0:00:10 > 0:00:13Tonight, on my Big Christmas Show...
0:00:13 > 0:00:16Alesha Dixon plays Christmas Send To All.
0:00:16 > 0:00:19There's comedy from the brilliant Bill Bailey.
0:00:19 > 0:00:23The sensational Seal sings Let It Snow,
0:00:23 > 0:00:26and there's a very festive Christmas Midnight Gameshow.
0:00:26 > 0:00:31And who will be tonight's Unexpected Star Of The Show?
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Ho, Ho, Ho.
0:00:36 > 0:00:42Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Big Christmas Show!
0:00:42 > 0:00:46MUSIC: Sleigh Ride by The Ronettes
0:01:12 > 0:01:17Please welcome your host, Michael McIntyre!
0:01:17 > 0:01:19APPLAUSE
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Merry Christmas!
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Thank you, thank you!
0:01:37 > 0:01:38Merry Christmas!
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
0:01:42 > 0:01:47and welcome to my Big Christmas Show!
0:01:47 > 0:01:49APPLAUSE
0:01:56 > 0:02:01Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we've got big Christmas stars,
0:02:01 > 0:02:04big Christmas laughs
0:02:04 > 0:02:06and big Christmas surprises.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Oh, yes!
0:02:09 > 0:02:10It's a good one tonight!
0:02:10 > 0:02:13I'll be playing my favourite game at Christmas,
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Send To All. CHEERING
0:02:17 > 0:02:19I will also be sneaking into someone's house
0:02:19 > 0:02:23for a very special festive edition of the Midnight Gameshow.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25CHEERING
0:02:25 > 0:02:32And Santa Claus himself will be arriving on this very stage
0:02:32 > 0:02:37in a very, very special Christmassy Unexpected Star Of The Show!
0:02:37 > 0:02:39CHEERING
0:02:45 > 0:02:48It's Christmassy, such a big thing, isn't it?
0:02:48 > 0:02:51You never know when you're going to feel Christmassy.
0:02:51 > 0:02:52That's why all the traditions of Christmas,
0:02:52 > 0:02:54they make you feel Christmassy.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58And we love, we all love all the traditions of Christmas,
0:02:58 > 0:03:00or at least we pretend to love them, because we do them.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02The clue that maybe we don't love them so much
0:03:02 > 0:03:04is that they don't pop up in the year.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Turkey, we don't even really like turkey,
0:03:07 > 0:03:09it's quite a dry, flavourless meat.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12There's no Kentucky Fried Turkey.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14It doesn't pop up in the year.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16The clue that we don't like turkey,
0:03:16 > 0:03:19is we stuff it with meats we'd rather be eating.
0:03:21 > 0:03:22Brussels sprouts,
0:03:22 > 0:03:26why do we put ourselves through this annual bushtucker trial?
0:03:26 > 0:03:28I have no idea.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32We force ourselves to eat these squashed-up vegetable fart balls
0:03:32 > 0:03:36on this one day of the year.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Bread sauce, since when was bread a sauce?
0:03:39 > 0:03:43Have you looked at Christmas lunch and thought, I know what this needs,
0:03:43 > 0:03:46it needs a paper hat, a bad joke and some toenail clippers.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50The last thing you want to think about when eating
0:03:50 > 0:03:51is toenail clippings.
0:03:51 > 0:03:55And also, what happens to all the things that you win in crackers?
0:03:55 > 0:04:00I don't remember throwing those little trinkets away,
0:04:00 > 0:04:03but they don't pop up in the year.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05People never say to you during the course of the year,
0:04:05 > 0:04:08anybody fancy a game of miniature cards?
0:04:08 > 0:04:11I've got these tiny little cards that I won at Christmas.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13I find the full deck so overpowering,
0:04:13 > 0:04:15let's use the tiny ones.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Why measure the whole carpet when we can measure this little section
0:04:19 > 0:04:22over here with my miniature tape measure that I won at Christmas?
0:04:24 > 0:04:25So anyway, how are you?
0:04:25 > 0:04:30Let me consult my mini, coloured, curly fish and then
0:04:30 > 0:04:32I'll tell you my precise emotion.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Oh look, it's trying to flip over.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39According to the instructions, I feel betrayed.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43The point is, we don't really like these things.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47You wouldn't go to a restaurant in July and the waiter comes over,
0:04:47 > 0:04:49"Chef's special today is the chicken."
0:04:49 > 0:04:53"Have you got a drier, less flavoursome meat, like a turkey?"
0:04:55 > 0:04:58"Any side orders?" "Fart grenades from Belgium, please."
0:04:59 > 0:05:02"I'd like you to surround my dry meat with fart grenades."
0:05:03 > 0:05:04"Any bread for the table?"
0:05:04 > 0:05:06"Liquid bread, my friend."
0:05:07 > 0:05:08"Could you liquefy the bread
0:05:08 > 0:05:12"and pour it all over my dry meat and fart balls?"
0:05:12 > 0:05:14"Is there anything else I can get you?"
0:05:14 > 0:05:17"I think a miniature sewing kit would round this meal off perfectly,
0:05:17 > 0:05:19"catch up on my sewing. Oh, and waiter, sorry,
0:05:19 > 0:05:23"could I have everything again in half an hour in a sandwich?"
0:05:24 > 0:05:25"Thank you."
0:05:27 > 0:05:29I don't know that we really like these things.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33But Christmassy, it makes us feel.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39Now ladies and gentlemen, it's time to find out who's going to be our
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Christmas Unexpected Star Of The Show.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44CHEERING Oh, yes.
0:05:47 > 0:05:53So, for this very special, festive Unexpected Star,
0:05:53 > 0:05:58I need to take you over to my Christmas living room.
0:05:58 > 0:05:59Look where we're headed.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04So, this is my living room.
0:06:07 > 0:06:08You can sense this isn't the best...
0:06:17 > 0:06:19"Darling, are you sure you've tidied up properly
0:06:19 > 0:06:22"and you haven't swept everything underneath the rug?"
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Every week on the Big Show, we surprise
0:06:24 > 0:06:27an ordinary member of the public with an extraordinary talent
0:06:27 > 0:06:30and give them the opportunity to perform right here
0:06:30 > 0:06:32on this very stage.
0:06:32 > 0:06:33So, here...
0:06:39 > 0:06:41I've got to pop this open. But that's a familiar...
0:06:42 > 0:06:45That's a familiar Christmas move, isn't it?
0:06:45 > 0:06:46Urgh...
0:06:49 > 0:06:55OK, so here is tonight's Unexpected Star of tonight's show.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is John.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02He is from Ayrshire in Scotland, and he is an aircraft mechanic.
0:07:02 > 0:07:07There he is, in front of an aircraft and he's doing his mechanics.
0:07:08 > 0:07:12He's coming to our secret location, which is behind the theatre,
0:07:12 > 0:07:18thinking that he's taking part in a special, Christmassy world-record
0:07:18 > 0:07:23attempt with a couple of his friends for the most Father Christmases to
0:07:23 > 0:07:27slide down the chimney in ten hours.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Right?
0:07:29 > 0:07:33So that's what he thinks is happening tonight.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Now, let's move over here.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38This is my fireplace
0:07:38 > 0:07:42and behind here is,
0:07:42 > 0:07:45well, you've guessed it, it's a slide.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46I don't know if you can see that.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50So the idea is - and oh, my God, I hope this works -
0:07:50 > 0:07:54is that tonight's Unexpected Star Of The Show,
0:07:54 > 0:07:56dressed as Father Christmas...
0:07:58 > 0:08:01..will slide down here
0:08:01 > 0:08:06and he will land on this here padded rug area
0:08:06 > 0:08:09for all of you tonight. If it works.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Are you up for that, ladies and gentlemen?
0:08:11 > 0:08:13CHEERING
0:08:13 > 0:08:17I feel like I should show them this, shouldn't I?
0:08:17 > 0:08:20Yes. They don't believe me.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22All right, I'll see you in a second. Hold on.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Hello, can you see me?
0:08:28 > 0:08:29Very good. All right.
0:08:29 > 0:08:34So here we have all the other Father Christmases who are going to be
0:08:34 > 0:08:38taking part in this fictional, sliding, world-record attempt
0:08:38 > 0:08:41and the fun thing is they're also going to be the choir later
0:08:41 > 0:08:43for John's performance.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46So, this is an adjudicator, who's writing things down,
0:08:46 > 0:08:48fake writing, very good adjudicator.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52So, we come here past all the Santas, very good, nice to see you.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56Yes, hello. Hello, hi, hello, hi, very good.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Oh, goodness, there's so many of them. Right.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00So, he'll be led up here...
0:09:01 > 0:09:04..all the way to the top of the...
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Hi.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08OK. Oh, my God, I'm so tense about this.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10All right, I haven't actually done this yet
0:09:10 > 0:09:12and it's supposed to be incredibly fast.
0:09:12 > 0:09:13Oh, God, this is so...
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Oh, my God, that's so fast!
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Oh!
0:09:35 > 0:09:36So...
0:09:37 > 0:09:41So, John will land here. And, ladies and gentlemen,
0:09:41 > 0:09:45he will have no idea that he's in the Theatre Royal
0:09:45 > 0:09:48or indeed on a Christmas television special.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52Santa Claus is coming to town tonight!
0:09:52 > 0:09:54CHEERING
0:09:57 > 0:10:01John is currently backstage getting ready for his turn to come down the
0:10:01 > 0:10:04chimney, so let's go live, we're going to go live, that's exciting.
0:10:04 > 0:10:08OK, we're going to go... All right, so this is them.
0:10:08 > 0:10:12This is John, John is on the far right, and these are his two mates,
0:10:12 > 0:10:14and these people are all actors.
0:10:14 > 0:10:19They're all here to take part in this world-record attempt and he's
0:10:19 > 0:10:21completely oblivious that tonight
0:10:21 > 0:10:25he's going to be performing on this stage. He doesn't know, for example,
0:10:25 > 0:10:29we're watching the way that he's toying with his locks as he waits.
0:10:29 > 0:10:35OK, so I'm going to chat to John's parents, Cathy and Hammy,
0:10:35 > 0:10:38and they're here tonight. Cathy and Hammy, where are you?
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Come on.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47Hello, darling. Love it, a nice smacker there from Cathy.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Hi, Hammy. How are you?
0:10:49 > 0:10:51So Cathy, lovely to see you.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Lovely to see you. Tell us about John.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Does he have any idea what's happening?
0:10:55 > 0:10:57No. No, he's absolutely no idea.
0:10:57 > 0:10:58I think he's going to be absolutely stunned
0:10:58 > 0:11:00when he comes down the chute.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03Well, he certainly is. I mean, it's quite fast anyway.
0:11:05 > 0:11:06And where does he think you guys are?
0:11:06 > 0:11:09- Where does he think you are, Dad? - At home, watching his dog.
0:11:09 > 0:11:10Oh!
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Dare I ask who's watching the dog?
0:11:15 > 0:11:17It's his first time in the kennels.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19You've put him for the first time in a kennel?!
0:11:19 > 0:11:21- AUDIENCE:- Aw!
0:11:21 > 0:11:23People have gone completely off the whole idea.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26They're like, "Get back to Scotland!"
0:11:26 > 0:11:29It was a surprise, so we couldn't ask anyone to watch him.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31OK, but you should have bought the dog down,
0:11:31 > 0:11:33we'd have put him down the slide straight after him.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38So, Christmas, is that something that you take seriously?
0:11:38 > 0:11:39Yes, John absolutely loves it.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41He loves Christmas. Tell me about his singing.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Is that something he wants to do professionally?
0:11:44 > 0:11:46What's his history with singing?
0:11:46 > 0:11:48No, no, John doesn't think he's good enough to do professional.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50- Well...- Aw!
0:11:50 > 0:11:53His mum's got a different opinion.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56Well, that's why he's here, because he doesn't know
0:11:56 > 0:11:58that he's here for this moment and he's going to sing us out
0:11:58 > 0:12:00at the end of the show. And we'll find out just how good he is,
0:12:00 > 0:12:02and we're all so excited for that.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Well, thank you so much for nominating him and coming down.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06Really sorry about the dog.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Ladies and gentlemen, Hammy and Cathy.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Thank you, thank you so much. Thank you, thank you so much.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14All right, it's happening.
0:12:14 > 0:12:15It's happening.
0:12:17 > 0:12:22OK, so let's go live now and see if we can have a little bit of fun.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Because this is a world record attempt,
0:12:24 > 0:12:28we thought it would be nice to have a world-record holder who loves
0:12:28 > 0:12:33breaking world records and just gets off on the buzz of claiming
0:12:33 > 0:12:36more and more world records.
0:12:36 > 0:12:40In his Santa suit, please can we send in Colin Jackson.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48In fact, why don't you hurdle that box there?
0:12:49 > 0:12:51And then say, "Still got it."
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Still got it, still got it, hey.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Hi, guys, how are you doing?
0:12:55 > 0:12:57How are you doing?
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- Pleasure.- Grab a seat.- Say "hi" to all the Santas, "Hi, Santas."
0:13:00 > 0:13:02How are you doing, guys, everybody all good?
0:13:02 > 0:13:03- Hi, yeah?- You know who I am?
0:13:03 > 0:13:06You know I'm here, right? No, you're all looking at me...
0:13:06 > 0:13:07OK. I am Colin Jackson.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09List your world records.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11OK, I hold a couple of world records,
0:13:11 > 0:13:13so I've had the world record for 110m hurdles,
0:13:13 > 0:13:16I have a 200m world-record...
0:13:16 > 0:13:17And I'm here to break another record.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19I'm here to break another world-record, so...
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Are you going to let me down, or are we going to do this?
0:13:21 > 0:13:24I hope you're all not going to let me down. You going to do it?
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Say, "Ho, ho, ho."
0:13:26 > 0:13:27Ho-ho-ho, come on!
0:13:27 > 0:13:30- ALL:- Ho-ho-ho! - Come on, let's do it, come on.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33Ho! Ho! Ho!
0:13:36 > 0:13:39Come on, let's do it. High fives!
0:13:39 > 0:13:43Let's do this, guys. I need another world record!
0:13:43 > 0:13:46- OK, now take a seat with them, Colin.- All righty.
0:13:46 > 0:13:47You all right, yes?
0:13:47 > 0:13:49That gentleman there, with the clipboard, is Robert.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51He's sort of in charge of things.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Robert, I'd like you to say to everybody that you need to take them
0:13:54 > 0:13:57through some basic health and safety tests,
0:13:57 > 0:13:59because they're going to be going down a slide.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01OK, guys, I just need to take you through
0:14:01 > 0:14:03some basic health and safety tests...
0:14:03 > 0:14:06OK, we're going to do a simple vertigo test.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10So, we're going to do a simple vertigo test. Don't worry!
0:14:10 > 0:14:14Maybe you, Colin, you seem enthusiastic, want to come first?
0:14:14 > 0:14:17- ..enthusiastic enough, you can come first!- Sure.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19If I could just ask you to step up to level two and be careful.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23- How do you feel up there? - Yeah, I'm all right.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25It's a bit warm, but yeah, I'm all right.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27I just need to test out if you're affected by the altitude
0:14:27 > 0:14:30- by asking some basic questions.- I need to find out if you're affected
0:14:30 > 0:14:33by the altitude by asking you a couple of basic questions.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36- OK.- How many hands does a human being have?
0:14:36 > 0:14:37- Two.- Excellent.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40What is the colour of your hat?
0:14:41 > 0:14:42Er...red and white.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46And complete this famous Father Christmas catchphrase...
0:14:46 > 0:14:48And complete this famous Father Christmas catchphrase...
0:14:48 > 0:14:52- Ho-ho...?- Ho-ho...?
0:14:52 > 0:14:53Ho!
0:14:54 > 0:14:56OK! That's brilliant.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59- Absolutely fine, and take a seat. - ..thank you, take a seat.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03So I'll go with John.
0:15:03 > 0:15:04Is it John?
0:15:04 > 0:15:06OK, excellent.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09All right. Can I ask you to step to level two, please?
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Level two. Careful.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- How do you feel up there? - How do you feel up there?
0:15:14 > 0:15:16- Great.- OK. Some basic questions.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19- Basic questions.- How many bones are there in the human body?
0:15:19 > 0:15:22How many bones are there in the human body?
0:15:22 > 0:15:24236.
0:15:24 > 0:15:25Oh, that's excellent.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29What noise does a giraffe make?
0:15:29 > 0:15:30What noise does a giraffe make?
0:15:32 > 0:15:33HE WHIMPERS
0:15:35 > 0:15:38OK, that's good enough. Pretty good.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40Can you name all of Santa's eight reindeer?
0:15:40 > 0:15:43Can you name all of Santa's eight reindeer?
0:15:43 > 0:15:47Prancer, Donner, Cupid, Donner and Dancer and Cupid and Blitzen...
0:15:47 > 0:15:49No, you've repeated Donner twice there.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54Robert, say I'm a bit worried about you that high up.
0:15:54 > 0:15:55Could you go down to level one?
0:15:55 > 0:15:57I'm a bit worried about the altitude.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00- Could you come down to level one? - OK.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Can you ask him if he's ever had a DMS test before?
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Have you ever had a DMS test?
0:16:05 > 0:16:07- What's that?- Dart motion sickness test.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09- No.- We'll do that now. If you could step down.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13Explain to him you're going to spin him around 15 times, and then throw the dart at the dartboard.
0:16:13 > 0:16:17I'm going to spin you around 15 times, then you have to throw the dart to the dartboard,
0:16:17 > 0:16:19- and you have to score a minimum of ten.- OK.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23OK. Spin him 15 times.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26- And go.- One, two, three, four...
0:16:29 > 0:16:31..14, 15. Go.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Two.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Oh!
0:16:36 > 0:16:37- Yes!- Congratulations.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Excellent, thanks for doing that.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50- Well done.- Well done.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Robert, just settle the room, and do a few more tests on people,
0:16:52 > 0:16:54just so he doesn't twig. All right.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00So what's going to happen is we're going to bring him up absolutely imminently.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02I am going to be sitting on this chair,
0:17:02 > 0:17:07reading this newspaper, which actually depicts everything that's going on.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09It's the Unexpected Star.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11I will be hidden behind here. HE GIGGLES
0:17:11 > 0:17:14Father Christmas will then arrive... HE GIGGLES
0:17:14 > 0:17:15..in my living room...
0:17:17 > 0:17:18But, listen, ladies and gentlemen,
0:17:18 > 0:17:20I've got to ask you the biggest favour of all.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22You have to be completely quiet.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25No laughing, anything, until we see him.
0:17:25 > 0:17:26And at that moment,
0:17:26 > 0:17:29you can make as much noise as you've ever made in your life.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32And give him the biggest surprise he's ever had, OK?
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Are you up for that, ladies and gentlemen?
0:17:34 > 0:17:38- Yes!- So be super-quiet until Santa arrives.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40OK. So shall we bring him up?
0:17:40 > 0:17:41That's everyone, isn't it?
0:17:41 > 0:17:45- Ready for this group?- We can go, yeah.- Come, follow me round.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47So, I'll put you in your groups on the way.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Just follow me around, so we've got John and Stephen.
0:17:50 > 0:17:51David, Nico.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55John, Stephen. David, Nico.
0:17:57 > 0:17:58Follow me this way, please.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Are you all ready for this? Thank you.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Come on through, group number one.
0:18:06 > 0:18:07With you in a second.
0:18:07 > 0:18:08Good luck.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13The amount of times I've done these days today.
0:18:13 > 0:18:18Ooh! First one. John, if I could just get you in position, holding on here.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21- Yeah.- I'll give you a cue to go, if you just get on
0:18:21 > 0:18:23your bum, just make sure your feet are off the...
0:18:23 > 0:18:26Give us a shout when we're ready.
0:18:26 > 0:18:27OK. Off we go.
0:18:27 > 0:18:28Off we go, thank you.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Hi, John.
0:18:51 > 0:18:55Ladies and gentlemen,
0:18:55 > 0:18:58it's our Unexpected Star of the show, it's John!
0:18:58 > 0:18:59Hey, Johnny.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05John, look there's your mum and dad over there.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08There's Hammy and Cathy. They are here for you.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13Santa, thank you for joining us.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16We are all here to surprise you.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20You've just come through my chimney on Christmas Eve...
0:19:22 > 0:19:24..to be... CHUCKLES
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Yeah. How are you feeling, John?
0:19:32 > 0:19:33What?
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Who's watching the dog?
0:19:45 > 0:19:48John, I can assure you that the dog is fine.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53John, we are all here to surprise you.
0:19:53 > 0:19:54None of this is real.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56There is no world record attempt.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Colin Jackson is not completely insane.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01Your friends have been in on this.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04They've got you down here so that you can slide through my chimney tonight.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07If you look into that television over there,
0:20:07 > 0:20:09you can actually see everybody, there they are. Give us a wave.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12They are all here to surprise you
0:20:12 > 0:20:14and to mess with you...
0:20:18 > 0:20:20..because, John,
0:20:20 > 0:20:23everybody says you have a very special talent for singing,
0:20:23 > 0:20:26and you don't truly believe in yourself.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30And tonight, you'll actually, if you will agree,
0:20:30 > 0:20:32be singing us out.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35On this very stage.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37CHEERING
0:20:38 > 0:20:39John.
0:20:41 > 0:20:46Will you be tonight's Christmas Unexpected Star of the show?
0:20:46 > 0:20:50- You can do it, John!- Yes. - Go on, Johnny!
0:20:50 > 0:20:53John, you're going to be sensational.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57Ladies and gentlemen, the Unexpected Star of tonight's show, it's Johnny!
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Go on, John!
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Very good. Nice to see you.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04Over here, we're going to help you out.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Tonight's Unexpected Star is Santa!
0:21:06 > 0:21:09CHEERING
0:21:09 > 0:21:13Ladies and gentlemen, with a very special Christmas performance,
0:21:13 > 0:21:17it's the triple Brit Award-winning soul sensation, Seal.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33MUSIC: Let It Snow
0:21:33 > 0:21:38AUDIENCE CLAP ALONG
0:21:38 > 0:21:42# Oh, the weather outside is frightful
0:21:42 > 0:21:47# But the fire is so delightful
0:21:47 > 0:21:51# And since we got no place to go
0:21:51 > 0:21:54# Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
0:21:56 > 0:21:59# It doesn't show signs of stopping
0:22:00 > 0:22:03# But I've brought some corn for popping
0:22:04 > 0:22:08# The lights are turned way down low
0:22:08 > 0:22:12# Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
0:22:12 > 0:22:16# When we finally say good night
0:22:16 > 0:22:21# How I'll hate going out in the storm
0:22:21 > 0:22:25# But if you really just hold me tight
0:22:25 > 0:22:30# All the way home, I'll be warm
0:22:30 > 0:22:34# The fire is slowly dying
0:22:34 > 0:22:38# And, my dear, we're still goodbye-ing
0:22:38 > 0:22:41# As long as you love me so
0:22:42 > 0:22:46# Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Yeah!
0:22:51 > 0:22:57CHEERING
0:23:03 > 0:23:05MUSIC: Jingle Bells
0:23:06 > 0:23:09# Jingle all the way
0:23:09 > 0:23:10MUSIC REVERTS TO LET IT SNOW
0:23:10 > 0:23:14# When we finally say goodnight
0:23:14 > 0:23:19# How I'll hate going out in the storm
0:23:19 > 0:23:23# But if you really just hold me tight
0:23:23 > 0:23:27# Ooh, all the way home, I'll be warm
0:23:27 > 0:23:32# Oh, the weather outside is frightful
0:23:32 > 0:23:36# But that fire is so delightful
0:23:36 > 0:23:40# Since we got no place to go
0:23:40 > 0:23:48# Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. #
0:23:50 > 0:23:54CHEERING
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Yay!
0:24:00 > 0:24:07- It's Seal, ladies and gentlemen! Thank you, so, so much. Brilliant. Sensational.- Thank you.
0:24:07 > 0:24:08Let it snow!
0:24:08 > 0:24:11- What a wonderful festive moment. - It's Christmas now, isn't it?
0:24:11 > 0:24:14We are feeling it so much more after that amazing performance.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17One more time, please, for the sensational Seal.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19Thank you so, so, much, Seal.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Incredible. Seal's in town!
0:24:30 > 0:24:32All right, ladies and gentlemen.
0:24:32 > 0:24:37Who would like to play Christmas Send To All?
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Oh, fun!
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Fun!
0:24:41 > 0:24:42Fun, fun, fun!
0:24:42 > 0:24:46So this is where I take a celebrity's mobile phone,
0:24:46 > 0:24:48and send a text of our choosing to their contacts,
0:24:48 > 0:24:52and we see what hilarious replies they get at the end of the show.
0:24:52 > 0:24:58So let's find out who is in our Christmas Send To All box.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02She's turned the Christmas lights on, in Leeds,
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Blackburn and Preston!
0:25:05 > 0:25:06And this year,
0:25:06 > 0:25:11she has the esteemed responsibility of turning the Christmas lights on
0:25:11 > 0:25:13in Coventry and Perth, in Scotland.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17But tonight, she's turning on the Christmas lights
0:25:17 > 0:25:20in our Send To All box, three, two, one...
0:25:22 > 0:25:25Yay! It's Alesha Dixon!
0:25:25 > 0:25:29- Hi, Alesha.- Hello, Michael.
0:25:29 > 0:25:30How are you?
0:25:30 > 0:25:34And who is this hunk beside you?
0:25:34 > 0:25:37- This is my lovely husband, AZ.- AZ?
0:25:37 > 0:25:39How are you, my friend?
0:25:39 > 0:25:41- You can call him Azuka. - Well, thank you both for coming.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44- Thanks for having us.- Now let's talk about Christmas.
0:25:44 > 0:25:45- Big fan of Christmas? - I love Christmas.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48It's like the only time of the year that I get to spend quality time
0:25:48 > 0:25:50with friends and family.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53I'm very lucky that both of us have brothers
0:25:53 > 0:25:55who are amazing cooks.
0:25:55 > 0:25:56So we just lap it up.
0:25:56 > 0:25:57And when do you open presents?
0:25:57 > 0:26:00First thing in the morning? Because your daughter is how old?
0:26:00 > 0:26:01She's just turned four.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04So we let her open some presents in the morning, but we like to,
0:26:04 > 0:26:07kind of, like, stretch it out throughout the day.
0:26:07 > 0:26:08We open our gifts after dinner.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Everybody puts so much effort into it as well.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13- It's really nice.- And then you go over for the hug.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16You make your way, wade through the wrapping paper.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19Whoever gets the job of cleaning up the rubbish, that's the worst job.
0:26:19 > 0:26:20That's Azuka?
0:26:20 > 0:26:22No, no, that's the other brother.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24How many brothers have you got
0:26:24 > 0:26:26that just do stuff for you around the house?
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Brother number four, please.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31I've dropped some... I can't find the end of the Sellotape.
0:26:31 > 0:26:32Where's the end of the Sellotape?
0:26:32 > 0:26:33Brother, come.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37No, honestly... Every year we have a different present distributor,
0:26:37 > 0:26:39because that takes time.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Last year I got a drone for my main present.
0:26:41 > 0:26:45- Did you?- I flew it into myself, and...
0:26:45 > 0:26:47..ended up in casualty, yeah, I did.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50I got a bit confused, because I'd had a drink at lunch.
0:26:50 > 0:26:51And I thought... It just flew towards me,
0:26:51 > 0:26:54and I just dropped the controls and ran.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56I cut my fingers. I went to casualty,
0:26:56 > 0:26:59it was the most middle-class casualty visit ever.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04- Anyway. Thank you so much for being here.- Thanks for having us.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06We are all very grateful, we're going to have a lot of fun.
0:27:06 > 0:27:07- Yes, we are.- Now, listen,
0:27:07 > 0:27:11I would ask you to put your phone into our Christmas pudding.
0:27:11 > 0:27:15But I presume you need to summon a sibling to do that for you?
0:27:15 > 0:27:18- Yes, can I just call my sister? - Call your sister.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20Can she pop it in the Christmas pud?
0:27:20 > 0:27:23So, Alesha's going to pop her phone now into the Christmas pudding.
0:27:23 > 0:27:28- Oh, I'm nervous.- And I'm going to bring that down now. Bye-bye, phone.
0:27:28 > 0:27:35MUSIC: All I Want For Christmas
0:27:37 > 0:27:39Yay!
0:27:41 > 0:27:44Thank you. Thank you!
0:27:44 > 0:27:45OK, this is it.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47It's Alesha's phone, ladies and gentlemen.
0:27:50 > 0:27:51OK.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53So, oh, this is your lovely daughter.
0:27:53 > 0:27:58- Yes. Azura.- Oh, brilliant. All right. So, do you have photos?
0:27:58 > 0:27:59Yes. Photos.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01Christmassy ones.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04Oh, look, that's me, freezing cold in Lapland, smiling, pretending it's really warm.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06But, actually, it was -22.
0:28:06 > 0:28:10I'm going to be honest with you, Alesha. It looks -22!
0:28:10 > 0:28:12This is you and...
0:28:12 > 0:28:14This is me and Rudolph.
0:28:14 > 0:28:18To be honest, you haven't allowed Rudolph to confirm his identity
0:28:18 > 0:28:21due to your selfie selfishness...
0:28:22 > 0:28:24- Oi, red nose... - Do you know what?- ..I'm coming in.
0:28:27 > 0:28:30So, you say it's Rudolph.
0:28:30 > 0:28:33So that's Rudolph the no-nosed reindeer.
0:28:35 > 0:28:37Hello.
0:28:37 > 0:28:38Hello!
0:28:38 > 0:28:41This looks a bit more like Azuka's screensaver.
0:28:43 > 0:28:44What's the story here though?
0:28:44 > 0:28:47There is no story other than we just got ready
0:28:47 > 0:28:49for the Glam squad, we always do a bit of a photo shoot.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52You know, before we start the day.
0:28:52 > 0:28:56- Why not?- I do pretty much the same thing before the show.
0:28:56 > 0:28:58My Glam squad consists of people going,
0:28:58 > 0:29:01"Tuck your shirt into your pants otherwise it will pop out."
0:29:04 > 0:29:07Oh, your lovely daughter.
0:29:07 > 0:29:08Oh, she's completely adorable.
0:29:08 > 0:29:12- Thank you.- Right, I think it's time to put the...
0:29:12 > 0:29:16- Romantic date night? - That was in Ibiza.
0:29:16 > 0:29:18- In the summer.- Really?- Yes.
0:29:18 > 0:29:19This is your trademark cap.
0:29:19 > 0:29:21- My lucky cap.- Your lucky cap.
0:29:21 > 0:29:24I did say to him before the show, are you going to wear that hat?
0:29:24 > 0:29:25- And I said yes.- He said yes.
0:29:25 > 0:29:26It's my lucky cap.
0:29:26 > 0:29:30Azuka, I think we can upgrade your hat.
0:29:30 > 0:29:31Come on, come on.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33Give us the hat, mate.
0:29:33 > 0:29:35Come on, it's Christmas.
0:29:35 > 0:29:36Come on.
0:29:36 > 0:29:38Here we go. Here we go.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40Boom!
0:29:40 > 0:29:43Come on, Azuka... He's put it on top of it!
0:29:47 > 0:29:48Still too cool.
0:29:48 > 0:29:51I'll take that. I'll take that.
0:29:51 > 0:29:55- OK, so let's put the text into the telephone.- I'm so nervous.
0:29:55 > 0:29:57Don't worry, this is always fun.
0:29:57 > 0:30:00I am worried, my daughter's teacher is in my phone!
0:30:00 > 0:30:04Yes, and she will really love to receive this message.
0:30:04 > 0:30:05I'd like to...
0:30:06 > 0:30:08..invite you...
0:30:08 > 0:30:10round...
0:30:10 > 0:30:12for...
0:30:12 > 0:30:13Christmas...
0:30:15 > 0:30:16..Day.
0:30:18 > 0:30:20Yes, Alesha, you're going to be inviting
0:30:20 > 0:30:24everybody you know to your house this Christmas.
0:30:25 > 0:30:27It's SO...
0:30:27 > 0:30:29fun!
0:30:29 > 0:30:31I sing hits...
0:30:31 > 0:30:33Oh, my goodness!
0:30:34 > 0:30:36..from my back catalogue...
0:30:39 > 0:30:40..and judge presents...
0:30:43 > 0:30:44That's good!
0:30:44 > 0:30:46..BGT style.
0:30:48 > 0:30:51OK. Everyone...
0:30:51 > 0:30:53brings something.
0:30:53 > 0:30:55Let's give some examples.
0:30:55 > 0:30:56Louis Walsh...
0:30:59 > 0:31:00..is on potatoes.
0:31:04 > 0:31:06Tess Daly...
0:31:07 > 0:31:09..on eggnog.
0:31:11 > 0:31:13And Craig David
0:31:13 > 0:31:15is dressing up as Santa.
0:31:17 > 0:31:18This is a good invitation.
0:31:18 > 0:31:21It's a VERY good invitation!
0:31:21 > 0:31:26Please come and let me know what you...can...bring.
0:31:27 > 0:31:30OK, how would you sign a text, Alesha?
0:31:30 > 0:31:33- Kiss, kiss, kiss.- Do you think we should add a little line in there?
0:31:33 > 0:31:35I'm going massive this Christmas.
0:31:35 > 0:31:36I'm mixing things up.
0:31:36 > 0:31:38I'm mixing things... Thank you for your contribution!
0:31:38 > 0:31:40Yeah!
0:31:40 > 0:31:43"I'm mixing things up this year."
0:31:43 > 0:31:44- Yeah...- Yeah!
0:31:46 > 0:31:49So we've added, "I'm mixing things up this year.
0:31:49 > 0:31:53"I'd like to invite you round for Christmas Day, it's SO fun.
0:31:53 > 0:31:56"I sing hits from my back catalogue, and judge presents BGT style.
0:31:56 > 0:31:59"Everyone brings something. Louis Walsh is on potatoes.
0:31:59 > 0:32:03"Tess Daly is on eggnog, and Craig David is dressing up as Santa.
0:32:03 > 0:32:05"Please come and let me know what you can bring."
0:32:05 > 0:32:06Yes!
0:32:07 > 0:32:09Shall we send the text?
0:32:09 > 0:32:11Shall we do it?
0:32:11 > 0:32:13It's happening. Yeah!
0:32:15 > 0:32:20We will find out later on who's going round Alesha's for Christmas.
0:32:20 > 0:32:24Thank you very much, Alesha Dixon and Azuka.
0:32:25 > 0:32:26Thank you so much.
0:32:26 > 0:32:29Ah, ladies and gentlemen.
0:32:29 > 0:32:35This Christmas, if you hear the patter of footsteps on your rooftop,
0:32:35 > 0:32:39or the sound of someone coming down your chimney, it could, of course,
0:32:39 > 0:32:42be Father Christmas. Or... it could be me.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44and the Big Show, because it's time to play
0:32:44 > 0:32:47the Christmas Midnight Gameshow!
0:32:52 > 0:32:54In the Midnight Gameshow,
0:32:54 > 0:32:58the contestants had no idea that they would be taking part.
0:32:58 > 0:33:01They went to sleep, safe and sound, tucked up in their beds,
0:33:01 > 0:33:04only to be woken in the dead of night by me and the camera crew,
0:33:04 > 0:33:06to answer a series of questions
0:33:06 > 0:33:09while semiconscious in the Midnight Gameshow!
0:33:11 > 0:33:12Yes, ladies and gentlemen,
0:33:12 > 0:33:16- it's the only game where if you snooze... ALL:- You lose!
0:33:16 > 0:33:18Very good!
0:33:19 > 0:33:23OK, our Christmas Midnight Gameshow contestant is Nick -
0:33:23 > 0:33:26he was nominated by his girlfriend Frankie
0:33:26 > 0:33:30and Nick and Frankie are here with us tonight. Ladies and gentlemen,
0:33:30 > 0:33:32please give it up for Nick and Frankie
0:33:32 > 0:33:35in The Christmas Midnight Gameshow!
0:33:35 > 0:33:37Oh, yes.
0:33:37 > 0:33:39Hi, guys. Hi, Nick!
0:33:39 > 0:33:41So good to see you.
0:33:41 > 0:33:43Hi, Frankie. Lovely to see you both.
0:33:45 > 0:33:49Oh, it's so nice to see you all dressed up of an evening.
0:33:49 > 0:33:51I wore my good pants.
0:33:51 > 0:33:52- You wore your good pants? - That night.
0:33:52 > 0:33:56That night? So, obviously, you were set up by Frankie.
0:33:56 > 0:33:58Frankie gave us the keys to your home
0:33:58 > 0:34:00and you insisted that Nick put on his good pants?
0:34:00 > 0:34:02Well, I told him to wear some clothes.
0:34:02 > 0:34:04You did try to get him to groom himself a bit...
0:34:04 > 0:34:07I told him to shave this a little bit, sort his hair out.
0:34:07 > 0:34:09Shave the beard, sort the hair out?
0:34:09 > 0:34:12Did you not anticipate a more entertaining evening than an early night?
0:34:12 > 0:34:15Well, I just went along with it.
0:34:15 > 0:34:16You just went along with it?
0:34:16 > 0:34:18OK. You're there with,
0:34:18 > 0:34:20there's three different generations living in this house.
0:34:20 > 0:34:24- Who was in the house?- There's me, Mum and Dad and my Nan.
0:34:24 > 0:34:26- How old is your nan?- 88.
0:34:26 > 0:34:2888? She's 88 years old?
0:34:28 > 0:34:32And she has a stairlift in the home,
0:34:32 > 0:34:37which added a lot of excitement to the Midnight Gameshow.
0:34:37 > 0:34:40Thank you for your wearing your best pants.
0:34:40 > 0:34:44I think when we all see this, we will all be, and you most of all,
0:34:44 > 0:34:48incredibly grateful to Frankie for putting those pants on.
0:34:48 > 0:34:50Yes.
0:34:50 > 0:34:56Ladies and gentlemen, let's enjoy Nick's Christmas Midnight Gameshow.
0:36:00 > 0:36:02LIFT BEEPS
0:36:02 > 0:36:04LAUGHTER
0:36:19 > 0:36:20LAUGHTER
0:36:37 > 0:36:38BEEP AND LOUD CLICK
0:37:08 > 0:37:13MUSIC PLAYS Nick!
0:37:14 > 0:37:16Merry Christmas!
0:37:16 > 0:37:19Midnight Gameshow!
0:37:21 > 0:37:23How are you? Merry Christmas!
0:37:24 > 0:37:26Good to see you!
0:37:26 > 0:37:28Here are the elves.
0:37:28 > 0:37:30- Hey, Nick - how are you doing? - I'm all right.
0:37:30 > 0:37:33- Merry Christmas.- Merry Christmas to yourself, too.
0:37:33 > 0:37:36We need to crack on, so, let's get things started, Nick,
0:37:36 > 0:37:39by opening this cracker.
0:37:39 > 0:37:41Thank you very much to my elf friend.
0:37:41 > 0:37:43Nick, we're going to pull this cracker.
0:37:45 > 0:37:47Look at that, what a start!
0:37:47 > 0:37:51There you go. Get your hat on and we'll get this party started!
0:37:51 > 0:37:53The bedside clock is ticking.
0:37:53 > 0:37:56- Surreal.- Taking this in your stride, Nick.
0:37:56 > 0:37:57- Just about, yeah.- There you go.
0:37:57 > 0:38:00Your first questions are to guess the punch line
0:38:00 > 0:38:02- of these classic Christmas cracker jokes.- OK.
0:38:02 > 0:38:04All right, Nick.
0:38:04 > 0:38:09Fully focused, what would you call a blind reindeer?
0:38:09 > 0:38:11- No eye-deer.- That's the correct answer! We're flying!
0:38:13 > 0:38:17What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
0:38:17 > 0:38:19I have no idea.
0:38:20 > 0:38:25Maybe you accidentally got the first one correct!
0:38:25 > 0:38:26When you said "no idea" on the first one,
0:38:26 > 0:38:28was that your answer?
0:38:28 > 0:38:29Yes, that was my answer!
0:38:31 > 0:38:36Your third joke is, what do you get when you cross Santa with a duck?
0:38:36 > 0:38:38- A Christmas cracker.- Christmas...?
0:38:38 > 0:38:40- Quacker!- Correct answer!
0:38:40 > 0:38:43Two out of three, well done, Nick.
0:38:43 > 0:38:46Now, I'm going to ask you to complete
0:38:46 > 0:38:49this well-known lyric
0:38:49 > 0:38:53from a beautiful Christmas song.
0:38:53 > 0:38:55# Ding-dong merrily on high
0:38:55 > 0:38:57# In Heav'n the bells are ringing
0:38:57 > 0:39:00# Ding-dong! Verily the sky
0:39:00 > 0:39:02# Is riv'n with angel singing...
0:39:03 > 0:39:06# Fa-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la
0:39:06 > 0:39:08# La-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la
0:39:08 > 0:39:10# La-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la
0:39:10 > 0:39:13# Hosanna in excelsis. #
0:39:13 > 0:39:14BUZZER
0:39:14 > 0:39:18Technically, it's supposed to be "Gloria", isn't it?
0:39:18 > 0:39:19# Glo-oh-oh... #
0:39:19 > 0:39:21Next up...
0:39:21 > 0:39:23# Deck the hall with boughs of holly
0:39:23 > 0:39:25# Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
0:39:25 > 0:39:27# Tis this season to be jolly
0:39:27 > 0:39:29# Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
0:39:29 > 0:39:31ALL: # Fill the mead cup drain the barrel
0:39:31 > 0:39:33# Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
0:39:33 > 0:39:35# Troll the ancient Christmas Carol
0:39:35 > 0:39:37# Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. #
0:39:37 > 0:39:39That's absolutely outstanding.
0:39:39 > 0:39:41Thank you very much to our Christmas carollers.
0:39:41 > 0:39:44You were brilliant. You were nailing those fa-la-la-la-las!
0:39:44 > 0:39:47Well done. Nick, next up.
0:39:47 > 0:39:50Please welcome Ainsley Harriott.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52Merry Christmas, guys!
0:39:54 > 0:39:57Sorry to disturb you!
0:39:57 > 0:40:00Ainsley is here for a little bit of a Christmas food challenge.
0:40:00 > 0:40:03So, Nick, if I could please ask you
0:40:03 > 0:40:06to place this blindfold over yourself.
0:40:07 > 0:40:09Ainsley is going to feed you
0:40:09 > 0:40:12some well-known Christmas foods.
0:40:12 > 0:40:16And all you have to do, Nick, is to tell us what they are.
0:40:16 > 0:40:21So the first one is headed towards you now.
0:40:21 > 0:40:23- Here it comes.- Open wide.
0:40:24 > 0:40:26OK, Nick.
0:40:26 > 0:40:28What could that be?
0:40:28 > 0:40:29Pigs in blankets.
0:40:31 > 0:40:32Too easy for him.
0:40:32 > 0:40:34Pigs in blankets! All right.
0:40:34 > 0:40:36Food number two.
0:40:36 > 0:40:38I know you haven't finished your previous bite,
0:40:38 > 0:40:41but we're trying to make this as authentic as possible
0:40:41 > 0:40:42to Christmas Day.
0:40:42 > 0:40:45- And what one's that? - That's a bit of stuffing.
0:40:45 > 0:40:47Yes, a bit of stuffing, it is!
0:40:47 > 0:40:51You're two for two on the Christmas food challenge.
0:40:52 > 0:40:54Brussels sprouts.
0:40:54 > 0:40:56Too easy! Too easy.
0:40:56 > 0:40:58He hasn't swallowed any of this yet!
0:40:58 > 0:41:00- I know.- Come on then, Ainsley.
0:41:00 > 0:41:01Little soft one coming now.
0:41:05 > 0:41:07What was that one, Nick?
0:41:07 > 0:41:09Um, I don't know.
0:41:09 > 0:41:11Any guesses? Shove in some more!
0:41:12 > 0:41:15- Jog his memory. - Well done, Nick.
0:41:15 > 0:41:17Love the hairy chest.
0:41:18 > 0:41:20Ainsley!
0:41:21 > 0:41:22Ring any bells, that one?
0:41:22 > 0:41:24- Recognise that?- Mashed potato?
0:41:24 > 0:41:25BUZZER
0:41:25 > 0:41:27Unfortunately, that's not the correct answer.
0:41:27 > 0:41:29- One more coming in.- One more.
0:41:29 > 0:41:31This is going to finish you off completely.
0:41:34 > 0:41:35I want some!
0:41:35 > 0:41:37- And it is?- Christmas pudding.
0:41:37 > 0:41:38Yes!
0:41:40 > 0:41:42Stop the bedside clock and good night.
0:42:14 > 0:42:15- AUDIENCE:- Aaah!
0:42:33 > 0:42:35Well done! Nick and Frankie, ladies and gentlemen.
0:42:35 > 0:42:37Fantastic!
0:42:39 > 0:42:41Thank you so, so much.
0:42:42 > 0:42:45Well, there's so much to ask you, but how was that to watch?
0:42:45 > 0:42:48- Bit embarrassing. - You did very well.
0:42:48 > 0:42:50- Thank you.- You did very well.
0:42:50 > 0:42:53I thought that was very sweet, "Lucky I love ya."
0:42:53 > 0:42:56"Lucky I love ya." Wasn't that sweet, ladies and gentlemen?
0:42:56 > 0:42:58"Lucky I love ya."
0:42:58 > 0:43:02So after this happened, everything OK, get back to bed?
0:43:02 > 0:43:04- No.- No.- I didn't sleep.
0:43:04 > 0:43:07I didn't sleep for a good three or four nights.
0:43:07 > 0:43:08LAUGHTER
0:43:08 > 0:43:11I'm so sorry. I've ruined your sleep maybe forever!
0:43:11 > 0:43:14Thank you so, so much for setting him up.
0:43:14 > 0:43:15Thank you for being so brilliant.
0:43:15 > 0:43:18Of course you win your iconic
0:43:18 > 0:43:21Christmas Midnight Gameshow "do not disturb" sign.
0:43:21 > 0:43:24You'll get back to sleep now, to ensure this doesn't happen again.
0:43:24 > 0:43:27Also I have a no-eyed deer here
0:43:27 > 0:43:30for you, there is a deer,
0:43:30 > 0:43:31there's your no-eyed-deer.
0:43:31 > 0:43:35And of course, let's not forget some bread sauce to
0:43:35 > 0:43:36remember the occasion.
0:43:36 > 0:43:37Ladies and gentlemen,
0:43:37 > 0:43:40our Christmas Midnight Gameshow and the incredible Nick
0:43:40 > 0:43:43and "you're lucky I love ya", it's Frankie.
0:43:43 > 0:43:46Thank you very much.
0:43:46 > 0:43:48Thank you guys, thank you so, so much. Fantastic.
0:43:50 > 0:43:53Time now for another Christmas treat.
0:43:53 > 0:43:55He is simply one of the funniest men in the world.
0:43:55 > 0:43:58And who doesn't love Baileys at Christmas?
0:43:58 > 0:43:59It's Bill Bailey!
0:43:59 > 0:44:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:44:13 > 0:44:14So.
0:44:16 > 0:44:18Christmas, a time of reflection.
0:44:18 > 0:44:21No more so than right now when my wife and I are contemplating our
0:44:21 > 0:44:2220 years of marriage. And... Yes.
0:44:22 > 0:44:24WHOOPS
0:44:24 > 0:44:27And we're looking back to the time when we first met,
0:44:27 > 0:44:30reminiscing about those heady romantic days
0:44:30 > 0:44:35when she used to ask me questions that I did not know the answer to.
0:44:35 > 0:44:37Questions like, "What are you thinking?"
0:44:40 > 0:44:42Blokes, we're a little bit more simplistic, aren't we?
0:44:42 > 0:44:44We're a little bit more straightforward.
0:44:44 > 0:44:45We don't tend to overthink things.
0:44:45 > 0:44:49Domesticated blokes like myself, we've figured it out.
0:44:49 > 0:44:50Basically, it's this.
0:44:50 > 0:44:55Carry stuff, try not to get in the way, and then we die.
0:44:55 > 0:44:56LAUGHTER
0:44:58 > 0:45:01Now, women want a bit more than that, though.
0:45:01 > 0:45:05Blokes tend to drift off, during emotional conversations.
0:45:05 > 0:45:08But that works to our advantage.
0:45:08 > 0:45:10When we're gazing off into the middle distance,
0:45:10 > 0:45:14a wistful, yet vacant look on our faces,
0:45:14 > 0:45:17women often mistake that for intelligence.
0:45:20 > 0:45:22When we're looking off like that, we've gone into like,
0:45:22 > 0:45:24a sort of power-saving mode.
0:45:31 > 0:45:33We might be watching the sunset.
0:45:33 > 0:45:34"What are you thinking?" Honestly?
0:45:34 > 0:45:37I'm thinking about a sandwich I had in 2002.
0:45:40 > 0:45:42Or we might be sitting at the kitchen table
0:45:42 > 0:45:44going through the accounts,
0:45:44 > 0:45:46I'm looking like I'm listening, "Yeah, oh, yeah."
0:45:46 > 0:45:50But what I'm actually thinking is, "If I had a long, thin, bendy neck,
0:45:50 > 0:45:52"I could see what's under the fridge."
0:46:01 > 0:46:03And we might be out for our anniversary dinner
0:46:03 > 0:46:06and she's looking across the table, we've got a candle,
0:46:06 > 0:46:09it's very romantic and she might say, "What are you thinking?"
0:46:09 > 0:46:10And I might say,
0:46:10 > 0:46:13"Well, I'm thinking about what we might do when we get home."
0:46:13 > 0:46:14Ooh! Oh. And what would that be?
0:46:14 > 0:46:16Well, I'm thinking,
0:46:16 > 0:46:18if I lie down next to the bathroom scales,
0:46:18 > 0:46:20could I weigh my own head?
0:46:34 > 0:46:36Yeah, you're laughing now. You'll be trying that later on.
0:46:38 > 0:46:41Now, I love carols.
0:46:41 > 0:46:42Even the depressing ones.
0:46:42 > 0:46:45Yeah, like In The Bleak Midwinter.
0:46:45 > 0:46:48Cos that's pretty downbeat, isn't it? But the music is upbeat.
0:46:48 > 0:46:49It's in the major key.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52# In the bleak mid winter frosty wind made moan
0:46:52 > 0:46:57# Earth as hard as iron Water like a stone... #
0:46:57 > 0:46:58Oi!
0:46:58 > 0:47:00You know, it's upbeat.
0:47:05 > 0:47:06And what I love about that is
0:47:06 > 0:47:09there's a kind of a poignancy given to it
0:47:09 > 0:47:11because the lyric is downbeat, but the music is upbeat.
0:47:11 > 0:47:14There's a conflict there and I think that's why I love it.
0:47:14 > 0:47:15It's one of my favourite carols.
0:47:15 > 0:47:18I think this could benefit a lot of other songs that are quite bland,
0:47:18 > 0:47:19like, you know...
0:47:19 > 0:47:21# You are my sunshine
0:47:21 > 0:47:24# My only sunshine...#
0:47:24 > 0:47:26Much better in the minor key.
0:47:26 > 0:47:31# You are my sunshine My only sunshine
0:47:31 > 0:47:34# You make me happy
0:47:34 > 0:47:37# When skies are grey
0:47:37 > 0:47:40# You'll never know, dear How much I love you
0:47:40 > 0:47:45# Oh, please don't take my sunshine away. #
0:47:53 > 0:47:55Also, I'm using melody there,
0:47:55 > 0:47:58I'm using harmony, melody, minor and major keys.
0:47:58 > 0:48:00Now, you can use this to improve all kinds of music.
0:48:00 > 0:48:03Now, mobile phone ringtones, a bit of a scourge,
0:48:03 > 0:48:06a bit of an annoyance of the modern age.
0:48:06 > 0:48:08You know, things like this, a common ringtone.
0:48:08 > 0:48:10RINGTONE PLAYS
0:48:10 > 0:48:14You can improve it by playing along with it, in a kind of counterpoint.
0:48:14 > 0:48:16I like to join in, like this.
0:48:18 > 0:48:20Here's the ringtone, here's the counterpoint.
0:48:27 > 0:48:29It sounds a bit better. Now...
0:48:29 > 0:48:30APPLAUSE
0:48:31 > 0:48:34If you want to...go that extra mile,
0:48:34 > 0:48:36you can add more instruments
0:48:36 > 0:48:39and turn it into a little ringtone symphony, like this.
0:48:39 > 0:48:41PLAYS RINGTONE
0:48:42 > 0:48:44ADDS BACKGROUND CHORD
0:48:49 > 0:48:51Uno, dos, tres, cuatro!
0:48:53 > 0:48:56PLAYS SAMPLE
0:49:24 > 0:49:27PLAYS COUNTERPOINT
0:49:32 > 0:49:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:49:35 > 0:49:37Thank you very much.
0:49:37 > 0:49:40I'd like to finish up tonight by playing on the Christmas bells.
0:49:40 > 0:49:43And for this I have a helper, a special helper,
0:49:43 > 0:49:45please welcome back on the stage Mr Michael McIntyre!
0:49:47 > 0:49:49- Are you ready for this?- Thank you.
0:49:49 > 0:49:51Here we go.
0:49:51 > 0:49:53Now we have to get over to the bells sharpish, here we go.
0:49:54 > 0:49:56Some beautiful cowbells.
0:49:56 > 0:49:59- I'm ready.- Some beautiful Christmas carols.
0:49:59 > 0:50:03PLAYS MELODY OF SILENT NIGHT
0:50:28 > 0:50:29Ready?
0:50:43 > 0:50:44Yes!
0:50:49 > 0:50:51Absolutely sensational, Bill Bailey.
0:50:51 > 0:50:54What about that? Take a bow, Bill, that was absolutely amazing.
0:50:57 > 0:51:00Thank you very much, Merry Christmas!
0:51:01 > 0:51:03Thank you so, so much.
0:51:08 > 0:51:10Now, ladies and gentlemen,
0:51:10 > 0:51:13it is time to find out what replies Alesha Dixon
0:51:13 > 0:51:18has received in our Christmas Send To All!
0:51:20 > 0:51:22So...
0:51:22 > 0:51:26This is the message that I sent to her contacts earlier tonight.
0:51:26 > 0:51:28"I'm mixing things up this year.
0:51:28 > 0:51:31"I'd like to invite you round for Christmas Day.
0:51:31 > 0:51:33"It's SO fun.
0:51:33 > 0:51:35"I sing hits from my back catalogue
0:51:35 > 0:51:37"and judge presents BGT style.
0:51:37 > 0:51:40"Everyone brings something. Louis Walsh is on potatoes,
0:51:40 > 0:51:43"Tess Daly's on eggnog and Craig David is dressing up as Santa.
0:51:43 > 0:51:46"PLEASE come and let me know what you can bring."
0:51:46 > 0:51:48Christmas tree emoji, triple kiss.
0:51:50 > 0:51:53- Alesha.- Hey.- Hi, Azuka.- Hey.
0:51:53 > 0:51:56You're just as cool as I remember.
0:51:56 > 0:51:58So...let's have a quick look.
0:51:58 > 0:51:59Paddy McGuinness.
0:51:59 > 0:52:01Oh, no!
0:52:02 > 0:52:05Paddy McGuinness has replied,
0:52:05 > 0:52:09"I can bring three children under the age of five
0:52:09 > 0:52:11"and pick them up when the pub closes.
0:52:18 > 0:52:20That's Paddy.
0:52:20 > 0:52:23Stephen Mulhern has just texted.
0:52:23 > 0:52:25- Oh! Oh! They replied back. - Stephen Mulhern has said,
0:52:25 > 0:52:29"I'll come as Father Christmas and give you all a treat from my sack.
0:52:29 > 0:52:31"It's always full."
0:52:38 > 0:52:40OK!
0:52:40 > 0:52:42Nadine Coyle.
0:52:42 > 0:52:45"Louis Walsh is doing potatoes??
0:52:45 > 0:52:46"Come to mine instead!"
0:52:50 > 0:52:52"Come to mine instead!"
0:52:52 > 0:52:55Ha, ha, and then the little kissing emoji.
0:52:56 > 0:52:58Donna the woodworks...
0:52:58 > 0:53:02- Oh, yeah.- Who's that?- She's just currently doing my kitchen in my...
0:53:02 > 0:53:05She's from a company called wood works and she does...
0:53:05 > 0:53:07She's a designer. Yes, she's...
0:53:07 > 0:53:10Doing the kitchen. "We are absolutely gutted to miss this" -
0:53:10 > 0:53:11sad face -
0:53:11 > 0:53:14"but Richard and I are away this Christmas,
0:53:14 > 0:53:18"obviously going after we have finished your kitchen.
0:53:20 > 0:53:23"It is so lovely for you guys to invite us.
0:53:23 > 0:53:26"We would absolutely have loved
0:53:26 > 0:53:30"to have come and we are so touched as it's super thoughtful
0:53:30 > 0:53:32"of you to invite us.
0:53:32 > 0:53:33"Love you guys.
0:53:33 > 0:53:35"Big hugs."
0:53:37 > 0:53:39I think I'm going to reply to that.
0:53:39 > 0:53:42"When are you back from holiday? We'll delay Christmas."
0:53:42 > 0:53:43No, don't reply!
0:53:45 > 0:53:46Oh, dear. That is so...
0:53:46 > 0:53:48- They're so touched.- That's funny.
0:53:48 > 0:53:50She's turned to her husband and she's gone,
0:53:50 > 0:53:53"I've just got the loveliest invitation."
0:53:53 > 0:53:55She's not questioned it at all.
0:53:55 > 0:53:57You know, "Google Craig David.
0:53:57 > 0:54:00"Apparently, he's going to be dressed up as Santa, that's so fun!
0:54:00 > 0:54:01"I love Louis Walsh.
0:54:01 > 0:54:04"He's probably good at potatoes, being from Ireland."
0:54:05 > 0:54:07That's so funny. OK.
0:54:07 > 0:54:10- Aston.- That's Aston Merrygold from JLS.
0:54:10 > 0:54:11WHOOPING Aaah.
0:54:13 > 0:54:15He's coming, I can tell you that.
0:54:15 > 0:54:19He's just replied, "Coming, with jerk chicken, rice and peas."
0:54:22 > 0:54:23Aston is IN!
0:54:24 > 0:54:27He's on jerk chicken brief, it's Christmas.
0:54:28 > 0:54:30OK, let's keep moving.
0:54:30 > 0:54:31Vicky. Ah, Vicky.
0:54:31 > 0:54:33- Vicky?- Is my best friend.
0:54:33 > 0:54:34Yeah, she is so onto this.
0:54:34 > 0:54:37- What does she say?- "Only if Michael McIntyre's going to be there!"
0:54:37 > 0:54:39Ah, there you go!
0:54:44 > 0:54:45Er...
0:54:45 > 0:54:48Richard Arnold. He's on breakfast television.
0:54:48 > 0:54:50- Showbiz Richard.- TV reviews, bit of showbiz.
0:54:50 > 0:54:51Yes, what did he say?
0:54:51 > 0:54:56"I would do, but my mother is electronically tagged."
0:55:00 > 0:55:02There's more, there's more.
0:55:04 > 0:55:05He says, "I would do,
0:55:05 > 0:55:08"but my mother is electronically tagged and can't leave the house.
0:55:08 > 0:55:10"Astonishingly, really,
0:55:10 > 0:55:14"she's 80 and can scarcely lift herself out of her seat,
0:55:14 > 0:55:18"but she can still lift a frozen chicken from Tesco's.
0:55:18 > 0:55:19LAUGHTER
0:55:20 > 0:55:22Oh, my goodness!
0:55:24 > 0:55:26Ladies and gentlemen, so, so fun,
0:55:26 > 0:55:28what a busy Christmas day you're going to have.
0:55:28 > 0:55:31Thank you so much, what a great Send To All.
0:55:31 > 0:55:34Alesha Dixon and of course Azuka!
0:55:34 > 0:55:37Thank you so much both of you, you were absolutely brilliant.
0:55:37 > 0:55:39Thank you.
0:55:39 > 0:55:40So...
0:55:40 > 0:55:42Ladies and gentlemen,
0:55:42 > 0:55:45earlier tonight John dressed as Santa and came down the chimney,
0:55:45 > 0:55:49shot through the fireplace and arrived on this very stage.
0:55:49 > 0:55:52Since then, he's been rehearsing for the biggest performance of his life.
0:55:52 > 0:55:56Let's have a little look at how John has been getting on since that
0:55:56 > 0:55:58incredible surprise earlier.
0:56:00 > 0:56:02I feel as if I'm dreaming.
0:56:02 > 0:56:04We were, like, coming down to London,
0:56:04 > 0:56:06and I've just seen Michael McIntyre.
0:56:06 > 0:56:08Hey, Johnny!
0:56:08 > 0:56:09The dog's fine, the dog's fine!
0:56:13 > 0:56:16Santa! He seemed very shocked that he'd been lied to!
0:56:16 > 0:56:18We've got 40 choir singing with you.
0:56:18 > 0:56:21- Oh, wow.- So you have to make sure you lead the way for them.
0:56:21 > 0:56:24When you hear 40 singers in a gospel choir and a solo voice,
0:56:24 > 0:56:27there's something really magical about that, but it's really
0:56:27 > 0:56:29important not to get lost in that sound,
0:56:29 > 0:56:30so he's got to kind of really ride
0:56:30 > 0:56:32that beautiful vocal.
0:56:32 > 0:56:33I just need to stop shaking
0:56:33 > 0:56:34and go for it, hopefully.
0:56:34 > 0:56:36Give it up for John!
0:56:37 > 0:56:40That was a privilege, just to sing with yous.
0:56:40 > 0:56:42Having a choir behind you, oh, it was the best feeling,
0:56:42 > 0:56:46so doing it on a big stage will be something else, I think.
0:56:49 > 0:56:51Ladies and gentlemen,
0:56:51 > 0:56:53please welcome our Unexpected Star
0:56:53 > 0:56:56of our Christmas show, it's John!
0:57:15 > 0:57:18# O holy night
0:57:18 > 0:57:24# The stars are brightly shining
0:57:24 > 0:57:31# It is the night of our dear Saviour's birth
0:57:33 > 0:57:37# Long lay the world
0:57:37 > 0:57:42# In sin and error pining
0:57:42 > 0:57:50# Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth
0:57:51 > 0:57:55# A thrill of hope
0:57:55 > 0:58:00# The weary world rejoices
0:58:00 > 0:58:03# For yonder breaks
0:58:03 > 0:58:08# A new and glorious morn
0:58:08 > 0:58:15# Fall on your knees
0:58:16 > 0:58:23# O hear the angel voices
0:58:23 > 0:58:31# O night divine
0:58:31 > 0:58:39# O night when Christ was born
0:58:41 > 0:58:48# O night divine
0:58:48 > 0:58:51# O night
0:58:51 > 0:58:56# O night divine
0:58:57 > 0:59:01# Truly He taught us
0:59:01 > 0:59:06# To love one another
0:59:06 > 0:59:14# His law is love and His gospel is peace
0:59:14 > 0:59:19# Sweet hymns of joy
0:59:19 > 0:59:24# In grateful chorus raise we
0:59:24 > 0:59:31# Let all within us praise His holy name
0:59:33 > 0:59:40# Fall on your knees
0:59:40 > 0:59:47# Oh, hear the angel voices
0:59:47 > 0:59:52# O night
0:59:52 > 0:59:56# Divine
0:59:56 > 1:00:04# O night when Christ was born
1:00:04 > 1:00:09# O night
1:00:09 > 1:00:15# Divine
1:00:15 > 1:00:19# O night
1:00:19 > 1:00:27# O night divine. #
1:00:27 > 1:00:32WILD APPLAUSE
1:00:43 > 1:00:45Ladies and gentlemen, that was amazing.
1:00:45 > 1:00:49What about that? It's our unexpected star of the show, it's John!
1:00:49 > 1:00:51What about that?
1:00:51 > 1:00:53Come on, Mum. Come up.
1:00:53 > 1:00:56Come on, Mum. Come on, Cathy!
1:01:02 > 1:01:04Oh, I love you. Are you mad at me?
1:01:13 > 1:01:15Mum said you were awesome, John.
1:01:15 > 1:01:18Tell them how you feel after that.
1:01:18 > 1:01:21It's... It still doesn't feel real!
1:01:22 > 1:01:25John, that was unbelievably good.
1:01:25 > 1:01:27That was absolutely sensational.
1:01:27 > 1:01:29Wasn't it, ladies and gentlemen? That was incredible.
1:01:29 > 1:01:32What a magical, special moment, really.
1:01:32 > 1:01:37It has been an absolute privilege, especially to sing with these guys, who are phenomenal.
1:01:38 > 1:01:40You've literally stolen this show.
1:01:40 > 1:01:42- You've been amazing.- Thank you.
1:01:42 > 1:01:45The unexpected star of our Christmas show, thank you so much, John,
1:01:45 > 1:01:48thank you for getting him down here, it was sensational.
1:01:48 > 1:01:50Ladies and gentlemen, Merry Christmas!
1:01:50 > 1:01:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1:01:54 > 1:01:55Incredible.