0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:05 > 0:00:10Britain, Britain, Britain. Every day I see folk whose faces I'd like to lick clean off.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12Foreigners, however, are foul.
0:00:12 > 0:00:15They're hairy, dirty looking and smell of foreign.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18So we British have a duty to help these savages.
0:00:18 > 0:00:21Join me now as we take Little Britain abroad.
0:00:21 > 0:00:27Higher, baby, get higher, baby, and don't ever come down.
0:00:27 > 0:00:28Freebase.
0:00:31 > 0:00:37Lou and his friend Andy have been stranded on this desert island for two long weeks.
0:00:54 > 0:00:59Hopefully someone will see that and come and rescue us.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01- Yeah, it's boring here.- Yeah.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Sorry we didn't get to Disney World.
0:01:03 > 0:01:07This is more like that Tom Hanks film, innit? What's it called?
0:01:07 > 0:01:08Turner and Hooch.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11No, not Turner and Hooch.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Sleepless in Seattle.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15No, no, not Sleepless in Seattle.
0:01:15 > 0:01:20- Bachelor party.- No, no. It's the one all on a desert island.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Oh, Apollo 13.
0:01:23 > 0:01:24No, no. Not Apollo 13.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26It's the one about a castaway.
0:01:26 > 0:01:31He's a castaway and he's been cast away. What's it called?
0:01:31 > 0:01:35- It'll come to me.- I'm hungry.
0:01:35 > 0:01:36Oh, yes, of course.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38I'm terribly sorry.
0:01:38 > 0:01:43I'll just go and hunt for some food for you. What do you want?
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Turkey twizzlers...
0:01:45 > 0:01:49- Right. - And Birds Eye potato waffles.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Yes?
0:01:51 > 0:01:53They're waffley versatile.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57I'm not really sure they have that sort of thing on a desert island.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00- Yeah, I know. - I'll see what I can find.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05And a can of Lilt!
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Look! It's Mel Smith.
0:03:05 > 0:03:12Back in Thailand, just north of Shirtland, Vicky Pollard's trial has been going on for many months now.
0:03:12 > 0:03:18No, but yeah, but no, but yeah, but no, but yeah, but no, but yeah, but no, but yeah,
0:03:18 > 0:03:23but, oh my God, this other thing happened what I completely forgot to tell you about, because you know Caz?
0:03:23 > 0:03:26Well, she got sacked from the bakery counter at Somerfield's,
0:03:26 > 0:03:31cos she kept licking the sugar off the doughnuts then putting them back
0:03:31 > 0:03:35but anyway she went down The Fleece with the Redman sisters, drank 15 bottles of Hooch
0:03:35 > 0:03:39and then went back there and shat in a tub of Utterly Butterly.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42So, you giving me Thai evils?
0:03:42 > 0:03:47Does the defence have anything to add before sentence is passed?
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Just one last thing, your honour.
0:03:49 > 0:03:54The defendant mother has come from England and would like to make a plea on behalf of her daughter.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Very well.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Call Shelley Pollard.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11Mrs Pollard, you believe your daughter is innocent, don't you?
0:04:11 > 0:04:17No, but yeah, but no, but yeah, because she well ain't done it, so shut up!
0:04:17 > 0:04:21She was well a good child and then she fell in with a bad crowd when she was three.
0:04:21 > 0:04:25I'm not saying she ain't never not done nothing or nothing, but she ain't no drug muggler,
0:04:25 > 0:04:29and if anyone says she is, they're well gonna get a beatings.
0:04:29 > 0:04:34Cos my daughter is, like, well unguilty. Look at her. She's got the face of a fucking angel!
0:04:39 > 0:04:44- Well, thank you very much, Mrs Pollard.- I ain't done yet. God! Stop getting involved!
0:04:44 > 0:04:49This whole thing would never even have happened anyway if it weren't for Kelly Bates.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53Shut up, slag! Kelly Bates never even done nothing or nothing!
0:04:53 > 0:04:58Oh my God! I so can't believe you just said that. Kelly Bates is the most roughest girl in Avon.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02Kelly Bates has been my number one friend for, like, ever and ever.
0:05:02 > 0:05:07We even carved our names into each other's arms, only I spelt her name wrong so it looks like Kevin,
0:05:07 > 0:05:13but I don't even talk to Kevin Hayes anyway cos he's, like, well gay.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14- But, anyway...- Enough!
0:05:16 > 0:05:18- Minger!- Slag bag!
0:05:18 > 0:05:2110 years.
0:05:21 > 0:05:2320 years.
0:05:28 > 0:05:33Yesterday, Dudley Punt married his Thai bride Ting Tong Macadangdang.
0:05:33 > 0:05:37He wanted to make an honest man-woman of her.
0:05:37 > 0:05:42Today, they start their honeymoon in Belgium.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46This don't look very romantic, Mr Dudley.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49What you talking about, Ting Tong? It's beautiful.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54You said we were staying in a hotel.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57Well, it's like a hotel, but smaller.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59And on wheels.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Dudley! How are you?
0:06:12 > 0:06:14- How are you?- Yeah, I'm all right.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17- This is my little brother. - We're staying with your brother?
0:06:17 > 0:06:19You must be Ping Pong?
0:06:19 > 0:06:23- Ting Tong.- Ting Tong, from the Philippines?- Thailand.
0:06:23 > 0:06:27Thailand, that right. They're much cheaper there, aren't they?
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Welcome, King Kong.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Is there something you need to tell me?
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Oh, them!
0:06:37 > 0:06:40In all seriousness, though, they...
0:06:40 > 0:06:41They belong to the new wife.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44New wife? What happened to the old one?
0:06:44 > 0:06:47I traded her in for a younger model, didn't I?
0:06:47 > 0:06:51- She's 18, she's Russian, she's a virgin.- Lovely.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Yeah. All the good brides are Russian these days.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Dear, though - 200 quid!
0:06:56 > 0:06:59Ivanka!
0:06:59 > 0:07:00Here she is.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03Ivanka, my new wife.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07Ivanka. Good at meeting you.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Nice to meet you, Miss Ivanka.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15I see you have car.
0:07:15 > 0:07:20Austin Allegro, chocolate brown.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22- This is my friend...- Wife!
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Wife, Ting Tong.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28- She's beautiful, ain't she? - Not half.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30- She's done a lot of... - Modelling.- Modelling.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Really? Yes.
0:07:32 > 0:07:37I have been on cover of Russian Vogue, Russian Tatler
0:07:37 > 0:07:40and Russian Take A Break.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43- Whoopee-doo!- Come on, come on inside. Have a drink.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46After you, Miss Ivanka.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Thank you.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59PARP!
0:07:59 > 0:08:01That is a warning.
0:08:04 > 0:08:11This clothing boutique is in at the skiing resort of Klosters in Switzerland. Ah, Switzerland!
0:08:11 > 0:08:16Not so helpful in a war, but wonderful fondue.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Hello, darling!
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Bonjour, Madame.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Bubbles Devere, pleased to meet you.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25- Can I help you?- Yes, darling.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27Can you keep a secret?
0:08:27 > 0:08:33- Well yes, of course, Madame.- Good, because my dear, dear friend, the King of England, Sir Prince Charles,
0:08:33 > 0:08:37is choppering in tomorrow and is hosting a big dinner party for me.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41- Really?- Yes. I think he's planning to marry me off to one of the boys.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Well, we'll soon see about that!
0:08:44 > 0:08:46How can I help?
0:08:46 > 0:08:48I need you to loan me a dress, darling.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51I'm afraid we don't loan dresses here, Madame.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Not normally, no, but I am Bubbles Devere.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Pictures of me in your dress will go around the world.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Did you not see me in last week's Bella?
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Sales of flip flops skyrocketed.
0:09:02 > 0:09:06- I'm afraid I don't know you, Madame. - Everybody knows Bubbles.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13SHE IMPERSONATES NOKIA RINGTONE
0:09:13 > 0:09:17Oh, do excuse me.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Yes? Oh, my good friend Jilly Cooper!
0:09:21 > 0:09:24Hello, Jilly Cooper.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26How are you, Jilly Cooper?
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Yes, I'm very well, Jilly Cooper.
0:09:28 > 0:09:34Well, thank you for calling, Jilly Cooper. Goodbye, Jilly Cooper.
0:09:34 > 0:09:35Jilly Cooper.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38So, what do we have here? Oh, this looks di-wine.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Oh, I don't think we have that one in Madame's size.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44What? You want to put me in this?
0:09:44 > 0:09:45I'm not Kate Winslet, darling!
0:09:45 > 0:09:48This one is much more my style.
0:09:51 > 0:09:56Oh, please be careful with the dress, Madame. It cost 10,000 euros.
0:09:56 > 0:09:57Being... Very...
0:09:57 > 0:10:00careful...darling.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02What do you think?
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Too daring?
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Moontime, back on this desert island...
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- Andy, I'm back.- Yeah, I know.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28I've managed to catch this.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Were you all right without me?
0:10:33 > 0:10:39Yeah, fine. I had a buffet lunch, a massage and a facial, and then I played a game of tennis.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42Yes, yes. Of course you did.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46Oh, dear Lord, he's getting delusional.
0:10:47 > 0:10:54Right, so you hold the racket like so, there's a good girl.
0:10:54 > 0:10:59And when the ball comes towards you, you hit it like so.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01I think she knows by now, Mr Dudley.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04- Ivanka!- Yes, husband?
0:11:04 > 0:11:06The toilet needs emptying.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09- Ting Tong can do it. - She's busy with the spuds.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Come on, chop chop!
0:11:17 > 0:11:21- Did you ask for a fat one? - No, it's just how she came.
0:11:21 > 0:11:25Do you know, I've got a good mind to pack my bags and go back to Thailand.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28Oh, no, don't say that.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31Please, no. You haven't finished your taters yet.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Some honeymoon this is turning out to be.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36This human waste is so heavy.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39- Oh, let me help.- She can do it!
0:11:39 > 0:11:40No, I insist, I insist.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Oh, thank you.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45I'll come with you as well.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47No, you're all right, friend.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51What you reckon, Ting Tong?
0:11:51 > 0:11:54You think she really is 18?
0:11:54 > 0:11:57Ting Tong?
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Ting Tong?
0:12:11 > 0:12:15I'll show that bitch who can be sexy.
0:12:15 > 0:12:20Excuse me? Do you have this in a size eight?
0:12:20 > 0:12:22- I just have a look.- Thank you.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Ivanka?
0:12:31 > 0:12:35At the Vatican, Ann has been granted an audience with the Pope.
0:12:35 > 0:12:41I once enjoyed an audience with the Pope, although I did prefer An Audience with Joe Pasquale.
0:12:41 > 0:12:46As you know, Ann has always been a deeply spiritual person
0:12:46 > 0:12:51and it's long been her dream to meet his holiness the Pope.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57I think it's going to be a profound moment for us all.
0:12:59 > 0:13:03HE SPEAKS ITALIAN
0:13:03 > 0:13:05La Signorina Anna.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23Eh-eh-eh!
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Wasn't that beautiful?
0:13:29 > 0:13:32When I go abroad, I find a house I like,
0:13:32 > 0:13:37forcibly eject the occupants and stay there for two weeks.
0:13:37 > 0:13:42Other people prefer to stay in hotels like this one here in Portugal.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45- See you by the pool, gorgeous.- Paul?
0:13:45 > 0:13:49Oh, sorry. I'm not signing any autographs today, I'm on holiday.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51No, no, no. It's me, Kenny Craig.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55I'm a hypnotist, too. We met last year at Uri Geller's barbecue.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Oh, of course. How's it going?
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Really well. Quite badly.
0:13:59 > 0:14:05I really wanna be on TV like you but I'm kinda stuck out here on the whole Club 18-30 circuit at the moment.
0:14:05 > 0:14:06- Oh dear, I'm sorry.- Yeah.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10I'll be honest with you, Paul, I've lost my way, you know? I've kind of lost my confidence.
0:14:10 > 0:14:15- Have you read my book, Paul McKenna's Boost Your Confidence by Paul McKenna?- No, no, I haven't.
0:14:15 > 0:14:21There's a really good exercise in it. I could do it on your right now if you'd like?
0:14:21 > 0:14:24- That'd be great, thank you.- OK. Look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes.
0:14:24 > 0:14:29Not around the eyes, look into the eyes, the eyes. You're under. You are a worthless piece of scum.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33How dare you even think you can compete with me, the great Paul McKenna?
0:14:33 > 0:14:36From this moment on, you will lose all your skills in hypnotism.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Your life will fall apart.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41You will become a tramp, a hobo, a beggar man.
0:14:41 > 0:14:45You'll go rifling through bins looking for a half-eaten box of KFC.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47That is your destiny.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Three, two, one. You're back in the room.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Wow, that was amazing. Thank you.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54- No problem.- Wow.
0:15:10 > 0:15:14Meanwhile, Lou has made an important decision.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Now, you know we've been on this island for many weeks now?
0:15:17 > 0:15:22- Yeah, I know. - I'm gonna have to go off in this raft to try and get help.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26- Fine.- It may be our only chance of survival.
0:15:26 > 0:15:31I've left some food for you in the hut, there's a marmoset curry
0:15:31 > 0:15:37with a coconut and mango salad and some jumbo prawns wrapped in banana leaves.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39All you have to do is heat them up.
0:15:39 > 0:15:44- What's for pudding? - Do you like passion fruit?
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Well, there's a passion fruit compote if you want it.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Will you be OK?
0:15:49 > 0:15:53- Yeah, I've got a scuba-diving lesson booked for 12.- Yeah.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58Well, farewell, my friend.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01This may be the last time you ever see me.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04I have something I need to tell you.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11I love you.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14You're blocking the sun.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17Oh...sorry.
0:16:30 > 0:16:38It's a quarter a clock and Mr Mann has taken his lifelong search for a pirate memory game to Morocco.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52HE SPEAKS ARABIC
0:16:52 > 0:16:56- HE SPEAKS ARABIC - ..pirate memory games.
0:16:56 > 0:17:01HE SPEAKS ARABIC
0:17:02 > 0:17:05HE CALLS OUT IN ARABIC
0:17:11 > 0:17:13SHE ANSWERS IN ARABIC >
0:17:13 > 0:17:16HE SPEAKS ARABIC ..pirate memory games?
0:17:16 > 0:17:19SHE ANSWERS IN ARABIC
0:17:19 > 0:17:21SHE SPEAKS ARABIC
0:17:21 > 0:17:22HE REPEATS IN ARABIC
0:17:22 > 0:17:25- Oh.- Oh.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Hungry hippos? >
0:17:40 > 0:17:43- HE SPEAKS ARABIC - Pirate memory games?
0:17:46 > 0:17:48HE SPEAKS ARABIC
0:17:57 > 0:18:00HE ASKS QUESTION IN ARABIC
0:18:00 > 0:18:02SHE ANSWERS IN ARABIC
0:18:02 > 0:18:05HE SPEAKS ARABIC
0:18:18 > 0:18:20HE SHOUTS IN ARABIC
0:18:30 > 0:18:33Pirate memory games!
0:18:34 > 0:18:39This is America, where the Prime Minister is on an official visit to the White House.
0:18:39 > 0:18:44Personally, I find white a bit common. I'd have gone for cream.
0:18:44 > 0:18:48And myself and the Prime Minister are going to be having talks all afternoon.
0:18:48 > 0:18:52Yes, I'm really hoping that we can build on our special relationship.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58No further questions.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Yeah, no further questions, please.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06Now, I've asked for us not to be disturbed this afternoon.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08That's a good idea, we've got a lot to get through.
0:19:08 > 0:19:12- Marvin?- Yes, sir, Mr President, sir? - What's all this about a special relationship?
0:19:12 > 0:19:16Between our two nations, and obviously the President and I get on very well.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18- Yes, a little too well for my liking.- Sebastian!
0:19:18 > 0:19:21- If it's just sex then fine, but if it's something deeper... - Don't be ridiculous!
0:19:24 > 0:19:25Uh, uh, uh.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Marvin, no calls.
0:19:30 > 0:19:31Sir, yes, sir, Mr President, sir.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39What've they been doing in there? They've been ages.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42- What?- I bet your president's all over him.- As if!
0:19:42 > 0:19:45I've seen the way he looks at him.
0:19:45 > 0:19:46You are such a fruit.
0:19:46 > 0:19:51- Wha-a-at?- It's creepy. You're, like, totally obsessed.
0:19:51 > 0:19:56- Not totally!- I bet you've got pictures of the Prime Minister all over your bedroom wall.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58Not ALL over!
0:19:58 > 0:20:03He ain't all that. I mean, Mr President, look at him. He's a dreamboat.
0:20:03 > 0:20:09- Oh, so you keep a picture of the President in your wallet? - For security purposes.
0:20:09 > 0:20:13- I bet they're kissing right now. - Oh, you should be on Springer.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16Let me through, I've gotta see what's going on!
0:20:16 > 0:20:21- Sir, step aside from the door, sir. - Get out of my way!- You're causing a situation here, sir.- Let me through!
0:20:21 > 0:20:22You'll have to kill me first.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24- Oh, look - Kofi Annan!- What?
0:20:24 > 0:20:27Ah, Chinese burn!
0:20:27 > 0:20:31The UN resolution does not state that...
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Yes, Sebastian?
0:20:33 > 0:20:37Just checking you've got a pen.
0:20:39 > 0:20:40Yes, I have.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43Right. Sorry, Prime Minister.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46He gave me a Chinese burn!
0:20:46 > 0:20:48- Thank you, Marvin. - It hurts, sir.- Marvin!
0:20:48 > 0:20:51Sir, yes, sir, Mr President, sir.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00You're an animal!
0:21:02 > 0:21:07With Marjorie Dawes in America, Texan Fatfighters group leader Blanche Chuckatuck
0:21:07 > 0:21:10has come over here to meet some fat British pigs.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14OK, my fat fighting folk. How y'all doing today?
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Fine, thank you.
0:21:16 > 0:21:17Blanche can't hear y'all!
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Fine, thank you.
0:21:19 > 0:21:23- I said, "Blanche can't hear y'all!" - Good.- Thank you.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25OK, we are cooking.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29With low-fat oil. Now, my name is Blanche Tuckatuck.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32I come from Rock Springs, Texas
0:21:32 > 0:21:37and I wanna say it is a great honour for me to take your Fatfighters group tonight.
0:21:37 > 0:21:41- Lovely.- All right, let's start with the weigh in.
0:21:41 > 0:21:45- Ma'am, would you like to go first? - OK.- What's your name, pretty lady?
0:21:45 > 0:21:47- Pat.- Pat or Patti?
0:21:47 > 0:21:49- Pat.- OK, Patti.
0:21:49 > 0:21:55If you wanna get yourself up there on them there scales, there. OK...
0:21:55 > 0:21:57Oh, I've put on three pounds.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00It ain't easy, is it?
0:22:00 > 0:22:04What you gotta do, Patti, is you gotta quit eating them fattening foods.
0:22:04 > 0:22:09That means no more grits, no more molasses and no more deep-fried plantain, you hear?
0:22:09 > 0:22:11OK, thanks.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15You got a beautiful fat ass, Patti.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17- Anyone ever told you that?- No.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Ain't she got one sweet ass?
0:22:20 > 0:22:23What's your name, kind sir?
0:22:23 > 0:22:25- Paul.- Paul, or Pauly?
0:22:25 > 0:22:28- Paul. - OK, Pauly, if you wanna get yourself
0:22:28 > 0:22:31up there on them there skills, up there on them there scales, there.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33OK. What have we here?
0:22:35 > 0:22:37- Oh, I've lost two pounds!- Oh!
0:22:37 > 0:22:43You know why Pauly here has lost himself them two pounds?
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Cos he's been praying to Jesus.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48No, I haven't.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Yes, he has. He's just shy.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Jesus loves you, Pauly.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Jesus loves you, Patti,
0:22:58 > 0:23:03even though you've been stuffing yourself with that Aunt Jemima's sweet potato pie.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Jesus loves you, old timer.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15Jesus likes you. He would prefer if you were one of his flock, but he likes you.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18- I'm Hindu. - Pardon me, ma'am?- I'm Hindu.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20- Pardon me, ma'am?- I'm Hindu.
0:23:20 > 0:23:21- Pardon me, ma'am?- I'm Hindu.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24- Pardon me, ma'am? - I'm Hindu.- Pardon me, ma'am.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26- I'm...- She says she's Hindu.
0:23:26 > 0:23:31I don't what that is, and I don't think you know, neither.
0:23:34 > 0:23:38Oh, I got a meeting of my own now, but before I go I want you all
0:23:38 > 0:23:42to give yourself so round of applause for a really great meet.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45- She was all right. - Yeah, she was nice.
0:23:48 > 0:23:49Goodbye, now.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Lou has been at sea for eight days.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59That is nearly a week.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Hang on in there, Andy.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Just a few more thousand miles.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Everything's gonna be OK.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13CALYPSO MUSIC PLAYS
0:24:21 > 0:24:25Now we return to this campsite in Belgium.
0:24:25 > 0:24:29Doesn't look camp to me, looks quite butch.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32This is the life, eh?
0:24:32 > 0:24:39Roast chicken, serviettes and a beautiful wife bought and paid for.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42If our old Ma could see us now.
0:24:42 > 0:24:46It's a terrible thing, blindness.
0:24:46 > 0:24:47I'm back!
0:24:47 > 0:24:52- Oh, yeah?- Yes, and I've brought a movie we can watch.- Oh, lovely.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55- What is it, The Money Pit?- No,
0:24:55 > 0:25:00it's called Snow White Does Seven Dwarves.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04You may have heard of it, Ivanka.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Oh, please don't let's watch movies.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Movies is boring.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Ah, stick it in, stick it in.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15It's a Futawa, it'll need tracking, Ling Ong.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17What's this?
0:25:19 > 0:25:23Oh, being alone in this wood is making me too horny.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26KNOCK ON DOOR
0:25:26 > 0:25:30I wonder if this is the little men come to gangbang me?
0:25:36 > 0:25:38Ivanka?
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Hello, boys!
0:25:43 > 0:25:46You had sex with seven dwarves?
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Two were midgets.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50No, that's it.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53It's over. Ten beautiful days of marriage up the Swanee.
0:25:53 > 0:25:58Oh, no, please! It was just sex! I didn't love any of them.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02You see now what type of woman she is?
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Yes, yes. I do.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06I'm sorry, Ting Tong.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08We're leaving, Mr Dudley.
0:26:08 > 0:26:12You take me on proper honeymoon.
0:26:13 > 0:26:14Yes, of course.
0:26:14 > 0:26:18Can I just see what happens in the end?
0:26:22 > 0:26:26Well, that was a very instructive meeting. We'll talk later at dinner.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Thank you, Michael.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Marvin?
0:26:32 > 0:26:36- So sorry for bursting in like that, Prime Minister.- Yes, Sebastian.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40Just when you said about the special relationship I thought it meant something else.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Well, it doesn't.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44I know. I'm sorry.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47Oh, you've got something on your lapel. Here, let me.
0:26:50 > 0:26:51Mmm, what's that?
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Tastes familiar.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Mmm, definitely had it before.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04Oh, it takes me back to sea scouts.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08I'd... I'd better just get changed for dinner.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10OK, Prime Minister.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13Prime Minister? Er, you forgot your file.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Thank you, Mr President.
0:27:25 > 0:27:30And finally we return home to the glorious isle of Britain.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35Andy, thank God you're safe!
0:27:35 > 0:27:37I was on that raft for weeks.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39- How did you get back? - Plane, it's quicker.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42Oh, I was so worried about you!
0:27:42 > 0:27:47I was on that raft and I lost my paddle, and I thought I was a goner.
0:27:47 > 0:27:50And the only thing that kept me going was the thought of you.
0:27:50 > 0:27:54"Who was gonna look after my Andy? I have to find land, I have to save him"...
0:27:54 > 0:27:56We're out of crisps.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59Right, I'll...
0:27:59 > 0:28:01just go and get you some.
0:28:03 > 0:28:05Beef.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15And so it is time to say goodbye.
0:28:15 > 0:28:23Farewell, my friends, farewell, for this really is the end of Little Britain.
0:28:24 > 0:28:26Abroad.
0:28:28 > 0:28:30Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:30 > 0:28:33E-mail: subtitling@bbc.co.uk