Episode 1

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0:00:10 > 0:00:13Tonight on my Big Show - pop superstar Olly Murs

0:00:13 > 0:00:16hands over his phone to play Celebrity Send To All!

0:00:16 > 0:00:19There's a British television exclusive from hit new musical,

0:00:19 > 0:00:21School Of Rock!

0:00:21 > 0:00:24Music from the wonderful Ellie Goulding!

0:00:24 > 0:00:29And who will be tonight's Unexpected Star Of The Show?

0:00:29 > 0:00:34All this and so much more!

0:00:34 > 0:00:38'Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Big Show!

0:00:38 > 0:00:42'Please welcome your host, Michael McIntyre!'

0:00:50 > 0:00:52CHEERING

0:00:52 > 0:00:54MICHAEL LAUGHS

0:00:54 > 0:00:56Very good!

0:00:58 > 0:01:02Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, hello! Hi!

0:01:02 > 0:01:08And welcome to a brand-new series of my Big Show!

0:01:08 > 0:01:11CHEERING

0:01:11 > 0:01:16Oh, yes, over the next six weeks, we will have even bigger stars,

0:01:16 > 0:01:20even bigger laughs, and even bigger surprises!

0:01:20 > 0:01:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:01:24 > 0:01:26It's always a nice night out, isn't it, the theatre?

0:01:26 > 0:01:28Going to the theatre, dress up, maybe.

0:01:28 > 0:01:33It's quite expensive, you know, maybe combine it with a dinner.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35Dinner. Dinner and a show.

0:01:35 > 0:01:37Dinner and a show, it's quite a lovely evening.

0:01:37 > 0:01:40I always find it a bit weird eating, though, in the interval,

0:01:40 > 0:01:43when you eat ice cream with wood. It always feels a bit depressing.

0:01:43 > 0:01:45I've paid all this money, and now I'm having wood ice cream.

0:01:45 > 0:01:47Would you like some ice cream?

0:01:47 > 0:01:49It's like picnics. I don't see the value in a picnic.

0:01:49 > 0:01:52Because people think it's fun, don't they? "Let's have a picnic!"

0:01:52 > 0:01:55It's always a lovely moment when people want to announce the idea.

0:01:55 > 0:01:56"Oh, let's have a picnic!"

0:01:56 > 0:01:59And for some reason we're programmed, as British people,

0:01:59 > 0:02:01to be incredibly enthusiastic about the prospect.

0:02:01 > 0:02:04"Oh, yes, yes, let's have a picnic!"

0:02:04 > 0:02:07We're going to have a picnic, guys!

0:02:07 > 0:02:09And it's never fun, it's never fun.

0:02:09 > 0:02:12Just eat in your own homes, OK?

0:02:12 > 0:02:13You go out with your rug,

0:02:13 > 0:02:16you look for a place furthest away from strangers.

0:02:16 > 0:02:19"Let's not go here, they're here. Let's go over here.

0:02:19 > 0:02:22"No, they're coming over there. What about this? This seems OK."

0:02:22 > 0:02:25Just stay at home - there are no strangers there at all!

0:02:25 > 0:02:28And then off you go with your rug, it takes a few attempts,

0:02:28 > 0:02:30the wind blows it back.

0:02:30 > 0:02:33"No, come on, it's OK, no, I'll get there in the end, all right,

0:02:33 > 0:02:34"all right, jump on it!

0:02:36 > 0:02:39"You hold that bit down!"

0:02:39 > 0:02:41And then comes a very big challenge for men,

0:02:41 > 0:02:44because it doesn't matter how hard you are, how macho you are,

0:02:44 > 0:02:47it is impossible not to become extremely camp,

0:02:47 > 0:02:50as soon as you get down for the picnic.

0:02:50 > 0:02:53Men are completely restricted

0:02:53 > 0:02:54by the picnic pose.

0:02:54 > 0:02:56You can't really do...

0:02:58 > 0:03:00This is basically it.

0:03:00 > 0:03:02APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:03:04 > 0:03:06This arm is for stability,

0:03:06 > 0:03:08this one is for grazing.

0:03:08 > 0:03:10I'm just grazing.

0:03:10 > 0:03:13When I'm not grazing, it just rests here on my knee.

0:03:13 > 0:03:17I'm in a "ready to graze" situation.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19"Can you pass me the hot Coca-Cola, please?

0:03:19 > 0:03:21"I'm having such a lovely time.

0:03:21 > 0:03:23"Mmm!

0:03:23 > 0:03:25"I love hot Coca-Cola,

0:03:25 > 0:03:27"and the fear of a football hitting me in the head."

0:03:29 > 0:03:32And, of course, that's when the bees and the wasps

0:03:32 > 0:03:35start to chip in to your day, because they live outside, OK?

0:03:35 > 0:03:37So they'll start to come into your life,

0:03:37 > 0:03:40and you'll deal with the situation, I believe, as a British person,

0:03:40 > 0:03:42in one of three ways.

0:03:42 > 0:03:44You'll recognise yourself in this as we go through it.

0:03:44 > 0:03:48When a bee or a wasp buzzes into your life, "Bzzz,"

0:03:48 > 0:03:50either you are, firstly, a wafter, OK?

0:03:50 > 0:03:52You'll know who you are if you're the wafters.

0:03:52 > 0:03:55They're quite cool, by the way, if you are a wafter, you're quite cool.

0:03:55 > 0:03:56You just deal with the situation,

0:03:56 > 0:04:00"Bzzz." "OK, off you go, I don't need that." "Bzzz." "Shoo. Shoo."

0:04:00 > 0:04:03Sometimes you don't even break stride in your conversation.

0:04:03 > 0:04:08"Bzzz..." "So the other day we were..." You've just dealt with the situation. You're moving the air.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11You're not trying to hit it. "I'm just going to move the air near you..."

0:04:11 > 0:04:16"Bzzz." "..then you'll know this isn't an area where you're particularly welcome, OK?

0:04:16 > 0:04:18"I'm a wafter."

0:04:18 > 0:04:21Right, next up, secondly, you have the stay-stillers.

0:04:21 > 0:04:24Now, they are very serious people,

0:04:24 > 0:04:27and they're very adamant that their strategy is the best one

0:04:27 > 0:04:29to deal with the situation.

0:04:29 > 0:04:32"OK, nobody move, just stay completely still!

0:04:32 > 0:04:34"Don't make it angry!

0:04:34 > 0:04:36"Don't encourage it!"

0:04:36 > 0:04:40They get quite angry with the wafters - "Don't waft it!

0:04:40 > 0:04:44"You're just making it angry! You're encouraging it, don't encourage it!

0:04:44 > 0:04:47"It's not interested in us, and we're not interested in it.

0:04:47 > 0:04:48"See? It's gone now.

0:04:48 > 0:04:52"Just sit completely still and it'll get about its business, OK?"

0:04:54 > 0:04:57Then, the third way, the total panickers.

0:04:57 > 0:04:58Right?

0:04:58 > 0:04:59"Bzzz..."

0:04:59 > 0:05:00HE SCREAMS

0:05:00 > 0:05:02HYSTERICALLY: "Get it off me! Get it off me!

0:05:02 > 0:05:04"Is it off me?!" HE SCREAMS

0:05:04 > 0:05:06"I can feel it!"

0:05:06 > 0:05:08HE SCREAMS

0:05:08 > 0:05:10"Has it gone? Has it gone?!

0:05:10 > 0:05:12"Has it gone or not?!

0:05:12 > 0:05:15HE YELPS AND SCREAMS

0:05:15 > 0:05:17"I can feel it! Did it go?

0:05:17 > 0:05:19"Did you see it go? It's massive!"

0:05:19 > 0:05:22"Oh, I can still feel it, I can see it, did you see it?

0:05:22 > 0:05:23"It was massive. Oh, my God! Oh!

0:05:23 > 0:05:27"Was it a hornet? Was it a hornet?!

0:05:27 > 0:05:30"You know, if it gets you on the throat, you can die!

0:05:30 > 0:05:32"You can die!"

0:05:32 > 0:05:33That's the third way.

0:05:35 > 0:05:39Now, wafters are able to upgrade, and become total panickers.

0:05:39 > 0:05:42They allow themselves that privilege, you know?

0:05:42 > 0:05:43If things...

0:05:43 > 0:05:47If their wafting is ineffective, and the wasp keeps coming back...

0:05:47 > 0:05:48"Bzzz..."

0:05:48 > 0:05:51..then you can see them start to panic.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54HE SCREAMS

0:05:57 > 0:05:59Which is why wafters really hardly ever get stung...

0:06:01 > 0:06:03..and total panickers almost never get stung.

0:06:03 > 0:06:06You know who gets stung? The stay-stillers.

0:06:07 > 0:06:11Because they cannot break out of their seriousness.

0:06:11 > 0:06:14They are such firm believers that they have the right strategy,

0:06:14 > 0:06:15and this is why I thought of this.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17I've got a friend, he's a stay-stiller,

0:06:17 > 0:06:22and a wasp not only buzzed around him, but landed on his face.

0:06:22 > 0:06:26And he just went, "The best thing to do is stay completely still."

0:06:26 > 0:06:29"I'm not so sure about that - it's on your face!"

0:06:29 > 0:06:30"I don't want to encourage it."

0:06:30 > 0:06:34"But you're just encouraging it to crawl into your eye!

0:06:34 > 0:06:36"It's walking towards your eye!"

0:06:36 > 0:06:39He's like, "No, the best thing - it's not interested in me."

0:06:39 > 0:06:41"It seems pretty interested in you!"

0:06:43 > 0:06:44"Why don't you waft it?"

0:06:44 > 0:06:48"The worst thing I could do is waft it!

0:06:48 > 0:06:50"Just stay completely still."

0:06:50 > 0:06:53Then another one landed on the other side of his face!

0:06:53 > 0:06:56I'm like, "Dude, you now have two wasps on your face."

0:06:56 > 0:06:57And then it stung him.

0:06:57 > 0:06:59I've got to say it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen,

0:06:59 > 0:07:01because he couldn't just scream -

0:07:01 > 0:07:04he had to make out that he was still in the right. And he just went...

0:07:05 > 0:07:06SHORT SCREAM

0:07:09 > 0:07:12"It has now stung me. It's stung my face.

0:07:12 > 0:07:15"It's stung me on the face, but I think the best thing to do

0:07:15 > 0:07:18"is to not encourage it to sting me again."

0:07:19 > 0:07:23If a total panicker gets stung, you know about it. It's like...

0:07:23 > 0:07:26HE SCREAMS

0:07:26 > 0:07:28IT GOT ME!

0:07:28 > 0:07:30HE SCREAMS

0:07:30 > 0:07:32Suck it out, suck it out!

0:07:36 > 0:07:38APPLAUSE

0:07:40 > 0:07:45OK, ladies and gentlemen, who wants to play Celebrity Send To All?

0:07:45 > 0:07:46CHEERING

0:07:46 > 0:07:49Oh, yes!

0:07:49 > 0:07:53This is, of course, where I take a celebrity's mobile phone,

0:07:53 > 0:07:55send a message of my choosing to their contacts,

0:07:55 > 0:07:58and we see what fun replies they get at the end of the show.

0:07:58 > 0:08:02So let's find out who's in our Royal Send To All box this week.

0:08:02 > 0:08:05Why, it's heart-throb...

0:08:05 > 0:08:07Olly Murs - Mursy!

0:08:07 > 0:08:09- Michael!- How are you? - How are you, sir? You OK?

0:08:09 > 0:08:11- Yeah.- It's good to see you.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13Olly, tell me who you're with tonight in the box.

0:08:13 > 0:08:17- I'm with my mum. - Oh, it's Mama Murs!- Yeah.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19Hi, Mum!

0:08:19 > 0:08:20Hello.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22- My lovely sister in the middle... - Hi.

0:08:22 > 0:08:25- ..and Auntie Rachel. - Oh, hi, Auntie Rach!

0:08:25 > 0:08:28Yay, it's a family affair!

0:08:28 > 0:08:30It's the Murses!

0:08:30 > 0:08:32OLLY LAUGHS

0:08:32 > 0:08:35So, Olly, what you been up to, what's been happenin'?

0:08:35 > 0:08:37Erm... I've just been... Bit of this, bit of that.

0:08:37 > 0:08:39New music's out, new single - You Don't Know Love.

0:08:39 > 0:08:42- All your music is awesome. - That's very kind, mate, thank you.

0:08:42 > 0:08:45I like that old one, when you start with the letter, # "Dear..." #

0:08:45 > 0:08:47- # "Dear darling..." # - How did the letter go?

0:08:47 > 0:08:50# Please excuse my writing..." #

0:08:50 > 0:08:51Yeah, I love that one!

0:08:51 > 0:08:53# "Please excuse my writing..." #

0:08:53 > 0:08:57- Why didn't you type it or send a text?- I don't know why.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00- But that's what you're going to do tonight.- That's exactly right.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02I'm not going to...

0:09:02 > 0:09:04Maybe that's the text I'll send to everyone on your phone -

0:09:04 > 0:09:09# "Dear darling, please excuse my texting..." #

0:09:11 > 0:09:13I can't thank you enough for being here, and it's going to be fun.

0:09:13 > 0:09:16So if I could just ask you to place your mobile telephone

0:09:16 > 0:09:19into our little cushion there, I'll bring it down,

0:09:19 > 0:09:21and we'll play Celebrity Send To All!

0:09:21 > 0:09:22Here we go.

0:09:22 > 0:09:25MUSIC: Heart Skips a Beat by Olly Murs

0:09:25 > 0:09:30# My heart skips-skips-skips-skips skips-skips a beat... #

0:09:30 > 0:09:33OLLY LAUGHS

0:09:33 > 0:09:35Yeah!

0:09:35 > 0:09:37I love that one!

0:09:42 > 0:09:43Right, ladies and gentlemen,

0:09:43 > 0:09:47I am now in possession of Olly Murs' mobile phone, Mursy!

0:09:47 > 0:09:49CHEERING

0:09:49 > 0:09:52Right, so I'm going to plug that in here.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55- All right, so this is Olly Murs' life.- Boring.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00Uber, get me out of here!

0:10:02 > 0:10:05- I've never used it before - is it good?- I don't know!

0:10:05 > 0:10:06This is your last journey.

0:10:06 > 0:10:09- Did you have a nice trip? - It was lovely, thank you, yeah.

0:10:09 > 0:10:11Not according to that rating.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14No!

0:10:16 > 0:10:18- No, be nice.- Shall we give him five stars?- Yeah, go on.

0:10:18 > 0:10:20CHEERING

0:10:20 > 0:10:23That's very sweet, we're going to give him five stars.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27I have to book another car?

0:10:28 > 0:10:31That is hilarious. I'm going to book a car, how do I do that?

0:10:33 > 0:10:34What do I do, what do I do?

0:10:34 > 0:10:37Press the arrow, get the location.

0:10:37 > 0:10:39So that's where I am, the theatre.

0:10:39 > 0:10:41Yeah, and then you pick at the bottom which one you want to get.

0:10:41 > 0:10:44Well, of course the best one.

0:10:44 > 0:10:46- That'd be the Lux.- Lux!

0:10:48 > 0:10:49I accept the higher fare.

0:10:53 > 0:10:54My destination?

0:10:54 > 0:10:55Heaven.

0:10:59 > 0:11:02Where shall we go? We can go anywhere!

0:11:02 > 0:11:04Where do you want to go? AUDIENCE SHOUT SUGGESTIONS

0:11:04 > 0:11:05Where?

0:11:05 > 0:11:09INDISTINCT SHOUTS

0:11:09 > 0:11:11Let's go to Basildon.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18Basildon, UK. All right.

0:11:18 > 0:11:20We'll let your driver know, all right, are we on?

0:11:20 > 0:11:22Oh, there he is!

0:11:22 > 0:11:25So we have a man, Ionut Vasile.

0:11:25 > 0:11:28And he's on his way, he's in a BMW 7 series.

0:11:28 > 0:11:30- AUDIENCE:- Whoo!

0:11:30 > 0:11:33And we need to... How do I know what to give him, money?

0:11:33 > 0:11:35You pay for it at the end of the journey.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38Yeah, but they... I can't go to Basildon, I've got to...

0:11:40 > 0:11:43All right, that's that. Oh, what's that?

0:11:43 > 0:11:45Oh, these are your photos?

0:11:45 > 0:11:46Wait a minute!

0:11:46 > 0:11:48I recognise that guy!

0:11:48 > 0:11:50- That's you and Pele.- Yes.

0:11:50 > 0:11:52APPLAUSE

0:11:52 > 0:11:55- Please tell me you've got his phone number.- I haven't, unfortunately.

0:11:55 > 0:11:58If you did, we would just play Send To Pele - it would be a new game.

0:11:59 > 0:12:01- Oh, hello!- Oh, of course...

0:12:03 > 0:12:06- What's going on here then, Olly, where are you?- I was in Vegas.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08I was there for a music shoot...

0:12:08 > 0:12:09I love how you roll.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12..for a video, and then me and the lads decided to have a few days

0:12:12 > 0:12:15- celebrating birthdays. - I wish I was you! I don't have lads.

0:12:15 > 0:12:18I have me and my family.

0:12:18 > 0:12:21And we go to family friendly holidays.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25And I spend about three hours blowing that up,

0:12:25 > 0:12:26and then they don't play with it.

0:12:28 > 0:12:31Hang on, I've just received a text.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34Ionut Vasile is arriving now.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36CHEERING

0:12:37 > 0:12:40Let's get into these texts, cos your phone is too much fun already.

0:12:40 > 0:12:43I'm slightly worried about Ionut arriving. OK...

0:12:43 > 0:12:45The text, Olly,

0:12:45 > 0:12:49that I'm going to send into your phone is as follows:

0:12:49 > 0:12:52"Just going through the contacts...

0:12:53 > 0:12:54"..in my phone.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58"Really sorry...

0:13:01 > 0:13:03"but can you...

0:13:03 > 0:13:04"remind me...

0:13:06 > 0:13:08"..how I know you?

0:13:11 > 0:13:13"Or...

0:13:13 > 0:13:18"I'm going to have to...

0:13:18 > 0:13:19"delete you."

0:13:21 > 0:13:23APPLAUSE

0:13:23 > 0:13:26- Brilliant.- Oh, how would you sign your texts?

0:13:26 > 0:13:28Just a kiss.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30I'm not sure this is the right situation for kisses.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34It has to be quite a clinical Olly.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36You can pick, whatever you fancy.

0:13:36 > 0:13:38- I'll just leave it "Olly."- Yeah. - Olly, yeah, OK.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40So, let's remind ourselves of this text.

0:13:40 > 0:13:42"Just going through the contacts in my phone,

0:13:42 > 0:13:44"really sorry but can you remind me how I know you?

0:13:44 > 0:13:46"Or I'm going to have to delete you.

0:13:46 > 0:13:48"Olly."

0:13:48 > 0:13:50Shall I send that to everyone in Olly's phone?

0:13:50 > 0:13:52- AUDIENCE:- Yes! - All right!

0:13:52 > 0:13:54That... MESSAGE SENT TONE

0:13:54 > 0:13:56..has gone, ladies and gentlemen!

0:13:56 > 0:13:58APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:14:03 > 0:14:04I'm going to... OLLY CHUCKLES

0:14:04 > 0:14:06What are you doing?

0:14:12 > 0:14:15CHEERING

0:14:19 > 0:14:22Ladies and gentlemen, it's Ionut!

0:14:22 > 0:14:25Our Unexpected,

0:14:25 > 0:14:29Unexpected Star Of The show!

0:14:29 > 0:14:32I need a microphone.

0:14:32 > 0:14:34They put... They put a mic on you!

0:14:34 > 0:14:36Ionut... Am I saying that right?

0:14:36 > 0:14:37- Ionut?- Yes.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40So, listen, do you like music?

0:14:40 > 0:14:41- Of course.- Do you like pop music?

0:14:41 > 0:14:44- Everything.- If I was to say...

0:14:44 > 0:14:47# Dear darling...

0:14:47 > 0:14:50# Please excuse my writing...

0:14:50 > 0:14:54# I can't stop my hands from shaking... #

0:14:54 > 0:14:55Does that ring any bells with you?

0:14:55 > 0:14:56No!

0:14:59 > 0:15:01APPLAUSE

0:15:02 > 0:15:05This gentleman on the left - recognise him at all?

0:15:10 > 0:15:13Listen, Ionut, I want to make this worth your while.

0:15:13 > 0:15:15Is there anybody who needs to go to Basildon?

0:15:19 > 0:15:22- How much do I owe you for the trip to Basildon?- Around 200.

0:15:29 > 0:15:32Have you got a credit card, or something?

0:15:32 > 0:15:35- It's already being charged to it. - Oh, does it already get charged? - Yeah!

0:15:35 > 0:15:37Does that already get charged automatically?

0:15:37 > 0:15:40Yes. Straight away!

0:15:42 > 0:15:43But maybe you should have...

0:15:45 > 0:15:46Can we have a whip-round?

0:15:46 > 0:15:49Hold on, Ionut. I've got to... We've got to tip. We need a tip.

0:15:49 > 0:15:52Can I get a whip-round? Anything, come on. Anything.

0:15:52 > 0:15:55Get your money out. We've got 2,000 people in here.

0:15:55 > 0:15:58Don't just look at me blankly!

0:15:58 > 0:15:59Has anyone got a tenner?

0:15:59 > 0:16:01Five quid?

0:16:02 > 0:16:03Olly! Olly's mum.

0:16:03 > 0:16:05Olly's mum. Put it in the...

0:16:05 > 0:16:07Put it in the thing, Olly's mum.

0:16:12 > 0:16:14# Dear darling

0:16:14 > 0:16:16# Please excuse my... #

0:16:16 > 0:16:19OK? What have we got? Let's see how generous he is.

0:16:19 > 0:16:22# Please excuse my writing

0:16:22 > 0:16:25# I can't stop my hands from shaking... #

0:16:25 > 0:16:27Yeah, it's gone quite well!

0:16:27 > 0:16:29I got 20 quid, 20 squid!

0:16:29 > 0:16:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:16:34 > 0:16:37By the way, you smell amazing.

0:16:37 > 0:16:40What is that? What is that?

0:16:40 > 0:16:42- It's amazing.- Nice combination.

0:16:42 > 0:16:44- It's a combination?- Yes.

0:16:44 > 0:16:46Well...

0:16:46 > 0:16:48Oh, God. It's, like, really, really good.

0:16:48 > 0:16:49What's the combination?

0:16:49 > 0:16:51Wait a minute - you're combining colognes?

0:16:51 > 0:16:53- Yes.- What...

0:16:53 > 0:16:54What's the combo you're going for?

0:16:54 > 0:16:56I can't tell you now.

0:16:58 > 0:16:59You won't reveal the combo?

0:17:01 > 0:17:02- Is it in your car?- Yeah.

0:17:02 > 0:17:05All right. That's for you. I can't thank you enough.

0:17:05 > 0:17:07Ionut, thank you so much.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10Ladies and gentlemen, it's Ionut!

0:17:10 > 0:17:15The Unexpected Driver Of The Show!

0:17:15 > 0:17:17Thank you very much. Nice to meet you.

0:17:17 > 0:17:20APPLAUSE

0:17:22 > 0:17:26I cannot tell you how good that man smells.

0:17:26 > 0:17:29I was completely intoxicated - did you see my eyes go?

0:17:32 > 0:17:36I was like... I've never said to a man in my life, "You smell amazing."

0:17:36 > 0:17:40And his response was so awesome.

0:17:40 > 0:17:41"A combination."

0:17:44 > 0:17:46Tell me the combination!

0:17:50 > 0:17:52Olly, thank you so much.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55What an amazing sport is Olly Murs, ladies and gentlemen!

0:17:55 > 0:17:59We will be finding out later what responses Olly gets.

0:17:59 > 0:18:03OK. Ladies and gentlemen, what an absolute treat we have for you now.

0:18:03 > 0:18:04With an exclusive performance

0:18:04 > 0:18:06from Andrew Lloyd Webber's brand-new musical,

0:18:06 > 0:18:08playing completely live for you tonight,

0:18:08 > 0:18:12it's the magnificent kids from the School Of Rock!

0:18:12 > 0:18:14CHEERING

0:18:14 > 0:18:16One, two, three!

0:18:18 > 0:18:19Good evening, London!

0:18:19 > 0:18:23Say hello to the demon rascals from the School Of Rock!

0:18:33 > 0:18:37# When the world has screwed you and crushed you in its fist

0:18:37 > 0:18:41# When the way you're treated has got you in a twist

0:18:41 > 0:18:46# There's been one solution since the world began

0:18:46 > 0:18:50# Don't just sit and take it, stick it to the man

0:18:50 > 0:18:52# Rant and rave and scream and shout

0:18:52 > 0:18:54# Get all of your aggression out

0:18:54 > 0:18:55# They tried to stop you

0:18:55 > 0:18:58# Let 'em know exactly where they ought to go

0:18:58 > 0:19:01# And do it just as loudly as you can

0:19:01 > 0:19:03# Stick it to the man. #

0:19:03 > 0:19:07Now, if you want to rock, you got to get angry at the man!

0:19:07 > 0:19:11- # Parents overwork you - Stick it to the man!

0:19:11 > 0:19:13# Hate the way they jerk you!

0:19:13 > 0:19:15# Stick it to the man!

0:19:15 > 0:19:17# Stand up to the system!

0:19:17 > 0:19:19# Stick it to the man!

0:19:19 > 0:19:21# Rise up and resist 'em!

0:19:21 > 0:19:23# Stick it to the man!

0:19:23 > 0:19:27# Break the rules, ignore the signs and colour way outside the lines

0:19:27 > 0:19:29# Go off the script, do what you like

0:19:29 > 0:19:31# They hate it, they can take a hike

0:19:31 > 0:19:34# Why live your life with someone else's plan?

0:19:34 > 0:19:37# Stick it to the man! #

0:19:37 > 0:19:40If you're feeling angry, put some of it into your music!

0:19:45 > 0:19:48Put your hands in the air!

0:19:57 > 0:19:59Family therapy sessions!

0:19:59 > 0:20:01- # Stick it to the man! # - Good one!

0:20:01 > 0:20:03Parents all up in your Facebook!

0:20:03 > 0:20:05- # Stick it to the man! # - I hate that!

0:20:05 > 0:20:07Gluten-free vegan snack foods!

0:20:07 > 0:20:09# Stick it to the man! #

0:20:09 > 0:20:11No more Kardashians!

0:20:11 > 0:20:13# Stick it to the man!

0:20:13 > 0:20:17# Rock the house and make a scene and crank the amps to 17

0:20:17 > 0:20:19# And scream until there is a shot

0:20:19 > 0:20:22# They all can kiss your you-know-what

0:20:22 > 0:20:24# Do everything they ever tried to ban

0:20:24 > 0:20:26# Stick it to the man! #

0:20:26 > 0:20:30Good evening, London! One more time!

0:20:30 > 0:20:34# When the world has screwed you and crushed you in its fist

0:20:34 > 0:20:38# When the way you're treated has got you in a twist

0:20:38 > 0:20:42# There's been one solution since the world began

0:20:42 > 0:20:46# Don't just sit and take it - stick it to the man!

0:20:46 > 0:20:48# Rant and rave and scream and shout

0:20:48 > 0:20:50# Stick your middle finger out

0:20:50 > 0:20:53# Wreck your room and rip your jeans

0:20:53 > 0:20:55# Show them what rebellion means

0:20:55 > 0:20:58# Why march in someone else's caravan?

0:20:58 > 0:20:59# Yeah

0:20:59 > 0:21:02# Especially those we're so much cooler than

0:21:02 > 0:21:03# Yeah

0:21:03 > 0:21:06# It's time to throw it all against the ban

0:21:06 > 0:21:08# Stick it to the man

0:21:08 > 0:21:11# Stick it to the man

0:21:11 > 0:21:13# Stick it to the man

0:21:13 > 0:21:16# Stick it to the man! #

0:21:16 > 0:21:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:21:26 > 0:21:29The School Of Rock, ladies and gentlemen!

0:21:30 > 0:21:32Boom!

0:21:32 > 0:21:35Yeah, fantastic!

0:21:35 > 0:21:36Congratulations. Hi, guys.

0:21:36 > 0:21:38Hi, guys. One more time, what about that?

0:21:38 > 0:21:40The School Of Rock. Come on.

0:21:40 > 0:21:42APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Yeah!

0:21:47 > 0:21:49Now, ladies and gentlemen, it is time to find out

0:21:49 > 0:21:53who is going to be our Unexpected Star Of The Show!

0:21:53 > 0:21:56CHEERING

0:21:56 > 0:21:58So, just a reminder,

0:21:58 > 0:22:00this is where somebody comes to the theatre

0:22:00 > 0:22:02and they think they're coming here for work

0:22:02 > 0:22:04but really they have a secret desire to perform

0:22:04 > 0:22:07and we give them that opportunity on this very stage.

0:22:07 > 0:22:13So here is our Unexpected Star tonight, he is called Andy Quinn.

0:22:13 > 0:22:14Come on, let's hear it for Andy!

0:22:14 > 0:22:17APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:22:17 > 0:22:22He is 36 years old, he's from Nottingham

0:22:22 > 0:22:24and he is a firefighter.

0:22:24 > 0:22:26And doesn't he look like...? CHEERING

0:22:26 > 0:22:30Apart from the fact his cardigan looks incredibly flammable,

0:22:30 > 0:22:34he looks like he can deal with fire and fight it at any moment.

0:22:35 > 0:22:39So that's Andy. And he is coming to this office next door

0:22:39 > 0:22:42to give a fire safety talk, so that is right next door,

0:22:42 > 0:22:45and let me show you what it looks like now.

0:22:45 > 0:22:46Yes, there it is.

0:22:46 > 0:22:49It's the MMBS Training Centre Ltd,

0:22:49 > 0:22:51not a real company.

0:22:51 > 0:22:54Of course, that is in reference to the name of our television show,

0:22:54 > 0:22:56Michael McIntyre's Big Show.

0:22:56 > 0:23:01But he would have to have incredible intuition to see that and go,

0:23:01 > 0:23:02"Hang on a minute,

0:23:02 > 0:23:06"that's the abbreviation for Michael McIntyre's Big Show!"

0:23:07 > 0:23:11This is the fake room where Andy will be giving a talk,

0:23:11 > 0:23:15so we'll have six actors sitting down in these seats,

0:23:15 > 0:23:18but, of course, the real reason Andy is here is that

0:23:18 > 0:23:22he has a burning desire to perform on the West End stage

0:23:22 > 0:23:24and we're going to make his dream come true.

0:23:26 > 0:23:28Yes!

0:23:28 > 0:23:30All right.

0:23:30 > 0:23:33He has been nominated by his lovely wife Emma

0:23:33 > 0:23:36and I'm going to have a chat with her. Where are you, Emma?

0:23:36 > 0:23:39There she is. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Emma, Andy's wife.

0:23:39 > 0:23:42CHEERING Yeah!

0:23:42 > 0:23:44Yes! Emma!

0:23:44 > 0:23:47- Hello!- Is that you? - Yes.- Oh, you look divine.

0:23:47 > 0:23:51So, Emma, this is very exciting, tell us all about Andy.

0:23:51 > 0:23:54Well, he's been a firefighter for about 13 years

0:23:54 > 0:23:58and in his spare time he does amateur musical theatre.

0:23:58 > 0:24:00- Right, OK.- Every time we come to London,

0:24:00 > 0:24:03he's always saying that he wants to be on the West End stage

0:24:03 > 0:24:05and he wishes he'd had a go at it.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07- So it really is an unfulfilled passion.- Yep.

0:24:07 > 0:24:11Did he do anything to try and be in musical theatre when he was younger?

0:24:11 > 0:24:13Yeah, he went to do drama at university.

0:24:13 > 0:24:16- Right.- Then he realised that the uni lifestyle wasn't for him.

0:24:16 > 0:24:19- OK.- So he followed in his dad's footsteps...

0:24:19 > 0:24:23- Right.- ..to become a fireman instead.- Is his dad here?- Yep.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25- He's here.- Yeah!

0:24:25 > 0:24:27Hi, Dad.

0:24:27 > 0:24:28Good to see you.

0:24:29 > 0:24:31- So, you're a firefighter. - I'm retired now.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34- Have you seen him perform? - Many times, yeah.

0:24:34 > 0:24:37How do you think he'll react, then, to tonight?

0:24:37 > 0:24:41I don't, I don't know. He's... He doesn't like surprises.

0:24:49 > 0:24:52- He'll be excited!- How do you think he'll be reacting tonight?

0:24:52 > 0:24:54Erm.... I think he'll be shocked

0:24:54 > 0:24:56but I think when it's sunk in

0:24:56 > 0:24:59and he realises the opportunity that he's got...

0:24:59 > 0:25:03- But he should be good in a crisis, I mean, in...- Yeah.- ..an emergency.

0:25:05 > 0:25:07OK, thank you very much. It's Andy's wife, Emma.

0:25:07 > 0:25:09- Thank you so much.- Thank you.

0:25:09 > 0:25:11And he doesn't like surprises!

0:25:11 > 0:25:12OK.

0:25:13 > 0:25:16All right, well...

0:25:16 > 0:25:22we can now, I believe, go live to that very room and there he is.

0:25:23 > 0:25:25And he's in his uniform,

0:25:25 > 0:25:27the Nottinghamshire Fire and Rescue Service.

0:25:27 > 0:25:29Can you confirm that is your husband and son?

0:25:29 > 0:25:31Yes? There he is.

0:25:31 > 0:25:33Let's listen in for a bit.

0:25:33 > 0:25:36Most house fires will start in certain places,

0:25:36 > 0:25:38either whether it's to do with cooking or to do with electricity,

0:25:38 > 0:25:40so you can get a kitchen, it's always one, you know,

0:25:40 > 0:25:43- the living room...- Yeah. - ..there's lots of things plugged in.

0:25:43 > 0:25:45None of this is real!

0:25:45 > 0:25:46How exciting.

0:25:46 > 0:25:49OK. So, what's going to happen is someone's going to come upstairs

0:25:49 > 0:25:51when I call them up

0:25:51 > 0:25:53and say they need help getting the fire extinguishers

0:25:53 > 0:25:55and they're going to come down in through a corridor here

0:25:55 > 0:25:57and then on this stage there'll be a store room

0:25:57 > 0:26:00with the fire extinguishers in them. As soon as he gets in there,

0:26:00 > 0:26:02then a fire alarm is going to go off

0:26:02 > 0:26:05and the fire extinguishers are also going to go off

0:26:05 > 0:26:07and put foam all over him,

0:26:07 > 0:26:10then water is going to come out of the ceiling.

0:26:10 > 0:26:14And the lights will be flashing and then the walls will collapse

0:26:14 > 0:26:18and Andy will be standing there, a man who doesn't like surprises...

0:26:25 > 0:26:27Oh, dear, Dad. Who knows?

0:26:27 > 0:26:31Who knows how he's going to deal with this surprise?

0:26:31 > 0:26:34OK. And then, with a bit of luck,

0:26:34 > 0:26:36he will agree to perform at the end of this show.

0:26:36 > 0:26:38So, we're about to bring him up to the stage

0:26:38 > 0:26:40to give him this massive surprise, but first,

0:26:40 > 0:26:43we're going to have a little bit of fun,

0:26:43 > 0:26:45because two of those actors actually have microphones in their ear

0:26:45 > 0:26:48and we can communicate with them. So...

0:26:48 > 0:26:50let's see if we can talk to Richard.

0:26:50 > 0:26:55Where's Richard? Richard, if you can hear me, scratch your nose.

0:26:59 > 0:27:01Gemma, Gemma?

0:27:01 > 0:27:05If you can hear me, sneeze quite violently.

0:27:07 > 0:27:09Oh, so sorry!

0:27:11 > 0:27:13He is very unimpressed by that.

0:27:15 > 0:27:17Richard, can you have your hand up, please?

0:27:17 > 0:27:19Can you just raise your hand with a question?

0:27:21 > 0:27:24OK, Richard, your question is going to be, "I've heard the phrase,

0:27:24 > 0:27:29"there's no smoke without fire, but is that actually true?"

0:27:29 > 0:27:31I just want to ask, sorry, I've heard the phrase,

0:27:31 > 0:27:34- "There's no smoke without fire." - Yeah.

0:27:34 > 0:27:36But, like, is that actually true?

0:27:36 > 0:27:38APPLAUSE

0:27:43 > 0:27:44You can have smoke without fire.

0:27:44 > 0:27:46You can have fires that smoulder away

0:27:46 > 0:27:49without any fire for hours and hours on end.

0:27:49 > 0:27:53Can you follow this up with, "What about smoke machines in discos?"

0:27:53 > 0:27:56If you haven't got enough oxygen, it...

0:27:56 > 0:27:59Yeah, but what about smoke machines in discos?

0:28:01 > 0:28:03What about them?

0:28:11 > 0:28:15OK, Gemma, when you can, can you just say, "Coral,"

0:28:15 > 0:28:17that's the person sitting in front of you,

0:28:17 > 0:28:19"Coral's too embarrassed to ask,

0:28:19 > 0:28:22"but can you do a fireman's lift on her?"

0:28:26 > 0:28:29Once it gets the right mixture of heat, oxygen...

0:28:29 > 0:28:32Sorry, Coral, this is my friend, Coral.

0:28:32 > 0:28:34- Hello.- She's too embarrassed to ask,

0:28:34 > 0:28:37but she really wants you to do a fireman's lift on her.

0:28:38 > 0:28:41APPLAUSE

0:28:45 > 0:28:47I'm here to talk to you...

0:28:47 > 0:28:49- Just do it.- ALL:- Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!

0:28:49 > 0:28:53- CORAL:- I'm heavier than I look.- No.

0:28:53 > 0:28:56- You're not heavy!- Oh, my God. - Do you just want me to do it?

0:28:56 > 0:29:00- Yeah! "Agh, fire! Fire! Help me!" - Right, it's just a case of that.

0:29:00 > 0:29:03- Whoa! Oh, my God!- Yay!

0:29:06 > 0:29:08Woo!

0:29:08 > 0:29:10Gemma, can you say that Coral also wants to know

0:29:10 > 0:29:12if you have any photos of you in uniform?

0:29:13 > 0:29:16- Any more questions? - Coral also wants to know...

0:29:16 > 0:29:17Blooming 'eck!

0:29:17 > 0:29:20Coral wants to know if you've got any photos of you in uniform?

0:29:20 > 0:29:22She said that.

0:29:22 > 0:29:24- Probably not. - LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH

0:29:24 > 0:29:27- Funnily enough, I have one photo I keep on my...- Are you serious?

0:29:27 > 0:29:29- Come on!- No, it's of me and my dad.

0:29:29 > 0:29:31- My dad was a firefighter. - Or out of your uniform.

0:29:31 > 0:29:34All right, normal questions now, normal questions.

0:29:34 > 0:29:37- Anyway...- Yeah, shall we...? Any more questions?

0:29:37 > 0:29:42- Erm, you mentioned...- Is it about Coral?- It's not about Coral.- OK!

0:29:42 > 0:29:46OK, I think, as a husband, he behaved very admirably. Yeah.

0:29:46 > 0:29:49Didn't he? APPLAUSE

0:29:49 > 0:29:53Right. Can we bring Andy up with our little ruse?

0:29:53 > 0:29:56Hey, guys. I'm just being aware of time.

0:29:56 > 0:29:59We haven't got much longer. Have you got everything you need up here?

0:29:59 > 0:30:03- Extinguishers?- I couldn't ask one of you to just give me a hand?- Yeah!

0:30:03 > 0:30:06- Is that all right?- Yeah, no worries. - Yeah, I'll carry on.

0:30:06 > 0:30:08- General safety, mate. - If you're happy to.- Yeah.

0:30:08 > 0:30:11- I'm just aware of time. - Absolutely fine.

0:30:13 > 0:30:15So...

0:30:15 > 0:30:19It's a bit of a walk, sorry. It's just next door in our next office.

0:30:19 > 0:30:21Yeah, we keep all our stuff down this end.

0:30:21 > 0:30:23My kids are off...

0:30:23 > 0:30:25Where are they, did you say?

0:30:25 > 0:30:28INDISTINCT

0:30:28 > 0:30:30- Sorry?- Where are the girls?

0:30:30 > 0:30:32- Where are your girls, yeah? Are they back home, in bed?- Yeah.

0:30:32 > 0:30:34Yeah, it's probably late, isn't it, actually?

0:30:34 > 0:30:36If you can do me a favour. Just grab,

0:30:36 > 0:30:37there's a water one in there.

0:30:37 > 0:30:40- Yeah.- There's another one upstairs that I'll just grab.

0:30:40 > 0:30:42You'll see it as you go in. If you just grab that for me.

0:30:42 > 0:30:43Yeah, no problem.

0:30:48 > 0:30:52ALARM BLARES

0:30:52 > 0:30:54CHEERING

0:31:11 > 0:31:12Andy!

0:31:13 > 0:31:14Andy!

0:31:14 > 0:31:16MICHAEL LAUGHS

0:31:18 > 0:31:21It's Andy, ladies and gentlemen. Andy Quinn.

0:31:21 > 0:31:23CHEERING There's your wife over there.

0:31:23 > 0:31:26There's your dad. Oh, good lord, Andy!

0:31:27 > 0:31:31You are such a good firefighter

0:31:31 > 0:31:34that you have managed to avoid everything...

0:31:37 > 0:31:43Andy, this was supposed to douse you in foam and water

0:31:43 > 0:31:44and you've walked straight out.

0:31:46 > 0:31:48You're as clean as a whistle!

0:31:50 > 0:31:54- Andy, don't panic.- Yes.- Don't panic. This is my television show.

0:31:54 > 0:31:57As you can see, your wife is over there and your father

0:31:57 > 0:31:59and family and friends.

0:31:59 > 0:32:01And we are here, of course, to surprise you.

0:32:01 > 0:32:05We were hoping there was going to be a little bit more of a surprise

0:32:05 > 0:32:09- at the end.- I always mess things up. - Oh, no, you haven't at all.

0:32:09 > 0:32:11Come over here and have a chat.

0:32:11 > 0:32:13So I'm going to go with what was supposed to happen.

0:32:13 > 0:32:16- I've got a towel here...- Dry me. - ..to dry you off

0:32:16 > 0:32:19because I know you're covered in...

0:32:19 > 0:32:22APPLAUSE ..in all the foam and the water.

0:32:24 > 0:32:27Right. And, of course, here is a carpet.

0:32:27 > 0:32:30Careful not to slip because I know,

0:32:30 > 0:32:33I know your feet are supposed to be very wet.

0:32:33 > 0:32:38Now, Andy, everything you've been doing here tonight isn't real.

0:32:40 > 0:32:42That fire safety course wasn't happening.

0:32:42 > 0:32:44Those people in the course are actors.

0:32:44 > 0:32:47So I don't know if we can see... They're all in on this. Yeah.

0:32:47 > 0:32:48They're all waving.

0:32:48 > 0:32:51APPLAUSE

0:32:53 > 0:32:56Did you have any sense today that something was up?

0:32:56 > 0:32:58I don't have any sense at all, have I?

0:32:58 > 0:32:59You haven't got any sense at all?

0:32:59 > 0:33:02You had the sense to avoid everything we set up for you...

0:33:02 > 0:33:05- Yeah!- ..in the room.

0:33:05 > 0:33:07- Well done for that. So... - They're still waving.

0:33:07 > 0:33:10They're still waving. That might be on a loop.

0:33:10 > 0:33:13I don't know what's wrong with those people.

0:33:13 > 0:33:15So, tell me how you're feeling right now.

0:33:15 > 0:33:17- No idea.- Yeah, it's confusing. - Yeah.

0:33:17 > 0:33:19- You don't know what's happening, do you?- No.

0:33:19 > 0:33:21Well, you are going to be, hopefully,

0:33:21 > 0:33:25something that we call the Unexpected Star Of The Show

0:33:25 > 0:33:28which is where we bring you to this theatre,

0:33:28 > 0:33:31you're in the Theatre Royal in Drury Lane,

0:33:31 > 0:33:36and, hopefully, if you'll agree, you will be performing...

0:33:38 > 0:33:42APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:33:44 > 0:33:48..in front of over 2,000 people here.

0:33:52 > 0:33:54Now, you like performing, you like singing,

0:33:54 > 0:33:58- you like musical theatre.- I did. - You did?

0:33:58 > 0:34:00Could be the end of it tonight.

0:34:00 > 0:34:03We have a whole production lined up.

0:34:03 > 0:34:06I can't imagine more people rooting for you than we have here tonight.

0:34:06 > 0:34:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:34:08 > 0:34:10We're all on your side, Andy.

0:34:15 > 0:34:17So all that remains for me to do is to ask you, Andy,

0:34:17 > 0:34:21if you will be our Unexpected Star Of The Show tonight?

0:34:21 > 0:34:23- Yeah, yeah.- All right, he's going to do it!

0:34:23 > 0:34:25APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:34:26 > 0:34:28Ladies and gentlemen,

0:34:28 > 0:34:32it's our firefighting Unexpected Star Of The Show, Andy!

0:34:32 > 0:34:35APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:34:35 > 0:34:38All right. There you go.

0:34:40 > 0:34:41Clean as a whistle!

0:34:44 > 0:34:48Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is an international pop sensation.

0:34:48 > 0:34:51It is the absolutely wonderful, I'm so glad she's on my show,

0:34:51 > 0:34:53Ellie Goulding is here!

0:35:05 > 0:35:07# Fire and ice

0:35:07 > 0:35:09# This love is like fire and ice

0:35:09 > 0:35:12# This love is like rain and blue skies

0:35:12 > 0:35:14# This love is like sun on the rise

0:35:14 > 0:35:17# This love got me rolling the dice

0:35:17 > 0:35:19# Don't let me lose

0:35:19 > 0:35:21# Still falling for you

0:35:22 > 0:35:23# Still falling for you

0:35:24 > 0:35:27# It took us a while

0:35:27 > 0:35:29# With every breath a new day

0:35:29 > 0:35:32# With love on the line

0:35:32 > 0:35:35# We've had our share of mistakes

0:35:35 > 0:35:39# But all your flaws and scars are mine

0:35:39 > 0:35:41# Still falling for you

0:35:42 > 0:35:44# Still falling for you

0:35:44 > 0:35:46# And just like that

0:35:46 > 0:35:48# All I breathe

0:35:48 > 0:35:50# All I feel

0:35:50 > 0:35:52# You are all for me

0:35:52 > 0:35:54# I'm in

0:35:54 > 0:35:56# And just like that

0:35:56 > 0:35:58# All I breathe

0:35:58 > 0:36:01# All I feel

0:36:01 > 0:36:03# You are all for me

0:36:03 > 0:36:07# No-one can lift me, catch me the way that you do

0:36:09 > 0:36:11# I'm still falling for you

0:36:15 > 0:36:17# Brighter than gold

0:36:17 > 0:36:19# This love shining brighter than gold

0:36:19 > 0:36:21# This love is like letters in bold

0:36:21 > 0:36:24# This love is like out of control

0:36:24 > 0:36:27# This love's never growing old

0:36:27 > 0:36:29# You make it new

0:36:29 > 0:36:30# Still falling for you

0:36:32 > 0:36:34# Still falling for you

0:36:34 > 0:36:39# It took us a while cos we were young and unsure

0:36:39 > 0:36:42# With love on the line

0:36:42 > 0:36:45# What if we both would need more?

0:36:45 > 0:36:49# But all your flaws and scars are mine

0:36:49 > 0:36:50# Still falling for you

0:36:52 > 0:36:54# Still falling for you

0:36:54 > 0:36:56# And just like that

0:36:56 > 0:36:58# All I breathe

0:36:58 > 0:37:01# All I feel

0:37:01 > 0:37:03# You are all for me

0:37:03 > 0:37:05# I'm in

0:37:05 > 0:37:06# And just like that

0:37:06 > 0:37:08# All I breathe

0:37:08 > 0:37:11# All I feel

0:37:11 > 0:37:12# You are all for me

0:37:12 > 0:37:16# And no-one can lift me, catch me the way that you do

0:37:19 > 0:37:21# I'm still falling for you

0:37:21 > 0:37:23# Oh

0:37:23 > 0:37:27# Falling, crash into my arms

0:37:27 > 0:37:29# Oh, love you like this, like a first kiss

0:37:29 > 0:37:32- # Never let go - Oh

0:37:32 > 0:37:35# Falling, crash into my arms

0:37:35 > 0:37:39# Never breaking what we got

0:37:39 > 0:37:42# Still falling for you

0:37:44 > 0:37:47# Still falling for-or-or

0:37:47 > 0:37:48# And just like that

0:37:48 > 0:37:50# All I breathe

0:37:50 > 0:37:53# All I feel

0:37:53 > 0:37:55# You are all for me

0:37:55 > 0:37:57# I'm in

0:37:57 > 0:37:58# And just like that

0:37:58 > 0:38:01# All I breathe

0:38:01 > 0:38:03# All I feel

0:38:03 > 0:38:05# You are all for me

0:38:05 > 0:38:07# All for me

0:38:07 > 0:38:08# Just like that

0:38:08 > 0:38:10# All I feel is you

0:38:10 > 0:38:13# All I feel is you

0:38:13 > 0:38:15# You are all for me

0:38:15 > 0:38:18- # I'm still falling for you - Just like that

0:38:18 > 0:38:20# All I feel is you

0:38:20 > 0:38:23# All I feel is you

0:38:23 > 0:38:25# You are all for me

0:38:25 > 0:38:28# No-one can lift me, catch me the way that you do

0:38:32 > 0:38:35# I'm still falling for you. #

0:38:38 > 0:38:41APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:38:46 > 0:38:48Ellie Goulding, ladies and gentlemen!

0:38:48 > 0:38:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:38:50 > 0:38:53# Ah-ah-ah-ah! # I love you. Thank you so much.

0:38:53 > 0:38:57The wonderful, fantastic, gorgeous Ellie Goulding.

0:38:57 > 0:38:59# Ah-ah-ah-ah! #

0:38:59 > 0:39:00Thank you so much.

0:39:00 > 0:39:02# Ah-ah-ah-ah!

0:39:02 > 0:39:04# Ah-ah-ah-ah!

0:39:04 > 0:39:06# Ah-ah-ah-ah! #

0:39:08 > 0:39:12So, something that I noticed in the last series,

0:39:12 > 0:39:15because, you know, social media is a very big part of everybody's lives,

0:39:15 > 0:39:17is that people, they tweet and do Instagrams.

0:39:17 > 0:39:19I don't do this so I don't really know what it means.

0:39:19 > 0:39:22But people are always updating what they are doing in their lives and

0:39:22 > 0:39:24people here in the theatre were doing it so I thought

0:39:24 > 0:39:28we'd have a little look at what is going on with you here tonight.

0:39:28 > 0:39:30So, yes, if you've been doing that, feel a little bit tense.

0:39:30 > 0:39:33So let's see. Who are these people?

0:39:33 > 0:39:35Who are these two? Where are you?

0:39:35 > 0:39:38CHEERING There they are. These people.

0:39:38 > 0:39:39"On our way to see Mr McIntyre."

0:39:39 > 0:39:43There you are in the car, and you are wearing a comedy wig,

0:39:43 > 0:39:44is that correct?

0:39:46 > 0:39:49- Is that true or not? - That's right, yes.

0:39:49 > 0:39:51- Is that your real hair? - Yeah, that's real.

0:39:51 > 0:39:54That's fantastic. Are you boyfriend and girlfriend?

0:39:54 > 0:39:56- Yeah.- Amazing! Sorry. Sorry.

0:39:56 > 0:40:00LAUGHTER

0:40:00 > 0:40:02I was way too happy for you then.

0:40:02 > 0:40:03OK. And what are your names?

0:40:03 > 0:40:05- Jake.- Steph.

0:40:05 > 0:40:08Hi. Welcome. Thank you so much for coming.

0:40:08 > 0:40:10And that is very funny.

0:40:10 > 0:40:13Anybody else? Anybody else been posting anything?

0:40:13 > 0:40:15We've got this gentleman. Who's this? Who is this?

0:40:15 > 0:40:16"Worldies."

0:40:16 > 0:40:17LAUGHTER

0:40:17 > 0:40:21Who are these people? Down here. What does that mean, Worldies?

0:40:21 > 0:40:25- Pretty people.- Pretty people are called Worldies?

0:40:25 > 0:40:29You can't just invent terminology on the spot.

0:40:29 > 0:40:32I'm going to come down and say hi to you.

0:40:32 > 0:40:34And your name is up there, isn't it? Josh, is that you?

0:40:34 > 0:40:36"Josh Lamptey, One hour ago."

0:40:36 > 0:40:38And who's that gentleman with you?

0:40:38 > 0:40:40- It's my grandad.- Hi.

0:40:40 > 0:40:42- Hi.- Hello, there.- This is adorable! LAUGHTER

0:40:42 > 0:40:45What's your name, Grandpa?

0:40:45 > 0:40:46- Norman.- Norman.

0:40:46 > 0:40:47So you're Worldies?

0:40:47 > 0:40:49Yeah.

0:40:49 > 0:40:52- Absolutely peng. - You're what?- Peng.

0:40:52 > 0:40:56Peng. This is a completely different language

0:40:56 > 0:40:59that only your family speaks.

0:40:59 > 0:41:00Can I ask you...?

0:41:00 > 0:41:02So you post a lot on social media?

0:41:02 > 0:41:05- Yeah.- Josh.- No, I don't...

0:41:05 > 0:41:09In fact, Josh, maybe you could stand up for us.

0:41:09 > 0:41:12It's Josh, everyone, ladies and gentlemen.

0:41:12 > 0:41:15Yeah, what a fine figure of a Josh!

0:41:17 > 0:41:21So, Josh, we know that you are a bit of a poster

0:41:21 > 0:41:26- of all sorts of photos of yourself.- Oh, my...

0:41:26 > 0:41:30I wouldn't call you...shy.

0:41:32 > 0:41:34Grandpa, can you stand up?

0:41:34 > 0:41:36Ladies and gentlemen, it's Norman, Josh's grandpa.

0:41:36 > 0:41:37CHEERING

0:41:37 > 0:41:39Aw! Look at those two.

0:41:41 > 0:41:42So...

0:41:42 > 0:41:45Now, Norman, actually, Josh,

0:41:45 > 0:41:48came to us and he's very intrigued by your lifestyle on social media.

0:41:48 > 0:41:50Oh, my...

0:41:50 > 0:41:52LAUGHTER

0:41:52 > 0:41:54And he wants our help to get involved.

0:41:54 > 0:41:56MUFFLED EXCLAMATION

0:41:56 > 0:41:57LAUGHTER

0:41:57 > 0:42:01So...using your social media to inspire grandfather Norman....

0:42:01 > 0:42:02Oh, my days...

0:42:02 > 0:42:04LAUGHTER

0:42:04 > 0:42:07Norman has set up an Instagramps.

0:42:07 > 0:42:10LAUGHTER

0:42:11 > 0:42:14So let's have a little look...

0:42:14 > 0:42:16- Oh, my....- ..at one of your selfies.

0:42:16 > 0:42:17There you are.

0:42:17 > 0:42:20LAUGHTER AND CHEERING

0:42:20 > 0:42:23What a fine figure of a man you are, Josh!

0:42:23 > 0:42:25- Oh, my days, mate. - LAUGHTER

0:42:25 > 0:42:29This is the most embarrassing thing

0:42:29 > 0:42:32that has ever happened to me in my life.

0:42:32 > 0:42:36Yes, you say that, but you posted it online.

0:42:37 > 0:42:39I am such a...!

0:42:39 > 0:42:43I don't remember your privacy settings not allowing this.

0:42:43 > 0:42:46So, Norman, inspired by this, thought he would have a little go.

0:42:46 > 0:42:49LAUGHTER AND CHEERING

0:42:57 > 0:42:58Look at the guns on Norm!

0:43:00 > 0:43:04Oh, my days. There's not more, is there?

0:43:04 > 0:43:07No, no. Just a few. So...

0:43:07 > 0:43:08LAUGHTER

0:43:08 > 0:43:09Any more selfies?

0:43:09 > 0:43:10Oh, dear.

0:43:12 > 0:43:15Josh, I feel this needs some explanation.

0:43:15 > 0:43:17What are you doing here?

0:43:17 > 0:43:20Being a tool.

0:43:20 > 0:43:24I am going to get so ripped for this.

0:43:24 > 0:43:28Well, let's see how Instagramps has handled this photo.

0:43:28 > 0:43:31LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:43:42 > 0:43:44OK. Any more?

0:43:44 > 0:43:45Have you got any more of these?

0:43:45 > 0:43:47- No, no, no.- Hopefully.

0:43:47 > 0:43:49Josh hopes... Oh.

0:43:49 > 0:43:51LAUGHTER

0:43:53 > 0:43:54Mate, I'm going.

0:43:56 > 0:43:57Right.

0:43:58 > 0:44:01Oh, my days, you're going to...!

0:44:01 > 0:44:03All right, Instagramps, how did you handle this?

0:44:03 > 0:44:05Oh, my days!

0:44:05 > 0:44:09LAUGHTER AND CHEERING

0:44:20 > 0:44:23OK, now, Josh, can we just ask what do you do for a living?

0:44:23 > 0:44:25- What do you do at the moment? - I'm a student.

0:44:25 > 0:44:28- You're a student.- Yeah.- And do you do anything else? Part-time?

0:44:32 > 0:44:34Yeah.

0:44:34 > 0:44:37This is so cringey.

0:44:37 > 0:44:38What part-time job?

0:44:40 > 0:44:43- Go on, tell him. - Model.

0:44:43 > 0:44:44Ooh!

0:44:44 > 0:44:46Part-time model!

0:44:46 > 0:44:50I wonder if any of your modelling shots are in the public domain.

0:44:50 > 0:44:52Oh!

0:44:52 > 0:44:54Look at that!

0:44:54 > 0:44:58What are you thinking, what's the motivation behind this one?

0:44:58 > 0:45:01Is it you forgetting how One Potato, Two Potato goes?

0:45:01 > 0:45:04LAUGHTER

0:45:04 > 0:45:11Very cool. So what happened here is that Grandpa Norman thought he would

0:45:11 > 0:45:16try and get involved in a little bit of modelling himself.

0:45:16 > 0:45:18Let's have a look at how that played out.

0:45:22 > 0:45:24Hi, Norman, I'm Rob.

0:45:24 > 0:45:25- I'm your photographer.- Hi.

0:45:25 > 0:45:28I think the first thing to do, we'll get you into make-up.

0:45:28 > 0:45:32Make-up? You're joking.

0:45:32 > 0:45:34He's a poser, isn't he?

0:45:34 > 0:45:37- You know.- Looking really good there, Norman.

0:45:37 > 0:45:39LAUGHTER

0:45:39 > 0:45:42Give me a little bit of a pout, just like Josh would do.

0:45:42 > 0:45:44Yeah, perfect. Shoulders back.

0:45:44 > 0:45:46Very nice. Looking really dapper.

0:45:46 > 0:45:48I think these might be better than Josh's.

0:45:48 > 0:45:50I thought Norman took direction really well.

0:45:50 > 0:45:53- Can't hear you for the wind. - WIND MACHINE

0:45:53 > 0:45:54His poses were good.

0:45:54 > 0:45:58- Whoops.- To be honest, I think he gave Josh a run for his money.

0:45:58 > 0:46:02I can't compare with Josh, but it was brilliant having a try.

0:46:02 > 0:46:05Now I've got something to post on social media.

0:46:10 > 0:46:14What about that? Let's hear it for Instagramps, Norm!

0:46:14 > 0:46:17CHEERING

0:46:17 > 0:46:18Fantastic.

0:46:18 > 0:46:20Oh, my days.

0:46:20 > 0:46:23Josh, what do you want to say to your gramps?

0:46:23 > 0:46:25He's absolutely class, isn't he?

0:46:25 > 0:46:27He's cooler than me by a mile.

0:46:27 > 0:46:29- Did you enjoy that, Norm? - I did, yes.

0:46:29 > 0:46:30- I enjoyed it.- Let's...

0:46:30 > 0:46:32Have you got your phone on you now?

0:46:32 > 0:46:34Let's the three of us take a selfie

0:46:34 > 0:46:36and round this up and we'll get this out there.

0:46:36 > 0:46:38What an absolute legend.

0:46:38 > 0:46:40Let's hear it for Grandpa Norman.

0:46:40 > 0:46:42CHEERING

0:46:42 > 0:46:44And Josh!

0:46:46 > 0:46:49Yeah.

0:46:49 > 0:46:51Brilliant. Well done. Fantastic.

0:46:51 > 0:46:53Great fun. Excellent.

0:46:53 > 0:46:55Instagramps, ladies and gentlemen.

0:46:55 > 0:46:59CHEERING

0:46:59 > 0:47:02That was fun. "Oh, my days!"

0:47:02 > 0:47:03LAUGHTER

0:47:03 > 0:47:06"Oh, my days!"

0:47:07 > 0:47:10OK, ladies and gentlemen, it is now

0:47:10 > 0:47:15time to play Celebrity Send To All.

0:47:15 > 0:47:19Earlier tonight, pop superstar Olly Murs agreed to hand over his phone,

0:47:19 > 0:47:22and I sent a text message to his contacts.

0:47:22 > 0:47:24This is the message that I sent.

0:47:24 > 0:47:27"Just going through the contacts in my phone.

0:47:27 > 0:47:30"Really sorry but can you remind me how I know you

0:47:30 > 0:47:33"or I'm going to have to delete you. Olly."

0:47:33 > 0:47:38Well, replies have been flooding in, and it is now time to find out what

0:47:38 > 0:47:40- has happened.- Oh, no.

0:47:40 > 0:47:43All right, so let's see what we've got here.

0:47:43 > 0:47:45It's a great one. Scotty Neighbour.

0:47:45 > 0:47:47What do you think Scotty Neighbour put?

0:47:47 > 0:47:49- I haven't got a clue. - I think it's quite obvious.

0:47:49 > 0:47:51"Scott. I live next door."

0:47:51 > 0:47:53LAUGHTER

0:47:57 > 0:48:00- Oh, God.- Chris Moyles.

0:48:00 > 0:48:02Great response from Chris Moyles.

0:48:02 > 0:48:05"My name is Lola and I'm a showgirl."

0:48:05 > 0:48:08LAUGHTER

0:48:12 > 0:48:15- Waggy? - Yeah... Wag does...

0:48:15 > 0:48:18He is a mate of mine for years, but he cleans my cars for me.

0:48:18 > 0:48:23Yeah. He cleans them. No, it's what he does for a job.

0:48:23 > 0:48:24He does valeting and all that.

0:48:24 > 0:48:27I didn't just say to him, "Can you clean my cars?"

0:48:27 > 0:48:29LAUGHTER

0:48:29 > 0:48:32- He does it for a job.- But he's first and foremost a friend?

0:48:32 > 0:48:34- Yeah, he's a friend. - Backed up by this text.

0:48:34 > 0:48:36"It's Adam, Waggy, I clean your cars."

0:48:36 > 0:48:39You're joking?!

0:48:39 > 0:48:41LAUGHTER

0:48:43 > 0:48:45Melvin? Melvin Odoom.

0:48:45 > 0:48:48Yes, love Melv. Yeah, good lad.

0:48:48 > 0:48:50"Ha-ha, it's Melvin Odoom."

0:48:50 > 0:48:56And then he's put - "from KISS FM/Xtra Factor/Strictly, bro.

0:48:56 > 0:48:57"Please don't delete me."

0:48:57 > 0:48:59LAUGHTER

0:48:59 > 0:49:01He's listed all his credits.

0:49:01 > 0:49:03Love Melv.

0:49:03 > 0:49:07"Name one more TV credit

0:49:07 > 0:49:12"or it's delete city."

0:49:12 > 0:49:14LAUGHTER

0:49:18 > 0:49:20Are you actually sending this back?

0:49:20 > 0:49:22I don't know, it's up to the audience.

0:49:22 > 0:49:24- AUDIENCE:- YES!

0:49:24 > 0:49:25OK, that's gone to Melvin.

0:49:25 > 0:49:27LAUGHTER

0:49:27 > 0:49:28Delivered.

0:49:28 > 0:49:31- Kirk, Kirk Setford. - Another close mate.

0:49:31 > 0:49:34"Cheeky. I played football for you for years

0:49:34 > 0:49:37"and hung out before you could sing and pull birds."

0:49:37 > 0:49:39LAUGHTER

0:49:44 > 0:49:47That's how it's all gone for you, my friend!

0:49:47 > 0:49:48John Pollard, who's that?

0:49:48 > 0:49:50That's my uncle.

0:49:50 > 0:49:51- Your uncle?- Rachel's husband.

0:49:51 > 0:49:53This is your husband, John Pollard?

0:49:53 > 0:49:57And you're here tonight and he's texted - "Who is this?

0:49:57 > 0:49:59"I don't seem to have your number."

0:49:59 > 0:50:01LAUGHTER

0:50:01 > 0:50:03You're joking?! That's my uncle!

0:50:08 > 0:50:10He's having a wind-up.

0:50:10 > 0:50:13- Slates. Oh, he sounds like a good mate.- Yeah, Slates is cool.

0:50:13 > 0:50:16He's just gone - "Murs, it's Slates. Don't delete me."

0:50:16 > 0:50:18LAUGHTER

0:50:18 > 0:50:19OK. Rochelle.

0:50:19 > 0:50:21This is a great one. Rochelle.

0:50:21 > 0:50:23Marvin and Rochelle. Love Rochelle.

0:50:23 > 0:50:26"Murs, you're so showbiz these days.

0:50:26 > 0:50:29"Rochelle? The brown one from The Saturdays?"

0:50:29 > 0:50:31LAUGHTER

0:50:31 > 0:50:33There's more, there's more.

0:50:35 > 0:50:39"That married that rather tall, annoying guy from JLS."

0:50:39 > 0:50:43LAUGHTER

0:50:43 > 0:50:44I love Rochelle.

0:50:44 > 0:50:49I think Olly Murs has been an incredible sport, don't you?

0:50:49 > 0:50:52- I think he's a legend. It's Olly Murs, legend!- Thank you.

0:50:52 > 0:50:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:50:56 > 0:50:59Thank you so much, Olly. OK, ladies and gentlemen,

0:50:59 > 0:51:03we are moments away now from our unexpected star performance,

0:51:03 > 0:51:05but before we introduce him,

0:51:05 > 0:51:07let's have a little look at how he's been getting on.

0:51:09 > 0:51:11I came to London to do a fire safety tour.

0:51:11 > 0:51:14Went to get a fire extinguisher and somehow ended up

0:51:14 > 0:51:17on Michael McIntyre's show. Now I've got to sing a song.

0:51:20 > 0:51:23Yeah, I still don't know what's hit me. I'm not prepared.

0:51:23 > 0:51:25I'm coming to terms with it, I think.

0:51:25 > 0:51:28Andy came in, obviously still in shock from what had just happened.

0:51:28 > 0:51:30He's out of his comfort zone,

0:51:30 > 0:51:32cos he's never been on the West End and it's a dream of his.

0:51:32 > 0:51:36- HE WARMS UP - How am I feeling about the song?

0:51:36 > 0:51:37The song's got a lot of dynamics in it,

0:51:37 > 0:51:40it's very powerful and very soft at the same time,

0:51:40 > 0:51:42so that's probably what's the most concerning thing.

0:51:42 > 0:51:45We need to get you to wardrobe.

0:51:45 > 0:51:48This has been something I've talked about for years,

0:51:48 > 0:51:50never for one minute thought it would happen.

0:51:50 > 0:51:53I'm excited about singing to my family and some good friends in the

0:51:53 > 0:51:57audience. I've just got to go out and give it my all and hope that

0:51:57 > 0:51:59when I look back at the end of it, I'm happy.

0:52:03 > 0:52:05That's all been going on.

0:52:06 > 0:52:09Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for the wonderful,

0:52:09 > 0:52:13our unexpected star of tonight's show, it's firefighter Andy.

0:52:13 > 0:52:16CHEERING

0:52:16 > 0:52:19MUSIC: Bring Him Home from Les Miserables

0:52:27 > 0:52:32# God on high... #

0:52:32 > 0:52:34APPLAUSE

0:52:34 > 0:52:39# Hear my prayer

0:52:41 > 0:52:46# In my need

0:52:46 > 0:52:53# You have always been there

0:52:53 > 0:52:59# He is young

0:52:59 > 0:53:06# He's afraid

0:53:07 > 0:53:12# Let him rest

0:53:12 > 0:53:19# Heaven blessed

0:53:19 > 0:53:25# Bring him home

0:53:25 > 0:53:29# Bring him home... # APPLAUSE

0:53:32 > 0:53:36# Bring him home

0:53:36 > 0:53:42# He's like the son I might have known

0:53:42 > 0:53:47# If God had granted me a son

0:53:47 > 0:53:51# The summers die

0:53:51 > 0:53:53# One by one

0:53:53 > 0:53:57# How soon they fly

0:53:57 > 0:54:00# On and on

0:54:00 > 0:54:03# And I am old

0:54:03 > 0:54:09# And will be gone

0:54:09 > 0:54:16# Bring him peace

0:54:16 > 0:54:22# Bring him joy

0:54:22 > 0:54:29# He is young

0:54:29 > 0:54:35# He is only a boy

0:54:35 > 0:54:41# You can take... # APPLAUSE

0:54:41 > 0:54:47# You can give

0:54:49 > 0:54:54# Let him be

0:54:54 > 0:55:01# Let him live

0:55:01 > 0:55:07# If I die

0:55:07 > 0:55:11# Let me die

0:55:14 > 0:55:18# Let him live

0:55:20 > 0:55:26# Bring him home

0:55:26 > 0:55:33# Bring him home

0:55:33 > 0:55:36# Bring him

0:55:36 > 0:55:41# Home! #

0:55:41 > 0:55:48CHEERING

0:56:00 > 0:56:03Come on, let's go and see him.

0:56:13 > 0:56:16CHEERING

0:56:19 > 0:56:24CHEERING CONTINUES

0:56:34 > 0:56:36Ladies and gentlemen, what about that?

0:56:36 > 0:56:40Our unexpected Star Of The Show. Fireman Andy!

0:56:40 > 0:56:42Incredible!

0:56:43 > 0:56:45That was truly remarkable.

0:56:45 > 0:56:47How did that feel?

0:56:47 > 0:56:50- It felt all right, yeah. - Did you enjoy it?

0:56:50 > 0:56:51Yeah, I enjoy it now.

0:56:51 > 0:56:53Now it's done.

0:56:53 > 0:56:56Dad, how did you feel watching that?

0:56:56 > 0:56:58I'm blown away, mate, blown away.

0:56:58 > 0:57:00Yeah.

0:57:00 > 0:57:02Very, very talented.

0:57:02 > 0:57:04- Is this Mum?- It's Mum.

0:57:04 > 0:57:07- How did you enjoy that? - It was just amazing.

0:57:07 > 0:57:10I've never, ever heard him sing that song and I've always wanted to hear

0:57:10 > 0:57:13- him sing it.- Yeah. It's beautiful.

0:57:13 > 0:57:17Well, let's talk to the lady who does get to bring him home.

0:57:17 > 0:57:20LAUGHTER

0:57:20 > 0:57:23- How did you enjoy that, Emma? - Oh, I'm just so proud of you.

0:57:23 > 0:57:25I hope it was all that you wanted it to be, was it?

0:57:25 > 0:57:29- Yeah.- Ladies and gentlemen, one more time, absolutely fantastic,

0:57:29 > 0:57:30our Unexpected Star Of The Show.

0:57:30 > 0:57:33It's fireman Andy and his family, wonderful!

0:57:33 > 0:57:35Go and enjoy the moment.

0:57:39 > 0:57:40Ladies and gentlemen,

0:57:40 > 0:57:43please give it up for everybody we've had on tonight.

0:57:43 > 0:57:46We will see you again next week for another Big Show!

0:57:46 > 0:57:48APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:57:48 > 0:57:50Until then, thank you very much.