0:11:30 > 0:11:32Argh! Fuck, sir!

0:11:32 > 0:11:34No swearing. He actually electrocuted me!

0:11:34 > 0:11:36What have I told you about swearing in class? Don't do it.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38Bit fucking weird for my...

0:11:38 > 0:11:41They pushed me, they pushed me! Did you... Did you just attack me?

0:11:41 > 0:11:43No, fuck off! What about you?

0:11:43 > 0:11:46You want some? Fuck off!

0:11:46 > 0:11:51Don't electrify me! Anyone else? No, OK. Sir, put them on my nuts.

0:11:51 > 0:11:53Put them on my nuts. Go, go, go, go!

0:11:53 > 0:11:56Oh, fuck. Do it, Sir! Do it! Don't tempt me.

0:12:06 > 0:12:07It's one of the finest pieces

0:12:07 > 0:12:09I've seen come out Year 9 in a long time.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12It is a brilliant sculpture and it's been chosen to represent

0:12:12 > 0:12:14Holy Cross at the interschool art prize.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16So, Melody, would you like to come out the front

0:12:16 > 0:12:19and explain your work to the class for me?

0:12:19 > 0:12:22'One of the shit things about being in juvie for so long'

0:12:22 > 0:12:26is Melody, the hot girl that I like, she got a boyfriend.

0:12:26 > 0:12:29This is a papier-mache body cast of my boyfriend

0:12:29 > 0:12:32and my themes are based on masculinity,

0:12:32 > 0:12:35the human form and my Tonga heritage. Miss!

0:12:35 > 0:12:38Miss, she ripped me off. I did one of her, she copied it!

0:12:38 > 0:12:42No calling out, Jonah, and you didn't even finish yours, it was a big mess.

0:12:42 > 0:12:44She's a copyright ripper-offer!

0:12:46 > 0:12:49All right, guys, so you've all worked really... Steal my ideas, bitch!

0:12:49 > 0:12:52Who is your boyfriend anyway? I'm not telling.

0:12:52 > 0:12:55You have to tell me, I'm your cousin.

0:12:55 > 0:12:57I'm not going to, so suck dick.

0:12:57 > 0:13:00You can tell he's got a small dick from the bulge on your sculpture.

0:13:00 > 0:13:04Miss told me to make it small so I didn't offend people.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07It's actually massive in real life. Oh, that's disgusting!

0:13:07 > 0:13:10How'd you even know? Did he show you?

0:13:10 > 0:13:13Yeah, Jonah, it's called having a boyfriend.

0:13:13 > 0:13:15Why don't you go and marry him, then?

0:13:15 > 0:13:18That's a cool insult because maybe I will one day.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20He is way hotter than you.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22Your face is hotter than me. Erm, I know.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24Shut up!

0:13:24 > 0:13:26You sound like an idiot!

0:13:26 > 0:13:30'But one of the best things about coming out of juvie

0:13:30 > 0:13:33'is that everyone thinks you are a gangster.

0:13:33 > 0:13:36'Like, even The Rangas, they think I'm a school legend now

0:13:36 > 0:13:38'because I've been in juvie.'

0:13:38 > 0:13:41I was on kitchen duty and I wanted to...

0:13:41 > 0:13:43I wanted to get a knife, but the knife drawer, they keep it locked,

0:13:43 > 0:13:47so I carved a knife out of a carrot. A carrot?!

0:13:47 > 0:13:50Yeah, a carrot and it was a frozen carrot so it had

0:13:50 > 0:13:53a really sharp point and then, when the guard walked past,

0:13:53 > 0:13:55I pushed him up against the wall, this Abo guard,

0:13:55 > 0:13:59and I cut - you know that bit of your year, the flippy bit -

0:13:59 > 0:14:02I cut that bit off and it started bleeding

0:14:02 > 0:14:04and he bled so much that he almost died,

0:14:04 > 0:14:06but he survived, they stitched it back on.

0:14:06 > 0:14:09That's legendary. I was the biggest legend in the prison.

0:14:09 > 0:14:12'Even though I'm getting along with The Rangas,

0:14:12 > 0:14:14'I still hate Graydon.'

0:14:14 > 0:14:15Jonah! What the...?

0:14:15 > 0:14:19Graydon wants you teaching him break-dancing. Fuck off. As if!

0:14:19 > 0:14:20And I hate Graydon even more now

0:14:20 > 0:14:23cos he's going out with my fat sister.

0:14:23 > 0:14:25Show me some of the moves you learned in jail.

0:14:25 > 0:14:26I didn't learn anything.

0:14:26 > 0:14:28What are you going out with my fat sister for? You are sick.

0:14:28 > 0:14:31Don't call her fat. I like her. I really like her, dude.

0:14:31 > 0:14:33Just teach him moves, Jonah. We could be brothers, man.

0:14:33 > 0:14:36I'm not going to have a Ranga brother, so that's not happening.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38I'm pretty keen to have a juvie gangster as a brother,

0:14:38 > 0:14:40so teach me some shit, man, come on.

0:14:40 > 0:14:42Jonah, he's family now. Just one move, man, come on.

0:14:42 > 0:14:46Teach your dick a move! I'm not showing you shit!

0:14:46 > 0:14:48How do you do this move, right? I saw it the other day.

0:14:48 > 0:14:52With the knees and you spin around. You can't do it. Teach me how.

0:14:52 > 0:14:55Fucking spastic. How do you get...? You've got to lead into it.

0:14:55 > 0:14:56You've got to do that

0:14:56 > 0:14:57and then you go down

0:14:57 > 0:14:59and then you go around

0:14:59 > 0:15:00and then boom.

0:15:00 > 0:15:02So, how do I go down? Like...?

0:15:02 > 0:15:04No, you can't do it. Don't touch me, Ranga!

0:15:04 > 0:15:07Bye, Miss. OK, bye-bye, girls - see you later.

0:15:07 > 0:15:08Long fucking day, boys...

0:15:08 > 0:15:10'Some things have changed,

0:15:10 > 0:15:12'and some things are not as good as they were.'

0:15:12 > 0:15:16Bye, Miss. See you, Miss. Bye-bye, boys. See you later.

0:15:16 > 0:15:17What the fuck? What?

0:15:17 > 0:15:20Melody - she's getting in George's car.

0:15:20 > 0:15:22Jonah, Melody's going out with George. Yeah.

0:15:22 > 0:15:25We didn't want to tell you. Sorry. He stole her from you.

0:15:25 > 0:15:27Fucking bitch.

0:15:27 > 0:15:30Melody! Melody, is he the papier-mache thing?

0:15:30 > 0:15:34Yeah. Well, guess what? I'm going out with Miss Hunt now!

0:15:34 > 0:15:37We're lovers! Get off! Me and Miss Hunt are going out.

0:15:37 > 0:15:39She sucks me off better than you ever could.

0:15:39 > 0:15:43That is disgusting - go home. Sorry, Miss, I was only joking.

0:15:43 > 0:15:45We're just joking, Miss. Say sorry, man.

0:15:56 > 0:15:58Sir, what's happening? Why is all that shit outside?

0:15:58 > 0:16:00Sir, are we moving classroom? What the fuck, sir?

0:16:00 > 0:16:03Why are they taking our shit? Righto, now you blokes are all here,

0:16:03 > 0:16:06just gather round, I'll...

0:16:06 > 0:16:07I'll let you know what's going on.

0:16:07 > 0:16:09Are you punking us, sir?

0:16:09 > 0:16:11No, mate, I'm not - this is for real.

0:16:12 > 0:16:13So...

0:16:15 > 0:16:16..I've known for a little while,

0:16:16 > 0:16:18but I didn't want to worry you blokes. The, um...

0:16:19 > 0:16:21..the Catholic Education Office

0:16:21 > 0:16:25has deemed that Lazarus House is unsatisfactory

0:16:25 > 0:16:27and it seems that I'm of no benefit,

0:16:27 > 0:16:30so they've decided to close us down after nine years.

0:16:30 > 0:16:33That's fucking shit, sir. Are you serious?

0:16:33 > 0:16:34HE SIGHS

0:16:34 > 0:16:36Today's my last day at Holy Cross.

0:16:36 > 0:16:39What about us, sir? You can't leave us.

0:16:39 > 0:16:40What's going to happen to us?

0:16:40 > 0:16:43You blokes will be integrated back into the normal classes.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46You'll still be able to do your subjects, so don't worry about that.

0:16:46 > 0:16:48You'll just...be doing them with everyone else.

0:16:48 > 0:16:50It's...it's all sorted.

0:16:50 > 0:16:53That's shit, sir - we can't be in normal classes,

0:16:53 > 0:16:56we're too disruptive to other students.

0:16:56 > 0:16:58You're definitely not bullshitting us?

0:16:58 > 0:17:00No, mate, it's not bullshit.

0:17:00 > 0:17:03This is my last day. When I leave here, that's the end of it.

0:17:03 > 0:17:04You won't see me again.

0:17:04 > 0:17:05He's serious, boys.

0:17:05 > 0:17:07But, fuck, sir - we love you too much.

0:17:07 > 0:17:08We want you to stay.

0:17:08 > 0:17:10Yeah - let's not get too gay about this.

0:17:10 > 0:17:12We're just going to...say goodbye

0:17:12 > 0:17:15in a...manly fashion, with a handshake.

0:17:15 > 0:17:17Boys, let's sing a song for Sir. Yeah!

0:17:17 > 0:17:19Let's sing a song for him, boys.

0:17:19 > 0:17:20THEY SPEAK IN TONGAN

0:17:20 > 0:17:21What's...what's that?

0:17:21 > 0:17:23It's a traditional farewell song.

0:17:23 > 0:17:25We sing it when someone goes away.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27Yeah?

0:17:27 > 0:17:28HE PLAYS UKELELE

0:17:32 > 0:17:35THEY SING IN TONGAN

0:18:12 > 0:18:13Oh!

0:18:13 > 0:18:15THEY LAUGH Fucking shit!

0:18:15 > 0:18:17Don't get me, Sir!

0:18:17 > 0:18:19I'm trying to sing - shut up, Sir. Shit!

0:18:20 > 0:18:23THEY CONTINUE TO SING

0:18:26 > 0:18:28Can I get the Lazarus House boys to your feet, please?

0:18:28 > 0:18:32As of Monday, these boys will be integrated back into normal classes

0:18:32 > 0:18:35as Lazarus House will be closing.

0:18:35 > 0:18:37If you happen to see them in your classes,

0:18:37 > 0:18:39please make them feel welcome.

0:18:39 > 0:18:42It's not an easy transition for them, so please reach out.

0:18:42 > 0:18:44Be as warm and considerate as you can be.

0:18:44 > 0:18:46Thanks very much, guys - take a seat.

0:18:46 > 0:18:49Can I see Jonah, Manu, Israel, Sonny

0:18:49 > 0:18:52and where's Moses Takalua?

0:18:52 > 0:18:54Yeah - come up here, Moses.

0:18:54 > 0:18:56You guys, come join me at the front, please.

0:19:00 > 0:19:02Now, last weekend, these boys competed

0:19:02 > 0:19:05in the Feel The Beat talent competition and they performed

0:19:05 > 0:19:07their original anti-bullying song,

0:19:07 > 0:19:09Don't Be A Bully.

0:19:09 > 0:19:14Now, they put in an massive effort to write this song and rehearse,

0:19:14 > 0:19:16despite being split up for some time.

0:19:16 > 0:19:18They also put 100% into their performance

0:19:18 > 0:19:21and I was extremely proud.

0:19:21 > 0:19:24Now, these guys didn't win, but that's life,

0:19:24 > 0:19:25it's what happens, sometimes.

0:19:25 > 0:19:28But what I wanted to do was to read out something

0:19:28 > 0:19:30in reference to these boys -

0:19:30 > 0:19:33a quote from the great Nelson Mandela.

0:19:36 > 0:19:37"We ask ourselves,

0:19:37 > 0:19:43"'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?'

0:19:43 > 0:19:45"Actually, who are you not to be?

0:19:45 > 0:19:50"We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.

0:19:50 > 0:19:53"It's not just in some of us. It's in everyone.

0:19:53 > 0:19:56"And as we let our own light shine,

0:19:56 > 0:19:59"we unconsciously give people permission to do the same."

0:20:01 > 0:20:06Now, despite what you guys might think of yourselves right now,

0:20:06 > 0:20:11I believe that you are genuinely, incredibly brave,

0:20:11 > 0:20:14wonderfully talented, generous and loving boys

0:20:14 > 0:20:16that I'm honoured to know.

0:20:16 > 0:20:20Keep striving for your best and keep letting your light shine.

0:20:20 > 0:20:23You should be extremely proud of what you've achieved this term.

0:20:23 > 0:20:24Thanks, sir.

0:20:24 > 0:20:26APPLAUSE

0:20:39 > 0:20:40CHEERING AND SCREAMING

0:20:42 > 0:20:44'This term has been great.

0:20:44 > 0:20:47'Me and the Fobba-liscious boys, we dominate the playground

0:20:47 > 0:20:48'more than ever before.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50'We're still the sickest cunts in the whole school.'

0:20:50 > 0:20:52Boys, Fobba-liscious. ALL: Fobba-liscious.

0:20:52 > 0:20:54Boys, where's my moisturiser?

0:20:54 > 0:20:56'And it's good, because Mr Joseph has gone -

0:20:56 > 0:20:58'now I can do my dictation tag.

0:20:58 > 0:21:02'I've been doing it everywhere and I don't even get busted.'

0:21:02 > 0:21:05'And I've been telling some teachers that Gray has been

0:21:05 > 0:21:06'getting into tagging lately

0:21:06 > 0:21:08'and to look out for dicks.'

0:21:08 > 0:21:10You know what Gray did? I saw him running out of the toilets before

0:21:10 > 0:21:12and he looked really guilty.

0:21:12 > 0:21:15I think he had ink on his hands - did you boys see that? Yep.

0:21:15 > 0:21:16Hey, Sister Monica. OK, go...

0:21:19 > 0:21:22Argh! Fuck, Sister, I fucked my leg!

0:21:22 > 0:21:24Only joking! I didn't!

0:21:24 > 0:21:27THEY LAUGH AND YELL

0:21:27 > 0:21:28Got you, Sister!

0:21:29 > 0:21:30Sorry for swearing.

0:21:30 > 0:21:33'I miss Mr Joseph a lot, but being in normal class is good,

0:21:33 > 0:21:36'because we get to do science

0:21:36 > 0:21:38'and my favourite subject in science is astronomy.'

0:21:38 > 0:21:41Sir, what page? What page, boys? Four.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44"My Very Easy Memory..." Sir, what planet is this one?

0:21:44 > 0:21:47The one with the crater? One moment, Jonah.

0:21:47 > 0:21:48Can you get a stiffy in space, sir?

0:21:48 > 0:21:50'The other day, we got to go on an excursion

0:21:50 > 0:21:52'to this telescope place

0:21:52 > 0:21:54'and we got to see galaxies and shit

0:21:54 > 0:21:57'and I asked Sir some really good questions.'

0:21:57 > 0:21:59There's Milky Ways and shit!

0:21:59 > 0:22:01Yeah, it's the most amazing thing... Fuck!

0:22:01 > 0:22:04I think I just saw a comet, Sir!

0:22:04 > 0:22:06Is there a comet? I saw a comet. You might have.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08Sir, how come I can't see Tonga?

0:22:09 > 0:22:12Well, it's not in space, is it, Jonah? Oh, yeah.

0:22:12 > 0:22:16'And in our class, if you're really good at astronomy,

0:22:16 > 0:22:20'then you get to go up... Sir picks you to go up and look at the models.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22'I'm really good at astronomy, but Sir never picks me.'

0:22:22 > 0:22:26I need a volunteer... Sir, pick me, please!

0:22:26 > 0:22:27Please, Sir, please! Er...

0:22:27 > 0:22:29Tristan, come up.

0:22:29 > 0:22:30Fucking homo!

0:22:30 > 0:22:33'And there's a competition for...

0:22:33 > 0:22:37'They're picking one kid in Western Sydney to go to NASA'

0:22:37 > 0:22:40which is in America, to see spaceships and shit,

0:22:40 > 0:22:42if you're really good at astronomy.

0:22:42 > 0:22:45And so, if I'm really good at astronomy and I win that trip,

0:22:45 > 0:22:46then when I'm over there,

0:22:46 > 0:22:49I'm going to get a record deal for Moses while I'm there.

0:22:49 > 0:22:52Sir, I want to show you some stuff. I want to name all the planets.

0:22:52 > 0:22:53Sir, I know them.

0:22:53 > 0:22:56Mars...Jupiter...

0:22:56 > 0:22:57What the other one? That's it...

0:22:57 > 0:22:59Uranus. Ura...

0:22:59 > 0:23:00HE LAUGHS

0:23:00 > 0:23:03He said "Uranus!" Sir! Sir, he said "Uranus."

0:23:03 > 0:23:04Uranus is one of the planet things.

0:23:04 > 0:23:07Sir, has a man ever landed on Uranus?

0:23:07 > 0:23:08THEY LAUGH

0:23:08 > 0:23:10No interruptions, please - others are trying to learn.

0:23:10 > 0:23:12Sir, has a dick ever been up Uranus?

0:23:12 > 0:23:14THEY LAUGH

0:23:14 > 0:23:15Jupiter...

0:23:15 > 0:23:19Sir? Sir, um...do men like Uranus?

0:23:19 > 0:23:21THEY LAUGH

0:23:21 > 0:23:23Go to the rugby one.

0:23:23 > 0:23:24That's it...

0:23:24 > 0:23:27'Home's good, too. I've been doing all my homework,

0:23:27 > 0:23:29'I've been really good.'

0:23:29 > 0:23:33I got new school shoes, too - these are my new shoes that my dad got me.

0:23:33 > 0:23:36My one's better. More responsible shoes.

0:23:36 > 0:23:37Look at this kid.

0:23:37 > 0:23:40'And I even did my own art assignment that I made up.

0:23:40 > 0:23:44'I've made sculptures. I papier-mache'd Sister Monica's arm

0:23:44 > 0:23:46'and I even papier-mache'd my dick.

0:23:46 > 0:23:48'I keep them on the mantelpiece.'

0:23:48 > 0:23:52Everybody, dinner is ready. Go back, go back...

0:23:52 > 0:23:55Let's eat. Dinnertime, Shithead.

0:23:55 > 0:23:57Don't eat it, you're fat enough already.

0:23:57 > 0:23:58Eat my shit.

0:23:58 > 0:24:02Eat my shit with a knife and fork and...put it in your mouth, bitch.

0:24:02 > 0:24:05'And another thing - Moses got a laptop,

0:24:05 > 0:24:07'because of his learning difficulties, from school,

0:24:07 > 0:24:10'and it's quite nice, cos me and Moses,

0:24:10 > 0:24:13'we Photoshopped some photos of my head

0:24:13 > 0:24:15'onto some other ones, to trick my dad.'

0:24:15 > 0:24:17Hey, Dad, come check this out...

0:24:17 > 0:24:19'And now, because of the fake photos,

0:24:19 > 0:24:22'my dad thinks that I'm captain of the rugby team,

0:24:22 > 0:24:24'dux of Year 9,

0:24:24 > 0:24:27'president of the SRC and assistant to the priests.'

0:24:27 > 0:24:29This is the science award.

0:24:29 > 0:24:32This is all the best science kids in school, me and this boy.

0:24:32 > 0:24:35I'm so proud of you, man.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37'But the best thing of all is, because my dad thinks'

0:24:37 > 0:24:39I'm all responsible now,

0:24:39 > 0:24:43he's taking me to Tonga to get my Takalua tattoo finished.

0:24:43 > 0:24:45He thinks I'm a real man, now.

0:24:51 > 0:24:54Hi, everyone at Holy Cross - this is a video of my brother Jonah in Tonga,

0:24:54 > 0:24:55getting his tattoo finished.

0:24:55 > 0:24:58As you can see, he's being a bit of a pussy.

0:24:58 > 0:24:59Ah! It kills!

0:24:59 > 0:25:00Don't cry, you pussy.

0:25:00 > 0:25:03Fuck off! Piss off! I don't want to be filmed!

0:25:03 > 0:25:06Say something. Just say it to everyone at school.

0:25:06 > 0:25:08I don't want to be filmed! It hurts like a motherfucker!

0:25:08 > 0:25:12Stop swearing. Respect your uncle. But it kills!

0:25:12 > 0:25:14Or I will smack your ass home.

0:25:14 > 0:25:16It fucking hurts! I mean, focking hurts.

0:25:16 > 0:25:17It's not a swearword...

0:25:17 > 0:25:18Argh! Fuck!

0:25:18 > 0:25:20LAUGHTER AND YELLING What did you do that for?

0:25:20 > 0:25:22UNCLE SHOUTS IN TONGAN It kills!

0:25:22 > 0:25:25Dickhead! It's to take your mind off your tattoo.

0:25:25 > 0:25:28Your balls hurt more than your arms. Fuck off.

0:25:28 > 0:25:30Is it nearly over?

0:25:32 > 0:25:34It's almost done.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37All right, now, just say something to everyone at school.

0:25:37 > 0:25:41Hi, everyone at Holy Cross. Hi, Sister Monica. Hi, Kool Kris.

0:25:41 > 0:25:44Um, this is me, getting my Takalua tattoo

0:25:44 > 0:25:47and when it's finished, I'm going to be a real man. Cut.

0:25:47 > 0:25:50UNCLE SPEAKS IN TONGAN

0:25:50 > 0:25:53It's finished. Oh, it's finished.

0:25:53 > 0:25:57Oh, it looks good. Give us a look.

0:25:57 > 0:26:00It looks like a dick. Um...

0:26:00 > 0:26:01It looks like a dick!

0:26:01 > 0:26:03It means you're a real man now, son.

0:26:03 > 0:26:06You've got the real Takalua tattoo. But it looks gay!

0:26:06 > 0:26:07That's what fathers give to their son

0:26:07 > 0:26:09when they're ready to become man.

0:26:09 > 0:26:11I don't want this tattoo.

0:26:11 > 0:26:13Don't laugh - at least I've got tattoos.

0:26:13 > 0:26:17You're a little pussy. You see? Aisi's got one.

0:26:17 > 0:26:19Your uncle Mamafu got one.

0:26:20 > 0:26:23And I got one, too - see?

0:26:23 > 0:26:24Oh, yuck!

0:26:24 > 0:26:26You didn't tell me you had a dick on your arse!

0:26:26 > 0:26:29That's disgusting. Yes, son.

0:26:29 > 0:26:32I don't want to have a dick on me! You've got a dick on you.

0:26:32 > 0:26:34We all do.

0:26:34 > 0:26:35Jonah...

0:26:35 > 0:26:38HE SPEAKS IN TONGAN

0:26:40 > 0:26:42All Takaluas have a dick on them.

0:26:45 > 0:26:46That's the Takalua style.

0:26:48 > 0:26:50I like it. It looks good.

0:26:51 > 0:26:52I love you, son.

0:26:53 > 0:26:54Love you too, Dad.

0:26:55 > 0:26:59Proud of us... Ah! Fuck, careful! Ooh, sorry, sorry.

0:26:59 > 0:27:03Hey, Moses, one day, you will have a dick on you, too.

0:27:03 > 0:27:05You will! No!

0:27:05 > 0:27:07Dad, thanks for letting me get the tattoo.

0:27:07 > 0:27:08No worries. I thought you...

0:27:08 > 0:27:10Ow!

0:27:10 > 0:27:12Fucking little shite!

0:27:13 > 0:27:16I'm going to get you...!

0:28:29 > 0:28:31Some people have no class.

0:28:32 > 0:28:35They've got footage of me in my underpants in the garden.

0:28:35 > 0:28:38Your favourite comedians... Do you think it's a catchy title?