0:00:02 > 0:00:04Jogging around here, sometimes you find a dead body.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07ALARM RINGS How'd you go?
0:00:07 > 0:00:09'When is a dead photographer not dead?
0:00:09 > 0:00:12'Apparently when he works for the Sunday Sun.'
0:00:12 > 0:00:14Janet, Bob. Bob, Janet.
0:00:14 > 0:00:18'Well, Mr Evans, I don't know how long the Sunday Sun can survive,
0:00:18 > 0:00:21'but I suggest that you just drove a nail into your own coffin.'
0:00:24 > 0:00:28A reputation as an enigmatic recluse can take years to build.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31And it can be destroyed in an instant.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35..with great prose, a category very close to my own heart,
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Best Newspaper Feature Writing.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
0:00:39 > 0:00:40Here we go.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42SHOCKED GASPS
0:00:43 > 0:00:47You pour your buckets of unsubstantiated...
0:00:47 > 0:00:51I'm doing it for the battlers. You ought to just shut up!
0:00:51 > 0:00:54LAUGHTER AND CAMERAS CLICK
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Yeah, all right.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01And on behalf of the...uh...
0:01:01 > 0:01:04the board of Sun Newspapers Limited,
0:01:04 > 0:01:07that was the former editor of the Sunday Sun.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09THEY LAUGH
0:01:09 > 0:01:12Shh! He's coming. He's coming. Come on, come on.
0:01:17 > 0:01:18You packed?
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Everything except my clothes.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Rodney Page?
0:01:25 > 0:01:27TANNOY: 'Alex Burchill.'
0:01:27 > 0:01:28KNOCKS ON DOOR
0:01:31 > 0:01:34- How many hits has it got? - About 72,000.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38Amazing. That's 30,000 more than it was when I left home 25 minutes ago.
0:01:38 > 0:01:42- What happened? - Mix a couple of glasses of vino with a bunch of cold and flu tablets
0:01:42 > 0:01:44and you inhabit a universe without repercussions.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48- It'll be forgotten by tomorrow. - How are the holiday plans going?
0:01:48 > 0:01:53- Great. We're checking into Rick's Spa and Grill this arvo. - Cancel it.- Why?- Joss Miller, AWOL.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57- If she doesn't turn up, they're rooted. - Who's Joss Miller and who's rooted?
0:01:57 > 0:02:02Project Starsearch finalist. Just clarifying - you are an entertainment journalist?
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Who hates talent shows.
0:02:04 > 0:02:072.5 million people will be watching on Sunday night.
0:02:07 > 0:02:13- While they're doing that, I'll be in a spa.- Mate, we're down to 44 pages, and that includes the form guide.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15- So we are in trouble? - No, of course not.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17It's just that we could be selling a few more ads.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21- And the Argus may want to take us over.- Oh, no!
0:02:21 > 0:02:23I'm just worried if you don't find Joss Miller,
0:02:23 > 0:02:26we may be forced to wear cufflinks and have a strong online presence.
0:02:26 > 0:02:30Sorry, you'll have to get someone else to do the heavy lifting. I can't work every day of the year.
0:02:30 > 0:02:34Wait. If you find Joss Miller, I will give you 10,000.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36And where would that come from?
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Me. Now, if this paper goes under, I've got nothing
0:02:40 > 0:02:44but a one-minute clip on YouTube with 115,000 hits.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Boss, I really need this holiday.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49You're going to have to find someone else.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Right. Course I will.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56Attention, everybody. Can I have a moment of your time?
0:02:56 > 0:03:01'I'm offering 10,000 to the first hack who can track down
0:03:01 > 0:03:06'and interview Joss Miller. Hang on. Not you, Susie. We need an arts section.'
0:03:06 > 0:03:09And, Satish, who's going to check sub? Max! Where are you going?
0:03:09 > 0:03:12'I can't put the paper out without you. Gary, you can't go.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16'You work for Hi-Tech Hair Solutions. The rest of you, Godspeed.'
0:03:19 > 0:03:24This programme contains some strong language
0:03:24 > 0:03:29# The wintergreen, the juniper
0:03:29 > 0:03:32# The cornflower and the chicory
0:03:32 > 0:03:36# Well, all of the words you said to me
0:03:36 > 0:03:39# Are still vibrating in the air
0:03:39 > 0:03:43# The elm, the ash and the linden tree
0:03:43 > 0:03:47# The dark and deep enchanted sea
0:03:47 > 0:03:51# The trembling moon and the stars unfurled
0:03:51 > 0:03:55# Well, there she goes, my beautiful world
0:03:55 > 0:03:59# There she goes, my beautiful world
0:03:59 > 0:04:02# There she goes, my beautiful world
0:04:02 > 0:04:06# There she goes, my beautiful world
0:04:06 > 0:04:10# There she goes again. #
0:04:33 > 0:04:38- Mr Burchill?- Yes.- We've a lovely room for you today, overlooking the pool.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40- Great.- There's your key, room 12.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- Now, do you need a hand with any luggage?- Uh...no.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Well, enjoy your stay. If you want anything, just dial 0.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48OK, thanks.
0:04:48 > 0:04:49Um...what about the other room?
0:04:49 > 0:04:51The other room?
0:04:51 > 0:04:54Yeah, I booked two rooms. One for me and one for my mate.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Oh, I'm sorry.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58I have no record of that, sir.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00I had you down for the Couples Escape Package.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02No, there's no couple.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04We'll just have to take another room.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07We only have the deluxe suite, I'm afraid.
0:05:07 > 0:05:11- Well, that sounds all right. How much is that? - That one is 700 a night.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13- What?- On top of what we're already paying?
0:05:13 > 0:05:17- It has a bidet.- That's ridiculous, mate. Why don't we just bunk in?
0:05:17 > 0:05:20If you're going to do that, there is a lovely fold-out bed provided
0:05:20 > 0:05:23which we'd be happy to make up for an extra 30 a night.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26- Excellent.- OK. Great. Thanks.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40I'll take the fold-out, mate.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42No, no. It's your room. I'll take it.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44OK, thanks.
0:05:46 > 0:05:50Bob was disappointed by the outcome of that conversation.
0:05:50 > 0:05:54He believed it had ended a bit too early.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01"Dear sirs,
0:06:01 > 0:06:04"we sincerely welcome you both to the Couples Escape Package,
0:06:04 > 0:06:08"which includes grape-seed-crush foot therapy,
0:06:08 > 0:06:11"champagne and rose hand therapy for lovers,
0:06:11 > 0:06:13"vineyard mud wrap, a romantic dinner for two
0:06:13 > 0:06:16"and a complimentary lovers' mocktail at the bar upon arrival."
0:06:16 > 0:06:19The irony is that we probably love each other more than most lovers.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23- Might be an idea to keep that to yourself, mate.- No worries.
0:06:30 > 0:06:31Mate, do you mind?
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Well, it's just as much mine as it is yours.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37What if neither of us ends up finding someone and we just,
0:06:37 > 0:06:42- you know, end up like this for the rest of our lives? - It's not that bad, is it?
0:06:42 > 0:06:48With all due respect, I'd hoped at some point I'd be waking up next to a beautiful woman every morning.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50And it'd be great if you were doing the same.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53With a different beautiful woman, obviously.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Mate, it might come sooner than you think.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59There's a chick at ten o'clock who's dead-set barrelling me.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02No, further to your left. Bit more.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05Fair bit more.
0:07:07 > 0:07:08Very subtle work.
0:07:08 > 0:07:12- Couldn't have done it without you. - So?- Mmm. Nice.
0:07:16 > 0:07:17Holidays agree with you, mate.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20You're telling me.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25- That's ridiculous. - Should we ask someone?
0:07:25 > 0:07:28I'm sorry, but Andrew Peacock was never prime minister of Australia.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31- Ah, I think he was. - I think she might be right, mate.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Trust me, I can chronologically list every Australian PM
0:07:33 > 0:07:36since Billy Hughes, and I promise you, Peacock isn't one of them.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Well, I remember the day that he was elected. I remember his speech.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42OK, OK, in reverse chronological order,
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Rudd, Howard, Keating, Hawke...
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Peacock. You're so wrong!
0:07:47 > 0:07:48OK, let's look it up.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50No, I'm enjoying my drink.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52Guys, chillax. We're on holiday.
0:07:57 > 0:08:03Privately, Alex was relieved not to have to list every Australian PM since Billy Hughes,
0:08:03 > 0:08:07as he'd completely forgotten the guy who had the job for six days in 1945.
0:08:07 > 0:08:08Oh, now he's remembered again.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10SHE MOANS
0:08:10 > 0:08:12It was Frank Forde.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16MOANING CONTINUES
0:08:22 > 0:08:25MOANING CONTINUES
0:08:29 > 0:08:32RHYTHMIC MOANING
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
0:08:36 > 0:08:38RHYTHMIC MOANING
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
0:08:42 > 0:08:45You know what? I was tempted by the crush foot therapy,
0:08:45 > 0:08:47but I've decided to go with the mud bath.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50So that's where I'll be if anyone's looking for me.
0:08:50 > 0:08:54Oh, and I've left a printout of Australian PMs on the desk.
0:08:54 > 0:08:59No Andrew Peacock. Yes. So...um... Have a great day.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02In the words of Alex's favourite prime minister,
0:09:02 > 0:09:06it was the sweetest victory of all.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39Hello, can we get some help down here?
0:09:39 > 0:09:41SHE COUGHS
0:09:41 > 0:09:45Upsy-daisy.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Hello!
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Somebody?
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Hello? Hello?
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Hello!
0:10:04 > 0:10:05HE KNOCKS ON DOOR
0:10:05 > 0:10:08- Hang on.- Hurry up, mate. Emergency.
0:10:10 > 0:10:11Don't go.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16- What the fuck?- Let's go. Put the shower on. Let's go.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18You couldn't get a live one, Alex?
0:10:21 > 0:10:24- Come on, keep awake.- I'm sorry.
0:10:24 > 0:10:29- Sis! What happened?- Is she your sister?- Yeah, Lucy.- Shit, eh?
0:10:29 > 0:10:32- What did you take?- Um... Come on. Tell us what you took.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35We might be able to do something about it.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38- Sleeping pills. - Yeah, but which ones? How many?
0:10:38 > 0:10:40I don't know, like, eight.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Bob, call reception. Get 'em to ring a doctor.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45- No, it's OK.- What?- No doctors. Our parents will freak out.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48OK, OK. You hold the fort, mate. I'm going to give Jim a call.
0:10:50 > 0:10:51PHONE RINGS
0:10:51 > 0:10:53- 'Dr James Sawers.'- Jim, it's me.
0:10:53 > 0:10:57It's Alex. You're never going to guess who I've got with me now.
0:10:57 > 0:10:58I just need some advice, mate.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00- Rita.- Say hi.- Rita says hi.
0:11:00 > 0:11:05- Yeah, great. There's this girl here who's taken eight sleeping pills. What should I do?- Call the doctor.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07- I just did.- Uh...well, eight, hey?
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Well, she's not going to die, unless, of course,
0:11:10 > 0:11:12she falls asleep and chokes on her own vomit.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14Ew! What, so just keep her awake?
0:11:14 > 0:11:16- At least for another hour. - OK. Thanks, mate.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19- Say hi to Rita for you, shall I? - Yep.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22OK. I might be jumping the gun here,
0:11:22 > 0:11:25but I get the feeling our Alex has met someone.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Isn't that nice?
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Yeah.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32- So how long are guys up here for, Lucy?- Um...
0:11:32 > 0:11:37- A week.- Can I just sleep? - Not for another hour or so.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39There's a risk you might choke on your own vomit.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42- Ew!- Mmm. That's what I said.
0:11:42 > 0:11:43So what happened?
0:11:43 > 0:11:47Well, I just wanted to relax, so I took a couple of pills.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50I was still tense, so I took a couple more.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54- You've got to give 'em a chance to kick in.- I know that now.
0:11:54 > 0:11:59- So how are you feeling?- Sleepy. Can you just keep talking to me?
0:11:59 > 0:12:03Oh, OK. Um... Something me and the guys were discussing before -
0:12:03 > 0:12:08was Andrew Peacock ever prime minister of Australia?
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Of course not.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13He lost two elections to Hawke, one in '84 and one in '90.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19I think I might go the heated seaweed
0:12:19 > 0:12:20and essential oil muscle wrap.
0:12:20 > 0:12:25- Aren't you having a massage? - It's all part of the package. - PHONE RINGS
0:12:25 > 0:12:26Rita.
0:12:26 > 0:12:27Hi, gorgeous.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Are you on some sort of medication?
0:12:30 > 0:12:33No! No.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35I'm just wondering what you're up to.
0:12:35 > 0:12:36Well, I'm on holiday.
0:12:36 > 0:12:40So where are you staying? Maybe I could come and join you.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43- Um...I can't remember the name. - Aren't you there now?
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Why don't I see you when I get back?
0:12:45 > 0:12:49- But can't you just tell me where you're staying?- Alex?
0:12:49 > 0:12:51- Speak to you later.- Hi. I'm Bianca.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54- Mr Geraghty?- That's me.- Oh.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Mr Burchill? Hi. I'm Raymond.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Why have men giving other men massages?
0:13:06 > 0:13:10How are you supposed to relax with a man's firm hands all over you?
0:13:10 > 0:13:13- Why didn't you just say something? - I didn't want to offend him.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16You should have said something, mate, cos I was in heaven.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18- Hey!- Hey!
0:13:18 > 0:13:22Hey, Alex, who was prime minister for 23 days in '67-'68?
0:13:22 > 0:13:26- John McEwen.- Damn it. Hi.- Hey.
0:13:26 > 0:13:30- Thank you so much for saving my life.- Oh, thank you for thanking me.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33The last person whose life I saved hasn't even acknowledged it yet.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36You just happened to stumble upon me when you were out jogging.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39- With my replacement. - See? That wasn't so hard.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42So we should all go and have a hit of tennis sometime.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44- Yeah, sure.- Yeah?
0:13:44 > 0:13:48You and me versus the cast of Nine And A Half Weeks.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50If you need to eradicate any disturbing images,
0:13:50 > 0:13:52I have the number of a very good shrink.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55And sounds? Does he eradicate disturbing sounds as well?
0:13:55 > 0:13:58It'd be the first naked woman you've seen or heard in quite a while.
0:14:01 > 0:14:05OK. Um... So how about we all meet up at four?
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Sounds good. See you there.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10- See ya.- Alex.- Samantha.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Mate, what are you trying to do to me?
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Don't you worry about anything, mate.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Yeah!
0:14:25 > 0:14:27"Why the long face?"
0:14:27 > 0:14:29THEY LAUGH
0:14:46 > 0:14:49ALL: Cheers.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51BOTH: # Love you... #
0:14:51 > 0:14:53THEY LAUGH
0:14:53 > 0:14:58Next up, Alex and Lucy, with the Lee Hazlewood classic Summer Wine.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Look, if we're going to take this any further,
0:15:05 > 0:15:07then there's some things I need to tell you.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09What things?
0:15:09 > 0:15:13Well, Alex takes his tea white with honey, not sugar, honey.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16- Right.- And not supermarket honey either. Cold-extracted honey.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19I get it from the organic store.
0:15:19 > 0:15:20Why cold-extracted?
0:15:20 > 0:15:24Because toxins form if the honey's heated over 40 degrees,
0:15:24 > 0:15:27and it loses its beneficial properties.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30But doesn't the honey heat up once it's in the tea?
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- Yeah, we don't talk about that. - # Summer wine
0:15:33 > 0:15:36# Oh, summer wine... #
0:15:36 > 0:15:39He does a really great impersonation of Tony Greig.
0:15:39 > 0:15:46# Strawberries, cherries and an angel's kiss in spring
0:15:46 > 0:15:52# My summer wine is really made from all these things... #
0:15:52 > 0:15:56Wow! Your sister sure can sing.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Yeah.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01# And I will give to you
0:16:01 > 0:16:04# Summer wine
0:16:04 > 0:16:07# Ooh
0:16:07 > 0:16:10# Summer wine. #
0:16:10 > 0:16:13CROWD CHEER
0:16:15 > 0:16:19So how's things going with "Lucy"?
0:16:19 > 0:16:23- What's with the air quotes? - Well, I'm 99% certain
0:16:23 > 0:16:27that Lucy is Joss Miller from Project Starsearch.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29- Mate, if that were the case, she would have told me.- You reckon?
0:16:29 > 0:16:33- You're talking about my future wife. - Really?
0:16:33 > 0:16:36Sure, we might date for a while, but when you know, you know.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39I'd pop the question now, but it might be weird and freak her out.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42- I knew you'd find happiness. - Thanks, mate.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Good on ya, mate.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Mmm. So what do you do with your days?
0:16:56 > 0:16:58I work in a lab.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Really? You don't experiment on animals, do you?
0:17:00 > 0:17:03No, no, we're working on adult stem cell technology
0:17:03 > 0:17:07- that can actually regenerate damaged spinal discs.- Right.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Yeah, that's a whole lot of people out there in wheelchairs
0:17:10 > 0:17:12who now have a hope of being able to walk again.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15- Wow.- What do you do? - Oh, I'm a writer, actually.
0:17:15 > 0:17:19- I could write about it.- You're not a tabloid journalist, are you?
0:17:19 > 0:17:23- No.- Those guys are just the lowest of the low.- I know.
0:17:23 > 0:17:30No, I'm writing a book, actually, about a charity I do work for.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Oh, really? What kind of charity work?
0:17:32 > 0:17:35Oh, we're introducing cricket to developing countries.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37That must be fun.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40You'd think so, but it's actually quite dangerous.
0:17:40 > 0:17:45I love cricket. It reminds me of my childhood with my dad.
0:17:48 > 0:17:53- What are you doing?- Sorry, I thought that there was something going on.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56Is that how it works? You help me and then you expect me to put out?
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- Help you? I saved your life.- You can't let me forget it, can you?
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Wow. Is that what you think?
0:18:02 > 0:18:06And here I was thinking that there was something special going on.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Huh!
0:18:15 > 0:18:18- OK, Sam, that's it for tonight. - What?
0:18:18 > 0:18:22- Seriously, I need to talk to Bob about something important.- Go on.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24I'll see you in the morning.
0:18:28 > 0:18:29Come here.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- Take a look at that.- I told you!
0:18:34 > 0:18:37I probably should have mentioned this earlier,
0:18:37 > 0:18:40but the editor's offering 10 grand to the first journo who can find her.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42- Right.- How would you feel if I wrote it up?
0:18:42 > 0:18:45I don't know. I actually really like Sam.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47- It's a great story. - What time is it, anyway?
0:18:47 > 0:18:50They'll already be in the middle of the final print run.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53Look, how about you wash your hands of this and I'll use file photos?
0:18:53 > 0:18:56It won't be as good.
0:18:56 > 0:18:57No.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01- OK.- Are you sure?
0:19:01 > 0:19:03- If Sam and I are meant to be, we'll get over it.- And if you're not,
0:19:03 > 0:19:07you've got five grand worth of executive relief you can call upon.
0:19:07 > 0:19:08Win-win.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16Boss. What's the splash?
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Something off the wire about a British cop who's had a sex-change operation.
0:19:19 > 0:19:23No-Knobby Bobby Keeps Jobby.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26- How about Joss And Found?- No.
0:19:26 > 0:19:27Yes.
0:19:27 > 0:19:32Oh, mate, you have made an old man very happy. One second.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40Howard Evans, editor of the Sunday Sun.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Stop the press.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46Alex saw his story as a lesson for all men.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49Just because you save a girl's life
0:19:49 > 0:19:52doesn't necessarily mean you're going to get a thank you pash.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54She has to like you as well.
0:19:54 > 0:19:55Bizarre, I know.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00'Good job, boys. I reckon you've saved the paper.'
0:20:00 > 0:20:01Not that we're in any trouble.
0:20:01 > 0:20:05- Thanks, boss.- I've never said this to you, Alex, but...
0:20:05 > 0:20:07you're like a son to me.
0:20:07 > 0:20:08Thanks, boss.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12And, Bob, you're like my son's friend.
0:20:12 > 0:20:13We love you too, boss.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Enjoy your holidays, boys.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19- So it was worth it.- Most definitely.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22He didn't mention anything about the 10 large, though, did he?
0:20:22 > 0:20:24- He'll come through.- I hope so.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26KNOCK ON DOOR
0:20:27 > 0:20:31- Hi.- I saw your light on. Is this OK?
0:20:31 > 0:20:33- Come in, come in. - I'm so sorry about before.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36- I should never have said those things.- Oh, don't worry about it.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Also, my name's not actually Lucy.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42- Right.- It's Joss. I've been calling myself Lucy.
0:20:42 > 0:20:43Don't tell me if you don't want to.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46Also, I wanted to apologise for being such a cow
0:20:46 > 0:20:48about the whole kiss thing.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50Oh, that's OK. I misread the moment.
0:20:50 > 0:20:54I just freaked out because I thought I wasn't ready for a relationship,
0:20:54 > 0:20:57but the truth is I wanted to kiss you too.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02Look, um... Bob's not feeling too flash.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Do you mind if we talk about this in detail tomorrow morning?
0:21:05 > 0:21:08- So breakfast?- Breakfast.- OK.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15Boss, it's Alex.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18You know how you were saying I was like a son to you?
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Hi. Do you have a Sunday Sun?
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Sorry, just the Sunday Argus.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32We can go into town and get one, if you like. Liz!
0:21:32 > 0:21:33No, no, no, no, that's fine.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36In fact, it'd be great if you didn't get a Sunday Sun.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39- Under any circumstances. - Certainly, sir.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44So you've never seen Project Starsearch?
0:21:44 > 0:21:48- Sorry.- It's pretty popular. - Well, if I'd known you were on it...
0:21:48 > 0:21:51- I'm supposed to be there now. - Well, what happened?
0:21:51 > 0:21:53I just don't think I'm very good at handling stress.
0:21:53 > 0:21:58- You could always take eight sleeping pills and hop in a mud bath.- I'm never going to live that down, am I?
0:21:58 > 0:22:01I always like to have something in the bank just for when I stuff up.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04Speaking of which, I've got a bit of a confession of my own.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Alex!
0:22:06 > 0:22:08- What are you doing here? - Just came to hang out.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11Relax for a couple of days. You up for a bit of tennis?
0:22:11 > 0:22:13- Are you two...? - No, no, no. How'd you find me?
0:22:13 > 0:22:16- Your article.- Hey, you should go and get your complimentary mocktail.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18- What article?- Haven't you seen it?
0:22:19 > 0:22:23Before you read that, there's something I need to tell you.
0:22:23 > 0:22:24So you are a tabloid journalist.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27I tried really hard to stop that being published.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29- You lied about doing charity work? - What about you?
0:22:29 > 0:22:32I believed all that rubbish about you making paraplegics walk.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35That's my full-time job. I just also happen to be on Project Starsearch.
0:22:35 > 0:22:36Oh.
0:22:36 > 0:22:41"Joss, whose sister Samantha thinks that Andrew Peacock was once prime minister of Australia,
0:22:41 > 0:22:43"took an overdose of sleeping tablets and slid into a mud bath
0:22:43 > 0:22:47"before being rescued by this column." How could you do this?
0:22:47 > 0:22:51- Why didn't you kiss me? None of this would've happened!- It's my fault?
0:22:51 > 0:22:54Well, maybe in my heart I knew you were a tabloid scumbag.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Fuck you, Alex Burchill!
0:23:04 > 0:23:07- So how are you going, anyway? - Yeah, good.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10I was coming down with a bit of a cold, but I'm feeling good now.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13Great. So you're staying for a couple of days, are you?
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Yeah, I don't know.
0:23:15 > 0:23:20- I might get back home, actually. This place is quite expensive.- Mmm.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Let's go, then.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Bob. Code Red, mate.
0:23:25 > 0:23:26Right you are, mate.
0:23:29 > 0:23:30Sorry, Sam.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32You're joking.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- Afraid not.- Can't I come?
0:23:35 > 0:23:38Darling, where I'm going, you can't follow.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41What I've got to do, you can't be any part of.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Look, I'm no good at being noble, but...
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Something about a hill of beans.
0:23:53 > 0:23:54What?
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Thank you, Mr Burchill. And just so you know,
0:23:57 > 0:24:01- you're officially no longer welcome here at Rick's Spa and Grill. - Thanks very much.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03We're just going to wait here a minute for our friend.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14How long does it take to drink a complimentary mocktail?
0:24:19 > 0:24:23Alex! This is Dylan. He's a journalist too.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26Yeah. We know each other. Dylan.
0:24:26 > 0:24:31Alex. I read your story in this section of the paper this morning.
0:24:31 > 0:24:35Oh. I'm sorry, this IS the paper.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39I've just been telling Dylan about your argument with Joss.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Oh, great. Well, I look forward to reading about it, then.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Yeah, I think it'd make a fantastic story.
0:24:44 > 0:24:48Only problem is our readers haven't got the faintest idea who you are.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50SHE LAUGHS
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Well, you can't have everything.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54I guess I'll see you back in Melbourne.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56Oh, OK.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07We're off, mate.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Interesting.
0:25:47 > 0:25:53As in the Chinese curse, "May you live in interesting times."
0:25:56 > 0:26:00It is the first of three curses of increasing severity,
0:26:00 > 0:26:02the other two being,
0:26:02 > 0:26:06"May you come to the attention of those in authority,"
0:26:06 > 0:26:10and finally, and the one that Alex feared the most,
0:26:10 > 0:26:13"May you find what you're looking for."
0:26:49 > 0:26:52Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd