0:00:02 > 0:00:05- Welcome to Just A Minute. - APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:00:13 > 0:00:19Hello. My name is Nicholas Parsons and as the Minute Waltz fades away,
0:00:19 > 0:00:22it's my huge pleasure to welcome you to this special edition
0:00:22 > 0:00:25of Just A Minute from the BBC Television Centre.
0:00:25 > 0:00:29This year marks the 45th anniversary of Just A Minute
0:00:29 > 0:00:32and to celebrate over 4 and a half decades of radio success,
0:00:32 > 0:00:36they've finally decided to let us deviate our way
0:00:36 > 0:00:38onto your television screens. So without further ado,
0:00:38 > 0:00:42please welcome to the show four talented performers.
0:00:42 > 0:00:46And they are, seated on my right, Paul Merton and Tony Hawks.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49And seated on my left, Sue Perkins and Graham Norton.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Please welcome all four of them.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:01:02 > 0:01:06I ask each player in turn to speak on a subject that I give them
0:01:06 > 0:01:09and they will try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviation.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12And the other three can challenge whenever they wish
0:01:12 > 0:01:16and if I uphold their challenge, they gain a point.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18If not, the person speaking gains a point and keeps the subject.
0:01:18 > 0:01:22We go on like that until the whistle goes which tells us that 60 seconds is up.
0:01:22 > 0:01:26And by the way, they can repeat the subject on the card.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29- Graham, would you take the first subject?- Yes.- Right.
0:01:29 > 0:01:35Oh, it's a really topical subject, in view of what I've been talking to you about. It's 'My 45th Birthday.'
0:01:35 > 0:01:37So will you tell us something about that?
0:01:37 > 0:01:40- I thought that would get a reaction, actually. - LAUGHTER
0:01:40 > 0:01:43They can't believe I am 45.
0:01:43 > 0:01:48The show is 45, but you're not, Graham, so 'My 45th Birthday'...
0:01:48 > 0:01:50LAUGHTER
0:01:50 > 0:01:55- Let's not get on the subject of ages.- Especially with me around.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59So, 'My 45th Birthday', Graham, you have 60 seconds as usual
0:01:59 > 0:02:01and your time starts now.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04I remember my 45th birthday well because it strikes me,
0:02:04 > 0:02:07when you're six, the highlight of a birthday is the candles
0:02:07 > 0:02:14on the cake and the bumps, but by the time you're 45 that just means
0:02:14 > 0:02:18the fire brigade will be called out and there's probably a visit to A&E.
0:02:18 > 0:02:23I wish I could say that my 45th birthday was spent drowning in a Jacuzzi with close showbiz chums
0:02:23 > 0:02:25like TV's Tim Vincent,
0:02:25 > 0:02:29that woman with the big earrings from Eastenders, but no.
0:02:29 > 0:02:33- BUZZING - Sue, you've challenged. - Is that deviation?
0:02:33 > 0:02:36I don't think Tim Vincent is that woman from Eastenders with the big earrings.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40LAUGHTER He may well have, I don't know, deviated subsequently.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43It was a list, it was a list!
0:02:43 > 0:02:45The comma was not apparent, Graham.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49I think what Graham is doing, he was actually saying that he's got more than one friend.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51He was being very cocky, in fact.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54- Sue, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt. - Oh, I love you.
0:02:54 > 0:02:59- LAUGHTER - Which means you have a point for a correct challenge.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03You take over the subject. There are 30 seconds still left and your time starts now.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06My 45th birthday is... BUZZING
0:03:06 > 0:03:08- Graham?- Surely not, Sue?
0:03:08 > 0:03:10LAUGHTER
0:03:10 > 0:03:12I wasn't... That's very sweet. APPLAUSE
0:03:12 > 0:03:14- No, no, surely not.- Gentlemen...
0:03:14 > 0:03:17APPLAUSE
0:03:17 > 0:03:21- I mean, she may well be about to talk about the future.- Oh, yes.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24She may be about to say "..is coming up in eight years time."
0:03:24 > 0:03:29- 15!- Let's not get stupid about it. I mean, you know.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32Graham, what I'll do is give you a bonus point for chivalry.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34Why, thank you.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40But Sue was interrupted so she gets a point for that.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42She keeps the subject.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46There are 28 seconds still available, 'My 45th Birthday', starting now.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50My 45th birthday is so far away in time that worlds may rise and fall.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52- BUZZING - Paul's challenge.
0:03:52 > 0:03:56But surely you can remember it. It can't have been that long ago.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00- She saying it's in the mist of time.- In the future!
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Oh, I didn't make that clear.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06Can I just say you're looking lovely tonight? Point of chivalry.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Oh, oh. OK, a point for chivalry and I'll leave it with Sue.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11It's a easy as that? OK, fair enough.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15All right, Sue, unless they decide they are all going to be chivalrous,
0:04:15 > 0:04:17you keep the subject and you have 24 seconds.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19'My 45th Birthday', starting now.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23I'm 32 plus VAT so for me it's a long time away but I'll look
0:04:23 > 0:04:26forward to the invitation from Graham where I can share
0:04:26 > 0:04:30showbiz fun and jollity in a filled Jacuzzi stuffed with
0:04:30 > 0:04:34Tim Vincent and that bird off Eastenders with the enormous earrings,
0:04:34 > 0:04:36who may or may not be the same person, who can possibly tell?
0:04:36 > 0:04:39- BUZZING - Paul's challenge. - Repetition of person?
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Yes, and you've got in with seven seconds to go
0:04:42 > 0:04:45and your time starts now.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48I can well remember the guest list at my 45th birthday.
0:04:48 > 0:04:52In fact, when I look around the audience now, I can see several familiar faces who were there.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54WHISTLE BLOWS
0:04:54 > 0:04:55APPLAUSE
0:05:00 > 0:05:02In this game, whoever is speaking
0:05:02 > 0:05:04when the whistle goes gains an extra point.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07On this occasion, it was Paul Merton, so Paul,
0:05:07 > 0:05:09you're in the lead at the end of the first round.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12It's not surprising because very few points have been scored.
0:05:12 > 0:05:16Anyway, let's move on. Let's take the next subject.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18And Sue, we'd like you to take the next one.
0:05:18 > 0:05:22God, it's embarrassing now I'm going to tell you what it is.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25The worst smell in the world.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Sue, will you try and tell us
0:05:27 > 0:05:30something about that subject in this game, starting now.
0:05:30 > 0:05:34A Northern Line tube carriage at the height of summer,
0:05:34 > 0:05:37a sweltering afternoon at rush hour,
0:05:37 > 0:05:41with head embedded in moist armpit of a commuter,
0:05:41 > 0:05:47with the heady fug of crotch and tobacco emanating.
0:05:47 > 0:05:51- BUZZING - She's still talking about her 45th birthday party.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02- Tony, I don't think...- Can I just say how magnificent she looks,
0:06:02 > 0:06:08just in case there could be a point going for chivalry, I don't know.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10As the audience enjoyed what you said so much,
0:06:10 > 0:06:13and gave you a round of applause, I'll give you a bonus point
0:06:13 > 0:06:17for that but Sue was interrupted so she gets a point, keeps the subject.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20There are 42 seconds available and your time starts now.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22What could add to that olfactory journey
0:06:22 > 0:06:26but the sound of polystyrene squeaking
0:06:26 > 0:06:29and, suddenly, fried chicken emerging?
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Ah, if only we knew the special ingredients
0:06:31 > 0:06:33that go into that incredible smell bomb
0:06:33 > 0:06:36that gets detonated every time one attempts to make a journey,
0:06:36 > 0:06:39say from Euston in the centre of town... BUZZING
0:06:39 > 0:06:44- Graham, your challenge. - Repetition of journey.- Yes.- Yes.
0:06:44 > 0:06:45Was it really, was it really?!
0:06:45 > 0:06:48LAUGHTER
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Oh, you are good.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53You looked as if you were chancing your arm on that but it was right.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57- It is correct. Yes. - Yeah, yeah, yeah...
0:06:57 > 0:06:59You can Sky Plus all you want, she said it twice.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01LAUGHTER
0:07:01 > 0:07:05So Graham, another point to you for a great challenge.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09And with 23 seconds available, your time starts now.
0:07:09 > 0:07:14A hand-knitted jumper that's been caught in the rain.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Oh, the whiff of wet dog off that!
0:07:17 > 0:07:20I did think that was the worst smell in the world
0:07:20 > 0:07:23until I got some canine friends and ooh!
0:07:23 > 0:07:24BUZZING
0:07:24 > 0:07:28- Sue, you've challenged. - Repetition of 'ooh!'
0:07:28 > 0:07:31LAUGHTER
0:07:33 > 0:07:37No, let's be fair, Sue. I mean, that 'ooh' was a long one.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39A different spelling.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42Five Os in the first one, nine in the second one.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45What Tony said, yeah, what Tony said.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49So I gave you the benefit of the doubt last time. Graham gets the benefit of the doubt now,
0:07:49 > 0:07:51keeps the subject. Another point to you, Graham.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55Eight seconds still available starting now.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58Pet owners will know all too well the fearsome woof-woof fart.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00BUZZING
0:08:00 > 0:08:02LAUGHTER
0:08:07 > 0:08:11I see what I've done there.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13LAUGHTER
0:08:13 > 0:08:17- Paul, your challenge. - Oh, repetition of 'woof'.- Yes.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20They laugh as if they hadn't spotted it.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Right, but Paul, well spotted yourself. You have a point.
0:08:22 > 0:08:26You have the subject, you have three seconds and your time starts now.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30Rotting flesh and sewage, so a zombie with diarrhoea, for me,
0:08:30 > 0:08:32would be the worst smell in the world. WHISTLE BLOWS
0:08:38 > 0:08:42so Paul Merton was then speaking, and so gained that extra point for doing so.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44And he has increased his lead at the end of that round.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47And Tony, will you begin the next round?
0:08:47 > 0:08:51Oh, a lovely historical subject. William the Conqueror.
0:08:51 > 0:08:56Tell us something about William the Conqueror in this game starting now.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59William the Conqueror wasn't always called William the Conqueror.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02For a while, he was named William the Bastard,
0:09:02 > 0:09:07presumably this was because of his lilegitimate birth...
0:09:07 > 0:09:09BUZZING
0:09:09 > 0:09:14What sort of birth did he have? A "lilygitimate"?
0:09:14 > 0:09:17Is that with genuine flowers, what happens there?
0:09:17 > 0:09:21- His mother was Lily.- Yes? And his father was Gitimate. Oh, I see.
0:09:21 > 0:09:26- I retract my challenge. What a load of nonsense.- She married Mr Gitimate.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30A Lilygitimate birth, obvious.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34Tony, it was what we interpret as hesitation
0:09:34 > 0:09:36because you did stumble over the words so Paul,
0:09:36 > 0:09:39another point to you and you have 48 seconds.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42Tell us something about William the Conqueror starting now.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45I know nothing about William the Conqueror. BUZZING
0:09:45 > 0:09:46- Deviation.- Why?
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Because he knows nothing about William the Conqueror.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52But the point is, in this game, whether you know anything about the subject or not,
0:09:52 > 0:09:56you've got to try and keep going without hesitation, repetition or deviation.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59- If you say you don't...- It doesn't matter.- OK.- It doesn't matter.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02It's up to him to try and bluff.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04I'm certainly looking forward to the next minute.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06LAUGHTER
0:10:06 > 0:10:09So Paul, you've got another point, and you have 48 seconds.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11William the Conqueror, starting now.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13From his early childhood, people... BUZZING
0:10:13 > 0:10:16- Tony, you've challenged. - I don't believe him.- No.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18LAUGHTER
0:10:18 > 0:10:22- He doesn't know anything. I'm not accepting that. - I haven't said anything yet!
0:10:22 > 0:10:26He obviously had an early childhood. He wasn't born middle-aged,
0:10:26 > 0:10:28like SOME of us.
0:10:29 > 0:10:34No, I think you're justified, the fact that it was an incorrect challenge, Paul.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37Another point to you. 46 seconds starting now.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40William the Conqueror strode into his mother's house and demanded...
0:10:40 > 0:10:43- BUZZING - Sue, your challenge.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Is he still young, cos striding, I mean,
0:10:45 > 0:10:48it's an emphatic thing for a toddler to do.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51I'm just not buying it, I'm just not buying it, Nicholas.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54LAUGHTER
0:10:54 > 0:10:57I'm also trying to get Paul the maximum
0:10:57 > 0:11:00amount of points for knowing nothing about William the Conqueror.
0:11:00 > 0:11:05I'm doing better on this subject I know nothing about than any subject I've had all day.
0:11:05 > 0:11:09- So you got another point for an incorrect challenge.- Oh, good.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11And 43 seconds starting now.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14Everybody in the neighbourhood hated William the Conqueror.
0:11:14 > 0:11:18They despised the fact he used to go off conquering and not send his mummy,
0:11:18 > 0:11:20poor mother... BUZZING ..wouldn't send her...
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Graham challenged.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25- Repetition of 'mummy'. - Yes, but I said mother before.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29- I said mother after you buzzed. - Well, I've given you a point.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32That's my main aim.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36So Paul, you've got another point, increasing your lead.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40- You've still got 35 seconds. - How many seconds?- 35 seconds.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43To talk about something about which you know nothing. Time starting now.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47I've got a cat called William the Conqueror. He's a lovely little creature.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51He's part moggy and another part... BUZZING Oh, that's two parts.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:11:55 > 0:12:02- No more!- Sue, you challenged first.- Repetition of 'part'. - Yes, absolutely.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Sue, you have the subject now. Tell us something about William the Conqueror .
0:12:05 > 0:12:0730 seconds, starting now.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11William the Conqueror was a Duke of Normandy, got bored and thought he'd have a bit of England.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14Harold was ruling at the time. Dubious lineage,
0:12:14 > 0:12:17but the problem was Edward the Confessor hadn't got any kids. So...
0:12:17 > 0:12:19BUZZING
0:12:19 > 0:12:22- She knows too much about William the Conqueror. - LAUGHTER
0:12:26 > 0:12:30- It's contrast.- Light and shade. - Tony, this happened before.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33You've made a joke and you get a round of applause.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35I'm always inclined to give bonus points for that.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38- So you're winning on bonus points. - Thank you very much.
0:12:38 > 0:12:42Sue, you were interrupted, so you get another point for that.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45There are 20 seconds available. William the Conqueror, starting now.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49William the Conqueror toddles over to the UK and ends up in Hastings.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53Lovely seaside resort, but he aims to go to battle
0:12:53 > 0:12:57because it's the best place for a fight, in that it doesn't need to be renamed.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59That's the annoying thing about locations.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- You have a massive fight there, and then... - BUZZING
0:13:02 > 0:13:05- Graham challenged. - Repetition of fight.- Yes.- Yes.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08APPLAUSE
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Graham, it was a correct challenge.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17And you've got in with three seconds to go.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19William the Conqueror with you, starting now.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Looking at this erudite audience,
0:13:21 > 0:13:25- I realise I mustn't bore you with the details... - WHISTLE BLOWS
0:13:32 > 0:13:36So Graham Norton was then speaking as the whistle went and gained an extra point for doing so.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39At the end of the round, Paul Merton is still in the lead
0:13:39 > 0:13:43and Sue Perkins and Graham Norton are equal second place,
0:13:43 > 0:13:47and then Tony's bringing up the rear with all his bonus points.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51Paul, we'd like you to begin the next round. Bee keeping.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55Can you tell us something about bee keeping, starting now?
0:13:55 > 0:13:58Due to the terrible ecological climate that we now live in,
0:13:58 > 0:14:01bees are actually missing out on existence.
0:14:01 > 0:14:05We have two, all of us, encourage to keep our... Oh, God's sake! BUZZING
0:14:05 > 0:14:08- There's about five mistakes in that. - Hesitation.- Yes, indeed it was.
0:14:08 > 0:14:12- Dreadful.- There are 51 seconds still available.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Sue, you tell us something about bee keeping, starting now.
0:14:15 > 0:14:21Bees are stoners. They love a bit of a smoke to calm them down.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23- Nothing signifies... - BUZZING
0:14:23 > 0:14:27- Graham's challenge. - This is inappropriate, I feel.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31It's a celebration of Just A Minute and I don't think this should be in the programme.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33They're mellow, mellow bees.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37We shouldn't be encouraging insects to break the law, should we?
0:14:37 > 0:14:42- I don't know what your challenge was, Graham. - I was just stopping it, that's all.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46- It was more of an intervention.- I don't think it was legitimate.- OK.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49- So, Sue keeps the subject. - It's your programme.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51LAUGHTER
0:14:56 > 0:14:59You saw me. I tried to stop this.
0:15:05 > 0:15:09Oh, the darling boy's in a huff.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Graham, because they enjoyed your reaction,
0:15:11 > 0:15:14I'm going to give you a bonus point.
0:15:14 > 0:15:18Now, was that that hard? Was that that hard? LAUGHTER
0:15:18 > 0:15:21- Thank you.- But Sue was interrupted, so she keeps the subject.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Can I just say, Sue, you're looking particularly beautiful today.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25LAUGHTER
0:15:25 > 0:15:30- Chivalry.- You're going to all give her a bonus point, you?
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Graham, you've got your bonus point, Sue, you've got the subject.
0:15:32 > 0:15:38- 43 seconds starting now.- Bee keeping is important because, as Paul said,
0:15:38 > 0:15:40they are dying out due to monoculture,
0:15:40 > 0:15:45agriculture only providing a single crop for us to eat.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Bees thrive on diversity. They need to eat freely.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49- BUZZING - Graham challenged.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51I'm so bored.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54You didn't like the drug bees, now you don't like the serious bees.
0:15:54 > 0:15:59- What kind of bees you like? - Mono blah blah blah...
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Are we allowed to challenge for boring?
0:16:03 > 0:16:07You can challenge for anything you like, it's up to me to decide whether you get a point or not.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10So Sue, she was interrupted.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13She has a point for that and the subject is still bee keeping,
0:16:13 > 0:16:17and there are 29 seconds starting now.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20I kept bees for about 15 minutes, had to wear a spacesuit, got badly stung
0:16:20 > 0:16:25because one little blighter got underneath the enormous cowl that I was wearing,
0:16:25 > 0:16:29not of the Simon variety, merely a sort of headgear that was going to keep them away from me.
0:16:29 > 0:16:34They can really nip, what with that massive great pointy thing that comes out of their backside.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38So I retreated because other hobbies are, frankly, safer. BUZZING
0:16:38 > 0:16:42- Paul challenged.- They don't really nip, bees.- They don't.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44- They sting, they don't nip. - They inject something into you.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47- Do they(?)- Yes.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50- Are you saying they don't have enormous canine teeth(?)- No, no.
0:16:50 > 0:16:54- They inject something into you. - You're thinking of dachshunds.- Yes.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58- Dachshunds and bees.- And does it really come out of their backsides?
0:16:58 > 0:17:02- Yes, well, sort of.- No, no, quite far back but not the backsides.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06I was going to pick them up on that but I was too shy, really.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Is it like a thorax prong, is that what you'd have thought?
0:17:09 > 0:17:13I would have said thorax prong had I got the subject.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16- Wasn't he one of Norway's biggest film stars?- He was.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- I've got all his films at home. - LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Wonderful actor. Wonderful.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Paul, you had a correct challenge. They don't sting, they inject.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28And there are nine seconds available, starting now.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31Thorax Prong was sitting in his dressing room.
0:17:31 > 0:17:35He was about to appear in The Swarm, definitely a bee movie. AUDIENCE GROANS
0:17:35 > 0:17:37He looked at his fellow co-stars.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41They were dreadful little insects, he said to himself. WHISTLE BLOWS
0:17:41 > 0:17:44APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Paul Merton was then speaking as the whistle went and gains a point.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55So where are we now? Graham, it's your turn to begin again.
0:17:55 > 0:18:01Yes, it's almost what you did just then, 'Throwing a Tantrum'.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04LAUGHTER
0:18:04 > 0:18:08So will you tell us something about throwing a tantrum?
0:18:08 > 0:18:11In this game, starting now.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13Some days I so long to have the emotional freedom
0:18:13 > 0:18:19of a three-year-old child, to have myself prostate in a supermarket...
0:18:19 > 0:18:21- BUZZING - Sue challenged.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23Prostate? Yes, I...
0:18:23 > 0:18:25LAUGHTER
0:18:25 > 0:18:32- I don't know that they do them in Tesco's.- It's their Finest range.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Every little helps.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37No, we should all have our prostates seen to occasionally.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40- I don't need mine. - LAUGHTER
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Sue challenged and it was correct. There are 50 seconds available.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45'Throwing a Tantrum', starting now.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47What you might not know about me
0:18:47 > 0:18:50is that I am the Mariah Carey of factual entertainment
0:18:50 > 0:18:54and unless there's a huge collection of freshly-born puppies
0:18:54 > 0:18:57- in my dressing room and only blue M&Ms, I will have... - BUZZING
0:18:57 > 0:19:01- Tony challenged.- M and Ms.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04Yes, I was going to say repetition of 'M', but as Paul has pointed out,
0:19:04 > 0:19:08thankfully, she said 'M' the first time
0:19:08 > 0:19:12and 'Ms' the second time, so what I'm going to try and do
0:19:12 > 0:19:16is cleverly work a bonus point out of this
0:19:16 > 0:19:19by saying how magnificent YOU'RE looking this evening.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:19:26 > 0:19:29That was not what you said before you came on.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31"Is he still going?!", you said
0:19:33 > 0:19:37- I'm inclined to take a point away from you, Paul!- Well, I'll have it.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43If you flatter the chairman, you're entitled to a bonus point, don't you think?
0:19:43 > 0:19:44AUDIENCE: Yes!
0:19:44 > 0:19:48You've got it then. But it was an incorrect challenge, Sue, so you still have the subject.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52'Throwing a Tantrum', 39 seconds starting now.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56The worst tantrum I ever did see was Nicholas Parsons before a radio recording of Just A Minute.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59There he was in his thong,
0:19:59 > 0:20:03screeching like a barn owl for all to hear,
0:20:03 > 0:20:06because somebody hadn't put fresh roses in the dressing room.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08- Well, he turned... - BUZZING
0:20:08 > 0:20:12- Who's challenged? Tony?- Me. I think there was a dressing room before with fresh puppies in it.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14It was deviation anyway.
0:20:14 > 0:20:15LAUGHTER
0:20:15 > 0:20:20No, Tony, you've got the subject and you have 'Throwing a Tantrum',
0:20:20 > 0:20:2224 seconds starting now.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!
0:20:24 > 0:20:28We can all remember these amazing tantrums of John McEnroe
0:20:28 > 0:20:31during Wimbledon and how the crowd were delighted by them
0:20:31 > 0:20:33in some sort of perverse way.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35Although this behaviour was clearly appalling,
0:20:35 > 0:20:41they loved it and they bemoan the fact that the tennis people today
0:20:41 > 0:20:44do not carry on with such vigour and passion.
0:20:44 > 0:20:48They would like to see more of it.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50WHISTLE BLOWS
0:20:50 > 0:20:52APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:20:58 > 0:21:01So Tony Hawks was then speaking as the whistle went,
0:21:01 > 0:21:06and with great passion he went up to that moment and gained an extra point for doing so.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09And he's still in fourth place.
0:21:09 > 0:21:13Sue. Oh, what an interesting subject.
0:21:13 > 0:21:17'My First Celebrity Crush.'
0:21:17 > 0:21:18AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:21:21 > 0:21:24That's the noise we used to hear when people said "And tonight's star prize..."
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Right, Sue, your turn to begin.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31'First Celebrity Crush', 60 seconds as usual starting now.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34My first rather improbable celebrity crush
0:21:34 > 0:21:39was Jan-Michael Vincent from cult mess Airwolf.
0:21:39 > 0:21:43What an extraordinary voice, which I thought at the time reeked of sexual allure and promise
0:21:43 > 0:21:45but in fact he probably had laryngitis.
0:21:45 > 0:21:49It was as if his tonsils had been grated by a parmesan shaver,
0:21:49 > 0:21:53and when he took off his spectacular aviator sunglasses,
0:21:53 > 0:21:57his eyes resembled raisins in a half-baked sponge,
0:21:57 > 0:22:02and yet something about him appealed to my teenage self.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05- The way he sat, pigeon chest... - BUZZING
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Tony, you've challenged.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09I think there may have been a repetition of 'way.'
0:22:09 > 0:22:12Yes, the way he sat and the way he did this.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14AUDIENCE: Awwww...
0:22:14 > 0:22:15He's on his way now.
0:22:18 > 0:22:23So you have 27 seconds, 'My First Celebrity Crush.' Starting now.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26My first celebrity crush was when Luciano Pavarotti
0:22:26 > 0:22:28fell on me at a party.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30It was absolutely terrifying.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34I was underneath him for quite some time, hospitalised for four weeks.
0:22:34 > 0:22:38Tried to bring a court case against him, he wasn't having any of it.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40He had all the best lawyers in Italy
0:22:40 > 0:22:43and you know how corrupt some of them can be.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46- Berlusconi, he'd organised the party we had afterwards... - BUZZING
0:22:46 > 0:22:49- Graham, you challenged. - Repetition of 'party'.- Yes.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52He fell on you when you were at a party. Repetition of the word.
0:22:52 > 0:22:57So Graham, you cleverly got in with six seconds to go. Starting now.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00My first celerity crush was David Cassidy.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02That was fine but then I met him. Eurgh!
0:23:02 > 0:23:05WHISTLE BLOWS
0:23:05 > 0:23:07APPLAUSE
0:23:16 > 0:23:19We don't want the whistle, do we?
0:23:19 > 0:23:21- How bad was he? - We want to hear more.
0:23:21 > 0:23:25That's all you need to know! Just eurgh...
0:23:25 > 0:23:29Anyway, Graham Norton was then speaking as the whistle went
0:23:29 > 0:23:32- and Graham, it's your turn to begin. - BELL RINGS
0:23:32 > 0:23:34- Oh!- Is it teatime?
0:23:34 > 0:23:36That particular little tinkle tells me
0:23:36 > 0:23:39that we have one more round to go.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42Let me give you the situation as we move into the final round.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45In ascending order, Graham is trailing Tony by two points,
0:23:45 > 0:23:51and he's trailing Sue by two points. Sue is trailing Paul by two points.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53So that is the situation in ascending order.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57- And Graham, it's back with you to begin.- Everything to play for.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00And the subject, a lovely one, Venice.
0:24:00 > 0:24:04So tell us something about Venice in this game, starting now.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Venice is the city of romance.
0:24:06 > 0:24:12So vital is that town to lovers and so drawn are they...
0:24:12 > 0:24:15- BUZZING - Tony challenged.- Were there two 'so's quite close together?
0:24:15 > 0:24:19- Little tiny words... - LAUGHTER
0:24:19 > 0:24:24I breathed several times during it as well.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27Listen, everything to play for, it's dog eat dog.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29I'm coming last!
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Kick me while I'm down!
0:24:32 > 0:24:35Well, it was a correct challenge, so maybe I should give it to you
0:24:35 > 0:24:37unless you want to give it back to him.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39No, it's fine.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43Can I just say, Nicholas, how youthful, handsome, debonair,
0:24:43 > 0:24:46charming and sophisticated you are appearing tonight.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48It's a real joy to be sat next to you and,
0:24:48 > 0:24:51is that cologne you're wearing or just a natural,
0:24:51 > 0:24:53uber-fertile man-musk that's emanating?
0:24:55 > 0:24:58Sue, you need more than one bonus point to win.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Man-musk might have given me two.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05- All right, give her a bonus point. - LAUGHTER
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Tony, clever listening from you. A correct challenge.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18Venice, and 51 seconds starting now.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21I've heard it said that Venice is actually sinking,
0:25:21 > 0:25:26unlike the Italian economy which is doing terrifically well, I believe.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28BUZZING
0:25:28 > 0:25:30- Graham, you challenged.- Yes, I did.
0:25:30 > 0:25:34LAUGHTER
0:25:34 > 0:25:37- Italian economy?- It was deviation!
0:25:37 > 0:25:38Graham, that's a correct challenge
0:25:38 > 0:25:41and you were very quick on that one, I must say.
0:25:41 > 0:25:4332 seconds, starting now.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46A lot of people wonder, how did they do build Venice?
0:25:46 > 0:25:49Well, happily, I've talked to Nicholas.
0:25:49 > 0:25:53He was there when it happened and he told me
0:25:53 > 0:25:57how they put down rushes and mats and then spat on them.
0:25:57 > 0:25:58And then they got some mud...
0:25:58 > 0:26:01- BUZZING - Sue, you've challenged.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04- Well, he's both hesitating there and also deviating.- Why?
0:26:04 > 0:26:08Well, I don't believe that Venice was built on a series of rush mats on the water, because matting...
0:26:08 > 0:26:14- The man there's nodding, and how old's he? - LAUGHTER
0:26:14 > 0:26:17No, Sue, I give you the benefit of the doubt.
0:26:17 > 0:26:21Venice is with you, 26 seconds, starting now.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24Ah, Venice, indeed the city of the true romantic,
0:26:24 > 0:26:27which is why I only did a day trip and then went on to somewhere like Milan.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30Heavy, hardcore, industrial and loveless.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33But when I was there, I was delighted to see the vaporetto,
0:26:33 > 0:26:37the water taxi that transports you from Marco Polo Airport
0:26:37 > 0:26:41to the heart of that great city, where you can... BUZZING
0:26:41 > 0:26:44- Tony challenged.- I think she said city before.- Yes, you did.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47- Repetition of city. Started off with city.- Yes, you did.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50So Tony, you've got back in with the subject,
0:26:50 > 0:26:55which probably pleases you very much. And you have only six seconds to go, starting now.
0:26:55 > 0:26:59I went there once many years ago. What a romantic occasion.
0:26:59 > 0:27:03- Lost my virginity. Terrific evening it was. - BUZZING
0:27:03 > 0:27:06- I stood there. Huge people came past...- Sue!- No, I haven't finished!
0:27:06 > 0:27:10- I want to tell them. - LAUGHTER
0:27:10 > 0:27:15Can I just say I was there and it was Rotterdam, NOT Venice.
0:27:15 > 0:27:19LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:27:22 > 0:27:27Anyway, Sue, an incorrect challenge. And Tony's got one second left
0:27:27 > 0:27:29on Venice, starting now.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31Lulu said to me once... WHISTLE BLOWS
0:27:31 > 0:27:33APPLAUSE
0:27:40 > 0:27:45So it now remains for me to give you the final score in this exciting edition of Just A Minute.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49Graham Norton, who has given such wonderful value,
0:27:49 > 0:27:53and we love him dearly on the show, he only just finished in second place.
0:27:53 > 0:27:58He was three points behind three people who are equal in the lead.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00LAUGHTER AND GROANS
0:28:00 > 0:28:02So it couldn't be fairer than that.
0:28:02 > 0:28:06Paul Merton, Tony Hawks and Sue Perkins. Three equal winners.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13I love it when it works out as fair as that.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16We hope you've enjoyed this edition of Just A Minute.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19From us, goodbye, and don't forget,
0:28:19 > 0:28:23be with us the next time we play Just A Minute!
0:28:23 > 0:28:26Yay, yay!
0:28:35 > 0:28:38Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd.