0:00:02 > 0:00:05You'll be all right on your own tonight, yeah? Yeah.
0:00:08 > 0:00:12And remember, when your nan comes round, it's £20 for an eighth.
0:00:12 > 0:00:16Make sure you get the money up front this time, yeah?
0:00:16 > 0:00:23This programme contains some strong language
0:00:30 > 0:00:31# Bring it back
0:00:31 > 0:00:32# Get back, get back...
0:00:34 > 0:00:37# One step, two step two step, one step. #
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Lee Nelson's Well Good Show.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Quality-y-y-y!
0:00:43 > 0:00:46APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:00:49 > 0:00:54Yea-a-ah! All right, all right, all right, all right - look at his hat!
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Yes, ain't that the loveliest? Yes. You're nice.
0:00:56 > 0:01:01Yes. My man! Hello, get rid of that cardigan.
0:01:01 > 0:01:05Another cardigan. All right, geezer, I'm loving it!
0:01:05 > 0:01:08Spread the love, spread the love, spread the love. Ye-e-ah!
0:01:08 > 0:01:14Look at your jacket. Yes. Scary, scary, scary, loving it.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17Sweetheart, you're nice. Yes. Hello, hello, hello!
0:01:21 > 0:01:26Welcome to Lee Nelson's Well Good Show, I'm Lee Nelson!
0:01:26 > 0:01:28CHEERING
0:01:28 > 0:01:33Coming up on my show tonight, he ain't never been on a date
0:01:33 > 0:01:36but he's my best mate - it's Omelette!
0:01:36 > 0:01:37CHEERING
0:01:40 > 0:01:45Yes. My nan's going to be doing some rapping. Yes. Hi, Nan.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48And we'll all be laughing at that man's ponytail. Yes.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51LAUGHTER
0:01:52 > 0:01:56This is Lee Nelson's Well Good Show. Quality-y-y! Yes.
0:02:00 > 0:02:05People, let me tell you this for nothing - I am in the mood of my life, I've got myself a job!
0:02:05 > 0:02:07CHEERING
0:02:07 > 0:02:11Yes. I never wanted it, but I got it, because I go down
0:02:11 > 0:02:15job centre every month, right, and I talk my way out of the job,
0:02:15 > 0:02:17right, it's proper clever.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20This month I go down there, I'm talking to the bird,
0:02:20 > 0:02:25I'm telling her I don't want a job, I ain't interested in work,
0:02:25 > 0:02:28I'd be shit at work, I hate work, I won't turn up,
0:02:28 > 0:02:31I'm lazy, I will nick shit.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34She's typing it all in her computer.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38She looks at the screen and says you just got yourself a job as a postman.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41LAUGHTER
0:02:41 > 0:02:45Cos I don't get like all the good, proper jobs and that, cos
0:02:45 > 0:02:49I've got that dyslexia thing, which is a proper thing, man.
0:02:49 > 0:02:50I have to use that Google thing.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54You know that Google thing? Whatever you type into Google, however you
0:02:54 > 0:02:57spell it, you press enter, and Google says, "Do you mean...?" and
0:02:57 > 0:03:02and spells it for you, innit? Yes, I do mean Google, you legend.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Brilliant, innit? Don't rely on that shit though.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09Other day, I'm typing my stuff into Google, press enter, Google says,
0:03:09 > 0:03:13"Do you mean Lebanese fighting?"
0:03:14 > 0:03:16No, Google,
0:03:16 > 0:03:19I mean "lesbian fisting".
0:03:19 > 0:03:21LAUGHTER
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Dyslexia, it's a thing though, it's quite a common thing.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29I bet you other people have got dyslexia. Anyone got dyslexia here?
0:03:29 > 0:03:31- Yeah.- Have you, geez? Have you? Have you?
0:03:31 > 0:03:36- Yeah.- Cos I was joking. You've got dyslexia!
0:03:36 > 0:03:37You fucking idiot.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41No, good work, my man, good work.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43It's all right innit, eh? It ain't hold you back and that.
0:03:43 > 0:03:47I see you've got well enough money to buy some shit hair products.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Look at that, look at that, I've got to have a feel of this, my man.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Fucking brilliant. Check that. Look at that.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56Look at...Fucking that. Whereabouts are you from, geez?
0:03:56 > 0:04:021982? Let me just go get you a soda stream.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05No, brilliant - everyone's welcome. Everyone's welcome.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Have you got a job, geez? What do you get up to?
0:04:07 > 0:04:10- I'm a psychotherapist. - You're a psychotherapist!
0:04:10 > 0:04:14Fucking legend, look at that! Love that, my man.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16OK, what am I thinking?
0:04:18 > 0:04:22I'll give you a clue, it involves them three birds there.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Yes, innit, geez? You're quality, man.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27- Whereabouts are you from, geez? - St Louis, Missouri, United States.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30Good for you, geez. People take the piss out of the Americans, innit?
0:04:30 > 0:04:33I like the Americans - my uncle's American, so, yeah.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37Well, he's English, but he is fucking fat.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39LAUGHTER
0:04:40 > 0:04:44The thing is, I was never that good and clever at school, do you know what I mean?
0:04:44 > 0:04:49I worked and that, but I hated school, man. They were the worst three days of my life.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54That's the thing - I might not be proper, proper clever,
0:04:54 > 0:04:57but I know how to handle myself with the birds, innit? Yeah.
0:04:57 > 0:05:01- Oi, what's your name, sweetheart? Is it Laura L?- No.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Because you're worth it. Yeah?
0:05:04 > 0:05:08Fucking do it, innit, boys? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Oi, sweetheart, what's your name? Is it Jacob?
0:05:11 > 0:05:12Cos you're a cracker.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Yeah, that's worth a hand job, innit?
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Sweetheart, what's your name? Is it Gilette?
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Cos you're the best a man can get.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28And you've got a little bit here.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Anyone do anything like naughty and that at school?
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Anyone do anything naughty? Geezer over here.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40You've never done anything naughty in your life, have you, geez?
0:05:40 > 0:05:45What's that, geez? I feel a little bit bad for actually talking to you, geezer.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Are you getting this, man?
0:05:47 > 0:05:51Look at that. Would you feel a lot more comfortable if I pretended we
0:05:51 > 0:05:54were having a conversation online? Send.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:06:01 > 0:06:02Look at that.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04You ever done anything naughty at school, geez?
0:06:04 > 0:06:06(HEAVY ACCENT) I've burnt a barn.
0:06:06 > 0:06:07LAUGHTER
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Did he just call me a dick?
0:06:11 > 0:06:15- What did you say, what's that? - I burnt a barn.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Fuck me.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19- Where are you from?- Poland.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23Poland. You fucking legend. Welcome, geez. We love the Polish, innit?
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Yeah! Polish, innit?
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Brilliant, geez. Millions of you over here...
0:06:28 > 0:06:33- Yeah.- I don't know what happened over there, if the fire alarm went off or...
0:06:33 > 0:06:35"Run for it, everybody run!"
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Bring your tools just in case.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:06:42 > 0:06:47Love it. What did you get up to in Poland, what happened?
0:06:49 > 0:06:51(HEAVY ACCENT) I've burnt a barn.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Oh, does anyone speak Europe?
0:06:53 > 0:06:56LAUGHTER
0:06:56 > 0:06:57Anyone?
0:06:57 > 0:07:00Never mind, we'll get the psychotherapist involved.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03Come up here, come up here, have a little hear of what he said.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Look at that.
0:07:06 > 0:07:10OK, talk to him, he has the eyes and the earrings.
0:07:10 > 0:07:11I've burnt a barn.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15- You bent a bond?- Barn. B-A-R-N.
0:07:16 > 0:07:17He's bent a barn.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20You bent a barn. He's bent a barn.
0:07:20 > 0:07:21LAUGHTER
0:07:21 > 0:07:26- He's bent a barn.- Burnt. Burnt. - Burnt. He's burnt a barn!
0:07:26 > 0:07:27He's burnt a barn.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31- He's burnt a barn.- And we've been wasting fucking time talking.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34We need to call the fire brigade!
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Look at that, he burnt a barn. Well done, geez. Look at that.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Legend!
0:07:42 > 0:07:46I got expelled. I got expelled from so many places, man.
0:07:46 > 0:07:51I did, I used to start so many fights at my school, and I
0:07:51 > 0:07:56had that attention deficit thing so I never even finished a lot of them.
0:07:58 > 0:08:04I ain't like sort of you, geezer, clever man with the glasses and the wrong clothes and...
0:08:04 > 0:08:09It's OK, man, we're just different sorts of people, innit? Clever and
0:08:09 > 0:08:11non-clever. Nothing wrong with that.
0:08:11 > 0:08:15You know, you're not getting fucked off your box every night of the week, you're a half-pint
0:08:15 > 0:08:20man, innit? And that's probably only cos he likes fractions.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22My man, you clever as well?
0:08:22 > 0:08:26Yes, don't deny it, you look very, very uncomfortable in yourself.
0:08:26 > 0:08:31Who is cleverer do you reckon, my man? Who is...
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Shall we have a brains off and find out?
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Yes!
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Brains off, brains off, brains off, brains off,
0:08:38 > 0:08:40brains off!
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Brains off!
0:08:44 > 0:08:47All right, here's how it works.
0:08:47 > 0:08:52There's two well tough rounds of sheer mental endurance.
0:08:52 > 0:08:57Whoever wins out will be crowned Prince Legend Brains. Yes.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03And win this prize.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11- Good luck. OK, my man, what's your name?- Josh.- Josh.
0:09:11 > 0:09:15- My man, what's your name?- Ben.- OK.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Round two.
0:09:18 > 0:09:19LAUGHTER
0:09:21 > 0:09:25Get out your pen and paper, it is a maths test.
0:09:25 > 0:09:30You can try this at home if you ain't got a fucking life.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34Calculate this, here we go, boys.
0:09:34 > 0:09:40You've got £15 in your pocket, it's a Monday night and you fancy
0:09:40 > 0:09:44you'll go home for a quiet drink with a bird...who you met online.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46LAUGHTER
0:09:46 > 0:09:49You go to a bar, it's 50p to get in.
0:09:49 > 0:09:55You need a piss, so you go to the toilets, where you give the toilet attendant £1.20
0:09:55 > 0:10:00for a chewing gum and 30p for a spray of Davidoff.
0:10:00 > 0:10:05He thanks you and as he turns around to serve another customer,
0:10:05 > 0:10:10you manage to thief 50p and a lolly off his tray.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16You go to the bar and buy yourself one pint of Kroney for £3.20 -
0:10:16 > 0:10:17it's a nice bar.
0:10:17 > 0:10:23The barmaid is blessed with a winning smile and a quality pair of tits.
0:10:23 > 0:10:27You give her a tip of 10p.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31You neck your pint and are getting some nice looks from the barmaid.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35You gamble, head to the gents and buy a three pack of johnnies,
0:10:35 > 0:10:40fruit flavour - you had no other option - for £4.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43You're still waiting for your online friend to turn up,
0:10:43 > 0:10:48so to pass the time, you fork out £2 on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire machine.
0:10:48 > 0:10:52Result - because you wear glasses and are proper clever you win the jackpot.
0:10:52 > 0:10:57£9.50 rolls out of the machine in 10p's.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03Your internet date finally turns up, she's an absolute munter.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08You say you're feeling sick and you head straight home.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11An illegal taxi driver offers you a lift home.
0:11:11 > 0:11:16He wants to charge you a tenner, you get him down to £4.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20Nevertheless, you are tempted to do a runner
0:11:20 > 0:11:23until he tells you about his pregnant wife
0:11:23 > 0:11:26and three children who are stuck in a refugee camp in Eritrea.
0:11:26 > 0:11:31You hear his story and decide to give him what he asked for in the first place,
0:11:31 > 0:11:36though he doesn't seem that pleased when you give £9.50 of it in 10p's.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41You get home, you think of the barmaid, head upstairs,
0:11:41 > 0:11:44get out the johnnies, and have a posh wank.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47How much have you got left?
0:11:47 > 0:11:51Wo-o-o-o-ow.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55My man, what you got?
0:11:55 > 0:12:00- £3.70.- £3.70. Let's see your workings.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Good man. My man, number two, what have you got?
0:12:07 > 0:12:09I've got 20p.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11Hold up your workings, my man.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14He actually did two pages!
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Omelette, what have you got?
0:12:20 > 0:12:22What a legend.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25OK, the answer is...
0:12:25 > 0:12:27DRUMROLL
0:12:29 > 0:12:31It's £3.70!
0:12:31 > 0:12:33APPLAUSE
0:12:33 > 0:12:35Yes, you legend!
0:12:37 > 0:12:40You are this week's Crown Prince Legend Brains!
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Here's your prize. Whack them on and no, keep them on as well.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Double glasses. Let's go mental.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:12:50 > 0:12:55Yes. Now, here's one geezer who ain't that bright,
0:12:55 > 0:12:58but he don't have to be cos he's well good at football.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02Show your love for Jason Bent!
0:13:02 > 0:13:04APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:13:06 > 0:13:10Jason Bent is one of the Premier League's brightest talents,
0:13:10 > 0:13:13and we've been given 110% access to his life.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15- Hey, Jason.- Hey, Jason.
0:13:15 > 0:13:16To your left, over here, mate.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20This is 110% Bent.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25It's been a traumatic three weeks for Jason,
0:13:25 > 0:13:27but his court case is finally over,
0:13:27 > 0:13:30and it's good news for all concerned.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32Jason, Jason. To your left!
0:13:35 > 0:13:41It's been proven in court today that I'm innocent of all ABH assault charges.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45I've said throughout I'm innocent and it's a massive relief that
0:13:45 > 0:13:47I've finally been found innocent.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51It was always me big fear that the truth would come out in court.
0:13:52 > 0:13:59I want to thank me family, me friends, and me team-mates who all stuck by the story I gave them.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03I ask the media to respect me privacy
0:14:03 > 0:14:09and I intend to make no further comment now or in the future,
0:14:09 > 0:14:12but you can read my side of the story exclusively
0:14:12 > 0:14:15in my forthcoming book, Getting Away With It.
0:14:15 > 0:14:16Thank you very much.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19What did happen that night, Jason?
0:14:19 > 0:14:23As I said in court, I went out with a few of the lads, we had a big game
0:14:23 > 0:14:24the next day so we went clubbing,
0:14:24 > 0:14:28we was enjoying a quiet drink, about eight pints,
0:14:28 > 0:14:32when unfortunately I had no choice but to strike the man in self-defence
0:14:32 > 0:14:36when, out of nowhere and totally unprovoked, he started walking
0:14:36 > 0:14:42away from me, shouting, "I don't want no trouble, please, please, I don't want no trouble."
0:14:42 > 0:14:45Unfortunately, his mates got involved
0:14:45 > 0:14:49and started giving it the old, "For God's sake, stop it, he's 67."
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Do you feel you had the full support of the club?
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Yeah, the club's been magnificent.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58In fact, I want to thank everyone at Ministry of Sound.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01Do you think your case ended up in court because you are a celebrity?
0:15:01 > 0:15:05Yeah, 100%, yeah. I was arrested because I'm a footballer,
0:15:05 > 0:15:07we know it's all a joke to be honest, Hugh.
0:15:07 > 0:15:11I mean, the bloke who took me to court wasn't even the one I proper battered.
0:15:11 > 0:15:16Jason, are you embarrassed about the YouTube clip that's emerged of you with a girl in a hotel room?
0:15:16 > 0:15:21Yeah, it's been extremely embarrassing, not just for me, but for me family to see that.
0:15:21 > 0:15:26I can assure you, as I've assured them, I normally last a lot longer.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32And what about the allegations that have followed? Did she agree to have sex with you?
0:15:32 > 0:15:35Yes, she did. I can't remember if she asked all six of us, but...
0:15:35 > 0:15:38So it was consensual sex then?
0:15:38 > 0:15:40Absolutely not. Nothing dirty like that.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43It was a straightforward spit roast.
0:15:45 > 0:15:50- Jason!- Jason!- Jason.- Jason...
0:15:50 > 0:15:52Next week, having just signed an improved contract,
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Jason's gambling addiction is spiralling out of control.
0:15:55 > 0:16:00I'll have 750 grand on Tonga to win the World Cup please.
0:16:00 > 0:16:04That's all on 110% Bent.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06APPLAUSE
0:16:10 > 0:16:13You know, I'm feeling like I've got a proper bounce in my step and that, man,
0:16:13 > 0:16:15because I've just got back from Amsterdam.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Ya-ay!
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:16:19 > 0:16:20HE INHALES
0:16:20 > 0:16:25Yeah, yeah, yeah! I spent some quality time with my little boy.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30I loved it out there, I did, I did, I did.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32I brought back a little souvenir for my missus.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35Yeah, Chlamydia.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41Oi, people, you'll love this, I joined the Mile High Club on my way back.
0:16:41 > 0:16:42- CROWD CHEERS - Yeah.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46Well, I had a wank in Terminal 2.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50We went to the Anne Frank Museum.
0:16:50 > 0:16:54Man, that made me realise just how stupid the Germans is.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58Me and the boys were stoned off our fucking heads, weren't we, Omelette?
0:16:58 > 0:17:01- Yeah, we were, yeah.- Yeah, yeah, yeah, we was proper stoned.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04We managed to find Anne Frank's house in about 20 minutes.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08There's signs for it all over the place.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12I think people are against drugs and that, but in Amsterdam
0:17:12 > 0:17:15they are proper relaxed about it innit, and I like that, you know?
0:17:15 > 0:17:21I don't think drugs are that bad. You know, without drugs I never would have got my job selling drugs.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27I flew with my six-year-old lad and it's a nightmare, man,
0:17:27 > 0:17:31cos on Ryanair yeah, he wanted to choose his seat, but you can't, innit,
0:17:31 > 0:17:35everyone just piles on the plane and from the moment we get on he's like,
0:17:35 > 0:17:39"I want to sit on the window seat," "It's already taken."
0:17:39 > 0:17:42"I want to sit on the window seat." "It's already taken."
0:17:42 > 0:17:45He says, "Window seat, window seat." "It's already taken."
0:17:45 > 0:17:48"Window seat." "It's taken." I snapped.
0:17:48 > 0:17:53I shouldn't have, we was on a plane, and I just went, "Oh, for fuck's sake man,
0:17:53 > 0:17:58"how many times do I have to remind you, I bagsied the window seat?"
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Grow up.
0:18:02 > 0:18:06APPLAUSE
0:18:06 > 0:18:10Quality. Right, who here likes old people?
0:18:10 > 0:18:12- CROWD:- Yeah.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15- Who likes fun stuff?- Yes!- Yes.
0:18:15 > 0:18:20Well, you're going to love this, it's time for Old People Do Fun Stuff.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22CHEERING
0:18:24 > 0:18:27Old People Do Fun Stuff.
0:18:27 > 0:18:31This week on Old People Do Fun Stuff it's Antonio.
0:18:31 > 0:18:37Hello, Antonio, what are you going to do for us on this week's Old People Do Fun Stuff?
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Well, Lee, I'm going to pop my eyeballs out of my head.
0:18:39 > 0:18:40- CROWD:- Oooh!
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Fucking brilliant. Over to you.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52CROWD SCREAMS
0:18:56 > 0:18:57Yeah.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Legend.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16He's funny because he's old.
0:19:17 > 0:19:25Now with eyes like that there's only one man he should visit, so go mental for Dr Bob.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27CHEERING
0:19:38 > 0:19:45Hello there, viewers, and welcome to Hospital Life with me, Dr Bob.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Coming up on today's show:
0:19:48 > 0:19:51After four years of intensive rehab
0:19:51 > 0:19:54we'll be seeing if Mr Peters can finally walk again.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57Go, son. Go on, son.
0:20:00 > 0:20:04And I finally manage to find my glasses.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Ah. Shit.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12That's all coming up on Hospital Life.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16Naughty Henry.
0:20:16 > 0:20:22Just about any problem can come through the doors of accident and emergency,
0:20:22 > 0:20:25and the first challenge is to establish what the problem is.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Hello, Mr Stevens.
0:20:27 > 0:20:32Just reading through your notes here and understand you fell over at work today
0:20:32 > 0:20:35and have got a bit of shoulder pain.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Hmm. Well, I'll be honest with you, I'm not too sure what the problem is
0:20:39 > 0:20:41at this stage.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Good.
0:20:47 > 0:20:54An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but what about a plum?
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Nothing.
0:21:00 > 0:21:05Welcome to your favourite and my favourite part of the show,
0:21:05 > 0:21:07breaking bad news.
0:21:07 > 0:21:14Well, I always find it so helpful for the patient if I try not to make too much of a fuss of the bad news
0:21:14 > 0:21:17and instead make it part of their every day.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Hello, Mrs Miller,
0:21:22 > 0:21:24how are you doing today, dear?
0:21:24 > 0:21:29- Well, Doctor, I've been having a bit of pain here...- Good.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32Well, it's been a nice, mild day today hasn't it?
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Yes, it's been a nice few days really.
0:21:35 > 0:21:40It's always nice to have a bit of nice weather, don't you think? Yes.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42You've got hepatitis C.
0:21:44 > 0:21:45Well done.
0:21:47 > 0:21:51Well, unlike Mrs Miller, I'll be back next week
0:21:51 > 0:21:57with an Alzheimer's special, so don't forget to tune in then. Goodbye!
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Yes. Yes. Hello, Omelette.
0:22:04 > 0:22:05Do you know what it's time for?
0:22:05 > 0:22:12- My weekly bath? - No, babe, it's time for Omelette's Peer Pressure Challenge.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18Omelette's Peer Pressure Challenge.
0:22:18 > 0:22:25Omelette, on this wheel there are three things, and at the end of the show you have to do one of them.
0:22:25 > 0:22:32Now, do you fancy being covered in cream and having a dog lick it off?
0:22:32 > 0:22:33- CROWD:- Woo.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35No, not really.
0:22:36 > 0:22:41How do you fancy having your eyebrows shaved off?
0:22:41 > 0:22:43- CROWD:- Woo!
0:22:43 > 0:22:45No, thanks.
0:22:45 > 0:22:49Would you like to eat a toenail sandwich?
0:22:49 > 0:22:52- CROWD:- Woo!
0:22:52 > 0:22:55No, I don't want to do that.
0:22:55 > 0:23:01Well, you're going to have to do one of them because it's Omelette's Peer Pressure Challenge. Spin the wheel.
0:23:02 > 0:23:08Wo-o-o-oah!
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Yes!
0:23:14 > 0:23:18Omelette, are you going to have a dog lick cream off your body?
0:23:18 > 0:23:20No, I'm not.
0:23:22 > 0:23:27- CROWD:- Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it...
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Omelette, are you going to do it now?
0:23:31 > 0:23:38- Yeah, all right.- Yes! We peer pressured him into it.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41Off you go and get ready, my man. Yes.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43CHEERING
0:23:43 > 0:23:46Now if you was into political shit
0:23:46 > 0:23:52then you'll probably have found of this next show is Buzz Box and it's Hugo Victor Grant.
0:24:00 > 0:24:06What's up, my homies? I'm Hugo Victor Grant and this is Buzz Box. Awesome!
0:24:06 > 0:24:11The show that brings global issues to the younger generation.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14This week we're talking Africa.
0:24:14 > 0:24:19Africa's my favourite country in the world, I've been there on three gap years
0:24:19 > 0:24:21and my family have got a holiday home in Rhodesia.
0:24:22 > 0:24:26When it comes to Africa, I've been there, done that, got the ivory.
0:24:26 > 0:24:31I love Africa, in fact, I love all black people.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34A lot of my best friends have black friends.
0:24:34 > 0:24:40The truth is, Africa is a stunning country, especially if you ignore the shitty bits.
0:24:40 > 0:24:46With us to discuss the issues, is Buzz Box Africa expert, Brian Longy.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Brian, hakuna matata.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59Great to have you on the show. Just how bad is Africa at the mo, bro?
0:24:59 > 0:25:05Yes, there are problems like on any continent but mostly Africa,
0:25:05 > 0:25:09both economically and politically, is feeling very positive right now.
0:25:09 > 0:25:16Wow, um sobering stuff from the African guy. Let's open this up to the studio dudes.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Guys, what could we do to help Africa?
0:25:20 > 0:25:23OK, make way, make way, make way.
0:25:23 > 0:25:24Buzz Box. Go for it.
0:25:24 > 0:25:29I think fair trade is, like, totally, like, literally, like, do you know what I mean?
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Yah, yah, yah, awesome.
0:25:33 > 0:25:38That is a great point. OK, if you don't know what fair trade is, it's basically
0:25:38 > 0:25:46a stick up, it really helps guys like Brian and his starving family, so you should always, always buy fair trade.
0:25:46 > 0:25:50Obviously not if you can provide something similar for cheaper, don't be stupid.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54PHONE RINGS We have got Ollie from Bristol Uni on the line.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Ollie, we're live on Buzz Box, what's your point?
0:25:57 > 0:26:02Hey, Africans are actually literally amazing people and stuff.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04They, like, invented writing and mathematics.
0:26:04 > 0:26:08Yeah, totalis. And they invented the safari park,
0:26:08 > 0:26:13um, red nose day, carrying things on your head.
0:26:13 > 0:26:14APPLAUSE
0:26:14 > 0:26:21Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Bro, thanks for coming on, you've been incredibly brave.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26Peace, jihad!
0:26:29 > 0:26:30Free Cuba!
0:26:31 > 0:26:33APPLAUSE
0:26:37 > 0:26:41That, people, is all we've got time for.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43- CROWD:- Aww.
0:26:43 > 0:26:48Yeah, I'm babysitting for my 13-year-old sister and her baby's a right handful.
0:26:49 > 0:26:53There's just one more thing to come, it's my nan rapping.
0:26:53 > 0:26:54APPLAUSE
0:26:54 > 0:26:57Come on down, Nan.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Yes.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02Thank you for coming, thank you for watching.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05Sweetheart, I'll see you in the toilets.
0:27:05 > 0:27:10Yes. Nan, who are you going to be tonight?
0:27:10 > 0:27:13Tonight, Lee, I'm going to be House of Pain.
0:27:13 > 0:27:17Quality. Take it away, Nan.
0:27:20 > 0:27:26Yes. Come on everyone.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28# Time to get down Time to get down
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Get down Stand around, jump around
0:27:30 > 0:27:31Yes
0:27:31 > 0:27:35# Jump around. Jump around
0:27:35 > 0:27:36Yes.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39# Jump up Jump up and get down
0:27:40 > 0:27:43# Jump, jump Jump, jump
0:27:43 > 0:27:44Everyone give it some!
0:27:44 > 0:27:51# Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump Jump, jump, pack it up, pack it in
0:27:51 > 0:27:54# Let me begin, I came to win
0:27:54 > 0:27:57# That's me, that's the scene I won't tear myself up
0:27:57 > 0:27:59# And you better back up
0:27:59 > 0:28:01# Try and play the role And the whole crew will act up
0:28:01 > 0:28:05# Get up, stand up, come on Throw your hands up...#
0:28:05 > 0:28:07Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:07 > 0:28:09E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk