0:00:02 > 0:00:03# Good morning, good morning!
0:00:03 > 0:00:04# Sunbeams will soon smile through
0:00:04 > 0:00:06# Good morning, good morning
0:00:06 > 0:00:09# To you and you and you and you... #
0:00:09 > 0:00:12Oh! Look, toast spoons!
0:00:14 > 0:00:19Oh, I'm feeling good about today. It's got a sort of frisson about it.
0:00:19 > 0:00:20So, news.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23Mike and I are still together, all good,
0:00:23 > 0:00:26but when he tells me he loves me, I freak out, can't say it back.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29I love you.
0:00:29 > 0:00:32Oh, well, well done and you're welcome and what a boost!
0:00:33 > 0:00:35It's a fan hand forsooth, sir!
0:00:35 > 0:00:38I need to workshop the issue with Stevie but we've fallen out.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Apparently I've ignored her since having a boyfriend.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Objection, my lord!
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Although at disco karaoke finals...
0:00:46 > 0:00:51MUSIC: "(I've Had) The Time Of My Life" from Dirty Dancing soundtrack
0:00:51 > 0:00:55# So I'll tell you something
0:00:55 > 0:00:58# This could be love
0:00:58 > 0:01:00# Because... #
0:01:01 > 0:01:05What else to impart? Mum's having a tennis club dinner tonight.
0:01:05 > 0:01:09She doesn't want me there. Apparently I let her down last year.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11Side bar, m'lord!
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Oh, I'll serve drinks.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19I don't know who this woman is.
0:01:19 > 0:01:23Right! I declare this cheeky little day
0:01:23 > 0:01:26ready and open for the business we call life!
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Gary, look at you in your own restaurant.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Are you renaming it?
0:01:40 > 0:01:42- What? "Gary's"? - What's wrong with Gary's?
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Well, it's like a greasy spoon.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Yeah, it's like, it's like a chippy, Gary's, isn't it?
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Yeah. No, seriously, what are you calling it?
0:01:52 > 0:01:55- That's lovely, no, that's perfect. - It's very you. It's very you.
0:01:55 > 0:01:56Manly, yeah.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59Manly? Good, because now manning up to put sign up.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Good luck, man who gets nervous voting for Strictly
0:02:02 > 0:02:03and is scared of mice and geese?
0:02:03 > 0:02:06It's the hissing. They hiss.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Morning, Stevie, do you want to join?
0:02:08 > 0:02:09Fine on my own.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Struggling to get on the stool, are we?
0:02:12 > 0:02:16Pretending this isn't our second breakfast, are we? I won!
0:02:16 > 0:02:19- Guys, I do not need this today! - Guys, I don't need this today!
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Our family dog, my dog, Daisy, might have to be put down.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24More importantly, hello, restaurant opening tonight?
0:02:24 > 0:02:25More importantly?
0:02:25 > 0:02:29OK, can we all just calm it, please? Everyone seems at odds. Just calm.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Do you know what my favourite three little words are?
0:02:38 > 0:02:39All day breakfast.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42I'm going to start doing it.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45It's the best thing since sliced bread. It IS sliced bread.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Then it's toasted and an egg's popped on.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51- Mike, please ask your girlfriend, who loves you so much she...- Well.
0:02:51 > 0:02:56..ignores best friends, if she would for once share her pancakes?
0:02:58 > 0:03:02Oh, sorry about this! Oh, no, I really am sorry.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04I mean, if I could stop, I would.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Well, that is it.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10I will show you how angry I am by my exit march.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12See my physical anger!
0:03:13 > 0:03:17Strutting like an ageing majorette, are we?
0:03:17 > 0:03:20- I'm going to have to dash. I will see you later.- OK.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Mwah. I love you.
0:03:22 > 0:03:23Oh! Well, um...
0:03:23 > 0:03:26MAKES RINGING SOUND
0:03:26 > 0:03:27Hello?
0:03:29 > 0:03:30POWER TOOL WHIZZES
0:03:30 > 0:03:32HE SCREAMS
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Thank you, Mike. I don't need a man who cries about a dog to show me...
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Actually Daisy's been with us for 15 years.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40How do you turn this turn on?
0:03:43 > 0:03:46It's not just me that's finding this erotic, is it?
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Keep wielding, men!
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Stevie, Stevie, Stevie, Stevie, Stevie...
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Mike just told me he loved me again and I couldn't reply.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Talk to the face cos the hand ain't listening!
0:03:59 > 0:04:02- It's the wrong way round.- Yeah.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Oh, come on, Stevie. I need you.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06We're like a sofa and a little pouffe.
0:04:08 > 0:04:09It's clean sheet night tonight.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Who am I going to change my duvet with?
0:04:11 > 0:04:14We could play Sheet Over Head Guess What Fruit's Being Thrown At You?
0:04:14 > 0:04:15You love that!
0:04:15 > 0:04:22Delicious to talk to you, darling. Lots of love, bye! Ghastly woman.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Who is?
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Still on speaker. She's still there, she's still there.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30Ghastly woman I see before me...
0:04:30 > 0:04:34Er, y-yes, Miranda! Ha-ha-ha! Bye, Belinda.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38She's convinced that my tennis dinner
0:04:38 > 0:04:41won't be nearly as good as hers last year.
0:04:41 > 0:04:45Over my yoga-plated, flab-free, super firm, what-I-call buttocks.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48Now, do you think that Mike would...
0:04:49 > 0:04:52SHE SHRIEKS
0:04:55 > 0:04:56What's happening?
0:04:56 > 0:05:00Oh, Raymond Blanc! You look like you're doing Riverdance.
0:05:00 > 0:05:04You'd be the same if your pin-up suddenly walked in.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07- Is Gary Barlow here? - Is Theo Paphitis here?
0:05:07 > 0:05:08BOTH: Theo Paphitis?!
0:05:12 > 0:05:14I could ask Raymond to the dinner.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18If I got a celeb to the do, in your face, Belinda!
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Bonjour, Monsieur Blanc.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Bonjour, mademoiselle.
0:05:25 > 0:05:29Erm, je suis avoir un soiree.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Je voudrais vous... tu?
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Sorry. Spat!
0:05:37 > 0:05:40Pour le mingling.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43And I can give you a good function.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48No, no, no, I don't mean... Unless...
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Haw-hee-haw!
0:05:51 > 0:05:52Pardon!
0:05:53 > 0:05:55He's going.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Don't go stalking again!
0:05:57 > 0:06:00I'll observe with binoculars at the minimum distance
0:06:00 > 0:06:03as laid down by Barry Manilow's lawyers.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07I presume you're still not speaking to me.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09So, as your superior,
0:06:09 > 0:06:12I would like you to send off this letter to British Gas.
0:06:12 > 0:06:13Thanking you.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18Tripped. I meant to. I meant to go up the stairs like this.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25Right! OK, I can change a duvet cover on my own.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Don't need her help, it's fine.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Stevie!
0:06:32 > 0:06:34I can't find the right corners!
0:06:36 > 0:06:39Stevie! Be my friend again?
0:06:39 > 0:06:42# If somebody's pulling a duvet cover on, she's the one... #
0:06:42 > 0:06:44# She's the one-hoh-hon! #
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Wallet, wallet, where, where, where, where?
0:06:49 > 0:06:51Table, table, table.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Everyone's at odds, odds, odds!
0:06:53 > 0:06:56Seriously now, Stevie, what happens if he says "I love you" again?
0:06:56 > 0:06:58OK, this is code red.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01Amber alert rising to pink, Dogger moving east, showers later.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03That's the shipping forecast!
0:07:03 > 0:07:06You! How do I tell someone I love them?
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Oh, um, write it on a muffin and give it to him.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Well, even if I knew how to make a muffin,
0:07:10 > 0:07:13I wouldn't have time to make a muffin. He's upstairs!
0:07:13 > 0:07:14- I didn't know that!- Think!
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Sorry I shouted. Crazy day.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Um, I... No, I'll tell you later.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23- I love you.- Well, I, erm, I...
0:07:23 > 0:07:25I...
0:07:25 > 0:07:28# Eyes are to see with, noses are to smell with. #
0:07:33 > 0:07:35That was your fault!
0:07:35 > 0:07:38Right, help me workshop why I can't say I love you.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40- Stay and hang.- No, I really should be...- STAY AND HANG!
0:07:40 > 0:07:44Right, well, what springs to mind when I say, "what do you love?"
0:07:44 > 0:07:48Good, liking this. Don't worry, Stevie, I've got a new friend.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53Strutting like a toddler modelling Baby Gap, are we?
0:07:54 > 0:07:57- Right.- OK, what do you love?
0:07:57 > 0:08:00- Doughnuts.- Again, what was your first love?
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Doughnuts.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04More emotional. What makes your heart skip?
0:08:04 > 0:08:05Doughnuts.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07I think I know what this means.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10You're not in love your boyfriend. It's only fair to split up with him.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14What? What? You can't leave me with that!
0:08:14 > 0:08:18Oh, my lovely Mike! I'm going to beanbag.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22Stevie! Stevie!
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Miranda?
0:08:24 > 0:08:27- He said...- All right, calm.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Now, step back! I'm Miranda's number one workshopper.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33She's emotionally constipated and I'm her metaphorical prune.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36She's back. Love oo!
0:08:36 > 0:08:38- Love oo!- Love oo!
0:08:38 > 0:08:39BOTH: No!
0:08:39 > 0:08:43Now, as this suggests,
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Mike is not what makes your heart skip.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48I mean you love him but you're not in love with him.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52That's why you can't say it. I'm right, aren't I?
0:08:52 > 0:08:53Yes.
0:08:53 > 0:08:54Oh, my Marple!
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Now, we need to work out how you'll end it.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59- Can't she just tell him? - Just tell him? This guy!
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Miranda can't be direct. It's a condition.
0:09:02 > 0:09:07I call it Pushy Mother-itis and Acute Englishness-ness-ness-ness.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10She had to write a letter to switch gas suppliers.
0:09:10 > 0:09:11Too scared to ring.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14They make me feel guilty. I end up signed to all protection plans
0:09:14 > 0:09:17and offering them a place to stay if they ever visit from Mumbai.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19I mean to be fair, Raj and Miri were very nice.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Oh, they were lovely.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24I'm going to have to write Mike a letter, it's the only way.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26BOTH: Too mean! Come on. Think and pace.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28- No, I really should... - THINK AND PACE!
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Well, we've run out of options.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38- Well, I've written him that letter. - You can't send that.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Why can't you be less mimsy?
0:09:41 > 0:09:44- What's going on?- She can't be direct because of a pushy mother.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47THEY GASP She loves very much!
0:09:47 > 0:09:50- That's my mother.- Oh, heavens above!
0:09:50 > 0:09:52- Who is this?- BOTH: We don't know.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54I'm not pushy.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Miranda, you are to drop everything and order Mike to help me tonight.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01I can't find Raymond but Mike could get us news coverage for the dinner.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02Isn't that Raymond Blanc?
0:10:02 > 0:10:07Where? Where? Oh, get out of the way!
0:10:09 > 0:10:11- What's going on?- We're workshopping
0:10:11 > 0:10:13because she realises she doesn't love Mike.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Mike Owen! Mike Owen!
0:10:15 > 0:10:18Mark Owen. I don't love Mark Owen.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Nor do I. I love Gary Barlow!
0:10:20 > 0:10:22- That's Mike. - This is a nightmare!
0:10:23 > 0:10:25- She loves Gary Barlow. - I love Mark Owen.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27He loves Mark Owen. I love Robbie Williams.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30We're setting up a Take That tribute band.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35ALL: # Never forget where you're coming from... #
0:10:35 > 0:10:38# Never pretend that it's all real. #
0:10:38 > 0:10:40It's too much.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Right. I forgot I need a tie. I left one here.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47And, er, we need to have a talk at some point.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50Ah, but what does he need to talk about?
0:10:50 > 0:10:53If I'm not mistaken he's got proposey eyes.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Don't be ridiculous, she's splitting up with him.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56Oh, but I'm still mimsy.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58The thought of telling him, he's so gorgeous.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04And the other thing is... Well now it looks like I'm talking to no-one!
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Mike, listen, I need to talk to you actually.
0:11:09 > 0:11:14I love being with you but, erm, I just feel that I need a breather...
0:11:14 > 0:11:17..Breeder. Breeder. Dog breeder.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Horses. Horse dogs.
0:11:19 > 0:11:20I'm going to breed horse dogs.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Yeah. Dogs that you can ride.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Dog dressage. Neigh! Woof!
0:11:28 > 0:11:30Sorry, I'm all over the place like soap in a shower.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34Where is it? Where's the soap? Where has it gone?
0:11:35 > 0:11:39Right, OK, hang on, it says it all there.
0:11:41 > 0:11:47OK, well, it's a bold decision but I understand.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50- You do?- Yeah, if you want to leave British Gas, it's your call.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Wrong letter! Wrong letter!
0:11:52 > 0:11:54BOTH: Wrong letter! Wrong letter!
0:11:54 > 0:11:57Follow him! Emergency walk! Go!
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Mike. Mike. Hi, listen.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09- You know you were talking about working abroad?- Mm-hmm?
0:12:09 > 0:12:12- Well, maybe that's a good idea. - Oh, my...
0:12:12 > 0:12:13I'm so sorry.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16It's Raymond Blanc. I'm a massive fan!
0:12:17 > 0:12:20My name's Michael Jackford...
0:12:27 > 0:12:31Today was meant to be a good day, it had a frisson about it.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34I should go. I don't even know why I'm still here.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36- Hi.- Oh, are you OK?
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Oh, stressed! Um, cooking, deliveries...
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Rose is texting even though we're not together.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45She still wants to come tonight. Listen, I really need your help.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Could you spare a few hours this afternoon?
0:12:47 > 0:12:50- Yeah, sure, I'll come over later. - Oh, thank you, thank you!
0:12:51 > 0:12:55Oh! And by the way, man has put up sign.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58POWER TOOL WHIZZES
0:12:58 > 0:12:59Don't laugh.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03I wouldn't laugh. It's one of the reasons I love you.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05What did you just say?
0:13:05 > 0:13:08I just said "I love you" but I mean, just flippantly. Like I say it to you.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11Well, that's where you're mistaken, my massive friend.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14We say it in a silly way. Look, tell me you love me.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Love oo.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Please say you're finally getting this. What truly makes your heart skip?
0:13:21 > 0:13:22Gary.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24How do you see Mike?
0:13:25 > 0:13:27There we go.
0:13:30 > 0:13:31How do you see Gary?
0:13:33 > 0:13:37MUSIC: "Relax" by Frankie Goes To Hollywood
0:13:37 > 0:13:39THEY SNARL
0:13:44 > 0:13:47Who do you love?
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Gary. I'm in love with Gary!
0:13:49 > 0:13:52Yes! I've waited three years for this. She said "I love you".
0:13:52 > 0:13:53To who?
0:13:53 > 0:13:57Gary. I love Gary! I'm in love with Gary!
0:13:57 > 0:13:58Who's Gary?
0:13:58 > 0:14:03THEY SING: # I'm on the top of the world looking down on creation... #
0:14:03 > 0:14:04Who's Gary?
0:14:04 > 0:14:07# And the only explanation I can find... #
0:14:07 > 0:14:09I demand to know who Gary is!
0:14:09 > 0:14:12- He's an old friend from uni. - She's always loved him.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14- I want to tell him. Do you think he feels the same?- Of course he does!
0:14:14 > 0:14:17The minute Mike told you he loved you, I clocked Gary's face.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19# And the love that I've found... #
0:14:19 > 0:14:22But wait, wait! You have to split up with Mike before you tell Gary.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25- Oh, how?- Focus. Knock out your mimsy.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29- Hope that's not a euphemism! - Concentrate! Love is at stake.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31This is serious now!
0:14:32 > 0:14:34I am a direct woman.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38I am soft, strong and very, very long... No, that's loo paper!
0:14:38 > 0:14:42- Hi, I got your text.- Great - listen, I need to speak to you. Um, OK.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45Right, here is the thing, Mike.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48You are an amazing man and a wonderful boyfriend,
0:14:48 > 0:14:49but I have to end...
0:14:49 > 0:14:50TEXT ALERT
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Oh! Sorry. Oh, it's Dad.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Oh, no! Daisy's gone. Oh!
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Sorry, I know she's only a dog, but I'm going to have to go.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02- Sorry, what were you saying? - Oh, it's not important now.
0:15:02 > 0:15:03Something about having to end.
0:15:03 > 0:15:08Having to end a contract with BT and move to a new broadband package.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10That's what you wanted to tell me?
0:15:10 > 0:15:12It's been very difficult, Mike!
0:15:14 > 0:15:17This is getting out of control. I'm having to act!
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Aah, Mike, she's told you.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23About moving to a new broadband package, yes!
0:15:23 > 0:15:28- Oh, yes, yes, tough times. - Mike's upset because his dog just died just now.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32- Oh, that is so annoying! Typical. Isn't that annoying?- Who's this?
0:15:32 > 0:15:34BOTH: We don't know.
0:15:34 > 0:15:38I was about to say it. I'm ready to explode, like an emotional balloon.
0:15:38 > 0:15:43Calm, you don't need to tell Gary now. The only reason to panic was if Rose was getting her claws in.
0:15:43 > 0:15:47- She's been texting! - He's not interested, so wait till Mike feels better!
0:15:47 > 0:15:48Who's Rose?
0:15:48 > 0:15:53- Is everything all right? - She's an emotional balloon because she's in love with Gary.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56- Gary Barlow! She loves Gary Barlow. - I love Gary Barlow.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00- That's Gary!- Why does it keep happening?- She loves Robbie Williams.
0:16:00 > 0:16:04I love Mark Owen. We're a Take That Tribute band.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06ALL: # Relight my fire... #
0:16:06 > 0:16:09# Your love is my only desi... #
0:16:11 > 0:16:14- Lovely. Miranda - just a quick one. - Yes, please!
0:16:17 > 0:16:20I thought you were coming to help? You clearly didn't mean it, so you know what?
0:16:20 > 0:16:21Don't bother, Rose is coming.
0:16:21 > 0:16:22THEY SHRIEK
0:16:22 > 0:16:24What?!
0:16:28 > 0:16:31I couldn't love him more. Stupid Rose!
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Now, I demand to know who Rose is.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35BOTH: Gary's ex. Keep up!
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Well, you have to tell Gary now. Rose can't get there first.
0:16:39 > 0:16:43You can't miss the one thing that makes you happiest in the world.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45If I had a chance with my Gary I'd have...
0:16:45 > 0:16:50SHE SINGS: # One night, one night in heaven... #
0:16:50 > 0:16:54- Oh, well. You have done yourself proud with this.- I know.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57OK, I'm going to tell him. Febreze me out.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Oh, we're not open till seven, sorry.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09- It's me.- Oh, hi.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12Hi. Listen, I'm so sorry I let you down earlier
0:17:12 > 0:17:16but by way of an apology I want to tell you that...
0:17:16 > 0:17:20well, Gary, I know I've being seeing Mike, but I realise now that...
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Gary Preston...
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Oh, my. Miranda, I don't believe it.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Well, let me say it.
0:17:28 > 0:17:29It's Raymond Blanc!
0:17:31 > 0:17:34Raymond bloody Blanc!
0:17:34 > 0:17:36I'll Michel Roux the day I ever met you!
0:17:36 > 0:17:41Oh! That was quite clever, wasn't it? You keep messing up my life.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44And I am hiding from a crazy woman.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48Mr Blanc, Mr Blanc, hello, ooh, sorry, a bit starstruck,
0:17:48 > 0:17:52it's actually my restaurant opening tonight, do you think you might be able to come?
0:17:52 > 0:17:55Actually I'm looking for a restaurant to meet a friend tonight.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Amazing!
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Non, non, non!
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Raymond!
0:18:02 > 0:18:07Come to mon tennis dinner!
0:18:07 > 0:18:13I have no idea who this woman is. Such fun!
0:18:14 > 0:18:17Ray ruddy White!
0:18:17 > 0:18:19I have to get in there before Rose.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23She romances Gary. She gets him with sweeping gestures.
0:18:23 > 0:18:24BOTH: Think!
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Ooh, you've got to out-Rose Rose.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Oh, yes! Romance is my area.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32I'm thinking picnic, champers, doves.
0:18:32 > 0:18:36Such is my allure, I naturally woo with every sense.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39The smell of my skin, the touch of my clothes,
0:18:39 > 0:18:40the sight of my cleavage.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42Excuse me, I am the woo-er here!
0:18:42 > 0:18:45Well, I thought you were desperate for my help, but do go on.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Fine, I will - I can do this, I can woo with my every sense.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50The touch of my clothes, the, what was it?
0:18:50 > 0:18:54The smell of my underwear, the sound of my cleavage.
0:18:54 > 0:18:55OK, that's wrong. You do it!
0:18:55 > 0:18:59- Meet Gary in the park in two hours. - This is the best day of my life!
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Bit weird.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06When did it get so hard to sit on the floor?
0:19:09 > 0:19:10Hi!
0:19:10 > 0:19:12What's all this? I thought I was meeting Stevie.
0:19:12 > 0:19:16It's a gesture. From me. Not Stevie.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18Well, that's very kind but I'm really busy.
0:19:18 > 0:19:19Look, Gary, wait, wait.
0:19:21 > 0:19:27Well, I thought you might need a break and I wanted to say I'm so sorry about not helping.
0:19:27 > 0:19:28HE SIGHS
0:19:28 > 0:19:30OK. All right. Thank you.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Can you hear music?
0:19:39 > 0:19:42No. No. No, look, um, look down.
0:19:42 > 0:19:43Look at this cream!
0:19:43 > 0:19:45What? I don't want to look at...
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Really closely, Gary. Oh, sorry.
0:19:48 > 0:19:49Thank you.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Sorry. Sorry, cream nose.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57GEESE SQUAWK
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Where did the geese come from?!
0:20:03 > 0:20:04Help!
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Ooh, they are scary.
0:20:07 > 0:20:11- Stevie!- I couldn't get doves!
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Is this your idea of a joke?
0:20:21 > 0:20:22They've gone.
0:20:22 > 0:20:23GEESE SQUAWK
0:20:23 > 0:20:25They're back!
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Ooh, they are scary!
0:20:28 > 0:20:30It's the hissing!
0:20:32 > 0:20:34I was trying to tell you something.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Oh, Miranda, only you. Just tell me!
0:20:37 > 0:20:39OK. Oh, I can't look at you!
0:20:39 > 0:20:42What? Oh, this is important, isn't it?
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Just let me just get this cream from out of my nose.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Hi. OK, listen. Here's the thing.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55And I'm sorry I've been going about it in such a roundabout way,
0:20:55 > 0:20:59particularly as I've never been so certain of anything in my life.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03I am absolutely, ridiculously,
0:21:03 > 0:21:07embarrassingly in love with you.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09SHE SCREAMS
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Oh! Mike!
0:21:11 > 0:21:14And I was only going to say guess who?
0:21:14 > 0:21:16- OK, what is it?- Moment's gone!
0:21:16 > 0:21:17I've been waiting to hear that.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21Well, it's lucky you were here then. Why were you here then?
0:21:21 > 0:21:24- Oh, Mike, now, about my dinner. - Oh, mother!
0:21:24 > 0:21:27Penny, there is something I need to ask Miranda's father.
0:21:27 > 0:21:28Proposey eyes!
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Oh, table! I've just laid that!
0:21:30 > 0:21:33He wants to speak to your father. Oh, darling!
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Oh, no! It's Rose.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Do something!
0:21:43 > 0:21:45How does that help?
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Well, I'm clearly in the way, I didn't realise you two were...
0:21:48 > 0:21:52- Yeah. So, you know, bye.- Wait, I don't even know why she kissed me!
0:21:52 > 0:21:55Well, it looked pretty passionate to me, you lingered.
0:21:55 > 0:21:56Agreed m'lord, there was lingering.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58- I thought there was lingering. - Who are you?
0:21:58 > 0:21:59I don't know.
0:22:01 > 0:22:02BOTH: You both lingered!
0:22:02 > 0:22:04BOTH: We did not linger!
0:22:05 > 0:22:06- Rose!- Miranda!
0:22:06 > 0:22:09Sweeping out.
0:22:09 > 0:22:10Oh, ice!
0:22:10 > 0:22:12You know when you nearly go, I nearly went.
0:22:12 > 0:22:13Oh, I've gone!
0:22:15 > 0:22:16You kissed my Gary.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18How would you like it if I kissed yours?
0:22:18 > 0:22:21I'm going to get my own back and snog Gary Barlow.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23- OK, that's never going to happen. - I was trying to get rid of her.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25Well, you shouldn't have interfered.
0:22:25 > 0:22:29Didn't want to but "Stevie, I can't cope, we're a sofa and a little pouffe".
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Right, you, whatever your name is,
0:22:44 > 0:22:46I bequeath you the status of my new best friend.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Oh, it's too much!
0:22:48 > 0:22:51- Change the duvet with me, please. - Oh, now!
0:22:53 > 0:22:58Darling, darling. Mike's just spoken to your father. He's going to propose.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59You will say yes?
0:22:59 > 0:23:01No, she can't marry a man she doesn't really love.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04What she needs is someone who knows her and gets her.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06What she needs is someone who doesn't know her
0:23:06 > 0:23:09and will only know what he's getting when it's too late!
0:23:09 > 0:23:10Am I here? I think I'm here.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Miranda? >
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Hide, hide, hide! Hide.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18Hide... Hi-de-hi!
0:23:18 > 0:23:19Hi, can we talk?
0:23:19 > 0:23:22Yeah, sure, um, what would you like to talk about?
0:23:22 > 0:23:25I'm worried about the Greek economy. Discuss.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29THEY GASP
0:23:29 > 0:23:34SHE GASPS THEN SINGS
0:23:37 > 0:23:39What are you doing?
0:23:39 > 0:23:40Tying my shoelace.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43- Phew!- Sugar!
0:23:43 > 0:23:47- What?- Few sugars I shall make in your tea now for you. Yes.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Is that a barn owl?
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Just forget about the tea. Will you just sit for one moment?
0:23:57 > 0:24:00- You're so skittish today. - Like a little pony.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05So listen, I know we've only been seeing each other for a few weeks
0:24:05 > 0:24:08but I've been thinking about the future.
0:24:08 > 0:24:09KNOCK AT DOOR
0:24:09 > 0:24:11Hi, can I speak to Miranda, please?
0:24:11 > 0:24:17- Yes.- Oh, hi, I'm from BT. I'm really sorry you're not happy at the moment.- Oh, listen, I did mean it.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21It's not you, it's me, I just want to be with someone else. Bye.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24- Yay, mimsy-less!- Disappointing!
0:24:24 > 0:24:26What are you doing here?
0:24:26 > 0:24:29They are here to wish me well, er, for letting go of BT.
0:24:29 > 0:24:30So why were you in the bathroom?
0:24:30 > 0:24:34We urgently needed the loo. We didn't go together.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37- I went first.- I followed through.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40OK. Bye then, guys. Thanks so much for coming.
0:24:40 > 0:24:44Look, I don't know what's going on here but will you just listen to me before I burst?
0:24:44 > 0:24:47- Wait, Mike, listen, I'm in love with...- I've taken a job in Africa.
0:24:48 > 0:24:49What?
0:24:49 > 0:24:52But I mean, after what you said at the restaurant, just say if you don't want me to go.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Oh, no, you must go, it's what you've always wanted.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59- What were you..? You're in love with..?- In love with TalkTalk for my new ISP.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05I have never known a family so emotional about service providers.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Oh, I'll miss you, Marple.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Oh, I'll miss you so much, Quirky, but let's talk, yeah?
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Yeah. Bye.
0:25:13 > 0:25:14Bye.
0:25:23 > 0:25:24Alone again.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26You've got me!
0:25:33 > 0:25:34Why aren't you at the tennis club?
0:25:34 > 0:25:37One glimpse of Belinda's smug face
0:25:37 > 0:25:41that it was a celeb and press-free, mediocre event and I abandoned.
0:25:42 > 0:25:46Oh, Raymond's here! Evening, Mr Blanc, thank you for coming.
0:25:46 > 0:25:47Your table is over 'ere.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52Pretend you're enjoying yourself for Gary.
0:25:52 > 0:25:53FAKE LAUGHTER
0:25:55 > 0:25:56What are you doing?!
0:25:56 > 0:25:58We're creating ambience.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01- Can you just stay out of it, please? - Why are you so angry with me?
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Shush, Raymond is behind you!
0:26:03 > 0:26:05I don't care about Raymond. He ruined my day.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08And you ruined mine. The one day I needed your help.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Well, maybe I had urgent things to do.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12What, like rehearse a Take That tribute band?
0:26:13 > 0:26:16You know, there's always something with you, isn't there?
0:26:16 > 0:26:19On the one day I was struggling and needed your help like you always do,
0:26:19 > 0:26:22your issues are still more important although they very rarely are!
0:26:22 > 0:26:25- They WERE more important!- Oh, what?
0:26:25 > 0:26:26What was more important?
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Splitting up with my boyfriend and telling you I'm completely
0:26:29 > 0:26:32and utterly head over heels in love with you, I love you!
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Oh, that's embarrassing.
0:26:41 > 0:26:45Do something more embarrassing so it won't seem so embarrassing.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50# I'm a little coconut, ugly and hairy
0:26:50 > 0:26:54# But when you split me open I ooze milk and nut... #
0:26:55 > 0:27:00No, that's worse. I have no idea who this woman is.
0:27:00 > 0:27:04Right, I'm just going to flush myself down a plug hole.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07You'll never guess who's here to meet Raymond.
0:27:19 > 0:27:24Mr Gary Barlow, would you make an appearance at my tennis club dinner?
0:27:24 > 0:27:26For you, anything.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31Take that, Blanc, we've got Barlow!
0:27:33 > 0:27:34Mr Gary Barlow.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46I lingered!
0:27:46 > 0:27:48Yes!
0:27:50 > 0:27:53He didn't say it back, he could have said it back.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55You've got me.
0:27:55 > 0:27:57BOTH: Love oo.
0:27:57 > 0:28:01And me. And our band. Take That's on karaoke.
0:28:03 > 0:28:08# Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it
0:28:08 > 0:28:10# I just want you back for good
0:28:10 > 0:28:12# Want you back, want you back
0:28:12 > 0:28:16# I want you back for good
0:28:16 > 0:28:20# Whenever I'm wrong, just tell me the song and I'll sing it
0:28:20 > 0:28:22# You'll be right and understood
0:28:22 > 0:28:25# Want you back, want you back
0:28:25 > 0:28:28# I want you back for good
0:28:29 > 0:28:32# Unaware but underlined
0:28:32 > 0:28:35# Figured out the story
0:28:35 > 0:28:38# No, no, it wasn't good
0:28:38 > 0:28:41# No, no... #
0:28:41 > 0:28:43- You will have to leave at some point.- Yeah.
0:28:43 > 0:28:47# I celebrated glory
0:28:47 > 0:28:52# But that was not to be
0:28:52 > 0:28:55# In the twist of separation
0:28:55 > 0:28:58# You excelled at being free
0:28:58 > 0:29:04# Can't you find a little room inside for me
0:29:04 > 0:29:08# Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it... #
0:29:08 > 0:29:11Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd