:00:09. > :00:12.Welcome to the Lee Mack's all star Welcome to the Lee Mack's all star
:00:12. > :00:21.cast, the show that has big celebrity guests but also gives
:00:21. > :00:25.normal people like me, John Hamner, the chance to be our star -
:00:25. > :00:35.LAUGHTER. I think that's about as naturalistic as we're going to get!
:00:35. > :00:55.
:00:55. > :01:05.Roll titles. Roll titles.
:01:05. > :01:08.
:01:08. > :01:13.APPLAUSE . HELLO! LADIES AND APPLAUSE . HELLO! LADIES AND
:01:13. > :01:20.GENTLEMEN, LET'S HERE IT for my house choir, the gospel honest
:01:20. > :01:23.truth! Bit awkward. Quick tip, always check what the others are
:01:23. > :01:28.wearing before you come out. to Lee Mack's All Star Cast, the
:01:28. > :01:37.show that not only has fantastic celebrity guests but gives you, the
:01:37. > :01:44.audience, the chance to star. All right, calm down, you sycophants.
:01:44. > :01:54.She's known for being very frank, it's Fern Britton! And so is he,
:01:54. > :01:55.
:01:55. > :02:05.it's Frank Skinner! We've got standup from the brilliant Stuart
:02:05. > :02:05.
:02:05. > :02:09.Francis. And music from our favourite tank commander, James
:02:09. > :02:13.Blant - James Blunt. But sadly there were some people we weren't able to
:02:13. > :02:17.cast this week. We weren't able to cast Bruce Forsyth, he has been too
:02:17. > :02:22.busy celebrating the news of his knighthood, which means he's lower
:02:22. > :02:26.than a King but higher than a Jack. The only bad news for Bruce is
:02:26. > :02:31.he'll no longer be able to use his famous catchphrase, where's my
:02:31. > :02:35.bloody knighthood, my bloody knighthood, where? Just as we
:02:35. > :02:39.rehearsed. Someone else we couldn't cast is a certain Premiership
:02:39. > :02:44.footballer who shall remain nameless. Believe it or not, despite
:02:44. > :02:48.the fact everyone knows who he is, we still technically can't mention
:02:48. > :02:54.his name in connection with certain stories. It's ridiculous. Trust me,
:02:54. > :03:00.as a standup comedian, this story is ruining my gigs. Not just my gigs,
:03:00. > :03:09.everyone's gigs. And people have paid good money to go to these gigs.
:03:09. > :03:16.Sod it, I don't care what the rules are. It was Gary Neville. It wasn't
:03:16. > :03:23.really, it was Ryan Giggs. We also haven't been able to cast a Filipino
:03:23. > :03:30.gentleman by the name of June Raybalawing, who became the world's
:03:30. > :03:36.smallest man, 22 inches tall, holding a twiglet. If you don't
:03:36. > :03:44.believe me, type put it this way pee know into going.
:03:44. > :03:48.- philipino - better not. Also NASA, they are arresting a woman who has
:03:48. > :03:53.been trying to sell moon rock, her identity has not been revealed,
:03:53. > :03:57.although I think it might be Mrs N Armstrong of Houston, Texas. I knew
:03:57. > :04:05.not everyone would get that joke. It's about the Houston gag, we have
:04:05. > :04:10.a problem. It's true though, moon rock is very rare, actually
:04:10. > :04:14.rare and valuable than most precious metals, and we are genuinely lucky
:04:14. > :04:18.enough tonight to have one here. This is genuinely a piece of moon
:04:18. > :04:22.rock that has been lent to us by the science museum, it has an estimated
:04:22. > :04:32.value of over half a million pounds. You're laughing, this is genuine.
:04:32. > :04:32.
:04:32. > :04:39.you don't believe me, look inside, it says moon rock. You see? And they
:04:39. > :04:49.laughed when I asked the chuckle brothers to ask for me this week.
:04:49. > :04:53.
:04:53. > :04:57.Here you go. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to meet our star guests!
:04:57. > :05:03.My first guest tonight started her TV career on the local news, as did
:05:03. > :05:08.I, but for very different reasons. I've improved. My second guest is
:05:08. > :05:13.genuinely one of may favourite immediateians of all - comedians of
:05:13. > :05:21.all time, and he's had two number ones, but at his age, it's hard
:05:21. > :05:25.hold it in. Please welcome, Britton and Frank Skinner!
:05:25. > :05:35.#Baby, you're a firework. Come on, let your colours
:05:35. > :05:50.
:05:50. > :05:54.you. A nice little ageist gag to begin with. It's a fabulous
:05:54. > :05:58.entrance. That's what I imagine the afterlife will be like. Except
:05:58. > :06:03.obviously I will probably be walking upstairs. But I'll be happy to go
:06:03. > :06:13.with you, Fern. I could be going either way, I'm not sure. That's
:06:13. > :06:16.worth knowing! Don't clap that. You're obviously both got something
:06:16. > :06:21.in common, you're more used to sitting in my seat and being the
:06:21. > :06:25.host. First question, any tips, Fern? You have interviewed them all.
:06:25. > :06:29.Not them all, that would have taken forever. What was the best interview
:06:29. > :06:37.you did? Oh gosh. I suppose the one that got the most publicity was
:06:37. > :06:44.Blair. But the most enjoyable ones, I think, were people like lies is a
:06:44. > :06:51.Minelli, Lauren Bacall, fantastic. Am I the only person in the room who
:06:51. > :06:57.doesn't know who Rosalind Russell is. I don't either. Does anybody
:06:57. > :07:03.know? Man alive. Is it someone you interviewed on a bus? She was
:07:03. > :07:13.woman who appeared with Marilyn Monroe in gentlemen prefer blonds.
:07:13. > :07:15.
:07:15. > :07:19.That's Jane Russell. Oh back bleep � it was. As a chat show host, know
:07:19. > :07:23.the names of the people you are interviewing. You also interviewed
:07:23. > :07:26.the Prime Minister, Rupert Bear. Have you had any good or bad
:07:26. > :07:32.experiences? One thing I would say is don't talk to the guests
:07:32. > :07:39.the chat show. I interviewed Ringo Star once and before we went on,
:07:39. > :07:44.said to me, by the way, I'd rather not talk about the Beatles, so we
:07:44. > :07:47.did 20 minutes on Thomas the tank engine. As you know, part of
:07:47. > :07:50.job tonight is to help me members of our audience to be
:07:50. > :07:54.of the show, first up tonight, need to cast someone who will make a
:07:54. > :07:58.special appearance later. I'm looking for someone with Oscar
:07:58. > :08:03.winning acting skills, and whoever you two pick will appear in a major
:08:03. > :08:08.BBC costume drama, otherwise known as the cobbled together sketch
:08:08. > :08:11.the end of this show, and tonight the emotion we need is that of
:08:11. > :08:15.shocked. Think of your motivation, because I'll be asking you about
:08:15. > :08:19.that later. It can be the most shocking thing you've ever seen or
:08:19. > :08:24.done. In my case, going to a strip club and meeting a woman who
:08:25. > :08:30.in the same road as me, it was my mum. I still put a tenner in her
:08:30. > :08:40.knickers. So on the count of three, your best shocked face. Three, two,
:08:40. > :08:48.
:08:48. > :08:54.Let's have a look at some of our hopefuls. That's like a shocking
:08:54. > :09:03.to eat a melon. You know I used to have a big doll that looked just
:09:03. > :09:08.like that. What's your name? Sam. What was your motivation?
:09:08. > :09:12.years ago, I went for a walk in the local park to feed the deer, and I
:09:12. > :09:16.was with my landlady and her family, I was busy walking along, having a
:09:16. > :09:20.chat, I thought she was right behind me, I couldn't hear her talking to
:09:20. > :09:25.me, so I turned round and there she is squatting there by a bush
:09:25. > :09:34.a wee, and I saw everything. So she was your landlady and your squatter,
:09:34. > :09:38.I suppose. Let's have a look at another one. Blimey. You look
:09:38. > :09:45.you have seen a ghost. A really underwhelming ghost. What's your
:09:45. > :09:51.name? I'm Nick. What was your motivation? Over Christmas, I went
:09:51. > :09:56.out with the boys, woke up the next morning feeling all ill, sinus
:09:56. > :10:03.problems and couldn't breathe out of one nostril, next morning same
:10:03. > :10:09.problem, I sneezed and a lump of kebab flew out of my nose. How did
:10:09. > :10:13.it get up there? To this day, don't know. I like to eat my food
:10:13. > :10:19.quick, but I didn't realise I inhaled it. Are you sure it was
:10:19. > :10:25.piece of kebab and not you? Let's have a look at another shocked face.
:10:25. > :10:31.I'm guessing you've got some really shocking teeth. What's your name?
:10:31. > :10:35.I'm Path. What was your motivation? A few years ago we went on a family
:10:36. > :10:41.holiday to Florida. remember that. That is shocking.
:10:41. > :10:46.Okay, so yes? I decided to take a photograph in the hotel room, took
:10:46. > :10:51.the photo, and unfortunately, I took the photographs into work a few
:10:51. > :10:56.later when I got back, somebody was looking through them, and she looked
:10:56. > :11:02.very embarrassed and said, did you know that had happened? And my
:11:02. > :11:07.husband had actually had his manhood hanging out of his shorts. What's
:11:07. > :11:12.weird is I didn't even notice. There's a rather embarrassed looking
:11:12. > :11:18.gentleman just next to you. an embarrassed looking gentleman,
:11:18. > :11:23.yes. What's your name? Smudge. Shame the picture wasn't. It's
:11:23. > :11:33.interesting that these stories are all about the surprise appearance of
:11:33. > :11:35.
:11:35. > :11:40.meat. APPLAUSE thank you, I'll choose our winner, who's it going to
:11:40. > :11:44.be. I do like the first one, I to say. The bush in the thing.
:11:44. > :11:51.Yes, let's have that lady, Sam. Sam's in the sketch, we'll be seeing
:11:51. > :11:54.more of her later. Talking of shocks, what's the most
:11:54. > :12:03.shocks, what's the most shocking thing that's happened to you?
:12:03. > :12:06.Recently, I got waxed . You didn't. I did. What, the - more or less
:12:06. > :12:11.everything. The whole chest. I say the whole chest, that didn't
:12:11. > :12:17.that much wax. The legs and about half, just one half of the -
:12:17. > :12:23.did you do that? It was an economic relief thing, it was - Comic Relief
:12:23. > :12:27.thing, it was done by Denise van Outen, who is an inexperienced
:12:27. > :12:33.waxer, for all her many talents. You're supposed to do it in strips,
:12:33. > :12:40.but it was like a pizza on my chest, and then she needed two hands
:12:40. > :12:46.tear it off, so I was going oo, and when she tore it off, I looked like
:12:47. > :12:50.a Robin. I had an enormous red circle there. There must be a lot of
:12:50. > :12:56.people that have been waxed there. I thought, I bet this is a double
:12:56. > :13:03.bluff, it actually doesn't hurt that much, but it actually does. You're
:13:03. > :13:09.not a particularly hire suit person - hirsute person, are you? I'm not.
:13:09. > :13:16.It hasn't grown back. A tiny bit here. I've got less than that, I've
:13:16. > :13:20.got nothing. What about your legs? I've got legs, yes. Now it's time to
:13:20. > :13:30.welcome to the all star cast one of the best standups in the world right
:13:30. > :13:32.
:13:32. > :13:37.now, all the way from Canada, please welcome Stuart Francis. Thank
:13:37. > :13:47.very much, my name is Stuart Francis. Well, that's my stage name,
:13:47. > :13:53.
:13:53. > :13:58.my real name is Barbara Streisand. I don't know how you got here, I
:13:58. > :14:04.squatted down, put my head between my knees and fell forward. That's
:14:04. > :14:14.how I roll. I have never asked a rhetorical question, how cool
:14:14. > :14:24.that? I like my women the way I like my skis, rented. With a little wax
:14:24. > :14:31.on their bottom. Swish. People who reinforce their own country's
:14:31. > :14:37.negative stereotypes, what's that all aboot? It gets me so upset, I
:14:37. > :14:47.want to take my ice hockey stick and club a seal, or a motors, or Justin
:14:47. > :14:47.
:14:47. > :14:53.- or a moose, or Justin Bieber. APPLAUSE. I'm Canadian. I'm
:14:53. > :14:57.some of you figured that oot. don't think my wife being very
:14:57. > :15:05.religious has had an effect on our two daughters, Luke and John The
:15:05. > :15:11.Baptist. I've got a moses joke that will divide the room. I
:15:11. > :15:15.of television, the entire screen for that matter. I saw a show called
:15:15. > :15:20.Last of the Summer Wine, know if you've seen it. It's about
:15:20. > :15:30.three creepy old guys who roam the countryside trying to be funny and
:15:30. > :15:33.
:15:33. > :15:42.failing miserably. No, Top Gear. Good night!
:15:42. > :15:50.Ladies and gentlemen, Stuart Francis! Actually, here's a joke for
:15:50. > :15:57.you. Knock, knock. Who's there? Zebra. Zebra, tea cake, muffin
:15:57. > :16:01.spanner, cheese flan, jelly fish, toenail, Jock strap, crumble. Yes,
:16:01. > :16:06.you're not laughing now, but wait until you see the late night repeat
:16:06. > :16:10.with that signer for the deaf, you'll wet yourself. This is the
:16:10. > :16:14.point in the show where I would be normally introducing our next guest,
:16:14. > :16:17.this week it was supposed to be Andy Murray, but he was too busy getting
:16:17. > :16:22.ready for Wimbledon, booking the holiday for straight after the
:16:22. > :16:25.quarter-finals. I'm joking, he's Britain's Andy Murray. Until
:16:25. > :16:29.the quarter-finals, when he will be Scotland's Andy Murray. We have
:16:29. > :16:36.idea to find a replacement, it's time for:
:16:36. > :16:39.# You got the look. Yes, you've the look. We asked everyone in our
:16:39. > :16:44.audience which famous person they think they look like, and the winner
:16:44. > :16:49.will get to star in the trailer for next week's show. First up, Ryan
:16:49. > :16:55.Johnson. Are you all right? Not bad. What do you do? I work in
:16:55. > :17:01.retail. Frank and Fern, do we any ideas who that might be? It's
:17:01. > :17:04.very difficult. * I haven't got it. Everyone else has, except me.
:17:04. > :17:10.There are some diseases that you would be thankful for that sentence.
:17:10. > :17:15.Does this person wear spectacles? Yes. If you look through the
:17:15. > :17:22.spectacles, if this was a magic eye face, where you stare and they
:17:22. > :17:30.disappear, I think there is a hint of David Walliams in there. I have
:17:30. > :17:36.been mistaken for him once. Also bit of Brian Cox. But not the
:17:36. > :17:42.person you mainly look like? Not yet, know. We need the glasses on.
:17:42. > :17:48.Are you in ladies' fashion? Yes. You're not going to say he looks
:17:48. > :17:51.like Gok Wan? like Gok Wan? He's just got glasses
:17:51. > :18:01.on. You're the only person in the
:18:01. > :18:01.
:18:01. > :18:11.who doesn't think he looks like him. Can we have a look? Yes, that's Gok
:18:11. > :18:13.
:18:13. > :18:22.Wan. Have you got any tips on how I can look good naked? A body bag?
:18:22. > :18:29.You cheeky little shit! I'm have to work on my chat show skills.
:18:29. > :18:35.You cheeky little shit! And another one, Amy Perry. Do we know who she
:18:35. > :18:45.thinks she looks like? The person you look like, is she an actress?
:18:45. > :18:46.
:18:46. > :18:50.Yes. Is she an actress in a soap opera? Yes. Unless it's Ena
:18:50. > :18:58.Sharples, I probably won't get it, that's the last time I watched
:18:58. > :19:07.soap on A is she in east enders? It was a fair bet. Yes. Did she used
:19:07. > :19:17.to play - exactly. (playing trumpet). Is it Louie Armstrong?
:19:17. > :19:18.
:19:18. > :19:25.Shall I give you a clue? Natalie Cassidy. No, Janet Trump et. It is
:19:25. > :19:34.Natalie Cassidy, who plays Sonia east enders. Do you try and mix with
:19:34. > :19:44.other celebs? No, but I think my mum looks like Johnny Vegas. Oh my
:19:44. > :19:45.
:19:45. > :19:49.God. Thank you! You are a charming daughter. Hello, Mrs Vegas.
:19:49. > :19:59.Especially when she has got a cup of tea and a monkey. Can we have
:19:59. > :20:05.
:20:05. > :20:15.look - APPLAUSE. I'm absolutely loving that. Another one? We've got
:20:15. > :20:15.
:20:15. > :20:22.Kalin. It's not Gok Want's mum, it what do you do? I'm a personal
:20:22. > :20:30.trainer. You're very energetic, can barely keep your glasses up.
:20:30. > :20:35.I'm wondering whether she can give us a wink? Do you know, we're all
:20:35. > :20:41.actually terrified. Are you getting that Frank? I got it from the clue.
:20:41. > :20:49.I was quite a long way away. were you? Michael Foot, the former
:20:49. > :20:57.leader of the Labour Party. Okay, Fern, who do we think it is? You
:20:57. > :21:05.are the Weekest Link. Gob! * * * * * *
:21:05. > :21:11.goodbi! Have you met anyone famous? I met George Michael in a sauna,
:21:11. > :21:17.when he was in Wham with the lovely hair. He gave me his autograph. He
:21:17. > :21:22.popped in his taxi and went off, and the lady who runs the sauna said:
:21:22. > :21:30.he's left his underpants in the locker. Did you get them? Yes.
:21:30. > :21:36.Have you got them now? Can I go and get them? Look at you! Only for
:21:36. > :21:41.you, I know you're interested. Thank you. I bet she hasn't -
:21:41. > :21:50.the autograph, everything's here. can do a great big auction at the
:21:50. > :21:55.end. Have they been washed? No! You know what I'm looking for. You
:21:55. > :22:02.you know what he's like with his driving, there's probably skid
:22:02. > :22:08.marks. It's a comedy basic, can I put them on my head? They're tiny.
:22:08. > :22:14.Bringing back memories, George? are tiny, aren't they. Your head
:22:14. > :22:20.bigger than his bottom. I'm going to leave this in your hands, Frank and
:22:20. > :22:25.Fern. Who are we giving the job of promoting next week's show to? I
:22:25. > :22:31.quite like Johnny Vegas. That was a late entrant. You can have them
:22:31. > :22:36.both, Vegas and Sonia. That sounds lovely. Let's hear it for Johnny
:22:36. > :22:40.Vegas and her daughter, Sonia from Eastenders. We will be seeing them
:22:40. > :22:50.later on in the show. Now, people think I'm just a glamorous
:22:50. > :22:58.
:22:58. > :23:03.this show, I wrote that. I'm not, you know. I even do my own bookings.
:23:03. > :23:09.Lee Mack's All Star Cast? Hello, Giggsy. You're not on this show, you
:23:09. > :23:13.got it mixed up. You're on that other one, Mr And someone else's
:23:13. > :23:18.missus. I have to go, a young at the door. By the way, have you
:23:18. > :23:24.got any good chat-up lines? Have you been on Big Brother? Oh, have you
:23:24. > :23:32.been on my Big Brother? I know it was your little brother, but it
:23:32. > :23:37.doesn't work for the joke. It's TV's Tess Daly! Nice to see you, to see
:23:37. > :23:40.you - Please don't. Thanks for coming round, it's always nice
:23:40. > :23:45.meet the guests before they come on the show. I didn't really imagine
:23:45. > :23:51.you living in a place like this. It's only temporary. I mean, you're
:23:51. > :23:58.doing better than I expected. What can I get you to drink, tea, coffee
:23:58. > :24:04.or something a little bit stronger? What have you got? Bovril. No
:24:04. > :24:14.thanks. It's home made. All you need is a blender and a cow. Anyway,
:24:14. > :24:16.
:24:16. > :24:21.give us your coat and grab a seat. So, I'm guessing you must be very
:24:21. > :24:28.lonely at the moment, Peter being away on tour. Who's Peter? Your
:24:28. > :24:32.husband, Peter Kay. I'm married to Vernon Kay. Oh, that makes my next
:24:32. > :24:37.question a bit redundant. going to say, do you not think that
:24:37. > :24:43.big cumbersome northern lad is punching above his weight? It still
:24:43. > :24:53.makes sense. They told me you were a funny man did they? Yes. So
:24:53. > :24:58.
:24:58. > :25:02.when's that going to kick in? I'll make us that drink. (cow moos) what
:25:02. > :25:08.are we going to talk about when come on the show? We could talk
:25:08. > :25:15.about Strictly. Bruce Forsyth or Len Goodman. If you had to, which one?
:25:15. > :25:25.Is there something wrong with you? Come on, they're good looking lags.
:25:25. > :25:25.
:25:25. > :25:33.I know - lads. I know Craig Revel who are would. Lovely lovely fella.
:25:33. > :25:42.(knocks at the door) it's my beloved landlady, Miss Trent. It looks like
:25:42. > :25:46.someone's led the air out of Eddie Izzard. Where's the rent, boy?
:25:46. > :25:51.do you know about him? I see. I'll start paying the rent when you
:25:51. > :26:00.out the heating. There's wrong with the heating. You reckon?
:26:01. > :26:09.He's right about how cold it is, I'm jersey. Friesian. Looks like
:26:09. > :26:19.I've got a couple of uninvited guests. You're telling me. Where
:26:19. > :26:24.
:26:24. > :26:34.were we? (knock at door) pizza delivery for Mack? Perfect timing.
:26:34. > :26:43.And the wine. Oh, thank you. * and the flowers. And the Barry White
:26:44. > :26:48.CD. Oh, and the other thing you asked me for, Boots was shut, sorry.
:26:48. > :26:52.Right then. Listen, Lee, thanks much for the chat, but I had better
:26:52. > :26:58.get going. Hang on, I have got little surprise for you. It's not a
:26:58. > :27:03.surprise, I've already heard it's little. Come on, it's very romantic.
:27:03. > :27:13.Look Lee, can I be blunt? Don't worry, I've already got that
:27:13. > :27:17.
:27:17. > :27:20.covered. APPLAUSE #His life is average, he's a bit of
:27:20. > :27:25.a bore. Don't change the words!
:27:25. > :27:29.# He came on Strictly and tried to have you on the floor. He tells his
:27:29. > :27:38.corny jokes, he thinks you are amused. He thinks he's got
:27:38. > :27:45.with you, he's deluded and confused. He's pitiful. He's pitiful. He's
:27:45. > :27:51.pitiful, it's true. You're here because we can't afford Chris
:27:51. > :28:00.Martin! # He's an utter disgrace, it's been
:28:00. > :28:10.really nice to meet ya, so go back home now to Peter. It's Vernon!
:28:10. > :28:13.
:28:13. > :28:18.APPLAUSE I can see why you became cockney rhyming slang.
:28:18. > :28:22.And thanks to Lady Gaga for lending us that cow costume. It's not
:28:22. > :28:28.our star guests and studio who get the chance to be in my
:28:28. > :28:33.star cast tonight, it's also you, the viewers at home. Yes, it's time
:28:33. > :28:38.for: # When, will I, will I be famous?
:28:38. > :28:43.For 15 seconds. Yes, famous for 15 seconds where we
:28:43. > :28:48.offer you, the viewers at home, the chance to join my cast by showcasing
:28:48. > :28:52.your skills or attendance note, anything at all as long as it can be
:28:52. > :28:59.done - skills or talent, it can be done from home in 15
:28:59. > :29:06.seconds. And the act that will be crowned this week's famous for 15
:29:06. > :29:10.seconds - yes. You're not getting the cushion. It's * it genuinely
:29:10. > :29:14.cost more than the crown. The winner will return next week to face new
:29:14. > :29:23.challengers. Let's meet our first hopeful, Anna. Where are you calling
:29:23. > :29:27.from? From Erskine in Scotland. From where? Whydy shout like a
:29:27. > :29:31.grandad? It's magic. How does she fit in the telly? What are you going
:29:31. > :29:40.to do for us tonight? I'm going to sing you a little song. This is
:29:40. > :29:49.your 15 seconds of fame. Okay. #oo a, just a little bit. Just
:29:49. > :29:59.little bit more! You know what I'm looking for. Anna Devitt, ladies and
:29:59. > :30:04.gentlemen. Marvellous. APPLAUSE. Very good navel there. Like a
:30:04. > :30:09.gaping chasm. You could keep a hard boiled egg in there, on a long
:30:09. > :30:14.journey. Have you got anything else in your repertoire? Anything
:30:14. > :30:24.in your navel? Yes, I can sing you another song. Please do.
:30:24. > :30:26.
:30:26. > :30:36.worries. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy
:30:36. > :30:38.
:30:38. > :30:42.birthday dear Lee, happy birthday to you. APPLAUSE actually, it isn't my
:30:42. > :30:47.birthday, but when she first did that with her T-shirt, I thought it
:30:47. > :30:51.was. Next up, Matthew. Can you hear me? Yes, I can hear you. What are
:30:51. > :31:01.you going to do for us tonight? going to show you a bit of white
:31:01. > :31:02.
:31:02. > :31:09.magic. Okay, Matthew Baldwin, this is your 15 seconds of fame. I
:31:09. > :31:19.be imagining this, but I think a man is just Downing milk. I
:31:19. > :31:20.
:31:20. > :31:27.could be the build-up to something very spectacular. Did you just drink
:31:27. > :31:37.milk? 2 pints of milk in one go. In 15 seconds? Sadly, there was a
:31:37. > :31:37.
:31:37. > :31:42.technical hitch. Could you do it again? No, no, no! Don't do it
:31:42. > :31:47.again, you'll die. You can't die drinking milk. You can't drink 4
:31:47. > :31:52.pints of milk like that. Okay, I don't want you dying. Do you want
:31:52. > :31:58.do it again, or would you rather not? I'll flip it to see whether
:31:58. > :32:05.do it again. Oh, it's a coin, I see. Is this how you make all your
:32:05. > :32:09.decisions? Do you want milk in your tea? Hang on. And sugar? I'll tell
:32:09. > :32:14.you what, it was so entertaining, just give us the highlights,
:32:14. > :32:20.sip. Brilliant. I think you'll agree, ladies and gentlemen, that is
:32:20. > :32:26.some talent. I would never have forgiven myself. I honestly think
:32:26. > :32:31.there's a genuine chance that could have killed him. Okay, hello Jodie
:32:31. > :32:35.Cotton. Are you there? Hello. are you doing? I'm good, thank you,
:32:35. > :32:40.yourself. Is that a normal door, or do you live in a stable? I'm not
:32:40. > :32:47.telling you. What are you going to do? A bit of singing. Fantastic.
:32:47. > :32:55.Take it away Jodie, this is your 15 seconds of fame.
:32:55. > :33:03.# The taste of her cherry chap stick. I kissed a girl and I liked
:33:03. > :33:07.it - oh sorry, I messed it up! Don't worry, we weren't enjoying it. I'm
:33:07. > :33:16.joking, that was wonderful. Have you got any other songs in your
:33:16. > :33:20.repertoire? #30 years of hurt, never stopped me
:33:20. > :33:26.dreaming. I'm finding your voice fine, but the song's a bit
:33:26. > :33:28.irritating. What's your navel like? I feel you're missing an opportunity
:33:28. > :33:32.here. Can I just explain, we
:33:32. > :33:37.something earlier, that you won't understand. Frank's not trying to
:33:37. > :33:43.come on to you. What kind of a chat-up line is: what's your navel
:33:43. > :33:49.like? I'm interested to know what is behind that door. It's the
:33:49. > :33:59.chipmunks that she was miming. There's a big dog. Bring the dog
:33:59. > :34:01.
:34:01. > :34:10.in. Do you want to see him? he is. I tell you what, he's lazy.
:34:10. > :34:18.Did he used to be owned by Alice Cooper? Let the dog go back to
:34:18. > :34:24.watching 3D TV. Round of applause for Jodie. So Frank and Fern, their
:34:24. > :34:31.fates rest in your hands. Who want to crown as this week's famous
:34:31. > :34:38.for 15 seconds winner? I have a winner mind does it involve the
:34:38. > :34:45.navel? Yes, I agree. The singing belly button, Anna Devitt, well
:34:45. > :34:53.done. How do you feel about winning? Brilliant! Tell me, can you join us
:34:53. > :34:57.next week? Yes, we'll be there. That's good. She has got some guts.
:34:57. > :35:04.Ladies and gentlemen, - come on, it was a joke! Ladies and gentlemen,
:35:04. > :35:14.let's hear it for Anna Devitt. We'll see you next week. If you want to be
:35:14. > :35:17.
:35:17. > :35:20.part of my cast next week, then go online. Thanks to all from tonight,
:35:20. > :35:25.Fern Britton, Frank Skinner, Stuart Francis, Tess Daly and of course our
:35:25. > :35:35.studio audience. Right now, to play us out, performing I'll Be Your Man,
:35:35. > :35:36.
:35:36. > :35:45.please welcome the fantastic James Blunt!
:35:45. > :35:53.#So many voices, too many noises, invisible wires keeping us apart.
:35:53. > :36:00.# So many choices, but they're all disappointments, and they only steal
:36:00. > :36:06.me away from you. # But I'm into our private bubble,
:36:06. > :36:11.let's get into all kinds of trouble # slide over here, let your
:36:11. > :36:17.feel the way. There's no better method to communicate.
:36:17. > :36:23.# Girl, stop your talking, words just get in the way, I'll be your
:36:23. > :36:33.man. #so baby, come over, from the
:36:33. > :36:35.
:36:35. > :36:43.the sofa. I'll be your man. #I'll be your man.
:36:43. > :36:50.#so many faces, staring at their shoelaces, when all anyone wants
:36:50. > :36:56.to be seen. So tonight, let's be honest, we all want to be wanted.
:36:56. > :37:02.And darling, you've got me wanting you.
:37:02. > :37:07.#Everything that I'm trying to say, just sounds like a worn out cliche.
:37:07. > :37:13.# Slide over here, let your hands feel the way. There's no better
:37:13. > :37:20.method to communicate. # Girl, stop your talking, words
:37:20. > :37:30.just get in the way. I'll be your man.
:37:30. > :37:40.#so baby, come over from the end of the sofa. I'll Be Your Man.
:37:40. > :37:40.
:37:40. > :37:45.#I'll be your man. #what are you looking for, someone
:37:46. > :37:49.you just can't ignore, it's love coming from my heart, you've
:37:49. > :37:59.got me tripping. What we're all looking
:37:59. > :38:03.
:38:03. > :38:11.feel the way. There's no better method to communicate.
:38:11. > :38:21.#Girl, stop your talking, words just get in the way. I'll be your man.
:38:21. > :38:22.
:38:22. > :38:32.#so baby, come over from the the sofa. I'll be your man.
:38:32. > :38:35.
:38:35. > :38:40.#I'll be your man. #I'll be your man.
:38:40. > :38:44.I'm Sonia from East it has enders, I'm Sonia from East it has enders,