0:00:02 > 0:00:04I'm off to do my telly show, gonna be all right on your own?
0:00:04 > 0:00:07- Yeah.- Yeah!
0:00:07 > 0:00:08Mwuh!
0:00:10 > 0:00:18Remember, if I ain't back before midnight, I've pulled! Legend! Later.
0:00:18 > 0:00:23This programme contains strong language.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44Lee Nelson's Well Good Show, quality!
0:00:44 > 0:00:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Yes!
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Hello, you're fit, you're nice!
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Waistcoat - that has got to go, innit?
0:00:59 > 0:01:04Jacket legend over here in the glasses, loving it, loving it.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Your jumper's ridiculous, innit?
0:01:06 > 0:01:08Loving that little goatee, yeah.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12She's nice, you're nice as well innit, yes!
0:01:14 > 0:01:19Welcome to Lee Nelson's Well Good Show, I'm Lee Nelson.
0:01:21 > 0:01:26Yes! Joining me on my show tonight, he can't touch his toes,
0:01:26 > 0:01:33but he's in all of my shows, it's my best mate, Omelette.
0:01:33 > 0:01:39Yeah. My nan's gonna be belting out a club banger. Yeah.
0:01:39 > 0:01:45Hello, Nan. And I'll be trying to confirm if that man over there,
0:01:45 > 0:01:48is a virgin.
0:01:48 > 0:01:54It's Lee Nelson's Well Good Show. Qualit-y!
0:01:56 > 0:02:01People, people, people, I am in the mood of my life,
0:02:01 > 0:02:02it's the second series!
0:02:05 > 0:02:10I have had such a fun day, I took my seven-year-old boy to the zoo.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:02:14 > 0:02:16He loved it, he was so interested in all the animals,
0:02:16 > 0:02:19he was like, "How much do elephants weigh?
0:02:19 > 0:02:22"Can monkey's talk? What do lions eat for lunch?"
0:02:22 > 0:02:29I says, "I'm sorry I just don't know. It's thirty quid to get in, just enjoy the fucking leaflet."
0:02:34 > 0:02:38Hey, hands up if you is a dad, people?
0:02:38 > 0:02:42- Dad's hands up, yeah. Seriously you is a dad?- Yeah.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46Oh, my gosh, youse has given hope to every ugly fucker in the world.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51You legend, my man, you legend.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54He done it and he looks like that? There is hope, oh, my God!
0:02:54 > 0:02:59- Thank you.- Yes, yes, yes. What is the secret that is to your success?
0:02:59 > 0:03:01I'm thinking ketamine.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Any other dads? Put your hands up, other dads.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Yeah, loads of people, what about you, geezeer?
0:03:09 > 0:03:14Love you, look at his dad outfit, isn't that fucking brilliant?
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Look at that, stand up, yeah, look at that, yes.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Come here, you legend, what's going on with you? How many kids you got?
0:03:25 > 0:03:29- Three.- Three that's nice, er, you ever seen them?
0:03:31 > 0:03:34And what, and what's their names, geeze?
0:03:34 > 0:03:37She's hand in head! What's their names, go on, you tell us!
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Tell us, tell us!
0:03:39 > 0:03:42AUDIENCE: Tell us, tell us, tell us, tell us!
0:03:42 > 0:03:45- Laura.- Laura, that's all right.
0:03:45 > 0:03:46- Laura.- Laura again.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Yeah.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52- And, and...- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I got to stop you there.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54- You said her name's Laura.- Yeah.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57And then the second kid is also called Laura.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Correct.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03I'm sorry how little imagination does this man have?
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Laura and Laura, that's mental my man, innit? How old's Laura?
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Er, 28.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13No the other Laura, you idiot.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16Just got them, I didn't know which Laura, innit?
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Fucking clever.
0:04:18 > 0:04:19Was they planned and all that?
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- Er, yeah.- Arh!
0:04:23 > 0:04:27Ver, ver, yeah. Someone meant to pull out!
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Innit, was it like that was it?
0:04:36 > 0:04:39I'll pull out, I'll pull out, I'll pull out, I'll pull out,
0:04:39 > 0:04:45and then you never cos it's all cosy in there, innit?
0:04:45 > 0:04:48I'd have done the same, my man.
0:04:48 > 0:04:53Mine was half planned, half an accident,
0:04:53 > 0:04:56like we was meant to have sex and that, but I never meant to come so quick.
0:04:56 > 0:05:01Cos every bloke thinks of something to last longer, innit?
0:05:01 > 0:05:05What about you, geezeer, you look like a nice geezeer, what do you think of?
0:05:05 > 0:05:07- Erm, Margaret Thatcher. - Margaret Thatcher.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Oh, my gosh, do you ever finish?
0:05:13 > 0:05:17Omelette, what do you think of when you're sleeping with a girl to make you last longer?
0:05:17 > 0:05:19How much it's gonna cost me!
0:05:26 > 0:05:30Yes, fat legend extraordinaire.
0:05:31 > 0:05:36I love my little boy so much, but he's a proper handful.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38He started looking at them naughty websites,
0:05:38 > 0:05:41and we's now got a password across the whole of the internet,
0:05:41 > 0:05:45and the little fucker won't tell us what it is.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Who here's got kids who cause a bit of trouble?
0:05:50 > 0:05:54- Do your kids cause a bit of trouble? That's him over there.- Yeah.
0:05:54 > 0:05:58That's it! I can see that, actually. So does he cause you any trouble?
0:05:58 > 0:06:01- Erm, yeah...Margaret Thatcher. - Margaret Thatcher!
0:06:01 > 0:06:06- Now you know about that.- 'Scuse me!
0:06:06 > 0:06:11When he was in his room shouting "Thatcher, Thatcher, Thatcher," you thought he was doing history, innit?
0:06:11 > 0:06:13He was having one of them!
0:06:20 > 0:06:24Ah, yeah! Actually...
0:06:25 > 0:06:27But listen, right, what I'm thinking is, right,
0:06:27 > 0:06:31I want to find out who the best dad here is, geeze,
0:06:31 > 0:06:35and I'm thinking you could be quite a good dad. Is you quite a good dad, geezeer?
0:06:35 > 0:06:40- Yeah.- Yeah, she's nudging, Laura's nudging, probably.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Who else is a dad over here?
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- This man here, you legend, is you a proper good dad?- Hope so.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48- Is you one of the best dads?- Yeah.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51Oi, people, I wonder who the better dads is.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Shall we find out?
0:06:53 > 0:06:54- AUDIENCE:- Yeah!
0:06:54 > 0:07:00Let's have a dad-off!
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Dad-off!
0:07:06 > 0:07:11Welcome to the WGD,
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Well Good Dad,
0:07:13 > 0:07:16world title fight!
0:07:16 > 0:07:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:07:18 > 0:07:25Let's get ready to tumble!
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Yes!
0:07:28 > 0:07:34In the red corner, weighing in at 202lbs,
0:07:34 > 0:07:41it is Graham the glasses and goatee!
0:07:44 > 0:07:47And the full head of hair!
0:07:47 > 0:07:48Go!
0:07:48 > 0:07:53THEME FROM ROCKY PLAYS
0:07:57 > 0:07:59MUSIC ABRUPTLY STOPS
0:07:59 > 0:08:01In the blue corner,
0:08:01 > 0:08:05weighing a shit-load more...
0:08:07 > 0:08:13..it's David "two Lauras!"
0:08:13 > 0:08:18YMCA PLAYS
0:08:18 > 0:08:20MUSIC ABRUPTLY STOPS
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Right, dads,
0:08:22 > 0:08:28youse is competing for the WGD Well Good Dad world title belt,
0:08:28 > 0:08:32recently stripped from disgraced former Austrian champion,
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Josef Fritzl.
0:08:36 > 0:08:37Now, round one.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Nah, nah, nah, that is wrong.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00What you doing, geezeer?
0:09:00 > 0:09:02He has got quite nice tits, to be fair.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Dads, here's the scenario.
0:09:06 > 0:09:07your kid's 11,
0:09:07 > 0:09:10and unfortunately he's managed to find
0:09:10 > 0:09:13your exceptionally large stash of porn mags.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19You'll have no choice but to give him the birds and the bees chat.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22The first dad to put the condom on the banana...
0:09:25 > 0:09:27..wins the round.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30CHEERING
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Seconds out!
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Oh, I forgot.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40You can only use your mouth!
0:09:40 > 0:09:43CHEERING
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Seconds out!
0:09:55 > 0:09:57He's started well.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59He's going for it.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02He's got the full thing!
0:10:02 > 0:10:05Yeah!
0:10:09 > 0:10:11My man, that was proper.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14That is a man who's been practicing!
0:10:16 > 0:10:17You, geezee, that is...
0:10:19 > 0:10:21- It's hard, innit?- It's hard. - It is hard,
0:10:21 > 0:10:25and you don't have someone shoving the back of you head down.
0:10:26 > 0:10:31This round goes to goatee glasses and a full head of hair!
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Round two!
0:10:40 > 0:10:45Your kid's hit puberty, and he's hating his newly sprouted chest hair.
0:10:45 > 0:10:49You've agreed that he can get his chest waxed, and as a good dad,
0:10:49 > 0:10:53to prove there's nothing to worry about, you get yours waxed first.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56CHEERING
0:11:03 > 0:11:07All right, now, the dad who gets his chest waxed
0:11:07 > 0:11:09and acts least like a pussy...
0:11:10 > 0:11:14..wins the round, OK? Or for a knockout blow
0:11:14 > 0:11:15and to win the belt,
0:11:15 > 0:11:18get your bum crack done.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20GASPING
0:11:21 > 0:11:26It's two nos, it's two nos. All right, get your shirts off, please, boys, shirts off. Here we go.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Yes, yes, yes.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30Yeah, that's quite good, innit, geeze,
0:11:30 > 0:11:33off you go. There we go, the cardigan comes off.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36CHEERING
0:11:36 > 0:11:39- AUDIENCE:- Off, off, off!
0:11:41 > 0:11:42CHEERING
0:11:42 > 0:11:46This is a nice cardigan, innit? Let me hang that up for you.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Cardigan, you muppet!
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Here we go.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59We're warming up the wax, we're warming up the wax.
0:11:59 > 0:12:00Where's your family, over there?
0:12:00 > 0:12:03- There.- She's right there, all like tense and that, innit?
0:12:03 > 0:12:04Who's with this fella?
0:12:04 > 0:12:06- Friends, yeah.- Friends.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10- His wife's going to kill me. - His wife's gonna kill you, innit?
0:12:10 > 0:12:13At the what? That you've been fucking him for two years?
0:12:13 > 0:12:17No! No!
0:12:20 > 0:12:23- No!- "I didn't want her to find out that way!"
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Here we go. AUDIENCE GASPS
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Seconds out. BELL RINGS
0:12:39 > 0:12:41AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:12:41 > 0:12:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:12:48 > 0:12:51I'm OK. I'm OK.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55More!
0:12:55 > 0:12:57"More," he said.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00Not touching your pubes.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04That was good. You got to be honest that was good, innit?
0:13:04 > 0:13:06I'm a bit worried.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11AUDIENCE GASPS
0:13:11 > 0:13:13- Not too bad.- Show some love.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21You've done really well,
0:13:21 > 0:13:24but I think you know in your hearts of hearts, don't you?
0:13:24 > 0:13:28That's a true fighter there. This round goes to...Two Lauras!
0:13:28 > 0:13:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Final round.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43Now here we go. Your kid's getting married,
0:13:43 > 0:13:49the wedding is going great and your favourite tune comes on.
0:13:49 > 0:13:54You run onto the dance floor and get dad dancing.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56CHEERING
0:14:01 > 0:14:02I can do that.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Seconds out. BELL RINGS
0:14:04 > 0:14:07# I like big butts and I cannot lie
0:14:07 > 0:14:09# You other brothers can't deny
0:14:09 > 0:14:11# When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
0:14:11 > 0:14:13# And a round thing in your face You get sprung... #
0:14:13 > 0:14:15That's good.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Oh, yes! Oh, yes!
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Oh, yes!
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Some robots, body popping.
0:14:31 > 0:14:32MUSIC STOPS
0:14:32 > 0:14:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Mate, that was some exceptionally shit dancing.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45LAUGHTER
0:14:45 > 0:14:50I'm going to put it to these people because it's such a close contest.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Who has won the entire thing?
0:14:53 > 0:14:55FROM AUDIENCE: Two Lauras.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02Who here thinks Two Lauras should win it?
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Who here thinks the Goatee should win it?
0:15:12 > 0:15:16Mate, yous is good but I'm afraid yous is more like a mum than a dad.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21Go back to the women there. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:27 > 0:15:33Ladies and gentleman, the new WGD Well Good Champion of the World...
0:15:33 > 0:15:37Two Lauras!
0:15:46 > 0:15:49It's not going to fit, geez, don't even pretend.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52And you still got a bit of Johnny in your mouth.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58My man, yous the legend, do you fancy introducing what's coming up next?
0:15:58 > 0:16:02- Yes.- Yeah! All you got to do is look down there and say, "Give it up for Jason Bent."
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Give it up for Jason Bent.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Yeah!
0:16:08 > 0:16:12Jason Bent is one of the Premier League's brightest talents,
0:16:12 > 0:16:15and we've been given 110% access to his life.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23This is 110% Bent.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29It's the launch night of the clubs new in-house TV station,
0:16:29 > 0:16:33and they've asked Jason to take some calls from the fans.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37Hello, and welcome to Bent Night Live. Today, we have Jason.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41Thank you for coming on the show. It's a privilege to have you here.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Now, I'm sure all the fans out there are breathing a huge sigh
0:16:44 > 0:16:47of relief that you've actually signed a new contract.
0:16:47 > 0:16:52Thanks a lot, that's great to hear. Erm, but they should know by now that contracts mean fuck all.
0:16:52 > 0:16:56Let's go straight to our phone lines. We've got Vernon on the line. Vernon, are you there?
0:16:56 > 0:17:00- What's your question for Jason? - 'Hello, Jason.'- Hello, Vernon.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03'Now I know you and Deano have got a great partnership on the pitch,
0:17:03 > 0:17:06'but is it true that you don't talk to each other off the pitch?'
0:17:06 > 0:17:10You know what the papers are like, Vernon. Erm, they like to make a story out of nothing.
0:17:10 > 0:17:14There's absolutely no problem there, I think me and Deano get on great.
0:17:14 > 0:17:19Especially when you consider I've been fucking his wife for four seasons.
0:17:19 > 0:17:23Well, moving on. We saw during the summer, that, er...that you were
0:17:23 > 0:17:26heavily involved in the Kick Racism Out Of Football campaign.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29Is that something you're still involved in?
0:17:29 > 0:17:32Most definitely. Erm, we got to kick racism out of football,
0:17:32 > 0:17:34and into the stands where it belongs.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36We need to give racism the red card.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39Not the yellow card, that'll offend the Chinese community.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43We've had an e-mail here, it's from Nick. Now, Nick asks, "Jason, is it
0:17:43 > 0:17:46"true there have been clashes between the manager and the players
0:17:46 > 0:17:49"about the drinking culture at the club?"
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Yeah, the gaffer wanted us to stop drinking completely,
0:17:51 > 0:17:55erm, whereas, the lads thought it was OK to have one or two after a game.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59So we all sat down, had an open honest discussion
0:17:59 > 0:18:00and told them to fuck off.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03This one's from Mark in Cheshire. Now he asks,
0:18:03 > 0:18:06"What do you think of the fans that booed you in your last home game?"
0:18:06 > 0:18:08The fans have paid their money.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10You know, they're entitled to their opinion,
0:18:10 > 0:18:14I just have to keep reminding meself that the supporters here are a bunch
0:18:14 > 0:18:18of worthless pricks, who's entire life is based around 90 minutes on a Saturday.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20They can sit on my fat one.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22OK. Well, we've got Andy on the line.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Thanks for holding, Andy. What's your question to Jason?
0:18:25 > 0:18:29ANDY MUMBLES IN LIVERPUDLIAN ACCENT
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Erm, what do you reckon?
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Well, I think you're spot on.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Probably still a couple of seasons on.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52That's it from us here at United TV.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55We'll see you back here next week, good night.
0:19:05 > 0:19:09When I say hello to you, you legend at the back, with the check shirt and all that.
0:19:09 > 0:19:14Yeah, you look like a nice man, a sensible man, innit?
0:19:14 > 0:19:18Did you vote? I bet you're the sort of geezer who voted? Did you vote?
0:19:18 > 0:19:22- Yeah.- I knew it! He done a vote, innit, geez! Who'd you vote for?
0:19:22 > 0:19:25- Tories. - AUDIENCE BOOS
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Hang on, hang on, who'd you vote for?
0:19:28 > 0:19:31The Tories.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33I'm talking about Britain's Got Talent.
0:19:42 > 0:19:48Listen, I think the only UK politician I respect was that Tony Blair fella.
0:19:48 > 0:19:53I quite liked him, I could relate to him. Apparently he was a druggie.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57Yes, they say he had a problem with Brown for ten years.
0:20:03 > 0:20:07Cos our politicians fucked up all the money in the country, innit?
0:20:07 > 0:20:10Oi, sweets, you obviously ain't been affected by the recession.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13You look a million dollars.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17Innit? That's how you end up getting sucked off.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27Oi, you got a nice outfit on, sweetheart.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31It would look even better on the floor of the disabled toilets.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Easy, easy, you know what I mean?
0:20:36 > 0:20:37Then you have two on the go at once.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39You all right over here, sweetie pie?
0:20:39 > 0:20:43You look so nice as well. Is that a ladder in your tights?
0:20:43 > 0:20:46- No.- Or a stairway to your minge?
0:20:51 > 0:20:55Oi, I'm lucky though now, cos I do a bit of the TV show stuff,
0:20:55 > 0:20:58I got a little bit of money, finally got a credit card.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00AUDIENCE: Wooh!
0:21:00 > 0:21:04Yes! With my name on it. CHEERING
0:21:04 > 0:21:10I bought myself a 3D TV that is incredible, man! 3D TV!
0:21:10 > 0:21:14I ain't watching porn on it again though, nearly took my eye out.
0:21:19 > 0:21:23Right, people, my show wouldn't be the same without this next man,
0:21:23 > 0:21:27make some noise for Doctor Bob! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Every second...
0:21:30 > 0:21:33of every minute...of every day...
0:21:33 > 0:21:37a new baby is born.
0:21:37 > 0:21:41Screaming is not going to make things better.
0:21:41 > 0:21:42Good!
0:21:42 > 0:21:46We put cameras into the wards of one of the busiest maternity hospitals
0:21:46 > 0:21:50- in the country.- Shoot me the baby!
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Following Dr Bob
0:21:53 > 0:21:55and his team of midwives.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57I've lost my pen!
0:21:57 > 0:21:59It's a baby.
0:22:08 > 0:22:13Hello, nice to meet you both. I'm Dr Bob, but please...
0:22:13 > 0:22:15call me Dr Bob.
0:22:15 > 0:22:20Good! Let's have a little feel of your tum-tum shall we?
0:22:24 > 0:22:28- Good. Good.- Er...
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Doctor, it's actually me who's pregnant.
0:22:30 > 0:22:36Ah! Silly me! It's just... you're so fat.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Yes.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Right. Well, everything seems to be going to plan.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Is the father coming down for the birth?
0:22:50 > 0:22:51No, we're actually a couple.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00That's good, yes. Er... congratulations. Er...I certainly
0:23:00 > 0:23:05don't have the slightest of problem with the, er...rug munching set up.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07Good.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Well, we even now.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26Your waters have broken all over me.
0:23:26 > 0:23:31In fact, you're one up - some of it's gone in my mouth.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36- Arghhh!- Keep pushing! Keep it up!
0:23:36 > 0:23:38It's a tough one.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45Arghhhhhh!
0:23:45 > 0:23:50Hummm! Hummm! Hummmmm!
0:23:50 > 0:23:53Push!
0:23:59 > 0:24:06Congratulations, you're a mother. And you're...another woman.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11Yes, you've done so well. Why don't you give her a nice hug?
0:24:11 > 0:24:16Yes, give her a kiss, kiss her.
0:24:16 > 0:24:17God.
0:24:19 > 0:24:20Touch her boobies.
0:24:25 > 0:24:29Hi! Water birth?
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Let's do it.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43Hello, Omelette. You know what it's time for?
0:24:43 > 0:24:48- I'm not doing it.- Yes, you are. It's your peer pressure challenge!
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Omelette's peer pressure challenge.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Yes!
0:24:59 > 0:25:03Omelette, on this wheel are three things and at the end of the show,
0:25:03 > 0:25:05you has to do one of them.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08Do you fancy...
0:25:08 > 0:25:12drinking a pint of off milk?
0:25:14 > 0:25:16No, not really.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Is you up for...
0:25:19 > 0:25:21having your nipples pierced?
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Course not.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27How about...
0:25:27 > 0:25:31eating some dog food out of a dog bowl with another dog?
0:25:33 > 0:25:35No, definitely not.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Well, yous is gonna have to do one of them, mate,
0:25:38 > 0:25:42cos it's Omelette's peer pressure challenge! Spin that wheel!
0:25:51 > 0:25:52Yes!
0:25:57 > 0:26:01Omelette, you gonna eat some dog food with another dog?
0:26:01 > 0:26:02No, I'm not.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Well, we'll see about that, mate.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07Everyone, let's pressure him into it.
0:26:07 > 0:26:13ALL CHANT: Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
0:26:16 > 0:26:18You gonna do it now?
0:26:18 > 0:26:20- Yeah, all right.- Yeah!
0:26:22 > 0:26:25Off you go and get ready, my man.
0:26:27 > 0:26:33Oh, quality! Now it's time for my Aunty Janet's tips.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Why not spice things up
0:26:39 > 0:26:42with your partner by using fruit-flavoured condoms?
0:26:42 > 0:26:46You'll get more sex and you should get her five a day.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52Yeah! I love my Aunty Janet!
0:26:52 > 0:26:55That, people, is all we've got time for. Oh no!
0:26:55 > 0:26:58AUDIENCE GROANS
0:26:58 > 0:27:03But before we go, it's time to reveal this week's audience bell end.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Ah, brilliant.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26Proper bell end.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32Well, there's just one more thing to come...it's my nan singing!
0:27:34 > 0:27:37Come on down, Nan.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39Thank you for watching.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41Thank you for coming.
0:27:43 > 0:27:44Come on, Nan.
0:27:46 > 0:27:49What you gonna be singing for us tonight, Nan?
0:27:49 > 0:27:51Tonight, Lee, I'm going to be Tinie Tempah,
0:27:51 > 0:27:54- and I'm collaborating with Swedish House Mafia.- Yeah!
0:27:57 > 0:28:00Take it away, Nan.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04Yeah!
0:28:04 > 0:28:09# I got a black BM I got my white TT
0:28:09 > 0:28:12# Wanna see what is in my CK briefs?
0:28:12 > 0:28:16# I tell her wear suspenders and some PVC
0:28:16 > 0:28:19# And then I'll film it all up on my JVC
0:28:19 > 0:28:21# Scene one
0:28:21 > 0:28:23# Everybody get in your positions
0:28:23 > 0:28:27# Pay attention and listen
0:28:27 > 0:28:30# We're tryin' to get this all in one take
0:28:30 > 0:28:33# So let's try and make it happen
0:28:33 > 0:28:35# Action! #
0:28:42 > 0:28:45Dad dance! Give it again! Give it again!
0:28:45 > 0:28:46More of that!
0:28:48 > 0:28:50What an idiot, innit?
0:28:50 > 0:28:52Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:52 > 0:28:54E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk