0:00:10 > 0:00:12Tonight on my Big Show...
0:00:12 > 0:00:16Olympic hero Rebecca Adlington plays Celebrity Send To All!
0:00:16 > 0:00:19There's music from pop legend Rick Astley
0:00:19 > 0:00:22and pop sensation Olly Murs.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25There's comedy from rising star, Al Porter.
0:00:25 > 0:00:29And who will be tonight's Unexpected Star of the show?
0:00:29 > 0:00:33All this and so much more.
0:00:33 > 0:00:38- ANNOUNCER:- Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Big Show!
0:00:38 > 0:00:42Please welcome your host, Michael McIntyre!
0:00:42 > 0:00:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:57 > 0:01:00MICHAEL LAUGHS
0:01:00 > 0:01:01APPLAUSE CONTINUES
0:01:01 > 0:01:07Good evening, ladies and gentlemen and welcome...to my Big Show!
0:01:07 > 0:01:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Tonight we have an absolutely incredible
0:01:14 > 0:01:16show for your entertainment.
0:01:16 > 0:01:17WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:19 > 0:01:23We're going to have some big stars, big laughs and big surprises! Yay!
0:01:23 > 0:01:24APPLAUSE
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Now, I'm a comedian, I make jokes.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32And when I see people in real life, sometimes I make a joke,
0:01:32 > 0:01:35and, you know, I like those moments, cos they go, "Oh, that's funny!
0:01:35 > 0:01:38"Oh, you're like, you're funny! You're funny in real life."
0:01:38 > 0:01:41I made a joke in the airport and I thought it was funny,
0:01:41 > 0:01:44and this woman, she just tutted and rolled her eyes at me.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48Maybe it wasn't funny. I'm going to run it by you, OK?
0:01:48 > 0:01:51I was in duty free. You know in duty free it's always
0:01:51 > 0:01:53very weird, because they ask for your boarding pass,
0:01:53 > 0:01:56which is always an odd situation when you're paying for something.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59You know, you want... You're in the shop and you go, "Can I get this?"
0:01:59 > 0:02:01And they go, "Can I see your boarding pass, please?"
0:02:01 > 0:02:04You have to prove you're flying on an aeroplane, even though you're in an airport.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06You have to go, "Yes, I am flying on an aeroplane."
0:02:06 > 0:02:08I don't know what they're suggesting, you know,
0:02:08 > 0:02:10what's the accusation here?
0:02:10 > 0:02:13That I've driven to Gatwick Terminal North,
0:02:13 > 0:02:15that I've parked in a long stay car park,
0:02:15 > 0:02:18I've taken a shuttle bus to the terminal,
0:02:18 > 0:02:23then I've breached the most stringent security measures there's ever been without a ticket to fly?
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Just so I can visit this Pret A Manger?
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Is that really what you think I've done?
0:02:27 > 0:02:29LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:02:29 > 0:02:35Do you have any idea how many Pret A Mangers I drove past
0:02:35 > 0:02:36to get to this one?
0:02:36 > 0:02:39No, no, not that one. I like the one at Gatwick!
0:02:39 > 0:02:41LAUGHTER
0:02:42 > 0:02:44So, anyway, I'm in this shop and I thought I'd buy my son
0:02:44 > 0:02:47a little present, as a token of being away, you know, a gesture.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50So, I'm in duty free and I got him this little plane,
0:02:50 > 0:02:53just a little toy plane, you know, little cheap rubbish, but you know...
0:02:53 > 0:02:55I put it on the counter and the woman said,
0:02:55 > 0:02:57"Can I see your boarding pass?"
0:02:57 > 0:02:59And I said, "I'm not getting on it."
0:02:59 > 0:03:01LAUGHTER Now, that's not hilarious...
0:03:01 > 0:03:04But it's not a tut and an eye roll, is it?
0:03:04 > 0:03:06LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Yeah, well, you're my people.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Now, they don't know how many parents we've got in here tonight
0:03:14 > 0:03:17but long journeys are a lot better with children since the iPad.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19IPads, they're a real game-changer for parents,
0:03:19 > 0:03:22they're like little magical devices, aren't they?
0:03:22 > 0:03:25That shut your children up at any time, day or night.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27It's amazing, my eldest, he wakes up at around 5:30,
0:03:27 > 0:03:30six o'clock in the morning, he runs into our bedroom, "Morning!"
0:03:30 > 0:03:32I'm like, not for me and I just Frisbee an iPad.
0:03:32 > 0:03:33Go on, off you go.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34LAUGHTER
0:03:34 > 0:03:3788% battery, I'll see you in at least two hours.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39I'm going back to sleep.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Sit by the plug, charge it, I'll see you next Thursday.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46They're so lucky, children of today,
0:03:46 > 0:03:50they've got iPods and iPads and iPhones. In our day, we had I Spy.
0:03:50 > 0:03:56How awful was our lives compared to the lives of our children?
0:03:56 > 0:04:00How boring was I Spy? Something beginning with...
0:04:00 > 0:04:02C. Is it car?
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Yes, it is car. Dad, your turn.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08How about if we include things inside the vehicle?
0:04:08 > 0:04:09LAUGHTER
0:04:09 > 0:04:12I played Thumb War with my son recently.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15I said, "Do you want to play Thumb War?" He's 11, he's like, "Shall I download it?"
0:04:15 > 0:04:17"No, you can't download Thumb War.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19"This is a battle between my thumb and your thumb."
0:04:19 > 0:04:21So I showed him how to play it.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23You interlock your hands like this and you jockey for position.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26You have to declare it, you can't just go straight into battle.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29One, two, three, four, I declare... Thumb War!
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Then you try and hold the other person's thumb down,
0:04:31 > 0:04:35I thought I'd go easy on him cos I've got my big daddy thumb, he's got his little 11-year-old thumb,
0:04:35 > 0:04:38but of course, I don't realise, he's been texting since he was born.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41He was some kind of Thumb War ninja.
0:04:41 > 0:04:42I couldn't even see his thumb moving.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44IMITATES MACHINE-GUN FIRE
0:04:44 > 0:04:48I just get beaten over and over again. Agh! Get off! Get back on the iPad! Ow!
0:04:48 > 0:04:52LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:04:54 > 0:04:58Now, ladies and gentlemen, it is time to find out
0:04:58 > 0:05:03who will be tonight's Unexpected Star of the show.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:05:06 > 0:05:10So, this is Verity Carlo.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13There she is. That's Verity. CHEERING
0:05:13 > 0:05:17She's a part-time barmaid and is now training to be a teacher.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21She's coming to our fake shop front at the back of the theatre,
0:05:21 > 0:05:23and this is what it looked like earlier today,
0:05:23 > 0:05:25and this is what it is like now.
0:05:25 > 0:05:29It's an art gallery. We've called it Framed. Hello!
0:05:29 > 0:05:31LAUGHTER
0:05:31 > 0:05:34And there's going to be an exhibition via an artist,
0:05:34 > 0:05:36he's called "Rupet Dexta",
0:05:36 > 0:05:39which is the best I could do to make an anagram out of Unexpected Star.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41There are several letters missing.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43LAUGHTER
0:05:43 > 0:05:45So, she's working there tonight.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47I'm going to show you around, actually, I think.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50And she's been told that all the works of art, it's modern art,
0:05:50 > 0:05:52everything's worth thousands of pounds, but actually,
0:05:52 > 0:05:54it's worthless, nothing is worth anything...
0:05:54 > 0:05:57LAUGHTER It's junk.
0:05:57 > 0:05:58LAUGHTER
0:05:58 > 0:05:59Those paintings there,
0:05:59 > 0:06:01they've actually been done by three-year-olds.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05Three-year-olds who aren't even particularly good at art, OK?
0:06:05 > 0:06:07So these are...
0:06:07 > 0:06:10LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH
0:06:10 > 0:06:13They've all got really poncey names as well.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Yeah, this is called Deceased.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19That's by Rupet Dexta, £2,000, the batteries. There's another...
0:06:19 > 0:06:23LAUGHTER
0:06:23 > 0:06:24It's junk!
0:06:24 > 0:06:26APPLAUSE
0:06:27 > 0:06:31All right. Do we have a picture of the black, the black painting?
0:06:31 > 0:06:35All right, so here, it's just a painting that's black.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39When he comes in, the artist, I'm going to get him to go mad
0:06:39 > 0:06:42with, um, Verity, but it's the wrong way round, so...
0:06:42 > 0:06:44LAUGHTER
0:06:44 > 0:06:46APPLAUSE
0:06:49 > 0:06:52But of course, I know that Verity loves to sing.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55But she's only ever sung in the car, in the shower,
0:06:55 > 0:06:58a little bit of karaoke, so her friends wanted to give her
0:06:58 > 0:07:00a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03And I believe her fiance is here?
0:07:03 > 0:07:06- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!- Mark? Where's Mark?
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Hello, Mark. Look at you, Marky!
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Ladies and gentlemen, say hi to Mark if you can see Mark.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:07:14 > 0:07:20- So, Mark...- Yes? - You are Verity's fiance.- Yes.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22So, tell me about Verity.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25We got engaged two months ago, so, yeah, when we was on holiday, so...
0:07:25 > 0:07:27- Yeah.- Very good. WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE
0:07:27 > 0:07:30- All planned? You had the ring and everything?- All planned.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33- All planned.- Everybody knew apart from her, obviously, so, yeah...
0:07:33 > 0:07:36- Yeah, that's the best way to go about it.- Obviously.
0:07:36 > 0:07:40How do you think she's going to react to all the fun we've lined up for her?
0:07:40 > 0:07:41Yeah, she's going to be shocked.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43So she's told you that she's coming to work...?
0:07:43 > 0:07:47- Yeah, as a waitress for the evening, um, at an art gallery, so...- OK.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50- And she's with her friend, Rachel, is that right?- Rachel.
0:07:50 > 0:07:51Who's in on it, so she's...
0:07:51 > 0:07:54- Rachel's been the main sort of planner for it.- OK.
0:07:54 > 0:07:58- And I gather her parents are here, is that right?- Yeah, her mum and dad are here.- Mum and Dad? Hi, Dad.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Nice to see you, hi. How do you think Verity's going to perform?
0:08:01 > 0:08:05- Do you think she's going to be able to handle it? - She's going to kill him.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07All right, let's see how it goes.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Thank you so much for putting her forward for this.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13Let's give a big round of applause for Mark and Verity's mum and dad! APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:08:13 > 0:08:14All right.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19It's on.
0:08:19 > 0:08:24OK, so, I think we can go live to the art gallery now and see,
0:08:24 > 0:08:25hopefully...
0:08:25 > 0:08:26Oh!
0:08:26 > 0:08:31Can you confirm that that is your future bride, Verity?
0:08:31 > 0:08:33There she is?
0:08:33 > 0:08:37OK. She looks like she's having the most boring day.
0:08:37 > 0:08:38LAUGHTER
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Now...in with her there is Gemma.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Gemma, if you can hear me,
0:08:43 > 0:08:46take a crafty sip of that alcohol on the table there.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48I'm just going to...
0:08:48 > 0:08:50LAUGHTER
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Look at Verity's face.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55- You've got to, haven't you?- Love it.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58That's just taken the edge off.
0:08:59 > 0:09:03Gemma, ask Verity what she honestly thinks of the art?
0:09:03 > 0:09:06What do you honestly think of all this art?
0:09:08 > 0:09:09It's horrendous?
0:09:13 > 0:09:14LAUGHTER
0:09:15 > 0:09:17APPLAUSE
0:09:19 > 0:09:21I agree. How much would you pay for that?
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Gemma, why don't we nick the batteries and just say,
0:09:38 > 0:09:39"Batteries not included."
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Why don't we just nick the batteries and say, "Batteries not included."
0:09:46 > 0:09:49I think that'll make it worth more.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Gemma, say, "Have you met the artist?"
0:09:51 > 0:09:53- You've not met Rupert, have you?- No.
0:09:53 > 0:09:54No.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57- 'He is...'- OK. I'll be honest now. - '..one of the most annoying...'
0:09:57 > 0:10:01- He's one of the most annoying... - '..men, I've ever met.'
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- Men, I've ever met.- In what sense?
0:10:04 > 0:10:05'Completely embarrassing.'
0:10:05 > 0:10:09- Just completely embarrassing. - 'He thinks he's a character...'
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Well, he thinks he's a character, right, but...
0:10:12 > 0:10:15- 'He's a joke.' - He's a joke.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18- 'He's just a wally.' - He's just a wally.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20'Try not to laugh when you meet him.'
0:10:20 > 0:10:23OK, seriously, try not to laugh when you meet him, OK?
0:10:24 > 0:10:26I don't know, who knows?
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Who knows?
0:10:28 > 0:10:30OK, send in Rupert.
0:10:32 > 0:10:33Oh!
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Hi, I'm Rupert.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40This is all me.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43- Hi, there, we met.- Hello... Gemma.- Gemma, yeah.
0:10:43 > 0:10:44- Hello.- Hi.- And...?
0:10:44 > 0:10:46I'm Verity.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49- Verity, a pleasure to meet you. And, you are?- Rachel.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52- Rachel?- Yes.- Lovely. - Lovely to meet you.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Rupert, stare at the black painting and go, "Oh, no!"
0:10:56 > 0:10:57Oh!
0:10:58 > 0:11:00It's upside down.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02This is upside down.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Fix it, fix it, I can't even look.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09- I'm not even going to look. - I'm so sorry.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12- It's such a big day for me. - Yeah, I know.
0:11:12 > 0:11:13Please, please, just turn it the right way up.
0:11:13 > 0:11:17It's upside down at the moment. Ladies, can you just do that.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Can you just sort it and turn it upside down.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22It's all right, it's all right. It's going to be fine. Just breathe.
0:11:22 > 0:11:23Don't worry.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26If you turn it...
0:11:28 > 0:11:30You can look.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33OK, slowly walk over and say, "It's perfect".
0:11:39 > 0:11:40No, no, no,...
0:11:42 > 0:11:44That's perfect.
0:11:44 > 0:11:45LAUGHTER
0:11:45 > 0:11:47Thank you so much.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Can you ask, ask Verity, say,
0:11:57 > 0:12:00"Honestly, what do you think of my work?"
0:12:00 > 0:12:03Honestly, what do you think of my work?
0:12:03 > 0:12:05It's very interesting.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10I've never seen anything like it before.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14That's my favourite piece.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16- This?- Yes, it's very good.
0:12:16 > 0:12:20This is, I think, a very powerful piece.
0:12:20 > 0:12:21One of my favourites.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23This is 18 months.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29Say, "You're going to get your head together, I'll see you later."
0:12:29 > 0:12:30If it's all right with you,
0:12:30 > 0:12:33- I'm just going to get my head together...- Sure.
0:12:33 > 0:12:34And bring in some of the work.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37- 'It's a very big night for me.' - Great.- It's a very important...
0:12:37 > 0:12:40- 'I thank you for being part of it.' - Thank you all for being part of it.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43That's great. We're pleased to meet you.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46- 'Thank you.'- Thank you.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58So now people are going to come to the exhibition and then we're
0:12:58 > 0:13:01going to call her up to the stage to get some champagne
0:13:01 > 0:13:05and then the walls will collapse and we're going to give her the biggest surprise of her life.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08All I need you to do is be as quiet as you can when she's coming
0:13:08 > 0:13:11up and then as soon as the walls come down,
0:13:11 > 0:13:14you have to go completely nuts
0:13:14 > 0:13:17to give her the maximum shock.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20And, of course, I will immediately direct her towards her loved ones
0:13:20 > 0:13:23so she can relax because she seems a little feisty.
0:13:23 > 0:13:24LAUGHTER
0:13:24 > 0:13:27I wondering whether she's just going to knock me out cold.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Right, we're all set. It's happening.
0:13:33 > 0:13:34So...
0:13:34 > 0:13:36This is our fake room.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39So that is in there
0:13:39 > 0:13:42and she's going to be sent up there to get more, I think, champagne.
0:13:42 > 0:13:43That's the door that over there
0:13:43 > 0:13:46and then those walls collapse and then we're going to give her
0:13:46 > 0:13:48this amazing surprise.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50OK, so let's bring her up.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Hello, everybody. Is it all right?
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Rupert, thank you for coming down, much appreciated.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58An absolute pleasure. It calls for a bit of champagne.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Can I just grab someone to... Do you just mind giving me a...
0:14:00 > 0:14:03- I'm not very good at carrying stuff.- I'll give you a hand. Let's take a tray.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06WHISPERS: She's coming, she's coming. So far, so good.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Shhhh.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Basically there's a few more people coming down
0:14:13 > 0:14:17and I just think there's one person who's coming down
0:14:17 > 0:14:21who's got quite a bit of money and they might want to buy something.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23If we could turn it into a bit more of a gathering,
0:14:23 > 0:14:25- a bit more of a party...- Mmm.
0:14:25 > 0:14:26We might be all right.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30So, yeah, if I get the champagne.
0:14:33 > 0:14:34Ah, yeah, the tray's in here.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37If you can just get one of them trays... We'll use that one.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39And just fill that with a few flute glasses.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42I'll just get the champagne, I'll be back in a minute.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:14:47 > 0:14:50What?!
0:15:10 > 0:15:12How did I get here?
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Ladies and gentlemen,
0:15:15 > 0:15:17it's our Unexpected Star Of The Show, Verity!
0:15:17 > 0:15:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:21 > 0:15:22Come on.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Come and join me.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28Oh, dear, Verity,
0:15:28 > 0:15:31look it's your fiance, Mark.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33There's Mum and Dad.
0:15:33 > 0:15:34Who did this?
0:15:36 > 0:15:40Well, tonight, Verity... You've been working next-door?
0:15:40 > 0:15:41Yeah.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43- How's that been going? - Yeah, it was awful.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48So, Verity, Rachel who's been in on this whole thing
0:15:48 > 0:15:51has got in touch with us and said that you like singing.
0:15:54 > 0:15:55There they all are.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58None of those people are real. Er...
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Oh, my God!
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Rupert, as you may have guessed...
0:16:02 > 0:16:05- He's ridiculous. - ..is not an artist.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07For God's sake, he was dreadful.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10He's been putting you on the spot, and said, "What do you think?"
0:16:10 > 0:16:12You said, "Interesting,"
0:16:12 > 0:16:14which I thought was the most polite way of saying...
0:16:14 > 0:16:16- Terrible.- Terrible.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19- So the plan is, Verity...- Mmm.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23You would be taken backstage and you've got to the end of the
0:16:23 > 0:16:27show to prepare a performance, quite an exciting performance.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30It will be you on this stage for all these people singing.
0:16:33 > 0:16:352,000 people...
0:16:35 > 0:16:37- My, God.- ..who are very much rooting for you.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40Verity, I just have to ask you to confirm.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Will you be tonight's Unexpected Star Of The Show.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44- I'd love to be, thank you.- Yeah!
0:16:44 > 0:16:47APPLAUSE
0:16:47 > 0:16:50Ladies and gentlemen, it's Verity our Unexpected Star Of The Show!
0:16:50 > 0:16:53Brilliant, thank you so much.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55All right.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01My next guest, ladies and gentlemen
0:17:01 > 0:17:03is an '80s icon.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05- AUDIENCE:- Whoo!
0:17:05 > 0:17:10Who retired in 1993 having sold over 40 million records.
0:17:12 > 0:17:16Now he is back with a number one album
0:17:16 > 0:17:20and I love this new song and you're going to love it too.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22It's Rick Astley, ladies and gentlemen!
0:17:22 > 0:17:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Here we go.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36# If you're ever gonna make this work
0:17:38 > 0:17:42# You gotta pick yourself up from out of the dirt
0:17:42 > 0:17:46# You might need someone to give you a helping hand
0:17:46 > 0:17:51# Show you what to do, make you understand
0:17:52 > 0:17:55# Well you never thought that you would fall
0:17:56 > 0:18:00# Now you're on your knees and you're about ready to crawl
0:18:01 > 0:18:06# You need someone to rid you of your disease
0:18:06 > 0:18:10# I'll tell you what to do, show you how to be
0:18:10 > 0:18:12# If you pray with me
0:18:12 > 0:18:15# On your knees under the willow trees
0:18:15 > 0:18:19# And pray with me for what we need
0:18:19 > 0:18:22# Might not be money, it might not be gold
0:18:22 > 0:18:24# Let your love release your soul
0:18:24 > 0:18:26# Come on and pray
0:18:26 > 0:18:29# Won't you pray
0:18:29 > 0:18:30# With me...
0:18:32 > 0:18:34# Lordy, lordy, lordy
0:18:37 > 0:18:39# Lordy, lordy, lordy
0:18:40 > 0:18:43# There's electric in your veins
0:18:43 > 0:18:48# It's burning you up and you can't stand the pain
0:18:48 > 0:18:53# You need someone to listen to your fiction
0:18:53 > 0:18:57# But ain't left doing just one more addiction
0:18:57 > 0:19:00# If you pray with me
0:19:00 > 0:19:03# On your knees under the willow trees
0:19:03 > 0:19:05# And pray with me for what we need
0:19:05 > 0:19:07# What we need, yeah
0:19:07 > 0:19:10# It might not be money, it might not be gold
0:19:10 > 0:19:12# Let your love release your soul
0:19:12 > 0:19:17# Come on and pray, won't you pray with me
0:19:19 > 0:19:22# Lordy, lordy, lordy
0:19:24 > 0:19:27# Lordy, lordy, lordy
0:19:27 > 0:19:31# Show me emotion, show me your pain
0:19:31 > 0:19:36# Let it out so you can live again
0:19:36 > 0:19:40# Share your emotion, share your pain
0:19:40 > 0:19:45# Scream and shout so you can love again
0:19:45 > 0:19:47# If you pray with me, yeah
0:19:47 > 0:19:50# Gonna pray with me, won't you pray with me, yeah
0:19:50 > 0:19:54# Pray with me for what we need
0:19:55 > 0:19:57# Might not be money, might not be gold
0:19:57 > 0:19:59# Let your love release your soul
0:19:59 > 0:20:03# Pray, won't you pray
0:20:03 > 0:20:06# With me
0:20:06 > 0:20:09# On your knees under the willow trees
0:20:09 > 0:20:13# And pray with me for what we need, yeah
0:20:13 > 0:20:15# Might not be money, might not be gold
0:20:15 > 0:20:18# Let your love release your soul
0:20:18 > 0:20:20# Come on and pray
0:20:20 > 0:20:23# Won't you pray
0:20:23 > 0:20:25# With me
0:20:25 > 0:20:28# Lordy, lordy, lordy
0:20:31 > 0:20:34# Lordy, lordy, lordy. #
0:20:34 > 0:20:36APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Thank you!
0:20:43 > 0:20:44# Pray with me... #
0:20:44 > 0:20:46That is such a good song!
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Instant classic!
0:20:48 > 0:20:50CHEERING
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Ladies and gentlemen, Rick Astley, come on.
0:20:55 > 0:20:56CHEERING
0:20:56 > 0:20:57Rick Astley.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59# Pray with me... #
0:21:02 > 0:21:04OK, ladies and gentlemen,
0:21:04 > 0:21:07who wants to play Celebrity Send To All?
0:21:07 > 0:21:09CHEERING
0:21:09 > 0:21:12Yeah, this is where I take a celebrity's mobile phone and
0:21:12 > 0:21:15send a text of my choosing to their contacts and see what
0:21:15 > 0:21:18hilarious replies they get at the end of the show.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21So let's see who's in our Send To All box this week.
0:21:21 > 0:21:26Why it's double Olympic gold medal winning swimmer, Rebecca Adlington!
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Come on, Bexsie!
0:21:29 > 0:21:31She's a champion!
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Hi, darling.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37- How are you? - I'm good. How are you?
0:21:37 > 0:21:39So, who are you here with tonight, Rebecca?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41- My sister Laura and my mum Kay. - Lovely.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Welcome. Welcome along.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45- I can't thank you enough for being here...- Thank you.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47..and agreeing to play this,
0:21:47 > 0:21:49which is a very fun game with no harm done.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Slightly scary.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54- So, tell us about Rio. How was that? - Yes.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57Cos we won more gold medals...or medals than ever before,
0:21:57 > 0:21:58so we're proud.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02It was amazing. The swimming team had the best ever Olympics...ever!
0:22:02 > 0:22:04- That's good.- Which was amazing.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09How was your swimming? Cos you did retire from swimming.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12Do you allow yourself to swim?
0:22:12 > 0:22:15- Yes.- What's it like when you swim, like, on holiday?
0:22:15 > 0:22:17I pretend I can't swim.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20- OK.- Like, if I get in the pool, I just kind of do, like,
0:22:20 > 0:22:24- the head-up breaststroke, where I don't get my hair wet.- Yes.
0:22:24 > 0:22:25Mums are very good at...
0:22:25 > 0:22:28I think that should be an Olympic sport,
0:22:28 > 0:22:30where it's not where who comes first,
0:22:30 > 0:22:34it's who has the driest hair at the end.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36OK. Let's have a big hand for Rebecca
0:22:36 > 0:22:39for putting herself through this.
0:22:39 > 0:22:40So...
0:22:41 > 0:22:43..as you can see...
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Is this for me to wear?
0:22:45 > 0:22:48No. You pop your phone into the armband
0:22:48 > 0:22:51and that's how you'll deliver it to me
0:22:51 > 0:22:54and I will scoot down here... and bring it to me.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Thank you so much.
0:22:56 > 0:22:57# Gold!
0:22:57 > 0:23:00# Always believe in your soul
0:23:00 > 0:23:03# You've got the power to know
0:23:03 > 0:23:05# You're indestructible
0:23:05 > 0:23:08# Always believe in
0:23:08 > 0:23:09# You are gold
0:23:09 > 0:23:10# Gold! #
0:23:10 > 0:23:12I've got it. Ladies and gentlemen,
0:23:12 > 0:23:16I am now in possession of Rebecca Adlington's mobile telephone.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18There it is. Thank you.
0:23:18 > 0:23:23All right. So, I plug this in here and, with a bit of fortune...
0:23:23 > 0:23:26Yay!
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Oh, who is that person?
0:23:29 > 0:23:31My daughter Summer.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Aw. Summer, look at her, she's beautiful.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37And you've named her after your favourite Olympics?!
0:23:37 > 0:23:38Excellent.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Aw, adorable.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Let's see what apps you've got on here. What's this one?
0:23:43 > 0:23:46It's the CCTV to my house.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48LAUGHTER
0:23:48 > 0:23:49Is it live?
0:23:49 > 0:23:53- Yeah. So, if you press the plus... - Right.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56..and press home, and then go to camera one.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58All right, cam one.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Whoa!
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Whoa!
0:24:05 > 0:24:06What about that?
0:24:06 > 0:24:10So, this is your car outside your house?
0:24:10 > 0:24:13- And there's another car.- Yeah. - And this is the...clothesline.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15That's the garden.
0:24:15 > 0:24:20I've never seen anyone put a CCTV on their clothesline before.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Are you out having dinner and like,
0:24:22 > 0:24:26"I'm just going to check the clothesline, see if they're dry"?
0:24:26 > 0:24:28"That swimsuit looks about done.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31"I'd better head home. I've got to do a few lengths."
0:24:31 > 0:24:33If you double-tap them they go bigger,
0:24:33 > 0:24:37- so if you double-tap one of them...- Double-tap... Oh!
0:24:37 > 0:24:40Wow. You said that as if that was going to be
0:24:40 > 0:24:42a very exciting moment for all of us.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45OK.
0:24:45 > 0:24:49So, we are going to pop a text into your phone, Rebecca,
0:24:49 > 0:24:54and don't panic, it's absolutely fine, and the text is...
0:24:54 > 0:24:56"OMG,
0:24:56 > 0:25:00"Kim and Kanye..
0:25:03 > 0:25:06"..have asked me
0:25:06 > 0:25:15"to be their live-in swimming teacher.
0:25:19 > 0:25:25"And how weird is this?
0:25:26 > 0:25:30"Kanye is insisting I..."
0:25:30 > 0:25:34- How many gold medals have you got? - Two.
0:25:34 > 0:25:41"..wear both medals...
0:25:41 > 0:25:46"in every lesson.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50"The money is amazing.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57"What do you think?"
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Kisses? Are you a kisser?
0:25:59 > 0:26:02I do one big kiss, one little kiss.
0:26:02 > 0:26:03All right, let's do that.
0:26:03 > 0:26:08OK, this little dilemma will be presented to all that you know.
0:26:08 > 0:26:09"OMG, Kim and Kanye have asked me
0:26:09 > 0:26:12"to be their live-in swimming teacher.
0:26:12 > 0:26:13"And how weird is this?
0:26:13 > 0:26:17"Kanye is insisting I wear both my gold medals in every lesson.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20"The money is amazing. What do you think?"
0:26:20 > 0:26:21Shall I send that text?
0:26:21 > 0:26:23- AUDIENCE:- Yes!
0:26:23 > 0:26:27All right. That is...gone!
0:26:27 > 0:26:29CHEERING
0:26:29 > 0:26:32We will be catching up with Rebecca later on in the show
0:26:32 > 0:26:35and see what responses she gets to these texts.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38In the meantime, one more time for the fantastic sport
0:26:38 > 0:26:41that is Rebecca Adlington, ladies and gentlemen!
0:26:41 > 0:26:42Whoo!
0:26:42 > 0:26:44All right.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47So, ladies and gentlemen,
0:26:47 > 0:26:51my next guest was the toast of this year's Edinburgh Festival.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54It is my absolute pleasure to introduce him to you.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57Please welcome the wonderful Al Porter!
0:26:57 > 0:27:00- Al Porter's here. Come on, Al. - Hello.
0:27:02 > 0:27:03Yes.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06Hello. Thank you very much. Are we all well?
0:27:06 > 0:27:08- AUDIENCE:- Yes!
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Yes. This is amazing. My name is Al.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13Thank you so much for having me in this beautiful theatre.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16Just to set things clear, if anybody is wondering, looking at me,
0:27:16 > 0:27:19you know, "Oh, is he?
0:27:19 > 0:27:20"Isn't he?"
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Obviously I am.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25I'm from a council estate.
0:27:28 > 0:27:29I am actually from a council estate.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32The kind of estate I am from... I know I am overdressed, by the way,
0:27:32 > 0:27:35but I think if you can't hide this, decorate it.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38I'm from the kind of place where Father's Day is
0:27:38 > 0:27:40a very mysterious day.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46Father's Day in my estate is like Halloween.
0:27:46 > 0:27:49Kids have to go door to door.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52"Hiya, Dad. Hiya, Dad. Hiya, Dad.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55"Mam, who else was on your list?"
0:27:55 > 0:27:58I still live at home, I should say that.
0:27:58 > 0:28:01I mean, I've wanted to live alone for the last two years,
0:28:01 > 0:28:03but my parents just won't leave.
0:28:04 > 0:28:08No, I'm making progress. I got my dad back smoking but...
0:28:09 > 0:28:12Oh, he knows the difference between a house and a home,
0:28:12 > 0:28:13I can tell you that.
0:28:13 > 0:28:17A home is where he is going once I get him out of the house!
0:28:18 > 0:28:21I like it, because my mam's a modern woman.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23She's on Facebook.
0:28:23 > 0:28:26My mother's on Facebook now. She doesn't know how to use it.
0:28:26 > 0:28:30All she does is share inspirational quotes and missing dogs.
0:28:30 > 0:28:32Usually at the same time, you know?
0:28:32 > 0:28:36Just a lost Jack Russell telling you to never give up.
0:28:36 > 0:28:37But it's nice.
0:28:37 > 0:28:41I've picked up all of her habits cos I've lived there for too long.
0:28:41 > 0:28:43"Leave a light on so it looks like somebody's in."
0:28:43 > 0:28:47Recently I was in, watching the TV, with all of the lights off,
0:28:47 > 0:28:49and I caught myself thinking, "Sugar!
0:28:49 > 0:28:52"I better put a light on so it looks like somebody's in."
0:28:52 > 0:28:54I was in!
0:28:54 > 0:28:58What was I going to do if I'd left them all off but somebody broke in?
0:28:58 > 0:29:01"Freeze!" "Oh, don't mind me, I'm out.
0:29:02 > 0:29:05"I've been out for years." I mean...
0:29:06 > 0:29:09I've always been very dramatic, by the way. Always camp.
0:29:09 > 0:29:12When I came out, my parents said, "Al, you need to come in."
0:29:12 > 0:29:14Oh, no, I have.
0:29:14 > 0:29:16Like, very, very dramatic, you know?
0:29:16 > 0:29:19Like, for example, I recently auditioned for Bond,
0:29:19 > 0:29:21but didn't get it because they said,
0:29:21 > 0:29:25"No, you're kind of less 007 and more, 'Ooh, 7'! "
0:29:27 > 0:29:30I did driving lessons with my dad and he said, "Grab the clutch."
0:29:30 > 0:29:33I said, "I left it in the house."
0:29:33 > 0:29:36You don't have to remind me to look in the mirror, I can tell you that.
0:29:36 > 0:29:39"Check your rear view." "I have, it's fabulous."
0:29:39 > 0:29:41Very over the top always.
0:29:41 > 0:29:45Actually, Irish people have done a wonderful thing, right?
0:29:45 > 0:29:49We've taken the English language and we've mangled it
0:29:49 > 0:29:54and minimised it to the point of meaning literally nothing.
0:29:54 > 0:29:58My mam describes my dad as "fond of an auld pint",
0:29:58 > 0:30:01as opposed to "a raging alcoholic".
0:30:03 > 0:30:05My sister is "harmless". Had you ever heard that?
0:30:05 > 0:30:08"Harmless" is an Irish euphemism for being a proper eejit.
0:30:08 > 0:30:11You see, you're very straightforward people in England.
0:30:11 > 0:30:14You go, "Mike, you're an idiot. Mike, you're an idiot."
0:30:14 > 0:30:18In Ireland, we're like, "Oh, John? Ah, John's harmless, yeah.
0:30:18 > 0:30:21"John's an energy-saver bulb.
0:30:22 > 0:30:26"He's dim, but we wouldn't change him, do you know what I mean?"
0:30:27 > 0:30:29My mate Sarah Ward is "harmless".
0:30:29 > 0:30:31Sarah Ward had two kids by the time we left school.
0:30:31 > 0:30:34We all used call her Maternity Ward.
0:30:34 > 0:30:37Oh, stop. There were six girls pregnant in my A-level class.
0:30:37 > 0:30:39I was the only one that wasn't a suspect.
0:30:41 > 0:30:44Sarah had these kids with a fella called Glen. You want to see him.
0:30:44 > 0:30:46I'd rather get up on a Monday.
0:30:46 > 0:30:49I remember looking at the kids and then looking at Glen,
0:30:49 > 0:30:51and she goes to me, "Them kids look nothing like me.
0:30:51 > 0:30:53"I bet you he was cheating."
0:30:55 > 0:30:58My brother is described as "happy". Have you ever heard that?
0:30:58 > 0:31:00"Happy" means you're unemployed.
0:31:01 > 0:31:05"Oh, Alan? Alan's a comedian and, Niall, sure Niall's happy."
0:31:05 > 0:31:08My uncle who makes a dodgy pass at me every Christmas,
0:31:08 > 0:31:10"He's a character."
0:31:13 > 0:31:16Even my nana never tells people that I don't like girls.
0:31:16 > 0:31:20She won't tell them. She just goes, "Oh, Alan? He's for the Church."
0:31:24 > 0:31:26I'm not political, chickens. I'm not.
0:31:26 > 0:31:29Honestly, chicken, the closest I ever got to being political
0:31:29 > 0:31:34was when I was eight and my nana knitted me a ski mask for winter,
0:31:34 > 0:31:39but by the time she was finished it was just a balaclava.
0:31:39 > 0:31:43But I wouldn't take it off. You know when a child loves a costume?
0:31:43 > 0:31:45Have you ever seen a distraught mother in a supermarket
0:31:45 > 0:31:47and you go, "What's wrong with that woman?"
0:31:47 > 0:31:51And then you look and she's being followed by a three-foot Spider-Man.
0:31:51 > 0:31:52That was my mother,
0:31:52 > 0:31:55being followed around by a miniature paramilitary republican.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59There's a photo buried in my attic
0:31:59 > 0:32:05of me sitting on Santa's lap in Santa's grotto wearing a balaclava.
0:32:05 > 0:32:08"What would you like for Christmas?"
0:32:08 > 0:32:11- STRONG IRISH ACCENT: - "A united Ireland, Santa.
0:32:11 > 0:32:15"Am I on your naughty list? Cos you're on mine."
0:32:15 > 0:32:19- NORMAL ACCENT:- This is my favourite thing that the Irish have minimised.
0:32:19 > 0:32:24In the 1970s, oh, yeah, did we have riots up north, did we?
0:32:24 > 0:32:25Did we have riots, did we?
0:32:25 > 0:32:29"Not at all. We had a bit of trouble."
0:32:29 > 0:32:33You've been a lovely audience. I'm Al Porter, thank you and good night.
0:32:33 > 0:32:36Al Porter, ladies and gentlemen!
0:32:36 > 0:32:37Yay!
0:32:37 > 0:32:39Mwah!
0:32:39 > 0:32:40Amazing. What about that?
0:32:40 > 0:32:44One more time, the fantastic Al Porter.
0:32:47 > 0:32:49Sorry.
0:32:49 > 0:32:50What is it?
0:32:50 > 0:32:52Your...your mum?
0:32:52 > 0:32:54Your mother is in the audience.
0:32:54 > 0:32:56You want me to say hello to your mother?
0:32:56 > 0:32:58I'm trying to make a TV show.
0:32:58 > 0:32:59OK. Where is she sitting?
0:32:59 > 0:33:02I'll say hello to her, that's fine. ..Sorry, it's very annoying.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05It's one of the producers. Where is she? Over this way?
0:33:05 > 0:33:07Where is she?
0:33:07 > 0:33:09OK, fine, I'm doing it.
0:33:09 > 0:33:12Keep walking? All right, just tell me when to stop.
0:33:12 > 0:33:14This is quite boring.
0:33:15 > 0:33:18There's no way that's your mother.
0:33:18 > 0:33:19I hope not.
0:33:19 > 0:33:21You?
0:33:21 > 0:33:23Hello. Do you know anybody working on tonight's show?
0:33:23 > 0:33:25- No.- No?
0:33:25 > 0:33:28Can you stand up for me? Sorry.
0:33:29 > 0:33:32- Do you have children?- Yes. - What are their names?
0:33:32 > 0:33:34- Rio and Zak.- OK. How old are they?
0:33:34 > 0:33:37- Ten and seven.- OK.
0:33:37 > 0:33:39Not here!
0:33:39 > 0:33:41Really?
0:33:41 > 0:33:42Oh. Where are they?
0:33:42 > 0:33:44At home, I hope.
0:33:44 > 0:33:46Rio and Zak?
0:33:46 > 0:33:48Would this be Rio and Zak?
0:33:48 > 0:33:51Oh, my God.
0:33:51 > 0:33:53Uh... Yeah.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56So, who's Rio and who's Zak?
0:33:56 > 0:33:59- Rio's the older one.- OK. And that's little Zak?
0:33:59 > 0:34:01They're so cute.
0:34:01 > 0:34:03They couldn't be working on the show...
0:34:03 > 0:34:05- How did you get that?- I know.
0:34:05 > 0:34:08- And you are Sangeeta?- Yes.
0:34:08 > 0:34:10Great. OK, Sangeeta.
0:34:10 > 0:34:12This is very bizarre.
0:34:12 > 0:34:15What have the boys been doing today?
0:34:15 > 0:34:17They were watching a football match.
0:34:17 > 0:34:18OK.
0:34:18 > 0:34:22Let's have a look, actually, of what your boys have been up to,
0:34:22 > 0:34:25helping me on the show today.
0:34:27 > 0:34:31So, Michael, we've got some new producers coming to help us out.
0:34:31 > 0:34:32Right.
0:34:42 > 0:34:46- I'm Zak.- And I'm Rio. - Nice to meet you. Welcome.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48I'm Michael, and this is the Big Show team.
0:34:48 > 0:34:50OK, let's crack on.
0:34:50 > 0:34:54We've had a look at the scripts, and we have a few notes.
0:35:01 > 0:35:02This is... This is funny.
0:35:02 > 0:35:05- This is funny stuff, isn't it? - Yeah.- Really good.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08- Really strong.- Funny. - Really funny stuff.
0:35:08 > 0:35:09Yeah. I think it'll work.
0:35:09 > 0:35:11How about this? Knock-knock.
0:35:11 > 0:35:12Who's there?
0:35:12 > 0:35:13I'mma.
0:35:13 > 0:35:15I'mma poo?
0:35:19 > 0:35:21I'mma poo?
0:35:25 > 0:35:28BOOMING VOICE: Good evening. NORMAL VOICE: No.
0:35:28 > 0:35:29Come on, Michael.
0:35:29 > 0:35:31Good evening!
0:35:31 > 0:35:33- Ohh...- I mean, how hard is it?
0:35:33 > 0:35:36Why can't you just say it right? Try again.
0:35:36 > 0:35:38Good evening!
0:35:38 > 0:35:41Is it too late to change the host?
0:35:44 > 0:35:47Michael, that's not how Mummy does it.
0:35:47 > 0:35:48No...
0:35:49 > 0:35:52No, no, no.
0:35:52 > 0:35:54I'm not sure...
0:35:54 > 0:35:56Yes.
0:35:59 > 0:36:00Perfect.
0:36:03 > 0:36:05Wow.
0:36:08 > 0:36:10Mummy?
0:36:10 > 0:36:12Yay!
0:36:18 > 0:36:22Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed.
0:36:24 > 0:36:27Ladies and gentlemen, give a big hand to Rio and Zak,
0:36:27 > 0:36:30the Big Show's little producers!
0:36:35 > 0:36:37Come on, let's go and say hi to them.
0:36:37 > 0:36:42There you go. There's Mum. And where's Dad? Come on out, Dad!
0:36:43 > 0:36:46Dad never got to go to the football.
0:36:48 > 0:36:51Brilliant. Boys, did you enjoy your day?
0:36:51 > 0:36:53- Yeah.- Was it fun?- Yes.
0:36:53 > 0:36:54Pretty awesome?
0:36:54 > 0:36:57All right. Enjoy the rest of the show, which you produced.
0:36:57 > 0:37:00I suppose, just between us, there was an incredibly awkward moment
0:37:00 > 0:37:02when you put all that make-up on me.
0:37:02 > 0:37:05Daddy made a move.
0:37:05 > 0:37:08Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for Zak and Rio.
0:37:08 > 0:37:11And Sangeeta!
0:37:17 > 0:37:21Ladies and gentlemen, I am so excited to introduce my next guest.
0:37:21 > 0:37:24He is a hugely talented, charming,
0:37:24 > 0:37:28handsome man who has sold over 10 million records.
0:37:28 > 0:37:30Please welcome Olly Murs!
0:37:30 > 0:37:33CHEERING
0:37:37 > 0:37:39# When I'm alone in the dark
0:37:39 > 0:37:43# I paint a picture inside my mind
0:37:45 > 0:37:47# Of all the things that I wanted
0:37:47 > 0:37:50# But I never thought I would find
0:37:51 > 0:37:55# And it blows my mind
0:37:55 > 0:37:58# Because there you are
0:37:58 > 0:38:01# By my side
0:38:01 > 0:38:03# Maybe you know, maybe you don't
0:38:03 > 0:38:07# But it's a question I have to ask
0:38:09 > 0:38:11# I know we're young and we've got life
0:38:11 > 0:38:15# But life always goes so fast
0:38:16 > 0:38:19# But while you're mine
0:38:19 > 0:38:24# Yeah, it feels like time's on our side
0:38:25 > 0:38:29# Years and years, forever young
0:38:29 > 0:38:32# Years and years, yet to come
0:38:32 > 0:38:35# I take every second of every minute
0:38:35 > 0:38:38# Long as you're in it, you know I'm winning
0:38:40 > 0:38:44# Years and years we won't forget
0:38:44 > 0:38:47# The time and place that we met
0:38:47 > 0:38:51# And now I remember it all so clear
0:38:51 > 0:38:54# You signed your name on my heart
0:38:54 > 0:38:56# Saying you were here
0:38:56 > 0:38:58# No, we're not at the end
0:38:58 > 0:39:01# But we came close maybe once or twice
0:39:03 > 0:39:09# We got burned but we learned not to listen to bad advice
0:39:10 > 0:39:13# Now I know you're mine
0:39:14 > 0:39:19# Cos it feels like time's on our side
0:39:20 > 0:39:24# Years and years, forever young
0:39:24 > 0:39:27# Years and years, yet to come
0:39:27 > 0:39:30# I take every second of every minute
0:39:30 > 0:39:33# As long as you're in it, you know I'm winning
0:39:35 > 0:39:39# Years and years we won't forget
0:39:39 > 0:39:43# The time and place that we met
0:39:43 > 0:39:46# And I remember it all so clear
0:39:46 > 0:39:49# You signed your name on my heart
0:39:49 > 0:39:51# Saying you were here
0:39:51 > 0:39:55# It doesn't matter where we go
0:39:55 > 0:39:58# It's all I want, it's all I know
0:39:58 > 0:40:03# This feeling's never, ever getting old
0:40:04 > 0:40:07# It's all I know
0:40:07 > 0:40:10# Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
0:40:10 > 0:40:13# Know-oh-oh, oh-oh... # Come on!
0:40:13 > 0:40:15CHEERING
0:40:15 > 0:40:19# Years and years, forever young
0:40:19 > 0:40:22# Years and years, yet to come
0:40:22 > 0:40:25# I take every second of every minute
0:40:25 > 0:40:28# As long as you're in it, I know I'm winning
0:40:31 > 0:40:34# Years and years we won't forget
0:40:34 > 0:40:38# The time and place that we met
0:40:38 > 0:40:41# And I remember it all so clear
0:40:42 > 0:40:44# You signed your name on my heart
0:40:44 > 0:40:46# Saying you were here
0:40:46 > 0:40:48# Years and years
0:40:48 > 0:40:50# The night of our lives
0:40:50 > 0:40:52# Years and years
0:40:52 > 0:40:54# In the blink of an eye
0:40:54 > 0:40:57# Years and years
0:40:57 > 0:41:02# I know this love will last years and years. #
0:41:02 > 0:41:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:41:11 > 0:41:14Olly Murs! Mursy!
0:41:17 > 0:41:20- Amazing. Come on! Let's have this!- Thank you.
0:41:20 > 0:41:22What about that, ladies and gentlemen?
0:41:22 > 0:41:24- What a legend Olly Murs is. - Thank you very much.
0:41:24 > 0:41:26CHEERING
0:41:30 > 0:41:31SOMEONE SNEEZES
0:41:31 > 0:41:33LAUGHTER
0:41:33 > 0:41:36What happened? What...? What happened? What...?
0:41:36 > 0:41:40Why are you laughing? What happened? Was it a sneeze or something?
0:41:40 > 0:41:41Somebody sneezed?
0:41:41 > 0:41:43"Achoo!" Sneezing's weird.
0:41:43 > 0:41:46You know what the weirdest bodily function is in my opinion?
0:41:46 > 0:41:48It's yawning. Yawning. I want you to take a moment,
0:41:48 > 0:41:50I want you to take a moment just to think about how weird yawning is.
0:41:50 > 0:41:53Think about it, cos it doesn't do anything for you.
0:41:53 > 0:41:55When you're tired, you yawn, but do you get a boost?
0:41:55 > 0:41:58It's not like you have a... It's not like an espresso.
0:41:58 > 0:42:00Think about... Just think... Cos we're so busy being human,
0:42:00 > 0:42:04you don't stop to think how weird it is that, every once in a while,
0:42:04 > 0:42:07your face, for no apparent reason, goes like this...
0:42:07 > 0:42:08"Aaaahhh.
0:42:09 > 0:42:11"Aaaaaaahhhhhh."
0:42:11 > 0:42:14And, if you try to suppress it, you look even weirder.
0:42:14 > 0:42:16"Hnghn...
0:42:17 > 0:42:19"Hgngnnnrrr..."
0:42:20 > 0:42:24And how weird is this? It's contagious! How weird is that?!
0:42:25 > 0:42:26What is that even about?
0:42:26 > 0:42:28How can it be contagious that one person does this -
0:42:28 > 0:42:29"Aaahhh" -
0:42:29 > 0:42:33and another person just goes, "Aaahhh," back to them?
0:42:36 > 0:42:39Right. Earlier tonight, champion swimmer Rebecca Adlington
0:42:39 > 0:42:44agreed to hand over her phone and I sent a text message to her contacts.
0:42:44 > 0:42:46The message, of course, was...
0:42:58 > 0:43:00"Big kiss, little kiss."
0:43:01 > 0:43:06So let's see how everyone in your phone has responded to this.
0:43:06 > 0:43:08Ooh, "Emma Flange"? Is that a real person?
0:43:12 > 0:43:14She goes, "Shut up??"
0:43:14 > 0:43:16Then new line, "Shut up??"
0:43:16 > 0:43:20Then another line, "Shut up??
0:43:20 > 0:43:22"This is amazing news," on another line.
0:43:22 > 0:43:25Then, on another line, "What the hell!!!!
0:43:25 > 0:43:29"Oh, I'm so excited right now. 100% yes. Oh, my God!"
0:43:31 > 0:43:34John Inverdale. Oh, he's not really playing.
0:43:34 > 0:43:35"Was that meant for me?"
0:43:35 > 0:43:37REBECCA LAUGHS
0:43:37 > 0:43:40I'm just going to text him back, actually. "Yes, John...
0:43:42 > 0:43:43"..I came to you first.
0:43:47 > 0:43:48"I need an answer by tonight."
0:43:51 > 0:43:54We'll send that out and see how that plays out.
0:43:54 > 0:43:55OK, that's Inverdale.
0:43:55 > 0:43:58Tim Kellaway. Who's that? Tim Kellaway?
0:43:58 > 0:44:01- Yeah, a family friend. - Family friend?
0:44:01 > 0:44:04"I wouldn't bother, you're already loaded anyway."
0:44:08 > 0:44:14Ooh! Mark Foster! He's gone with, "You'll sink and need a lifeguard.
0:44:14 > 0:44:17"I'll come and supervise, Baywatch-style." There you go.
0:44:22 > 0:44:25Ah! Sir Chris Hoy?! That's very exciting.
0:44:25 > 0:44:28Oh, Chris Hoyas got an excellent sense of humour.
0:44:28 > 0:44:32He's started it with, "I ain't saying he's a gold digger..."
0:44:34 > 0:44:36Pretty good.
0:44:36 > 0:44:38CHEERING AND WHISTLING
0:44:40 > 0:44:44Yeah, but then he's onto it, you see?
0:44:44 > 0:44:47"I'm guessing that's you, Michael M. Say hi..."
0:44:47 > 0:44:48AUDIENCE GROANS
0:44:48 > 0:44:50"Say hi to Becky."
0:44:50 > 0:44:51On your bike!
0:44:54 > 0:44:56Ooh! Dean Cain?
0:44:56 > 0:44:57Sorry, Superman has texted you?
0:45:00 > 0:45:03OK, he's texted, "Live-in?
0:45:03 > 0:45:05"And you wear your medals?
0:45:05 > 0:45:08"Oh, that sounds like some kinky stuff.
0:45:12 > 0:45:14"Take the money and run."
0:45:17 > 0:45:19OK, who did I text? Oh, no, Inverdale.
0:45:19 > 0:45:21Oh, he hasn't got back.
0:45:21 > 0:45:23Don't leave me hanging, Invo.
0:45:24 > 0:45:26Got to text him again!
0:45:26 > 0:45:29The bubbles have come up - he's thinking!
0:45:29 > 0:45:32The bubbles. The bubbles! I've got bubbles!
0:45:32 > 0:45:34But sometimes people do bubbles and then you wait
0:45:34 > 0:45:35and then they decide not to text.
0:45:35 > 0:45:38You're like, "What happened? Why did you bail out?!"
0:45:38 > 0:45:42Come on, Invo. Oh, he's bailed out of the bubbles!
0:45:42 > 0:45:44AUDIENCE GROANS
0:45:44 > 0:45:46I saw your bubbles, I know you were thinking.
0:45:51 > 0:45:53I saw your thinking bubbles.
0:45:54 > 0:45:56I know you're there.
0:45:58 > 0:45:59Oh, no, he's just come in.
0:45:59 > 0:46:03"I would insist on all the sessions being in Mansfield.
0:46:03 > 0:46:05"Good for the local economy!"
0:46:05 > 0:46:08LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:46:08 > 0:46:10Oh, that was brilliant. Ladies and gentlemen,
0:46:10 > 0:46:13please give a huge hand for the wonderful Rebecca Adlington!
0:46:13 > 0:46:16Fabulous! Fabulous!
0:46:20 > 0:46:21Oh...
0:46:22 > 0:46:24Ladies and gentlemen, earlier tonight,
0:46:24 > 0:46:27we gave Verity the biggest surprise of her life
0:46:27 > 0:46:30when she became our Unexpected Star of the show.
0:46:30 > 0:46:34She was next door, serving drinks at our fake art exhibition.
0:46:34 > 0:46:38And now the time has nearly come for her to perform for us.
0:46:38 > 0:46:40CHEERING
0:46:40 > 0:46:47Let's have a little look at how the last hour has unfolded for Verity.
0:46:47 > 0:46:49MUSIC: Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine
0:46:49 > 0:46:51So I thought I was working in an art gallery this evening,
0:46:51 > 0:46:54and when he asked me to turn the picture around,
0:46:54 > 0:46:57I didn't want to touch it because it had "£19,000" on the picture,
0:46:57 > 0:46:58and then I couldn't get it straight.
0:46:58 > 0:47:00Yeah, I wasn't happy about doing that!
0:47:00 > 0:47:01SHE LAUGHS
0:47:01 > 0:47:04The walls collapsed, and suddenly there's Michael McIntyre
0:47:04 > 0:47:05and a huge audience in front of me.
0:47:05 > 0:47:09Apparently, I'm the Unexpected Guest on the Michael McIntyre show.
0:47:09 > 0:47:11I'm feeling all kinds of crazy. This is nuts.
0:47:14 > 0:47:17We've got a little amount of time, so we're going to get you backstage,
0:47:17 > 0:47:19meet the whole team, and rehearse.
0:47:19 > 0:47:22Oh, God! I can't believe it's happening.
0:47:22 > 0:47:23What's going on?
0:47:23 > 0:47:26'Yeah, love the song, it's fantastic, and the band are amazing,
0:47:26 > 0:47:28'and the dancers... Oh!'
0:47:28 > 0:47:29I can't wait!
0:47:34 > 0:47:37Nothing in my life is ever going to live up to this moment.
0:47:38 > 0:47:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:47:41 > 0:47:45OK, ladies and gentlemen, the time has come.
0:47:45 > 0:47:50Please give all your love for our Unexpected Star of tonight's show.
0:47:50 > 0:47:52It's Verity!
0:47:52 > 0:47:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:48:00 > 0:48:04MUSIC: Son Of A Preacher Man
0:48:11 > 0:48:13# Billy Ray was a preacher's son
0:48:13 > 0:48:16# And when his daddy would visit he'd come along
0:48:16 > 0:48:18# When they gathered round and started talkin'
0:48:18 > 0:48:21# That's when Billy would take me walkin'
0:48:21 > 0:48:24# Through the back yard we'd go walkin'
0:48:24 > 0:48:26# Then he'd look into my eyes
0:48:26 > 0:48:29# Lord knows, to my surprise
0:48:29 > 0:48:31# The only one who could ever reach me
0:48:31 > 0:48:34# Was the son of a preacher man
0:48:34 > 0:48:37# The only boy who could ever teach me
0:48:37 > 0:48:39# Was the son of a preacher man
0:48:39 > 0:48:42# Yes, he was, he was
0:48:42 > 0:48:45# Ooh, yes, he was
0:48:50 > 0:48:52# Bein' good isn't always easy
0:48:52 > 0:48:55# No matter how hard I try
0:48:55 > 0:48:58# When he started sweet-talkin' to me
0:48:58 > 0:49:00# He'd come and tell me, "Everything is all right"
0:49:00 > 0:49:03# He'd kiss and tell me, "Everything is all right"
0:49:03 > 0:49:05# Can I get away again tonight?
0:49:05 > 0:49:08# The only one who could ever reach me
0:49:08 > 0:49:10# Was the son of a preacher man
0:49:10 > 0:49:13# The only boy who could ever teach me
0:49:13 > 0:49:15# Was the son of a preacher man
0:49:15 > 0:49:18# Yes, he was, he was
0:49:18 > 0:49:24# Oh, yes, he was Oh, yes, he was
0:49:24 > 0:49:26# How well I remember
0:49:26 > 0:49:29# The look that was in his eyes
0:49:29 > 0:49:32# Stealin' kisses from me on the sly
0:49:32 > 0:49:34# Takin' time to make time
0:49:34 > 0:49:36# Tellin' me that he's all mine
0:49:36 > 0:49:39# Learnin' from each other's knowin'
0:49:39 > 0:49:42# Lookin' to see how much we've grown and
0:49:42 > 0:49:44# The only one who could ever reach me
0:49:44 > 0:49:47# Was the son of a preacher man
0:49:47 > 0:49:50# The only boy who could ever teach me
0:49:50 > 0:49:52# Was the son of a preacher man
0:49:52 > 0:49:55# Yes, he was, he was
0:49:57 > 0:50:04# Oh, yes! #
0:50:04 > 0:50:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:50:10 > 0:50:12Yay!
0:50:14 > 0:50:16It's Verity, ladies and gentlemen!
0:50:16 > 0:50:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:50:18 > 0:50:23That was amazing. You belted that out! Go on, darlin'!
0:50:23 > 0:50:25You gave it some!
0:50:25 > 0:50:26That was amazing. How did that feel?
0:50:26 > 0:50:27Oh, I feel AMAZING! Crazy.
0:50:27 > 0:50:30- You've got a very powerful voice, Verity.- Oh, thank you.
0:50:30 > 0:50:33That was amazing. Wasn't that amazing, ladies and gentlemen?
0:50:33 > 0:50:35- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Thank you so much.
0:50:36 > 0:50:40- That was incredible.- Aw, look at your hubby-to-be, so proud.- I know.
0:50:40 > 0:50:44And your parents. You should be very proud. Absolutely sensational.
0:50:44 > 0:50:46Thank you for coming. How have you enjoyed the whole experience?
0:50:46 > 0:50:49Oh, it's just been the best day of my life, ever!
0:50:49 > 0:50:52- Oh, you've handled so well. You're amazing.- Thanks, thank you.
0:50:52 > 0:50:54That's what it's all about.
0:50:54 > 0:50:57Ladies and gentlemen, our Unexpected Star of the show.
0:50:57 > 0:50:58It's Verity! Yay!
0:50:58 > 0:51:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:51:00 > 0:51:04MUSIC: Son Of A Preacher Man
0:51:06 > 0:51:10Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much to my guests tonight.
0:51:10 > 0:51:14The play is out with an all-time timeless classic,
0:51:14 > 0:51:16it's Rick Astley!
0:51:16 > 0:51:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:51:23 > 0:51:27# We're no strangers to love
0:51:27 > 0:51:31- # You know the rules and... - AUDIENCE:- ..so do I... #
0:51:34 > 0:51:36Come on, then!
0:51:50 > 0:51:53# We're no strangers to love
0:51:54 > 0:51:58- # You know the rules and... - AUDIENCE:- ..so do I
0:51:58 > 0:52:02# A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
0:52:02 > 0:52:06# You wouldn't get this from any other guy
0:52:06 > 0:52:10# I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
0:52:12 > 0:52:14# Gotta make you understand
0:52:14 > 0:52:16# Never gonna give you up
0:52:16 > 0:52:19# Never gonna let you down
0:52:19 > 0:52:23# Never gonna run around and desert you
0:52:23 > 0:52:25# Never gonna make you cry
0:52:25 > 0:52:27# Never gonna say goodbye
0:52:27 > 0:52:32# Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
0:52:32 > 0:52:35# We've known each other for so long
0:52:36 > 0:52:40# Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
0:52:40 > 0:52:45# Inside we both know what's been going on
0:52:45 > 0:52:49# We know the game and we're gonna play it
0:52:49 > 0:52:53# And if you ask me how I'm feeling
0:52:53 > 0:52:57# Don't tell me you're too blind to see
0:52:57 > 0:52:59# Never gonna give you up
0:52:59 > 0:53:01# Never gonna let you down
0:53:01 > 0:53:05# Never gonna run around and desert you
0:53:05 > 0:53:07# Never gonna make you cry
0:53:07 > 0:53:10# Never gonna say goodbye
0:53:10 > 0:53:13# Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
0:53:13 > 0:53:16# Never gonna give you up
0:53:16 > 0:53:18# Never gonna let you down
0:53:18 > 0:53:22# Never gonna run around and desert you
0:53:22 > 0:53:24# Never gonna make you cry
0:53:24 > 0:53:27# Never gonna say goodbye
0:53:27 > 0:53:30# Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you... #
0:53:30 > 0:53:31Sing them "oohs".
0:53:31 > 0:53:36- # Ooh, give you up - Yeah!
0:53:36 > 0:53:39# Ooh, give you up
0:53:40 > 0:53:42# Never gonna give, never gonna give
0:53:42 > 0:53:44- # Give you up - No, no
0:53:44 > 0:53:46# Never gonna give, never gonna give
0:53:46 > 0:53:47# Give you up
0:53:48 > 0:53:53# We've known each other since 1987
0:53:53 > 0:53:57# Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
0:53:57 > 0:54:01# Inside we both know what's been going on
0:54:01 > 0:54:06# We know the game and we're gonna play it
0:54:06 > 0:54:09# And if you ask me how I'm feeling
0:54:10 > 0:54:13# Don't tell me you're too blind to see
0:54:13 > 0:54:15# Never gonna give you up
0:54:15 > 0:54:17# Never gonna let you down
0:54:17 > 0:54:21# Never gonna run around and desert you
0:54:21 > 0:54:24# Never gonna make you cry
0:54:24 > 0:54:26# Never gonna say goodbye
0:54:26 > 0:54:30# Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
0:54:30 > 0:54:32# No, never gonna give you up
0:54:32 > 0:54:35# I'm never gonna let you down
0:54:35 > 0:54:39# Never gonna run around and desert you. #
0:54:39 > 0:54:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:54:42 > 0:54:44If you know somebody you'd like to nominate
0:54:44 > 0:54:47to be an Unexpected Star of the show for the next series...
0:54:50 > 0:54:53..or in fact want to nominate someone for ANY surprise...
0:54:53 > 0:54:54- AUDIENCE:- Aww!
0:54:54 > 0:54:56This is the most embarrassing thing!
0:54:56 > 0:54:58..please go to...
0:55:00 > 0:55:02..for all the details.