Episode 5

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language

0:00:04 > 0:00:07- Have you been sharpening the screwdrivers again?- Yes.- Ah! A yo-yo.

0:00:07 > 0:00:09Where did you buy that? The 1990s?

0:00:09 > 0:00:15Ha ha ha(!) Yo-yos are coming back in and at least I have a hobby other than being sarcastic.

0:00:15 > 0:00:22- I wish I could do yo-yo tricks! - I can teach you.- Fantastic. Yo-yos get me really hard.- Me, too.

0:00:24 > 0:00:26Do you ever find that when...

0:00:26 > 0:00:32Very clever! Yeah, would you like a shot of sake with your sarcasm?

0:00:32 > 0:00:36Or will you spill it all over your sarky trousers?

0:00:36 > 0:00:38- Khaki.- I don't follow.

0:00:38 > 0:00:43You're a bore! All you ever do is be sarcastic and it's boring.

0:00:43 > 0:00:48Tom, if I was boring, then why in my school yearbook would I be voted Most Symmetrical Face?

0:00:48 > 0:00:52- I am not boring! - OK. Favourite food?

0:00:52 > 0:00:55- Rice.- Right. Favourite type of pudding?

0:00:55 > 0:00:58- Er, rice.- Rice pudding?- Just rice.

0:00:58 > 0:01:02- Oh, my God. Pick a topic of conversation.- Phone tariffs.

0:01:02 > 0:01:08- Ugh!- OK, fine - dreams!- That's even worse!- No, because the dream I had was a dream within a dream.

0:01:08 > 0:01:14And Jack from Titanic was there. And there was a snow section that went on a bit.

0:01:14 > 0:01:20Tom...that's just the plot of Inception. What did you really dream about?

0:01:21 > 0:01:22Rice.

0:01:22 > 0:01:28But I also had a dream about The One Show and Chris Hoy was there talking about fibre...

0:01:28 > 0:01:31This programme contains some strong language.

0:01:52 > 0:01:58Hello! Hello! Greetings, greetings, greetings, absorbers of comedy,

0:01:58 > 0:02:03both scripted and improvised. This is Live At The Electric! CHEERING

0:02:03 > 0:02:05Isn't it lovely?

0:02:05 > 0:02:09What doesn't come across on TV is it does smell of wee, but it's home.

0:02:09 > 0:02:13Tonight, my troupe of oddities are raring to go,

0:02:13 > 0:02:19honed character sketches going off in tangents so bizarre, you'll need to inject insulin in your eyes

0:02:19 > 0:02:25to deal with the Post-Modernism. We are the good type of sick. A little bit of sickness is good.

0:02:25 > 0:02:31I don't trust people and I don't think British people trust people that aren't a little bit sick.

0:02:31 > 0:02:35That is the British way. Americans sort of strive for perfection.

0:02:35 > 0:02:41We've got that disease a little bit. Plastic breasts, liposuction body, perfect body, perfect hair.

0:02:41 > 0:02:47There's something fake about that. We like the girl with the dodgy eye who brings us off by the dogshit bin.

0:02:47 > 0:02:54There's something more real about the girl next door with the real body, the teacup with the crack in it.

0:02:54 > 0:02:59This is why a lot of people are suspicious about the computers we use every day.

0:02:59 > 0:03:03PC users are very suspicious of Macs. It represents perfectionism.

0:03:03 > 0:03:09Macs - I don't trust 'em with their sleek, steel coating. They can't get a virus. It's not right.

0:03:09 > 0:03:16The more positive it is, the more British people hate it. That's why we stick our thumbs through jellies.

0:03:16 > 0:03:21Stick my thumb in the jelly! I don't know who did that. Weird.

0:03:21 > 0:03:28I'm so immature. I'm getting MORE immature. Why didn't our dads and uncles warn us? You liars!

0:03:28 > 0:03:34Coming into our rooms when you're 17 going, "This is as bad as it gets. I know you masturbate every day,

0:03:34 > 0:03:40"but it gets better." You liars! We become more pervy and more juvenile the older we get.

0:03:40 > 0:03:46It's horrible. I've hung on to it. I've always been juvenile. My poor brother was on the receiving end.

0:03:46 > 0:03:52Three years younger than me. The worst age gap, following me, join in everything I do.

0:03:52 > 0:03:57My mum made James join in all the games. One time there was justice.

0:03:57 > 0:04:03Those of you thinking of messing with drink and drugs forget the best free buzz - going red on purpose.

0:04:03 > 0:04:06Eh? How good was that?

0:04:07 > 0:04:12And then afterwards... "I think that was cut with something."

0:04:12 > 0:04:16I was a purpler. Any other purplers? I could go fully purple.

0:04:16 > 0:04:21"You'll injure yourself." "I'm OK, man! I'm going into the hole."

0:04:21 > 0:04:27That was my party trick. My neck goes all fat, veins in the head. I was the best at it.

0:04:27 > 0:04:32And here you are... My friends were staying over, my crew,

0:04:32 > 0:04:38having a wicked night. Some of us had done some Horlicks, half a rich tea. We were level buzzed, you know?

0:04:38 > 0:04:43And we're all stood round in the kitchen, in our pyjamas. I'm going...

0:04:43 > 0:04:47And my brother, the only person that can go red better than me,

0:04:47 > 0:04:51is walked in by my mum. "Let him join in." Wearing the same pyjamas as me.

0:04:51 > 0:04:58What goes through your head to put a smaller, less significant sibling in the same clothes, you sick fucks?

0:04:58 > 0:05:02Right, anyway... How undermining is that?

0:05:02 > 0:05:08Anyway, my brother goes, "I want to go red on purpose!" I knew I'd get rinsed by him.

0:05:08 > 0:05:14This is one of the best moments of justice in my childhood. "Watch this." And he went...

0:05:14 > 0:05:18..and shat himself! LAUGHTER

0:05:21 > 0:05:26And the reason I remember it so clearly, I'm sorry to be graphic,

0:05:26 > 0:05:32but just one Malteser poo rolled out...and he chased after it like he could change history.

0:05:35 > 0:05:40"Don't tell Dad!" Of course not. "Dad, there's shit under the fridge."

0:05:40 > 0:05:42APPLAUSE

0:05:42 > 0:05:47Now...this might have a really bad rating on the Glycaemic Index,

0:05:47 > 0:05:53but when it comes to comedy this is exactly what you're looking for. Two Episodes of MASH!

0:05:53 > 0:05:56CHEERING

0:06:23 > 0:06:25COINS IN A SLOT

0:06:26 > 0:06:29What are you doing?

0:06:29 > 0:06:31Buying some Johnnies.

0:06:31 > 0:06:33Why?

0:06:33 > 0:06:39I've been on one of these missions before and they can get well out of hand.

0:06:46 > 0:06:48CHEERING

0:06:48 > 0:06:52And now the only Spaniard to be banned from Pamplona

0:06:52 > 0:06:58because when he stands proud in his Speedos, the crowd don't know which "bulls" to look at!

0:06:58 > 0:07:00It's Antonio!

0:07:07 > 0:07:12Hold onto your titties! It's me, Antonio!

0:07:15 > 0:07:21Seduction expert, master lovemaker and disgraced massage therapist.

0:07:21 > 0:07:26Today's lesson: how to get rid of male competition.

0:07:26 > 0:07:29'Hands off, muchachos.'

0:07:29 > 0:07:35That's right. Every other guy is a potential threat to your lovemaking schedule.

0:07:35 > 0:07:38You're a threat, you're a threat.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40Ha ha ha! Please!

0:07:40 > 0:07:42LAUGHTER

0:07:44 > 0:07:47You see, I am a lover, not a fighter,

0:07:47 > 0:07:52although I do have a black belt in lovemaking. Hoo! Ha!

0:07:52 > 0:07:53Ohhh!

0:07:53 > 0:07:59But we must never, ever use violence. After all,

0:07:59 > 0:08:04- if your face is broken how can a woman sit on it? - LAUGHTER

0:08:06 > 0:08:11Take this happy, unsuspecting couple over here. Look at this guy.

0:08:11 > 0:08:18He's a loving, caring boyfriend. Exactly the kind of guy we need to get rid of!

0:08:18 > 0:08:22Now we ask him his name.

0:08:22 > 0:08:26- Hey, man. Tell me, what is your name?- Er, Mark.

0:08:26 > 0:08:30That's a cool name. Now instantly forget it!

0:08:30 > 0:08:32This will undermine him.

0:08:32 > 0:08:35So, Barry...

0:08:35 > 0:08:37LAUGHTER

0:08:38 > 0:08:41It's a pleasure to meet you.

0:08:41 > 0:08:47Step two: now we intimidate him with a lunge.

0:08:47 > 0:08:48So...

0:08:50 > 0:08:56Richard... tell me, what exactly do you do for a living?

0:08:56 > 0:09:01- I'm a...- No matter what he says, upstage him by wielding a sword!

0:09:06 > 0:09:09Finally, step three. OK?

0:09:09 > 0:09:15You tell him that you are leaving and then you show him the respect that he deserves.

0:09:15 > 0:09:19Hey, man. Stand up and put it there, huh?

0:09:19 > 0:09:21And...sleep.

0:09:23 > 0:09:26APPLAUSE

0:09:28 > 0:09:33And now we get rid of him. Juan Carlos! I've got another one.

0:09:33 > 0:09:38And so, just as rival stags lock horns,

0:09:38 > 0:09:42you must lock him in some kind of container for up to 6-8 hours.

0:09:42 > 0:09:45He's currently on his way to Madrid.

0:09:45 > 0:09:47TWO GUNSHOTS

0:09:47 > 0:09:49- Maybe not. - LAUGHTER

0:09:49 > 0:09:57Either way, I don't think he's coming back. Say hello to your new boyfriend...

0:09:57 > 0:09:58Unhh!

0:10:03 > 0:10:06Muchas gracias!

0:10:06 > 0:10:08Hit me. ..Oh!

0:10:08 > 0:10:11Hit me. ..Ow!

0:10:11 > 0:10:14Hit me harder. ..AAH!

0:10:14 > 0:10:17I need to get back to work.

0:10:17 > 0:10:21- OW! We've stopped playing! - Ooh! Sorr-ee!

0:10:21 > 0:10:25Stop messing around and pass me the scissors.

0:10:25 > 0:10:30- What are you doing?- I'm getting my special mug. I'm really parched.

0:10:30 > 0:10:33That was a stupid place to put it.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36Oh! Oh...

0:10:36 > 0:10:39Uh-oh. Lizzie, I'm stuck. Help me.

0:10:39 > 0:10:45- I can't. I'm busy doing all of the work.- But if you don't help me, I might never get down!

0:10:45 > 0:10:49I could be stuck up here... forever.

0:10:53 > 0:10:55WIND HOWLS

0:11:01 > 0:11:03Hello!

0:11:06 > 0:11:09Were you trying to get the, um...

0:11:09 > 0:11:11the...the, um...

0:11:11 > 0:11:15- I don't... - It's the Mug of Eternal Youth.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18Ah, right, yeah. I was.

0:11:18 > 0:11:24Is this, um, metamorphic or igneous rock?

0:11:25 > 0:11:27I'm not sure.

0:11:29 > 0:11:31Maybe it's glam rock!

0:11:33 > 0:11:36Or, um...shamrock.

0:11:36 > 0:11:40Or party f-rock. Fraggle Rock.

0:11:40 > 0:11:46- Rocky. Rocky II. Rocky III. Rocky IV. Rocky V. Did they do Rocky VI?- Will you...

0:11:46 > 0:11:51- I'm probably going to go. - No, don't!- See you.- Nooo!

0:11:51 > 0:11:55Nooooooooo!

0:11:55 > 0:11:58Have you finished?

0:11:58 > 0:12:01Nooooooooo!

0:12:05 > 0:12:10"Please, sir. Can I have some more?" All right. It's Two Episodes of MASH!

0:12:16 > 0:12:18CHEERING

0:12:18 > 0:12:20Hello!

0:12:20 > 0:12:25- I'm Joe. This is Diane.- Hello. - Don't have your packed lunch now.

0:12:25 > 0:12:28Have it on the bus home.

0:12:29 > 0:12:33New lunch box, in fairness. Go on, show them.

0:12:40 > 0:12:46- Can we continue?- Yeah.- Right. I've got to go off for the first one. Diane, sort the pictures out.

0:12:51 > 0:12:56- Can we, um... Oh, Joe! Someone's Skyping us!- Who is it?

0:12:56 > 0:13:00- It's your Auntie Doreen. - Oh, shit.- Hello!

0:13:00 > 0:13:05- Hello, Auntie Doreen. - You all right, love?- Yeah, thanks.

0:13:05 > 0:13:11- Just in the middle of something here.- I'm just calling about that rash on my hip.- Right.

0:13:11 > 0:13:16- It's on the mend.- OK. - It's much better.- Good. - It's much less flaky.

0:13:16 > 0:13:21- The doctor reckons I'm allergic. - Right.- To almonds.

0:13:21 > 0:13:27- OK. Sort of in the middle... - Sorry, love. You doing one of your little shows?- Yep.

0:13:28 > 0:13:33He's doing one of his shows. It'll be embarrassing.

0:13:34 > 0:13:37Let me just go and grab an Um Bongo.

0:13:40 > 0:13:43Quick, do it now. Do it now. Do it now.

0:13:46 > 0:13:50- Hurry up. She'll be...- I can't believe you had plastic surgery.

0:13:50 > 0:13:56- You know, new face for a new millennium.- That was 13 years ago.

0:13:56 > 0:13:57Yeah...

0:13:59 > 0:14:04- Well, let's get it off, have a look. - OK, I'm quite intrigued to see the results myself.

0:14:04 > 0:14:06- Nearly there.- Ah...

0:14:06 > 0:14:11- Oh, my God! You look exactly like me! - Ah, you've noticed.

0:14:11 > 0:14:18- Of course I have!- They said, "What do you want?" I was looking at your Facebook...- And copied my face?!

0:14:19 > 0:14:22This is weird!

0:14:22 > 0:14:24Can I have a look in the mirror?

0:14:27 > 0:14:29LAUGHTER

0:14:41 > 0:14:43- I like it.- I don't!

0:14:49 > 0:14:52- It's not just you I copied.- What?

0:14:52 > 0:14:54Have a look at these.

0:14:56 > 0:14:58- Recognise them?- No.

0:14:58 > 0:15:02They're the same as your cousin Wendy's.

0:15:02 > 0:15:04That's it.

0:15:04 > 0:15:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:15:13 > 0:15:14Is that it?

0:15:14 > 0:15:17- Yeah.- Oh.

0:15:17 > 0:15:21Yeah, it was...very good. Well done. We're proud of you.

0:15:21 > 0:15:24- And we'll speak to you later.- OK.

0:15:24 > 0:15:28- Right? Love you. - Love you.- Bye.- Bye.- Bye.

0:15:32 > 0:15:34Did you see that?

0:15:34 > 0:15:37What a pile of shit!

0:15:39 > 0:15:44It is embarrassing. I hope they're not going to put that on the telly.

0:15:44 > 0:15:49No wonder his mother's on anti-depressants.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51AUDIENCE "Awww!"

0:15:51 > 0:15:53All right!

0:15:54 > 0:15:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:16:05 > 0:16:08Hope I'm not in your way, Tom.

0:16:09 > 0:16:10Tom?

0:16:10 > 0:16:17- Sorry, I hadn't noticed you. - Did you know that the mayfly only lives for 24 hours?

0:16:17 > 0:16:22- Kind of reminds me of the way I live my life.- Because it's a fact as boring as you are?- No.

0:16:22 > 0:16:27Because I live each moment as if it's my last. Oh, by the way,

0:16:27 > 0:16:31do you know any good spots I could bang out a quick oil?

0:16:31 > 0:16:35- Methinks the muse is with me today. - No, sorry, I don't.

0:16:35 > 0:16:41- Cool. I'll get my charcoals, do some free sketches. - Have you been cooking in here?- Yeah.

0:16:41 > 0:16:46Baking my own bread. Like I usually do. Want a slice?

0:16:46 > 0:16:50- No, thanks. - Yeah, I'm not very hungry. I've been eating Ecstasy all day.

0:16:50 > 0:16:55- Which was exciting.- The sooner you accept you're boring, the better.

0:16:55 > 0:17:00Phil from Maintenance doesn't think I'm boring. I'm showing him my atlas collection this evening.

0:17:00 > 0:17:05Hi, guys. Just to let you know, Phil has killed himself.

0:17:05 > 0:17:07It's not to do with me.

0:17:07 > 0:17:11Oh, and, Tom, he said it was because of you.

0:17:14 > 0:17:20Right. I feel the need for a cultural trip to the edge of Yorkshire. It's Lucy Beaumont!

0:17:25 > 0:17:29Hello. I'm Lucy. I'm from Hull. SMALL CHEER

0:17:30 > 0:17:35If you don't know Hull, it's a lot different to other cities.

0:17:35 > 0:17:39Like you've got London that's just held the Olympics.

0:17:39 > 0:17:43And Hull has just held Zumba classes you can smoke in.

0:17:45 > 0:17:47I'd like to read you a poem now.

0:17:48 > 0:17:53This one is loosely based on my next-door neighbour.

0:17:53 > 0:17:55It's not bad.

0:17:58 > 0:17:59Syphilis.

0:18:03 > 0:18:05LAUGHTER

0:18:10 > 0:18:12Does anybody here write poetry?

0:18:12 > 0:18:14No.

0:18:14 > 0:18:20My friend got married in October and she said, "Would you write one and read it out at the ceremony?"

0:18:20 > 0:18:28And I said, "Yeah, I will." And when I found out I wasn't bridesmaid, I changed it a bit.

0:18:29 > 0:18:33I called it Nobody Talks About Heroin At Weddings.

0:18:33 > 0:18:36And the end of it went...

0:18:37 > 0:18:41There are people dying Wars being fought

0:18:41 > 0:18:44Families being torn apart

0:18:44 > 0:18:48You just enjoy yourselves. LAUGHTER

0:18:53 > 0:18:59It didn't go down very well, actually. But I heard about this other wedding. 18 grand it cost.

0:18:59 > 0:19:04And they was meant to have a firework display outside at the end.

0:19:04 > 0:19:08It was meant to say in big letters, "Dave loves Cass!" Like that.

0:19:08 > 0:19:12But the C didn't light up. LAUGHTER

0:19:14 > 0:19:17I know. And he's a bit camp as well.

0:19:20 > 0:19:22Syphilis.

0:19:22 > 0:19:27Janice was shocked to hear that she had camel toe.

0:19:29 > 0:19:33Well, she weren't that shocked cos she was going dogging later.

0:19:37 > 0:19:39Thank you.

0:19:52 > 0:19:56- Jones, shouldn't the headmaster be back by now?- Back?

0:19:56 > 0:19:59- From where?- The Year Nine farm trip.

0:20:00 > 0:20:05The farm trip, Jones! You did the risk assessment for it.

0:20:12 > 0:20:14Yes...

0:20:14 > 0:20:19- Well, if it isn't Simon and Garfuckyourselves. - Morning, Headmaster.

0:20:19 > 0:20:22Christ! What's that smell?

0:20:22 > 0:20:28That would be shit. I had a fight with a horse. I won, but it did shit on me.

0:20:28 > 0:20:32Anyway, I've got some rather exciting news, people.

0:20:32 > 0:20:35I've bought us a piglet.

0:20:35 > 0:20:41- You bought a pig?!- Bought, stole. The main thing is I've got one.

0:20:41 > 0:20:47- We cannot have a pig in school. Do you know what pigs eat? - Yes - bacon.

0:20:47 > 0:20:54- Where's it going to sleep? - In the corner with Jones.- But that was a reward for my hard work!

0:20:54 > 0:20:57In your basket, Jones!

0:20:58 > 0:21:04- Sir, you haven't thought this through.- Haven't? Haven't? More like have.

0:21:04 > 0:21:08- It's a Health and Safety nightmare. - It might grow antlers. Or a gun!

0:21:08 > 0:21:13- You have to return it! - I'm not going back to Shitbury farm! - This is so typical of you!

0:21:13 > 0:21:19- No, YOU shut up! - You think you can swan in here... - Swan? It's a pig.- Exactly!

0:21:19 > 0:21:23- If I want to bring a pig... - THEY ALL YELL

0:21:23 > 0:21:25I am the bloody headmaster!

0:21:25 > 0:21:28All right, fine!

0:21:44 > 0:21:48Sir, this is just a school packed lunch.

0:21:48 > 0:21:51- What?! - It's just a packed lunch.

0:21:51 > 0:21:56But if this isn't the piglet, then where...

0:21:59 > 0:22:01Dmitri!

0:22:01 > 0:22:07Oh, my God! I think I'm going to be sick! I've just eaten a piglet!

0:22:14 > 0:22:20Next up, a man so French he bleeds Beaujolais, sweats Brie and breathes pure Gauloises.

0:22:20 > 0:22:23And, of course, he shits... on the women in his life.

0:22:23 > 0:22:26It's Marcel Lucont!

0:22:35 > 0:22:36Ah.

0:22:36 > 0:22:39British television.

0:22:39 > 0:22:42Like a one-night stand to me,

0:22:42 > 0:22:46I may be on you, but this does not mean I respect you.

0:22:46 > 0:22:49LAUGHTER

0:22:51 > 0:22:55For some time I have observed UK television.

0:22:55 > 0:23:01I see you cannot resist a show if there is somebody mentally or socially subnormal

0:23:01 > 0:23:05being humiliated in some way or other.

0:23:05 > 0:23:10So with this in mind I have some suggestions of my own

0:23:10 > 0:23:17which I hope to get made into TV. I am sure you will see them all soon on your screen.

0:23:21 > 0:23:26Number one. How Shit Is Your Life?

0:23:27 > 0:23:34Contestants must nominate the strongest-willed person they know from their group of friendship

0:23:34 > 0:23:40who is then visited by a team of experts who criticise everything in their life

0:23:40 > 0:23:46and eventually break them down and force them to conclude everything in their life is actually shit.

0:23:49 > 0:23:53Number two: I Am A Claustrophobic, Get Me Out Of Here.

0:23:53 > 0:23:55LAUGHTER

0:23:55 > 0:23:58Quite self-explanatory.

0:24:00 > 0:24:02Number three:

0:24:02 > 0:24:05Drag Queens' Den.

0:24:07 > 0:24:12Eager, yet misguided entrepreneurs will announce business proposals

0:24:12 > 0:24:16to a table of bitchy and sarcastic drag queens

0:24:16 > 0:24:21who will ignore most of their words and instead comment in a snide way

0:24:21 > 0:24:27about the contestants' shoe and jacket combination, hairstyle and general demeanour.

0:24:27 > 0:24:32There will be absolutely no intention to commission a single idea.

0:24:33 > 0:24:35Number four:

0:24:35 > 0:24:39Veal Or No Meal.

0:24:39 > 0:24:41LAUGHTER

0:24:47 > 0:24:50Vegan contestants are... LAUGHTER

0:24:51 > 0:24:56..transported to remote, desolate areas of the world -

0:24:56 > 0:24:59Arizona, Antarctica...

0:24:59 > 0:25:01Hull -

0:25:02 > 0:25:10and starved for one day. They are then presented with an array of boxes which they can choose to open.

0:25:10 > 0:25:16It soon becomes obvious that every single box contains veal. LAUGHTER

0:25:16 > 0:25:20A banker will call and offer more veal.

0:25:20 > 0:25:28Contestants must question their principles and decide... veal or no meal.

0:25:29 > 0:25:32And, finally,

0:25:32 > 0:25:35Zidane, You Are Rocking The Boat.

0:25:38 > 0:25:44Seven contestants are placed on a boat which they are told to row across the Channel.

0:25:44 > 0:25:47Also on this boat is Zinedine Zidane

0:25:47 > 0:25:52who will occasionally, and without warning, rock the vessel from side to side

0:25:52 > 0:25:55to try to displace the crew members.

0:25:55 > 0:26:02Contestants are allowed one attempt each to politely ask Zidane to stop.

0:26:02 > 0:26:07If a further attempt is made by the rower, the ex-captain of France is allowed instead

0:26:07 > 0:26:11to head-butt the person into the water.

0:26:13 > 0:26:18If you do not like a single idea, why not combine these shows

0:26:18 > 0:26:24to create I Am A Shit, Watch Drag Queens Throw Veal At Me From A Boat?

0:26:26 > 0:26:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:38 > 0:26:41Marcel Lucont!

0:26:41 > 0:26:48Now if you're looking for more stimulating clips, there's an extra squirt to be found at:

0:26:49 > 0:26:53From me and all my little forks of enlightening lightning, goodbye!

0:26:53 > 0:26:55CHEERING

0:26:57 > 0:27:05Ladies and gentlemen of Live At The Electric backstage, welcome to my famous exciting show!

0:27:06 > 0:27:12Many of you may recognise me as the guy who makes his own bread or the guy who likes art...

0:27:12 > 0:27:15- Who is this guy?- No idea.

0:27:15 > 0:27:19Stop talking! But after today you will forever remember me

0:27:19 > 0:27:26as the exciting nutter and complete legend who jumped from the balcony into the paddling pool

0:27:26 > 0:27:31wearing nothing but a silly, hilarious sumo suit.

0:27:31 > 0:27:35Those of you who are faint of heart look away now.

0:27:35 > 0:27:40- That guy's got a yo-yo. - Yeah, will you look at that!

0:27:40 > 0:27:42CHEERING

0:27:55 > 0:27:57I did it!

0:27:57 > 0:27:58Guys...

0:27:58 > 0:28:01Sorry. Didn't see you there.

0:28:02 > 0:28:03Wow.

0:28:26 > 0:28:28Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd