0:00:09 > 0:00:12Tonight, on my Big Show,
0:00:12 > 0:00:16Miranda Hart hands over her mobile phone to play Send To All.
0:00:16 > 0:00:19There's music from pop megastar Niall Horan
0:00:19 > 0:00:22and comedy from the brilliant Jon Richardson.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25There's another edition of the Midnight Gameshow.
0:00:25 > 0:00:30And who will be tonight's Unexpected Star of the show?
0:00:33 > 0:00:37Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Big Show.
0:00:37 > 0:00:42Please welcome your host, Michael McIntyre.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45APPLAUSE
0:00:50 > 0:00:53MONSTER LAUGHS
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Yay!
0:00:57 > 0:01:00Oh, good evening, ladies and gentlemen!
0:01:00 > 0:01:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:02 > 0:01:09Hello and welcome to my Big Show!
0:01:09 > 0:01:11CHEERING
0:01:13 > 0:01:16Yes, we are going to have, of course, big stars,
0:01:16 > 0:01:20big laughs and even bigger surprises!
0:01:20 > 0:01:22CHEERING
0:01:22 > 0:01:25We will be playing my favourite game in the whole wide world
0:01:25 > 0:01:28which would be Send To All, ladies and gentlemen. It's a good one.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31CHEERING
0:01:31 > 0:01:37And, of course, we'll be surprising another Unexpected Star of the show!
0:01:37 > 0:01:39CHEERING
0:01:41 > 0:01:44And I will be sneaking into another bedroom
0:01:44 > 0:01:48for another Midnight Gameshow!
0:01:48 > 0:01:50CHEERING
0:01:50 > 0:01:52OK, so, this year I was invited...
0:01:52 > 0:01:55It sounds like I'm showing off, and I am!
0:01:55 > 0:01:59I was invited to the Wimbledon men's final.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01You can't go to a better sporting occasion.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03AUDIENCE MEMBER CHEERS I know, I know,
0:02:03 > 0:02:06I can feel the jealousy. It was very exciting.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09But tennis is a fun game, but there's a lot of faffing involved.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11I like football. I don't know what sports you enjoy,
0:02:11 > 0:02:15but I like football because it's gung ho, it's all action.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17The whistle goes, everybody's kicking the ball,
0:02:17 > 0:02:18trying to get it in the net,
0:02:18 > 0:02:21with a little bit more panache than I'm exhibiting right now.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23There's a bit of faffing when the ball goes off
0:02:23 > 0:02:25and they have to throw it back in. This is what I mean by faffing,
0:02:25 > 0:02:28when there's no action, when they don't quite know who to throw to.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30You can feel the crowd get restless.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33Come on! Throw the ball. There you go, there you go.
0:02:33 > 0:02:34But in tennis, it's a great sport,
0:02:34 > 0:02:37but get on with hitting it to each other.
0:02:37 > 0:02:41All the balls are the same, OK. They're all the same.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44They should just throw them a ball and go, "Play the sport.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47"We've queued through the night. Get on with it!"
0:02:47 > 0:02:49And they go up to these sweet ball boys and go,
0:02:49 > 0:02:53"You, I want a ball from you." They are so nervy.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56They struggle so hard to get the balls because they run
0:02:56 > 0:02:58and sometimes the balls go over there and they have to run...
0:02:58 > 0:03:00LAUGHTER
0:03:00 > 0:03:03They throw the ball and then the player just hits it away.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05No, I don't want that ball.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09You, give me two balls, two balls.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12I still haven't quite made my decision which one I prefer.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Is it that one or that one?
0:03:14 > 0:03:17I'm looking for the fluffiest of the two.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20I know you've paid, but wait, wait your turn.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23Soon I will play the sport that you have come to witness.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26OK, I've made my decision. Just some bouncing and looking now.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Just bounce and look. Even though I'm not on play,
0:03:29 > 0:03:32I'm going to whack my foot. I'm whacking.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34Bouncing, focus.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36All right, so, I'm going to play the sport.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Here we go, it's happening. OK, there it is.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Bang, I just served one. Ace. Ace, that's it.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43All they've done is move their arm. That's it.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46You, I need a towel, I need a towel.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:03:49 > 0:03:53I'm completely exhausted. Did you see me?
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Did you see me do that with my arm once?
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Too much faffing!
0:03:59 > 0:04:04Cricket is nearly 100% faffing.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08You're supposed to bowl the ball to a man who has to hit it with a bat.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11That is cricket. But that's not happening enough.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14All right, get the ball to the bowler,
0:04:14 > 0:04:16but they have to go through the whole field.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18I could throw it directly to him, but do you want some?
0:04:18 > 0:04:20LAUGHTER
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Thank you, yes. I'm not happy with the condition of the ball.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27Do you want a little go over there? There you go. Thank you.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Half an hour later. Are you actually the bowler?
0:04:31 > 0:04:34Sorry, I got lost in the game, my own little game of clean,
0:04:34 > 0:04:38my cleaning game that I play with my friends. Are you ready?
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Yes, I'm the bowler. All right, OK.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Still not happy with the condition of the ball.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47Now, where are you all standing? You, have you slightly...
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Just move slightly.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Stop! I'm happy with you there, I don't know why. I prefer it.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55When was the last time the ball went to you?
0:04:55 > 0:04:58Day two? Oh, yesterday. LAUGHTER
0:04:58 > 0:05:00OK, you. Just slightly closer. Stop!
0:05:00 > 0:05:04All right, I'm nearly ready. I'm nearly ready to do the sport. OK.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08Here we go. I'm just going to rock a couple of times.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10OK, you've waited this long.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14You might as well just enjoy this rocking and focusing, all right.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17OK, here it is. It's going to happen now. I'm coming in.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19And then they bowl and the batsman goes,
0:05:19 > 0:05:21"No, I don't think I'll hit that one."
0:05:21 > 0:05:23LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Stop faffing!
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Who would like to play Send To All?
0:05:32 > 0:05:36Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, it's a good one.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42So, let's find out who is in our Send To All box this week.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47Oh, it's bona fide, wonderful,
0:05:47 > 0:05:51it's the sensational Miranda Hart. It is Miranda!
0:05:51 > 0:05:53CHEERING Miranda!
0:05:53 > 0:05:58- Thank you.- Doesn't even need a surname. Miranda.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Hello, darling. Thank you for coming.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05- Pleasure.- Can I ask you who you're with tonight?- My sister, Alice.
0:06:05 > 0:06:09- Hi, Alice.- Hi.- And my friend, Jo. - Hi, Alice and Jo.- Hi.
0:06:09 > 0:06:14Hi, welcome. Welcome. So, how have you been? How are you?
0:06:14 > 0:06:17- I'm very well, thank you.- I gather you've written another book.- Yes.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19- You've written a lot of books. - Yeah, I have.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21I've been writing mainly the last two years.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23I've got a kids' book out at the moment
0:06:23 > 0:06:25called The Girl With The Lost Smile.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Thanks for asking. Available in all good retailers. And, yeah...
0:06:28 > 0:06:30- Don't worry about Send To All. - I'm a bit worried.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33There's nothing to fear. Are you a bit of a phone person?
0:06:33 > 0:06:35- Are you on your phone a lot? - Yeah, I realise I am
0:06:35 > 0:06:38- and I want to be less so. - We're all trying.- We're all trying.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40We're all addicted on some level, aren't we?
0:06:40 > 0:06:42- I reach for the phone the first thing in the morning.- Yeah.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Do you say hello to your phone before you say hello to your wife?
0:06:45 > 0:06:48Yes, I do. In fact, I text her.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50LAUGHTER
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Morning!
0:06:52 > 0:06:55All right, well, if you'd like to place it into the cushion...
0:06:55 > 0:06:57- Right.- ..I will then be in possession of it.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Ladies and gentlemen, playing Send To All tonight,
0:06:59 > 0:07:01the fabulous Miranda's here.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03CHEERING
0:07:04 > 0:07:09# What have you done today to make you feel proud? #
0:07:09 > 0:07:11- Nice.- Nice song.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13# It's never too late to try
0:07:13 > 0:07:17# What have you done today to make you feel proud? #
0:07:17 > 0:07:22All right, I am now in possession of Miranda's mobile telephone!
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Thank you, darling.
0:07:25 > 0:07:26So, I'm going to plug this in
0:07:26 > 0:07:30and that should hopefully be revealed on the screen.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33There it is, yay! APPLAUSE
0:07:33 > 0:07:36- Oh. AUDIENCE:- Aw.- Who's that?
0:07:36 > 0:07:39- That's Peggy.- Oh, Peggy.- Yeah.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42- She's a lovely person. - She's a dog, Michael.
0:07:42 > 0:07:43LAUGHTER
0:07:43 > 0:07:47Sorry, I thought dog owners think their dogs are people, no?
0:07:47 > 0:07:49- Some take it to that level.- OK.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51So, photos.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Oh, yeah! Ooh, hello!
0:07:54 > 0:07:56- There's Peggy.- I mean, yeah.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59Peggy in your robe. OK, all right.
0:07:59 > 0:08:00Oh, this...
0:08:00 > 0:08:02LAUGHTER
0:08:02 > 0:08:06What's all this about? MIRANDA LAUGHS
0:08:06 > 0:08:09That, a fan sent me a photograph
0:08:09 > 0:08:13of a Miranda that they had made out of papier-mache.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17- That is amazing. Is this another one?- That's another one.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Weirdly, from a separate fan,
0:08:19 > 0:08:22so I don't know what fans of mine are doing.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25- Shrivelled legs. - LAUGHTER
0:08:25 > 0:08:27- So, that's an amazing thing that people are doing.- Yeah.
0:08:27 > 0:08:32- Did you ask them to do that?- No. - They just like to make you.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Oh, hello. What's going on here?
0:08:35 > 0:08:38That was a hilarious Instagram post.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41- Is there anything in my teeth? - LAUGHTER
0:08:41 > 0:08:45OK, good. This is you in your new swimming pool.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Yeah, a friend bought me a paddling pool.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51No, don't zoom in!
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Sorry, I was zooming in to the magazine.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Don't zoom in, don't zoom in! Sorry, you're quite right. Zoom out.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01- OK, let's get on with this text. - Oh, no!
0:09:01 > 0:09:04No, it's a fun one. You really don't need to worry. OK, here we go.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07The text we're going to send out of Miranda's phone is,
0:09:07 > 0:09:11"Texting from the loo
0:09:11 > 0:09:15"at Buck Pal."
0:09:15 > 0:09:17LAUGHTER
0:09:17 > 0:09:23"At a super awkward dinner."
0:09:25 > 0:09:30Sorry, am I just constantly going to dinner with the Royals? What?
0:09:30 > 0:09:34- It's how people see you.- Oh, right.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36"I'm sat between
0:09:36 > 0:09:38"the President of Switzerland..."
0:09:38 > 0:09:40LAUGHTER
0:09:40 > 0:09:43"..and a competition winner."
0:09:43 > 0:09:46LAUGHTER
0:09:46 > 0:09:49- OK, I believe it more now. - "Brackets,
0:09:49 > 0:09:51"neither of whom...
0:09:52 > 0:09:55"..has seen Miranda.
0:09:56 > 0:10:00"We're just staring at each other.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04"My only contribution so far
0:10:04 > 0:10:08"has been a silent fart."
0:10:08 > 0:10:12LAUGHTER
0:10:15 > 0:10:20"Need conversation starters quick.
0:10:22 > 0:10:27"If you come up with something good,
0:10:27 > 0:10:32"I'll steal you some royal loo roll."
0:10:33 > 0:10:37- So, how would you end a text, Miranda?- Um, two kisses.
0:10:37 > 0:10:38Two kisses, OK.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41So, we're putting this all on them, Miranda.
0:10:41 > 0:10:47Conversation starters from your learned, wise, humorous friends
0:10:47 > 0:10:51to help you out of this pickle. The text is as follows.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53"Texting from the loo at Buck Pal.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55"At a super awkward dinner.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58"I'm sat between the President of Switzerland
0:10:58 > 0:11:01"and a competition winner (neither of whom has seen Miranda.)
0:11:01 > 0:11:05"We're just staring at each other.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07"My only contribution so far has been a silent fart.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10"Need conversation starters quick!
0:11:10 > 0:11:13"If you come up with something good, I'll steal you some royal loo roll."
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Miranda, I'm told you have
0:11:15 > 0:11:19- a sensational number of people in your phone.- Oh, really?
0:11:19 > 0:11:23So, we are going to send to 238 people
0:11:23 > 0:11:29your silent fart, awkward dinner, conversation starter text
0:11:29 > 0:11:32and we're going to send that now!
0:11:32 > 0:11:36- No!- Yay!
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Ladies and gentlemen, a huge thank you
0:11:38 > 0:11:41for the extraordinarily brilliant and hilarious Miranda!
0:11:41 > 0:11:47Yes. Thank you, darling. It's a fun one. It's a fun one.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time to find out
0:11:52 > 0:11:57who is going to be tonight's Unexpected Star of the show.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03Every week, on the Big Show,
0:12:03 > 0:12:06we surprise a member of the public who has a passion for singing
0:12:06 > 0:12:10and give them a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to perform
0:12:10 > 0:12:14on this West End stage for you and the millions watching at home.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18So, here is tonight's Unexpected Star.
0:12:18 > 0:12:22This is Dr Ciara Mackey.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Ciara lives in Belfast.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27She is an A&E doctor. There she is with her selfie,
0:12:27 > 0:12:31beginning her shift of helping people and saving people.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34She paid for herself to go through medical school by singing in pubs.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38She's never sung for an audience like this ever before.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40She's been nominated by her boyfriend, Simon,
0:12:40 > 0:12:43and she thinks that she has been whisked away
0:12:43 > 0:12:48from her home in Belfast to London for a romantic break.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50- AUDIENCE:- Aw!
0:12:50 > 0:12:53Ciara and Simon have flown to London,
0:12:53 > 0:12:55the city we're in currently...
0:12:55 > 0:12:56LAUGHTER
0:12:56 > 0:13:01..and he's treating her to a surprise night at the Grand Hotel.
0:13:01 > 0:13:06Except the Grand Hotel does not exist, ladies and gentlemen.
0:13:07 > 0:13:14Tonight, we are transforming this theatre into the Grand Hotel.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17The inside of this auditorium -
0:13:17 > 0:13:19I hope you've been to the loo -
0:13:19 > 0:13:21is on lockdown.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23We have to stay in here
0:13:23 > 0:13:27because we have rebranded everything outside of the theatre.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30So, let's have a little look at what the theatre looked like
0:13:30 > 0:13:32when you yourselves arrived.
0:13:32 > 0:13:37That is where you entered the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39So, here it is now, ladies and gentlemen.
0:13:39 > 0:13:45There is reception and those are all actors waiting.
0:13:45 > 0:13:49Sorry, is that a still or are those people...? That's actually...
0:13:49 > 0:13:52If the receptionist is listening, can he just wiggle his bottom?
0:13:52 > 0:13:54There you go.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57I was worried that it wasn't real.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00MICHAEL LAUGHS
0:14:02 > 0:14:06So, those people are frozen in time in the reception of the Grand Hotel.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09So, she's going to come to this hotel.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12Ultimately she's coming down a corridor with her boyfriend.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14Meanwhile, the bellboy will be saying,
0:14:14 > 0:14:17"It's a cosy room but, really, it's all about the view."
0:14:17 > 0:14:20She's going to come into the hotel room and then, obviously,
0:14:20 > 0:14:24the view is behind the curtain and it's all of you.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28You will be the view. Let's do that.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32So, let's chat to her mum, Liz, and her friends.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Woohoo!
0:14:35 > 0:14:39Hi, Liz. It's Liz. It's Ciara's mother.
0:14:41 > 0:14:42And we've got some friends too.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45- Ciara.- Hi, Ciara, lovely to meet you.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47And Siobhan. So, Liz, tell us all about Ciara.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50- She's been working last night? - She has.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52I mean, Ciara works, well, like all doctors.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55- These two girls are the same. They work 12-hour shifts.- Right.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57- She's actually been on nights. - You're doctors as well?
0:14:57 > 0:15:00- Yeah.- Both of them are. - This is very good.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Because it's such a shock for the Unexpected Stars
0:15:02 > 0:15:04we have a paramedic that's on standby.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07But I feel like you've got that covered. Tell me about her voice.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10She's been singing since she was, like, three or four.
0:15:10 > 0:15:14She can kind of do opera, she can do pop, she can do anything, really.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Tell us about her relationship with Simon, her boyfriend.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19- How long has that been going on? - Well, about two years.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22And I think he is a brave man to have done what he's done.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24I hope that this all goes to plan
0:15:24 > 0:15:25because she's coming into this bedroom.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27- I hope that she opens the curtains. - Yeah.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29And doesn't do something unexpected?
0:15:29 > 0:15:32- She doesn't do something completely unexpected.- OK.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36IN IRISH ACCENT: Oh, Simon darling, it's been such a long trip.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39I love a cosy room. Let's try the bed out.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41No! No! No!
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Thank you so, so much.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46- Thank YOU so much.- It's Ciara's lovely mother, Liz.- Thank you.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Thank you so much, thank you.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50All right, thanks, girls.
0:15:51 > 0:15:57I am going to go and take a look now at the Grand Hotel. Let's do this.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00CHEERING
0:16:00 > 0:16:04OK, so, hopefully, you should see me.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Have I popped up on the screen yet?
0:16:06 > 0:16:09- AUDIENCE:- Yes.- So, here we are.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13We're outside. This is the Theatre Royal. This is Drury Lane.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15How are you? Sterling work, sterling work.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18No idea who that is, but we seem to get on well.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20How are you? There's a lot of security.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Yes, cos we can't let anyone close to the place.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26We're going to move round now to the front of the theatre.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Here we go. So, this is it. This is now the front of the theatre.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31Grand Hotel. It's four stars.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35It was three-star, but the last one is an "unexpected star".
0:16:35 > 0:16:37LAUGHTER
0:16:37 > 0:16:40What's going to happen, Ciara is going to arrive here
0:16:40 > 0:16:43in her Mercedes and she'll be taken through.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45These people are actors, they're not real.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48They're cold and they're doing a wonderful job.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51Now, let's go through into our frozen lobby.
0:16:51 > 0:16:56So, up we go to the red carpet and, of course, as you remember,
0:16:56 > 0:16:58everybody is frozen here.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00The doorman, we've got tourists,
0:17:00 > 0:17:05people on their phones over here, chatting. This is our security.
0:17:05 > 0:17:11And, if I hit this bell, everybody should come to life.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13BELL RINGS
0:17:13 > 0:17:17APPLAUSE
0:17:21 > 0:17:23They're going to check in here
0:17:23 > 0:17:25and be taken up by the bellboy, Jamie.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27And I'll show you the route.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29So, we go through here,
0:17:29 > 0:17:34into the grand staircase, where we have our pianist over here and...
0:17:34 > 0:17:37HE PLAYS THE PIANO
0:17:37 > 0:17:40That is our theme music on the piano.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43I love the risks we're taking!
0:17:43 > 0:17:47And, of course, our tourists. Yeah, you can start too. Very good.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49So, up we go.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51They'll be led to their rooms by the bellboy,
0:17:51 > 0:17:53all the way through the corridor.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59On you go, darling. LAUGHTER
0:17:59 > 0:18:03So, here we have other people's bags, people loitering,
0:18:03 > 0:18:04all the details.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08These two planning their day tomorrow. Off you go.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10LAUGHTER
0:18:10 > 0:18:12All right, we move along here.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15A lot of the theatre stuff obviously works for both.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18And then, we're having some renovation over here,
0:18:18 > 0:18:20so we've got a decorator, obviously,
0:18:20 > 0:18:23because the centre royal box is in here and this gentleman is...
0:18:23 > 0:18:25I'm going to be honest with you, he's working
0:18:25 > 0:18:29just about as hard right now as the builders I have at home.
0:18:29 > 0:18:30LAUGHTER
0:18:30 > 0:18:33If only I had the ability in my own house to do this.
0:18:35 > 0:18:39What am I paying you for? OK, so, through we go,
0:18:39 > 0:18:42where we now move... Yay!
0:18:42 > 0:18:46Someone's room service has been left over here and we have...
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Actually, on this occasion,
0:18:48 > 0:18:51I might take advantage of the fact that she's frozen.
0:18:51 > 0:18:52LAUGHTER
0:18:55 > 0:18:59Here is our gentleman struggling with his key.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02Yep, so he'll be back struggling with the key there.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06That is a very familiar scene. Nice to see you.
0:19:06 > 0:19:10And then we come to room 212.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14Hiya, how are you doing? LAUGHTER
0:19:14 > 0:19:18And into this incredibly disappointing...
0:19:19 > 0:19:23We have a Corby trouser press over here.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27This is obviously a fake door so, good luck going to the loo.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29We've got the TV over here.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31So, what's going to happen is the bellboy will go,
0:19:31 > 0:19:34"I know it's a cosy but, really, we're here for the view.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37"It's simply life-changing." And then...
0:19:38 > 0:19:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:19:42 > 0:19:44And there you all will be!
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Whoa!
0:19:47 > 0:19:48Whoa!
0:19:48 > 0:19:51God, I hope that works!
0:19:53 > 0:19:55All right, we've got to put this back now,
0:19:55 > 0:19:57cos that really would ruin everything.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59LAUGHTER
0:20:02 > 0:20:04All right, so, let's do this.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07So, we have a tracker on Ciara's car
0:20:07 > 0:20:10and, that's her, the arrow.
0:20:10 > 0:20:15Argh, that's her coming! Ciara is there.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18She's just gone past the British Museum and a Travelodge,
0:20:18 > 0:20:20which is probably a better hotel than we're offering.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22LAUGHTER
0:20:22 > 0:20:24They are now very, very close.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27They're going the wrong way.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Why are they going the wrong way?
0:20:31 > 0:20:35If we just watch them drive back to Ireland,
0:20:35 > 0:20:38we'll know they've had a bit of a barney in the car
0:20:38 > 0:20:40and all this was for nothing.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44If he doesn't turn right, I'm really confused.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47- AUDIENCE:- Ooh.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50They'll be coming from the left in a Mercedes.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55All right, this is them, ladies and gentlemen.
0:20:55 > 0:21:00- So, exiting that vehicle.- Good evening. Welcome to the Grand Hotel.
0:21:00 > 0:21:01- Thank you.- That is Ciara.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04- Just wait one moment, I'll escort you through.- Thank you.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08- Did you have a good journey?- Yes. - Take the bags in for them.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10She seems to like it. She likes it.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12I'll escort these people through to reception. Good evening, sir.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15- Welcome to the Grand Hotel. - Thank you.- This way, please.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17- DRIVER:- Sure?- Yes, thank you. - Have a good stay.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19- Thanks very much.- Thanks very much.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Reception over there. I hope you have a very pleasant stay.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26OK, thank you.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31OK, she seems to like it.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34OK, Diane, if you can hear me, just turn and say,
0:21:34 > 0:21:37"Sorry, guys. Full disclosure. I've just passed wind."
0:21:37 > 0:21:39LAUGHTER
0:21:39 > 0:21:44I'm so sorry. Full disclosure. I've just passed wind.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47LAUGHTER
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Say, "Are you guys on a romantic break?"
0:21:54 > 0:21:58- Are you guys on a romantic break? - Yes.- Yes.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00I'm here with my toy boy.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04- I'm here with my toy boy. - He's a real hunk.- He's a real hunk.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06- I'm waiting for him. - Send in Robert, the toy boy.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Oh, there he is!
0:22:10 > 0:22:12- LAUGHTER - Hey.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Hey, honey.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18Hot stuff. What did I tell you?
0:22:20 > 0:22:22So, the receptionist, can you just finish checking them in?
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Jamie, could you show Mr and Mrs Dressel to their room?
0:22:25 > 0:22:27There you go. It's 501.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Now, Robert, I want you to say, "We're checking out."
0:22:30 > 0:22:32- We're checking out. - Everyone's checking YOU out, honey.
0:22:32 > 0:22:36- Everyone's checking YOU out, honey. - LAUGHTER
0:22:40 > 0:22:44OK, all right. Oh, she's cracking up over there. She's cracking up.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Let's let her laugh a bit.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49Now, when the guy's not looking, steal the bell
0:22:49 > 0:22:52and tell Ciara to shush.
0:22:52 > 0:22:53Steal the bell.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Ssh...
0:22:57 > 0:23:00LAUGHTER
0:23:00 > 0:23:04OK, now the receptionist, say, "I'll just call for your bags,"
0:23:04 > 0:23:06and try and hit the bell.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08I'll just call for your bags.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10- LAUGHTER - Where's the bell?
0:23:10 > 0:23:13There was a bell there.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Did you take the bell?
0:23:15 > 0:23:17No, I don't like bells.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20Ask Simon and Ciara if they know anything about the bell.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Excuse me, do you know anything about the bell?
0:23:22 > 0:23:26- Did you see anything about the bell? - No.- Security, come over.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Take her to one side.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31I'm sorry, I'm just going to take you to one side, please.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33- Just over there.- What's the problem?
0:23:33 > 0:23:36- You seem a bit bulky.- How dare you!
0:23:36 > 0:23:40- Can I ask you to open your jacket, please?- ROBERT:- Huh?
0:23:41 > 0:23:43You haven't done it again?!
0:23:45 > 0:23:49LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:23:52 > 0:23:55- You got me.- OK, you're going to need to both come with me.
0:23:55 > 0:24:00- That way, please. Come on, come on. - It was included in the room.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02OK, apologise and let's check you in.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05I'm sorry, I've never seen anything like that before.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09- How are you both?- Fine.- You've pre-checked in, haven't you?- Yeah.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12- That's great. Excellent. Let me give you that, take that back.- Cheers.
0:24:12 > 0:24:17- It's room to 212. Jamie. You'll love the view.- OK, thanks.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19- JAMIE:- Come on through.- Thank you.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22- Have you travelled far? - From Ireland.- Belfast, yeah.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25Ah, OK, nice. So, just up these stairs.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28PIANIST PLAYS BIG SHOW THEME TUNE
0:24:41 > 0:24:43PIANIST CONTINUES TO PLAY
0:24:43 > 0:24:46- After you.- Come on through. Sorry about this area, guys.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48We're just having some work done.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55212, just this way. I'll just go in front, sorry.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59- Hi, how are you?- Just along here.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02Excuse me, this key card's not working.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04OK, sir, if you just pop back to reception
0:25:04 > 0:25:08- and they'll get you a new one cut. - Thank you very much.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12- OK, there's the key card.- Thanks very much.- There you go.- Thank you.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14- Oh, lovely!- It is a cosy room,
0:25:14 > 0:25:17- however, the view is absolutely amazing.- Ah.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19- The view?- The view's amazing. - Thank you.- Check it out.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:26 > 0:25:27What?
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Ladies and gentlemen...
0:25:40 > 0:25:43..it's our Unexpected Star of tonight's show.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46It's Ciara.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54Ciara...I understand that's a bit of a shock.
0:25:54 > 0:25:58There's your mum over there, there's your friends.
0:25:58 > 0:26:03Hiding behind the curtain is your very, very guilty boyfriend.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06But what about that, Simon?
0:26:06 > 0:26:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Come with me.
0:26:10 > 0:26:11Ladies and gentlemen,
0:26:11 > 0:26:15it's our incredibly shocked Unexpected Star of tonight's show.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17It's Ciara at the Grand Hotel!
0:26:17 > 0:26:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:20 > 0:26:23All right. Oh, my goodness!
0:26:24 > 0:26:27I know. Even I'm in shock.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31- Ciara, we're all here... - You're Michael McIntyre.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34I am, I am, I am. LAUGHTER
0:26:34 > 0:26:37You were very sweet not to be incredibly disappointed
0:26:37 > 0:26:40with that room. Come over here.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43You can see, actually, everybody in the lobby. There they all are.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:46 > 0:26:51They are all actors and they've all been waiting here to surprise you.
0:26:54 > 0:26:58- We've turned the whole theatre into a hotel.- Oh, wow.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00It meant that we couldn't leave the auditorium,
0:27:00 > 0:27:02which has made some people quite uncomfortable.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04How are you feeling?
0:27:04 > 0:27:06What's happening?
0:27:08 > 0:27:12- You're here on a romantic break with Simon.- Yes.- How's that been going?
0:27:12 > 0:27:15It's... It's going very well, yeah.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17And more people than I thought.
0:27:19 > 0:27:23More of an audience in the bedroom than one expected.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25- There's two and a half thousand people here.- OK.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27We're all here to surprise you
0:27:27 > 0:27:30because you're going to be something called - if you'll agree -
0:27:30 > 0:27:33the Unexpected Star of tonight's show.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36- That's why you're here, that's why you've been nominated.- OK.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39So, you will come back on this very stage.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42My question to you, Ciara, is would you like to play us out
0:27:42 > 0:27:44at the end of this show, to sing for us
0:27:44 > 0:27:47and be tonight's Unexpected Star of the show?
0:27:47 > 0:27:49Um, sure.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51We've got ourselves a "sure"!
0:27:51 > 0:27:54Ladies and gentlemen, it's our Unexpected Star of tonight's show.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57It's Ciara. Amazing!
0:27:57 > 0:27:59CHEERING
0:27:59 > 0:28:02We'll get your bags. Hold on.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05Don't forget your bag, Ciara. There you go. Off you go.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08- They're waiting there to meet you. - Can I get my other bag?
0:28:08 > 0:28:10Yes, you can get your other bag.
0:28:10 > 0:28:14You're absolutely right. You've got your handbag. Is this Simon's bag?
0:28:14 > 0:28:19- Yeah.- Hold on, let me sort this out. You've got your bags. Sorry.
0:28:19 > 0:28:21Ladies and gentlemen,
0:28:21 > 0:28:24it's our Unexpected Star of tonight's show, Ciara.
0:28:30 > 0:28:34Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the most handsome, charming,
0:28:34 > 0:28:36Irish 20-something I've ever met.
0:28:36 > 0:28:39He's a global pop superstar and I love this song!
0:28:39 > 0:28:42Singing Slow Hands, it's Niall Horan.
0:28:42 > 0:28:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:59 > 0:29:04# "We should take this back to my place"
0:29:05 > 0:29:09# That's what she said right to my face
0:29:11 > 0:29:13# Cos I want you bad
0:29:13 > 0:29:16# Yeah, I want you, baby
0:29:16 > 0:29:20# I've been thinking 'bout it all day
0:29:22 > 0:29:27# And I hope you feel the same way, yeah
0:29:27 > 0:29:29# Cos I want you bad
0:29:30 > 0:29:32# Yeah, I want you, baby
0:29:32 > 0:29:34# Slow, slow hands
0:29:34 > 0:29:37# Like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry
0:29:37 > 0:29:40# No, no chance
0:29:40 > 0:29:43# That I'm leaving here without you on me
0:29:43 > 0:29:45# I, I know
0:29:45 > 0:29:49# Yeah, I already know that there ain't no stopping
0:29:49 > 0:29:51# Your plans and those... #
0:29:51 > 0:29:54- AUDIENCE:- # Slow hands. #- Woo!
0:29:59 > 0:30:00# Slow hands
0:30:05 > 0:30:10# I just wanna take my time
0:30:11 > 0:30:17# We could do this, baby, all night, yeah
0:30:17 > 0:30:20# Cos I want you bad
0:30:20 > 0:30:22# Yeah, I want you, baby
0:30:22 > 0:30:24# Slow, slow hands
0:30:24 > 0:30:27# Like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry
0:30:27 > 0:30:30# No, no chance
0:30:30 > 0:30:32# That I'm leaving here without you on me
0:30:32 > 0:30:35# I, I know
0:30:35 > 0:30:38# Yeah, I already know that there ain't no stopping
0:30:38 > 0:30:41# Your plans and those... #
0:30:41 > 0:30:44- AUDIENCE:- # Slow hands. #- Woo!
0:30:44 > 0:30:46# Fingertips puttin' on a show
0:30:46 > 0:30:49# Got me now and I can't say no
0:30:49 > 0:30:52# Wanna be with you all alone
0:30:52 > 0:30:55# Take me home, take me home
0:30:55 > 0:30:58# Fingertips puttin' on a show
0:30:58 > 0:31:01# Can't you tell that I want you, baby, yeah
0:31:01 > 0:31:03# Slow hands
0:31:03 > 0:31:06# Like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry
0:31:06 > 0:31:08# No, no chance
0:31:08 > 0:31:11# That I'm leaving here without you on me
0:31:11 > 0:31:14# I, I know
0:31:14 > 0:31:17# Yeah, I already know that there ain't no stopping
0:31:17 > 0:31:19# Slow hands
0:31:19 > 0:31:22# Like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry
0:31:22 > 0:31:24# No, no chance
0:31:24 > 0:31:28# That I'm leaving here without you on me
0:31:28 > 0:31:30# I, I know
0:31:30 > 0:31:34# Yeah, I already know that there ain't no stopping
0:31:34 > 0:31:36# Your plans and those... #
0:31:36 > 0:31:39- AUDIENCE:- # Slow hands. #- Woo!
0:31:43 > 0:31:45# These slow hands
0:31:48 > 0:31:50# Woo, slow hands. #
0:31:50 > 0:31:52Thank you.
0:31:52 > 0:31:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:31:58 > 0:32:00Niall Horan, ladies and gentlemen!
0:32:02 > 0:32:03Woo!
0:32:03 > 0:32:06# Slow Hands, you know. #
0:32:06 > 0:32:08Thank you, Niall. Thank you for being here.
0:32:08 > 0:32:11Girls love you! Girls love you!
0:32:11 > 0:32:13SCREAMING
0:32:13 > 0:32:16Girls don't scream at me. My wife screams at me but not in this way.
0:32:16 > 0:32:18Anyway, I love that bit - the "woo".
0:32:18 > 0:32:21- Yeah.- Can I do one? Can I do one?
0:32:21 > 0:32:25# Your plans and those slow hands
0:32:25 > 0:32:26# Ooh! #
0:32:27 > 0:32:30Pretty good, pretty good. Listen, congratulations.
0:32:30 > 0:32:33- You have a brand-new album which is out to buy.- Yes, indeed.
0:32:33 > 0:32:36- And it is called Flicker.- Yes. - Flicker. I've seen the posters.
0:32:36 > 0:32:39- You're such a handsome man. That song is awesome.- Thanks very much.
0:32:39 > 0:32:42All of the songs are awesome. Many congratulations.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44One more time for the fantastic and the wonderful...
0:32:44 > 0:32:46Thank you for being here. It's Niall Horan. Thank you very much.
0:32:46 > 0:32:48Thank you, really appreciate it.
0:32:48 > 0:32:50Woo!
0:32:50 > 0:32:51Woo!
0:32:55 > 0:33:02Now, ladies and gentlemen, it is time to play the Midnight Gameshow!
0:33:02 > 0:33:05CHEERING
0:33:07 > 0:33:12This is no ordinary game show, ladies and gentlemen.
0:33:12 > 0:33:16The contestants of the Midnight Gameshow had no idea
0:33:16 > 0:33:18they would be taking part.
0:33:18 > 0:33:20They went to sleep, safe and sound, tucked up in their beds,
0:33:20 > 0:33:23only to be awoken in the dead of night
0:33:23 > 0:33:27by me and a camera crew to answer a series of questions
0:33:27 > 0:33:30while semiconscious, in the Midnight Gameshow!
0:33:30 > 0:33:33CHEERING
0:33:33 > 0:33:37Yes, this is the only game, indeed, where if you snooze...
0:33:37 > 0:33:39- AUDIENCE:- You lose!
0:33:39 > 0:33:41Tonight's contestant is Johnny.
0:33:41 > 0:33:44He's a 29-year-old tailor from Enfield,
0:33:44 > 0:33:49and he was set up by his girlfriend, Toni. Johnny, where are you?
0:33:49 > 0:33:52Go on, Johnny. Johnny's down here, ladies and gentlemen.
0:33:52 > 0:33:56Big hand for Johnny. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:33:56 > 0:33:59- Go on, Johnny, nice to see you. - Nice to see you again.
0:33:59 > 0:34:04Oh, Toni, you look so beautiful and handsome and charming and wonderful.
0:34:04 > 0:34:08- Cos I've only ever met you once. - Yeah. I wasn't wearing many clothes.
0:34:09 > 0:34:13- Tell me, Toni, of course, set you up for this.- Yeah.
0:34:13 > 0:34:15Toni, why would you do such a thing to Johnny?
0:34:15 > 0:34:20- Johnny loves to have a good laugh. - Right.- He likes to be a fun guy.
0:34:20 > 0:34:22- I did have a little... - Little worry.- A little worry.
0:34:22 > 0:34:24But what do you remember of the night,
0:34:24 > 0:34:27leading up to the Midnight Gameshow, Johnny?
0:34:27 > 0:34:30Before I went to bed, I was in the garden, just taking out the bins
0:34:30 > 0:34:35and, when I closed the back door, I actually broke the back door lock.
0:34:35 > 0:34:38- So, my last thought, going back to bed was...- Oh, dear!
0:34:38 > 0:34:41- ..you know, I've got to fix the lock or someone might break in.- Oh.
0:34:41 > 0:34:43That's the last thing I thought about.
0:34:43 > 0:34:49Well, this might explain this very, very extreme reaction.
0:34:49 > 0:34:52I went in second, behind the cameraman,
0:34:52 > 0:34:54who has never been more frightened.
0:34:54 > 0:34:58He thought... He thought you were going to take him down.
0:34:59 > 0:35:02Well, thank you so much for setting him up.
0:35:02 > 0:35:04Shall we take a look at what happened
0:35:04 > 0:35:06in Johnny's Midnight Gameshow?
0:35:06 > 0:35:10All right. This is Johnny in the Midnight Gameshow.
0:35:10 > 0:35:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:35:26 > 0:35:29LAUGHTER
0:35:34 > 0:35:37LAUGHTER
0:36:03 > 0:36:06LAUGHTER
0:36:09 > 0:36:12LAUGHTER
0:36:12 > 0:36:15- Whoa!- Johnny!
0:36:15 > 0:36:19Welcome to the Midnight Gameshow!
0:36:19 > 0:36:24- Is this a joke?- Thanks to your beautiful girlfriend, Toni.
0:36:25 > 0:36:27Yes, the bedside clock is ticking.
0:36:27 > 0:36:32Are you going to get back in bed and answer the following questions?
0:36:32 > 0:36:34Gather your composure.
0:36:34 > 0:36:36He's ready for it. You can relax.
0:36:36 > 0:36:39Do you want to get back and comfortable in bed?
0:36:39 > 0:36:41All right. Here we go.
0:36:41 > 0:36:43Name three types of biscuit.
0:36:43 > 0:36:45- Hobnob.- He's off.
0:36:45 > 0:36:48- McVitie's, digestive. - You're absolutely flying, Johnny.
0:36:48 > 0:36:50We'll keep moving on.
0:36:50 > 0:36:52Right, I need a doctor's help for this next question.
0:36:52 > 0:36:54Here is our doctor, Johnny.
0:36:54 > 0:36:56LAUGHTER
0:36:56 > 0:36:59Right, this is a pointer.
0:36:59 > 0:37:05What I'd like you to do, Johnny, is please point to the clavicle.
0:37:05 > 0:37:07The clavicle.
0:37:07 > 0:37:10Ooh, ooh...
0:37:10 > 0:37:13LAUGHTER
0:37:13 > 0:37:16Johnny, that is the wrong... Oh, little bit of help from Toni.
0:37:16 > 0:37:21- This one?- That's...the right answer. OK, thank you to the doctor.
0:37:21 > 0:37:24Johnny, this is an orang-utan.
0:37:24 > 0:37:28These primates are native to Indonesia and Malaysia
0:37:28 > 0:37:30and are the largest tree-dwelling animal
0:37:30 > 0:37:33in the world. LAUGHTER
0:37:33 > 0:37:34Come on in. He's a little bit shy.
0:37:36 > 0:37:40Right, so this is our orang-utan.
0:37:40 > 0:37:41He's quite friendly.
0:37:41 > 0:37:45No, don't go... No! Don't go under there.
0:37:45 > 0:37:47No, that's not OK. That's not allowed.
0:37:47 > 0:37:50All right, so, now, what I'd like you to do
0:37:50 > 0:37:53is try to beat the orang-utan, Johnny,
0:37:53 > 0:37:56in a simple game of rock, paper, scissors.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59Best of three. OK, one, two, three.
0:37:59 > 0:38:01Right, that is 1-0 to the orang-utan.
0:38:01 > 0:38:04He's quite strong. One, two, three.
0:38:04 > 0:38:07- Oh!- Oh, it's 2-0. Thank you. Oh!
0:38:07 > 0:38:09Thank you very much, orang-utan.
0:38:11 > 0:38:16OK, all right. He hit me a bit there on the face.
0:38:16 > 0:38:18Was that supposed to be part of it?
0:38:18 > 0:38:19Goodness me!
0:38:19 > 0:38:22Now, I would like you to sing the theme tune
0:38:22 > 0:38:26of the TV show that this person starred in.
0:38:27 > 0:38:29LAUGHTER
0:38:29 > 0:38:31Er, I can't tell you.
0:38:31 > 0:38:34- What's the show? - Dancing With The Stars.
0:38:34 > 0:38:37- No. Strictly Come Dancing. - That's it!
0:38:37 > 0:38:39Oh, God! What's the song?
0:38:39 > 0:38:42I'll start you off. # Da. #
0:38:42 > 0:38:46- LAUGHTER - # Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. #
0:38:46 > 0:38:51- No, that's not it, is it? - Keep going, Johnny.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54# Da, da, da, da, da, da... #
0:38:54 > 0:38:56# Da, da... # I don't know.
0:38:56 > 0:38:58# Da, da, da, da, da, da, da... #
0:38:58 > 0:39:00LAUGHTER
0:39:00 > 0:39:04# Da, da, da, da, da, da, da... #
0:39:04 > 0:39:06# Da, da, da... #
0:39:06 > 0:39:08LAUGHTER
0:39:08 > 0:39:09That's not it.
0:39:09 > 0:39:13Right, now, Johnny, after your success with that one,
0:39:13 > 0:39:15I'm now going to ask Ola to perform a dance
0:39:15 > 0:39:17and all you have to do is name the dance.
0:39:19 > 0:39:21Oh, cha-cha.
0:39:21 > 0:39:25- Keep guessing. That's very close. - Er, cancan.
0:39:25 > 0:39:27- Keep going, keep guessing, keep guessing.- The samba.
0:39:27 > 0:39:29Keep going, keep going.
0:39:29 > 0:39:32You're on fire, but it's actually the wrong answers.
0:39:32 > 0:39:34Keep going, keep guessing.
0:39:34 > 0:39:37- Oh, I know this. - She's absolutely exhausted!
0:39:37 > 0:39:39It does begin with C.
0:39:39 > 0:39:41Chive.
0:39:41 > 0:39:44That's a herb. LAUGHTER
0:39:44 > 0:39:46Cha-cha slide.
0:39:47 > 0:39:49Oh, go on.
0:39:49 > 0:39:51Seriously...
0:39:51 > 0:39:53- The Charle...- The Charleston!
0:39:53 > 0:39:55- Yeah!- That's the correct answer!
0:39:55 > 0:39:58Thank you very much, Ola Jordan. Stop the bedside clock.
0:40:06 > 0:40:10LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:40:11 > 0:40:12No.
0:40:16 > 0:40:19Maybe Michael McIntyre is like Santa and he's got a key to every house.
0:40:19 > 0:40:21Oh, God. I almost had a heart attack.
0:40:27 > 0:40:30LAUGHTER
0:40:44 > 0:40:47Oh, Johnny, congratulations.
0:40:47 > 0:40:49Thank you so, so much, Toni.
0:40:49 > 0:40:52Oh, first off, the biscuits.
0:40:52 > 0:40:54I mean, you were right in there.
0:40:54 > 0:40:57Right off, "Hobnob". You completely composed yourself.
0:40:57 > 0:41:00Were you having a dream about Hobnobs or something?
0:41:00 > 0:41:03- I love biscuits, so... - You love biscuits.- Yeah.
0:41:03 > 0:41:06That served you very well. Other than that, it was quite difficult.
0:41:06 > 0:41:08Did you think that was a real orang-utan?
0:41:08 > 0:41:11Yeah, it confused me. I didn't know what was going on.
0:41:11 > 0:41:15It was the middle of the night. So, since then, has it been all right?
0:41:15 > 0:41:17Has it been a bit tense at home?
0:41:17 > 0:41:19I woke up the next day and I was in the shower
0:41:19 > 0:41:22and I thought, "Was that a dream?" Cos Toni didn't wake up.
0:41:22 > 0:41:25And I came out the bathroom and said, "What happened last night?"
0:41:25 > 0:41:26And Toni was like, "What?"
0:41:26 > 0:41:29LAUGHTER
0:41:29 > 0:41:31It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship.
0:41:31 > 0:41:33I very much hope you enjoyed it.
0:41:33 > 0:41:35I can tell you, this is a game show,
0:41:35 > 0:41:41and you do qualify for our iconic bronze "Do not disturb" sign.
0:41:41 > 0:41:44You're one of the few people to own such a thing
0:41:44 > 0:41:48and, of course, we have an orang-utan for you
0:41:48 > 0:41:49to get you through the night.
0:41:49 > 0:41:54And your favourite dance, the chive. There you go.
0:41:54 > 0:41:58Ladies and gentlemen, it's Johnny and Toni
0:41:58 > 0:42:00on the Midnight Gameshow!
0:42:00 > 0:42:02Thank you so, so much.
0:42:02 > 0:42:04Brilliant, lovely to meet you. Thank you for coming.
0:42:04 > 0:42:08Brilliant. Johnny and Toni. Fantastic!
0:42:08 > 0:42:11APPLAUSE Oh, Johnny!
0:42:13 > 0:42:15Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
0:42:15 > 0:42:17one of Britain's funniest and grumpiest men.
0:42:17 > 0:42:20It's the hilarious, Jon Richardson's here!
0:42:20 > 0:42:23Come on, Johnny!
0:42:23 > 0:42:25CHEERING
0:42:29 > 0:42:31Hello, there.
0:42:31 > 0:42:35- CHEERING - Lovely. That was a bit TOO much.
0:42:35 > 0:42:37LAUGHTER
0:42:37 > 0:42:40Big couple of years for me, big couple of years. I got married.
0:42:40 > 0:42:43- CHEERING - Thank you.
0:42:43 > 0:42:45And then we got a bit comfortable.
0:42:45 > 0:42:47You get in that phase, after you've been with someone a while,
0:42:47 > 0:42:50you start to enjoy things. I thought we were getting a bit too much sleep
0:42:50 > 0:42:53and not arguing enough, so we had a child.
0:42:53 > 0:42:55LAUGHTER
0:42:55 > 0:42:58See now, obviously, having a child puts a lot of strain
0:42:58 > 0:43:01on the marriage, which is awkward, cos I feel that that's MY job.
0:43:03 > 0:43:06Cos, when you love someone, you want them to get things right, don't you?
0:43:06 > 0:43:09You want their lives to be perfect and that means, sometimes,
0:43:09 > 0:43:12you have to point out when they've done something incorrectly.
0:43:12 > 0:43:15I'm just picking the important ones, for the time being.
0:43:15 > 0:43:18Like for example, my wife doesn't watch television correctly.
0:43:18 > 0:43:20LAUGHTER
0:43:20 > 0:43:22It would seem so simple. How could you get that wrong?
0:43:22 > 0:43:25But she talks to me while it's on and that can't be right, can it?
0:43:28 > 0:43:31I can't hear that and you as well, can I, at the same time?
0:43:31 > 0:43:33She'll say something and I'll say, "Write it down.
0:43:33 > 0:43:36"What do you think that notepad's for there?"
0:43:36 > 0:43:38She's got one, I've got one.
0:43:38 > 0:43:41You write it down and we'll talk afterwards. That's better, isn't it?
0:43:41 > 0:43:43Very often, these issues resolve themselves.
0:43:43 > 0:43:46You're watching telly. "I wonder what car the killer drives,"
0:43:46 > 0:43:49and then you see it and go, "Oh, I can cross that one out now.
0:43:49 > 0:43:51"We've saved some time there, haven't we?"
0:43:52 > 0:43:55So, then I go into the kitchen to get a whisky or something like that.
0:43:55 > 0:43:58I go to the kitchen and I see the dishwasher's finished
0:43:58 > 0:43:59and then we have another problem
0:43:59 > 0:44:01because I have to empty the dishwasher.
0:44:01 > 0:44:04Emptying the dishwasher is one of those never tasks.
0:44:04 > 0:44:06Nobody quite does it. So, I think, "I can empty the dishwasher.
0:44:06 > 0:44:08"That's the fair thing I can do."
0:44:08 > 0:44:10So, I'll pull the door open, like that, pull the draw out.
0:44:10 > 0:44:14She very often comes down from bed then, cos she can hear me screaming.
0:44:14 > 0:44:17She'll say, "What's the problem, Jon? Is it a spider?"
0:44:17 > 0:44:19And I'll say, "No, it's the dishwasher again."
0:44:19 > 0:44:21She'll say, "You're joking," then we have to get comfortable
0:44:21 > 0:44:24while we go through all the mistakes she's made in there.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27And I'm trying to let it go, I really am, but this is important,
0:44:27 > 0:44:29isn't it, the dishwasher?
0:44:29 > 0:44:32If you don't wash dishes properly, you're trapping up chewed-up,
0:44:32 > 0:44:35mouldy old bits of food in a warm, damp box, very often overnight.
0:44:35 > 0:44:37You might as well just kill your family while they sleep.
0:44:39 > 0:44:41I have to talk her through all the things.
0:44:41 > 0:44:44She'll say, "What's the problem?" I'll say, "It's this upturned bowl
0:44:44 > 0:44:46"on the top shelf of the dishwasher there."
0:44:46 > 0:44:49Not really wrong to put a bowl on the top shelf
0:44:49 > 0:44:53of the dishwasher on a light load, on a light load, on a light load...
0:44:54 > 0:44:57- Malfunction. Light load. - LAUGHTER
0:44:57 > 0:44:58I couldn't help but notice
0:44:58 > 0:45:01you've put this upturned bowl on top of an upturned plate.
0:45:01 > 0:45:03LAUGHTER
0:45:03 > 0:45:05I really just wanted to ask
0:45:05 > 0:45:07how you thought that was ever going to get clean.
0:45:09 > 0:45:11There's nowhere for the water to get in, is there?
0:45:11 > 0:45:13There's only water in there, you know.
0:45:13 > 0:45:15You shut that door, water goes everywhere.
0:45:15 > 0:45:17You don't shut that door, and the back one swings open
0:45:17 > 0:45:19and little people come out with sponges.
0:45:19 > 0:45:22Give us a hand with this one, Barry. Eh!
0:45:22 > 0:45:24Look at the state of that. Unbelievable!
0:45:24 > 0:45:27I lift it up and say, "It's exactly as dirty as when it came in, look.
0:45:27 > 0:45:31"It's all covered in stuff, so we'll have to do that one again, won't we?
0:45:31 > 0:45:33"Well, this plate, I know the underside is clean but...
0:45:33 > 0:45:36"No, where are you going? I'll tell you when I'm finished.
0:45:38 > 0:45:40"Sorry? Oh, we're both tired!"
0:45:41 > 0:45:43Unbelievable!
0:45:43 > 0:45:46You think I enjoy this at three o'clock in the morning, do you?
0:45:48 > 0:45:50This, I'm afraid, is where I've had to fail you.
0:45:50 > 0:45:53It's the bread knife in the cutlery tray.
0:45:53 > 0:45:56Of course, it's called a knife. It sounds like cutlery, doesn't it?
0:45:56 > 0:45:57But if you'll squat down with me,
0:45:57 > 0:46:00you'll see it's too tall to go underneath, isn't it?
0:46:00 > 0:46:03It's stopped the propeller going round there, hasn't it?
0:46:03 > 0:46:06You've shut the door, the propeller has smashed into the bread knife,
0:46:06 > 0:46:10spent 108 minutes washing the heck out of everything on this axis.
0:46:11 > 0:46:14Everything on this line, I absolutely can't fault you with.
0:46:14 > 0:46:15That's absolutely perfect.
0:46:15 > 0:46:19I'm afraid the rest of it has been a complete waste of both...
0:46:19 > 0:46:21I wonder when she left. I didn't hear the door.
0:46:22 > 0:46:25Thank you very much. Enjoy the rest of the show. Thank you very much.
0:46:25 > 0:46:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:46:28 > 0:46:31Yay! Jon Richardson, ladies and gentlemen.
0:46:31 > 0:46:34Thank you so much. Brilliant. Thank you very much, Jon Richardson.
0:46:39 > 0:46:43Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to play Send To All. Who's up for that?
0:46:43 > 0:46:45CHEERING
0:46:45 > 0:46:47Yes, the time has come to find out
0:46:47 > 0:46:51what replies Miranda Hart has got
0:46:51 > 0:46:54from the text that we sent out earlier.
0:46:54 > 0:46:59Let's remind ourselves of the text. The text was...
0:47:22 > 0:47:27"Kiss, kiss." That was sent from your phone earlier tonight.
0:47:27 > 0:47:30- Thank you for that. - And so much has been going on.
0:47:30 > 0:47:33We will start with Clare Balding, ladies and gentlemen.
0:47:33 > 0:47:37Clare Balding. She started with the word "Dogs".
0:47:37 > 0:47:40"Dogs." She's giving you dogs as a conversation starter.
0:47:40 > 0:47:45She goes, "Dogs. Dogs are always a conversation winner.
0:47:45 > 0:47:49"Skiing or tax evasion are your other options.
0:47:51 > 0:47:54"Check your shoes for loo paper
0:47:54 > 0:47:57"and don't leave your pants showing. Now..."
0:47:57 > 0:48:00In capitals. "..GET BACK OUT THERE, GIRL."
0:48:00 > 0:48:03Very good start.
0:48:03 > 0:48:04Very good.
0:48:04 > 0:48:07APPLAUSE
0:48:08 > 0:48:12- Nick Dance? - Oh, Nick Dance is a choreographer.
0:48:14 > 0:48:16Oh, that's not his name. He just does dance.
0:48:16 > 0:48:19"Maybe change your silent ones to loud."
0:48:20 > 0:48:23Lovely ending. "That'll break the ice."
0:48:23 > 0:48:25LAUGHTER
0:48:25 > 0:48:28All right. Amelia Physio.
0:48:28 > 0:48:31She's Amelia and she's a physio.
0:48:31 > 0:48:33LAUGHTER
0:48:33 > 0:48:37"Blessings, that is absolutely hilarious." Crying emoji.
0:48:37 > 0:48:39"What competition did that person win
0:48:39 > 0:48:41"to end up sitting next to the President of Switzerland?"
0:48:41 > 0:48:44LAUGHTER
0:48:44 > 0:48:48"Are you sure they didn't lose the competition instead?"
0:48:49 > 0:48:52- It's a good point. It's a good point.- It's a very good one
0:48:52 > 0:48:54from Amelia Physio.
0:48:54 > 0:48:57- OK, Geri Halliwell. - Oh, right.- Spice Girl.- Yeah.
0:48:57 > 0:49:01- Big friends with Geri?- Um... - Exchanged numbers.- Yeah, exactly.
0:49:01 > 0:49:03In fact, I can tell you, this is the first time
0:49:03 > 0:49:08you've texted each other and she's straight in, trying to help out.
0:49:08 > 0:49:11"Ask him about his family. Does he have children?
0:49:11 > 0:49:14"People love talking about themselves. Where did he grow up?
0:49:14 > 0:49:18"Make it about them. They're probably nervous. And be kind."
0:49:18 > 0:49:22- AUDIENCE:- Aw!- Very nice.- Very, very sweet. Very sweet from Geri.
0:49:22 > 0:49:25All right. Ben Gardener. He's your gardener?
0:49:25 > 0:49:29- Ben Gardener does some gardening. - LAUGHTER
0:49:29 > 0:49:31- How many gardens have you got?- One.
0:49:31 > 0:49:33It's just that it says Ben Gardener Sussex.
0:49:33 > 0:49:35- I was wondering...- Oh, I see.
0:49:35 > 0:49:37- No, it's cos he's based in Sussex. - Oh, OK.
0:49:37 > 0:49:42I just have a couple of bushes in London that needs trimming.
0:49:42 > 0:49:44- A couple of London bushes. - That needs trimming.
0:49:44 > 0:49:47And you like to haul him in from Sussex to trim them.
0:49:47 > 0:49:51- He is a friend from Sussex and up he comes to trim my bush.- OK.
0:49:51 > 0:49:55LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:49:55 > 0:49:58He's texted in just a really bad joke.
0:49:58 > 0:50:02He's just put, "What did the traffic light say to the car?
0:50:02 > 0:50:05"Don't look I'm changing." That's his response.
0:50:08 > 0:50:11OK, he maybe might want to stick to the bushes.
0:50:12 > 0:50:17All right. Oh, the wonderful Richard Curtis, a huge one.
0:50:17 > 0:50:20He's a writer. You can sense that from the text.
0:50:20 > 0:50:21OK, here goes.
0:50:21 > 0:50:24He's actually started with "Here goes." He's loved that.
0:50:24 > 0:50:27He's got the text and gone, "I'm going to do some writing.
0:50:27 > 0:50:31"I'm going to help her out. Darling, Miranda's in trouble.
0:50:31 > 0:50:33"She's at Buck Pal.
0:50:33 > 0:50:35"She's stuck in the loo and I'm going to help her."
0:50:35 > 0:50:40"Here goes. Switzerland even nicer in summer than winter. True?"
0:50:40 > 0:50:43That's a good question. For the competition winner, he's gone,
0:50:43 > 0:50:45"Competition winner - how did you win?
0:50:47 > 0:50:50"Surely you're the kind of person who loves my show."
0:50:50 > 0:50:51Back to Switzerland.
0:50:51 > 0:50:54"I believe you have a complex government system. Explain it to me.
0:50:54 > 0:50:57"Is a Swiss roll actually Swiss?
0:50:58 > 0:51:03"Are the Swiss Family Robinson famous in Switzerland or only here?"
0:51:03 > 0:51:07Back to the competition winner. "Do you know the Vicar Of Dibley?"
0:51:10 > 0:51:14Thanks, Rich. Oh, it's another long one!
0:51:14 > 0:51:18- Stephen Fry. Stephen Fry! AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:51:18 > 0:51:21I love challenging all these very, very clever, funny people.
0:51:21 > 0:51:25He's opened with, "Oh, Lordy. Oh, Lordy.
0:51:25 > 0:51:30"You can tell them that I had a friend who pinched a teaspoon,
0:51:30 > 0:51:32"thinking it would make a fine memento.
0:51:32 > 0:51:35"A week later, someone called himself
0:51:35 > 0:51:38"the Yeoman of the Plate Pantry wrote to her saying,
0:51:38 > 0:51:41"'We believe you may have
0:51:41 > 0:51:47"'inadvertently left in possession of one of Her Majesty's spoons.
0:51:47 > 0:51:50"'Perhaps you would be kind enough to send it back
0:51:50 > 0:51:55"'in the enclosed package.' So, no souvenir snitching." Four kisses.
0:51:55 > 0:51:57- Very good.- Sweet.
0:51:57 > 0:52:01That's such a lovely way to treat someone who's stolen from you.
0:52:01 > 0:52:03Russell Howard.
0:52:03 > 0:52:07"Why do the Swiss put bells on their cows?"
0:52:07 > 0:52:09LAUGHTER
0:52:09 > 0:52:12- Very good from Russell Howard. - That's a good one.
0:52:12 > 0:52:16All right, somebody called Pussy. Who's Pussy?
0:52:16 > 0:52:17Oh, you're Pussy.
0:52:17 > 0:52:21You've texted your sister who's sitting next to you.
0:52:21 > 0:52:26I call my sister Pussy from... Oh, I'm so embarrassed.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30..from a beloved cat, when we were about nine or ten.
0:52:30 > 0:52:33And even more embarrassingly, she calls ME Pussy.
0:52:33 > 0:52:36We both call each other Pussy.
0:52:36 > 0:52:39"All I can say is, you are the most perfect, beautiful
0:52:39 > 0:52:42"and wonderful person and they should be grate..." What?
0:52:43 > 0:52:46It might have been because I texted that.
0:52:46 > 0:52:49LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:52:53 > 0:52:58Miranda Hart has just won Send To All, ladies and gentlemen!
0:53:00 > 0:53:01Very clever.
0:53:01 > 0:53:05It says, "You are off-the-scale amazing."
0:53:05 > 0:53:07- Oh, stop it.- Ladies and gentlemen, what absolute fun.
0:53:07 > 0:53:10Thank you so, so much for agreeing to do this.
0:53:10 > 0:53:14It's the brilliant and wonderful Miranda Hart, ladies and gentlemen!
0:53:14 > 0:53:17CHEERING Thank you so much, Miranda.
0:53:17 > 0:53:18Thanks, Pussy.
0:53:21 > 0:53:23Earlier tonight, ladies and gentlemen,
0:53:23 > 0:53:27we surprised Ciara, who thought she was coming to the Grand Hotel,
0:53:27 > 0:53:30but instead got the surprise of her life.
0:53:30 > 0:53:34Let's take a little look at how Ciara has been getting on
0:53:34 > 0:53:36since that massive surprise backstage.
0:53:40 > 0:53:44So, I was going for a weekend away with my boyfriend
0:53:44 > 0:53:48and had a very strange experience in reception.
0:53:48 > 0:53:53And then we walked into the room and the wall opens.
0:53:53 > 0:53:57There was like thousands of people and my family and friends are here.
0:53:57 > 0:54:01- I just thought what the, what the hell?- Well done.
0:54:01 > 0:54:03SHE MOUTHS
0:54:04 > 0:54:07Well done. Ciara, hello. Welcome.
0:54:07 > 0:54:10When Ciara first came in, she was very nervous, in shock.
0:54:10 > 0:54:12I'm not actually a crier.
0:54:12 > 0:54:15As long as we can keep her calm, get her into it, then she'll be great.
0:54:15 > 0:54:16Ciara's a doctor
0:54:16 > 0:54:18and she's used to high-pressure situations,
0:54:18 > 0:54:20but this is totally different.
0:54:20 > 0:54:22She's in front of an audience, so the stakes are high.
0:54:22 > 0:54:25It's a dream of mine to sing on stage.
0:54:25 > 0:54:27Tonight will definitely be up there.
0:54:29 > 0:54:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Ladies and gentlemen,
0:54:31 > 0:54:36please welcome our Unexpected Star of tonight's show.
0:54:36 > 0:54:39It's Dr Ciara!
0:54:39 > 0:54:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:54:52 > 0:54:55# On my own
0:54:55 > 0:55:00# Pretending he's beside me
0:55:02 > 0:55:05# All alone
0:55:05 > 0:55:10# I walk with him till morning
0:55:12 > 0:55:14# Without him
0:55:14 > 0:55:20# I feel his arms around me
0:55:20 > 0:55:24# And when I lose my way I close my eyes
0:55:24 > 0:55:26# And he has found me
0:55:28 > 0:55:31# And I know
0:55:31 > 0:55:36# It's only in my mind
0:55:36 > 0:55:40# That I'm talking to myself
0:55:40 > 0:55:43# And not to him
0:55:44 > 0:55:46# And although
0:55:46 > 0:55:52# I know that he is blind
0:55:52 > 0:55:56# Still I say
0:55:56 > 0:55:59# There's a way for us
0:56:00 > 0:56:02# I love him
0:56:02 > 0:56:07# But when the night is over
0:56:07 > 0:56:09# He is gone
0:56:09 > 0:56:14# The river's just a river
0:56:16 > 0:56:17# Without him
0:56:17 > 0:56:22# The world around me changes
0:56:22 > 0:56:29# The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers
0:56:29 > 0:56:31# I love him
0:56:31 > 0:56:36# But every day I'm learning
0:56:36 > 0:56:39# All my life
0:56:39 > 0:56:45# I've only been pretending
0:56:45 > 0:56:47# Without me
0:56:47 > 0:56:51# His world will go on turning
0:56:51 > 0:56:53# A world that's full of happiness
0:56:53 > 0:57:00# That I have never known... #
0:57:00 > 0:57:04APPLAUSE
0:57:04 > 0:57:06# I love him
0:57:08 > 0:57:11# I love him
0:57:13 > 0:57:15# I love him
0:57:15 > 0:57:20# But only on my
0:57:21 > 0:57:27# Own. #
0:57:27 > 0:57:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:57:39 > 0:57:44Ladies and gentlemen, our Unexpected Star of tonight's show, it's Ciara.
0:57:46 > 0:57:49Come on, Simon. Come on, mum, come up and see her.
0:57:49 > 0:57:53And, of course, we remember romantic weekend Simon. Look at that.
0:57:53 > 0:57:57Does she still love him? Go and find out.
0:57:57 > 0:58:00APPLAUSE
0:58:01 > 0:58:03This is incredible. Go and give her a hug.
0:58:05 > 0:58:09Amazing, amazing. Thank you. Oh, you're all up.
0:58:09 > 0:58:12All the doctors are here.
0:58:16 > 0:58:20And the big question is, how do you still feel about this chap,
0:58:20 > 0:58:22- after doing all this for you today? - I think I'll forgive him.
0:58:22 > 0:58:25You were sensational and it was an absolute treat
0:58:25 > 0:58:27- for us to hear you sing tonight. - Thank you.
0:58:27 > 0:58:30Thank you so much for bringing her down. Thank you so much.
0:58:30 > 0:58:33- Thank you.- Now, the problem is, of course...- Yes.
0:58:33 > 0:58:36You don't have anywhere to stay tonight!
0:58:37 > 0:58:42- Oh, yeah! - I'm sure we'll sort that out.
0:58:42 > 0:58:44Ladies and gentlemen, please, one more time,
0:58:44 > 0:58:46for the Unexpected Star of tonight's show,
0:58:46 > 0:58:49the absolutely sensational Ciara.
0:58:49 > 0:58:51And thank you so much to Simon for getting her here.
0:58:51 > 0:58:54And Liz, her mum, and the doctors.
0:58:54 > 0:58:57Thank you, doctors. Thank you so much for coming.
0:58:57 > 0:58:58Good night, bravo!
0:58:58 > 0:59:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:59:01 > 0:59:03If you know somebody you'd like to nominate
0:59:03 > 0:59:07to be an Unexpected Star of the show for the next series
0:59:07 > 0:59:10or, in fact, want to nominate someone for any surprise,
0:59:10 > 0:59:15please go to bbc.co.uk/bigshow for all the details.