0:00:20 > 0:00:23Ladies and gentlemen,
0:00:23 > 0:00:28please give a big, Edinburgh welcome to Michael McIntyre.
0:00:28 > 0:00:29APPLAUSE
0:00:33 > 0:00:34Look at this!
0:00:36 > 0:00:37Look at this!
0:00:40 > 0:00:43Good evening ladies and gentlemen.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Welcome to my comedy roadshow!
0:00:51 > 0:00:56Tonight, I'll be introducing my favourite stand-up comedians,
0:00:56 > 0:01:00right here in my favourite city of them all. It's Edinburgh!
0:01:00 > 0:01:02CHEERING
0:01:05 > 0:01:07How are you? Are you all right?
0:01:10 > 0:01:13Just by way of applause, who's actually Scottish?
0:01:13 > 0:01:14THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE
0:01:20 > 0:01:26I don't think, seriously, there's anyone anyone more patriotic in the world than the Scots.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30You are tremendously patriotic, would you agree with that?
0:01:30 > 0:01:32ENTHUSIASTIC APPLAUSE
0:01:32 > 0:01:36Nobody loves Scotland like you, really.
0:01:36 > 0:01:37It's unbelievable.
0:01:37 > 0:01:42I love the way that you take things that aren't Scottish and make them Scottish.
0:01:42 > 0:01:43Like the egg, for example.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47We all know what eggs are. Some of you may have had eggs today. I'd eggs this morning.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51You've taken the egg, put a bit of bread crumbs on it, that's a Scotch egg!
0:01:51 > 0:01:54- SCOTTISH ACCENT - That's our egg, yeah!
0:01:55 > 0:01:57We don't need your English bald eggs.
0:01:57 > 0:02:02We've got egg and bread in a handy testicle shaped snack, eh?
0:02:02 > 0:02:06What's that you've got there, tape?
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Put some tartan packaging on that tape.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11That's Scotch tape.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14That's our tape, that's the best tape.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18None of your Sello-bullshit-tape.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Every morning I wake up,
0:02:22 > 0:02:25my Braveheart alarm clock, "Freedom!" That's me.
0:02:29 > 0:02:33A couple of Scotch eggs, juggle them for a bit.
0:02:33 > 0:02:34Play some hopscotch, why not?
0:02:37 > 0:02:40Dip them in butterscotch, read the Scotsman.
0:02:40 > 0:02:46Have a glass of Scotch, get on the Flying Scotsman, head down to London, tell them all to piss off.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53Another couple of Scotch eggs, a bit more Butterscotch,
0:02:53 > 0:02:56maybe chat up a Scottish Widow on the train.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Break into the Royal Bank Of Scotland,
0:03:01 > 0:03:07steal some Scottish money and after the thorough investigation from Scotland Yard, get off scot-free.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Can you imagine a better day?
0:03:14 > 0:03:16So, it's nice to be here.
0:03:16 > 0:03:20I was told before I came out that there was a gentleman who had to be moved
0:03:20 > 0:03:23because he couldn't fit into his seat.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27I said, "Can you point him out?" And they said, "You'll see him."
0:03:31 > 0:03:34I believe your name is Gregor Edmonds, is that right?
0:03:34 > 0:03:39- And you're like the strongest man in history, would that be correct? - Not quite, no.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43Not quite? There's God, then there's me!
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Ladies and gentlemen, it's Gregor Edmonds!
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Be honest with me, how many Shredded Wheat do you eat a day?
0:03:56 > 0:04:03I'm disappointed you're not in your big Highland games gear, because I'd expect you to be permanently in it.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06I love the kilt. Is anybody actually in a kilt tonight?
0:04:06 > 0:04:07LAUGHTER
0:04:07 > 0:04:10It's not a special occasion, I understand that.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12It's not a special occasion, but I do love it.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16I don't really know how it was invented, I've got of theory on this.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20I think it's basically been created to be as opposite to English people as possible.
0:04:20 > 0:04:24I think at some stage during history, Scottish people got together
0:04:24 > 0:04:27and said, "Today we're going to design the Scot, aw right?"
0:04:27 > 0:04:32The theory on this is we're going to have him as opposite to English people as is humanly possible.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35I've been down there and it's not pretty, it's not pretty!
0:04:35 > 0:04:39They're wearing trousers. So, we're going to open with a skirt.
0:04:41 > 0:04:42Modelling it here is...Scott.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45Are you all right, Scott? I'm all right.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49But you've got me in a skirt. I'm not happy about that.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51You've got to hear me out, all right?
0:04:51 > 0:04:54They have plain black trousers down there, all right?
0:04:54 > 0:04:56So we're going to go with the multi-coloured skirt.
0:04:56 > 0:05:00In fact, every family, a different colour. You aw right?
0:05:00 > 0:05:02I'm prepared to listen.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Fine. They've got little black socks.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07We're going to go with the long white hockey sock.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10How are you feeling?
0:05:10 > 0:05:13I'm feeling peculiar, if I'm honest with you.
0:05:13 > 0:05:17Unfortunately, I've been down there and they're all in underpants.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19According to the rules,
0:05:19 > 0:05:21there can be no pants, Scott.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Are you out of your bloody mind, eh?
0:05:24 > 0:05:28You've got me standing here in hockey socks and a skirt with my balls hanging out?!
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Are you sure you've thought this through?
0:05:30 > 0:05:32I've done my best!
0:05:32 > 0:05:34What about pockets? Can I have pockets?
0:05:34 > 0:05:36I mean, I've got to put my money...
0:05:36 > 0:05:39I've got good Scottish money, it's very strong right now, the currency.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43It's £1 to the pound, where am I gonna put it? Can I have pockets?
0:05:43 > 0:05:47I'm sorry, English people have pockets. It's not acceptable to have pockets.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49What am I going to do, just carry it around?
0:05:49 > 0:05:52No, no, we're going to have a bag.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54A bag?
0:05:54 > 0:05:55Are you out of your mind?!
0:05:55 > 0:05:59I'm already in hockey socks with my balls hanging out and multi-coloured skirt.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03Now, you want me walking around the the handbag? It's not on!
0:06:03 > 0:06:04It's not going to be a handbag.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06It better not be, because that's girlie.
0:06:06 > 0:06:11It's no girlie. We've done everything we can to masculinise the bag.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13It's going to be a cock bag.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Are you serious?!
0:06:18 > 0:06:22You want me walking around in long white hockey socks with my balls hanging out,
0:06:22 > 0:06:26with a multi-coloured skirt and a cock bag?
0:06:26 > 0:06:29It's still girly, it's still girly to have a bag. I dinnae care.
0:06:29 > 0:06:35We've done our absolute utmost to address the situation and it's going to be hairy.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41It's a hairy cock bag. Are you all right with that?
0:06:41 > 0:06:44I suppose I'm all right with that but what if people take the pish?
0:06:44 > 0:06:48I thought of that. You can have a knife in your sock, all right?
0:06:48 > 0:06:49APPLAUSE
0:06:54 > 0:06:59Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to introduce to you some...literally my favourite comedians around.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01This is going to be a great show.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Are you in the mood for a great show?
0:07:03 > 0:07:04YES!
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Ladies and gentlemen,
0:07:06 > 0:07:12it is my absolute pleasure to welcome one of the leading young lights of Scottish comedy,
0:07:12 > 0:07:16please give all your love to the wonderful, Kevin Bridges.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18APPLAUSE
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Thank you, good evening.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Good to be here at the Comedy Roadshow.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36I thought, maybe start off with a joke.
0:07:36 > 0:07:43So I seen a sign that said, "Have you seen this man?"
0:07:43 > 0:07:45So I phoned up and I said, "No."
0:07:51 > 0:07:54It's something to do, innit?
0:07:56 > 0:07:59I might be a few things but I'm not a grass.
0:08:03 > 0:08:07So, it's good to be in Edinburgh. I'm actually from Glasgow myself.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09SOME CHEERING
0:08:09 > 0:08:12Thank you. We very much get a reputation,
0:08:12 > 0:08:18the city of Glasgow was recently announced as Europe's murder capital.
0:08:19 > 0:08:24But also voted the UK's friendliest city.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29In the same week.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32We got our act together, pronto.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36You might get the shite kicked out of you,
0:08:36 > 0:08:39but you'll get directions to the hospital.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Nice people.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51A bit mental, but a friendly mental.
0:08:53 > 0:08:57I always remember my first ever altercation with a friendly madman.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00It was about midnight.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04I was standing at a bus stop, waiting on a bus.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09That's the way I play the game, right?
0:09:12 > 0:09:14That's how I roll.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19At the bus stop, waiting on a bus, two people sat beside me.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22They were doing something similar.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Everybody was having a good time.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31Sounds a bit far fetched, but it's based on a true story.
0:09:31 > 0:09:37So everybody's there, getting their bus stop on, when a friendly mad man showed up.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41A guy, he was across the road, and he shouted, "Hoy, you!
0:09:41 > 0:09:44"Hoy, You. Aye, you."
0:09:45 > 0:09:53Now, when you're at a bus stop at midnight, and somebody instigates a conversation...
0:09:54 > 0:09:56..with "Hoy, you!
0:09:56 > 0:09:59"Hoy, you. Aye, you."
0:09:59 > 0:10:02You kinda shite yourself.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11And you try and keep your head down, right?
0:10:11 > 0:10:15And then the guy shouts, "Hoy, fat boy.
0:10:16 > 0:10:17"Fatty."
0:10:18 > 0:10:23And, well, I'm standing there, and I'm looking at the two people...
0:10:24 > 0:10:26..trying to figure out their BMI.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38Cos one of us is about to become a statistic, right?
0:10:40 > 0:10:46But beside me were just these two big skinny pensioner types.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Cool. This one must be for me.
0:10:52 > 0:10:59And the guy said "Fat boy, give me a quid, or you're getting stabbed".
0:11:01 > 0:11:03I thought, "A quid?
0:11:03 > 0:11:06"That's quite reasonable."
0:11:10 > 0:11:13Panic over. I mean...
0:11:13 > 0:11:14I've never been stabbed,
0:11:14 > 0:11:18but I can imagine it would be somewhat inconvenient.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22Maybe even put a dampener on your evening. You'd be covered in blood.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25You'd need to go to a hospital to get stitches.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29You'd be physically and emotionally traumatised.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31And here,
0:11:31 > 0:11:33we've got a gentleman...
0:11:35 > 0:11:38..offering me the chance
0:11:38 > 0:11:41to bypass such a horrendous ordeal...
0:11:43 > 0:11:46..in this current financial climate...
0:11:48 > 0:11:51..for a mere pound.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54Now, I'm a sucker for a bargain, so...
0:11:54 > 0:11:55APPLAUSE
0:12:01 > 0:12:05In Edinburgh, you're talking at least a fiver, aren't you?
0:12:05 > 0:12:09Is everybody having a good credit crunch, everybody?
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Everybody enjoying it? I don't really know what happened.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15I just remember everything just became really expensive.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19You're never asked any questions, you just get charged astronomical prices,
0:12:19 > 0:12:22just to be told, "Yeah, that's the credit crunch."
0:12:22 > 0:12:23But the final straw
0:12:23 > 0:12:27for me, I was in a shop, and I was buying a packet of Bikers...
0:12:29 > 0:12:33..a packet of Space Raiders...
0:12:34 > 0:12:36..and a packet of Johnny's Onion Rings.
0:12:38 > 0:12:42Does anybody know the collective term for these kind of crisps?
0:12:42 > 0:12:44- 10p.- Exactly.
0:12:44 > 0:12:49Now, imagine my shock when the guy asked me for 45 pence.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57Now, when 10p crisps are costing 15p,
0:12:57 > 0:13:00that's when I began to take an interest in economics.
0:13:05 > 0:13:09That's when I started watching Bloomberg and reading the Financial Times
0:13:09 > 0:13:13and whether the FTSE's up or the Dow Jones, who knows what that means?
0:13:13 > 0:13:15But soon we'll be paying a quid for a Chomp.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21APPLAUSE
0:13:24 > 0:13:30See, I was never rich. I don't come from a wealthy background, but I don't come from a poor background.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32I was always the in-between guy.
0:13:32 > 0:13:37Remember the first day back at school after the summer holidays,
0:13:37 > 0:13:41that was the day you found out what class you were in.
0:13:41 > 0:13:42I don't mean educationally.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46I mean socially.
0:13:46 > 0:13:53I was never one of the rich kids that would come strolling in and have a suntan,
0:13:53 > 0:13:55and a new school bag.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58But I was never one of the ones that would come in with a black eye
0:13:58 > 0:14:00and a new second name.
0:14:10 > 0:14:16You'd ask your teacher, "Sir, how come Jamie Cosgrove's now called Jamie De La Cruz?"
0:14:19 > 0:14:21"That's because his mum's a dirty."
0:14:25 > 0:14:27Thank you! That's all from me.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30ENTHUSIASTIC APPLAUSE
0:14:34 > 0:14:37Kevin Bridges, ladies and gentlemen, Kevin Bridges.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Kevin Bridges!
0:14:40 > 0:14:41Fantastic.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45I've been here a couple of days.
0:14:45 > 0:14:50I know there's a bit of an atmosphere in the city. I don't necessarily want to bring it up.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52In fact, I said to myself, "Don't bring it up,"
0:14:52 > 0:14:54but here I am bringing it up.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56How's the tram panning out?
0:14:58 > 0:15:03Don't get into a taxi and ask that question. It's quite terrifying!
0:15:03 > 0:15:05"BLOODY tram!
0:15:05 > 0:15:09"NOBODY wants it! Nobody wants it!
0:15:10 > 0:15:17"Not one person has ever waited for a bus and said, 'Couldn't this be on rails?' Nobody!"
0:15:19 > 0:15:20It goes up and down.
0:15:20 > 0:15:25Every time you get into a taxi, a driver will have a higher price
0:15:25 > 0:15:28for how much it's costing. "It's costing £17 billion".
0:15:28 > 0:15:31"It's costing £82 trillion."
0:15:31 > 0:15:34"It's costing £914 gazillion!"
0:15:35 > 0:15:41"For the money it's costing, they should build an identical Edinburgh next to Edinburgh."
0:15:41 > 0:15:43That's what somebody said to me.
0:15:43 > 0:15:44What kind of logic is this?
0:15:45 > 0:15:50"It goes from Leith to the airport. From Leith to the airport!
0:15:50 > 0:15:53"People in Leith dinnae bloody go on holiday!"
0:15:59 > 0:16:04"It's just like Parliament all over again. It's just like Parliament all over again.
0:16:04 > 0:16:09"Same thing, up in value, 400 million, 7 billion zillion".
0:16:09 > 0:16:13But at least they got it finished, the Parliament building, which I've seen, by the way.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Is a strange concoction.
0:16:15 > 0:16:16Looks like Tarzan's house.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20Are you pleased with this? What was the thinking behind it?
0:16:20 > 0:16:24Did they have a meeting, "If we're going to have a political hub in Edinburgh,
0:16:24 > 0:16:28"we'd better make sure that we've got our defences sorted out.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30"It might be a high risk for security,
0:16:30 > 0:16:33"what with the present environment.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37"Anybody got any ideas how we should defend ourselves?"
0:16:38 > 0:16:40"How about bamboo?
0:16:43 > 0:16:46"We'll just have big bamboo pillars.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49"Al-Qaeda cannae squeeze through there!
0:16:50 > 0:16:52"They'd get their beards caught in it!"
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for my next guest?
0:16:58 > 0:16:59Yes!
0:17:00 > 0:17:02We are so lucky to have this man here.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04I love this guy. You'll love him too.
0:17:04 > 0:17:08Give all your love for the wonderful talent, Mr Stewart Francis!
0:17:08 > 0:17:12# Take me on a trip I'd like to go some day
0:17:12 > 0:17:15# Take me to New York I'd love to see LA... #
0:17:15 > 0:17:16NORTH AMERICAN ACCENT: Oh, man.
0:17:16 > 0:17:20Thank you very much.
0:17:20 > 0:17:21My name is Stewart Francis.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Don't worry, I haven't heard of you either.
0:17:26 > 0:17:27I'm getting used to it.
0:17:27 > 0:17:32In a world full of patronising insincerity,
0:17:32 > 0:17:34it is so nice...
0:17:35 > 0:17:38..to be back in my beautiful home town.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Edinberg.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49So many people are jumping
0:17:49 > 0:17:53on the Barack Obama bandwagon, which, as an African-American...
0:17:53 > 0:17:54LAUGHTER
0:17:59 > 0:18:01..really offends me.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07No, you're looking at a very proud Canadian
0:18:07 > 0:18:11who's very proud of the education system in Canadia, I think.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18I think it's the goodest of all 17 countries.
0:18:22 > 0:18:26No, I was horrible in school. I failed math so many times, I can't even count.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30I was good at history.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32No.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37No, I wasn't.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39So long ago.
0:18:41 > 0:18:47I preferred French over chemistry because the chemistry teacher and I just didn't have any, um...
0:18:51 > 0:18:52..rapport.
0:18:55 > 0:19:00Sadly as a Canadian, I don't speak French. Such is life.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05As a kid, my fairy godmother
0:19:05 > 0:19:09asked me if I wanted a long penis or a long memory. I forget my response.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21Like most Canadians, I like to go clubbing,
0:19:21 > 0:19:23but if there's no seals around...
0:19:26 > 0:19:28..I go dancing.
0:19:28 > 0:19:32Last night I went to a dance club that was full of white kids talking black.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Got so annoying, I finally left.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38Besides, daylight come and me want to go home.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44I quit my job at the helium gas factory.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47I refused to be spoken to in that tone.
0:19:50 > 0:19:51That's the thing, my friends.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53I'm a one-liner comedian.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55I'm not a storyteller.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58Interesting how that all started...
0:19:59 > 0:20:02We all have bittersweet memories of our childhood.
0:20:02 > 0:20:07I recall one summer when the neighbourhood parents were buying their children skateboards.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09It was the rage at the time. Except for my parents.
0:20:09 > 0:20:14They told me we were too poor and that they couldn't afford to buy me a skateboard.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17But I remember one night I tippy-toed out of my bedroom,
0:20:17 > 0:20:19got a piece of wood and a hammer, and I beat them to death.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30My foster parents bought me five skateboards.
0:20:32 > 0:20:36My sexual fantasy is to make love to Sigmund Freud's father...mother!
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Nobody wants to be alone.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47A recently divorced friend of mine is hopeful of once again finding romance.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Beer-bellied, completely bald...
0:20:49 > 0:20:50I don't like her chances.
0:20:52 > 0:20:57You've got to be careful. I was involved in a one-night stand that went horribly wrong.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00We've been married three years now.
0:21:01 > 0:21:06They say opposites attract, but try explaining that to my short, ugly wife.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09No, my wife is beautiful.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11She has an ass like J-Lo.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13No, Jell-O.
0:21:20 > 0:21:21And I'm not ashamed of my wife.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25If you don't believe me, go to the car and ask her.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Ask her loud, she's in the boot.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Is my wife dissatisfied with my body?
0:21:34 > 0:21:36A tiny part of me says yes.
0:21:40 > 0:21:44No, I'm not married. If I was married, would I be able to do this?
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Exactly. No, I've got a girlfriend.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56I've been going out with my girlfriend for...
0:21:56 > 0:21:57sex.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05You up for sex? No?
0:22:06 > 0:22:09I love to go to bookstores and say to the clerk, "Hello,
0:22:09 > 0:22:14"I'm looking for a book titled, How To Deal With Rejection Without Killing.
0:22:18 > 0:22:19"Do you have it?"
0:22:23 > 0:22:30Irony, that's one thing I truly do respect about you people here in...Scotland.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32You get irony, and it's everywhere.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Sharon Osbourne judges talent.
0:22:35 > 0:22:36HE SNIGGERS
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Yeah! Irony.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43There's a paper in Scotland called The Sun.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Oh, dear. Oh, dear me.
0:22:47 > 0:22:51A lot of people accuse me of taking the audience for granted,
0:22:51 > 0:22:54and I'd like to address that before I get to the standing ovation.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56LAUGHTER
0:22:57 > 0:22:59I knew you'd like that joke.
0:22:59 > 0:23:06I hope you guys are doing OK. Moneywise, I'm set for life, provided I die next Tuesday.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10I'm trying to become the most famous person in my neighbourhood.
0:23:10 > 0:23:15A guy in my neighbourhood is in the Guinness Book Of Records. He's had 43 concussions.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18He lives very close, just a stone's throw away, but the point...
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Some of you recognise that,
0:23:23 > 0:23:27whereas most of you are looking at me, thinking, "Is this shit funny in Canada?"
0:23:29 > 0:23:32No, it's not. That's why I'm here.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37I love you, Edinburgh. Cheerio the noo!
0:23:37 > 0:23:39ENTHUSIASTIC APPLAUSE
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Stewart Francis, ladies and gentlemen, fantastic!
0:23:45 > 0:23:48We love Stewart Francis!
0:23:56 > 0:23:59I keep catching the eye of Michelle McManus,
0:23:59 > 0:24:01winner of Pop Idol, Michelle McManus!
0:24:01 > 0:24:04APPLAUSE
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Who voted on the phone for Michelle?
0:24:06 > 0:24:07CHEERING
0:24:07 > 0:24:10You've got people who voted for you here.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13- SCOTTISH ACCENT: - "Redial. We can do this.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15"Come on, we can do this.
0:24:15 > 0:24:16"We can win this.
0:24:16 > 0:24:20"It's not about singing, it's about English bastards!
0:24:20 > 0:24:22LAUGHTER
0:24:26 > 0:24:29"Is that BT? Right, here's the numbers for my Friends And Family.
0:24:29 > 0:24:33"Number one, Michelle McManus in Pop Idol.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38"We can bloody do this."
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Sometimes on your mobile phone, you lose signal, don't you?
0:24:46 > 0:24:48You lose signal. It's an odd moment.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51We all try to regain signal by saying hello normally,
0:24:51 > 0:24:55then three sharp hellos, and then a long hello.
0:24:55 > 0:24:56We think this will help.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59" Hello? Hello-hello-hello?
0:24:59 > 0:25:00"Hellooo?"
0:25:02 > 0:25:05I've lost them. Did you try all the hellos?
0:25:05 > 0:25:07The three sharp hellos, long hellos.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14At the offices of Hello! magazine do they pick up the phone
0:25:14 > 0:25:16and go, "Hello, Hello!"?
0:25:19 > 0:25:22I feel sorry for OK! magazine who have to mention
0:25:22 > 0:25:25a major competitor before they mention their own magazine!
0:25:25 > 0:25:28"Hello, OK!". I hate that!
0:25:31 > 0:25:34Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for our next guest?
0:25:34 > 0:25:36AUDIENCE: Yes!
0:25:36 > 0:25:40Without a doubt one of the finest comedians working in the country
0:25:40 > 0:25:42and one of my favourites.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45Please welcome Mr Mark Watson.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Ta. Hi!
0:26:00 > 0:26:02My name is Mark.
0:26:02 > 0:26:03Easy enough. Well, quite easy.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06It does cause trouble. My name is just a noise.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08Mark. Amazing how hard it can be.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11If you hear someone in the street go, "Argh!" sounds like Mark.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13Someone in the street goes,
0:26:13 > 0:26:15"I'm going to go to the park, do some drugs."
0:26:15 > 0:26:19Again, you hear, "Mark, fancy some drugs?"
0:26:19 > 0:26:23It's amazing being on the television what you can and can't say.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26You have to be very careful with language. The F word, no-no.
0:26:26 > 0:26:30Even the one that's ruder than that. The C word. You can't go near that.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33It's funny. It's funny how certain words get people angry.
0:26:33 > 0:26:38The so-called C word, makes people shiver. Really it's just a word.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41It's no different from saying Frisbee, really.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44Of course the context makes a difference.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Had a bit of a mix-up in a park once.
0:26:46 > 0:26:47LAUGHTER
0:26:47 > 0:26:49It's the same thing, isn't it?
0:26:49 > 0:26:51I've got a wife.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53LAUGHTER
0:26:53 > 0:26:56I have. That's not one of the jokes. It's a comment.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01She's a proper woman. I got her fair and square.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05The only thing is when you're a person...
0:27:05 > 0:27:07I feel lucky to have got a wife.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10This is going to sound really sentimental
0:27:10 > 0:27:13but I don't want her to die or anything.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15I'm a romantic fool.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18I sort of married above myself a bit.
0:27:18 > 0:27:24It was a fluke. I don't think I could re-recruit, if you see what I mean.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27Maybe some of you will know what it's like when you have someone you love
0:27:27 > 0:27:31so much that you live in paranoia that they might be dead.
0:27:31 > 0:27:32It's really tiring.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35If I send her a text and she doesn't reply, after 15 minutes I think,
0:27:35 > 0:27:37"Oh, she's probably died."
0:27:37 > 0:27:40Having to wake them up in the night to check they're still breathing.
0:27:40 > 0:27:44You don't always get the thanks you deserve, either.
0:27:44 > 0:27:45"Do I look dead?!"
0:27:45 > 0:27:46"No, angry, if anything."
0:27:46 > 0:27:48It's not worth being paranoid.
0:27:48 > 0:27:52Quite often you think, "What would be the worst possible thing I can do now?"
0:27:52 > 0:27:56You probably know what it's like to be strongly tempted to do something.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59We've all had a situation where you walk over a bridge,
0:27:59 > 0:28:00keys in your hand.
0:28:00 > 0:28:02For no reason you start thinking,
0:28:02 > 0:28:06"Imagine if I threw them. I won't, but I could."
0:28:06 > 0:28:09The more you think, the more overpowering the temptation.
0:28:09 > 0:28:11"I could throw them, I'm going to throw them. Yep!"
0:28:11 > 0:28:15Oh, I've lost a few sets of keys that way!
0:28:15 > 0:28:17The worst thing I've ever done,
0:28:17 > 0:28:20just because the temptation was too strong, I once kicked a man.
0:28:20 > 0:28:24There was no reason for it at all.
0:28:24 > 0:28:28I couldn't get past him. He was wheeling this suitcase really slowly.
0:28:28 > 0:28:30I couldn't find a way to dodge past.
0:28:30 > 0:28:33It came into my head, "Imagine if I kicked him."
0:28:33 > 0:28:36Again, you think, "Imagine if I kicked him, I mustn't.
0:28:36 > 0:28:38"But I could kick him. Maybe I will."
0:28:38 > 0:28:42And I walked along thinking, "I believe I'm going to kick this man."
0:28:42 > 0:28:45In the end, I kicked the bugger, quite hard in the back of the leg.
0:28:45 > 0:28:49As I was doing it, I remember thinking, what else could I have done?
0:28:49 > 0:28:51The guy swung round.
0:28:51 > 0:28:52He looked pretty annoyed.
0:28:52 > 0:28:55All I could think of to say was, "I've kicked you!"
0:28:55 > 0:28:59which isn't an excuse, more just a summary of the events.
0:28:59 > 0:29:02That's another thing you do when you're a comedian,
0:29:02 > 0:29:04you say things out loud. It's my job, really,
0:29:04 > 0:29:07to say what I think. It's not a good habit. In Edinburgh,
0:29:07 > 0:29:10I had an embarrassing moment
0:29:10 > 0:29:14just where there's a cash machine on the bridge.
0:29:14 > 0:29:18I was behind this guy and he was checking his bank balance.
0:29:18 > 0:29:22Of course, you're not meant to look. But I did. It was £30,000.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24Your balance is £30,000. Just in his bank account.
0:29:24 > 0:29:27I was so amazed I blurted out, "You've got loads there."
0:29:27 > 0:29:33The guy swung round. It was a hard one to explain.
0:29:33 > 0:29:35Oh, dear me.
0:29:35 > 0:29:37It's gone sort of quite well, really.
0:29:37 > 0:29:39It's gone fairly well.
0:29:39 > 0:29:42A lot of people wouldn't fancy doing this at all.
0:29:42 > 0:29:43A lot of people think it's brave.
0:29:43 > 0:29:45People say, "You're so brave."
0:29:45 > 0:29:49In fact, I'm the least tough member of my family.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51My dad is a big, tough guy.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54My granddad killed a bear once with just his hands.
0:29:54 > 0:29:56It was a fluke, to be fair.
0:29:56 > 0:29:59The bear was looking the other way and he pushed it over a cliff.
0:29:59 > 0:30:01LAUGHTER
0:30:01 > 0:30:03It was more of a tactical victory, really.
0:30:05 > 0:30:08Compared with that, I've no history of heroics.
0:30:08 > 0:30:09In fact I've done nothing...
0:30:09 > 0:30:12A nurse said to me, "What you do is so brave."
0:30:12 > 0:30:16It's an amazing thing to say. Nurses are much more brave.
0:30:16 > 0:30:19Imagine having the courage to give hope to sick people.
0:30:19 > 0:30:23I'd be terrible. If someone said to me, "Am I going to die? Am I dying?"
0:30:23 > 0:30:25I'd find it hard not to say,
0:30:25 > 0:30:26"You do look pasty.
0:30:28 > 0:30:30"Put it this way, I wouldn't begin watching 24."
0:30:30 > 0:30:35You can't do that. "Don't buy a box set."
0:30:35 > 0:30:39I even had a guy say to me, "You're the bravest man I've ever met."
0:30:39 > 0:30:43It was incredible. This guy himself was a bungee jumper.
0:30:43 > 0:30:49He had bungee-jumped for charity naked off South Pier in Blackpool.
0:30:49 > 0:30:51Which one of us is brave?
0:30:51 > 0:30:54I'd never in a million years go to Blackpool.
0:30:54 > 0:30:57That's enough from me. Enjoy the rest of your evening.
0:30:57 > 0:30:59Thanks, my name's Mark Watson.
0:30:59 > 0:31:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:31:01 > 0:31:03Marvellous. Fantastic.
0:31:03 > 0:31:06Mark Watson, ladies and gentlemen!
0:31:06 > 0:31:08We love Mark Watson!
0:31:15 > 0:31:17I went for a walk down Princes Street.
0:31:17 > 0:31:20It's difficult, especially in the Festival.
0:31:20 > 0:31:22People are shopping on one side or tourists
0:31:22 > 0:31:24on the other are taking photos of the castle.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26It's very awkward when people
0:31:26 > 0:31:29are taking photos because you don't quite know...
0:31:29 > 0:31:31Should I stop? Have you finished? OK.
0:31:31 > 0:31:34Then there's another person, "Do you mind if I...?
0:31:34 > 0:31:38It's an odd walk. If you remove the people, you'd look a complete...
0:31:41 > 0:31:44This one guy was taking a photo. I jumped in front.
0:31:44 > 0:31:47I thought, just for a bit of fun. He can delete the photo.
0:31:47 > 0:31:50It's no big deal. I'm just going to go for it.
0:31:50 > 0:31:54I was in a silly mood. He was taking the photo and I went, "Yeah!"
0:31:55 > 0:31:57He went absolutely insane.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59- AMERICAN ACCENT: - "I can't believe it!"
0:31:59 > 0:32:06"I can't believe you just did that! I've only got one shot. One shot."
0:32:06 > 0:32:10It was very odd. I thought, "Is this Eminem?"
0:32:10 > 0:32:13Anyway, it turned out he was taking a photo
0:32:13 > 0:32:15of the castle with the cannon
0:32:15 > 0:32:18that goes off once every 24 hours.
0:32:18 > 0:32:22It was this exact moment that I went, "Yeah!"
0:32:22 > 0:32:23As he was telling me,
0:32:23 > 0:32:26I remembered it going "Booff!" behind me.
0:32:26 > 0:32:27I thought that was the camera.
0:32:27 > 0:32:31I thought it's an amazing camera, it's a weird sensation.
0:32:31 > 0:32:33He was like, "Now I've got to come back tomorrow!
0:32:33 > 0:32:35"Now I've got to come back here tomorrow!"
0:32:35 > 0:32:40I heard his accent and I went back tomorrow as well!
0:32:41 > 0:32:42"Me again."
0:32:42 > 0:32:44"Yeah! Asshole!"
0:32:47 > 0:32:50It's my pleasure to bring on tonight's
0:32:50 > 0:32:52headline act.
0:32:52 > 0:32:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:32:55 > 0:32:59This man is doing phenomenal business.
0:32:59 > 0:33:01I've long been a fan of his.
0:33:01 > 0:33:05He's one of my favourite comedians in the whole world. I love this guy.
0:33:05 > 0:33:07He was a huge success last year in the Festival.
0:33:07 > 0:33:09He's going from strength to strength.
0:33:09 > 0:33:14Please give all your love for the wonderful Mr Rhod Gilbert.
0:33:14 > 0:33:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:33:23 > 0:33:25Hello.
0:33:29 > 0:33:31Hello, Edinburgh.
0:33:31 > 0:33:32CHEERING
0:33:32 > 0:33:34Are you well?
0:33:34 > 0:33:35It's good to be back!
0:33:35 > 0:33:39This is the best place in the world to do comedy, isn't it?
0:33:39 > 0:33:40- AUDIENCE:- Yes!
0:33:40 > 0:33:42It is. You love a laugh, don't you?
0:33:42 > 0:33:44- AUDIENCE:- Yes!
0:33:44 > 0:33:45You love a laugh.
0:33:45 > 0:33:48Last year, I was staying...
0:33:48 > 0:33:50what's that street...?
0:33:50 > 0:33:53St Mary's Street. Is that the one off the Royal Mile?
0:33:53 > 0:33:55I had a first-floor flat.
0:33:55 > 0:34:01So every day I was at the same height
0:34:01 > 0:34:05as the open-top misery tour.
0:34:07 > 0:34:12I'd sit at my window. I was at exactly the same height as the
0:34:12 > 0:34:17poor, miserable, sodden Japanese tourists.
0:34:17 > 0:34:22Huddled in the wind and driving rain,
0:34:22 > 0:34:26in their emergency ponchos.
0:34:26 > 0:34:30Their faces set like stone against the Scottish elements,
0:34:30 > 0:34:34like shrink-wrapped gargoyles hanging off the side.
0:34:34 > 0:34:36They would open their mouths
0:34:36 > 0:34:40and water would spew down the side of the bus.
0:34:40 > 0:34:43I'd just get the odd word,
0:34:43 > 0:34:48the odd word of the commentary would waft in on the wind.
0:34:48 > 0:34:52Have you heard the commentary? It's hilariously miserable.
0:34:52 > 0:34:58The odd word, the odd ancient grudge would float in on the wind.
0:34:58 > 0:35:01"10,000 Scots died..." Neeowwww...
0:35:01 > 0:35:03"Centuries of oppression..."
0:35:03 > 0:35:05Neeowwww...
0:35:05 > 0:35:10I went on one a few days later and I came off like William bloody Wallace.
0:35:10 > 0:35:11Come on!
0:35:11 > 0:35:14We can do this. I was going to go shopping in the afternoon,
0:35:14 > 0:35:17I ended up marching on Cumbria instead.
0:35:22 > 0:35:24It's nice to be back. I'm staying here tonight.
0:35:24 > 0:35:26- AUDIENCE MEMBER:- Yay!
0:35:26 > 0:35:30Yes! It means I don't have to drive home. This job is terrible for that.
0:35:30 > 0:35:34You usually have to drive home late at night. I hate night-time driving.
0:35:34 > 0:35:37What are those things they put on late at night?
0:35:39 > 0:35:41Not lights. No!
0:35:42 > 0:35:46On the radio. Those things when you're driving along.
0:35:46 > 0:35:49They're not adverts, they're like infomercials.
0:35:49 > 0:35:52Do you know the things I mean? When you're driving along
0:35:52 > 0:35:54and you're tired and it's late.
0:35:54 > 0:35:57The radio says, "You're tired, it's late.
0:35:57 > 0:36:03"The monotony of driving is sending you to sleep."
0:36:03 > 0:36:05I'm thinking, "You're not helping here, pal."
0:36:05 > 0:36:10I was driving back to Cardiff once, have you heard this one?
0:36:10 > 0:36:13It was half-past one in the morning.
0:36:13 > 0:36:14I was on the M4 and this one came on.
0:36:14 > 0:36:16It said, "Fall asleep at the wheel
0:36:16 > 0:36:19"and you could travel further than you think."
0:36:19 > 0:36:21LAUGHTER
0:36:22 > 0:36:24"You could travel further than you think."
0:36:24 > 0:36:27In fact, in six seconds it said a car on the motorway
0:36:27 > 0:36:29could travel up to one eighth of a mile.
0:36:29 > 0:36:35It was half-past one in the morning, I had 110 miles still to go.
0:36:35 > 0:36:37So I did a few calculations...
0:36:37 > 0:36:40I set my alarm for three.
0:36:40 > 0:36:42I must have slept through it.
0:36:42 > 0:36:45I woke up driving through Ireland the next morning.
0:36:45 > 0:36:47I'd been on the car ferry and all sorts!
0:36:49 > 0:36:51I flew to...
0:36:51 > 0:36:55You fly all over the world with this job. I flew to Australia.
0:36:55 > 0:36:56- AUDIENCE MEMBER:- Woo!
0:36:56 > 0:36:58- Are you Australian?- Yes!
0:36:59 > 0:37:01- Where are you from?- From Brisbane.
0:37:01 > 0:37:05From Brisbane? I went to...Melbourne.
0:37:05 > 0:37:07LAUGHTER
0:37:07 > 0:37:10- Do you know Melbourne?- Yeah.
0:37:10 > 0:37:12Can you explain that flight to me?
0:37:12 > 0:37:13What? The distance?
0:37:13 > 0:37:17Well, I left my house at half-past twelve on a Monday.
0:37:17 > 0:37:20I got to your place Wednesday teatime.
0:37:20 > 0:37:23What the hell happened to Tuesday?
0:37:23 > 0:37:25I had stuff to do.
0:37:28 > 0:37:31I left Melbourne at half-past six on Monday.
0:37:31 > 0:37:34It took exactly 24 hours but I still got back Monday night.
0:37:34 > 0:37:38What happened to Tuesday again? What is it with you people and Tuesdays?
0:37:38 > 0:37:40LAUGHTER
0:37:40 > 0:37:44I flew to Ireland, any Irish in?
0:37:44 > 0:37:45CHEERING
0:37:45 > 0:37:48I flew to Dublin a few years ago.
0:37:48 > 0:37:51I've told this story all over the world.
0:37:51 > 0:37:55Everywhere I've gone I've blamed a different airline.
0:37:55 > 0:37:58But the true story happened on a flight to Dublin
0:37:58 > 0:38:03and I can't tell you the name of the airline for legal reasons.
0:38:03 > 0:38:05We'll call them Bryanair, right?
0:38:05 > 0:38:07LAUGHTER
0:38:08 > 0:38:11Listen, I was exc... I was going abroad.
0:38:11 > 0:38:14I'm Welsh. I bought shorts.
0:38:15 > 0:38:18T-shirts, sunglasses.
0:38:18 > 0:38:21They don't even sell them in Wales, I had to go to Bristol to buy them.
0:38:21 > 0:38:25I was excited. I bought myself a brand new suitcase.
0:38:25 > 0:38:29One of the posh ones with the wheels and I flew to Dublin.
0:38:29 > 0:38:34I'll show you what I found when I arrived in Dublin airport
0:38:34 > 0:38:36just a few hours later.
0:38:36 > 0:38:38That. LAUGHTER
0:38:38 > 0:38:40It's not funny.
0:38:40 > 0:38:44Anyway, I get the last laugh. It still works.
0:38:44 > 0:38:48You can see where some hilarious baggage handler
0:38:48 > 0:38:50has put a "heavy" label on that. Look!
0:38:50 > 0:38:54Bend your knees is the advice to anybody tackling that baby.
0:38:55 > 0:38:57I'm not going to lie to you.
0:38:57 > 0:39:01The flight was about £9.99.
0:39:01 > 0:39:03I wasn't expecting miracles.
0:39:03 > 0:39:04If I'm completely honest,
0:39:04 > 0:39:09the first three times this went round the baggage carousel, I laughed.
0:39:09 > 0:39:11LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:39:13 > 0:39:18Everybody laughed the first three times. It was hilarious.
0:39:18 > 0:39:20Everybody was having a great time.
0:39:20 > 0:39:23One by one they went home.
0:39:23 > 0:39:24It was just me and this.
0:39:24 > 0:39:28I thought I could sort it out. I took this to the desk.
0:39:30 > 0:39:31I marched over.
0:39:31 > 0:39:34I'll sort this out.
0:39:34 > 0:39:36I didn't know what I was up against. The girl at the desk looks at me,
0:39:36 > 0:39:39no hint of irony, she says, "What seems to be the problem?"
0:39:42 > 0:39:44I said, "Mainly it's about my luggage."
0:39:44 > 0:39:46She said, "Is that not it?"
0:39:48 > 0:39:50I said, "This is some of it."
0:39:50 > 0:39:52"Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to get this.
0:39:54 > 0:39:56"The thing is, I'm here for a month.
0:39:58 > 0:40:00"I'm pretty sure I packed more than this."
0:40:02 > 0:40:04She started asking those questions.
0:40:04 > 0:40:07Those questions they ask you in airports.
0:40:07 > 0:40:10I've heard these questions all over the world.
0:40:10 > 0:40:13They're normally sensible questions. There was no need for it.
0:40:13 > 0:40:15She said, "Could anyone have interfered with it?"
0:40:17 > 0:40:20I said, "We probably shouldn't rule that out."
0:40:20 > 0:40:23She said, "Have you left it unattended at any point?"
0:40:23 > 0:40:26I said, "I suppose I must have."
0:40:26 > 0:40:29I'm not the most observant person but if this had happened
0:40:29 > 0:40:32while I was wheeling it through the airport, I think I'd have noticed!
0:40:32 > 0:40:35Surely it would have gone very light very quickly.
0:40:35 > 0:40:37She said, "Did you pack it yourself?"
0:40:37 > 0:40:40I said, "What are you suggesting?
0:40:40 > 0:40:42"My mother packed and thought this is all I'd need?"
0:40:42 > 0:40:44LAUGHTER
0:40:44 > 0:40:46She said, "We'll do a report.
0:40:46 > 0:40:49"Don't you worry. We'll soon have your luggage back."
0:40:49 > 0:40:52I thought, "Good. Do your bloody report."
0:40:52 > 0:40:56It was all going quite well until question three.
0:40:56 > 0:40:59She took my name, she took my address.
0:40:59 > 0:41:01She said, "Does it have any distinguishing features?"
0:41:01 > 0:41:06I said, "It's got a long black handle, if that's any use."
0:41:06 > 0:41:08She wrote that down.
0:41:11 > 0:41:13Everyone's a comedian in Ireland.
0:41:13 > 0:41:15Especially the taxi drivers.
0:41:15 > 0:41:20They're the worst. I walked from the airport to the taxi rank.
0:41:20 > 0:41:24Bear in mind I didn't have a five-minute story to tell,
0:41:24 > 0:41:28I just had 22 kilograms of missing shit.
0:41:28 > 0:41:31I wasn't looking too pleased.
0:41:31 > 0:41:35The guy in the first taxi, he saw me coming along with this.
0:41:35 > 0:41:36His eyes lit up.
0:41:39 > 0:41:41You could... It was so predictable.
0:41:41 > 0:41:42He walks round to the back...
0:41:46 > 0:41:50pops open the boot.
0:41:50 > 0:41:53Typical Irish wit! He says, "Do you want a hand with that?"
0:41:56 > 0:41:59"No, thank you. I think I can manage."
0:41:59 > 0:42:03I said, "If you really want to help, you can take the trolley back."
0:42:03 > 0:42:05LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:42:07 > 0:42:10Ladies and gentlemen, lovely to be back in Edinburgh.
0:42:10 > 0:42:13Hopefully see you at the Festival. I'm Rhod Gilbert.
0:42:13 > 0:42:17Thank you very, very much. Thank you.
0:42:24 > 0:42:27Rhod Gilbert, ladies and gentlemen. What more do you need?
0:42:31 > 0:42:35Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for everyone we've had.
0:42:35 > 0:42:40We had Mark Watson, ladies and gentlemen! Fantastic.
0:42:40 > 0:42:42Stewart Francis was here.
0:42:44 > 0:42:48- SCOTTISH ACCENT: - Local boy Kevin Bridges.
0:42:50 > 0:42:53And the wonderful Rhod Gilbert.
0:42:53 > 0:42:58Thank you very much. Join me next time on my Comedy Roadshow.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01Good night! Thank you.
0:43:14 > 0:43:17Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:43:17 > 0:43:20E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk