0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains very strong language.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07- I feel sick.- I thought... - What did you think? - I thought it was a laptop.
0:00:07 > 0:00:11How have you got confused between a laptop and a dead cat in a bag?
0:00:11 > 0:00:13It's just so upsetting.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15It's squidgy. A laptop's not squidgy, is it?
0:00:15 > 0:00:17I thought it was bubble wrap, innit?
0:00:17 > 0:00:19So a dude pulls up to you, offers you a laptop in a bin bag,
0:00:19 > 0:00:21and you think that's a good deal?
0:00:21 > 0:00:25That is a good deal. £150 for a laptop, that's wicked.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27It's a very good deal for a laptop.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Not a dead cat in a bag.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Why wouldn't you look inside it before you bought it?
0:00:31 > 0:00:33What? When you go and buy a can of Coke from the shop,
0:00:33 > 0:00:35do you look inside to see if it's got a Coke in it
0:00:35 > 0:00:37or does it just have Coke in it? Huh?
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Listen, I didn't get a receipt, innit?
0:00:39 > 0:00:41So I can't take it back, so...
0:00:41 > 0:00:43How are we going to get rid of it?
0:00:43 > 0:00:45How do you think we're going to get rid of it? I'll have to do it...
0:00:45 > 0:00:47- All right. - I'm not carrying it this time.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51What's wrong with him, like?
0:00:51 > 0:00:53- Where are you going?- To hell.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04You're in so much trouble, you don't even know.
0:01:04 > 0:01:05You're in trouble as well.
0:01:05 > 0:01:06- Why, what did he do?- What?
0:01:07 > 0:01:11- Did he stroke the cat? - Yeah, he touched it.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13What does that mean? Your fingerprints are all over the ting.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Come here, open the bag for me.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Pass it here. Pass it here, yeah.
0:01:20 > 0:01:24- Don't shake it!- Now you can see its face properly, yeah? Look at that.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26That cat did not die of natural causes. Horrible, yeah?
0:01:26 > 0:01:31When they die of natural causes, they're all, "Meow! Meow!"
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Bruv, look at his face...
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Something rolled up on that pussycat and murdered him, bro.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39The RSPCA are fully looking for you.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Will this affect my National Trust membership?
0:01:44 > 0:01:45They might revoke that shit.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Oh, shit!
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Listen, don't worry. I'll come visit you in prison, innit?
0:01:51 > 0:01:52If Mobeen drives, I'll come.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Yeah, don't bother.
0:01:54 > 0:01:55Oh, shit!
0:01:57 > 0:01:58Where are you going?
0:01:58 > 0:02:00- Go, go, go! - Get your hands in the air!
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Armed police, get your fucking hands in the air now.
0:02:03 > 0:02:04Especially you, Mobeen.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07- OK, OK, OK! - Where's your fucking friend gone?
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Why has he run off? I asked you a question.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11I don't know.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14If I had to guess, I'd probably say it's because he's black.
0:02:16 > 0:02:17What?
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Officer, I don't know if you've heard of this thing called history.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Yeah? But these situations very rarely work out for the black man.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27What's in the bag?
0:02:27 > 0:02:29- What's in the bag?- It's a laptop.
0:02:29 > 0:02:30It's a dead cat.
0:02:31 > 0:02:32Sajid?
0:02:32 > 0:02:33You take this one.
0:02:38 > 0:02:39Hold on a minute.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Is that Saj from school?
0:02:42 > 0:02:45- Stuart Little?- It is Stuart Little!
0:02:45 > 0:02:48- Did you call him Lord Of The Rings? - Yeah.- Here, let me help you.
0:02:48 > 0:02:49Get back, get back, hands in the air!
0:02:54 > 0:02:56What have you found, Frodo?
0:02:56 > 0:02:58It's a dead cat, sir.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00What the fuck is wrong with you people?
0:03:00 > 0:03:03- Fucking hell! - Look who's in charge now, huh?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Sajid, listen, man. Why have you got all the shit out?
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Are you arresting Ironman or what? It's me!
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Risk assessment management meeting dictates this level of response.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12The risk assessment management meeting dictates
0:03:12 > 0:03:16- this level of... Shut up, Sajid. - Shut up!- Well, sorry and all that,
0:03:16 > 0:03:18you could have trained two highly qualified nurses
0:03:18 > 0:03:21with the money you spent on training this useless brown bollock.
0:03:21 > 0:03:22Don't call me that. Don't call me that.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Listen, yeah? Stop wasting taxpayer's money on this bullshit.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27We're the police, we waste taxpayer's money
0:03:27 > 0:03:28- on whatever we like.- Yeah.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Well, you could have got three RSPCA officers...
0:03:31 > 0:03:33- Hands in the air, now! You, you're under arrest.- Why?
0:03:33 > 0:03:36- Him, why?- What did I do? - What did he do again, sir?
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Someone matching your description is using kids to sell drugs.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42He matches the description, so he's coming with us.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Sorry, what was his description?
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Brown male, in jogging bottoms.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Oh, well, it could be you, eh?
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- I think it is me.- It's not you!
0:03:54 > 0:03:55This is racial profiling.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57Go suck your mum's... We know our rights.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Oh, don't play the race card, Mobeen.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01I am the race card.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Why would you say... What does that mean?
0:04:03 > 0:04:04- What does that mean? - Why would you say that?
0:04:04 > 0:04:08Just so you know, yeah, he was never happy being a Feast.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10You always wanted to be a vanilla Magnum, didn't you? Didn't you?
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Tell him it's got nothing to do with racial profiling.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14This has nothing to do with racial profiling.
0:04:14 > 0:04:18- It's got nothing to do with racial profiling.- Dude.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Careful, sunshine.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23It would be a shame if I had a little mishap at work...
0:04:23 > 0:04:26..and accidentally shot you six times in the fucking face.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30Accidentally shot you in the face six fucking times.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33- I've had enough of this shit. Cuff him.- No, no, no.
0:04:33 > 0:04:38I told you I'd get you back, look at me.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41My dick is in your face, what are you going to do about it?
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Look at me. Look at me.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Stand down. No more coffee for you in the morning! Christ!
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Fuck!
0:04:57 > 0:05:00I just don't feel comfortable with the level of tension in your scalp.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03You know as well, I reading on the internet, yeah,
0:05:03 > 0:05:05they've got this extracts of volcanic ash cloud and that, right?
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Mum never took this long to do my braids.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10Unless she's turned into Pakistan's version of Mr Tickle,
0:05:10 > 0:05:12she can't reach your hair from Karachi, can she?
0:05:12 > 0:05:15So you're stuck with your big brother during your hair.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- Can't I get a professional to do them?- Oi! I am a professional.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21I want more volume in here. I need more volume.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24I want to get it hench and that, like, try feathering it.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- I could even layer it, you know. - Or maybe just finish off my braids.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29I can hear my hair growing!
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Is Eight still in custody?
0:05:31 > 0:05:33- Is being a weirdo finally a crime? - If he was in prison for that,
0:05:33 > 0:05:35he'd be in prison for the rest of his life, wouldn't he?
0:05:35 > 0:05:38No, the old Bill think he's been selling drugs.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Eight, a drug dealer? That's funny.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43- That's what I said as well. - Everyone knows it's Shahid.
0:05:49 > 0:05:50Why do you even know that name?
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Have you lost weight?
0:05:53 > 0:05:55You're looking trim, you know.
0:05:55 > 0:05:56Stop all that, yeah.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Tell me what you know.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01The rumour in Year Ten is that Shahid is getting
0:06:01 > 0:06:03some of the kids to move his grub for him.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05- What?- I don't know why you can't just snitch on Shahid
0:06:05 > 0:06:09- and get Eight out. - It don't work like that, all right?
0:06:09 > 0:06:11I'm telling you now, Aks, yeah?
0:06:11 > 0:06:14You stay well away from anything to do with this, you understand?
0:06:14 > 0:06:15There is one person in the family
0:06:15 > 0:06:17who don't get involved in drug dealing.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19I don't do no drugs, sell drugs, who told you that, man?
0:06:19 > 0:06:23- I don't know what you're talking about.- Is that true?
0:06:23 > 0:06:24Do you think I've lost weight, though,
0:06:24 > 0:06:27because I'd been doing sit-ups and crunches and that, like.
0:06:27 > 0:06:28Don't be stupid.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30BING!
0:06:30 > 0:06:32- Kareema is here.- Listen, wait for me. Wait for me.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36Your hair looks lovely from here, you know.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38You're giving me stress.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40I did a stress test, and it said I'm dead,
0:06:40 > 0:06:41pretty much dead because of you.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Yo, yo.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48- I want to talk to you. - Wa gwa, Mobeen?
0:06:48 > 0:06:53Look, I can't stay, man, got to go. Business and that, yeah.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Kareema, what are you doing hang around with that mug?
0:06:55 > 0:06:57He's mum's cousin's cousin.
0:06:57 > 0:06:58What's your problem, Mobeen?
0:06:58 > 0:07:00I don't care who he is, yeah?
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Stay well away from him, do you understand?
0:07:02 > 0:07:03Why? What are you going to do?
0:07:03 > 0:07:06Are you going to braid my hair really, really slowly?
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Maybe I will.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13- Maybe I will.- She's weird, man.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32They won't keep him here for much longer.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34That's what Nelson Mandela's wife said.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Look what happened there.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Blud, they don't even give refreshments in here any more.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44Not even a water cooler. I don't know why I pay my taxes.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46You don't pay your taxes.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49OK, I don't know why you pay your taxes, then, innit?
0:08:02 > 0:08:03You OK, bro?
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Hey?
0:08:07 > 0:08:08WHISPERING: Shit!
0:08:10 > 0:08:13- It's that guy. WHISPERING:- What guy?
0:08:13 > 0:08:15They call him the Small Heath sex falcon.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Why?
0:08:17 > 0:08:22Because man swoops in, and violates tall man...
0:08:22 > 0:08:24..with kind faces.
0:08:24 > 0:08:25I'm a tall man.
0:08:27 > 0:08:28With a kind face.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34NORMAL VOLUME: What's going on with you, sir?
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Come on, man, no judgment here. What was it?
0:08:36 > 0:08:40Well, I was pretending to be a ghost.
0:08:40 > 0:08:41I beg your pardon.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44When people went to visit graves, I'd...
0:08:44 > 0:08:47- Oh, never mind. - Never mind never mind, go on.
0:08:47 > 0:08:48I'd go up behind them.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51- And?- And go, "Wooo."
0:08:58 > 0:09:00What's going on in here, man?
0:09:00 > 0:09:02I think Arnold Schwarzenegger's vegan now.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05That's how come he's so active, even though he's so old.
0:09:07 > 0:09:12Oh, so boss, Officer Sajid, you're doing such a good job.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14You're a good police officer, you.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17Wasting more time on innocent people. You all right, yeah?
0:09:17 > 0:09:18Listen, watch Terminator Three again,
0:09:18 > 0:09:21then you tell me it's not the best one from all the Terminator films.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24- That one is the wickedest one. - Have you given him sugar?
0:09:24 > 0:09:27- I had two digestives and an orange squash.- For goodness' sake!
0:09:27 > 0:09:30The guy's a weirdo. Just get him out of here.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Can I stay? Because he proper lets me talk.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34- Do you want to stay the afternoon? - Yeah.
0:09:34 > 0:09:35That's fine, yeah, you can stay with you.
0:09:35 > 0:09:36What is wrong with you?
0:09:36 > 0:09:38If I sell drugs, can I come back then?
0:09:38 > 0:09:40You're not a drug dealer, you're a baby.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43It's OK. We'll bring him back for a play date another day, yeah?
0:09:43 > 0:09:44You fucking piece of shit!
0:09:44 > 0:09:45I'm a piece of shit?
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Putting my face in the middle,
0:09:48 > 0:09:50do you understand? Come on. You all right, yeah? Come on.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Mugging man off and that. Because of my face in my hood.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55Shave that beard off as well. Fucking terrorist!
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Wow, Islamophobia from a Muslim, yeah?
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Officer Sajid, I forgot to mention.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02I saw your mum last week. She still says you're a dickhead!
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Get the fuck out of my station.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06And you know that ghost, yeah?
0:10:06 > 0:10:08He's the sanest motherfucker in this place.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Thank you.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15I can't do this job any more.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17I still don't know why you had to go get him.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20What's going to happen to him in between leaving the police station,
0:10:20 > 0:10:23- and going home?- Take your pick. - Getting dog poo in his hair.
0:10:23 > 0:10:24Signing up to the Territorial Army.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Getting his shoes jacked by that group of 12-year-old muggers,
0:10:27 > 0:10:28- do you remember that? - But them girls...
0:10:28 > 0:10:31- Tell her how vicious the girls were. - OK, stupid question.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33- Yeah, it was. - He's daft and that, yeah.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36But he's like family. And we look after family, you know that.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Yeah, us'll all do anything for one another.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Because, like, we are, like, brothers.
0:10:40 > 0:10:41Obviously not the same mum,
0:10:41 > 0:10:42but, you know, blood is thicker than water.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44And he is thicker concrete!
0:10:44 > 0:10:46They know what they're talking about, like, innit?
0:10:46 > 0:10:49- Like, pay attention.- It's a set of rules that we live by.
0:10:49 > 0:10:50We're basically a lovely family.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53It's a kind of code. Yeah, we fall out,
0:10:53 > 0:10:57but we never, ever snitch on one another.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59How did you get dog poo in your hair anyways?
0:10:59 > 0:11:02What it is, if you're wearing a hoodie, right,
0:11:02 > 0:11:04and someone puts dog poo in the back of your hoodie,
0:11:04 > 0:11:07and then you put the hoodie up, then you've got dog poo in your hair.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10- It's obvious now you say it. - That's why I said it.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Mate, did you bring your own cutlery?
0:11:12 > 0:11:14Oh, yeah, I always bring this fork.
0:11:19 > 0:11:23- Zayn Malik reckons he's from the hood in Bradford.- Really?
0:11:23 > 0:11:25- Yeah, but I'll knock him spark out. - Yeah, you could.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27I need you to take these for me, please.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29There's a squad car waiting right outside school for me,
0:11:29 > 0:11:32- and I swear they are following me. - Can't you just throw them away?
0:11:32 > 0:11:33Are you crazy? Shahid would kill me.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35You're my best mate, I would do the same for you.
0:11:35 > 0:11:36- Just go.- Thank you.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05It's you, bro. Remember you sold me that laptop, it wasn't a laptop,
0:12:05 > 0:12:07it was a dead cat in a bag.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09- It was the wrong bag. - Oh, you gave me the wrong bag?
0:12:11 > 0:12:13All right. Don't mess me about next time, yeah?
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Mobeen.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35Bloody hell.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39Aks, you know according to this documentary here, now, yeah,
0:12:39 > 0:12:43strawberry milkshakes contain an ingredient
0:12:43 > 0:12:47that comes from the bum gland of a beaver.
0:12:47 > 0:12:48The bum gland of a beaver.
0:12:48 > 0:12:49Who is even up the beaver's bum,
0:12:49 > 0:12:52looking for ingredients in the first place?
0:12:52 > 0:12:53Unbelievable.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Aks. Aks.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59What?
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Would you drink strawberry milkshake with all these bum glands in there?
0:13:02 > 0:13:03I'm good, thanks.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Yeah, same here.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07Blowing my mind, this is.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Come here and watch it with me, man.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13You probably need this info for your GCSEs, come.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Aks.
0:13:15 > 0:13:16Aks!
0:13:21 > 0:13:25All right, all right, you don't have to drink it if you don't want to.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Why has Kareema even got these in the first place?
0:13:33 > 0:13:34Oh, shite...
0:13:34 > 0:13:37I just did what I thought you would have done for Eight and Nate.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39I helped her.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41We don't snitch on our own people.
0:13:41 > 0:13:42That's the rule.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44No! It's not... Well, it...
0:13:46 > 0:13:49I mean, yeah, but...I'm sorry, it's my fault, OK?
0:13:49 > 0:13:50Just don't cry.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Don't cry, OK? It's not your fault.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56I have to fix this, all right?
0:13:56 > 0:13:58Just wait until I get back, lock the door.
0:14:33 > 0:14:38Mobeen's gone off the shade. Do you know what this means?
0:14:38 > 0:14:41- BOTH:- Fight!
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Yo, wa gwan, Mobeen?
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Keep this filth away from Kareema,
0:14:48 > 0:14:51- and you even look in the direction of my little sister...- You'll what?
0:14:51 > 0:14:53Yeah, this ain't your game any more. You retired. So what?
0:14:53 > 0:14:56You just want to be an imam by day, and a road man by night?
0:14:58 > 0:15:00It's a shame about your sister, you know.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03She'd have made a good little drug dealer.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05I ain't scared of you, Mobeen.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07What are you going to do?
0:15:07 > 0:15:08What am I going to do?
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Yeah. What are you going to do, Mobeen?
0:15:11 > 0:15:14What am I going to do? I'll show you what I'm going to do.
0:15:14 > 0:15:18Come here. I'm going to show you. Take that.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21Take this leek in your face. Do you like bananas?
0:15:21 > 0:15:23How about it? I'm going to give you your five a day today.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26- You'll get your five a day today. - I'm allergic to kiwis.
0:15:26 > 0:15:27- Oh, are you?- Yeah!
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Don't, man, don't.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Yes!
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Take the kiwi!
0:15:34 > 0:15:36THEY SQUEAL
0:15:37 > 0:15:39That was sick!
0:15:39 > 0:15:40Check you out, you were like Dhalsim.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42You proper turned him into a fruit salad, innit?
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Are you all right? Mate! Mate!
0:15:45 > 0:15:46What?
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Bro, I stopped recording, can you do that again?
0:15:53 > 0:15:54Who was paying for all these fruits?
0:15:54 > 0:15:56His mum's going to have to pay for it, innit?
0:15:56 > 0:15:58SIREN WAILS
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Oh, fuc...
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Not Harper again.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08I'm going to ask for a chocolate digestive this time.
0:16:08 > 0:16:09Is that important right now?
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Thank you for giving me a genuine reason
0:16:11 > 0:16:13- to take you down to the station. - What's that reason?
0:16:13 > 0:16:16You didn't see me do... I haven't done anything to see.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18- Tell him I didn't do anything. - What about the fight?
0:16:19 > 0:16:22- He didn't do anything. - Listen, listen.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25- Have I done anything, though? - There was a man lying in fruit.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28- That is enough.- Are you going to kill a man or what?
0:16:28 > 0:16:30- Not yet.- What do you mean not yet?
0:16:30 > 0:16:34What's that supposed to mean? No, I didn't do anything.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Did you see me do anything?
0:16:36 > 0:16:37Did you see man do...
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Get in.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Mobeen!
0:16:43 > 0:16:45I didn't do anything.
0:16:45 > 0:16:46Step back, or I'll gas you.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49- I didn't do anything. - Why is he covered in bananas?
0:16:49 > 0:16:51Because he likes salad.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53That's a likely story. Put that phone down.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Officer, please, you have to let me go, man.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16They are going to take her away from me. Please, man.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Officer, please, man, there's nobody else at home.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25- Out.- What?
0:17:25 > 0:17:26Get out.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29You're an absolute waste of fucking time.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32- What is it?- He won't admit it was you that gave him an 'iding.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36You lot and your bullshit code.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38I don't know why I'm taking these off, I'm sure I'll put you
0:17:38 > 0:17:40back in them soon enough.
0:17:41 > 0:17:42Am I good to go?
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Piss off, Mobeen.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Come here, Aks.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Are you OK?
0:17:55 > 0:17:56Come over here, man.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03What?
0:18:03 > 0:18:05You all right?
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Oi! Who done this to my fruit?
0:18:09 > 0:18:10Eight did it.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12No more paper round for you.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15- Do you do a paper round here? - Sometimes.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Listen, man, people can say what they like about Small Heath.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27I love living here, man. They say it's violent all the time and that.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29Didn't you have a fight two minutes ago?
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Yeah, OK, it was violent then, but that's because I made it violent.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34I'm not going to do that again, so you ain't got to worry about that.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37- Ain't that your boy? - Oh, yeah, it's Drizzee
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Good to see you, brother. He's a good guy.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41- It is violent.- It's not...
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Well, yes, you're right, actually, it's violent.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46- Do you know why? Because of them.- Geeses?
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Geese, yeah, get that right.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51- Geese!- Yeah, man, people think Small Heath's violent and dangerous,
0:18:51 > 0:18:53Worried about gang-related crime and that.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55They want to worry about goose-related crime.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58That's claimed the most lives in Small Heath this year.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00- That's how violent they are. - So if they attack me,
0:19:00 > 0:19:02I'll be able to throw fruit them, yeah?
0:19:02 > 0:19:04If they attack you, throw what you like out of them, mate,
0:19:04 > 0:19:07they are dangerous. Oi! Stop that!
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Not now, where did you get that from?
0:19:10 > 0:19:12- Well...- Did you rob that from the...?
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Put it away, I'm paying tomorrow. It's one of my five-a-days.
0:19:15 > 0:19:16Yeah, stolen one of your five-a-days,
0:19:16 > 0:19:18there's no nutrients in that, is there?
0:19:18 > 0:19:20So you're telling me you're scared of geese?
0:19:20 > 0:19:23I'm not scared of the geese, I'm just cautious around the geese.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25- Do you know what I mean? - Why are we walking faster?
0:19:25 > 0:19:27SHE SQUAWKS How many times?
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Don't make that noise, they'll come over here.
0:19:29 > 0:19:30SHE SQUAWKS Can you stop doing that?
0:19:30 > 0:19:33He's looking this way now.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35SHE SQUAWKS Aks, can you stop that?
0:19:35 > 0:19:37I've been diagnosed with ornithophobia.
0:19:37 > 0:19:38Stop that!