0:00:02 > 0:00:06Britain, Britain, Britain - cultural capital of the world.
0:00:06 > 0:00:09The Sistine Chapel - British.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12Mozart's Requiem - British.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14The Great Wall of China - British.
0:00:14 > 0:00:19None of that would've been invented were it not for the British people.
0:00:19 > 0:00:22The men, the women, the boys,
0:00:22 > 0:00:26the girls, and the children that populate this well fit country.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28Let us have it!
0:00:33 > 0:00:38Vicky Pollard hates smoking. Except in places where it's prohibited.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Put that cigarette out, please.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52And that one.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58- Can I see your ticket, please? - Yeah, I got my ticket...
0:00:58 > 0:00:59right here.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04If you don't have a ticket, you'll have to get off.
0:01:04 > 0:01:09That is so unfair! This is sexual harassment. If you fancy me, say so!
0:01:09 > 0:01:15This is like when Miss Runnit, who everyone knows is a total lesbian, made Candice Burton stay behind
0:01:15 > 0:01:21for gobbing on someone's hair. She only made her stay late cos she wanted to get off with her.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25If you don't have a ticket, you can get off at the next stop.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28It is OK, Vicky, I got you a ticket.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30One for you, one for me.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34Thank you.
0:01:34 > 0:01:39What did you do that for, you virgin?! I don't need no ticket to get no bus! I'm Vicky Pollard!
0:01:39 > 0:01:46Everyone will think I'm well sad. This is like when Tony told the fourth year I shat myself in Bath.
0:01:46 > 0:01:50It was Bernice. I made a tape of her crying and admitting it!
0:01:50 > 0:01:53Anyone that says I'm not hard, will get a spam head!
0:01:53 > 0:01:57- Sorry. It looks like we won't get chucked off.- That's what you think.
0:02:00 > 0:02:05- Oi!- I haven't finished yet! You're so rude!
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Meanwhile, in Herby...
0:02:07 > 0:02:11Are you sure you do not mind just sitting here and watching?
0:02:11 > 0:02:14- Yeah.- Are you sure?- Yeah.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Cos last time we came here, you said it was boring.
0:02:17 > 0:02:22You said that Torvill and Dean's routine aside, ice-skating was aesthetically bankrupt.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24Yeah, I know.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27I will only be 20 minutes or so.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31- Oh, and...which crisps do you want? - I want that one.
0:02:31 > 0:02:35- Cheese and onion, right. - And I want that one.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Right. See you in a bit, then.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Wish me luck.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57I have got to catch my breath. Oh!
0:02:57 > 0:03:02What a kerfuffle. Come on, you can do this.
0:03:09 > 0:03:13At this jeweller's, a robbery has just taken place.
0:03:25 > 0:03:30So, you were standing here at the time of the robbery when three men came in.
0:03:30 > 0:03:34One of them was carrying a gun. What did he look like?
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Oh, he was gorgeous!
0:03:36 > 0:03:40He had lovely long hair and he was wearing tight jeans.
0:03:40 > 0:03:44He looked at me and I thought I would melt. He was a nosh!
0:03:45 > 0:03:50- Did you get a look at the second man?- Yes. Oh, he was gorgeous!
0:03:50 > 0:03:55He was short, not what I normally go for. I like them tall, like you.
0:03:55 > 0:04:00He was gorgeous, and he had this voice that was like, "Put the money in the bag. No-one will get hurt".
0:04:00 > 0:04:04It reminded me of a young Patrick Moore. Oh!
0:04:04 > 0:04:11- And the third man? - Oh, he was gorgeous! Black he was, but that do not bother me. Phwoar!
0:04:11 > 0:04:14- Oh, what's the word...?- Gorgeous?
0:04:14 > 0:04:20Hands off, I seen him first! Oh, he was lush! I would very much like to have had sex with him.
0:04:21 > 0:04:25OK, thank you. One last question. Did you see the getaway driver?
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Was their a getaway driver?
0:04:27 > 0:04:33Yes, there was. He was parked outside the shop in a metallic blue Vauxhall Corsa.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Oh...I am not sure whether I...
0:04:36 > 0:04:39Now, come on, think. This is important.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46I must have done. Because I saw them run out, and you're right.
0:04:46 > 0:04:51They got into a blue car and there was a man sitting in the front seat
0:04:51 > 0:04:53and, oh, he was gorgeous!
0:04:55 > 0:04:59To keep fit, people in Britain go to gymnasia.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03I do not need to take exercise as I have the body of an Adonis.
0:05:05 > 0:05:10- All right?- Yes.- Are you using this? - Yes, I've got one more set to do.
0:05:13 > 0:05:18- You must get this all the time, but who d'you look like? Mr T.- Who?
0:05:18 > 0:05:23- Mr T. The bloke out of The A-team. - I have not seen it.- You know him.
0:05:23 > 0:05:27He's the guy with the mohican, gold chains, he was in Rocky as well.
0:05:27 > 0:05:32- Not Sylvester Stallone?- No, his name is Mr T. He looks just like you.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35Oh, I'll look out for him.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39- Is that yours?- Eh? Oh!
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Cheers.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Oh, what is that show called again?
0:05:50 > 0:05:53- The A-team.- The A-team.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56- They sometimes show it on UK Gold. - Oh, yes. And it's Mr P?
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- No, it's Mr T.- Mr T. Right.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03See you!
0:06:11 > 0:06:16Men dressing up in women's clothing is a disgusting perversion.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20I'm sitting in bra and panties, but I draw the line there.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22- Two ladies! - A lady and a lady out for a stroll.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25Not men. Definitely not men.
0:06:25 > 0:06:30Oh, Florence, regardez les enfants playing footie!
0:06:30 > 0:06:34Oh, how enchanting! Of course, you used to play football, didn't you?
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- No, no.- You were left-back for QPR.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Florence, please remember, I am a lady!
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Can we have our ball back, please?
0:06:44 > 0:06:48- Leave it, Emily.- Florence, I cannot help it.- Fight it.- I can't.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56Be strong! Think of ladies' things.
0:07:00 > 0:07:01Oh!
0:07:12 > 0:07:16I think we got away with that. Au revoir!
0:07:23 > 0:07:27If I had my way, fat people would be strangled at birth,
0:07:27 > 0:07:29but, unfortunately, they are permitted to live.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33Before we start, some congratulations are in order.
0:07:33 > 0:07:40Aren't they, Meera? Because, Fat Fighters, we have a National Lottery winner in our midst.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43Not the jackpot, that went to a white man.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47But Meera Sharma... I am pronouncing it right, aren't I?
0:07:47 > 0:07:51..chose correctly five numbers plus the bonus ball
0:07:51 > 0:07:55and won herself £214,000.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59How about that?!
0:08:00 > 0:08:04What's important is that we don't treat her any differently.
0:08:04 > 0:08:09- Isn't that right, my beautiful Asian friend? - Yes, Margi.- Yes, Marjorie!
0:08:09 > 0:08:13Perfect English, well done. A lot don't make the effort.
0:08:13 > 0:08:18Now, before we go any further, last week I gave you all the new,
0:08:18 > 0:08:25they are new, Fat Fighters' diet sheet to fill out, or fill in, so can I have them back, please?
0:08:25 > 0:08:29Thank you. "Ryvita for breakfast". What did you have on it, lard?!
0:08:31 > 0:08:36No-one likes a liar, Paul. It says here you had fruit for lunch.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39- Yes.- What, Chocolate Orange?!
0:08:39 > 0:08:43Hear that? Chocolate Orange. I don't know, you fatties.
0:08:45 > 0:08:53Oooh, that smells lovely. Have a sniff of that. Cos a lot of people say they smell funny, but they don't.
0:08:53 > 0:08:58No, I'm all for Asians. Ooh, where did you get your safari from?
0:08:58 > 0:09:01I would love one. And a red dot, they are brilliant.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04Hasn't she got lovely handwriting?!
0:09:04 > 0:09:08You'll be writing a lot of cheques now...for all your family in India.
0:09:08 > 0:09:13- New Malden.- Have you thought what you're going to do with it yet?
0:09:13 > 0:09:17I tell you, I would pay off my mortgage, I would go on holiday,
0:09:17 > 0:09:21and the rest of it I'd share with my friends at Fat Fighters.
0:09:21 > 0:09:28- Is that what you'll do...?- I haven't decided.- She's not decided yet, so slow down, you lot. Honestly!
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Please, stop mentioning it.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34Yes, please, can we all please now stop mentioning it?
0:09:34 > 0:09:40Dear, oh, dear, Meera! They are like a pack of vultures. Sorry, vultures, is a type of bird,
0:09:40 > 0:09:45like chicken balti, but without the balti. Right, come on, because we have to get through this now.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Day one. Breakfast.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52Actually, I will just say, sorry, this is preying on my mind.
0:09:52 > 0:09:58Mum is not well again, and all she wants is one last trip to Barbados,
0:09:58 > 0:10:04but money, innit? Eh? Isn't that right, my Gorgeous Asian lady?!
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Money, money, money! Give it to me!
0:10:11 > 0:10:13Now...I spend.
0:10:13 > 0:10:19I do my numbers on a Saturday. I do five Lucky Dips mid-week. I do scratch cards
0:10:19 > 0:10:23and I've not won a penny, and I've lived in this country all my life.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26It's theft. What you've done is theft!
0:10:26 > 0:10:30Horrible how a lottery win changes someone, isn't it?
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Number 10 is a hive of activity
0:10:34 > 0:10:37following the hostile meeting with the Chancellor of Exchequer,
0:10:37 > 0:10:41the Prime Minister and his aide, Sebastian, are hard at it.
0:10:45 > 0:10:51- Are you going to be long? - I am sorry, Prime Minister, my mouth is a bit full.
0:10:53 > 0:10:57- Finished!- I did not even realise there was a tear.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Yes, it's there, Prime Minister.
0:11:03 > 0:11:09Oh, um...here are the notes from the Russian trade negotiations.
0:11:09 > 0:11:15- Who am I meeting?- Oh, some envoy from the British Embassy in Moscow.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18- Show him in.- POP! OK.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25The Prime Minister will see you now.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Michael.
0:11:29 > 0:11:33Andrew, I had no idea it was you. How the devil are you?
0:11:33 > 0:11:35Can you not touch him, please?
0:11:38 > 0:11:44Sebastian, it is quite all right. This is Andrew Wiltshire. He had your job. ..How many years ago?
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Nearly five years ago.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Five years! It is good to see you!
0:11:54 > 0:11:57- So, now you are in Moscow?- Yes. - How have you been?
0:11:57 > 0:12:00Fine. Not quite as much fun as working for you.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04- No staying up on by-election night, drinking tequilas!- Do not remind me!
0:12:04 > 0:12:06What was that?!
0:12:06 > 0:12:10We just spent some very funny, drunken evenings together.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13What happened?
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Nothing happened. We just got very drunk...
0:12:15 > 0:12:21- What about when you locked yourself out of your room and knocked at my door at 3am?- Were you naked?
0:12:24 > 0:12:27- No.- What happened, then?
0:12:27 > 0:12:30It's a long story.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Let us hear it.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Maybe we should get down to business, Prime Minister.
0:12:38 > 0:12:42The Prime Minister is very busy, so if you could get to the point.
0:12:42 > 0:12:49Yes, maybe the best thing is if you can take a look at these and sign them before I leave on Friday.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51You are here till Friday?
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Yes. I have got some free-time if you fancy a drink?
0:12:54 > 0:12:56No. We are very busy.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59You're hurting me, Sebastian.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01I'll see you at the end of the week.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03- Great to see.- Great to see you.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08- Nice to meet you.- Yes, whatever.
0:13:12 > 0:13:17Prime Minister, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't invite your exes round.
0:13:17 > 0:13:22- It makes me very uncomfortable. - Sebastian, I really need to read these papers.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37Did you sleep with him?
0:13:39 > 0:13:44This is the house that hypnotist Kenny Craig shares with his mother.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50I used to live with my mother. Although she died many years ago.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52There you go, love.
0:13:58 > 0:14:02Oh! I forgot the sugar. Could you be a love and get it?
0:14:02 > 0:14:05- Mum, ThunderCats! - I have just sat down.
0:14:05 > 0:14:10Look into my eyes the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes.
0:14:10 > 0:14:16You're under. You may be old and recovering from double hip surgery, but you can bring in the sugar bowl!
0:14:16 > 0:14:20- You're back in the room. - I'll just go and get the sugar.
0:14:20 > 0:14:25You've got some orange Viscounts, so can you bring those in, please?
0:14:25 > 0:14:28- A very lazy person.- There you are.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35What time is it? Songs Of Praise is on the other side.
0:14:35 > 0:14:41Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, look into my eyes. You are under.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44This is an all-time classic episode of ThunderCats.
0:14:44 > 0:14:48I am astounded you'd rather watch Songs Of Praise.
0:14:48 > 0:14:53In fact, you now don't believe in God. You're back in the room.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56- We'll stick with Thunderbirds, shall we?- ThunderCats!
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Thunder-what?
0:14:58 > 0:15:01Look into my eyes, ThunderCats!
0:15:01 > 0:15:03- ThunderCats?- Yes, good.
0:15:03 > 0:15:08You'll have to turn it off soon, cos I've got the girls coming round.
0:15:08 > 0:15:14- OH! Look into my eyes, look into my eyes...- Sorry, love. Can I just get my glasses?
0:15:14 > 0:15:18It might work better with them on. Right, ready.
0:15:23 > 0:15:30It is five to Gill, and Dr Laurence is showing Dr Bigley the work he does outside of the hospital.
0:15:30 > 0:15:34Anne likes to come to this park, and I encourage it.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Feeding the ducks can be very calming.
0:15:40 > 0:15:47Anne loves those ducks. I don't know if Anne has a favourite duck. You would have to ask her.
0:15:47 > 0:15:52There used to be some swans around here. You don't see them any more.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01Anne is just one of those people who loves wildlife.
0:16:07 > 0:16:13It is nought o'clock, and at this shop in Phlegm, Mr Mann is looking for a birthday card.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16I had a birthday once. I was 44.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26- Hello.- Hello.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Sorry, I was just about to take my lunch hour.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Margaret! Margaret!
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Yes?
0:16:40 > 0:16:46I was just about to take my lunch hour. Can you come downstairs and serve a gentleman?
0:16:46 > 0:16:48I don't have any arms or legs.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Sorry, Margaret, I forgot.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58So, how can I help?
0:16:58 > 0:17:01Yes, I would like to purchase a birthday card, please.
0:17:01 > 0:17:05- Right, well, these are all birthday cards.- For a man.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08- These are the men's cards. - Who is 60...
0:17:11 > 0:17:12..5.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18He hates dogs.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23And cats.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30- And cartoon frogs. - Does he hate all animals?
0:17:30 > 0:17:33No, he likes single-cell organisms, like amoebas.
0:17:33 > 0:17:39Well, I can't see any amoeba-based cards here. One moment.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Margaret? Margaret?
0:17:42 > 0:17:46Do we have any cards with single-cell organisms on them?
0:17:46 > 0:17:52- Like amoebas.- Like amoebas? - I don't think so, no. - She says she doesn't think so, no.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55- Oh.- Oh.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57I don't know what to suggest.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Oh, he loves the sea...
0:18:01 > 0:18:04..word.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09I can assure you, we don't have anything with that in it.
0:18:09 > 0:18:13Don't worry, I can write that in myself.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17Do you have any cards that say, "Happy 65th birthday...
0:18:19 > 0:18:21.."Michael Philippides?"
0:18:21 > 0:18:22No.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Mike Philippides?
0:18:30 > 0:18:37In Grope, PCs Bryson and Rawlingson have some sad news to impart.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Mrs Harris, there has been an accident.
0:18:40 > 0:18:44I'm afraid your husband was killed in a car crash this morning.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46No!
0:18:46 > 0:18:48I'm terribly sorry.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50No!
0:18:50 > 0:18:56- He was involved in a collision with a heavy goods vehicle.- Oh, no!
0:18:56 > 0:19:00Paramedics were called, but Ken was pronounced dead at the scene.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Ken?
0:19:06 > 0:19:10- Yes, I'm afraid so. - But my husband's Jonathan.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Jonathan Harris.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15Er...
0:19:15 > 0:19:19it was a black Ford Mondeo. Registration K...
0:19:19 > 0:19:21No, no, we only have a Fiesta.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29We must have got the wrong house!
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Ha-ha, ha! Oh, I don't believe this.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38You want the other Mrs Harris, three doors down.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41Oh, you couldn't make it up!
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Excuse us.
0:19:47 > 0:19:53In Troot, Jeremy Rent has just clinched another major deal for one of his clients.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57So that's Colin Baker to open your church fete this Saturday at two.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01I can throw in Bonnie Langford for an extra £10.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03No? Please yourself. Bye-bye.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- BUZZING - Dennis Waterman here to see you.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10- Oh, lovely. Send him in. - I'll take it for him.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Hello, Dennis. Oh, careful.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14It's all right. I've got it.
0:20:17 > 0:20:18There we go.
0:20:22 > 0:20:28- Now, you know they are showing Minder again on UK Gold.- Oh, yes? - Your repeat fee money came through.
0:20:28 > 0:20:29Ooh! Thank you.
0:20:31 > 0:20:38There's been lots of interest in you. The BBC rang, and they'd like you to be on Never Mind The Buzzcocks.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42Oh, brilliant! It's my favourite.
0:20:42 > 0:20:47I love the bit when Phill Jupitus spontaneously gets up on the desk.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51They've offered £50, but I think I can get them up to £55.
0:20:51 > 0:20:56- I forgot your biscuit.- Oh, don't worry about that.- No, I insist.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00I'm trying to cut down, but I...
0:21:10 > 0:21:13So, The Buzzcocks, would you like to do it?
0:21:13 > 0:21:19- So, they want me to be on the panel, write the theme tune, sing the theme tune...- Well, no.
0:21:19 > 0:21:23They've got a theme tune. They'd just like you to be on the panel.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25£55, Dennis.
0:21:27 > 0:21:31# This show is called Never Mind The Buzzcocks
0:21:31 > 0:21:32# Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo
0:21:32 > 0:21:37# It is hosted by Mark Lamarr Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo
0:21:37 > 0:21:41# Phill Jupitus is the team captain so is Bill Bailey
0:21:41 > 0:21:45# Who took over from Sean Hughes. #
0:21:45 > 0:21:46I'll tell them you are busy.
0:21:48 > 0:21:52Oh, Jeremy, there is a mouse in here!
0:21:52 > 0:21:55Don't worry, he'll soon scuttle out.
0:22:09 > 0:22:15In Grope, PCs Bryce and Rawlinson still have some sad news to impart.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21We have some bad news.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23There has been an accident.
0:22:23 > 0:22:29I'm afraid your husband, KEN Harris, was killed in a car crash.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32No! No!
0:22:32 > 0:22:35God, no! Please...
0:22:35 > 0:22:39We're terribly sorry.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Ken's dead?!
0:22:41 > 0:22:43I'm afraid so, Madam.
0:22:43 > 0:22:49His black Ford Mondeo was involved in a collision with a heavy goods vehicle.
0:22:49 > 0:22:53Paramedics were called, but Ken was pronounced dead at the scene.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Funny thing, actually...
0:23:05 > 0:23:09After an audition for the local production of Hamlet,
0:23:09 > 0:23:12the littlest homo Daffyd Thomas is off to the pub.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15- Afternoon, Daffyd.- Queer basher!
0:23:25 > 0:23:28- Bacardi and Coke, please, Myfanwy. - Coming right up.
0:23:31 > 0:23:35- So, how did the audition go? - It was a complete waste of time.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38The director said I wasn't Hamlet.
0:23:38 > 0:23:43I'm sorry, Myfanwy, but the Llanddewi Breffi Amateur Dramatics Society is homophobist.
0:23:43 > 0:23:48- What audition speech did you do? - It's Raining Men, The Weather Girls.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Maybe you'll get a bit in the panto.
0:23:51 > 0:23:56I doubt it. It's very difficult for gay people to make it in the theatre.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59I cannot think of a single gay actor.
0:24:01 > 0:24:02Ooh, I nearly forgot.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06- Your brother rang.- Really? - He said he'll pop over.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09Says he's got something important to tell your ma and da.
0:24:09 > 0:24:14I wonder what it could be. I hope he hasn't got some girl pregnant.
0:24:16 > 0:24:19- Hiya.- Hello, Dewi.
0:24:19 > 0:24:23- Oh, he's bought his friend Pedro. Hello.- Hola.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Dos Bacardi and Coke, por favor.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32So, Dewi, what's the matter?
0:24:32 > 0:24:36Um...well...um...
0:24:39 > 0:24:43Nancy boy! Whoo-hoo!
0:24:43 > 0:24:50I've always looked up to you and, I'm thinking of coming out to ma and da and I wanted your advice.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Oh, right, sorry. Coming out as what?
0:24:52 > 0:24:54Well...
0:24:54 > 0:24:57- as gay.- What?!
0:24:57 > 0:25:01You're gay? I had no idea!
0:25:01 > 0:25:04I suppose I've hidden it quite well.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Have you told Pedro?
0:25:06 > 0:25:09PEDRO SPEAKS SPANISH
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Pedro knows.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14You mustn't tell ma and da.
0:25:14 > 0:25:19- Why not?- We've already got one gay in this family, we don't need two!
0:25:19 > 0:25:22- But they need to know! - All right, let me think.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25How do you feel about being bisexual?
0:25:25 > 0:25:28- But I'm not. I'm gay.- Bisexual!
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Horrible!
0:25:31 > 0:25:34Couldn't you at least try it?
0:25:34 > 0:25:36The boy likes cock, Daffyd.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41Look at him, he's bloody gagging for it!
0:25:41 > 0:25:45Si, Senora. Uno, dos, tres, quattro...
0:25:48 > 0:25:51I'm sorry, Myfanwy. I am not having a gay brother!
0:25:51 > 0:25:55Oh, he was like this when I told him about my first taste of fanny.
0:25:57 > 0:26:03- I'm sorry you feel that way, Daffyd, but I'm off home to tell them now. Come along, Pedro.- Sex-o?
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Later.
0:26:08 > 0:26:12Daffyd, that was no way to speak to your brother and his boyfriend.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15Pedro's gay too?!
0:26:18 > 0:26:25At this supermarket in Herby, Lou has spent all of his Jobseeker's Allowance on food for Andy.
0:26:25 > 0:26:31- You forgot the Monster Munch.- No, we've got plenty of those at home. - Yeah, I know.
0:26:32 > 0:26:37Oh, no! Look what some silly arse has done.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39I can't get the van out now! Oh!
0:26:39 > 0:26:45Well, you wait here, I'll see if I can find someone.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48- What a kerfuffle!- I'll miss My Hero.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51There's not a lot I can do. I'll be as quick as I can.
0:26:51 > 0:26:52My Hero!
0:27:25 > 0:27:29I don't think we need you any more. All right. Thanks a lot.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36And so we end our trip around Little Britain.
0:27:36 > 0:27:42I must go now, because this room is full of rats and I'm currently being eaten alive.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44Good fry!
0:27:44 > 0:27:48E-mail us at subtitling@bbc.co.uk