Episode 3

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0:00:10 > 0:00:13Tonight on my Big Show -

0:00:13 > 0:00:17football legend Alan Shearer plays Send To All,

0:00:17 > 0:00:22there's music from the wonderful Jessie J and the Stereophonics,

0:00:22 > 0:00:26I'll be creeping into another person's house to play the Midnight Game Show,

0:00:26 > 0:00:31and who will be tonight's Unexpected Star of the show?

0:00:34 > 0:00:40Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Big Show. Please welcome your host,

0:00:40 > 0:00:41Michael McIntyre.

0:00:58 > 0:01:00Yay!

0:01:03 > 0:01:05Hello. Hi.

0:01:06 > 0:01:09Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

0:01:09 > 0:01:12And welcome to my Big Show!

0:01:14 > 0:01:17Yeah!

0:01:17 > 0:01:20Tonight, of course, we will have big stars.

0:01:20 > 0:01:21CHEERING

0:01:21 > 0:01:23Big laughs.

0:01:23 > 0:01:26And even bigger surprises.

0:01:26 > 0:01:32I will, again, be playing my favourite game in the whole wide world, Send To All.

0:01:34 > 0:01:39We have the most sensational Unexpected Star of tonight's show.

0:01:42 > 0:01:45And of course I'll be sneaking into another bedroom

0:01:45 > 0:01:46for the Midnight Game Show!

0:01:51 > 0:01:53All right.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55So, it's the winter now, when the clocks go back,

0:01:55 > 0:01:58that's the autumn one, the back is the good one, because you gain an hour.

0:01:58 > 0:02:01My wife is always on at me to change the one in the kitchen. That's the clock, she likes that clock.

0:02:01 > 0:02:04She's, like, "Can you just make sure that the kitchen one...?"

0:02:04 > 0:02:06OK, every year, "Can you sort the kitchen one out?

0:02:06 > 0:02:08"Can you change that for me, darling? Cos it's on the other time

0:02:08 > 0:02:10"and the clocks have changed now, the clocks have gone back."

0:02:10 > 0:02:13Sounds an easy job. As you take the clock, it's like an old-fashioned clock,

0:02:13 > 0:02:16take it off the wall and there's just the nail sticking out,

0:02:16 > 0:02:19and on the back there's a wire, then you fiddle it, you fiddle it.

0:02:19 > 0:02:22There's a little, little box, like a tiny little mechanism

0:02:22 > 0:02:24with an AA battery, which I think is our favourite.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26I think it's our favourite battery,

0:02:26 > 0:02:29cos we know that we always have it in stock, you know?

0:02:29 > 0:02:31If it's AA, I probably have that, I have it.

0:02:33 > 0:02:34Triple A is OK.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36Cs and Ds it gets a little bit more tense.

0:02:36 > 0:02:39When it's a square one you're like, "There's no way I've got this one."

0:02:41 > 0:02:43The square one has a life under it.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45You don't even need to put it in. The square one,

0:02:45 > 0:02:48there's a wire and a hat, you can actually put it on...

0:02:48 > 0:02:51I'm outside of the appliance, I'm the square battery.

0:02:51 > 0:02:53Anyway, you twiddle it back an hour and then you think,

0:02:53 > 0:02:54"I'll just pop that back on the wall."

0:02:54 > 0:02:57There's the nail, there's the wire, you keep a visual on the nail,

0:02:57 > 0:03:00visual on the wire, you start moving the clock towards the wall.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03You maintain visuals, I see the nail, there's the wire.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05You lose visuals, but you don't panic.

0:03:05 > 0:03:09You just adjust your position and that should slot nicely onto the...

0:03:09 > 0:03:11Why hasn't it?

0:03:11 > 0:03:13You don't panic, you look again.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15There's the nail, there's the wire

0:03:15 > 0:03:16and it's just hovering above it,

0:03:16 > 0:03:22so if I don't move it and then move it in, that should just slot on...

0:03:22 > 0:03:23I don't understand.

0:03:23 > 0:03:25After a while, you don't even look,

0:03:25 > 0:03:29you just start dragging it down the wall, surely it should collect the nail?

0:03:29 > 0:03:32It's like someone's standing behind the wall just removing the nail.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35"Ssh, don't tell him."

0:03:35 > 0:03:39Last year, it took me over an hour to put the clock back on the wall.

0:03:39 > 0:03:42I lost the hour that we'd gained from the clocks going back.

0:03:44 > 0:03:46For most people the clocks go back an hour.

0:03:46 > 0:03:48For me, they went forward seven minutes.

0:03:50 > 0:03:55OK. Ladies and gentlemen, who would like to play Send To All?

0:03:55 > 0:03:58CHEERING

0:04:00 > 0:04:03So, let's see who's in our

0:04:03 > 0:04:05Send To All box this week.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07Ladies and gentlemen,

0:04:07 > 0:04:13please welcome the Premier League's highest ever goal scorer,

0:04:13 > 0:04:15a bona fide legend.

0:04:15 > 0:04:18I'm going to start you off - Shearer! Shearer!

0:04:18 > 0:04:21CROWD CHANTS: Shearer! Shearer!

0:04:21 > 0:04:23It's Alan Shearer, ladies and gentlemen!

0:04:24 > 0:04:28Yay! Hi!

0:04:28 > 0:04:29Hello.

0:04:30 > 0:04:34How many times a day, honestly, do people say the word, "Legend"?

0:04:34 > 0:04:36- I never tire of it. - You'll never tire of it!

0:04:36 > 0:04:39What about actually chanting "Shearer" to your face?

0:04:39 > 0:04:42- Does that happen a lot as well? - Yes, quite a few times, yeah.

0:04:42 > 0:04:44All right. You never tire of it, which is good.

0:04:44 > 0:04:48Legend. Who are you here with tonight, Alan?

0:04:48 > 0:04:50I'm here with my two daughters, Chloe and Holly.

0:04:50 > 0:04:53Chloe and Holly, ladies and gentlemen.

0:04:53 > 0:04:54APPLAUSE

0:04:54 > 0:04:56Welcome, Chloe and Holly.

0:04:56 > 0:04:57How are you? How are you both?

0:04:57 > 0:05:00- Good, thank you.- Do you feel like your father's a legend?

0:05:01 > 0:05:02LAUGHTER

0:05:02 > 0:05:04No. He is a good dad.

0:05:04 > 0:05:08Depends what mood he's in, how much sleep he's had, I guess.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11When I was younger, my granny bought me a recorder for Christmas.

0:05:11 > 0:05:14- Lovely.- You know how you love getting instruments when you're a kid?

0:05:14 > 0:05:16And we had to make the long drive home,

0:05:16 > 0:05:19so obviously, the day after Christmas, we're driving home and I'm in the back,

0:05:19 > 0:05:23blowing this recorder probably completely out of tune.

0:05:23 > 0:05:24- Very loud.- Very loud.

0:05:24 > 0:05:27- And probably out of tune. - And he's still angry about it.

0:05:27 > 0:05:30And he turned round, "Chloe, I swear on my life,

0:05:30 > 0:05:33"if you keep blowing that, I'm going to throw it out of the window."

0:05:33 > 0:05:37And being the stubborn child that I am - I don't know who I get that from -

0:05:37 > 0:05:41I obviously blew it, and I kid you not, he turned around,

0:05:41 > 0:05:43he got the recorder and he flew it out the window.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48Whoa.

0:05:48 > 0:05:50We've all been there, haven't we?

0:05:50 > 0:05:51No, we all stop at the threat.

0:05:53 > 0:05:58So, Alan, you have the keys to the city of Newcastle.

0:05:58 > 0:06:02You were such a legend in Newcastle, how often do you go there, you know,

0:06:02 > 0:06:04visit your people, your disciples?

0:06:04 > 0:06:06- I live there. - Well, that's every day.

0:06:08 > 0:06:12When I started out in comedy, my first-ever joke was about Geordies.

0:06:12 > 0:06:16- I hope it's a good one. - I don't know, shall I do it now? Shall I bring it, dust it off?

0:06:16 > 0:06:20I can't believe I'm about to do my Geordie joke to the King of Newcastle.

0:06:22 > 0:06:26A true Geordie says the letter A and the letter E in exactly the same way.

0:06:26 > 0:06:30A is "Eeer" and E is "Eeer".

0:06:30 > 0:06:33How do they live their lives? How do they pass eye tests?

0:06:33 > 0:06:36"Eeer, eeer, eeer, eeer.

0:06:36 > 0:06:40"Can I change the last one from an eeer to an eeer?"

0:06:41 > 0:06:43# Old MacDonald had a farm

0:06:43 > 0:06:45# Eeer, eeer, eeer Eeer, eeer, eeer. #

0:06:50 > 0:06:52# A E I O U

0:06:52 > 0:06:54# Eeer, eeer, eeer, eeer, eeer. #

0:06:56 > 0:06:59"I've hurt me leg, I'm off to Eeer & Eeer. All right?"

0:07:02 > 0:07:04OK, I don't think he enjoyed it.

0:07:04 > 0:07:06Let's carry on.

0:07:06 > 0:07:08OK. I can't thank you enough for being here

0:07:08 > 0:07:11and for doing this and giving us your mobile phone.

0:07:11 > 0:07:14I'm going to ask you to place your phone into the cushion here,

0:07:14 > 0:07:16and normally we have some music actually when the phone comes down,

0:07:16 > 0:07:20but I thought we would create that with the classic Shearer chant.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22All right, here we go.

0:07:22 > 0:07:24Shearer! Shearer!

0:07:24 > 0:07:32ALL: Shearer! Shearer! Shearer! Shearer! Shearer! Shearer! Shearer!

0:07:32 > 0:07:34Yay!

0:07:36 > 0:07:37Very good.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42It's got me going! It's got me going!

0:07:43 > 0:07:46Oh, you're on O2, I thought you'd be on Eeer Eeer.

0:07:50 > 0:07:52Oh, dear.

0:07:55 > 0:07:57Ladies and gentlemen, it's Alan Shearer's home screen.

0:07:57 > 0:08:00- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!

0:08:00 > 0:08:02- What's that bridge? - It's Tyne Bridge, yeah.

0:08:02 > 0:08:05Tyne Bridge. Oh. Did you put that on just for today?

0:08:05 > 0:08:07No, it's always on there.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09"I'll go for the bridge, all right?"

0:08:09 > 0:08:12Flick Golf. Is this fun? Is this what you get up to, then, Alan?

0:08:12 > 0:08:16- Just on the aeroplane when I'm bored.- What a fun guy you are!

0:08:16 > 0:08:18Oh, these are your alarms.

0:08:18 > 0:08:19Oh, they're...

0:08:19 > 0:08:20These... What?

0:08:41 > 0:08:42Alan, are you a narcoleptic?

0:08:46 > 0:08:48Do you, literally, fall asleep every five minutes?

0:08:51 > 0:08:55- I'm just busy. - Busy or incredibly tired.

0:08:56 > 0:09:00"Listen, love, I've had a bit of Flick Golf, I'm going to turn in for four minutes.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02"I'll set the alarm."

0:09:02 > 0:09:05Look at this, that's 5.34 and 5.35!

0:09:07 > 0:09:09How precise is your life?!

0:09:10 > 0:09:11So, let's see...

0:09:11 > 0:09:13Ooh, I'll have a... Do you mind?

0:09:13 > 0:09:16Before we get onto the text, I'll have a quick look at your life,

0:09:16 > 0:09:20at your photos. Oh, very cute dog.

0:09:20 > 0:09:21Aww!

0:09:21 > 0:09:23That's your dog having a big yawn.

0:09:23 > 0:09:25You're like, "Would you like me to set the alarm for you?"

0:09:28 > 0:09:30"Would you like a little nap?

0:09:30 > 0:09:34"I can offer you 1.02, 1.04, 1.06."

0:09:35 > 0:09:38- Oh, hello. Goodness.- Oh.

0:09:38 > 0:09:41Holiday shot. Maybe we'll move on to... Oh, it's got worse!

0:09:41 > 0:09:42Alan!

0:09:46 > 0:09:47What's the crack here?

0:09:50 > 0:09:54- That is...- They're two friends, Franco and Brian Trent.

0:09:54 > 0:09:55Fine buttocks.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00So, there you are, this is good holiday stuff.

0:10:00 > 0:10:05Oh, it's Sheeran! Sheeran! Sheeran! Sheeran!

0:10:05 > 0:10:08All right, there's you and Wrighty.

0:10:08 > 0:10:12This is great fun. OK. There's Wrighty on his mobility scooter.

0:10:13 > 0:10:15Ooh, here we go.

0:10:15 > 0:10:19That's you... Oh, is this you on your way to vote for Brexit?

0:10:22 > 0:10:25You like to keep your opinions close to your chest.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28"I'm just popping out to, er, vote in the referendum, love."

0:10:30 > 0:10:33Right, let's put this text in. Now, what we're going to do is put this

0:10:33 > 0:10:35text in, it's just fun, we'll see what happens at the end.

0:10:35 > 0:10:37OK, so, the text I'm going to send

0:10:37 > 0:10:40into Alan Shearer's phone is as follows -

0:10:40 > 0:10:43"I'm looking

0:10:43 > 0:10:45"for an assistant

0:10:45 > 0:10:48"and think you

0:10:48 > 0:10:51would be perfect."

0:10:51 > 0:10:53Do you currently have an assistant?

0:10:53 > 0:10:56Not an assistant, no, just a help, just a little helper.

0:10:56 > 0:10:57OK. A little...

0:10:57 > 0:10:59Are you Father Christmas?

0:11:04 > 0:11:08"I can double your current

0:11:08 > 0:11:10"salary.

0:11:15 > 0:11:16"Duties include...

0:11:20 > 0:11:22"..managing my diary...

0:11:22 > 0:11:25"ironing my...

0:11:25 > 0:11:26MICHAEL CHUCKLES

0:11:26 > 0:11:28"..Match Of The Day shirts...

0:11:31 > 0:11:32"..sports massage...

0:11:35 > 0:11:37"..on old injuries."

0:11:40 > 0:11:42We're going to go a little bit more specific with those.

0:11:42 > 0:11:46"Mainly hamstring...

0:11:48 > 0:11:50"..and groin."

0:11:56 > 0:11:58"And golf caddying.

0:11:58 > 0:12:00"Let me know...

0:12:00 > 0:12:02"ASAP."

0:12:02 > 0:12:04How would you end a text, Alan?

0:12:04 > 0:12:05Thanks, Al.

0:12:05 > 0:12:08Is that emoji, would that pop in there?

0:12:08 > 0:12:10Yeah, a little emoji with my arm in the air, yeah.

0:12:11 > 0:12:13Do you really do that? You do your celebration?

0:12:17 > 0:12:18Right. OK.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20We'll go, "Thanks, Al."

0:12:20 > 0:12:23And then we'll go with the emoji.

0:12:23 > 0:12:24That is lovely.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26OK. So let's go through this text.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28Would you mind reading it, so we've got a real flavour,

0:12:28 > 0:12:29it feels like the flavour of Shearer?

0:12:29 > 0:12:32"I'm looking for an assistant and think you would be perfect.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34"I can double your current salary.

0:12:34 > 0:12:38"Duties include managing my diary, ironing my Match Of The Day shirts,

0:12:38 > 0:12:43"sports massage on old injuries, mainly hamstring and groin,

0:12:43 > 0:12:44"and golf caddying.

0:12:44 > 0:12:48"Let me know ASAP. Thanks, Al."

0:12:48 > 0:12:50Shall we do it?

0:12:53 > 0:12:55Shall we send it, ladies and gentlemen?

0:12:55 > 0:13:00- AUDIENCE:- Yes!- Ready? All right. That has... That's gone! Delivered!

0:13:00 > 0:13:03Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. The fantastic...

0:13:03 > 0:13:04What a wonderful sport he is!

0:13:04 > 0:13:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:13:06 > 0:13:08Thank you, Alan. All right.

0:13:08 > 0:13:12Ladies and gentlemen, what a treat we have for you now.

0:13:12 > 0:13:15Please welcome one of the country's finest singing talents and a true

0:13:15 > 0:13:18pop superstar. It's Jessie J.

0:13:18 > 0:13:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:13:29 > 0:13:32# Stop playing with your body, lady

0:13:32 > 0:13:35# Stop feeling like you're not enough

0:13:35 > 0:13:37# Stop feeding into the haters

0:13:37 > 0:13:39# Stop and give yourself some love

0:13:39 > 0:13:40# Whoa-oh-oh

0:13:40 > 0:13:43# Stop staring at the mirror getting faded

0:13:43 > 0:13:45# Saying you won't fall in love

0:13:45 > 0:13:48# Stop trusting all these fake idiots

0:13:48 > 0:13:49# Trust me they don't give a ...

0:13:49 > 0:13:51# Whoa-oh-oh

0:13:51 > 0:13:53# I'm tired of seeing it

0:13:53 > 0:13:56# I'm tired of feeling this

0:13:56 > 0:14:00# The world says beauty is changing It's fake expectation

0:14:00 > 0:14:02# And the riff

0:14:02 > 0:14:05# Let's get naked

0:14:05 > 0:14:07# Start meditating

0:14:07 > 0:14:13# Feel elevated and say I love my body

0:14:13 > 0:14:15# I love my skin

0:14:15 > 0:14:18# I am a goddess

0:14:18 > 0:14:20# I am a queen

0:14:21 > 0:14:23# I love my body

0:14:23 > 0:14:26# I love my skin

0:14:26 > 0:14:29# I am a goddess

0:14:29 > 0:14:31# I am a queen

0:14:33 > 0:14:36# Stop chasing all the hype My girl

0:14:36 > 0:14:39# Stop trying to change who you are

0:14:39 > 0:14:42# Stop cutting yourself up on the outside

0:14:42 > 0:14:43# When inside is left with scars

0:14:43 > 0:14:46# That can't be healed with something materialistic

0:14:46 > 0:14:48# Can't be healed by a man who stays distant

0:14:48 > 0:14:50# It's deeper

0:14:50 > 0:14:52# Save yourself before you betray yourself

0:14:52 > 0:14:55# Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ay!

0:14:55 > 0:14:58# I'm tired of seeing it So tired

0:14:58 > 0:15:00# I'm tired of feeling this Yeah

0:15:00 > 0:15:03# The world says beauty is changing

0:15:03 > 0:15:05# It's fake expectation And the riff

0:15:05 > 0:15:09# Let's get naked

0:15:09 > 0:15:11# Start meditating

0:15:11 > 0:15:17# Feel elevated and say I love my body

0:15:17 > 0:15:19# I love my skin

0:15:19 > 0:15:22# I am a goddess

0:15:22 > 0:15:25# I am a queen

0:15:25 > 0:15:27# I love my body

0:15:27 > 0:15:30# I love my skin

0:15:30 > 0:15:32# I am a goddess

0:15:32 > 0:15:35# I am a queen

0:15:35 > 0:15:38# I love my body

0:15:38 > 0:15:41# I love my skin

0:15:41 > 0:15:44# I am a goddess

0:15:44 > 0:15:46# I am a queen

0:15:46 > 0:15:49# I love my body

0:15:49 > 0:15:51# I love my skin

0:15:51 > 0:15:54# I am a goddess

0:15:54 > 0:15:58# I am a queen

0:15:58 > 0:16:02# I love my body I love my skin

0:16:02 > 0:16:07# I am a goddess I am a queen

0:16:07 > 0:16:13# I love my body I love my skin

0:16:13 > 0:16:17# I am a goddess, I am a queen... #

0:16:17 > 0:16:19Sing it, come on.

0:16:19 > 0:16:23- # I love my... AUDIENCE:- ..body - I love my... AUDIENCE:- ..skin

0:16:23 > 0:16:26- # I am a... AUDIENCE:- ..goddess

0:16:26 > 0:16:29# I am a queen, hey! #

0:16:30 > 0:16:32Thank you.

0:16:32 > 0:16:34Whoa!

0:16:34 > 0:16:36Jessie J, ladies and gentlemen.

0:16:36 > 0:16:40Amazing! Look at the love, feel the love for Jessie J!

0:16:40 > 0:16:42- Jessie, that was amazing. - That was fun.

0:16:42 > 0:16:44- We love that song. - Thanks for having me.

0:16:44 > 0:16:48- Ain't they amazing? They love you. - This is so beautiful, yeah.

0:16:48 > 0:16:51- They love you.- # I love my body I love my skin... #

0:16:51 > 0:16:52- Sing.- I've got a version of that.

0:16:52 > 0:16:56After extreme Photoshopping, # I love my body... #

0:16:58 > 0:17:00No. I've got to love my body.

0:17:00 > 0:17:02- You have to love your body and love your skin.- Really?

0:17:02 > 0:17:04You have a goddess, you are a king. Yeah, right?

0:17:04 > 0:17:08Ladies and gentlemen, we must all love our bodies and our skin

0:17:08 > 0:17:11but we absolutely, for sure, love the fantastic Jessie J.

0:17:11 > 0:17:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE What about that?

0:17:12 > 0:17:14Thank you so, so much. Amazing.

0:17:16 > 0:17:18So brilliant! What a voice!

0:17:20 > 0:17:23Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to find out

0:17:23 > 0:17:27who is going to be tonight's Unexpected Star of the show.

0:17:27 > 0:17:31CHEERING

0:17:32 > 0:17:37So, here is tonight's Unexpected Star.

0:17:37 > 0:17:38There she is.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40It's Sanjna.

0:17:41 > 0:17:46She is 17-year-old A-level student from Harrow.

0:17:46 > 0:17:51She is currently training for her black belt in taekwondo!

0:17:51 > 0:17:53There she is. AUDIENCE OOHS AND APPLAUSE

0:17:53 > 0:17:55She means business.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57Sanjna is coming to our secret location

0:17:57 > 0:18:02which is adjacent to the theatre and she thinks she's coming here

0:18:02 > 0:18:06to help teach a beginners class in taekwondo.

0:18:06 > 0:18:09Let me show you the room as it was earlier today,

0:18:09 > 0:18:11and, tonight, this is what it looks like.

0:18:11 > 0:18:15It is the MMBS - see what we've done there? Yeah?

0:18:15 > 0:18:17It stands for Michael McIntyre's Big Show

0:18:17 > 0:18:21for those of you who are less clued up.

0:18:21 > 0:18:26So, Sanjna thinks she's coming there to help her taekwondo master Aryan

0:18:26 > 0:18:29teach a class. Aryan is, of course, in on the whole thing.

0:18:29 > 0:18:32Nothing, in fact, is real.

0:18:32 > 0:18:37The real reason Sanjna is here is because her passion is singing,

0:18:37 > 0:18:40and tonight we're going to find out how she reacts

0:18:40 > 0:18:43to what will be the biggest night of her life.

0:18:43 > 0:18:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:18:49 > 0:18:53So, let's go live now to that room

0:18:53 > 0:18:57and hope that Sanjna is already in it,

0:18:57 > 0:18:59and yes, she is.

0:18:59 > 0:19:03So, that is Sanjna there, she's taking a glass of water.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05They're all having a break.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07SHE CHUCKLES

0:19:07 > 0:19:09INDISTINCT CONVERSATION

0:19:09 > 0:19:12That is happening right at this moment.

0:19:12 > 0:19:16Sanjna has been nominated by her mum Chhaya and her dad Pravin

0:19:16 > 0:19:18and they are here in the audience tonight.

0:19:18 > 0:19:20We're going to have a little chat with them

0:19:20 > 0:19:22and find out all about her.

0:19:23 > 0:19:25Where's Chhaya? Chhaya!

0:19:25 > 0:19:27Mwah! Mwah!

0:19:27 > 0:19:31Hi, Chhaya. And Pravin! Pravin, hi.

0:19:31 > 0:19:33It's Chhaya and Pravin, ladies and gentlemen.

0:19:33 > 0:19:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Mum and Dad.

0:19:35 > 0:19:36Yes.

0:19:38 > 0:19:40So, tell us about Sanjna?

0:19:40 > 0:19:43Sanjna has a passion for singing,

0:19:43 > 0:19:45a very confident person.

0:19:45 > 0:19:47- How do you think she'll handle tonight?- I don't know.

0:19:47 > 0:19:50I thought she was very confident! What happened to her confidence?

0:19:50 > 0:19:53I know she's confident, but I don't want to be in her shoes tonight.

0:19:53 > 0:19:55No. Don't worry, you're not going to be in her shoes.

0:19:55 > 0:19:58- No, thank God.- And you nominated her for this.- I did nominate her, yes.

0:19:58 > 0:20:01- Having seen the show. - I had seen your show.

0:20:01 > 0:20:04We were absolutely intrigued with the show we saw.

0:20:04 > 0:20:06That's my best ever review, thank you.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08LAUGHTER

0:20:08 > 0:20:10Absolutely intriguing.

0:20:11 > 0:20:15One day, I hope the show can be described as funny.

0:20:15 > 0:20:18For now, we'll accept "intriguing".

0:20:18 > 0:20:19LAUGHTER

0:20:19 > 0:20:21- So, let's say hi to Dad. Hi, Dad.- Hi.- So, um...

0:20:21 > 0:20:24"What about me?" says... Who's this young man?

0:20:24 > 0:20:28Hello, what about you? Who are you in relation to Sanjna?

0:20:28 > 0:20:30- Her brother.- Yeah.

0:20:30 > 0:20:33- Do you get on well with Sanj? - Kind of.- OK.

0:20:33 > 0:20:36LAUGHTER

0:20:36 > 0:20:37And what do you think of her singing?

0:20:37 > 0:20:40Good, she could have a good music career, yeah.

0:20:40 > 0:20:43- You think she can have a good...? Are you Simon Cowell?- No!

0:20:43 > 0:20:45He's a young Simon Cowell.

0:20:45 > 0:20:48Fantastic. Well, thanks for coming, my friend.

0:20:48 > 0:20:51And Dad, how do you think Sanj is going to cope with tonight?

0:20:51 > 0:20:53- I think she's going to be fine. - Sorry!

0:20:53 > 0:20:55LAUGHTER

0:20:55 > 0:20:57Taken the mic. He's taken it.

0:20:57 > 0:21:00He's taken it away. He's obviously rehearsed something.

0:21:00 > 0:21:02Go on.

0:21:02 > 0:21:03The show's ours!

0:21:05 > 0:21:07# This is your moment! #

0:21:07 > 0:21:09LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:21:09 > 0:21:12All right, brother.

0:21:12 > 0:21:13OK...

0:21:13 > 0:21:15You should say something.

0:21:15 > 0:21:18How do you think Sanjna will...? Don't take the mic!

0:21:18 > 0:21:21LAUGHTER

0:21:21 > 0:21:23How's Sanjna going to react?

0:21:23 > 0:21:25I think she's good, she's a confident girl,

0:21:25 > 0:21:27so I think she shouldn't be shocked.

0:21:27 > 0:21:29Yeah. She's going to be shocked?

0:21:29 > 0:21:31- No.- Not shocked.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33She's going to take it completely in her stride?

0:21:33 > 0:21:36She's going to walk out the thing and go, "Mum, Dad, you all right?"

0:21:36 > 0:21:38LAUGHTER

0:21:40 > 0:21:43How many people have come here to support Sanjna tonight?

0:21:43 > 0:21:47LOUD CHEERING

0:21:47 > 0:21:48Wow, they're all up!

0:21:48 > 0:21:50CHEERING

0:21:50 > 0:21:53There are people who aren't even here with Sanjna

0:21:53 > 0:21:56standing at this point. OK. Well, we're very, very excited.

0:21:56 > 0:21:57Thank you all for coming.

0:21:57 > 0:22:01What a great, great party of people! Let's carry on. Whoohoo!

0:22:01 > 0:22:03APPLAUSE

0:22:04 > 0:22:06All right.

0:22:06 > 0:22:09I think it's time to have a little bit of fun.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13So, we can hear them now.

0:22:13 > 0:22:14One, two! Huh!

0:22:14 > 0:22:17Oh, goodness. Someone's just vomited.

0:22:20 > 0:22:25So, I can communicate with a couple of people, that's Seamus there.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27Seamus, if you can hear me,

0:22:27 > 0:22:30catch yourself in the mirror and pull out a nose hair.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43Gilly -

0:22:43 > 0:22:44that's Gilly on the right -

0:22:44 > 0:22:47if you can hear me, say, "Hiyah!" and do a big kick.

0:22:47 > 0:22:49Hiyah!

0:22:53 > 0:22:56- Taekwondo. - ALL:- Taekwondo!

0:22:56 > 0:22:58Gilly, if you can put your hand up

0:22:58 > 0:23:00and say, "Can I ask a question, please?"

0:23:00 > 0:23:02Can I ask a question, please?

0:23:02 > 0:23:03Yeah, sure.

0:23:03 > 0:23:05"When do we learn the death choke?"

0:23:05 > 0:23:08When do we learn the death choke?

0:23:08 > 0:23:11We haven't got... There's nothing like that.

0:23:11 > 0:23:13We don't call it "death choke".

0:23:13 > 0:23:16Gilly, say, "I like to work with nunchuks."

0:23:16 > 0:23:19Well, I'd like to work with some nunchuks.

0:23:25 > 0:23:28Gilly, just say, "Can I tell you all why I'm here?"

0:23:28 > 0:23:32Look, sorry, can I tell you all why I'm here?

0:23:32 > 0:23:36"My neighbour Eileen's been giving my husband Norman the eye."

0:23:36 > 0:23:41My neighbour Eileen's been giving my husband Norman the eye.

0:23:41 > 0:23:43"Although it's hard to tell as one of them is glass."

0:23:43 > 0:23:46Although it's hard to tell cos one of them's glass.

0:23:48 > 0:23:50"She needs a good kicking."

0:23:50 > 0:23:53Yeah, well she needs a good kicking, love.

0:23:55 > 0:23:58You could have brought her here!

0:23:58 > 0:24:02Gilly, say, "Eileen's got a false hip on the right."

0:24:02 > 0:24:05Eileen's got a false hip on the right.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07"So I need to kick her on the left."

0:24:07 > 0:24:09So I need to kick her on the left.

0:24:17 > 0:24:19Seamus, can you say, "Can we get on with the class, please?"

0:24:19 > 0:24:21Can we get on with the class, please?

0:24:21 > 0:24:22"You shut up or I'll soon have you."

0:24:22 > 0:24:24Oh, shut up, or I'll soon have you!

0:24:30 > 0:24:32OK, Gilly, just get back to normal now.

0:24:32 > 0:24:33Come on.

0:24:33 > 0:24:35I think we pushed that as far as we could.

0:24:37 > 0:24:40Let me tell you briefly what's going to happen.

0:24:40 > 0:24:44She's going to be brought up to meet the Grand Master.

0:24:44 > 0:24:48The Grand Master will be played by me.

0:24:48 > 0:24:52So, I will wait for her in my studio and as soon as she comes in,

0:24:52 > 0:24:55I'm going to go, "Hiyah!" and then kick the walls down

0:24:55 > 0:24:57and then they're going to fall down.

0:24:57 > 0:24:59And then you're going to go nuts.

0:24:59 > 0:25:01That's the plan, let's hope it works.

0:25:01 > 0:25:03All right, good luck to all of you.

0:25:04 > 0:25:07And then, of course, she'll be singing us out

0:25:07 > 0:25:11which her family are so confident, I can't wait to hear that.

0:25:11 > 0:25:15OK. I think we're almost ready to bring her up.

0:25:15 > 0:25:19But how, you might ask, are we going to get Sanjna to come up

0:25:19 > 0:25:21to meet the Grand Master.

0:25:21 > 0:25:24Well, for that, I'm going to need a little bit of help.

0:25:24 > 0:25:28It's the Taekwondo Heavyweight World Champion,

0:25:28 > 0:25:30Britain's own Bianca Walkden.

0:25:30 > 0:25:32Bianca, there she is.

0:25:32 > 0:25:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:25:33 > 0:25:34- Hi.- Hello!

0:25:37 > 0:25:38OK, Bianca.

0:25:38 > 0:25:42- Yes.- Huge congratulations for winning two World Championships.

0:25:42 > 0:25:44CHEERING

0:25:44 > 0:25:46OK. Your first line is going to be,

0:25:46 > 0:25:50"Welcome to my dojang that I own with the Grand Master."

0:25:50 > 0:25:52- OK. OK.- Good luck.

0:25:52 > 0:25:54- OK.- Thank you, Bianca.- OK.

0:25:54 > 0:25:57So, if you was coming at me,

0:25:57 > 0:26:00and you've got me arms, how would I...?

0:26:00 > 0:26:01- Hello.- Hi.

0:26:01 > 0:26:04Welcome to my dojang.

0:26:04 > 0:26:07Hi, Hi. Hello, how are you, OK?

0:26:07 > 0:26:11- Say, "Do you recognise me?" - Do you recognise me?

0:26:11 > 0:26:14Then say, "Ask me how many gold medals I've won."

0:26:14 > 0:26:16Ask me how many gold medals I've got.

0:26:17 > 0:26:20- Three?- I wish I had three, but I've got two.

0:26:20 > 0:26:21Boom!

0:26:21 > 0:26:24LAUGHTER

0:26:24 > 0:26:25Thank you, thank you.

0:26:25 > 0:26:29Right, now say, "Can I just sit in and watch for a bit?"

0:26:29 > 0:26:33Can I just sit down and watch from a bit? Is it OK? Just sit here.

0:26:33 > 0:26:35And going round and the camera should pick me up

0:26:35 > 0:26:36and you'll see me in there.

0:26:36 > 0:26:40And really, really, I have to ask you, when this all is happening,

0:26:40 > 0:26:43just be super quiet until the wall falls down.

0:26:43 > 0:26:45OK. You all up for that? Everybody in on this?

0:26:45 > 0:26:48Let's do this. Right, I'm heading out.

0:26:55 > 0:26:57Hello, everybody.

0:26:58 > 0:27:02OK. So, I am in my room,

0:27:02 > 0:27:05I've got to get dressed, I've got to get dressed, hold on.

0:27:05 > 0:27:07I've got to Grand Master up.

0:27:09 > 0:27:11MUFFLED: They've decked... Ohh!

0:27:11 > 0:27:15They've decked the place out with some things

0:27:15 > 0:27:16just to make it authentic...

0:27:20 > 0:27:22That's me after Christmas.

0:27:22 > 0:27:26LAUGHTER

0:27:26 > 0:27:29Oh, where's my black belt?

0:27:29 > 0:27:30Where is it?

0:27:31 > 0:27:33Oh, yes! There it is.

0:27:36 > 0:27:39Right, black belt, all right, OK.

0:27:45 > 0:27:47Aah.

0:27:52 > 0:27:54Waaah!

0:27:55 > 0:27:57Hi....

0:27:58 > 0:28:01All right, I'm feeling I'm in it, I'm in it.

0:28:01 > 0:28:03I'm going to phone Bianca

0:28:03 > 0:28:06and ask her to come up to meet the Grand Master

0:28:06 > 0:28:08and then this is all going to happen

0:28:08 > 0:28:11and then this is going to fall down and we're going to see all of you.

0:28:11 > 0:28:12OK.

0:28:12 > 0:28:16Let's see, here we go. I'm ringing her now.

0:28:18 > 0:28:21RINGTONE PLAYS: Gold by Spandau Ballet

0:28:26 > 0:28:28Sorry, hang on, I really need to take this.

0:28:28 > 0:28:31It's the Grand Master. Hello?

0:28:31 > 0:28:34Bianca, Bianca, this is the Grand Master.

0:28:34 > 0:28:37Please send up Sanjna to meet me. Thank you.

0:28:37 > 0:28:40Oh, OK. Of course, Grand Master, I'll be there soon.

0:28:40 > 0:28:42OK, bye. Bye-bye.

0:28:44 > 0:28:47The Grand Master wants to come and see you, you two.

0:28:47 > 0:28:49Do you want to come with me now?

0:28:49 > 0:28:50Is that OK?

0:28:50 > 0:28:53Just come this way, dead quick.

0:28:55 > 0:28:58Be careful of your leg, yeah.

0:28:58 > 0:29:00Thank you.

0:29:02 > 0:29:05So, cos like, we co-own it with the Grand Master, so...

0:29:05 > 0:29:08INDISTINCT

0:29:11 > 0:29:14If it wasn't, if he wasn't there, I wouldn't be...

0:29:14 > 0:29:16Like, he's my Grand Master.

0:29:16 > 0:29:20He's quality. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be where I am today.

0:29:20 > 0:29:23I'll let you in one at a time.

0:29:23 > 0:29:25When you go in, just put your shoes to the side

0:29:25 > 0:29:29and just stand there and say, "Hi." Yeah, OK. Just go in.

0:29:35 > 0:29:37Hiya.

0:29:39 > 0:29:42Hiya!

0:29:44 > 0:29:48Hiya!

0:29:48 > 0:29:52LOUD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:29:56 > 0:30:00SHE YELLS

0:30:05 > 0:30:09- Oh, my...- Sanjna, it's going to be on TV.

0:30:09 > 0:30:11It's going to be on TV.

0:30:13 > 0:30:15Ladies and gentlemen,

0:30:15 > 0:30:19it's our Unexpected Star of tonight's show, Sanjna!

0:30:19 > 0:30:23- It's OK.- I was watching you the other day, I was watching you!

0:30:23 > 0:30:30Well, Sanjna, we have been watching you all night, next door.

0:30:30 > 0:30:33Look over there, it's only your mum and dad

0:30:33 > 0:30:35and all your friends and family!

0:30:35 > 0:30:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:30:41 > 0:30:44Sanj, what a millennial you are

0:30:44 > 0:30:46that as soon as you came out,

0:30:46 > 0:30:50you started making your own TV show on your phone.

0:30:50 > 0:30:53I was so confused. I was like, I thought you were like legit, like.

0:30:53 > 0:30:56- I didn't know what to say.- Yes, you thought I was the Grand Master.

0:30:56 > 0:30:59- Oh, my gosh. - Come and join me on stage.

0:30:59 > 0:31:02What about that? Sanj, wasn't she amazing? Sanjna!

0:31:02 > 0:31:04CHEERING

0:31:04 > 0:31:07- Come on. Come over here, let's have a chat.- That's so bad.

0:31:12 > 0:31:18So, Sanjna, everything that's been going on next door...

0:31:18 > 0:31:20I haven't got my glasses on!

0:31:20 > 0:31:24Well, even without your glasses, let me explain what's in front of you.

0:31:24 > 0:31:28There is 2,500 blurry people.

0:31:28 > 0:31:29Oh, that's Santosh.

0:31:29 > 0:31:32Yes, we've recognised Santosh.

0:31:32 > 0:31:34- And Auntie.- Yes, Auntie's here.

0:31:34 > 0:31:36SHE YELLS

0:31:36 > 0:31:39Yeah, come on, let's go closer.

0:31:39 > 0:31:40We can get a closer look.

0:31:40 > 0:31:42You see them now?

0:31:42 > 0:31:44ALL SCREAM

0:31:46 > 0:31:48Everybody's here, there's your brother,

0:31:48 > 0:31:50and they're all going to support you tonight, Sanjna.

0:31:50 > 0:31:52Do you remember these guys?

0:31:52 > 0:31:55- There they are. - Oh, my God, this happens!

0:31:55 > 0:31:58Yeah, this does happen.

0:31:58 > 0:32:01Sanj, apart from taekwondo, what do you enjoy doing?

0:32:01 > 0:32:04- Er, singing.- Ah...

0:32:04 > 0:32:07Well, what we're going to ask you tonight

0:32:07 > 0:32:11is if you will be something called our Unexpected Star of the show,

0:32:11 > 0:32:14and you're going to sing us out for these people

0:32:14 > 0:32:17and for the millions watching at home.

0:32:17 > 0:32:19But, of course, you have to agree, Sanjna.

0:32:19 > 0:32:24- Yes, of course.- Will you do it? Sanjna's up for it, well done.

0:32:24 > 0:32:26CHEERING

0:32:26 > 0:32:28Ladies and gentlemen,

0:32:28 > 0:32:32it's our Unexpected Star of tonight's show, Sanjna!

0:32:34 > 0:32:36Off you go that way.

0:32:36 > 0:32:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:32:47 > 0:32:52OK, now, ladies and gentlemen, it is time to play the Midnight Gameshow.

0:32:58 > 0:33:01This is no ordinary game show, ladies and gentlemen.

0:33:01 > 0:33:04The contestants in Midnight Gameshow had no idea

0:33:04 > 0:33:07that they would be indeed taking part.

0:33:07 > 0:33:10They went to sleep safe and sound, tucked up in their beds,

0:33:10 > 0:33:13only to be woken up in the dead of night

0:33:13 > 0:33:15by me and the camera crew,

0:33:15 > 0:33:17to answer a series of questions

0:33:17 > 0:33:21while semi-conscious in the Midnight Gameshow.

0:33:21 > 0:33:25Yes, this is the only game show

0:33:25 > 0:33:27where if you snooze...

0:33:27 > 0:33:28- ALL:- You lose!

0:33:28 > 0:33:31Tonight's contestant is Lee.

0:33:31 > 0:33:35He is a 30-year-old plasterer from Essex

0:33:35 > 0:33:38and he was set up by his wife Taylor.

0:33:38 > 0:33:40Lee and Taylor are here in the audience tonight

0:33:40 > 0:33:43and we're going to go and have a chat with them.

0:33:43 > 0:33:45Where are you Lee? There they are.

0:33:45 > 0:33:48Ladies and gentlemen, it's Lee and Taylor.

0:33:48 > 0:33:49Come on, Lee.

0:33:50 > 0:33:52Oh, Lee.

0:33:53 > 0:33:54Darling, how are you?

0:33:54 > 0:33:56- I'm good.- And, of course, Taylor, you're pregnant!

0:33:56 > 0:33:59Round of applause, congratulations.

0:34:00 > 0:34:04So, you set him up. Why would you do such a thing to him?

0:34:04 > 0:34:08Well, he likes to think of himself as a comedian.

0:34:08 > 0:34:12- Right. Likewise.- So, I thought, who better to prank you...

0:34:12 > 0:34:15than his like biggest, you know, comedian ever.

0:34:15 > 0:34:17He loves you.

0:34:17 > 0:34:20Lee, when I met you in the middle of the night,

0:34:20 > 0:34:24which is at three o'clock in the morning, I didn't get a sense

0:34:24 > 0:34:28that you knew who I or anybody else in the world was.

0:34:28 > 0:34:30So, what do you remember

0:34:30 > 0:34:34the night you went to sleep, then, just a regular evening?

0:34:34 > 0:34:35Well, yeah.

0:34:35 > 0:34:37The room was clean, which...

0:34:37 > 0:34:38Oh, bit rude!

0:34:41 > 0:34:44- ..hasn't been cleaned for a while. - I know!

0:34:44 > 0:34:47- So you tidied up a bit. - I just didn't think nothing of it.

0:34:47 > 0:34:49And went to sleep, and there you was.

0:34:49 > 0:34:50LAUGHTER

0:34:50 > 0:34:53So, there's a couple of things we need to talk about

0:34:53 > 0:34:56before we watch it. Firstly, you are a football fan.

0:34:56 > 0:34:59You do support the Spurs, Tottenham Hotspur.

0:34:59 > 0:35:01CHEERING

0:35:01 > 0:35:04All right, all right, all right!

0:35:04 > 0:35:06You've even got a tattoo of the cockerel.

0:35:06 > 0:35:07So, a big fan of Spurs.

0:35:07 > 0:35:11Another thing we need to talk about

0:35:11 > 0:35:14is your very neat hair currently.

0:35:16 > 0:35:19It's not like that in the middle of the night, is it?

0:35:19 > 0:35:21No.

0:35:21 > 0:35:24And the last thing I need to get out of the way is, I think,

0:35:24 > 0:35:27the problem here is that you had just woken up

0:35:27 > 0:35:30before we got into the room.

0:35:30 > 0:35:34And this led to, without a shadow of a doubt,

0:35:34 > 0:35:36the most extreme reaction...

0:35:37 > 0:35:39..we've ever had.

0:35:39 > 0:35:44Ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy Lee's Midnight Gameshow.

0:35:44 > 0:35:47CHEERING

0:35:48 > 0:35:51OWL HOOTS

0:35:56 > 0:35:57Here we go again.

0:36:13 > 0:36:15FLOORBOARD CREAKS

0:36:38 > 0:36:39Ughhh!

0:36:41 > 0:36:42Lee!

0:36:44 > 0:36:51Welcome to the Midnight Gameshow!

0:36:51 > 0:36:54Lee's on the floor. Lee, welcome!

0:36:54 > 0:36:57How are you? Good to see you.

0:36:58 > 0:37:01Pretty extreme reaction.

0:37:01 > 0:37:03- Are you all right, are you all right?- Yeah.

0:37:03 > 0:37:06Are you OK? How are you? How are you?

0:37:06 > 0:37:08This is the Midnight Gameshow.

0:37:08 > 0:37:09Lovely to meet you, my friend.

0:37:09 > 0:37:12Let's get comfortable, there are prizes to be won.

0:37:12 > 0:37:15Come on. Goodness me, goodness me.

0:37:15 > 0:37:18Just relax. We're going to ask...

0:37:18 > 0:37:20Lie down...

0:37:20 > 0:37:21Lee, we're going to crack on

0:37:21 > 0:37:23because the bedside clock is ticking.

0:37:23 > 0:37:27I'm going to ask you to name three breeds of dog, Lee.

0:37:27 > 0:37:29Alsatian.

0:37:29 > 0:37:31- CHIME That's correct.- Golden retriever.

0:37:31 > 0:37:34- CHIME You're absolutely fine.- Pit bull.

0:37:34 > 0:37:36CHIME Amazing. You don't have one!

0:37:36 > 0:37:39Maybe you need to get one so this doesn't happen again!

0:37:41 > 0:37:44OK. What word are these cheerleaders spelling?

0:37:44 > 0:37:46THEY CHEER

0:37:49 > 0:37:53# Y-A-W-N, say YAWN! #

0:37:53 > 0:37:56ALL CHEER

0:37:57 > 0:37:59OK, what's that word?

0:38:03 > 0:38:05- What?- Y-A-W-N.

0:38:05 > 0:38:07Yawn!

0:38:07 > 0:38:09CHIME Yawn, congratulations.

0:38:09 > 0:38:11ALL CHEER Thanks, girls, thank you!

0:38:11 > 0:38:12Thank you, thank you.

0:38:12 > 0:38:15Who, Lee, is this?

0:38:17 > 0:38:20Hello, Ossie! How are you?

0:38:20 > 0:38:22Sorry, I'm going to need his full name.

0:38:22 > 0:38:24Ossie Ardiles.

0:38:24 > 0:38:25CHIME That's the correct answer.

0:38:25 > 0:38:27Jolly good.

0:38:27 > 0:38:29OK. Could you please now chant

0:38:29 > 0:38:32any well-known Spurs song?

0:38:34 > 0:38:38# Glory, glory, Tottenham Hotspurs!

0:38:38 > 0:38:41# Glory, glory, Tottenham Hotspurs!

0:38:41 > 0:38:44# Glory, glory, Tottenham Hotspurs!

0:38:44 > 0:38:46# And the Spurs go marching in! #

0:38:46 > 0:38:48CHIME Yes!

0:38:48 > 0:38:50That's another point, congratulations!

0:38:50 > 0:38:54Very good. Thank you very much, Ossie Ardiles! Legend!

0:38:54 > 0:38:58Right, now, I'm going to ask you, Lee,

0:38:58 > 0:39:03to complete the lyric at the end of this song.

0:39:03 > 0:39:07# What have you done today to make me feel...? #

0:39:07 > 0:39:08So good?

0:39:08 > 0:39:10BUZZER "So good"?

0:39:10 > 0:39:12LAUGHTER

0:39:12 > 0:39:15- So good!- Bad.

0:39:18 > 0:39:20It's a new version.

0:39:20 > 0:39:24# What have you done to me to make you feel...so good? #

0:39:24 > 0:39:27Complete this lyric.

0:39:27 > 0:39:29# Search for the hero... #

0:39:29 > 0:39:30Inside yourself.

0:39:30 > 0:39:33CHIME Yay. Much better. Much better.

0:39:33 > 0:39:35Much better. And we have one more.

0:39:35 > 0:39:39# Moving on up you're moving on out

0:39:39 > 0:39:42# Time to break free nothing can... #

0:39:42 > 0:39:44Stop me.

0:39:44 > 0:39:46CHIME Yay. Very, very good.

0:39:46 > 0:39:49Stop the bedside clock! And goodnight!

0:39:49 > 0:39:51APPLAUSE

0:40:02 > 0:40:04- I know.- Oh, good.

0:40:04 > 0:40:07LAUGHTER

0:40:27 > 0:40:29Well done. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:40:29 > 0:40:32Well done. That was really, really good.

0:40:32 > 0:40:33Can we watch that again?

0:40:33 > 0:40:37Let's have a look at you deal with somebody breaking in in the night?

0:40:37 > 0:40:39Ugh!

0:40:39 > 0:40:41LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:40:41 > 0:40:43Lee!

0:40:47 > 0:40:49Oh, brilliant.

0:40:51 > 0:40:54You took it in your stride a bit with Ossie?

0:40:54 > 0:40:56- Yeah.- Had you met him before?

0:40:56 > 0:40:59- No, no.- This is a Spurs legend, he's won the World Cup!- Yeah, yeah.

0:40:59 > 0:41:02He just walked he and you were like old mates, really. "Hello, Ossie."

0:41:02 > 0:41:06Like he normally brings you your cocoa in the middle of the night!

0:41:06 > 0:41:08"It's time you to wake up, Mr Lee.

0:41:09 > 0:41:11"Work is coming, I've drawn you a bath. OK?"

0:41:14 > 0:41:16Brilliant. Well, listen, Taylor, thank you so, so much

0:41:16 > 0:41:19- for setting him up.- Thank you. - You've been a brilliant sport.

0:41:19 > 0:41:21For taking part, you have qualified

0:41:21 > 0:41:24for our iconic silver Do Not Disturb sign

0:41:24 > 0:41:27which means this will never happen to you again.

0:41:27 > 0:41:30So, you can have that. We've also got you a couple of presents here.

0:41:30 > 0:41:32I have you a set of hairbrushes...

0:41:34 > 0:41:36..for before you go to sleep, there you go.

0:41:36 > 0:41:39And, of course, I've also got this signed...

0:41:39 > 0:41:42This is from Ossie Ardiles, one of your heroes.

0:41:42 > 0:41:46This is for you, and it says, "Sweet dreams, Ossie Ardiles."

0:41:46 > 0:41:50- That's for you to remember the night. Thank you so much.- Thank you.

0:41:50 > 0:41:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Ladies and gentlemen...

0:41:53 > 0:41:55It's Lee and his wife Taylor!

0:41:55 > 0:41:56CHEERING

0:41:58 > 0:42:00Ah, brilliant.

0:42:00 > 0:42:02# Y-A-W-N, say Y-A-W-N! #

0:42:02 > 0:42:05"Sorry, don't know."

0:42:05 > 0:42:07LAUGHTER

0:42:07 > 0:42:09Now, ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure

0:42:09 > 0:42:12to welcome one of the most successful British bands

0:42:12 > 0:42:15of all time here tonight, and Welsh rock royalty,

0:42:15 > 0:42:16it's the Stereophonics!

0:42:16 > 0:42:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:42:35 > 0:42:37# Wolves in the woods

0:42:37 > 0:42:40# Don't play by the rules

0:42:40 > 0:42:42# From mouth to ear

0:42:42 > 0:42:45# Anything's possible

0:42:46 > 0:42:48# Set the needle down

0:42:48 > 0:42:51# Take it back to the start

0:42:51 > 0:42:54# When do we lose

0:42:54 > 0:42:57# Just how free we are?

0:42:57 > 0:43:00# Help yourself to what you want

0:43:00 > 0:43:03# Get caught by the wind

0:43:03 > 0:43:05# Believing you can fly

0:43:05 > 0:43:08# Celebrate everything

0:43:08 > 0:43:11# Sunbathing on the roof

0:43:11 > 0:43:13# Watching aeroplanes

0:43:13 > 0:43:16# Believing you can live

0:43:16 > 0:43:19# Yeah, forever and a day

0:43:19 > 0:43:22# Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa

0:43:22 > 0:43:25# Whoa, oh, oh

0:43:25 > 0:43:30# Whoa, oh-oh, oh, whoa

0:43:30 > 0:43:36# Every chain got a broken link

0:43:36 > 0:43:41# Jump off the boat you can swim or sink

0:43:41 > 0:43:46# The swallows dive through the summer nights

0:43:46 > 0:43:52# Something beautiful money just don't buy

0:43:52 > 0:43:55# Help yourself to what you want

0:43:55 > 0:43:57# Get caught by the wind

0:43:57 > 0:44:00# Believing you can fly

0:44:00 > 0:44:03# Celebrate everything

0:44:03 > 0:44:07# Sunbathing on the roof

0:44:07 > 0:44:08# Watching aeroplanes

0:44:08 > 0:44:11# Believing you can live

0:44:11 > 0:44:14# Yeah, forever and a day

0:44:14 > 0:44:17# Don't say it's over

0:44:17 > 0:44:20# It's never over

0:44:20 > 0:44:22# There's always time to change

0:44:22 > 0:44:25# And start again today

0:44:25 > 0:44:27# Right now

0:44:28 > 0:44:30# Wolves in the woods

0:44:30 > 0:44:34# Don't play by the rules

0:44:34 > 0:44:36# From mouth to ear

0:44:36 > 0:44:39# Anything's possible

0:44:39 > 0:44:41# Help yourself to what you want

0:44:41 > 0:44:45# Get caught by the wind

0:44:45 > 0:44:47# Believing you can fly

0:44:47 > 0:44:50# Celebrate everything

0:44:50 > 0:44:53# Sunbathing on the roof

0:44:53 > 0:44:56# Watching aeroplanes

0:44:56 > 0:44:58# Believing you can live

0:44:58 > 0:45:01# Yeah, forever and a day

0:45:01 > 0:45:04- # Oh, yeah - Whoa, whoa

0:45:04 > 0:45:07- # Oh, yeah - Whoa, whoa, oh-oh

0:45:07 > 0:45:11- # Oh, yeah, celebrate everything - Whoa, whoa

0:45:11 > 0:45:15- # Oh, yeah - Help yourself to what you want

0:45:15 > 0:45:18- # Yeah - Get caught by the wind

0:45:18 > 0:45:20- # Yeah - Believing you can fly

0:45:20 > 0:45:23- # Oh, get caught by the wind - Celebrate everything

0:45:23 > 0:45:25- # Oh, yeah - Sunbathing on the roof

0:45:25 > 0:45:28- # Oh, yeah - Watching aeroplanes

0:45:28 > 0:45:31- # Oh, yeah - Believing you can live

0:45:31 > 0:45:34- # Oh, be caught but the wind - Yeah, forever and a day. #

0:45:44 > 0:45:46Thank you!

0:45:46 > 0:45:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:45:47 > 0:45:52- Thank you very much. - Stereophonics, ladies and gentlemen!

0:45:52 > 0:45:55Tune! Tune!

0:45:59 > 0:46:01LAUGHTER

0:46:01 > 0:46:03I was going to have a chat to them!

0:46:07 > 0:46:10All right. I don't know if Kelly just pressed some button.

0:46:10 > 0:46:12It was like the garage door.

0:46:12 > 0:46:14IN WELSH ACCENT: "All right, McIntyre."

0:46:14 > 0:46:17Stereophonics, ladies and gentlemen!

0:46:17 > 0:46:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:46:19 > 0:46:21Now, ladies and gentlemen, it is time to find out

0:46:21 > 0:46:24what replies Alan Shearer has received.

0:46:24 > 0:46:27It's time to play Send To All.

0:46:27 > 0:46:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:46:28 > 0:46:30OK.

0:46:30 > 0:46:32All right, Alan. Let's get this on.

0:46:32 > 0:46:34Let's remind you of what the text was.

0:46:34 > 0:46:37The text that I sent in to Alan Shearer's phone

0:46:37 > 0:46:39earlier tonight was...

0:46:57 > 0:47:00..with the emoji of his old celebration.

0:47:00 > 0:47:05OK. I can tell you that a text has just come in from Ant.

0:47:05 > 0:47:08- Would that be Ant Ant? - That would be Ant Ant, yes.

0:47:08 > 0:47:09Ant from Ant and Dec.

0:47:09 > 0:47:12OK. It's so fun!

0:47:12 > 0:47:16"It's a deal. Particularly happy about the groin massage!"

0:47:16 > 0:47:18LAUGHTER

0:47:20 > 0:47:22Straight in. He's loving it.

0:47:22 > 0:47:25Ant McPartlin is your new assistant.

0:47:25 > 0:47:29Although you're going to have to pay him quite a hefty salary.

0:47:29 > 0:47:34- "Tongue Jo"?- Oh, no, that's my daughter's boss.

0:47:34 > 0:47:36- That's my boss.- Your boss?

0:47:36 > 0:47:38Why is she called Tongue...?

0:47:38 > 0:47:41- She's Jo Tongue.- Oh, Jo Tongue, OK.

0:47:41 > 0:47:46"Your tight satin Match Of The Day shirts need ironing?

0:47:46 > 0:47:50"Just stretch them over your retirement belly!"

0:47:53 > 0:47:56And then a nice emoji of the winking...

0:47:57 > 0:48:01"But I reckon I could manage your diary.

0:48:01 > 0:48:04"Saturday night, 10.30pm, repeat weekly."

0:48:04 > 0:48:06LAUGHTER

0:48:06 > 0:48:08"How hard can it be?"

0:48:10 > 0:48:13OK. Jermaine Jenas is in.

0:48:13 > 0:48:19"Does it also include having to polish that bald head of yours?"

0:48:19 > 0:48:21Ronan Keating - "Double my salary?

0:48:21 > 0:48:25"Jeez, did you win the EuroMillions?

0:48:27 > 0:48:30"I'm in, when do I start?"

0:48:30 > 0:48:34- Who's Mobile Nigel?- He's my brother-in-law - Nigel's mobile.

0:48:34 > 0:48:36"Your Match Of The Day shirts should be in the bin,

0:48:36 > 0:48:41"and I wouldn't touch your old legs if you paid me triple my salary.

0:48:41 > 0:48:46"I would have a go at caddying, though, let me know, old timer."

0:48:46 > 0:48:49Rob Armstrong, just a quick one, who's that?

0:48:49 > 0:48:50Crazy friend from Newcastle.

0:48:50 > 0:48:53- What does he do for a living? - You don't want to know.

0:48:53 > 0:48:56- Well, I think we do. What does Rob do?- He was a debt collector.

0:48:56 > 0:49:00- He's a debt collector?- He was.- And he's a crazy friend from Newcastle.

0:49:00 > 0:49:02- He is crazy, yeah.- I think we can all picture this guy.

0:49:02 > 0:49:06He's a big lad, and he's like, "All right, Alan?"

0:49:06 > 0:49:09He's only texted five words.

0:49:09 > 0:49:13One of them is the word "when" which he's spelt W-E-N.

0:49:13 > 0:49:17And he's just gone, "Mint, wen do I start?"

0:49:17 > 0:49:21LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:49:21 > 0:49:24"Mint, wen do I start?"

0:49:26 > 0:49:30OK. Mark Lawrenson! Ah, all these legendary players

0:49:30 > 0:49:32and pundits coming through.

0:49:32 > 0:49:35"Don't think I'm qualified enough, sorry.

0:49:35 > 0:49:39"Try Hansen, he's doing sweet FA."

0:49:41 > 0:49:42OK. Dec. Let's go for...

0:49:42 > 0:49:44We've had Ant. Ant and Dec.

0:49:44 > 0:49:47"Hi, Al, not sure this was meant for me.

0:49:47 > 0:49:50"I'll gladly iron your shirt for double my current salary,

0:49:50 > 0:49:54"but I reckon you'll only be able to afford me for two weeks.

0:49:54 > 0:49:58"PS, I'll do the hamstring and groin rubs for free, though."

0:49:58 > 0:50:02There you go. Dec's in on that. All right.

0:50:02 > 0:50:05Oh, my God, a hilarious one's just come in from Peter Davo.

0:50:05 > 0:50:08- Who's that?- He's a friend of mine in Newcastle.- His friend of yours?

0:50:08 > 0:50:11He's just gone, "You never had a hamstring injury.

0:50:11 > 0:50:13"You have to run fast to get of those!"

0:50:13 > 0:50:17LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:50:19 > 0:50:21OK. Jo Thompson?

0:50:21 > 0:50:24- Oh.- Who's Jo Thompson? - She's the wife of a friend of mine.

0:50:24 > 0:50:27Alan Thompson, he used to play for Newcastle.

0:50:27 > 0:50:29I don't know what this is about

0:50:29 > 0:50:32but it is the longest text you've ever received.

0:50:32 > 0:50:35And it has ticks in it.

0:50:35 > 0:50:38"Number one, managing diary, tick.

0:50:40 > 0:50:42"Number two, ironing..." in brackets,

0:50:42 > 0:50:47"..got a Girl Guides' Happy Housekeeper badge. Tick.

0:50:47 > 0:50:50"Number three, massage in very sensitive

0:50:50 > 0:50:53"and sometimes painful areas..."

0:50:53 > 0:50:57in brackets, "full-on PhD in this one, double tick.

0:50:58 > 0:51:01"Number four, caddying, question mark.

0:51:01 > 0:51:05"Hm. Then three emojis of the thinking person.

0:51:05 > 0:51:07"Now we're in uncharted territory.

0:51:07 > 0:51:09"Mind you, if it helps,

0:51:09 > 0:51:14"I'm very experienced in lugging around a dead weight on my back.

0:51:16 > 0:51:19"Well, you've given me a right good laugh there.

0:51:19 > 0:51:23"Terms and conditions, mind, salary, four question marks.

0:51:23 > 0:51:27"Double of nothing is nothing.

0:51:28 > 0:51:31"So, as long as there is a lifetime of friendship,

0:51:31 > 0:51:37"love and happiness for all of our gorgeous families, I'm in!"

0:51:37 > 0:51:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:51:41 > 0:51:47"Take the job card out of the Post Office window, position filled!"

0:51:47 > 0:51:52Love it! She's got it, she's in. You've been such, such fun.

0:51:52 > 0:51:56Alan Shearer, thank you so, so much in for being here.

0:51:56 > 0:51:58Ladies and gentlemen! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:51:58 > 0:52:02- ALL CHANT: - Shearer, Shearer, Shearer, Shearer!

0:52:02 > 0:52:05It's Alan Shearer! Fantastic, bravo.

0:52:05 > 0:52:07Thank you so much, Alan.

0:52:10 > 0:52:13OK. Earlier tonight, ladies and gentlemen,

0:52:13 > 0:52:17as you remember, we surprised Sanjna.

0:52:17 > 0:52:20But Sanjna reached for her phone

0:52:20 > 0:52:24in the moment to record... This is what young people are like.

0:52:24 > 0:52:27As soon as anything happens, they just start filming it.

0:52:27 > 0:52:31And she filmed it. So, I think we've actually got that footage of her.

0:52:31 > 0:52:33Have we got that of what Sanjna filmed?

0:52:33 > 0:52:37Sanjna, it's going to be on TV. It's going to be on TV.

0:52:37 > 0:52:40CHEERING

0:52:40 > 0:52:44So, that is Sanjna's own footage of what happened earlier,

0:52:44 > 0:52:49which is amazing. So, she has been backstage rehearsing,

0:52:49 > 0:52:52and getting ready for her big performance.

0:52:52 > 0:52:55Let's have a little look at how our Unexpected Star

0:52:55 > 0:52:57of this show has been getting on.

0:53:00 > 0:53:02When I went into that dojo,

0:53:02 > 0:53:04I thought I was training a new beginner class of taekwondo.

0:53:04 > 0:53:06I actually was thinking, "It's legit."

0:53:06 > 0:53:08I thought it was legit.

0:53:08 > 0:53:11So, when he kicked down the wall, I wanted to burst out laughing.

0:53:11 > 0:53:13Oh, my gosh. I was really shocked.

0:53:13 > 0:53:15So, Sanjna was in total shock when she walked in.

0:53:15 > 0:53:17She said she felt like she was in a dream.

0:53:17 > 0:53:20And actually her voice is beautiful, so,

0:53:20 > 0:53:22she's got a real depth to her sound for a 17-year-old.

0:53:22 > 0:53:24She sounds great.

0:53:24 > 0:53:26- I can speak to you on that. - It's crispy.

0:53:26 > 0:53:27There's a huge note at the end of the song

0:53:27 > 0:53:30that she has to hold for a long time. When she first tried it,

0:53:30 > 0:53:32she didn't have the breath support to be able to do it.

0:53:32 > 0:53:34But now she's really nailing it

0:53:34 > 0:53:36that's probably the peak moment of the song.

0:53:36 > 0:53:39She's been in hair styling, staging, vocals.

0:53:39 > 0:53:40She's got a ten-piece orchestra,

0:53:40 > 0:53:43and some band there. Her voice needs to raise to the occasion.

0:53:43 > 0:53:47But I think she's going to be all right, fingers crossed. Let's go.

0:53:47 > 0:53:50Now that I've done all the rehearsals,

0:53:50 > 0:53:51I'm really excited to go on stage,

0:53:51 > 0:53:53and just, it's going to go really good.

0:53:53 > 0:53:55It's a dream come true, to be honest.

0:53:57 > 0:53:58APPLAUSE

0:53:58 > 0:54:01Ladies and gentlemen, the moment has arrived.

0:54:01 > 0:54:04This is an absolutely massive moment for Sanjna.

0:54:04 > 0:54:07Please give her all the love you possibly can.

0:54:07 > 0:54:12Please welcome our Unexpected Star of the tonight show, it's Sanjna!

0:54:12 > 0:54:15WILD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:54:24 > 0:54:32# Birds flyin' high you know how I feel

0:54:32 > 0:54:37# Sun in the sky you know how I feel

0:54:37 > 0:54:44# Breeze driftin' on by you know how I feel

0:54:44 > 0:54:47# It's a new dawn it's a new day

0:54:47 > 0:54:50# It's a new life

0:54:50 > 0:54:54# For me

0:54:54 > 0:55:00# And I'm feelin' good

0:55:09 > 0:55:12# Dragonfly out in the sun

0:55:12 > 0:55:16# You know what I mean don't you know

0:55:17 > 0:55:20# Butterflies all havin' fun

0:55:20 > 0:55:23# You know what I mean

0:55:23 > 0:55:27# Sleep in peace when day is done

0:55:27 > 0:55:29# That's what I mean

0:55:29 > 0:55:33# And this old world is a new world

0:55:33 > 0:55:36# And a bold world

0:55:36 > 0:55:42# For me

0:55:52 > 0:55:58# Stars when you shine you know how I feel

0:55:58 > 0:56:04# Scent of the pine you know how I feel, yeah

0:56:04 > 0:56:08# Freedom is mine

0:56:08 > 0:56:11# And I know how I feel

0:56:11 > 0:56:14# It's a new dawn, it's a new day

0:56:14 > 0:56:17# It's a new life

0:56:18 > 0:56:22# It's a new dawn, it's a new day

0:56:22 > 0:56:25# It's a new life

0:56:25 > 0:56:28# It's a new dawn, it's a new day

0:56:28 > 0:56:32# It's a new life

0:56:32 > 0:56:41# For me

0:56:41 > 0:56:51# And I'm feeling good. #

0:56:51 > 0:56:55WILD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:56:55 > 0:56:57Sanjna, ladies and gentlemen!

0:56:57 > 0:57:00Sanj!

0:57:00 > 0:57:03Well done. Look at that!

0:57:03 > 0:57:04CHEERING CONTINUES

0:57:04 > 0:57:06Oh, wow.

0:57:08 > 0:57:09That was amazing.

0:57:09 > 0:57:11Sanj!

0:57:14 > 0:57:15Woo!

0:57:15 > 0:57:18SANJNA LAUGHS Woo!

0:57:18 > 0:57:20You have got sass.

0:57:20 > 0:57:24- How did you find that? - It was quite overwhelming.

0:57:24 > 0:57:27You were amazing. Wasn't she amazing? Come on!

0:57:27 > 0:57:29CHEERING What about that?!

0:57:29 > 0:57:31Mum's in bits over there.

0:57:31 > 0:57:34So proud.

0:57:34 > 0:57:36Come on, Mum. Come up. Come on, Mum and Dad.

0:57:36 > 0:57:39APPLAUSE

0:57:39 > 0:57:41It's Chhaya!

0:57:41 > 0:57:44Well done, Chhaya.

0:57:44 > 0:57:46Keep coming, come on, guys.

0:57:46 > 0:57:49Oh! They're all coming up!

0:57:49 > 0:57:50Ooh, hello. Hello.

0:57:50 > 0:57:53Jeez, are you kidding? It's the whole audience!

0:57:55 > 0:57:57Are you joking!

0:57:58 > 0:58:00What?!

0:58:00 > 0:58:01LAUGHTER

0:58:01 > 0:58:04All right, where's Sanjna?

0:58:04 > 0:58:05I can't find her!

0:58:05 > 0:58:07Oh, look at you.

0:58:07 > 0:58:10Oh, what's going on here?

0:58:14 > 0:58:16Are you OK? Do you know Sanjna?

0:58:16 > 0:58:18Yeah...

0:58:18 > 0:58:24Sorry. There's so many people on the stage, I... I just had to check.

0:58:24 > 0:58:26So, listen, ladies and gentlemen,

0:58:26 > 0:58:28please, one more time for an absolutely sensational

0:58:28 > 0:58:31Unexpected Star of tonight's show,

0:58:31 > 0:58:34our taekwondo-fighting Sanjna! CHEERING

0:58:34 > 0:58:36Well done. Congratulations.

0:58:36 > 0:58:38Thank you very much.

0:58:38 > 0:58:40Goodnight! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:58:40 > 0:58:43If you know somebody you'd like to nominate

0:58:43 > 0:58:46to be an Unexpected Star of the show for the next series,

0:58:46 > 0:58:49or in fact want to nominate someone for any surprise,

0:58:49 > 0:58:55please go to bbc.co.uk/bigshow for all the details.