0:00:01 > 0:00:03You be all right on your own tonight, yeah?
0:00:03 > 0:00:05Yeah!
0:00:08 > 0:00:13If there's any trouble, don't call the Old Bill - everything in the flat's stolen.
0:00:13 > 0:00:21This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Lee Nelson's Well Good Show. Quality!
0:00:44 > 0:00:47APPLAUSE
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Hello, hello, hello!
0:00:50 > 0:00:54Yeah. Yeah, you're nice!
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Hello, my man. Look at that.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59There's my man.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01Yes, yes, yes. Spread some love.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Spread some love. Spread some love.
0:01:03 > 0:01:08Yeah. What is that, my man? Look at that. Hello, hello.
0:01:08 > 0:01:14Hello. Welcome to Lee Nelson's Well Good Show, I'm Lee Nelson!
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Yeah!
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Joining me on my show tonight...
0:01:19 > 0:01:23He's overweight, he's my best mate, it's Omelette?
0:01:23 > 0:01:26CHEERING
0:01:26 > 0:01:29My Nan is going to be doing some singing.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31CHEERING
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Yeah, hello, Nan.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36And at the end of the night I'll be going home...with her.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41It's Lee Nelson's Well Good Show. Quality!
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Yeah!
0:01:48 > 0:01:55People, people, people, I am in the mood of my life, let me tell you that for nothing.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58I've been with my missus two years today.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00CHEERING
0:02:00 > 0:02:06Yes, I still remember seeing her for that first time at the club, just looking at her there, thinking,
0:02:06 > 0:02:12"Fucking hell...
0:02:12 > 0:02:15you'll do!"
0:02:17 > 0:02:23This morning I wake her up with the biggest bunch of flowers because we've been together for two years.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27I get her flowers all the time. Girls, you like the flowers?
0:02:27 > 0:02:29- AUDIENCE: Yes! - Yeah, my missus loves them.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32I get them for her all the time, man.
0:02:32 > 0:02:37I'm well lucky in that, I live right next to an accident black spot.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42The messages can freak her out, but fuck it.
0:02:42 > 0:02:47I got well lucky this morning, message - "I never got the chance to say I love you."
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Yes!
0:02:49 > 0:02:54And it come with a free teddy. Result man, result.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Because it's hard. It is well hard being in a relationship.
0:02:57 > 0:03:03Boys, back me up on this, you know at first you think the girl's perfect. They can't do no wrong.
0:03:03 > 0:03:07Then after like, six, seven minutes...
0:03:07 > 0:03:10you just want to get out the cubicle, innit?
0:03:13 > 0:03:17It's difficult, relationships and that, innit?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Who is been with who?
0:03:19 > 0:03:23Is you with him, my man? No, you got plans, though ain't you, geezer?
0:03:25 > 0:03:28You've thought about it. Ain't you? Yes.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30I have.
0:03:31 > 0:03:38- Hey, sweetheart, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?- No.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42Neither do I, but it broke the ice.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51Omelette, do you know any good chat up lines.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Yeah, how do you like your eggs in the morning, fried or scrambled?
0:03:56 > 0:04:04Omelette, you fat legend, that ain't a chat up line, that is just what your mum says to you, you legend.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Brilliant.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Who is together? You two look like...yeah!
0:04:09 > 0:04:13Look at that. And you let him come out in that fucking check shirt?
0:04:14 > 0:04:17- How long have you been with him, sweetheart?- Ten years.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Ten years? That is a long time and where did you meet each other?
0:04:20 > 0:04:23At college.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25At college, look at that. You paedo!
0:04:29 > 0:04:31So ten years, that is a long time.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33How you keep things fresh?
0:04:33 > 0:04:38- What do you do for her, my man? What do you do?- Well, I can't comment.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41You can't comment, cos it's fuck all, isn't it?
0:04:41 > 0:04:44I tell you it is hard to keep a girl happy, don't you think?
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Girls are well hard to please. Like, my missus came home the other day.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50She's in a nice dress. You know what I'm talking about, boys?
0:04:50 > 0:04:52A nice, tight dress.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56She comes into my room. She's like, "Do I look well fat in this?"
0:04:56 > 0:04:59And I says, "No, not at all, man.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02"You look fat in everything."
0:05:02 > 0:05:06To keep them happy all the time, you have to do things for her.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09I cooked my missus the nicest meal the other day.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12She says it is one of the best meals she has had in ages.
0:05:12 > 0:05:16I'll let you into a secret, boys - I never cooked it, I bought it.
0:05:16 > 0:05:21Yes, she had no idea, man, just sat in the back of the car
0:05:21 > 0:05:23eating her nuggets.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28And I kept the toy - win, win!
0:05:30 > 0:05:32You got to make an effort, my man.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35And you got to make an effort for him. It can't just be one way.
0:05:35 > 0:05:40What my missus done, she got one of them Oriental tats done just above her bum there.
0:05:40 > 0:05:44Makes shagging her from behind a little more fun, if you know what I mean.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47It's a little Sudoku board.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52What the fuck are you doing in here with a waistcoat?
0:05:52 > 0:05:56Off! Off! Off! Off! Off! Off! Off! Off!
0:06:03 > 0:06:04Never again.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10Oh, man, what's going on with you? You are a single man, ain't you?
0:06:13 > 0:06:15It's been a while, ain't it?
0:06:15 > 0:06:18When was the last time you got your dipper wet, my man?
0:06:19 > 0:06:22- I can't even remember. - You can't even remember!
0:06:22 > 0:06:27Fucking hell, you must have the biggest balls in the world.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29- Shall we make this man's night? - AUDIENCE: Yes!
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Let's make this man's night, people.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35OK, this is your lucky day, because you are going to play
0:06:35 > 0:06:39Taken From Behind!
0:06:39 > 0:06:41CHEERING
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Taken From Behind!
0:06:45 > 0:06:49Right, my man, I'm going to give you the chance
0:06:49 > 0:06:56to have five minutes in the disabled toilet with a superfit bird, my man.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59I've seen her, she's proper, proper lush, I'd definitely do her.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02I know your standards are incredibly low, you will do anything.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06All you've got to do is pick her out at the bar.
0:07:06 > 0:07:12By the way, you've had six pints, two whisky chasers and a cheeky line.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Omelette, give us the beer goggles.
0:07:15 > 0:07:19My man, whack these on. Yeah!
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Yes, you are proper, proper pissed.
0:07:22 > 0:07:27Quality! Let's go to the bar. Yeah!
0:07:27 > 0:07:29You stand here, my man.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33OK, look at that - there's four of them waiting for you.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36You've just got to pick one. It's tricky, isn't it?
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Audience, what do you think? Shout them out.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41AUDIENCE SHOUTS NUMBERS
0:07:41 > 0:07:46What do you think? I tell you, do you want to phone a friend?
0:07:46 > 0:07:47Yeah? You want to phone a friend?
0:07:47 > 0:07:51He's seen it's your number and he's fucking ignored it!
0:07:52 > 0:07:54He wears a waistcoat!
0:07:57 > 0:07:58My man, but...
0:07:58 > 0:08:03the mate ignored your number, because he was buying a round of tequila slammers at the bar.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Let's whack these down.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07You are even more fucked.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11My man, the bar is closing.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Who are you going to pick?
0:08:13 > 0:08:16- Number three. - He's gone with number three.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18APPLAUSE
0:08:18 > 0:08:23My man, you've just had your wallet nicked, you've sobered up.
0:08:23 > 0:08:28Let's see what you could have won. No 1, please turn round.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33You missed him!
0:08:33 > 0:08:38My name is Nick and from behind I look like a bird.
0:08:38 > 0:08:39From the front, it's up for grabs.
0:08:43 > 0:08:48Yes. That takes me right back to Bangkok 2007.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51OK. You still happy with number three?
0:08:53 > 0:08:56You're shitting it, aren't you?
0:08:56 > 0:09:01He wears a waistcoat! Number two, please turn around.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05Oh! Well done to avoid that.
0:09:08 > 0:09:15My name is Janet. I'm 78 and I'm just happy to be alive!
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Thank you Janet. Good work, my man.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23It's looking all right.
0:09:23 > 0:09:27Mind you, if you had chosen her, at least you wouldn't have had to wear a johnny.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Between three and four.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36Here is what you could have won. Number four, please turn round.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40Oh no! Oh no!
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Man, no.
0:09:44 > 0:09:49I'm Cat. I'm the absolute stunner, you plonker and I would have been well up for it!
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Oh, my God!
0:09:54 > 0:09:55Goodbye.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59She was a proper slag.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Here's what you've won.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Number three, please turn round!
0:10:15 > 0:10:18AUDIENCE: Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Off you go to the disabled toilet!
0:10:30 > 0:10:34Oh, my gosh, that beard is going to chafe!
0:10:35 > 0:10:41Well, he's clearly a mug with the birds, but here is one man who don't have no problems in that department.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45It's my favourite Premier League footballer, give it up for Jason Bent!
0:10:45 > 0:10:48APPLAUSE
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Jason Bent is one of the Premier League's brightest talents,
0:10:54 > 0:10:58and we've been given 110% access to his life.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04This is 110% Bent.
0:11:06 > 0:11:11Having just moved clubs for £30.65 million, and with the
0:11:11 > 0:11:17world's media gathered, it's time for Jason to finally face the press.
0:11:21 > 0:11:26The Times. Jason, what persuaded you to move from a club in the top four to one tipped for relegation?
0:11:28 > 0:11:29One word...
0:11:31 > 0:11:33..new challenge.
0:11:33 > 0:11:39I know people have said I was disloyal, leaving my last club at half-time.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42Jason Bent is committed to this football club now.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45I want to finish my career here, and I'm not just saying that now.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48I've said that at every club I've played for.
0:11:48 > 0:11:53The Mirror. Jason, how did you find training at your new club for the first time today?
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Yeah, no problem at all.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59I've got a Sat Nav.
0:12:01 > 0:12:05The Telegraph. Jason, do the new Chinese owners have much knowledge of the English game?
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Yeah, I've met with the new Chinese owners.
0:12:08 > 0:12:13It was fantastic to finally meet Chairman Mao.
0:12:13 > 0:12:17They knew about the Premier League. He's told all the lads
0:12:17 > 0:12:21he grew up watching English football, he loves English football.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25He said, he'll do whatever it takes to make sure this club wins the Superbowl.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28talkSPORT.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31How do you think the move will affect your England career?
0:12:31 > 0:12:36I wouldn't have come here without passing it by the England gaffer first.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39I actually phoned him late last night to ask him what he thought.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41To be fair, he was very open, very honest.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45He just said to me, "Who the fuck gave you my home number?"
0:12:45 > 0:12:47And we left it there.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50'Next week, Jason's in the papers again...'
0:12:50 > 0:12:51I'd no idea!
0:12:51 > 0:12:55'..but this time, for all the wrong reasons.'
0:12:55 > 0:12:57I swear she said she was 15!
0:12:57 > 0:13:00'That's all on 110% bent.'
0:13:04 > 0:13:05Jason Bent!
0:13:05 > 0:13:09Who have we got in the house tonight, by the way?
0:13:09 > 0:13:13Have we got Londoners? Make some noise!
0:13:13 > 0:13:15CHEERING
0:13:15 > 0:13:18Loads of Londoners. Have we got anyone from outside the UK?
0:13:18 > 0:13:19CHEERING
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Quality. Whereabouts are you from, my man?
0:13:21 > 0:13:26- Chicago.- Chicago, look at that geezer! An American in the house.
0:13:26 > 0:13:31Let us know you're here. You can't hold it in, even when you try to.
0:13:31 > 0:13:35- It's coming out. - Woo! Give us a woo.- Woo!
0:13:35 > 0:13:39I love that! You've got to be a legend. You're hysterical about everything.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Woo!
0:13:41 > 0:13:43"Our leader's black, woo!
0:13:43 > 0:13:46"Our leader is black! Woo!"
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Ours was Brown. We don't bang on about it.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Who else have we got in the house tonight? Two people up there.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56My man, whereabouts are you from?
0:13:56 > 0:13:58- Sydney. - Sydney, look at that. I know Sydney.
0:13:58 > 0:14:03Let's go and say hello to my Sydney man. Yes!
0:14:03 > 0:14:05I love the different cultures and shit.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09That, in England, in your hair, is considered a disgrace.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14So many of you've even got nicknames for each other.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17- You call us Poms, don't you?- Yeah.
0:14:17 > 0:14:18We call you racists.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23I love the Aussies, man.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26I love all the foreigners. Hello, sweetheart, you look very confused.
0:14:26 > 0:14:30- You don't speak English? Whereabouts are you from, sweetheart?- Romania.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33Romania, look at that. No wonder you're shaken up.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35You all right, sweetheart?
0:14:35 > 0:14:38How long did it take you to come here from Romania?
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Just a few hours.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42A few hours, fucking hell.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44Just clinging on to that lorry.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51Welcome. Grab some food, you've done well hiding in here. Clever.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Whereabouts are you from, babe?
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Heaven?
0:14:58 > 0:15:00What the fuck are you looking at?!
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Look at you, with these fucking guns here. Look at that!
0:15:05 > 0:15:08Actually, he's just fat...
0:15:10 > 0:15:12Let me see. That's proper, that.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15- Give us a punch. Go on, stand up.- Are you serious?
0:15:15 > 0:15:18I'm serious, I'm serious. Come on, everyone! Do it! Do it!
0:15:18 > 0:15:21AUDIENCE: Do it! Do it! Do it!
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Just smack him right there.
0:15:29 > 0:15:34Who else? Have we got other foreign people over here? Three at the front, look at that.
0:15:34 > 0:15:38- Whereabouts you from?- Germany. - Germany! I'm so happy, man.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41I thought you was a fucking miserable Londoner.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43He's actually a very happy German.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Look at that, man, oh my gosh.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52Sorry to take the piss, geez, but you started it.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Yes!
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Who else have we got? Where you from, geez, at the back?
0:16:03 > 0:16:05- Zimbabwe. - Zimbabwe! Whereabouts is that?
0:16:05 > 0:16:08- Africa.- Africa?- Yeah.
0:16:10 > 0:16:16Look at him! You are not African.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20- I am.- If you are, you're ill.
0:16:23 > 0:16:28Oh man. Welcome everyone, man. In London, I think we welcome all the foreigners, proper, you know.
0:16:28 > 0:16:32There's only one day every year when we don't, one day a year we let
0:16:32 > 0:16:35all the frustrations out on the foreigners in London.
0:16:35 > 0:16:39You know what I'm talking about, Londoners, innit? They close down all the roads
0:16:39 > 0:16:44in the centre of London, and thousands and thousands of people
0:16:44 > 0:16:49chase after these five Kenyans.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02And quite a few people in wheelchairs. It's horrible.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07OK, listen. Everyone is welcome on my show, man.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09That's 100% true.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Enough of me, yeah?
0:17:11 > 0:17:12Who here likes old people?
0:17:12 > 0:17:14CHEERING
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Who here likes fun stuff?
0:17:16 > 0:17:17CHEERING
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Well, you're going to love this.
0:17:19 > 0:17:23It's time for Old People Do Fun Stuff!
0:17:26 > 0:17:29Old People Do Fun Stuff!
0:17:29 > 0:17:33This week on Old People Do Fun Stuff, it's Anne.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35- Hello, Anne.- Hello.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38What are you going to do for us on this week's Old People Do Fun Stuff?
0:17:38 > 0:17:42- I'm going to gurn for you. - She's going to do some gurning!
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Quality!
0:17:47 > 0:17:48Over to you.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Yes!
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Yes!
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Yes! Give it up for Anne!
0:18:21 > 0:18:25Quality, quality, quality. Look at that, man.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28It's funny cos she's old.
0:18:29 > 0:18:34Well, with a face like that, there's only one man she should visit.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37So go mental for Dr Bob!
0:18:37 > 0:18:39APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Well, hello there, viewers!
0:18:51 > 0:18:53Welcome to Hospital Live
0:18:53 > 0:18:57with me, Dr Bob.
0:18:57 > 0:18:58Coming up on today's show...
0:18:58 > 0:19:03'Will Mrs Maloney finally wake from her coma?'
0:19:03 > 0:19:06Mrs Maloney!
0:19:07 > 0:19:11'And I'll be performing my first ever laser eye surgery.'
0:19:15 > 0:19:18That's coming up on Hospital live.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23Fantastic.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Hospitals are often sad places to be.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30There are some patients who can really brighten up the day.
0:19:30 > 0:19:35Mr Thomas here has what's known in layman's terms as "man boobs",
0:19:35 > 0:19:40or to give it its proper medical name, "moobs".
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Hello, Mr Thomas.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Can we see your tits?
0:19:46 > 0:19:48Great!
0:19:48 > 0:19:54Obviously, it's a very distressing condition for Mr Thomas
0:19:54 > 0:19:58and this afternoon, he's having an operation to remove them.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02So, for one last time, may I?
0:20:06 > 0:20:09What a waste.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16How do you tell your partner you've got chlamydia?
0:20:18 > 0:20:22The good news is, it's symptomless, so you don't have to.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24Keep it up, chaps!
0:20:27 > 0:20:34Welcome to the most popular part of the show, breaking bad news.
0:20:34 > 0:20:40I'm about to tell Mrs Dowdeswell her test results, and it's not good.
0:20:40 > 0:20:47At times like these, I find using an analogy can help the patient cope.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Hello, Mrs Dowdeswell.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54How are you getting on today, dear?
0:20:54 > 0:20:57Well, doctor, I've been having a bit of a problem...
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Good.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03Well, we've got your test results back.
0:21:04 > 0:21:09Thank you for bringing your car into the garage.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12Shall we have a look at the engine?
0:21:13 > 0:21:18Oh, bloody hell, it's riddled with tumours.
0:21:23 > 0:21:28Well, just like Mrs Dowdeswell, we've run out of time.
0:21:28 > 0:21:33I'll be back next week with a contagious diseases special.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35I'll catch you then. Bye-bye!
0:21:42 > 0:21:45Omelette, do you know what it's time for?
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Pudding?
0:21:48 > 0:21:49No, mate, couldn't be more wrong.
0:21:49 > 0:21:53It's time for Omelette's Peer Pressure Challenge!
0:21:56 > 0:21:59Omelette's Peer Pressure Challenge!
0:22:00 > 0:22:02OK, here's how it works.
0:22:02 > 0:22:06All of us in here is going to make my best mate, Omelette,
0:22:06 > 0:22:11do something that he well don't want to do at the end of the show, by pressuring him into it.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Funny.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18Omelette, right, on this wheel are three things.
0:22:18 > 0:22:24You have to do one of them. Do you fancy having your chest waxed?
0:22:26 > 0:22:28No, not really.
0:22:28 > 0:22:33Are you up for dancing in front of everyone in just your pants?
0:22:36 > 0:22:37No, I don't fancy that.
0:22:39 > 0:22:44How's about getting tied up and spanked by a bird with a whip?
0:22:47 > 0:22:48No, thanks.
0:22:48 > 0:22:53Well, you're going to have to, mate, because it's Omelette's Peer Pressure Challenge.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Spin that wheel!
0:23:00 > 0:23:01Wooh...
0:23:07 > 0:23:10CHEERING
0:23:10 > 0:23:14Omelette, are you going to get tied up and spanked by a bird with a whip?
0:23:14 > 0:23:16No, I'm not.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21Do it! Do it! Do it!
0:23:21 > 0:23:26AUDIENCE: Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
0:23:27 > 0:23:31- Are you going to do it, now? - Yeah, all right.
0:23:31 > 0:23:32Hooray!
0:23:34 > 0:23:36You go get ready, my man. Quality.
0:23:36 > 0:23:41Now it's time for my favourite show on the telly at the moment.
0:23:41 > 0:23:47It's dirty, it's messy, it's out of control. It's Faliraki Nights!
0:23:50 > 0:23:57Every year, thousands of young holidaymakers go to Faliraki for fun, sun, sea, and a whole lot more.
0:23:57 > 0:24:02Three-times rep of the year Chris Young give these partygoers the holiday of their lives.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06What's the secret of my success? You're about to find out.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10This is Faliraki Nights.
0:24:10 > 0:24:11I see my job starting as soon
0:24:11 > 0:24:13as I pick up the group from the airport.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17I get them on their coach and I explain how the week is going to work
0:24:17 > 0:24:19and a little bit about what to expect.
0:24:19 > 0:24:23Hello, everyone, my name is Chris. Welcome to Faliraki!
0:24:24 > 0:24:26Let's get fucked up!
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Fucking brilliant!
0:24:30 > 0:24:33When we arrive, we'll go straight to dinner.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36I can see someone's eating theirs already.
0:24:38 > 0:24:39Fucking suck it!
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Let's get fucked!
0:24:48 > 0:24:51I think it's so important as a rep to build up a good group spirit,
0:24:51 > 0:24:55and to get to know your group and get them to know each other.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58My name's Annie and I love sucking cock!
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Who wants some fun?
0:25:07 > 0:25:10I actually like to get the coach driver involved as well.
0:25:10 > 0:25:14Wanker! Wanker! Wanker! Wanker! Wanker!
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Chris is amazing!
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Best fucking rep ever!
0:25:23 > 0:25:27People say to me, "Chris, why do you think you're such a good rep?"
0:25:27 > 0:25:29Simple. It's the games I play.
0:25:29 > 0:25:3110-shot challenge!
0:25:41 > 0:25:45My favourite Chris game? It's got to be the doggie game!
0:25:45 > 0:25:48Let's play doggie!
0:25:48 > 0:25:55Come on lads! Come on, fuck her! Fuck her! Yeah!
0:25:55 > 0:25:59- Oh, it's got to be the pint of chunder.- Down that chunder!
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Chunder! Chunder! Chunder!
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Ice cream surprise is the best. It's fucking ace.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13You've just eaten some of my shit!
0:26:15 > 0:26:18My favourite has got to be fuck a virgin!
0:26:22 > 0:26:26They're going to fuck him!
0:26:26 > 0:26:29My favourite game, got to be the legend that is
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Chris Young's race against time.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34Get sucking!
0:26:36 > 0:26:39Keep sucking! Yes!
0:26:39 > 0:26:45Suck it! Suck it! Suck it! Suck it!
0:26:45 > 0:26:47BLOWS WHISTLE
0:26:47 > 0:26:52Stop the cock, three minutes 28 seconds!
0:26:52 > 0:26:55We have a winner!
0:27:04 > 0:27:08That, people, is all we've got time for. Oh, no!
0:27:08 > 0:27:11I've got to get back home to my little boy.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14We're in a middle of a game of hide and seek.
0:27:14 > 0:27:19There's just one more thing to come. Come on down, Nan.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Yes, it's my nan singing!
0:27:24 > 0:27:28Sweetheart, time to come back to my place.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Do it! Do it!
0:27:30 > 0:27:31AUDIENCE: Do it! Do it!
0:27:31 > 0:27:36Nan, it's all yours. Who are you going to be tonight, Nan?
0:27:36 > 0:27:38Lee, tonight I'm going to be MC Hammer.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41Hooray!
0:27:41 > 0:27:43Take it away, Nan.
0:27:43 > 0:27:44# U can't touch this
0:27:45 > 0:27:46# U can't touch this
0:27:49 > 0:27:52# Can't touch this
0:27:53 > 0:27:58# My, my music hits me so hard Makes me say, oh, Lord
0:27:58 > 0:28:00# Thank you for blessing me
0:28:00 > 0:28:03# With a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet
0:28:03 > 0:28:05# It feels good when you know you're down
0:28:05 > 0:28:09# A superdope homeboy from the Oaktown
0:28:09 > 0:28:10# And I'm known as such
0:28:10 > 0:28:13# And this is a beat you can't touch
0:28:13 > 0:28:15# I told you, homeboy Can't touch this
0:28:18 > 0:28:22# Yeah, that's how we livin' And you know U can't touch this
0:28:22 > 0:28:26# Look in my eyes, man Can't touch this
0:28:26 > 0:28:29# Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics... #