0:00:02 > 0:00:04Welcome to Just A Minute!
0:00:04 > 0:00:05APPLAUSE
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
0:00:08 > 0:00:10Thank you!
0:00:13 > 0:00:16Hello. My name is Nicholas Parsons,
0:00:16 > 0:00:20and as the Minute Waltz fades away it's my huge pleasure to welcome you
0:00:20 > 0:00:23to this special edition of Just A Minute
0:00:23 > 0:00:24from BBC Television Centre.
0:00:24 > 0:00:29This year Just A Minute turns 45 and as a special birthday treat,
0:00:29 > 0:00:32we've taken over your television screens.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34So without further ado, please welcome to the show
0:00:34 > 0:00:36four talented performers.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39They are seated on my right, Paul Merton and Josie Lawrence.
0:00:39 > 0:00:43And seated on my left, Jason Manford and John Sergeant.
0:00:43 > 0:00:44Please welcome all four of them!
0:00:44 > 0:00:47APPLAUSE
0:00:51 > 0:00:55Players will try to speak for just a minute on the subject I give them.
0:00:55 > 0:00:59They will try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviation.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01The other panellists can challenge at any time they wish,
0:01:01 > 0:01:03and if I uphold the challenge,
0:01:03 > 0:01:06they gain a point and take over the subject.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08If not, the person speaking gains a point, and keeps the subject.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11The person speaking when the whistle goes,
0:01:11 > 0:01:14which tells us 60 seconds have elapsed, gains an extra point.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17By the way, they can repeat the subject on the card.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Paul, would you take the first subject?
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Tell us something about that subject in this game.
0:01:24 > 0:01:2660 seconds, as usual, starting now.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30Once upon a time is the traditional beginning of many a fairy story.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Once upon a time there was a princess
0:01:32 > 0:01:33who lived in a magic forest.
0:01:33 > 0:01:38She was young, 22, nobody else could see her,
0:01:38 > 0:01:42she bathed naked in the lagoon. Her, her...
0:01:42 > 0:01:43BUZZER
0:01:43 > 0:01:45LAUGHTER
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Sorry, I was completely lost it. Where were we?
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Who are these people?
0:01:49 > 0:01:53- You talked about her being naked and you went!- I was gone.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57- Your own vision destroyed you, didn't it?- Yes, I'm happy with the vision.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00- Josie, you challenged.- It was hesitation.- It was, my darling.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03You have a correct challenge. You get a point for that.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05There are 44 seconds still available.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Once Upon A Time, starting now.
0:02:07 > 0:02:13Once upon a time always conjures up an idea of magical places.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16When somebody says, in a dulcet tone, "Once upon a time" to me,
0:02:16 > 0:02:22I feel compelled to grab the nearest pillow and suckle on my thumb.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24BUZZER
0:02:24 > 0:02:25LAUGHTER
0:02:25 > 0:02:30- John, you've challenged.- Technically, you can't suckle on your thumb.- No.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33I've tried it, and it just does not work!
0:02:33 > 0:02:34LAUGHTER
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Yes, but you're not me, and I can suckle.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40- She's got a thumb full of milk. - Yeah.
0:02:40 > 0:02:44No, within the rules of Just A Minute in grammar and language,
0:02:44 > 0:02:46I would be inclined to agree with you, John.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49You can suck your thumb but not suckle on your thumb.
0:02:49 > 0:02:50BOOING
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Hooray!
0:02:52 > 0:02:55John, you have a correct challenge and the subject Once Upon A Time.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57There are 28 seconds available, starting now.
0:02:57 > 0:03:03Once upon a time is a phrase I have to use for my four grandchildren
0:03:03 > 0:03:05because they want me to read a story.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07The trouble is once I say...
0:03:07 > 0:03:08BUZZER
0:03:08 > 0:03:10- Josie's challenge.- Oh, no. Sorry.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12I thought it was a repetition of "once",
0:03:12 > 0:03:14but of course it's in the title. I apologise, John.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18It's in the title, and you can repeat the title or words in the title.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20So, John, an incorrect challenge and a point to you.
0:03:20 > 0:03:2320 seconds still available, starting now.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26When I say, "Once upon a time" to my grandchildren...
0:03:26 > 0:03:27BUZZER
0:03:27 > 0:03:31- There we are. Paul? - Repetition of grandchildren. - You've got too many grandchildren.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34I was thrown by the interruption,
0:03:34 > 0:03:37I thought the audience wouldn't understand that I had grandchildren.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41- I don't think that's fair. - I think they believe you.- Really?
0:03:41 > 0:03:45But I'm too young, aren't I(?) To have grandchildren.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47It's not fair, it suckles.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:03:54 > 0:03:55You know what I like to do in this game
0:03:55 > 0:04:01when someone gives a wonderful remark like that and gets applause,
0:04:01 > 0:04:03I give a bonus point for that.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06Paul, you had a correct challenge and you have 16 seconds
0:04:06 > 0:04:09to tell us more about Once Upon a Time. Starting now.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12Once upon a time there was a small girl called Goldilocks
0:04:12 > 0:04:14who was making her way through the woods,
0:04:14 > 0:04:18she came upon a cottage, knocked on the door, walked in,
0:04:18 > 0:04:21saw three bowls of porridge laid out on the table,
0:04:21 > 0:04:24she thought to herself, "I don't think much of this as a buffet!"
0:04:24 > 0:04:26WHISTLE
0:04:26 > 0:04:29APPLAUSE
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Buffet is a good word.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35As I said before, in this game
0:04:35 > 0:04:38whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40On this occasion it was Paul Merton.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43And the situation is very fair at the end of the first round,
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Paul Merton, Josie Lawrence and John Sergeant have got two points.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50Jason Manford has yet to speak. Oh, you have spoken!
0:04:50 > 0:04:54I'm just taking it all in, working it out. Wait till I go, my God.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56I'll give you point after point after point.
0:04:56 > 0:05:01That would be repetition. Don't do point after point after point.
0:05:01 > 0:05:02LAUGHTER
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Jason, we'd like you to begin the next round.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08The subject is Turning Into My Dad.
0:05:08 > 0:05:1060 seconds, as usual, starting now.
0:05:10 > 0:05:11Well, over the years
0:05:11 > 0:05:15I've found myself turning into my dad on many occasions,
0:05:15 > 0:05:17whether it be phrases that I'm using around the house,
0:05:17 > 0:05:20such as, "If you're cold then put a jacket on."
0:05:20 > 0:05:24"Turn these lights off, it's not Blackpool illuminations."
0:05:24 > 0:05:27I have found myself only recently sitting in the car
0:05:27 > 0:05:30waiting for my wife to get ready for a night out,
0:05:30 > 0:05:32thinking that would make her move a little bit faster.
0:05:32 > 0:05:38Of course, it didn't, and beeping the horn only annoys the neighbours.
0:05:38 > 0:05:39BUZZER
0:05:39 > 0:05:41- Paul's challenged. - A bit of a hesitation.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43A definite hesitation I would have said,
0:05:43 > 0:05:46- that's the first time you've actually spoken.- Yes.- Very good.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48APPLAUSE
0:05:48 > 0:05:50How long was that?
0:05:50 > 0:05:53Was that about eight seconds?
0:05:53 > 0:05:57That felt about two and a half minutes, was it not?
0:05:57 > 0:06:00- No, it was 31 seconds. - 31 seconds is great.- I'll take that.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03You've picked him up on a hesitation. Correct challenge.
0:06:03 > 0:06:07- Turning Into My Dad, starting now. - Turning into my dad is a phenomenon that...
0:06:07 > 0:06:08BUZZER
0:06:08 > 0:06:09Jason challenged.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12I thought it was turning into MY dad?
0:06:12 > 0:06:17LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:06:18 > 0:06:22- Er, no, it wasn't, actually.- Sorry, I thought it was about my dad.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24I thought, "That sounds nothing like my dad."
0:06:24 > 0:06:26I'll tell you what I'll do,
0:06:26 > 0:06:29- because we enjoyed your interruption, I'll give you a bonus point.- OK!
0:06:29 > 0:06:31I'll take it.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Paul, you have another correct challenge. 29 seconds starting now.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38Teenagers were only really invented in the 1950s,
0:06:38 > 0:06:40before that you were expected to dress like your parents
0:06:40 > 0:06:43as soon as you could reasonably be expected to do so.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46- So a boy of six, seven, eight, nine, ten.- Expected, expected...
0:06:46 > 0:06:48BUZZER AND LAUGHTER
0:06:48 > 0:06:53- Jason, you challenged. - Yeah, for repetition.- Of expected?
0:06:53 > 0:06:54Of, er, what you said.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:06:58 > 0:07:00That's what I thought!
0:07:00 > 0:07:05Jason, you may not have played the game much, but you were quick then(!)
0:07:05 > 0:07:08It's funny how quick you pick it up(!)
0:07:08 > 0:07:11So that was a correct challenge of repetition,
0:07:11 > 0:07:13so you have a point for that, 19 seconds,
0:07:13 > 0:07:17and you take back the subject of Turning Into My Dad, starting now.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19One way I know I'll never turn into my dad
0:07:19 > 0:07:22is because he's so good at getting rid of spiders out the bath,
0:07:22 > 0:07:23and I'm still...
0:07:23 > 0:07:24BUZZER
0:07:24 > 0:07:28Spiders AT the bath, I mean, what sort of English is that?
0:07:28 > 0:07:30LAUGHTER
0:07:30 > 0:07:33- I never said that!- At the BAR, OK...
0:07:33 > 0:07:35- He said, "out". - I said "out" the bath!
0:07:35 > 0:07:39- Spiders out of the bath!- I think you're being regionalist, John! - You said "baff", for a start!
0:07:39 > 0:07:43- Out of the bath! I'm just northern.- Really(?)
0:07:43 > 0:07:44LAUGHTER
0:07:44 > 0:07:48I've never heard anyone say that before, but I don't travel much.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50LAUGHTER
0:07:50 > 0:07:52You've never travelled north of Watford, obviously!
0:07:52 > 0:07:55You didn't understand the North Country, did you there, John?
0:07:55 > 0:07:57LAUGHTER
0:07:57 > 0:07:59Jason, you have an incorrect challenge.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02- OK.- So you keep the subject. You've got another point, of course.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05Turning Into My Dad, you've got 11 seconds, starting now.
0:08:05 > 0:08:10When getting rid of insects in our house, I have to shout the wife.
0:08:10 > 0:08:15- Josie?- I'm afraid he's already said wife.- Your wife came in before.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18I've got two of them, though!
0:08:18 > 0:08:20LAUGHTER
0:08:20 > 0:08:22- Even if you had four, it would still be repetition.- OK!
0:08:22 > 0:08:24So, Josie, you had a correct challenge.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26You've got the subject of Turning Into My Dad
0:08:26 > 0:08:29and there are seven seconds, starting now.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33Of course, I am a lady so it would be physically impossible for me
0:08:33 > 0:08:37to find myself turning into my dad, although I have got...
0:08:37 > 0:08:38WHISTLE
0:08:38 > 0:08:40APPLAUSE
0:08:44 > 0:08:47So Josie Lawrence was speaking when the whistle went
0:08:47 > 0:08:50and gained that extra point.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53She's now out in the lead with Paul Merton
0:08:53 > 0:08:56and John Sergeant, we'd like you to begin the next round.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58The subject, I'm sure this is up your street(!)
0:08:59 > 0:09:02LAUGHTER
0:09:02 > 0:09:0360 seconds, starting now.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05BUZZER
0:09:05 > 0:09:09LAUGHTER
0:09:09 > 0:09:11- Hesitation!- Is that fair?
0:09:11 > 0:09:13AUDIENCE: No!
0:09:13 > 0:09:15- I don't think it's fair, is it? - You're right(!)
0:09:15 > 0:09:18Let's abandon the way of playing the programme for 45 years,
0:09:18 > 0:09:22so that John can feel comfortable in what's being done.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26- Well, that's very generous of you Paul.- Absolutely. Let him have it(!)
0:09:26 > 0:09:27To be fair, as a regular TV viewer,
0:09:27 > 0:09:32I definitely would prefer to hear John's version of reggae.
0:09:32 > 0:09:36LAUGHTER
0:09:36 > 0:09:40So, John, they're giving it to you, so you have a point.
0:09:40 > 0:09:41You have Reggae, still.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43You haven't got it yet because you haven't started!
0:09:43 > 0:09:47You have 58 seconds... Are you ready, John? Starting now!
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Reggae was always a rather frightening subject for me,
0:09:49 > 0:09:54I was going through a phase where I was trying to be a West Indian
0:09:54 > 0:09:55tough, cool guy.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59When people said reggae in those days you had to say, "Yeah, man."
0:09:59 > 0:10:03After a bit, I found this rather tedious because I hated the music
0:10:03 > 0:10:06and there was no point in pretending, so what I did then
0:10:06 > 0:10:09was to not say anything like that I would say something like "hmm."
0:10:09 > 0:10:10BUZZER
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Josie's challenged you.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16- A repetition of "say". - Yes, you said "say" twice.- Say?- Yes.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20People say things and they say other things, don't they?
0:10:20 > 0:10:25- In just a minute if you repeat the word.- Say?- Yes, S-A-Y.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27I think we should change the rules after 45 years
0:10:27 > 0:10:29and let John keep the subject.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31LAUGHTER
0:10:31 > 0:10:33This is a very tough business!
0:10:33 > 0:10:34LAUGHTER
0:10:34 > 0:10:39- Josie, do you want John to carry on with Reggae?- Oh, no. I want the part.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42Right, Josie, a correct challenge.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45You have 36 seconds available, still. Reggae, starting now.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Reggae is such sexy music.
0:10:47 > 0:10:51I think it's the off-beat rhythm that does it for me.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53The twang of those guitars.
0:10:53 > 0:10:58My favourite was always Bob Marley and the Wailers.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00No woman, I didn't cry!
0:11:00 > 0:11:03I was jamming in my kitchen to the rock steady beat!
0:11:03 > 0:11:07Or, going down to Electric Avenue to meet my other friends.
0:11:07 > 0:11:11The trouble with reggae is it's quite difficult to dance to
0:11:11 > 0:11:13unless you are a cool person and I am not.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15You have to have really bendy, soft...
0:11:15 > 0:11:17BUZZER
0:11:17 > 0:11:20- Jason challenged. - I think Josie is a cool person!
0:11:20 > 0:11:22LAUGHTER
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- It's incorrect. - She's proving it now, isn't she?
0:11:24 > 0:11:28- Shall we give him a bonus point for speaking?- Yes!
0:11:28 > 0:11:31Jason, you've not played it before, we'll give you a bonus point,
0:11:31 > 0:11:35- but Josie gets a point because she was interrupted.- Yes, sorry. - Five seconds still, Josie.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37With you on reggae, starting now.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Let's all go to a party and dance to a rocksteady beat!
0:11:40 > 0:11:46- We had rocksteady and dance before. - Yes, we did, yeah.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Paul, you got in with two seconds to go.
0:11:49 > 0:11:53You haven't won any friends in the audience, but you've won a point.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55LAUGHTER
0:11:55 > 0:11:58You've got two seconds on Reggae, starting now.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01Bob Marley, Peter Tosh and Bunny Whaler made up...
0:12:01 > 0:12:02WHISTLE
0:12:02 > 0:12:07APPLAUSE
0:12:07 > 0:12:10So, Paul Merton was speaking then when the whistle went.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13That gets him an extra point, equal with Josie in the lead.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Closely followed by Jason Manford and John Sergeant, in that order.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Josie, we'd like you to begin the next round.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22The subject is My Nemesis.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Tell us something about My Nemesis in this game, starting now.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27My nemesis was a girl named Judy.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Now, please remember that name
0:12:30 > 0:12:34because hopefully it will never be repeated.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37I remember my nemesis being beautiful.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39- Paul has challenged. - You said remember twice.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43- Remember that name and "I do remember".- I did!- You did.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46- Otherwise I wouldn't have pressed the button.- I don't believe it.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48LAUGHTER
0:12:48 > 0:12:50- I did. I said remember, twice. - You did, yes.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53Otherwise I wouldn't have pressed the button!
0:12:53 > 0:12:57- All right! Don't play with the point!- We're caught it a time loop.
0:12:57 > 0:13:01- What did I do? - I had to press the button!
0:13:01 > 0:13:04Paul, a correct challenge and you have 48 seconds.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06My Nemesis. Starting now.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09My nemesis was a man who had exactly the same name as me at school,
0:13:09 > 0:13:13he went by the nomenclature of Paul Martin
0:13:13 > 0:13:16and that was what I was really called when I was born.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18I had to change the letters
0:13:18 > 0:13:21that acquired the description of me when I...
0:13:21 > 0:13:22BUZZER
0:13:22 > 0:13:25- Jason challenges.- Was there like a made up name there somewhere?
0:13:25 > 0:13:28- Some sort of hesitation?- No, Jason. - It sounded like you went...
0:13:28 > 0:13:29HE BLEATS
0:13:29 > 0:13:31LAUGHTER
0:13:31 > 0:13:32I didn't cross species!
0:13:32 > 0:13:35I was panicking but I didn't cross species.
0:13:35 > 0:13:40There are occasions where I give the benefit of the doubt, and I will give the benefit of the doubt to Paul.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44If I can redress the balance sometime later I will do it for you,
0:13:44 > 0:13:47but right now, Paul, you have the benefit of the doubt.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49You have 33 seconds, My Nemesis, starting now!
0:13:49 > 0:13:53I suppose if you do have a nemesis it's important to realise
0:13:53 > 0:13:55who he or she may be,
0:13:55 > 0:14:01because you could be indulged in normal social chitchat at a party, without realising the person
0:14:01 > 0:14:03is standing in front of you in hu...man form.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05BUZZER
0:14:05 > 0:14:07LAUGHTER
0:14:07 > 0:14:12- In human form.- Yes, trying to change it from something to something else.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14- Josie, you challenged first. - Yes, hesitation.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17We'd call it hesitation. Josie, you have 18 seconds.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21You take back the subject of My Nemesis, starting now.
0:14:21 > 0:14:25My nemesis was better at everything apart from acting.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27At school I excelled...
0:14:27 > 0:14:30- Oh, Jason challenged. - Repetition of "school".
0:14:30 > 0:14:33Yes, you mentioned school when you were talking before.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35SHE SOBS
0:14:35 > 0:14:38I wouldn't cry, darling, you are only one point behind.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41You know what? I bet she's enjoying this!
0:14:41 > 0:14:43LAUGHTER
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Jason, you had a correct challenge.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49You cleverly got in with 13 seconds to go on the subject of My Nemesis.
0:14:49 > 0:14:50Starting now.
0:14:50 > 0:14:55My nemesis was a young man at school called Clifford Frame,
0:14:55 > 0:14:59who had very hairy arms from around the age of 11.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01I was always jealous of, er, these limbs.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03BUZZER
0:15:03 > 0:15:05- Josie challenged.- Hesitation. - I think there was.
0:15:05 > 0:15:10- You went "...of, er, limbs". - And you cleverly got in with two seconds to go, Josie.- Oh!
0:15:11 > 0:15:14So, two seconds, tell us more about My Nemesis, Josie,
0:15:14 > 0:15:16starting now.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18My nemesis one day, decided to...
0:15:18 > 0:15:19WHISTLE BLOWS
0:15:19 > 0:15:22APPLAUSE
0:15:23 > 0:15:26So, Josie Lawrence speaking as the whistle went,
0:15:26 > 0:15:29gains an extra point and she's now taken the lead
0:15:29 > 0:15:34one ahead of Paul Merton and then Jason Manford and John Sergeant following in that order.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Paul, we'd like you to begin the next round.
0:15:37 > 0:15:42The subject is...
0:15:42 > 0:15:4560 seconds, as usual, starting now.
0:15:45 > 0:15:49What lives at the bottom of my garden is a secret underground
0:15:49 > 0:15:52network of spies devoted to overthrowing this country.
0:15:52 > 0:15:53I wandered down
0:15:53 > 0:15:56to the end of my garden and listened to their secretive plans
0:15:56 > 0:15:59being hatched under the moonlit sky.
0:15:59 > 0:16:04Their chief ambition is to replace Eamonn Holmes with a huge
0:16:04 > 0:16:08animated puppet that acts like the real thing, but doesn't eat as much.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10LAUGHTER
0:16:10 > 0:16:14This is extraordinary, because the very foundation of British journalism
0:16:14 > 0:16:16is built on the career of this wonderful man.
0:16:16 > 0:16:21If he was to become something else that we couldn't trust,
0:16:21 > 0:16:24then I'm sure, the people of Great Britain would say,
0:16:24 > 0:16:27"The news has changed.
0:16:27 > 0:16:31"It's not what it was. What has happened to our esteemed Ulsterman?
0:16:31 > 0:16:34"There's something about him that isn't the same as..."
0:16:34 > 0:16:36BUZZER
0:16:36 > 0:16:39- Jason challenged.- I think repetition of the word same.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42- That's right, you did say same before.- I'm sure I did, yeah.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44- "He's not the same," you said. - That's right.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47But you went for 50 seconds.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49AUDIENCE: Aahh!
0:16:49 > 0:16:53APPLAUSE
0:16:53 > 0:16:56And you get a point, of course, Jason.
0:16:56 > 0:17:0010 seconds. What Lives At The Bottom Of My Garden, starting now.
0:17:00 > 0:17:05What lives at the bottom of my garden is my brother, in the shed.
0:17:05 > 0:17:05We let...
0:17:05 > 0:17:08BUZZER
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Josie challenged.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10I would say hesitation but there wasn't.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13So, Jason, you're still there, with an incorrect challenge,
0:17:13 > 0:17:14another point to you, Jason,
0:17:14 > 0:17:17and What Lives At The Bottom Of My Garden, starting now.
0:17:17 > 0:17:21My sibling finished university around two years ago
0:17:21 > 0:17:23and decided that he didn't want to actually pay...
0:17:23 > 0:17:25WHISTLE BLOWS
0:17:25 > 0:17:26APPLAUSE
0:17:28 > 0:17:31Jason Manford was speaking as the whistle went,
0:17:31 > 0:17:34gained an extra point for doing so and his situation
0:17:34 > 0:17:38is that he's now equal with Paul Merton in second place.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Josie Lawrence are still in the lead, one ahead. Jason...
0:17:41 > 0:17:42It's your turn to begin
0:17:42 > 0:17:44and the subject is...
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Oh, a lovely one...
0:17:46 > 0:17:50Tell us something about that great comic and magician.
0:17:50 > 0:17:5160 seconds as usual, starting now.
0:17:51 > 0:17:55Tommy Cooper is one of my absolute heroes in comedy,
0:17:55 > 0:17:58alongside Les Dawson and Dave Allen and Billy Connolly.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01He's a prop comedian, a...
0:18:01 > 0:18:02BUZZER
0:18:02 > 0:18:05- Josie challenged. Hesitation, I'm afraid.- There was, yes.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08- You tried to remember his props. - I did.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11- Go on, do him for us. - I thought about doing him,
0:18:11 > 0:18:14but his phrase is, "Like that, and it's like that," but that's repetition.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16I wouldn't be able to do.
0:18:16 > 0:18:17LAUGHTER
0:18:17 > 0:18:21- Everyone feels like they can do it. - So, Josie, a correct challenge,
0:18:21 > 0:18:24you get a point for that, of course. You take over the subject,
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Tommy Cooper, 50 seconds, starting now.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30The wonderful Tommy Cooper, the man with the fez. You know,
0:18:30 > 0:18:34a mate of mine, Sandy, who's a make-up artist, used to work on all
0:18:34 > 0:18:38his shows and she said he had one of the biggest faces she's ever seen.
0:18:38 > 0:18:43What a wonderful visage. You only have to look at Tommy and you laugh.
0:18:43 > 0:18:47But his jokes are wonderful and he was a brilliant magician.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49One of my favourite jokes was,
0:18:49 > 0:18:54"I've just been to the dentist. There's nothing wrong with my teeth but my gums have to come out."
0:18:54 > 0:18:55LAUGHTER
0:18:55 > 0:18:57BUZZER
0:18:57 > 0:19:01APPLAUSE
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Paul, you challenged.
0:19:03 > 0:19:04Repetition of ha!
0:19:04 > 0:19:08LAUGHTER
0:19:08 > 0:19:11- You forgot you were meant to keep going!- I did.
0:19:11 > 0:19:15I love it that you told the joke, you tell it again,
0:19:15 > 0:19:19- and you laughed just as loud. - I know, I'm stupid!- No, it's good.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21No, you're lovely. Paul, correct challenge.
0:19:21 > 0:19:2420 seconds still available. Tommy Cooper, starting now.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26I watched Tommy Cooper's last television appearance
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Live At Her Majesty's, I think it was called, 1984.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31I was watching the programme with...
0:19:31 > 0:19:32BUZZER
0:19:32 > 0:19:33John, challenge.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36- Two watchings.- Two watchings, yes.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39- Watching.- Two watchings, yes.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42- You were watching him, watching this.- I was watching you, you watching him.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44It's all wrong, Paul.
0:19:44 > 0:19:48I've got to just... get you back on track.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52John...
0:19:52 > 0:19:55- Can I bring you back into the game?- Yes!
0:19:55 > 0:19:58And you had a correct challenge. You get a point for that.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01The subject is Tommy Cooper, 13 seconds, starting now.
0:20:01 > 0:20:05Tommy Cooper was a wonderful comedian and a brilliant magician.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07It wasn't just the phrase - "just like that", it...
0:20:07 > 0:20:09BUZZER
0:20:08 > 0:20:09Josie, challenge.
0:20:09 > 0:20:13- Repetition of just. - Oh, yes, terrible!
0:20:13 > 0:20:17- It wasn't just the phrases, "just like that."- Well listened, my love.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21APPLAUSE
0:20:21 > 0:20:24And so you've gone back in.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Was that showing me how to play the game?
0:20:26 > 0:20:28LAUGHTER
0:20:28 > 0:20:32I must... "Just, just..."
0:20:32 > 0:20:34two justs, one after the other, as quick as that!
0:20:34 > 0:20:37That's where me timing's...
0:20:37 > 0:20:39"Just, just..."
0:20:39 > 0:20:44Josie, six seconds still available, Tommy Cooper, starting now.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47One of the best sketches was the hat sketch.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48BUZZER
0:20:48 > 0:20:53- Jason, challenge.- Sorry, It was the sketch thing, sketches and sketch.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56- That's right. - I've learned that, now.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59It doesn't matter. Josie gets another point.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02Three seconds still available. Tommy Cooper, starting now.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04What an adorable man...
0:21:04 > 0:21:05BUZZER
0:21:05 > 0:21:08- Paul, challenge.- You did have man before.- You did have man before.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11AUDIENCE GROANS
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Do you remember?
0:21:13 > 0:21:14LAUGHTER
0:21:14 > 0:21:16(FEEBLY) Yes, I remember.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18She remembers, she remembers.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Paul, you've got in with one second to go.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24And one second, Tommy Cooper, Paul, starting now.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26One of the great comedians...
0:21:26 > 0:21:28WHISTLE BLOWS
0:21:35 > 0:21:38Let me give you the situation at the end of that round.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Josie Lawrence is still in the lead. She's two ahead
0:21:41 > 0:21:43of Paul Merton and more ahead of Jason Manford
0:21:43 > 0:21:47and John Sergeant in that order.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50Josie, the subject is...
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Tell us something about those, starting now.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57In the olden days when a wage could be little more than a farthing,
0:21:57 > 0:22:00pound shops were very expensive establishments.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03But now they're the best places for bargains,
0:22:03 > 0:22:07an Aladdin's cave, a cornucopia of treasures.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11Grab your plastic basket and walk down those brightly lit aisles.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14Cranberry scented candles,
0:22:14 > 0:22:17batteries for my household needs,
0:22:17 > 0:22:19a jumbo roll of clingfilm,
0:22:19 > 0:22:22Christmas decorations,
0:22:22 > 0:22:25a glowing Madonna on laminated cardboard,
0:22:25 > 0:22:27all for a pound!
0:22:27 > 0:22:30I have £20 in my purse. I'm rich.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34Look, over there! Binliners,
0:22:34 > 0:22:36mint flavoured hand wipes,
0:22:36 > 0:22:40toothpaste, shampoo and up there plastic chrysanthemums...
0:22:40 > 0:22:42BUZZER
0:22:42 > 0:22:44APPLAUSE
0:22:47 > 0:22:50I love pound shops!
0:22:50 > 0:22:52I love pound shops!
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Paul, what's your challenge?
0:22:54 > 0:22:56- JOHN:- You can't get everything you need!
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Sorry, I think John's trying to run a minicab business while we're on air.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06"He's outside, outside the door. He's ringing the doorbell.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09"I'll be with you, Nicholas. He's ringing the doorbell."
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Times are getting hard, are they?
0:23:11 > 0:23:13I thought we were allowed to comment
0:23:13 > 0:23:16on how well Josie had done and what it revealed about Josie's life.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19- I thought that was part of it. - Go on.
0:23:19 > 0:23:24It did reveal a rather extraordinary interest in these horrible stores.
0:23:24 > 0:23:25LAUGHTER
0:23:25 > 0:23:28- John, she loves them, you don't like them.- No, I don't.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30That's because he's never been to the north.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31That's where they all are.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33LAUGHTER
0:23:33 > 0:23:34He goes to guinea shops!
0:23:34 > 0:23:39"Everything here's a guinea. Wow!"
0:23:39 > 0:23:42So where do you go to? Harrods? Fortnum and Mason's?
0:23:42 > 0:23:46The very best places! You say, "Here's a pound", I go, "What's that?"
0:23:46 > 0:23:50I've never seen one of those. Cheap!
0:23:50 > 0:23:52John, despite you calling me cheap,
0:23:52 > 0:23:56I still want you to grab my hair and drag me across the floor!
0:23:56 > 0:23:58LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:24:02 > 0:24:05I think that deserves a bonus point, don't you?
0:24:05 > 0:24:07AUDIENCE: Yes!
0:24:07 > 0:24:10So, Paul, you challenged. What was it?
0:24:10 > 0:24:12I wrote it down because I was in danger of forgetting it.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15- Repetition of plastic. - That's right, yes.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18You mentioned plastic before. Paul, you got in, nine seconds to go.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Pound shops, starting now.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Josie obviously loves these pound shops. I've wandered in on occasion,
0:24:24 > 0:24:27but I don't actually find much in there that I like.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30I prefer staring through the window.
0:24:30 > 0:24:31WHISTLE BLOWS
0:24:31 > 0:24:34APPLAUSE
0:24:37 > 0:24:38So...
0:24:38 > 0:24:40BELL TINKLES
0:24:40 > 0:24:43That delicate little bell
0:24:43 > 0:24:46is to tell us that we only have time for one more round.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48AUDIENCE GROANS
0:24:48 > 0:24:50Jason, it's your turn to begin.
0:24:50 > 0:24:51The subject is...
0:24:53 > 0:24:55What a wonderful subject. 60 seconds, as usual... oh,
0:24:55 > 0:24:58before we go into the round, you'd like to know the situation.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Josie's in the lead, two ahead of Paul,
0:25:00 > 0:25:03and she's four to five ahead of Jason Manford
0:25:03 > 0:25:06and even more ahead of John Sergeant.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09And before we go into the final round,
0:25:09 > 0:25:12give John Sergeant a bonus point because he needs it.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17I don't need charity!
0:25:17 > 0:25:20You're probably not going charity shops, either.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23Jason, the subject is David And Goliath.
0:25:23 > 0:25:2560 seconds, starting now.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28David and Goliath, of the Bible,
0:25:28 > 0:25:31two famous chaps who didn't get along.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33They had a massive fight,
0:25:33 > 0:25:37which I would've liked to have seen. David was three-foot-four, Goliath 12-foot-8.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40David had a slingshot with a stone in it
0:25:40 > 0:25:42which he aimed right in the centre of Goliath's head.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45He went down, and David went over and chopped his head off,
0:25:45 > 0:25:48which for me, is a bit harsh.
0:25:48 > 0:25:52He's already won the match and he's ruined it for the spectators.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56David and Goliath could also refer to any sort of situation where
0:25:56 > 0:25:58somebody small is facing somebody big, or...
0:25:58 > 0:26:00BUZZER
0:26:00 > 0:26:02- Paul, challenge.- Couple of somebody's there.- Yes.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Small and big. I loved your interpretation.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08- He wasn't three-foot-nothing, David. - No, he wasn't.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10- He was five-foot-eight. - Goliath was a giant,
0:26:10 > 0:26:14- but he was normal size.- Goliath was six-foot-eight at the time,
0:26:14 > 0:26:18but in the repeated telling of the story he's now eight-foot-three,
0:26:18 > 0:26:22so we keep adding a couple of inches, but that's men for you!
0:26:22 > 0:26:26- I think David was just standard height.- I think he was.
0:26:26 > 0:26:30But, Paul, you made a correct challenge. You have the subject of David And Goliath,
0:26:30 > 0:26:3226 seconds, starting now.
0:26:32 > 0:26:36Of course in the Bible, David isn't the fancied man at all.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38Goliath is so huge.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40It's about winning against overwhelming odds,
0:26:40 > 0:26:43perhaps we can also see parallels in the story of the tortoise and hare.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46One animal clearly designed for speed
0:26:46 > 0:26:48and the other one ambling along.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51BUZZER
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Josie, challenge.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54- Repetition of one. - Yes, the other one.- Oh, yes.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Well listened, Josie. 10 seconds to go.
0:26:56 > 0:27:00David and Goliath, with you, starting now.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Now imagine the scene.
0:27:02 > 0:27:06Poor giant, Goliath, has been asked by his mates to go out there
0:27:06 > 0:27:09and fight with a little bloke.
0:27:09 > 0:27:10So he's in a bit of a no-win...
0:27:10 > 0:27:11WHISTLE BLOWS
0:27:11 > 0:27:14APPLAUSE
0:27:15 > 0:27:17So, Josie Lawrence,
0:27:17 > 0:27:21speaking as the whistle went and gains an extra point.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24And now it remains for me to give you the final situation.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26John Sergeant who did very, very well,
0:27:26 > 0:27:31but he did finish in a very strong fourth-place.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34Jason was just ahead, one point ahead, Jason Manford. Did very well.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37He hasn't played the game before.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39Paul Merton, played quite often, in second place
0:27:39 > 0:27:43but three points ahead of Paul was Josie Lawrence.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45So, Josie, you are the winner today.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48APPLAUSE
0:27:50 > 0:27:51It only remains for me
0:27:51 > 0:27:55to say thank you to these four fine players of the game.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58It's goodbye from the delightful audience at Television Centre,
0:27:58 > 0:28:00goodbye from me, Nicholas Parsons,
0:28:00 > 0:28:02and join us again, the next time we play
0:28:02 > 0:28:04Just A Minute!
0:28:04 > 0:28:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:31 > 0:28:32Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd