0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language
0:00:04 > 0:00:05Gary Duffy, how are you?
0:00:05 > 0:00:08If this paper were in trouble, which it's not,
0:00:08 > 0:00:10this story would really dig us out of a hole.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12- I love you, mate. - I love you too, mate.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18After a series of complaints,
0:00:18 > 0:00:20the courts ordered the man in the flat above Alex
0:00:20 > 0:00:25to urinate on the side of the toilet bowl instead of directly into it.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27As a result, Alex had just enjoyed his first night
0:00:27 > 0:00:30of uninterrupted sleep in months.
0:00:30 > 0:00:31'Hello?'
0:00:31 > 0:00:35Mate. I thought you should know, it is stunning down here.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37'I have no doubt about that.'
0:00:37 > 0:00:38You should come down.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40No, I don't think so, mate.
0:00:40 > 0:00:41Why not?
0:00:41 > 0:00:42I just need a bit of me time.
0:00:42 > 0:00:43Me time?
0:00:43 > 0:00:46You're the one who said I should be more independent.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49A self-actualised human being doesn't need to be alone to be independent.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52What about if I want to walk around the house naked?
0:00:52 > 0:00:54You're not naked now, are you?
0:00:54 > 0:00:55No.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Just don't sit on anything.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Yeah, all right!
0:01:00 > 0:01:01Jesus!
0:01:01 > 0:01:02What's happened?
0:01:02 > 0:01:04I'll call you back.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22# The wintergreen, the juniper
0:01:22 > 0:01:27# The cornflower and the chicory
0:01:27 > 0:01:30# All the words you said to me
0:01:30 > 0:01:34# Are still vibrating in the air
0:01:34 > 0:01:38# The elm, the ash And the linden tree
0:01:38 > 0:01:42# The dark and deep enchanted sea
0:01:42 > 0:01:46# The trembling moon and the stars unfurled
0:01:46 > 0:01:50# Well there she goes My beautiful world
0:01:50 > 0:01:54# There she goes my beautiful world
0:01:54 > 0:01:57# There she goes my beautiful world
0:01:57 > 0:02:02# There she goes my beautiful world
0:02:02 > 0:02:05- # There she goes again.- #
0:02:09 > 0:02:11KNOCK AT DOOR
0:02:16 > 0:02:17ALARM RINGS
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Just press the button on the wall.
0:02:23 > 0:02:24What's going on?
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Can't be too careful. I'm not the most loved person in the building.
0:02:27 > 0:02:28No, I guess not.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Why, what are they saying?
0:02:30 > 0:02:32- Nothing. - Why did you agree with me, then?
0:02:32 > 0:02:35I wasn't thinking.
0:02:35 > 0:02:36Got a splash for me?
0:02:36 > 0:02:39I found a dead body this morning.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41That's the best news I've heard all week!
0:02:41 > 0:02:43I was jogging by the Yarra. Do you want to see the picture?
0:02:43 > 0:02:45- Bob's?- No, I used my phone.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Lo-fi, better. More real.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50Yeah. I'll send it to Timmy, see how it blows up.
0:02:50 > 0:02:51I've never seen a dead body before.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54I thought you were with your dad when he died.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57I got there and the nurses said he had half an hour to go.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59I couldn't be away from the paper that long.
0:03:00 > 0:03:05Police are thinking gangland hit, possibly Tony Marino.
0:03:05 > 0:03:06Great! Anyone else got it?
0:03:06 > 0:03:09- Just us!- Thank God it's Saturday!
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Finally we get to beat the dailies!
0:03:11 > 0:03:12I know!
0:03:12 > 0:03:16You were jogging, right? I'm thinking "The Quick And The Dead."
0:03:16 > 0:03:18- "Dead In The Water." - "Dead Man Floating."
0:03:18 > 0:03:19"I See Dead People."
0:03:19 > 0:03:23I'm Salieri to your Mozart, even if it kills me to admit it.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Thanks, boss.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27The editor secretly didn't like Mozart.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30It wasn't the music, it was more a pre-emptive thing.
0:03:30 > 0:03:34If they'd ever have met, he didn't think Mozart would've liked him.
0:03:34 > 0:03:39This guy was 35. There's not many people my age that die.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41And my age.
0:03:41 > 0:03:42It happens to everyone.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46Yeah, but when you are really old. You've done everything you wanted to.
0:03:46 > 0:03:47And you don't mind dying.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Show me your hand.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Well, you've got a long lifeline, so there's nothing to worry about.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Show me your right?
0:03:56 > 0:03:58- Oh.- What?
0:03:58 > 0:04:01There's a break in your lifeline.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03What does that mean? It's not broken in my left hand.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06Yeah, but your left hand is what you're born with,
0:04:06 > 0:04:08your right is what you make of it.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11So I've done something to bring about my premature death?
0:04:11 > 0:04:12I guess so.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15Don't worry, my lifeline just stops in the middle of my hand.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17What are you cooking anyway?
0:04:17 > 0:04:19I'm not cooking, I'm burning your clothes.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- What?!- It's just your gym clothes. They stank.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24I reckon I could smell that dead body on it.
0:04:24 > 0:04:25They were brand-new!
0:04:25 > 0:04:27- Hey, another 35-year-old died. - Who died?
0:04:27 > 0:04:30Zac Proctor. One of the Life In A Bubble housemates.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34"35-year-old reality star died today after suffering a severe
0:04:34 > 0:04:37"anaphylactic reaction to a peanut."
0:04:37 > 0:04:40These things always happen in threes.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42What things?
0:04:42 > 0:04:43Deaths, mate, they come in threes.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46I wouldn't want to be 35 right now.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49How old am I when my lifeline breaks?
0:04:49 > 0:04:51I don't know, it's not an exact science!
0:04:51 > 0:04:55Mate, you can't be scared of death all your life.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59When it eventually comes, you should accept it not as an end,
0:04:59 > 0:05:02but as a beginning, like a threshold into a new dimension.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08There were only three things Alex was scared off.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Death, pain and Bob getting in touch with his spiritual side.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Are you following me?
0:06:19 > 0:06:21The boss wants to see you.
0:06:21 > 0:06:22What boss?
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Ring any bells?
0:06:28 > 0:06:30The peanut guy?
0:06:30 > 0:06:33No, not the peanut guy, above that.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35That's just my article on the dead body.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38In which you mention Mr Tony Marino.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Only in passing - I didn't say he had anything to do with the murder.
0:06:41 > 0:06:45You talk about it being a gang hit, then you say, and I quote...
0:06:47 > 0:06:51"Meanwhile, gangland leader Tony Marino is still at large."
0:06:51 > 0:06:56Look, the subs must have done that. We can call him and I can apologise.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58It's not going to be that easy.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02He wants to meet with you. Eyeball to eyeball.
0:07:02 > 0:07:07Then you're going to write another article to set the record straight.
0:07:10 > 0:07:11I'll have to bring my photographer.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Be back here in 20 minutes.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19I thought I'd bring my lucky TARDIS.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24This is what you wear to meet underworld royalty, is it?
0:07:24 > 0:07:26It's my washing day.
0:07:26 > 0:07:31The thing about the peanut guy was he'd never had an allergic reaction before.
0:07:31 > 0:07:32Amazing.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35Then one day, has a peanut - bang.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38He's alive, eating a peanut.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Then nothingness.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43Makes you think.
0:07:43 > 0:07:44Yeah.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06A mate of a mate's girlfriend had a nut allergy,
0:08:06 > 0:08:10goes to an Indian restaurant, dips a bit of roti into the lamb curry,
0:08:10 > 0:08:12eats that roti, dead within minutes.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14- Bullshit!- No bullshit.
0:08:14 > 0:08:15Peanuts in the curry.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- You know Michelle Baxter?- Yeah.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21Her cousin went into an anaphylactic shock after kissing her boyfriend,
0:08:21 > 0:08:25who'd eaten a peanut butter sandwich nine hours before!
0:08:25 > 0:08:27- Bullshit!- No bullshit.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30A mate of mine's mate, allergic to nuts,
0:08:30 > 0:08:32goes to one of these restaurants
0:08:32 > 0:08:36where you've got to go through the kitchen to get to the gents,
0:08:36 > 0:08:38so he's walking through the kitchen...
0:08:38 > 0:08:40- Oh, no!- Oh, no!
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Unbeknownst to him, inhales nut fragments,
0:08:43 > 0:08:46collapses, dies on the way to the hospital.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48- Bullshit!- Bullshit!- No bullshit.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09Better warn you, when you meet Tony, do not mention his hair.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12It's not what it used to be.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18Do you have a sense of where we might be?
0:09:18 > 0:09:20I reckon it was about a 20-minute drive.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22North? Would you say north?
0:09:22 > 0:09:23Either that or south.
0:09:23 > 0:09:27I reckon it was north-west because I was in the driver's side,
0:09:27 > 0:09:30and the sun was hitting me on the right-hand side of the forehead.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34It was about 10 o'clock, so I reckon... Yeah, north-west.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37Strange. Cos I thought I could feel the sun too
0:09:37 > 0:09:40and I was on the passenger side,
0:09:40 > 0:09:43which would mean we were heading north-east.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Or possibly south-west.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47That doesn't make sense, mate.
0:09:47 > 0:09:52- CHICAGO ACCENT:- You come to me and you say, "Don Corleone, that doesn't make sense,
0:09:52 > 0:09:54"but you don't say it with respect.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56"You don't even think to call me Godfather."
0:09:56 > 0:09:58- That is very good. - Not as good as your Tony Greig.
0:09:58 > 0:10:02IMPERSONATES TONY GREIG: It's a pretty hard impersonation to do,
0:10:02 > 0:10:04but I feel I'm starting to crack it.
0:10:06 > 0:10:10You do realise one of us is going to die today, don't you?
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Rule of three, mate.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17- Mr Marino.- Please, sit down.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20I'm Alex and this is our photographer, Bob.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22And this is Micky, hmmm.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24I don't want to tell you how to do your job, boys,
0:10:24 > 0:10:28but maybe later on you can get a photo of us together for your article.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30That's a great idea. Bob?
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Excellent idea.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34You like chocolate?
0:10:36 > 0:10:37Thanks.
0:10:37 > 0:10:41You brought great pain to me, Alex.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43You make me out to be a murderer.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45That was certainly not my intention.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48It just said, "Meanwhile, in other gang-related news,
0:10:48 > 0:10:51"Tony Marino is still at large," which you are.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54It's the phrase "at large" I have a problem with.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56It implies I should be in jail.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59No, in journalism, when we say an editor's at large,
0:10:59 > 0:11:01it just means he's not in his office.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03But I'm not an editor, am I?
0:11:03 > 0:11:05That's a really good point.
0:11:05 > 0:11:09You've got to understand, I didn't do the things I've been accused of.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13That would be three counts of trafficking and two counts of murder?
0:11:14 > 0:11:18If you're not guilty, why don't you just face the judicial system?
0:11:21 > 0:11:23How can I get a fair trial?
0:11:23 > 0:11:25When you've already found me guilty?
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Not at all.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29These chocolate peanuts are very nice.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32They're Belgian. We've got a supply.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Alex.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36We can forget about the whole thing.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40You write a story that shows me as I am -
0:11:40 > 0:11:44a legitimate businessman... and dog lover.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47But I'm going to have to ask you the tough questions
0:11:47 > 0:11:49or we're both going to look bad.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Anything you want.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Are you OK?
0:11:53 > 0:11:58OK, did you have anything to do with the murder of Ricardo Stone,
0:11:58 > 0:12:00whose body was found by the Yarra...
0:12:00 > 0:12:03WHEEZING
0:12:03 > 0:12:06..last Saturday...morning?
0:12:06 > 0:12:08No.
0:12:08 > 0:12:12- Mate, do you want a glass of water or something?- Next question.
0:12:12 > 0:12:18Have you ever been involved in... (WHEEZES) ..drug trafficking?
0:12:18 > 0:12:19No.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Then how did you get your reputation as a...
0:12:22 > 0:12:24WHEEZING AND COUGHING
0:12:24 > 0:12:25As a...
0:12:30 > 0:12:31Doctor.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32Doctor!
0:12:32 > 0:12:34WHEEZING
0:12:48 > 0:12:51WHEEZING
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Are you all right?
0:12:55 > 0:12:58HE FALLS
0:12:58 > 0:12:59Dr James!
0:13:02 > 0:13:04- It's Alex.- Bloody hell. Jesus.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08All right. Hang in there, buddy.
0:13:12 > 0:13:16All right, Alex. I need you to tell me what happened.
0:13:16 > 0:13:17P... P...
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Pain? Are you in pain, mate?
0:13:19 > 0:13:21P... P...
0:13:21 > 0:13:23P... P... Peritonitis?
0:13:23 > 0:13:26P... Pe...
0:13:26 > 0:13:29You haven't done something to your penis again?
0:13:30 > 0:13:31Peanut.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Alex. Alex!
0:13:48 > 0:13:50BELL RINGS
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Just press the button on the wall.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04- What's with the alarm? - Can't be too careful.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07I'm not exactly the most loved person in the universe.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10- No, I guess not.- Why? What are they saying about me?- Nothing.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12- Why did you agree with me, then? - I wasn't thinking.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19- Welcome to Paradise, Alex.- Right.
0:14:19 > 0:14:23So is that it? I'll never open the bowling for Australia?
0:14:23 > 0:14:27Nor will you play centre half-forward for Carlton.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29But there's so much more I wanted to write.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33- No, actually, you wrote enough. - I wanted to write...- In fact, you probably wrote too much.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36OK, so what happens now?
0:14:36 > 0:14:40Well, you can become an angel, fly around guarding people.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Oh, yeah?
0:14:42 > 0:14:44Or you can be reincarnated.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46- Do I get to pick who I can be?- No.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50- Or you can hang out with me for eternity.- Right.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52What was the first one again?
0:14:54 > 0:14:59- Alex, I can see you're not ready for eternal happiness.- Really?
0:14:59 > 0:15:00Ow, that hurt!
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Alex. Alex! That's it. Come on, mate.
0:15:06 > 0:15:07Hey!
0:15:09 > 0:15:10What happened?
0:15:10 > 0:15:15Well, you had a psychosomatic anaphylactic reaction to a peanut.
0:15:15 > 0:15:16Psychosomatic?
0:15:18 > 0:15:20But I still nearly died, right?
0:15:20 > 0:15:23- Well, you thought you did. - No, no, no, no, I did.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26And if I'd been a bit more enthusiastic about it,
0:15:26 > 0:15:27I'd still be dead.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30- It can happen just like that. - Indeed it can.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32I tell you what, from now on,
0:15:32 > 0:15:35I want to make the most of every precious moment.
0:15:35 > 0:15:36Good for you.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44'Alex would spend the next 25 minutes
0:15:44 > 0:15:46'trying to make the most of every precious moment.
0:15:46 > 0:15:50'Then, failing to find an activity which would sufficiently fill that brief,
0:15:50 > 0:15:52'he decided to go back to work.'
0:15:57 > 0:16:00'Hi! You've phoned Bob Geraghty of the Sunday Sun.
0:16:00 > 0:16:04'Please leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!'
0:16:04 > 0:16:05BEEP
0:16:15 > 0:16:17- Susan, you haven't seen Bob, have you?- I thought he was with you.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20No, no, we got separated. Either of you guys seen Bob?
0:16:20 > 0:16:23- No.- Janine, has Bob come by?
0:16:23 > 0:16:27- No. Have you got those petty cash receipts?- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30- Satish, have you seen Bob? - No. Our paths rarely cross.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35- Oh, sorry.- No worries. Can you come back in 15?
0:16:35 > 0:16:37No, I'm all right.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39OK.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44'Hi, you've phoned Bob Geraghty of the Sunday Sun. Please...'
0:16:44 > 0:16:49- Bob hasn't come back from that Marino job.- You left him there?- I had to.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50Oh, you must feel like shit.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58KNOCKS ON DOOR
0:17:00 > 0:17:02BELL RINGS
0:17:03 > 0:17:06- How'd you go?- OK. - Bob gets some good snaps?
0:17:06 > 0:17:09- I don't know, I had to leave early. - What, you left Bob with him?
0:17:09 > 0:17:13Yeah, I'm a bit worried, he's got his phone off and he never has his phone off.
0:17:13 > 0:17:14Even when it should be off.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17I hope his mouth didn't get him into trouble. Where are they?
0:17:17 > 0:17:18I don't know, I was blindfolded.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22- Did you agree to the blindfold? - No, they kind of forced them on us.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25- So you were kidnapped?- Well, we did agree to the interview, so...
0:17:25 > 0:17:26This is great!
0:17:26 > 0:17:30- Kidnapped! And now they've got Bob. - I should never have taken him.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33So a nice, easy 1,500 words on the whole debacle.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Bob even said, "One of us is going to die."
0:17:35 > 0:17:37I'm thinking, "Mob's Got My Bob."
0:17:37 > 0:17:40- But why would they take him? - Mob's Got My Bob it is, then.
0:17:40 > 0:17:44I thought you would try to top me, but no. I'm on the way back.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46'Alex did not relish the prospect of writing
0:17:46 > 0:17:49'a story about his friend's possible abduction.
0:17:49 > 0:17:53'Though he did think Mob's Got My Bob had a certain ring to it.'
0:17:53 > 0:17:56OK, sergeant, I reckon this is our only chance of finding him.
0:17:56 > 0:17:57It's highly irregular.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Just keep going straight ahead.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07This is good, I can feel the sun on my forehead.
0:18:09 > 0:18:10Do you mind going a bit faster?
0:18:10 > 0:18:13You're going too slow and I think it's buggering up my antenna.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15OK, bear right.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18There's no bearing right, you either have to turn right or go straight ahead.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20All right, turn right.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Just keep going.
0:18:28 > 0:18:33The sounds and smells are very familiar to me. Very familiar.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35- Really?- Next left.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Uh-huh.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42Uh-huh. OK, I think we're just about here.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Stop. Stop here.
0:18:47 > 0:18:51- Shit!- This the place? - I think it might be.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Yeah. This is it.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20- Recognise this?- It's Bob's. He's a massive Doctor Who fan.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27I think we should alert the public. What was he wearing?
0:19:28 > 0:19:33Pale green pants and a faded red T-shirt with a humorous slogan on it.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35"I'm with stupid?"
0:19:35 > 0:19:37It was his washing day.
0:19:41 > 0:19:42Bob?
0:19:54 > 0:19:55Hey, mate.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Off break. Off break.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Bowled him!
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Burchill's a genius!
0:20:10 > 0:20:13THEY GRUNT
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Night, Alex.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30(Night, mate.)
0:20:32 > 0:20:34It has been believed since the 5th century BC,
0:20:34 > 0:20:36when Parmenides first observed it,
0:20:36 > 0:20:38that nature abhors a vacuum.
0:20:39 > 0:20:43And as far as Alex was concerned, he did too.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47Right, a married celebrity has just spent the night with Paris Hilton.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50They come out to the balcony of their hotel room to have a cigarette.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52- Do you photograph them?- No.- Why not?
0:20:52 > 0:20:55There shouldn't be any surveillance of private activities
0:20:55 > 0:20:57in a building without consent of those involved.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59But it's a balcony, so technically, it's outside.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03Well, technically, but still inside the parameters of the building.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06Isn't the fourth estate's job to uncover corruption
0:21:06 > 0:21:08- wherever it takes place? - But where do you draw the line?
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Do you want me to stick my camera under a toilet cubicle
0:21:10 > 0:21:14to bust Sonny Bill Williams and Candice Falzon going at it?
0:21:17 > 0:21:21DOOR KNOCKS
0:21:21 > 0:21:23I don't suppose there's any news?
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Sorry, mate. How d'you go with the photographers?
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Look, they've all got principles.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Oh, dear, it takes a long time to unteach principles.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32I just wish I'd never taken Bob on that job.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34You can never tell which jobs are going to get you killed.
0:21:34 > 0:21:38- You can make an educated guess. - You CAN make an educated guess, yes.
0:21:38 > 0:21:39DOOR KNOCKED SWIFTLY
0:21:39 > 0:21:42Hi, I was looking for Alex Burch... There you are!
0:21:42 > 0:21:46- I recognise you from your photo byline.- Hi!- Sorry I'm late.
0:21:46 > 0:21:50Hey, do you guys want to buy this pic I just got?
0:21:50 > 0:21:53A food delivery guy, picking up a chicken fillet with bare hands.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55- No gloves?- No.
0:21:55 > 0:21:56- Did he give permission?- Course not.
0:21:56 > 0:22:00I attached a hidden camera to the inside of his truck.
0:22:00 > 0:22:01Bingo!
0:22:02 > 0:22:07Sorry that these aren't the best circumstances to take on a new job.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10Don't worry about it. I'm here for you.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13I've got to go home and write the most difficult story of my life.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Have you eaten?
0:22:15 > 0:22:18Bob used to do the cooking.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Alex's article on Bob
0:22:20 > 0:22:23and the Marino gang was the most talked-about story of the year.
0:22:23 > 0:22:27The sales spike reprieved the paper from the unthinkable -
0:22:27 > 0:22:30a merger with the Sunday Argus, a newspaper where the reporters
0:22:30 > 0:22:33wore cufflinks and had share portfolios.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35What's more, it had a strong online presence,
0:22:35 > 0:22:38which Sunday Sun staffers thought was a bit gay.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41Look, I just used what was in the fridge and I've whipped up a herb
0:22:41 > 0:22:44marinated chicken with garlic and green peppercorns.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48And I hope you don't mind, but I used up the last of the chardonnay, too.
0:22:48 > 0:22:49Wow!
0:22:51 > 0:22:54Mmm!
0:22:54 > 0:22:58It's almost as good as Bob's! That says something because he's a...
0:22:58 > 0:23:01WAS a cordon bleu.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12Burchill off his long run.
0:23:12 > 0:23:13Short length.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18Bowled him. Burchill's a genius!
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Hey, hey, hey, hey, that's enough!
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Come here!
0:23:22 > 0:23:23THEY GRUNT
0:23:23 > 0:23:26Night, Alex!
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Night, Janet.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37This was a time of healing for Alex, as one chapter of his life closed
0:23:37 > 0:23:40and a new and exciting one began.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44The thing about jogging round here's that sometimes you find the odd dead body.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47- Really? How many dead bodies have you seen?- One. But still.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50- That would have been such a shock for you.- Yeah, I was by myself, too.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53Bob was attempting a bit of a spiritual rebirth at the time
0:23:53 > 0:23:55- and decided not to come.- Oh, no.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58Just lying there, you know,
0:23:58 > 0:24:01like a cold lump of lard.
0:24:01 > 0:24:02I read the story.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04It was a beautiful depiction.
0:24:04 > 0:24:08- Only topped, of course, by what you wrote yesterday.- Thanks.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10I'll never forget him.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12I loved him, you know.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Although sometimes he could be a bit selfish.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16MUFFLED SHRIEKING
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Did you hear that?
0:24:18 > 0:24:21- What?- Some sort of groan?
0:24:21 > 0:24:25Mate, one thing you have to know is I get freaked out really easily.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27- OK?- Probably wasn't anything.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29MUFFLED MOANING
0:24:29 > 0:24:32STRANGLED SPEECH
0:24:35 > 0:24:38MUFFLED MOAN
0:24:38 > 0:24:39Bob?
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Bob!
0:24:42 > 0:24:46- Oh, Janet, Bob, Bob, Janet. - Hi, Bob, I'm Janet.
0:24:46 > 0:24:47Massive fan of your work.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48MUFFLED THANKS
0:24:48 > 0:24:50So good to see you! What the fuck happened?
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Well...
0:24:53 > 0:24:55It was all going magnificently,
0:24:55 > 0:24:58and then I suggested Tony pay a visit to Hi-Tech Hair Solutions.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01They specifically said, "Don't mention the hair."
0:25:01 > 0:25:03I thought if you look better from the outside,
0:25:03 > 0:25:05you'll feel better on the inside.
0:25:05 > 0:25:09Anyway, next thing I know, I'm tied up and taken down here.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11- They didn't kill you. - That's the thing.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13I did my Don Corleone and the big guy loved it.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16- Said he couldn't possibly shoot me. - Mate, that's an amazing story.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Wait till this comes out!
0:25:19 > 0:25:22Though the paper doesn't go to press till Saturday night
0:25:22 > 0:25:24so the boss'll want to keep you dead for a few more days.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28- Sure.- You won't want the dailies getting hold of this.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Ten days later, and Janet had got a job at the Argus
0:25:33 > 0:25:36while life had returned to normal for Alex and Bob.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39- Superb couscous, mate. - My pleasure.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42- TV:- 'When is a dead photographer not dead?
0:25:42 > 0:25:44'Apparently, when he works for the Sunday Sun.'
0:25:44 > 0:25:47Sunday Sun editor Howard Evans
0:25:47 > 0:25:50recently carved out a new low at the tabloid
0:25:50 > 0:25:54when he pronounced photographer Bob Geraghty was dead a week
0:25:54 > 0:25:57and a half ago, after he failed to return from an assignment.
0:25:57 > 0:26:01Full Disclosure has obtained images revealing Geraghty was, in fact,
0:26:01 > 0:26:06very much alive and apparently, quite well.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10Can you believe that? Janet has absolutely no scruples whatsoever.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13Well, Mr Evans, I don't know how long the Sunday Sun can survive,
0:26:13 > 0:26:16but I suggest that you, together with your puff columnist
0:26:16 > 0:26:20Alex Burchill, just drove a nail into your own coffin.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23- Puff columnist?- That's a bit harsh.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26Yes, I thought so, too.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd