0:00:01 > 0:00:05Welcome to Lee Mack's All Star Cast, the show that makes stars out of people like me.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Soon, everyone will know my name, and my name is...
0:00:08 > 0:00:10Time's up. Roll titles.
0:00:26 > 0:00:30APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:00:33 > 0:00:38# Party hard is in the house tonight
0:00:38 > 0:00:42# Everybody just have a good time
0:00:42 > 0:00:46# We're gonna make you lose your mind
0:00:46 > 0:00:49# We just wanna see you... Shake it. #
0:00:49 > 0:00:52CHEERING AND WOLF WHISTLES
0:00:53 > 0:00:58Shameless. Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for my choir, the Gospel Honest Truth!
0:00:58 > 0:01:01CHEERING
0:01:02 > 0:01:06The most popular stair-based entertainment act since Thora Hird.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12Hello, and welcome to Lee Mack's All Star Cast, with celebrity guests
0:01:12 > 0:01:14and you, the audience, starring.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17CHEERING
0:01:17 > 0:01:23In my All Star Cast tonight, he's got poison running through his veins, it's Alice Cooper!
0:01:23 > 0:01:26CHEERING
0:01:27 > 0:01:31She's got Newcastle Brown Ale in her veins, it's Sarah Millican!
0:01:31 > 0:01:35CHEERING
0:01:35 > 0:01:38We've got stand-up from the wonderful Rita Rudner!
0:01:38 > 0:01:40CHEERING
0:01:42 > 0:01:44And we've got music from the Kaiser Chiefs.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47CHEERING
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Sadly, there were some people we weren't able to cast.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55We couldn't cast Andy Murray, cos he's sulking after being knocked out of Wimbledon.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58- ALL: Aww. - It's happened again!
0:01:58 > 0:02:02The last time a British male got to the final of Wimbledon, George V was king,
0:02:02 > 0:02:06WWII was a year away, and Sue Barker had just started her third series of A Question Of Sport.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12Andy's mum hit the news this week for putting messages on Twitter
0:02:12 > 0:02:16about how attractive the other players are. Did you read this?
0:02:16 > 0:02:20It's the last thing you need - your mum getting all sexy when you're trying to reach a semi.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:02:26 > 0:02:30We also couldn't cast Wayne Rooney this week - he's recovering from Glastonbury.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33Apparently he loved his new experience so much,
0:02:33 > 0:02:35he's thinking of giving Reading a go.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Sorry, not Reading, reading.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47We haven't been able to cast Ryan Giggs again. Three weeks in a row.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51I'm starting to think the producers aren't even ringing him.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54They're just bringing his name up so I can make cheap, shameless jokes.
0:02:54 > 0:02:59Latest update - he's been too busy paying for his brother's divorce to join us.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03He seems to be using the same idea as the China department in Debenham's -
0:03:03 > 0:03:05you break it, you pay for it.
0:03:05 > 0:03:10Ryan's wife has publicly stated she'll stay with him, but this is his last chance.
0:03:10 > 0:03:15She said, "If he has just one more eight-year relationship with a family member, he's out."
0:03:15 > 0:03:19Carol Vorderman couldn't be here tonight. She's too busy with her new toy-boy.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Carol's 50, he's 37, so that's an age gap of...
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Well, I'm sure Carol can work it out.
0:03:24 > 0:03:30When Carol asked him what he was looking for in a woman, he replied, "An M, I, L, F, and a consonant."
0:03:30 > 0:03:33- We... - LAUGHTER
0:03:33 > 0:03:36MILF, yeah? MILF.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Luckily we have been able to cast you, the studio audience.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43Again, I'm looking for one of you to join me in my sketch later in the show.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46And as ever, you need to prove you can act. Tonight,
0:03:46 > 0:03:48I'm after someone who can portray pain.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52Think of the most painful thing that's ever happened to you.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54In my case, it was the time I got my hand caught in the dishwasher.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57We had to sack her after that.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01Everyone! Prepare your painful faces.
0:04:01 > 0:04:033... 2...
0:04:03 > 0:04:061... Pain!
0:04:06 > 0:04:09MUSIC: Theme from "Casualty"
0:04:09 > 0:04:14If anyone's tuned in now, they must be thinking, "The acting in Casualty's gone downhill"
0:04:14 > 0:04:18I'm joking. They'd never think that.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23Some great painful faces there! Let's have a closer look at some of you.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25LAUGHTER
0:04:25 > 0:04:28You actually look like you're enjoying the pain.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Where are you?
0:04:30 > 0:04:34- And what's your name?- Mandy. - What was your motivation behind your painful face?
0:04:34 > 0:04:38- I went to our local garden centre... - Right.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41..walked into the aquatic centre and thought, "Oh, that's nice."
0:04:41 > 0:04:45- There was a nice dish, about so big. - It was bigger when you did that.
0:04:45 > 0:04:50- Definitely about that big.- I bet your husband's happy with that sort of measuring, but carry on!
0:04:50 > 0:04:55He is. So I put my finger in the tank, and all of sudden it just came along and it bit my finger!
0:04:55 > 0:04:57- What did?- The fish!
0:04:57 > 0:05:00So I flicked my finger out, and the fish was attached.
0:05:00 > 0:05:05I saw it fly across the room and land in a ladies' handbag!
0:05:07 > 0:05:10- Can I just ask, are you sure this happened?- I promise you!
0:05:10 > 0:05:12- I promise you. - You weren't watching Tom and Jerry?
0:05:12 > 0:05:14No, I promise you it did!
0:05:14 > 0:05:17- Did you not tell the woman?- No!
0:05:19 > 0:05:21I would love to have seen the scene when she got home.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26"Did you buy this?"
0:05:26 > 0:05:29OK, let's have a look at another pained face.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31LAUGHTER
0:05:31 > 0:05:34I said "in pain", not "insane".
0:05:34 > 0:05:35Where are you, sir?
0:05:35 > 0:05:38- I'm here.- What's your name? - My name's Joey.- Joey.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42- What do you do, Joey? - I'm a scientist.- A scientist.- Yeah.
0:05:42 > 0:05:48- Are you, Joey? What kind of science? - Er, I study blood cell development.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51I've got loads of gags on that, but I'm pressed for time.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55- What was your motivation? - A couple of years ago, me and my mates went go-karting.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58I was doing quite well until this guy cut me off,
0:05:58 > 0:06:03and as a result I crashed into the barriers at full speed
0:06:03 > 0:06:07and taking basically the full impact with my nuts on the steering wheel.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09AUDIENCE: Oooh.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13Literally every bloke in the audience crossed their legs then.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16And a couple of women, actually.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19- So you literally knackered the steering wheel!- Yeah!
0:06:23 > 0:06:27Thanks, Joey. Let's have a look at another pained face.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30LAUGHTER
0:06:31 > 0:06:34I don't know where you are, but you can obviously sleep through pain.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- Where are you? ..What's your name? - It's David.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39And what was your motivation?
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Well, about four weeks ago I was hit by a horse.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47- When you say "hit", punched, or...? - No.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51It had actually broken from its stable and bolted down a bridleway,
0:06:51 > 0:06:55and basically it took me out of my shoes and dragged me about four feet.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58Took you out of your shoes?
0:06:58 > 0:07:01- Did he lift you out of the shoe? - No, it was...
0:07:01 > 0:07:05Did he go, "I'm sick of these metal ones, I'm having those comfortable ones"?
0:07:05 > 0:07:08That's great, thanks for that. It's time for me to pick my winner.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11It's a tough one, but I've made my decision. It's got to be Mandy!
0:07:11 > 0:07:14APPLAUSE AND CHEERS
0:07:14 > 0:07:17We'll be seeing you in the sketch.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Shall we crack on and meet the guests?
0:07:21 > 0:07:25# I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it
0:07:25 > 0:07:30# I like to move it, move it I like to...move it! #
0:07:30 > 0:07:33My first guest tonight forged a highly successful career
0:07:33 > 0:07:37when he decided to start wearing make-up and give himself a girl's name.
0:07:37 > 0:07:41Funny enough, I do the same at the weekends and I've been told I'm in danger of ruining my career.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44My next guest is comedy's Angel of the North, by which I mean
0:07:44 > 0:07:47she stands by motorways with her arms outstretched.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49We couldn't afford to pay her train fare.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51It's Alice Cooper and Sarah Millican!
0:07:53 > 0:07:57# School's out for summer
0:07:57 > 0:08:00# Summer, yeah
0:08:00 > 0:08:05# School's out for ever
0:08:05 > 0:08:07# For ever, yeah
0:08:07 > 0:08:15# School's been blown to pieces... #
0:08:15 > 0:08:18APPLAUSE AND CHEERS
0:08:21 > 0:08:24You're both looking brill. Brilliant.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27You've gone for very alternate colour schemes,
0:08:27 > 0:08:29of the shocking bright red and the black.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32I heard you were going to clean up tonight, and did the same thing.
0:08:32 > 0:08:36I was going to clean up cos I'd done something you don't want to talk about.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40- Did you see our pain faces back there?- Yes!- Yes!
0:08:40 > 0:08:42- Have you had painful experiences? - Not much physical pain.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45I mean, I've seen Dreamgirls, that was...
0:08:46 > 0:08:48- Alice?- Oh, I... Yeah.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52- My show is a painful experience, the whole thing.- For the audience, or you?
0:08:52 > 0:08:55- For me and the audience, yeah! - Just checking.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58I told the guys when they joined the band, "You're going to see the world,
0:08:58 > 0:09:02"You're going to get paid, you're going to get stitches."
0:09:02 > 0:09:05That sounds exactly like my blind date advert.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Isn't it true that you actually stabbed yourself in the leg?
0:09:11 > 0:09:15- Yes.- With no other than Errol Flynn's sword.- Errol Flynn's sword.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18That sounds like a euphemism! LAUGHTER
0:09:18 > 0:09:22- I, uh... You're on stage...- Can I check before you tell this story, what were you doing with his sword?
0:09:22 > 0:09:26Well, I took some fencing lessons and the guy gave me
0:09:26 > 0:09:28the sword that was in Captain Blood. The movie,
0:09:28 > 0:09:31with Basil Rathbone and everything.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35So on stage, the fog's going, and after half a bottle of whisky
0:09:35 > 0:09:38you stick it in the stage.
0:09:40 > 0:09:44And it was through there, right through there.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47And I thought, "Well, it's already in."
0:09:47 > 0:09:50You know.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53Leave it there, because the audience thought it was a trick. The band didn't!
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Cos it was spurting, you know, like this.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58And it's just sort of going in the wind like that,
0:09:58 > 0:10:01and I'm going, "Oh, this is going to hurt after the show."
0:10:01 > 0:10:04So I pulled it out, then I took a bottle of whisky and poured it in.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07- Cos I figured that's what James Bond would do.- If you were ever
0:10:07 > 0:10:09involved in, like, a serious accident,
0:10:09 > 0:10:11people would just go, "Oh, he's rehearsing."
0:10:11 > 0:10:15- Yeah.- "Should I phone 999?" "No, he'll be getting ready for a gig."
0:10:15 > 0:10:19- "It's Alice, leave him." - "He's always taking his arms off."
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Now, Sarah, you're touring, or you're about to tour.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24- In October, yes. - What do you do to fill the day?
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Sit in hotel rooms all day waiting for the gig? How does that work?
0:10:27 > 0:10:30- I have a lot of baths.- Right. How many?
0:10:30 > 0:10:34Enough. I'm not very good at relaxing,
0:10:34 > 0:10:38that's my problem. That's why I have baths. I went on holiday last week
0:10:38 > 0:10:41and we had a hot tub, which is essentially having a bath on holiday,
0:10:41 > 0:10:44and we were in the dark and I spotted a hedgehog and got quite excited
0:10:44 > 0:10:48- cos I'd never seen a hedgehog before. I...- You've never seen a hedgehog?
0:10:48 > 0:10:53Well, I'd seen them on the telly, and at children's parties with pineapple and cheese on...
0:10:53 > 0:10:54LAUGHTER
0:10:54 > 0:10:57- You know they're not real hedgehogs? - You didn't go to my party.
0:10:57 > 0:11:02- Er...- My snake would love your hedgehog.- Oh, no!
0:11:02 > 0:11:04No!
0:11:04 > 0:11:08- LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE - What?
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Come on.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13That's the best chat-up line I've ever heard!
0:11:13 > 0:11:18As a euphemism, "snake" is good. I'm not sure "hedgehog" is that appealing.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20You've not seen it.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23"I'll just take that bit of cheese and onion off..."
0:11:23 > 0:11:25There'd never be any of that left!
0:11:25 > 0:11:27LAUGHTER
0:11:27 > 0:11:31- Do you have a name for your snake? - Well...
0:11:31 > 0:11:32Sorry!
0:11:32 > 0:11:35It's rather personal, but... We had Boa Derek.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39- Oh, nice!- Nice. - We had Julius Squeezer.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43- And we had Eva Marie Snake.- You ran out of ideas there, didn't you? - Yeah, we did.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48And Alice, you're in the UK to find some...freaks, I've heard?
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Yeah. We come back on Halloween.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55I don't think that London celebrates Halloween enough.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58And it's the most fun holiday of the year.
0:11:58 > 0:12:04We'll be doing shows at Ally Pally, and I auditioned Fireaxe this year.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06- You know, freaky Fireaxe.- OK.
0:12:06 > 0:12:12You wouldn't believe how many strange people there are in London. Well, I guess I would now.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14- Have you got room for one more? - Yeah. Absolutely.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18I'm happy to audition for the freak section. Not the fire one.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20I know your show's pretty gruesome.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22- This might shock you, even for you, OK?- Yeah.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Just close your eyes. It is pretty gruesome.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30BANGING
0:12:38 > 0:12:41- That's good!- I did that, I did that, look.- Very good.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43APPLAUSE
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Am I in?
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Now, you're not just doing your Freak auditions, are you?
0:12:50 > 0:12:53- You're actually here to... - Doing a film right now.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56- With Johnny Depp.- With Johnny Depp, and, er...- What's that film?
0:12:56 > 0:13:00- It's called Dark Shadows.- As opposed to what other type?- Well, this...
0:13:00 > 0:13:02You have to remember... You didn't get this over here.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05This was like Coronation Street... with vampires.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08- Ha! It sounds brilliant. - It really...
0:13:08 > 0:13:12Somehow it was a hit. In the '70s.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Tim Burton saw it and said "We've got to recreate this,
0:13:15 > 0:13:17"and only Johnny Depp can play this," you know?
0:13:17 > 0:13:21- And what part do you play?- I don't know. Really don't know yet.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Shooting it Friday. I guess...
0:13:23 > 0:13:26- They'll tell me, I guess, by then. - To be honest with you,
0:13:26 > 0:13:29I don't know what I'm doing on this show, I wouldn't worry about it.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31- Can I ask about Johnny Depp?- Yeah.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34What does he smell of? LAUGHTER
0:13:34 > 0:13:37Fame. He smells of fame... No, he's the nicest guy.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39We should have said cheese and onion.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43He's the nicest guy you've ever met.
0:13:43 > 0:13:47The bizarrest fact about you is that you were Keanu Reeves's babysitter.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51- Yes.- What did HE smell of? LAUGHTER
0:13:51 > 0:13:55- When was this?- Er, 1978. '76. - So you were totally Alice Cooper.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58Oh, yeah, I was Alice. I was wearing make-up and...
0:13:58 > 0:14:02I'd love to have seen that conversation - "We need someone to look after the baby."
0:14:02 > 0:14:06"Have you tried Ozzy Osbourne and Charlie Manson?"
0:14:07 > 0:14:09"Alice Cooper, of course!"
0:14:09 > 0:14:13Right. Alice and Sarah, it's not just me asking the questions.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15We asked our audience if they wanted to ask you anything,
0:14:15 > 0:14:19- and Benedict Maher, where are you, Benedict?- Here! - What's your question?
0:14:19 > 0:14:23What's the oddest thing you've ever done in a hotel room?
0:14:23 > 0:14:25You're talking to her, right?
0:14:25 > 0:14:28- Alice, I guess you've got nothing on this.- No, no, no. It's all about her.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30The oddest thing in a hotel room.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34I was in a hotel room once and we wanted a bath and there was only a shower,
0:14:34 > 0:14:37and I rang downstairs and said, "Can I get a room that's got a bath?"
0:14:37 > 0:14:40and they said "There are no baths in the building."
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Shitty hotel.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45So I put...
0:14:45 > 0:14:47I don't know why I'm telling you this!
0:14:47 > 0:14:51I put a glass over the plug hole in the shower,
0:14:51 > 0:14:54and just sat in it and waited for it to fill up.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:14:56 > 0:15:00That is marvellous.
0:15:00 > 0:15:04So, Alice, have you got any interesting hotel stories?
0:15:04 > 0:15:08Yeah, we had one night that was called Hell Night,
0:15:08 > 0:15:14when in Biloxi, Mississippi, where I... Well, I didn't do it,
0:15:14 > 0:15:19but one of our guys pulled back the sheets on one of this guy's beds
0:15:19 > 0:15:22and he had already gone to the bathroom,
0:15:22 > 0:15:25and he just kind of wrote his name - "Joe"...
0:15:25 > 0:15:28AUDIENCE GASP
0:15:28 > 0:15:31..and then made the bed...
0:15:31 > 0:15:34and knowing this guy would come in drunk that night, he'd get in...
0:15:34 > 0:15:37- get in bed like that. - That's disgusting.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41That was a true story.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Did you go, "Quick, quick, wash the sheets in the bath."
0:15:44 > 0:15:48And someone said, "There isn't a bath, put a cup on the thing, it'll be fine."
0:15:48 > 0:15:50"I can't, Sarah's in there."
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Now, tonight we've got a true stand-up legend.
0:15:55 > 0:15:59All the way from Las Vegas, currently appearing at the Leicester Square Theatre,
0:15:59 > 0:16:02please welcome the amazing Rita Rudner.
0:16:03 > 0:16:04# Get up, stand up
0:16:04 > 0:16:08# Stand up for your rights. #
0:16:08 > 0:16:10APPLAUSE
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Thank you, thank you so much.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14It's very nice to be here.
0:16:14 > 0:16:18I feel so at home in England, even though I'm not English,
0:16:18 > 0:16:23because I have to tell you why - I've been married to an Englishman for 23 years.
0:16:23 > 0:16:24APPLAUSE
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Yes, it is...it's a long time.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30The other day, I asked my husband if he wanted to renew our vows.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33He got so excited cos he thought they had expired.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36LAUGHTER
0:16:36 > 0:16:40My mother gave me some very good advice about staying married a long time.
0:16:40 > 0:16:44She said you must accept the other person for who they are
0:16:44 > 0:16:46and pretend they're someone else.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50They've been married for ever. They've passed their gold and silver anniversaries.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Their next one is rust.
0:16:52 > 0:16:56I myself, I love being married because it's so great to find
0:16:56 > 0:17:01that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
0:17:01 > 0:17:05And since we've been married for 23 years, let me tell you,
0:17:05 > 0:17:07I'm getting on his nerves quite a bit.
0:17:07 > 0:17:12At least three times a day, he turns to an imaginary judge and says,
0:17:12 > 0:17:15"And that's why I killed her, Your Honour."
0:17:15 > 0:17:18LAUGHTER
0:17:18 > 0:17:20He says I use his razor to shave my legs,
0:17:20 > 0:17:22and I don't, I use it to shave the dog.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28Women, I think we say we're wrong more than men, don't you think?
0:17:28 > 0:17:31I say I'm wrong all the time. You know why? Cos I don't care.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33I'll say it now. You want to hear?
0:17:33 > 0:17:36I'm sorry, I was wrong. I'm sorry, I was wrong.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38I can say it all day, it makes no difference to me.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41I know I'm right.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44Cos, men, you don't listen, and women listen too hard.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47We hear things you're not even saying.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50"You look tired." "Are you saying I look fat?"
0:17:50 > 0:17:55I think women are more self-sufficient than men. Don't you think?
0:17:55 > 0:17:57If a woman's thirsty, she gets a drink.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59If a man is thirsty, he says, "I'm thirsty."
0:17:59 > 0:18:01LAUGHTER
0:18:01 > 0:18:03And he waits for something to appear.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07I think men and women react differently to situations.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10If a woman sees a mess, she cleans it up.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12If a man sees a mess, he announces it.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16"Rita, the dog just threw up at the top of the stairs."
0:18:16 > 0:18:21"OK, I'll be there in a second. Try not to do anything about it."
0:18:22 > 0:18:25We have pillow fights - not throwing pillows at each other.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28We fight about why there are so many pillows on the bed.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31And why he's not allowed to put his head on any of them.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37But I've explained it to him. I've told him they're decorative pillows,
0:18:37 > 0:18:40not pillows for sleeping, but pillows for show.
0:18:40 > 0:18:45And he said, "Yes, Rita, but we are the only two people who go into the bedroom.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48"Who do we do the little pillow show for?"
0:18:48 > 0:18:50And I have to be honest with you,
0:18:50 > 0:18:53I don't really know.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56I only know that I love my pillows.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59And I have to do the show.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02I know I've been telling you all about our arguments,
0:19:02 > 0:19:03but we do get along so well.
0:19:03 > 0:19:08We are so close we don't even have to talk any more because we know what the other person is thinking.
0:19:08 > 0:19:13Sometimes I'll be lying in bed and he'll roll over and whisper in my ear, "You're wrong."
0:19:13 > 0:19:15LAUGHTER
0:19:15 > 0:19:19And I don't care because I know I'm right.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22And sometimes he'll be lying there and I'll whisper in his ear,
0:19:22 > 0:19:26"Pick up your head, that's a decorative pillow."
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Thank you so much for having me here.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32CHEERING
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Ladies and gentleman, Rita Rudner.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:19:39 > 0:19:43As usual, I want to cast someone in the audience to star in our trailer for next week.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46There are many ways to get noticed and climb the greasy pole of fame.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49One way is talent, another is beauty.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52Or you could do what I did and bribe your way to the top.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Yes, it's time for...
0:19:55 > 0:19:57# Give it away, give it away Give it away now
0:19:57 > 0:20:00# Give it away, give it away Give it away now. #
0:20:02 > 0:20:07We asked everyone in our audience to bring in one item they think they can bribe Sarah or Alice with
0:20:07 > 0:20:11to guarantee themselves a place on our sofa at the end of the show.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14First, we've got Adelina Miller. Where are you, Adelina?
0:20:14 > 0:20:16- Hello!- Hello.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20- What have you got to offer? - I have made a giant cupcake
0:20:20 > 0:20:22because I know Sarah likes cake.
0:20:22 > 0:20:27- Aw!- And it's got a special chicken on top for Alice to bite the head off.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29That is sweet, that is nice.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35Well played.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38You like a cake, though, don't you?
0:20:38 > 0:20:40- Yeah.- You're obsessed with cakes, I know this.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43- I'm not obsessed.- Obsessed enough to have taken photographs of cakes.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47I do take photos... Well, they go so quickly - really quickly.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51Um...so I take a photo...
0:20:51 > 0:20:56- Before you eat them?- Yeah, or it's just an empty, licked-clean plate.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00- Alice, are you a cake man?- No. I'm thinking about the chicken though.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Is it a marshmallow chicken?
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Do you want it to be?
0:21:05 > 0:21:09- LAUGHTER - Why are you turning this into some sort of Babestation?
0:21:09 > 0:21:12This chicken can be anything you want it to be.
0:21:12 > 0:21:16But it's not live. Do you eat them live?
0:21:16 > 0:21:20No, I don't... It's not live, it's not worth it, really.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23- To be fair, you've never actually eaten a live animal, have you?- No.
0:21:23 > 0:21:28In the beginning of my career, they said don't deny it because they love the fact
0:21:28 > 0:21:32that you killed this chicken. I never killed a chicken. The audience killed the chicken.
0:21:32 > 0:21:36In fact, the first three rows, all in wheelchairs, killed the chicken.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Meals on wheels.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Yes, that's it, that's it.
0:21:40 > 0:21:44LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:21:44 > 0:21:47OK, Gavin Molloy, what have you got to offer?
0:21:47 > 0:21:51My bribe to Sarah and Alice is to have a game of golf with me
0:21:51 > 0:21:56using my special club which I believe was owned by Harry Vardon a mashie niblick,
0:21:56 > 0:21:59- which I'm sure Alice is familiar with.- Oh, yeah.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01- Are you aware of the mashie niblet? - Oh, absolutely.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03- Niblet?- You can't eat that.
0:22:03 > 0:22:08- Who did the club belong to? - Harry Vardon, one of the greatest British golfers ever.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11So great that no-one in this room has heard of him.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14I have heard of him. The Vardon Trophy.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17- The Vardon Grip.- Yes, and the Vardon Grip.
0:22:17 > 0:22:18What's the Vardon Grip?
0:22:18 > 0:22:22- The Vardon Grip is an overlaid grip. - Show me.
0:22:22 > 0:22:27Can we borrow the club to demonstrate the Vardon Grip? Can you bring it down?
0:22:29 > 0:22:33- OK, demonstrate the grip for me, Alice. Are you a good teacher.- Yes.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36- OK, your left hand... - I've got a left hand, yes.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40Hold it like this - Harry Vardon Grip.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42- It's like that.- Right.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Right there, that's... That's a very good club.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Go ahead, try it. Don't hurt yourself.
0:22:47 > 0:22:48No, no, no. OK.
0:22:48 > 0:22:52- Am I supposed to grip this with firm pressure?- No. Left hand firm.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55- Right hand like you're holding a bird.- Which bird?
0:22:55 > 0:22:57LAUGHTER
0:22:57 > 0:22:58Posh Spice.
0:22:58 > 0:23:02- So...like that? - LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:23:03 > 0:23:05That's pretty good.
0:23:05 > 0:23:09- Do you play golf?- I've had a couple of rounds,
0:23:09 > 0:23:12but you've played a round with Tiger Woods... I'll re-phrase that.
0:23:12 > 0:23:16But you've played a round with Tiger Woods.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19I've hit golf balls with Tiger Woods.
0:23:19 > 0:23:24Just to keep it even, would you demonstrate how to eat a cake, Sarah?
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Yeah.
0:23:26 > 0:23:31- Shall I go and...- I genuinely was only joking, but you're going,
0:23:31 > 0:23:33"No way, I'm having a bit of cake."
0:23:33 > 0:23:35But you've had a go with the bat.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37The bat?!
0:23:37 > 0:23:38It's not a bat.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42- I'm having some icing.- Oh, I can't stop her, she wants some cake.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46You can taste it, Millican, you can taste it.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Bloody hell!
0:23:49 > 0:23:51I think she's made it with lead.
0:23:51 > 0:23:55D'you know what? I've been genuinely told upstairs,
0:23:55 > 0:23:59"Can you tell her we don't know this woman very well, don't eat it."
0:24:00 > 0:24:03- Am I allowed to smell it? - You can smell it, yeah.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05I'll have a taste.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Aw!
0:24:12 > 0:24:13He's bit its head off.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Finally it's true.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21- Finally you have bitten a chicken's head off.- There.
0:24:21 > 0:24:26So, Alice and Sarah, what's it going to be - Adelina's cupcake
0:24:26 > 0:24:30- or Gavin's golf club?- Do we have to decide it together?
0:24:30 > 0:24:34Well, yes. You don't have to get married, but you get one prize.
0:24:34 > 0:24:39I would say, since we both tasted the cake...
0:24:39 > 0:24:42- It was good, wasn't it?- Yeah, and she may have the antidote.
0:24:46 > 0:24:51Ladies and gentlemen, promoting next week's show is Adelina with her cupcake.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:24:55 > 0:24:59It's that point in the evening when I say the words, "Do you want to come back to my place?"
0:24:59 > 0:25:02- AUDIENCE: No! - It was rhetorical.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14PHONE RINGS
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Lee Mack's All-Star Cast. Oh, hello, Beyonce!
0:25:19 > 0:25:22Yeah, loved you at Glastonbury last week. Had a great time.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25Apart from overflowing loos, empty beer cans and smell of wee.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28But that's the problem with watching it at home. Bye.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30KNOCK AT DOOR
0:25:31 > 0:25:34It's TV's Patsy Kensit.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40First things first - can you sign my poster?
0:25:40 > 0:25:45- I was in Lethal Weapon 2.- I know. I want you to sign Mel Gibson's name.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48People on eBay can recognise my handwriting.
0:25:48 > 0:25:53So, my agent said you wanted to have a chat about me possibly
0:25:53 > 0:25:56- coming on your show.- Absolutely.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59- If you can find a way of returning the favour.- What do you mean?
0:25:59 > 0:26:03You scratch my back, I'll scratch your front...back! The thing is,
0:26:03 > 0:26:08- I don't want to do comedy much longer.- That's a relief! I mean shock.
0:26:08 > 0:26:12I've always wanted to be an actor in a medical drama. I thought you could help me.
0:26:12 > 0:26:13How can I help you?
0:26:13 > 0:26:15You're in one. You played Emma.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18- What?- You played Emma Dale in Holby Farm.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21I played Faye Morton.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24And Holby isn't a farm, it's a city.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26These urban developers are ruining the countryside.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Sorry, soap's not my strong point.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Yeah, I noticed that.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32KNOCK AT DOOR
0:26:35 > 0:26:37It's my beloved landlady, Miss Drent.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:45 > 0:26:48- Have you been crying?- Yeah, I had a horrible nightmare
0:26:48 > 0:26:54that I was a huge international rock star and they made me wear women's clothes just to get a cheap laugh.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57- Pay the rent!- All right.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Don't bite my head off.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02- I mean really, don't bite my head off.- You got one week.
0:27:02 > 0:27:06Have you been talking to the head of BBC?
0:27:08 > 0:27:11APPLAUSE
0:27:12 > 0:27:17Come on, Patsy, I reckon my face will be perfect for a hospital drama.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19It would work better on hospital radio.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22I know, let's improvise a scene now.
0:27:22 > 0:27:26Right, I'll be the patient, which means you are...
0:27:26 > 0:27:28- The vet?- ..the nurse.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Go on, play along.
0:27:30 > 0:27:36OK, let's say you've been brought to the hospital with a broken bone.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39- Funny bone?- Why not go with a bone that you actually use?
0:27:39 > 0:27:42Pretend you've broken your coccyx.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Has that got a bone in it?
0:27:46 > 0:27:48It's round the other side.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51It's definitely broken if it's round the other side.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53Think of your motivation.
0:27:53 > 0:28:00Imagine a fish biting your finger and then chucking it in a bag.
0:28:00 > 0:28:01As if that would happen!
0:28:01 > 0:28:06But OK, no problem. Check this out for acting.
0:28:09 > 0:28:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:11 > 0:28:14- It's true, you know.- Yeah, right(!)
0:28:16 > 0:28:19I've not been feeling myself recently.
0:28:19 > 0:28:25Oh, come on, Patsy, it'll be perfect for me - getting paid to lie in bed all day with the occasional bed bath
0:28:25 > 0:28:27and I can still claim incapacity benefit.
0:28:27 > 0:28:31I think you're getting reality mixed up with fiction.
0:28:31 > 0:28:36No, I'm not. But whilst you're here, can you have a look at this?
0:28:36 > 0:28:37I'm not a real nurse.
0:28:37 > 0:28:40That's all right, I'm not a real patient.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42Is that what this is all about?
0:28:42 > 0:28:47Getting me round here so that we can play doctors and nurses?
0:28:47 > 0:28:51Course not. I was thinking more mummies and daddies.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54You know what? You are sick!
0:28:54 > 0:28:56See? I told you I was convincing.
0:28:56 > 0:28:58Right, Kensit!
0:28:58 > 0:29:04Back away from the bloke with the bad hair and the dodgy skin and the body odour.
0:29:04 > 0:29:08- I wish people would stop improvising.- What the hell...
0:29:08 > 0:29:10is going on?
0:29:10 > 0:29:15Sorry, just really wanted a part in Lethal Weapon 5.
0:29:19 > 0:29:24No doors were harmed in the making of that sketch, but a choir member may have lost the will to live.
0:29:24 > 0:29:28Right, let's meet the final members of tonight's cast.
0:29:28 > 0:29:30Yes, it's time for...
0:29:30 > 0:29:35# When will I, will I be famous
0:29:35 > 0:29:41# For 15 seconds? #
0:29:45 > 0:29:46Marvellous.
0:29:46 > 0:29:50Yes, 15 seconds of fame, and first up, she's back.
0:29:50 > 0:29:54It's our reigning champion, Anna Devitt. Hello, Anna, are you there?
0:29:54 > 0:29:57- Hi, Lee, I'm here.- Has it been a good week for you?
0:29:57 > 0:30:02- It has, actually. I got recognised on Saturday.- Did you?
0:30:02 > 0:30:06- Where?- A car-boot sale.- Well, it's going from strength to strength!
0:30:07 > 0:30:12- What did they say to you?- "Are you the singing belly off the telly?"
0:30:12 > 0:30:14LAUGHTER
0:30:14 > 0:30:16- What did you say?- "Yes, I am!"
0:30:16 > 0:30:20I'll tell you what, it's a hell of an anecdote.
0:30:20 > 0:30:22And...wow.
0:30:22 > 0:30:27Anna Devitt, once again, it's time for your 15 seconds of fame.
0:30:30 > 0:30:32# Somethin' kinda ooh
0:30:32 > 0:30:34# Jumpin' on my toot-toot
0:30:34 > 0:30:36# Somethin' 'side of me
0:30:36 > 0:30:38# Wants some part of you-oo
0:30:38 > 0:30:40# Somethin' kind ooh
0:30:40 > 0:30:42# Makes my heart go boom, boom
0:30:42 > 0:30:43# Somethin' 'side of me
0:30:43 > 0:30:47# Wants a part of you-oo. #
0:30:47 > 0:30:48KLAXON
0:30:48 > 0:30:54- APPLAUSE - Have you ever thought of singing out of any other holes
0:30:54 > 0:30:56and forming a barber-shop quartet?
0:30:56 > 0:31:00Ladies and gentlemen, Anna Devitt!
0:31:03 > 0:31:07- Our next contender, it's Graham Cowling. Are you there, Graham? - I am.
0:31:07 > 0:31:10Where are you calling from tonight?
0:31:10 > 0:31:12- I'm calling from my front room.- Right.
0:31:12 > 0:31:15It could have been a train station!
0:31:15 > 0:31:19I'm trying to work out if that clock is normal size,
0:31:19 > 0:31:20or you're a Borrower.
0:31:21 > 0:31:25So tell me, what are you going to do for us?
0:31:25 > 0:31:29- I am the human klaxon. - You're a human klaxon?
0:31:29 > 0:31:32OK, at the end of the 15 seconds, we usually have a klaxon.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35Why don't we just get rid of the klaxon and you can be the klaxon
0:31:35 > 0:31:39- at the end of the 15 seconds?- Yeah.- OK.
0:31:39 > 0:31:42Not sure what you'll do in the 15 seconds but we'll go with that.
0:31:42 > 0:31:47Here we go. Graham Cowling, this is your 15 seconds of fame.
0:31:47 > 0:31:48Here we go, then.
0:31:48 > 0:31:51One banana, two banana...
0:31:55 > 0:31:57There isn't a second hand on that clock.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59I don't know why he's looking at it.
0:31:59 > 0:32:01HE IMITATES KLAXON
0:32:01 > 0:32:04- APPLAUSE - That's quite good!
0:32:04 > 0:32:07I'm impressed with that. I like that. Well done, Graham.
0:32:09 > 0:32:12Can he do a bike-horn noise?
0:32:12 > 0:32:16- Sarah's got a question for you. - Can you do a bike-horn noise?
0:32:16 > 0:32:19A bike-horn noise? What's that?
0:32:19 > 0:32:21LAUGHTER
0:32:21 > 0:32:25- Like a..."Ah-ha". Like that. - That's nice. That's nice.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28- Ah-ha!- It's like going out for a drink with the Muppets with you two!
0:32:28 > 0:32:31We could form a double-act!
0:32:31 > 0:32:33OK. Have we got Jordan?
0:32:33 > 0:32:38Hello. The angle of this is looking a bit suspect.
0:32:38 > 0:32:42Where you calling us from? Prison?
0:32:42 > 0:32:44LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH
0:32:44 > 0:32:45Sorry, say it again.
0:32:45 > 0:32:48- It's like a prison. - Right, where are you?
0:32:48 > 0:32:49I'm in Wales.
0:32:49 > 0:32:51LAUGHTER
0:32:51 > 0:32:55- Before anyone complains, HE said it.- I- didn't!
0:32:55 > 0:32:57Jordan, what are you doing for us tonight?
0:32:57 > 0:33:03- Er... I'm in a band called The Rookz. - OK, band called The Rookz. Yeah.
0:33:03 > 0:33:05I've Got A Monster In My Pants.
0:33:05 > 0:33:09- You've got a monster in your pants? - I have.- That's the name of the song?
0:33:09 > 0:33:12- That is the name of the song.- Right.
0:33:12 > 0:33:15What could possibly go wrong? You look half-naked.
0:33:15 > 0:33:19You're telling me you've got a monster in your pants.
0:33:19 > 0:33:21This is your 15 seconds of fame.
0:33:21 > 0:33:22Okey-doke.
0:33:24 > 0:33:29# I've got a monster in my pants Do you wanna dance with me? #
0:33:31 > 0:33:32LAUGHTER
0:33:32 > 0:33:34APPLAUSE
0:33:39 > 0:33:41KLAXON
0:33:41 > 0:33:43That is marvellous!
0:33:44 > 0:33:46Do you know what?
0:33:46 > 0:33:48McFly have let themselves go.
0:33:50 > 0:33:53Hello, lads! I say "lads" - with those man boobs, it's hard to tell!
0:33:53 > 0:33:58Are you actually a band or just friends who can't afford clothes?
0:33:58 > 0:34:02- We ARE a serious band... - No, you're not! You're not!
0:34:02 > 0:34:07Let me stop you there. You're not a serious band! Do you do professional gigs?
0:34:07 > 0:34:12We do professional gigs. We've done gigs for The Saturdays.
0:34:12 > 0:34:17You've done gigs for The Saturdays? Have you done gigs ON Saturday?
0:34:17 > 0:34:21- Yeah?- We've done gigs on Saturday, Friday, Sunday, Monday.
0:34:21 > 0:34:22Every day. Weekly.
0:34:22 > 0:34:25It's like talking to Craig David over the Internet!
0:34:25 > 0:34:29Listen. Thanks, guys. That was very different, I think you'll agree.
0:34:29 > 0:34:32- That was Jordan and The Rookz. - Thank you.
0:34:34 > 0:34:37- I like them.- I like them, too. - I like them. A lot!
0:34:37 > 0:34:42OK, Alice and Sarah, who do you want to crown as this week's Famous For 15 Seconds winner?
0:34:42 > 0:34:44- What do you think? - I still like the cup cake.
0:34:44 > 0:34:46Stay with the cup cake.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48It's like being out with your granddad, isn't it!
0:34:48 > 0:34:52- I like the boys in their pants but maybe for the wrong reasons!- Right.
0:34:52 > 0:34:57- You like the boys in their pants. OK.- I'd go with that.- You'll go with the boys in their pants?- Yeah.
0:34:57 > 0:35:02Ladies and gentlemen, our winner of 15 Seconds Of Fame. Congratulations, The Rookz! You are the champions!
0:35:06 > 0:35:10Lads, how does it feel - firstly that you'll be back next week
0:35:10 > 0:35:12but, more importantly, you were chosen by Sarah Millican
0:35:12 > 0:35:15- and rock legend Alice Cooper? - Oh, we're over the moon.
0:35:15 > 0:35:18Don't mention the word "moon" in those pants!
0:35:18 > 0:35:19LAUGHTER
0:35:19 > 0:35:21Are you available next week?
0:35:21 > 0:35:25- Yeah, probably.- A minute ago, you were busy every day!
0:35:25 > 0:35:27Monday, Tuesday. Can you make next week?
0:35:27 > 0:35:30- WELSH ACCENT:- Oh, aye, we can do that! Any time you like!
0:35:30 > 0:35:31Brilliant! Let's hear it for The Rookz.
0:35:35 > 0:35:38If you want to be in Famous For 15 Seconds
0:35:38 > 0:35:42and take part in All Star Cast next week, go to...
0:35:42 > 0:35:46That's all we've got time for tonight. Big thanks to all the members of my cast.
0:35:46 > 0:35:49- Alice Cooper! Sarah Millican! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:35:49 > 0:35:51Rita Rudner!
0:35:51 > 0:35:52Patsy Kensit!
0:35:52 > 0:35:55And of course, Mandy!
0:35:55 > 0:35:57And our wonderful studio audience.
0:35:57 > 0:36:01Playing us out with Kinda Girl You Are, give it up for the Kaiser Chiefs!
0:36:01 > 0:36:03CHEERING
0:36:05 > 0:36:07# I only wanna see the
0:36:08 > 0:36:12# I only wanna see the kinda girl you are
0:36:12 > 0:36:13# I only wanna see the
0:36:14 > 0:36:17# I only wanna see the kinda girl you are
0:36:18 > 0:36:19# I only wanna see the
0:36:20 > 0:36:23# I only wanna see the kinda girl you are
0:36:23 > 0:36:25# I only wanna see the
0:36:26 > 0:36:29# I only wanna see the kinda girl you are
0:36:35 > 0:36:37# I first heard you on the radio
0:36:37 > 0:36:38# I felt my heart explode
0:36:38 > 0:36:41# I heard a voice, no other choice I fell in love with you
0:36:41 > 0:36:44# Through St Bartholomew To Baxter Avenue
0:36:44 > 0:36:46# No-one can do what you do, oh
0:36:46 > 0:36:50# I thought you were American Oh, oh, oh
0:36:50 > 0:36:56# I loved you, American Oh, oh, oh
0:36:58 > 0:37:00# I only wanna see the
0:37:01 > 0:37:03# I only wanna see the kinda girl you are
0:37:03 > 0:37:05# I only wanna see the
0:37:07 > 0:37:09# I only wanna see the kinda girl you are
0:37:09 > 0:37:11# Then I saw you in the centre-fold
0:37:11 > 0:37:13# But you were looking cold
0:37:13 > 0:37:16# In just an awfully-positioned piece of mistletoe
0:37:16 > 0:37:19# Mentally dressing you I wanna rescue you
0:37:19 > 0:37:21# To make you mine, oh Mine, oh, yeah
0:37:21 > 0:37:24# I thought you were a miracle Oh, oh, oh
0:37:27 > 0:37:31# I thought you were a miracle Oh, oh, oh
0:37:31 > 0:37:32# Hey!
0:37:55 > 0:37:59# I thought you were incredible Oh, oh, oh
0:38:01 > 0:38:05# I thought you were incredible Oh, oh, oh
0:38:07 > 0:38:08# I only wanna see the
0:38:10 > 0:38:12# I only wanna see the kinda girl you are
0:38:12 > 0:38:14# I only wanna see the
0:38:15 > 0:38:18# I only wanna see the kinda girl you are
0:38:18 > 0:38:20# I only wanna see the
0:38:21 > 0:38:24# I only wanna see the kinda girl you are
0:38:24 > 0:38:26# I only wanna see the
0:38:27 > 0:38:29# I only wanna see the kinda girl you are. #
0:38:37 > 0:38:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:38:39 > 0:38:42Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:38:42 > 0:38:46On next week's show, Katie Price, Rhod Gilbert and Scouting For Girls.
0:38:46 > 0:38:49As ever, I'll be making stars of the audience - for a price!
0:38:49 > 0:38:53I gave Alice Cooper a marzipan chicken and now he's my friend!
0:38:53 > 0:38:55I'm so sorry, Alice.
0:38:55 > 0:38:57LAUGHTER
0:38:57 > 0:38:58E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk