0:00:02 > 0:00:03Well, hello you.
0:00:03 > 0:00:04# Just the two of us... #
0:00:04 > 0:00:09If you're watching with other family members, ignore them. It's me and you. Saucy!
0:00:09 > 0:00:13So, previously in my life,
0:00:13 > 0:00:17I met Tilly's fiance Rupert Farley-Pointless or something.
0:00:17 > 0:00:22- And this is Rupert. - Oh, please, call me the Bear.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24HE GROWLS
0:00:24 > 0:00:25Ooh!
0:00:25 > 0:00:28SHE MOUTHS
0:00:28 > 0:00:32He's on army leave so their wedding plans are a go-go
0:00:32 > 0:00:35which means Mum is even more desperate to find me a man
0:00:35 > 0:00:38and has taken to literally trawling the countryside.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42Hello, young man, do get in.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44- Where are you off to? - I'm going to see my girlfriend...
0:00:48 > 0:00:52What else? Oh, yes, Stevie took our karaoke night to a new level.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55# BOTH: Try to look as if you don't care less
0:00:55 > 0:00:58# But if you want to see some more... #
0:00:58 > 0:01:01- Stevie! I didn't know that was going to happen.- Carry on!
0:01:01 > 0:01:03But I haven't got the little skirt!
0:01:03 > 0:01:07# And then you can show that you think you know... #
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Let's speak no more of, and crack on with the show.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Ooh, new breakfast menu.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25I think I'll have the antioxidant mixed berry compote.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Yes, me too...
0:01:27 > 0:01:35and bacon, egg, sausage, beans, French toast, hash browns...
0:01:35 > 0:01:39muffin, tea and two sugars.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Lovely. I love that you're now doing breakfast.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44- I prefer to call it "brunch". - I couldn't be more sorry.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48But, I mean, combining two meals, really, it's insanity personified.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50- What next, linner?- Or lupper.
0:01:50 > 0:01:55- Funnier, lupper.- Do you think they know they're in love?
0:01:55 > 0:01:56No.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58- Is it time?- It's time.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00THEY LAUGH
0:02:00 > 0:02:02MOCKING LAUGHTER
0:02:04 > 0:02:08- Right, listen up. - We're staging an intervention. - And sending you on a date.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10- BOTH: What?! - Tonight. As they say,
0:02:10 > 0:02:16"Strike while the iron's hot". And, as I say, "Iron while the iron's hot" too.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19I have vouchers for a romantic restaurant.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Just go and work out if something's going to happen.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23- We're just friends.- Right.
0:02:23 > 0:02:24Sorry, guys. Nice try.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26What are you doing?!
0:02:26 > 0:02:28It's been going great with him, just mates.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Denial. You're not that good an actress.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33I think you'll find I'm an excellent actress.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35SHE MOUTHS
0:02:35 > 0:02:40- You're besotted. - Shh.- She is totally in love...
0:02:42 > 0:02:46Did I mention the restaurant was Wilson's?
0:02:46 > 0:02:50Wilson's? Clive, you know I'm desperate to try the food there.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53We could give it a shot. What's the worst that could happen?
0:02:53 > 0:02:59Humiliation, embarrassment, fire, explosions, collisions, tears, nudity and death.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02But that was just bad luck involving a rogue creme brulee torch.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04It's VERY unlikely to happen twice.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07- Let's go for it.- OK, you're on.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09I'll go give them a call.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12I knew you wouldn't be able to resist.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16When Gary walks in in chef's gear, you practically fall off the stool.
0:03:16 > 0:03:17Oh, I do not.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19I'll book a table for eight, is that OK?
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Yeah, although I thought it would just be the two of us.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
0:03:26 > 0:03:32So tomorrow night, Miranda and Stevie's okey-dokey no space for blokeys karaoke.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34Still happy to have it at yours?
0:03:34 > 0:03:37- Of course. Now, have you chosen your song?- The theme...
0:03:37 > 0:03:40- Songs to reflect your personality. My theme.- Good theme.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42- Thank you, caller.- Pleasure, sir.
0:03:42 > 0:03:48But tricky theme for me because there are so many key aspects of my personality.
0:03:48 > 0:03:53So I think I'll just sum them all up and do Simply The Best. I love Tina.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57- Next week I might do Nutbush City Limits. - SHE LAUGHS
0:03:57 > 0:03:59There is nothing funny about Nutbush.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02That's where you're wrong, my shrunken elf of a friend.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Excuse me, Nutbush.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06HE LAUGHS
0:04:06 > 0:04:07You see?
0:04:07 > 0:04:10- What's your song?- Easy...
0:04:10 > 0:04:12# I may not be a lady... #
0:04:12 > 0:04:14But from a distance, I can pass as one.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Get out! I think you'll find I am all woman.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20Monday to Sunday - inclusive.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Oi! And weekends are doubly good.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26That's not in the song, that's a little bit of information about me.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31What are you doing throwing out men?
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Beggars can't be choosers.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Actually you could consider a beggar.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Obviously there's the smell, but THEY'LL get used to it.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Such fun!
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Sorry, darling. I don't want to be one of those HELLISH mothers...
0:04:45 > 0:04:49..but if you don't find a date for Tilly's wedding, consider emigration.
0:04:49 > 0:04:54Belinda is being a nightmare mother of the bride. So smug.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56I thought Belinda was your best friend.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58She is, but I dislike her intensely.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01- Is it too early for a drink? - It's 10.30.
0:05:01 > 0:05:0312.00, did you say?
0:05:03 > 0:05:07- Hello, whisky. And I'm playing, what I call, tennis...- It is tennis,
0:05:07 > 0:05:09I don't know what else you'd call it.
0:05:09 > 0:05:15..with Belinda tomorrow and she's bound to give me some ghastly wedding task to make me feel better.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Hi-de-ho, peeps.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Fake smiles, fake smiles.
0:05:19 > 0:05:20Tilly, Rupert.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24Oh, please, call me the Bear.
0:05:26 > 0:05:32- I do love that.- Queen Kong. You know two months today, Poopert and I shall become uno.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36- Right, well, I'm dashing. - Oh, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40Mummy and I have sensed un petit peu de jealous-bags,
0:05:40 > 0:05:43but we would love you to do the flowers for the wedding.
0:05:43 > 0:05:44Bouquet-dokey?
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Isn't that lovely?
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Skinny thank you-cino to your ma, eh?
0:05:49 > 0:05:52He stands too close.
0:05:52 > 0:05:53Muchisimus gracias, Pen-Pen.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56- You would not believe the wedmin. - Wedmin?
0:05:56 > 0:06:00Wedding administration. Keep up. You're actually really lucky
0:06:00 > 0:06:03you're probably never going to have to organise a wedding for Miranda.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
0:06:08 > 0:06:13Well, this has all been delightful.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
0:06:19 > 0:06:22So Queen KONGO-leeza Rice...
0:06:22 > 0:06:24That's very... Did you see what she...?
0:06:24 > 0:06:27Merci, merci, c'est fini!
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Wedmin-planning lunch-eonie on tomorrow at one.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Ah, fabulosomos omisamos.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35We'll have some serious fun bags.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37It's not the best breath.
0:06:37 > 0:06:41Poopert, Poopert, it's not fun bags, it's wedmin focus, OK?
0:06:41 > 0:06:44I'll see you tomozza-pam.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Bye, girls. Up and at 'em.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Up and at 'em... Bang, bang. Do you see? They're guns?
0:06:49 > 0:06:51I was shooting you.
0:06:51 > 0:06:55Please, tell me you noticed it then. Rupert was coming on to me.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58He wasn't. He's just tactile.
0:06:58 > 0:07:04And if he was coming on to anyone he would be coming on to me, because I have the allure.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06I have allure.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08You're not allure-abundant.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Well, maybe my allure began abounding.
0:07:11 > 0:07:17No, because my high level of the allure means I'd be attuned to any shifts in the allurosphere.
0:07:17 > 0:07:21- The allurosphere? - Not my word - science's.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Now, if you want the allure for your hot date tonight, I'd get ready.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26- It's 10.30. - It could take that long.
0:07:28 > 0:07:34Rude! I am feeling shifts in the allurosphere already. Oh, yes.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37SHE LAUGHS FORCEDLY
0:07:37 > 0:07:41You look lovely, by the way.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43Oh, thank you. You too.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Velour menus.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51You know somewhere's smart when the menu is wearing a smoking jacket.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Yeah.
0:07:56 > 0:07:57BOTH: So do you...
0:07:57 > 0:07:59- Oh, sorry.- Oh, sorry. You go.
0:07:59 > 0:08:00No, you first.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Oh, my gosh, look at us. This is ridiculous.
0:08:02 > 0:08:06Put us in a romantic setting and we can barely speak to each other.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07I know.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09- I know what we should do. - OK, let's just go.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11We should sleep together.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18- Sorry?- We should sleep together.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Shall I explain?
0:08:24 > 0:08:27Yes, please, thank you, please, thank you so to you.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31Well, I think maybe Stevie and Clive are right.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33There could be an "us", that we've never...
0:08:33 > 0:08:37- Do you?- Yes. I've always thought...
0:08:37 > 0:08:40- Something... - Yes.- And you know what they say,
0:08:40 > 0:08:43if you have a friend you've fancied in the past, but never kissed,
0:08:43 > 0:08:47after a while you're too good friends, it's kind of awkward
0:08:47 > 0:08:49and embarrassing. That's us.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51We need to break that awkwardness.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Anyway, that's my theory.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56It is an EXCELLENT theory.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59He could have given me any theory, to be honest.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04I should say obviously, I don't usually leap in to bed...
0:09:04 > 0:09:08Me too. I mean, I've had some fun in the past. As I'm sure you have...
0:09:08 > 0:09:13Loads. Well, some, I mean, the odd spot of...
0:09:13 > 0:09:17Predominantly other kinds of fun, to be honest.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19'There's no easy way to tell you this.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22'Kelly's pregnant and it's mine.'
0:09:22 > 0:09:25SHE PLAYS EASTENDERS CLOSING THEME
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Get in!
0:09:29 > 0:09:31Let's not dwell.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Sure. If this is our moment,
0:09:33 > 0:09:35I don't want to regret not doing anything about it.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37- Really?- Really.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Well, me neither.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Gary, are we finally...
0:09:49 > 0:09:50I know.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52How long has it taken us?
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Oh, my God, there's woman on fire!
0:09:59 > 0:10:01I think it was a flambe.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03I'm so sorry, I thought you were on fire.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05- Shall we leave?- Yes, can we? Quick.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Sorry.
0:10:11 > 0:10:16Well, it wasn't Wilson's, but, you know what, sometimes you can't go wrong with a burger.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18You can NEVER go wrong with a burger.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22I mean, those are the best burgers... apart from yours.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24- Good save.- Thank you.
0:10:27 > 0:10:28- So...- So...
0:10:30 > 0:10:33- Shall we put some music on? - Good idea.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35I'll do a shuffle.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38Shuffle to the shuffle.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Bit nervous.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44FLAMENCO MUSIC STARTS
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Ooh.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54MUSIC: "My Humps" by The Black Eyed Peas
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Of all songs...
0:10:58 > 0:11:00- Hello.- Hi.
0:11:02 > 0:11:06I might just turn the lighting down...better lighting.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Sure, sure.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19- Is that OK?- It's a BIT dark.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Shame.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23OK.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Sorry.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Sorry.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33HE BURPS
0:11:33 > 0:11:35Gary, did you just burp?
0:11:35 > 0:11:38Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41Oh, I've got indigestion.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Don't worry. I've got some Gaviscon if you want.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46HE BURPS
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Gary! Do you want some Wind-eze as well?
0:11:49 > 0:11:51I swear by Wind-eze.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54If in doubt, pop a Wind-eze.
0:11:54 > 0:11:58- It's fun to say as well, Wind-eze. Wind-eze! - Can you stop saying Wind-eze?
0:11:58 > 0:11:59Sorry.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07I think I've got aniseedy breath now.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09No, you're fine.
0:12:09 > 0:12:14Sorry, just thought of the word Wind-eze. Sorry.
0:12:21 > 0:12:22- I can taste aniseed. - I can smell it now.
0:12:22 > 0:12:27- OK, OK, this is now a little bit over-planned. - A bit sort of clinical.
0:12:27 > 0:12:32- Can we do this again when I'm a little bit less...- Burpy.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Yes. I think it might be a bit more romantic when we're spontaneous.
0:12:35 > 0:12:36Sure. Yes.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39- Night.- Night.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44- Sorry.- No, no. It's fine.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47- Night.- Night.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57# I feel pretty, oh, so pretty
0:12:57 > 0:13:00# I feel pretty and witty and gay... #
0:13:00 > 0:13:05Although not gay, because I'm going to get it on with Gary, who's a man.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07# And I'm all woman Monday to Sunday... #
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Ooh, it's a mash up.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13I'm so excited. I don't know what to do.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Oh, hi. So, tell all, tell all. What happened?
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Nothing. Just a nice meal with a friend. That's all.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26That's SO disappointing.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31You SEEM different.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Do I?!
0:13:33 > 0:13:35I won't tell her.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Are you sure nothing happened?
0:13:37 > 0:13:39My lips are sealed, my face is a mask.
0:13:39 > 0:13:44Nothing happened at the restaurant, but then we went back to my flat to have sex. Well...
0:13:46 > 0:13:49We didn't last night, but we're going to.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51BOTH: Oh-h-h!
0:13:51 > 0:13:52And are you OK with this?
0:13:52 > 0:13:56Yeah. I'm feeling...sexual. And spontaneous.
0:13:56 > 0:14:02- Oh, you. Spontaneous!- I know. Look at me.- Oh, you've gone a little bit camp.
0:14:02 > 0:14:07Oh, yes. Thank you. Now, we're not telling anyone so mum's the word.
0:14:07 > 0:14:08Cooee!
0:14:08 > 0:14:11BOTH: Mum's the word, funny.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15I have just whipped Belinda's big fat arse off the tennis court.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18Whoompf! So satisfying.
0:14:18 > 0:14:22Now, darling, your plus one for the wedding, I saw Benjy at the club.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24- He is still available. - And still my cousin.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26And still, what I call, mental.
0:14:26 > 0:14:30I'm the most beautiful squirrel of them all!
0:14:33 > 0:14:38- I'm not dating Benjy so Belinda gets off your back. - Well, she is insufferable.
0:14:38 > 0:14:44And now I've got to go and look at flower samples. Such fun(!)
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Right, I'm off to the restaurant.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49- Aah.- Febreze me up.- Yes, certainly.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56See you later.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58- Camp!- Thank you.
0:15:00 > 0:15:01Hi.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03- Hi, you OK?- Yeah.
0:15:03 > 0:15:08Good, because I was going to take this afternoon off if you still want to be...spontaneous.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10- I do.- Great.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Ooh, no, Tilly wedding lunch. Wish me luck.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16OK, well, I'll see you after, OK?
0:15:16 > 0:15:19- Hola.- Buon giorno.
0:15:19 > 0:15:25So Queen Kong, I've been a little bit naughty and I've done some matchmaking behind your back.
0:15:25 > 0:15:30So tell me, who would you best like to sit next to at our wedding?
0:15:30 > 0:15:35- Well, as long it's not...- Dreamboat Charlie.- Dreamboat Charlie!
0:15:35 > 0:15:39Although now it's Ping Pong Charlie.
0:15:39 > 0:15:45Funny story. Bangkok, a pole dancer, a ping pong ball, I had one too many sherbets...
0:15:45 > 0:15:47OK, I'm fine not to know this.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50- I have only two words for you. - Could be two words too many.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52Live rutting.
0:15:53 > 0:15:57- Charmed to see you again. What? - What?- What?
0:15:57 > 0:16:02Still tall. I like that in a woman - consistency.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06Right, wedmin. Asseyez-vous, tout le monde, asseyez-vous. Sit down.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09Muchos to discussionae.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Ooh, yes, please. Crisps.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14I bloody love crisps.
0:16:16 > 0:16:17Shall I give you one, Miranda?
0:16:17 > 0:16:20I'm fine thank you, no, I'm...
0:16:20 > 0:16:22MOBILE RINGS
0:16:22 > 0:16:27Oh, bear with. It's Stinky about the pony. Hello, Stinky...
0:16:27 > 0:16:31Excuse me for one minutos.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Clive, help me... No, just kill me, kill me now.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37So...you all right?
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Charlie not too in your face, is he?
0:16:39 > 0:16:42I can totally see why he's into you.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45- Rupert, I'm getting the feeling that...- Kongers...
0:16:45 > 0:16:47You OK?
0:16:47 > 0:16:51Yes, this is my excited wedmin face.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58Looked like you were having a mo-mo avec mon fiance.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Well, he is Cheddar Gorge.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04He is King Gorge VI.
0:17:04 > 0:17:09- Come hither.- Not in public.
0:17:09 > 0:17:10OK, come on. Next up, mail out.
0:17:10 > 0:17:14Kongers, I need you to go to the printers this afternoon to pick up the invites
0:17:14 > 0:17:17- and do the mail out tonight from your house. - MOBILE BEEPS
0:17:17 > 0:17:21Now what?! Bear with...
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Bear with...
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Bear with...
0:17:27 > 0:17:29NO!
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Mummy says Daddy says we can't have the ice sculpture of the Taj Mahal.
0:17:33 > 0:17:37- I better go talk to mater. Come on, Rupert, quick. - I'm going to the little boys' room.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40Never has that saying been more apt.
0:17:40 > 0:17:44So...till tonight.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46- TILLY:- Rupert!
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Did you see that?! I told you he was totally coming on to me.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53This is awful. Should I tell Tilly?
0:17:53 > 0:17:55You can't break them up without serious proof.
0:17:55 > 0:18:00Yes. Set a honey trap. Get him alone and if he makes a pass at you then maybe you just have to tell her.
0:18:00 > 0:18:05Oh, gosh, the pitfalls of being abundant au allure.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08I can't believe he bypassed MY allure.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11Well, deal with it, girlfriend. Oh, yeah.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16AUDIENCE APPLAUD
0:18:18 > 0:18:21Right, now, I've got to go to the printers to pick up the invites.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25Do you mind... Actually, don't worry. Gary, will you give me a hand?
0:18:25 > 0:18:29No probs. Let's do it. Shall we go through the park?
0:18:29 > 0:18:31I'm being attacked by bog roll.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Help, somebody.
0:18:34 > 0:18:39- Big fat soz. - It's fine. Oh, it's on me now.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41I hate this.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Can I kiss you?
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Ooh!
0:18:47 > 0:18:50What?
0:18:50 > 0:18:52So...we can manage at the print shop.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55Then we might do something spontaneous.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58Great idea. What shall we do?
0:19:02 > 0:19:05- Where's Stevie?- Had to go.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11So nice to be out of the kitchen.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14- Shall we sit down for a bit?- Sure.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19So this would be spontaneous. We could...
0:19:19 > 0:19:22What al dente?
0:19:22 > 0:19:24No, that's pasta.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Al fresco.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30Yeah, al fresco.
0:19:30 > 0:19:31Come on.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39BUZZING
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Oh, sorry.
0:19:41 > 0:19:45- You all right?- Yeah. No, actually there's a bee in my hair. Gary, there's a bee in my hair!
0:19:45 > 0:19:46Get it off.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49- Where is it?- You'll make it angry.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Worked out rather well.
0:19:57 > 0:20:02Oh, now, Tilly, this is the colour I was talking about.
0:20:02 > 0:20:08I might just ring Miranda and check there's not a clash with the invitational ribbon.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10MOBILE RINGS
0:20:16 > 0:20:19BOTH: Hello.
0:20:19 > 0:20:25- What are you doing? - We're just looking for...
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Animals.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31Yup, we're just looking for some animals.
0:20:31 > 0:20:38Because apparently some animals have escaped from the local circus.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41- What animals?- Tigers.- Dragons.
0:20:41 > 0:20:45Apparently there's some tigers crouching in the shrubbery.
0:20:47 > 0:20:52And the dragons tend to be hidden.
0:20:52 > 0:20:56So you're looking for a crouching tiger
0:20:56 > 0:20:58and a hidden dragon.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01- Good, so that's explained that then. - Yeah.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03So you haven't been to the printers yet?!
0:21:03 > 0:21:10Oh, my actual and literal golly goodness. Do you want to ruin my nuptials? Allez-vous en! Go!
0:21:10 > 0:21:11Penelope, come.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16- I knew we shouldn't have done spontaneous.- I know, listen...
0:21:16 > 0:21:22I'll go to the print shop, you go back to your flat and we'll be spontaneous around, say, 5pm.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25- Precisely 5pm.- Thank you.
0:21:25 > 0:21:26See you later.
0:21:30 > 0:21:36OK, right. Time for a quick bath because, I won't lie,
0:21:36 > 0:21:39but I perspired a little during the bee debacle.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41I've gone camp with excitement.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45# I've fallen in love... #
0:21:47 > 0:21:50I love a bath, don't you? I'm just gearing up
0:21:50 > 0:21:54to causing the searing pain of wax removal.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Right...
0:21:57 > 0:22:00Oh, no, I'm stuck.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03I've left the wax on too long. It's stuck to the bath.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05# I want to break free... #
0:22:05 > 0:22:07That's not funny, Freddie!
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Stevie! Stevie!
0:22:09 > 0:22:12- Miranda? What is it? - The wax stuck my leg to the bath.
0:22:12 > 0:22:13SHE LAUGHS
0:22:13 > 0:22:18It is not funny. Pull me off, as it very much were.
0:22:18 > 0:22:19- GARY:- Hello?
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Oh, no. He's early.
0:22:21 > 0:22:25- We're in the bathroom!- Don't say you're in here.- Everything OK?
0:22:25 > 0:22:27She's had a bit of an accident!
0:22:27 > 0:22:28That sounds wrong.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31I think it's loosening a bit!
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Everything you say makes this sound terrible!
0:22:34 > 0:22:36I'm going to leave Tilly's invitations on the table.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Ooh!
0:22:38 > 0:22:40- Get out! Get out! - Ooh, I felt a breast.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43THEY SCREAM
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Hello.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Listen, this isn't working.
0:22:51 > 0:22:55It's too much pressure and things keep going wrong. I wish you hadn't suggested it.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to put pressure on you.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00No, you didn't.
0:23:00 > 0:23:01Can we just leave it?
0:23:01 > 0:23:05Miranda, your bath water is really dirty.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07OK, I'm sorry, but...
0:23:09 > 0:23:14I bet I missed my moment for good with Gary and now and I've got to stuff 400 envelopes.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16LAUGHTER AND CHATTING
0:23:16 > 0:23:18- They're here. Oh, the trap! - OK, so get him alone.
0:23:18 > 0:23:23And if he really tries it on, make sure Tilly catches him in a compromising position.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25- How?- He may not, but...
0:23:25 > 0:23:28- Well, with my allure...- Get a grip.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30- Tell me how.- Just let me think.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32- How?- Just let me think.- How?
0:23:32 > 0:23:34- Just let me think.- How? - Just let me think.- How?
0:23:34 > 0:23:36BOTH: How!
0:23:36 > 0:23:39Goody gum drops! The invites.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41I'm starving, shall we get a pizza?
0:23:41 > 0:23:45Tremendulent idea. I'll have pepperoni with extra chilli-chilli bang-bang.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49Why don't WE go and Miranda and Rupert stay here?
0:23:49 > 0:23:50- Come on, Tilly.- No.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52We'll be exactly ten minutes, Miranda.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59Alone at last.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01OK, so shall we watch some telly?
0:24:01 > 0:24:04No. There's something else I'd much rather do.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07Ooh! Would you like to, um...
0:24:07 > 0:24:11play cards...or...charades
0:24:11 > 0:24:14or make some...placards.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17You've been driving me crazy.
0:24:17 > 0:24:24Sometimes a man needs a meat feast rather than a lean chicken salad, if you catch my drift.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27OK, um, what about in nine and a half minutes?
0:24:27 > 0:24:31Don't begrudge a man a final surge over the enemy lines.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Help.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36I've got to put him off till they get back.
0:24:36 > 0:24:37Boggle!
0:24:37 > 0:24:42Let's play Boggle. Boggle always gets me in the mood.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44It's a good word, Boggle, isn't it?
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Wind-eze!
0:24:46 > 0:24:50No, Miranda, I'd much rather...
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Forget the Boggle!
0:24:52 > 0:24:54OK, let me just freshen up then, OK?
0:24:54 > 0:24:55Bear with... Bear with...
0:24:58 > 0:25:00SHE SCREAMS
0:25:00 > 0:25:02OK, stay there. I'll just be one minute.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04This is awful. Poor Tilly.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Where are they? They only left...
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Evening, top totty.
0:25:13 > 0:25:18Lt Charles Wynford Vyvyan St Wedges reporting for bedroom duty, what?
0:25:18 > 0:25:22- What?!- What? Is it too much?
0:25:22 > 0:25:24A bucketful of soz.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28Your mum told me where you lived and lent me the ladder.
0:25:28 > 0:25:32Now, if I remember rightly, that is your bedroom...
0:25:32 > 0:25:33for la pumpy de rumpy.
0:25:33 > 0:25:37No, not there, why don't you wait in the bathroom?
0:25:37 > 0:25:40Okey-dokey. And then some pokey.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43Ugh, what is going on?!
0:25:43 > 0:25:46Ta-da!
0:25:46 > 0:25:48I'll be one minute.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51Oh, my goodness. Right.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Gather. Tell Charlie to go.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57SHE SCREAMS
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Oh, my goodness. OK.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03This is turning into a French farce.
0:26:03 > 0:26:08Eight and a half minutes, it's only been...
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Surprise. I know you said
0:26:10 > 0:26:12we should chill, but I've been getting more
0:26:12 > 0:26:14and more desperate to kiss you,
0:26:14 > 0:26:17so this is a no-pressure surprise visit, I'll go with whatever you want.
0:26:17 > 0:26:18That's so sweet.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Are you wearing a dressing gown?
0:26:20 > 0:26:23Surprised myself too. I walked here like this.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Sexy?!
0:26:25 > 0:26:28Gary, look, I can't do this now, not because I don't want to...
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Oh, well...
0:26:30 > 0:26:33- STEVIE:- You don't need to come in, Penny. I can pass the message on.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35PENNY: Well, I'm here now.
0:26:35 > 0:26:39- I'll go in the bedroom.- No.- That's ten minutes, Miranda!- Bathroom.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42- No, not in the bathroom. Fridge? - I can't fit in there.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47BOTH: How!
0:26:47 > 0:26:50Mirandy... Hello.
0:26:50 > 0:26:54I must have you. Ooh!
0:26:54 > 0:26:57Go, Miranda!
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Scramble!
0:26:59 > 0:27:03Waitress in Greece, army nurse in Kent,
0:27:03 > 0:27:07chef on the Isle of Wight ferry, and now Queen Farticus?!
0:27:07 > 0:27:08Oh, yeah!
0:27:08 > 0:27:10BOTH: Get out!
0:27:13 > 0:27:16Listen, I can explain, but I'd better talk to Tilly.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18Yeah, sure, no worries.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20And don't worry about us.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22If it's meant to happen, it'll happen.
0:27:22 > 0:27:23It better!
0:27:25 > 0:27:29Don't worry, Tilly, it's fun being single.
0:27:29 > 0:27:35Tonight is Miranda and Stevie's okey-dokey no place for blokeys karaoke.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38SHE WAILS
0:27:38 > 0:27:40Well, that's quite rude.
0:27:46 > 0:27:50# So take a look at me now
0:27:50 > 0:27:54# There's just an empty space
0:27:54 > 0:27:59# And there's nothing left here to remind me
0:27:59 > 0:28:02# Just the memory of your face... #
0:28:02 > 0:28:07# Now, there was a time
0:28:07 > 0:28:10# When they used to say
0:28:11 > 0:28:15# That behind every great man
0:28:15 > 0:28:19# There had to be a great woman
0:28:19 > 0:28:26# Sisters are doing it for themselves
0:28:26 > 0:28:29# Standing on their own two feet
0:28:29 > 0:28:33# And ringing on their own bells
0:28:33 > 0:28:39# Sisters are doing it for themselves
0:28:39 > 0:28:43# Standing on their own two feet
0:28:48 > 0:28:53# Sisters are doing it for themselves... #
0:28:55 > 0:28:58Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:58 > 0:29:01E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk