:01:41. > :01:45.This programme contains strong Hello and welcome to Mock The Week.
:01:45. > :01:55.I'm Dara O Briain. Joining me this week are Andy Parsons, Ed Byrne and
:01:55. > :01:57.
:01:57. > :02:00.Alun Cochrane. Chris Addison, Hugh We start with a round called
:02:00. > :02:05.Headliners. Here's a picture of Labour's two Eds, Miliband and
:02:05. > :02:11.Balls, but what does MFIB stand for? Is it Miliband fondles
:02:11. > :02:20.invisible buttocks. Is Miliband, so dull that the headline is, in fact,
:02:20. > :02:23.massive flag in background. Is it Martian freak invades Britain.
:02:23. > :02:33.he apologising to Young Labour for their poll ratings, saying, my
:02:33. > :02:40.fault, innit, bruv. Is it just simply MFI Bollocks. Why would they
:02:40. > :02:44.use that picture. To randomly take on MFI? Two wooden characters.
:02:44. > :02:48.Let's have a go at one of those that's got nothing to do with the
:02:48. > :02:54.picture. Why can't we just say - My fanny is burning. A sentence that
:02:54. > :03:00.goes with MFIB. By the look of the flag he's trying to knock some
:03:00. > :03:04.sense into a BNP Rally. Is he saying, Mo Farah is black. Hang on,
:03:04. > :03:08.that Mo Farah is British. I can understand him trying to convince
:03:08. > :03:11.them of that but surely he doesn't have to convince even the BNP that
:03:12. > :03:15.Mo Farah is black. They are in serious denial. I mean this summer
:03:15. > :03:19.has been very very difficult for them. A white man went very well in
:03:19. > :03:25.the 5,000 metres. What are you talking about? I think its quite
:03:25. > :03:29.simple is it man focuses in background. Is he trying to appeal,
:03:29. > :03:33.you know to trying to show himself to be a bit more down to earth, and
:03:33. > :03:38.he's going: Majorca, Faliraki, Ibiza, brilliant. Can we move
:03:38. > :03:42.towards a correct answer please. Mowgli's friend is Baloo. Is it
:03:42. > :03:45.Martin Freeman is Bilbo. No, its not, the M stands for Miliband so
:03:45. > :03:52.it's, Miliband something something battle. Miliband fears irritating
:03:52. > :03:57.battle. No, no. Irritable bowel. think its Miliband fights image
:03:57. > :04:03.battle. Very good, thank you very much, Hugh Dennis.
:04:03. > :04:07.APPLAUSE. OK, the answer I was looking for
:04:07. > :04:10.was Miliband Fights Image Battle. This is the news that Ed Miliband
:04:10. > :04:12.has launched a campaign to make himself better known to voters,
:04:12. > :04:16.embracing his geek image and comprehensive school education. It
:04:16. > :04:19.comes in a week when one poll suggested 63 per cent of the
:04:19. > :04:23.electorate do not see him as a future Prime Minister. The poll
:04:23. > :04:25.actually said though, it said people didn't regard him as Prime
:04:25. > :04:29.ministerial as David Cameron. You think that's really probably not
:04:29. > :04:33.much of a surprise because David Cameron is, in fact, the Prime
:04:33. > :04:37.Minister. Yes. We need to be a bit careful throwing stones about Ed
:04:37. > :04:40.Miliband appearing like a bit of a dork. If there are seven men on
:04:40. > :04:44.television who don't need to be throwing stones in this particular
:04:44. > :04:47.glasshouse. It's this seven man up you to the survival of the fittest
:04:47. > :04:52.thing. This is not only the pot calling the kettle black. This is
:04:52. > :04:59.the kettle calling another kettle a kettle. To be fair only one of us
:04:59. > :05:02.has a programme about maths. Yes. What policies have Labour touted at
:05:02. > :05:06.their Conference this week? He's promised more help for first-time
:05:06. > :05:14.buyers and my parents helped me buy my first flat. I can't thank them
:05:14. > :05:24.enough, it turns out. He wants to cut stamp duty, doesn't he, to
:05:24. > :05:27.
:05:27. > :05:30.promote growth. Yeah. It might work. I mean, what was Cameron's best
:05:30. > :05:33.idea to promote growth? Everybody should build a conservatory and
:05:33. > :05:43.you're thinking that is not going to kick start the British economy.
:05:43. > :05:44.
:05:44. > :05:47.It might kick start the Polish economy. They're going to sell 4G..
:05:47. > :05:51.People talk about this thing, but they might they might as well go,
:05:51. > :05:54.and we shall sell the nation's returns of unobtanium. And the
:05:54. > :05:57.money we would receive from that. Miliband said that they were going
:05:57. > :06:01.to break up the banks which is actually a policy that genuinely
:06:02. > :06:05.could solve the financial crisis as long as they go back in time and do
:06:05. > :06:09.it before 2008. The one banking reform that I would like to see is
:06:09. > :06:14.the people who work at the Halifax - stop pissing about at that radio
:06:14. > :06:18.station and do some work. Do you not think If they did break up the
:06:18. > :06:23.banks that Miliband is the sort of bloke who would just end up with a
:06:23. > :06:28.pen with one of those little chains on it. Here is a picture of Shadow
:06:29. > :06:32.Chancellor Ed Balls, but can anyone give me a phrase to sum this up? Is
:06:32. > :06:36.he just thinking to himself, why, when my name is Balls, do I keep
:06:36. > :06:39.having photographs like these? Yes it is Mr Ed Balls playing football,
:06:39. > :06:42.playing football in a match between MPs and journalists at the
:06:42. > :06:46.Conference. Apart from playing football, what else has Ed Balls
:06:46. > :06:49.been doing recently? He's a politician. He's been sickening
:06:49. > :06:56.normal people everywhere by learning to play the piano. At what
:06:56. > :07:01.level? Grade one. Grade one, yes. Grade one is recognising that that
:07:01. > :07:07.that's not a piano. This is a trick test. That's not a piano - you've
:07:07. > :07:12.passed. I reckon he just heard mention of chopsticks and he
:07:12. > :07:16.thought there might be some food availabe. It would be good to learn
:07:16. > :07:20.to play chopsticks. That will be handy for when he's Chancellor and
:07:20. > :07:22.has to beg money off the Chinese. Do you think he will go to the
:07:22. > :07:27.Chinese and go, ah, honourable Chinese President.
:07:27. > :07:35.DARA MIMES PLAYING PIANO. They'll go, you took an interest in
:07:35. > :07:41.our culture. Sh. That's as much as I know. I think he would have lost
:07:41. > :07:45.them with Honourable Chinese President. Opening with that.
:07:45. > :07:50.not in the Diplomatic Corps. What are you saying? It would be like
:07:50. > :07:56.arriving in the Congo with a crate of Um Bongo. I hope you will enjoy
:07:56. > :08:00.this beverage. We are told this is all you drink here. Here in the
:08:00. > :08:05.Congo, which has been renamed for how long? It is now called the
:08:05. > :08:08.Democratic Republic of Um Bongo. the way, who did he do the test
:08:08. > :08:10.with? Lots of five and six-year-old children. Six-year-old children.
:08:10. > :08:14.Six-year-old child, six-year-old child, Ed Balls, six-year-old child
:08:14. > :08:19.As a six-year-old child you'd be thinking, you'd be told as you wait
:08:19. > :08:22.in that room, if you fail this you're coming back again. And then
:08:22. > :08:28.a 45-year-old, even as a six-year- old you're thinking, Oh, my God,
:08:29. > :08:35.this guy's an idiot. They take this shit seriously round here. Please
:08:35. > :08:39.let me go, please don't make me do the exam again. I do in a way think
:08:39. > :08:43.it's commendable that he's done it and he's got to have a release. But
:08:43. > :08:47.I also think it's a really bad thing for a busy politician to do
:08:47. > :08:50.in a sort of connecting with the people way because people who have
:08:50. > :08:55.got normal jobs are going, Well, I haven't got time to learn the
:08:55. > :08:59.fucking piano, I haven't got time. I should really do what Cameron
:08:59. > :09:03.does just get pissed and lose his kids and stuff like that. And then
:09:03. > :09:06.people are like, Aye, he's one of mine. In other news, what did David
:09:06. > :09:14.Cameron do recently that no other serving British Prime Minister has
:09:14. > :09:18.ever done? Samantha Cameron. also went on Letterman. In the
:09:18. > :09:21.States, didn't he. Letterman was trying to trip him up by asking him
:09:22. > :09:26.about British history, which is tricky because we have got a lot
:09:26. > :09:30.more of it than they have. American history exams are really easy. They
:09:30. > :09:34.just have questions like, on what date was September the 11th? He did
:09:34. > :09:37.do all right, but he didn't know what Magna Carta meant when in fact
:09:37. > :09:40.what he should have said obviously is, what Magna Carta means is that
:09:40. > :09:48.we had civilised democratic government some 200 years before
:09:48. > :09:52.your country was discovered. Also I'd imagine that had he said
:09:52. > :09:55.that it wouldn't quite have gone as well as an appearance as he would
:09:55. > :10:00.have liked. David Cameron was on a complete charm offensive. Look at
:10:00. > :10:04.you, you small poxy country. I don't care what he says - we're
:10:04. > :10:08.older than you. Older, feel my history. He could also have gone,
:10:08. > :10:16.you say your name is Letterman. In my country we would call you
:10:16. > :10:23.Postman. He wasn't going on as a Bond villain. From where I'm from,
:10:23. > :10:26.that would be called cheek. "Kill him now." They love us as villains.
:10:26. > :10:30.They always have English people as villains. They don't know who he is.
:10:30. > :10:37.This was an... We could have sent anybody. We should have sent Alan
:10:37. > :10:41.Rickman. "Hello." Do you know what he came out to... I know what he
:10:41. > :10:45.came out to - he came out to loads of dry ice and they said it
:10:45. > :10:48.represented a London fog when we haven't had a London fog for over
:10:48. > :10:55.100 years. That's the stereotype image that those Americans believe
:10:55. > :10:59.the fat dumb rednecks. APPLAUSE.
:10:59. > :11:06.The closest we've apparently got to a London fog is Boris Johnson at
:11:06. > :11:09.the moment, either that or Amy Childs from The Only Way Is Essex.
:11:09. > :11:13.What Boris Johnson did say was that he got it wrong deliberately
:11:13. > :11:19.because he didn't want to seem like he'd had Latin coming out of every
:11:19. > :11:22.orifice. Now that sounds creepy, doesn't it? The thing about Borish
:11:22. > :11:26.Johnson though is everybody thinks that he is quintessentially English
:11:26. > :11:29.but in fact he was born in America, named after a Russian, and looks
:11:29. > :11:35.like a Swedish person who's eaten another Swedish person.
:11:35. > :11:41.APPLAUSE. At the end of that round the points
:11:42. > :11:45.go to Chris, Hugh and Gary. Our next round is called Newsreel. We
:11:45. > :11:49.play in a recent piece of footage featuring people in the news and
:11:49. > :11:52.ask Hugh to suggest what might be being said. This week's clip
:11:52. > :11:56.features the Prince of Wales. God, it's Margaret Beckett, isn't
:11:56. > :11:59.it, from the first Labour government. Do you know I'm
:11:59. > :12:04.beginning to wonder how recent this footage actually is. Lovely, a
:12:04. > :12:09.train in a box. Mummy normally just gives me a Twix and a lump of
:12:09. > :12:13.organic cheese. Never mind. Stick that on eBay. This will be your
:12:13. > :12:17.driver, Dave. Hello, Dave. How do you drive this thing do you... I
:12:17. > :12:23.bet you've got a tale or two to tell. You're right it has been
:12:23. > :12:30.hairy a couple of times. I quite fancy doing your job.
:12:30. > :12:33.And I quite fancy doing your job. That's not going to fucking happen.
:12:33. > :12:36.Can I have a go? No, I'm afraid it's against
:12:36. > :12:40.regulations. Is it, is it, now Dave, think very
:12:40. > :12:45.carefully. Yes, I think that's the right
:12:45. > :12:48.answer. I think that's the right answer. Nobody wants to be force
:12:48. > :12:53.fed organic biscuits. Anyway let's have some fun. This is an
:12:53. > :12:56.impression. This is the British economy. It's going backwards.
:12:56. > :13:03.Don't worry, I understand about trains. Now tell me, Dave, can this
:13:03. > :13:06.go sideways? It only goes backwards and forwards.
:13:06. > :13:10.Why don't we just concentrate on just driving the train. Sir, just
:13:10. > :13:15.push the lever forward. Oh, it's a lever, is it? I thought
:13:15. > :13:20.it was an enormous Liquorice Allsort. What do I do, just push it
:13:20. > :13:26.forwards? Oh yes, look, we're going. This is a piece of piss, Dave.
:13:26. > :13:33.You're stealing a living. Hang on - my arm's stuck. My arm's locked.
:13:33. > :13:41.David, I can't stop. My arm's locked, my arm's locked. Oh, my God.
:13:41. > :13:49.I'm out of control - I can't stop. I got you there, didn't I, Dave.
:13:49. > :13:56.Well done, Hugh Dennis. Now we play a round called Wakey wakey, Rory
:13:57. > :14:00.Mock-Ilroy. This game involves Ed and Gary. So, if you could make
:14:00. > :14:03.your way to the performance area, please. This round is a stand-up
:14:03. > :14:07.challenge. I launch the wheel of news and wherever it chooses to
:14:07. > :14:10.stop, one of our performers must step forward and talk about that
:14:10. > :14:13.subject. The winner is whoever I think is the funniest. OK, here we
:14:13. > :14:20.go. Let's have the first topic please. The first subject is
:14:20. > :14:24.Parenting. I'll take this. We have two children in our house. Two boys.
:14:24. > :14:29.One is four months old and the other is 21 months old. Yeah. We
:14:29. > :14:39.didn't want there to be too big a gap so my wife had them both by
:14:39. > :14:44.
:14:44. > :14:47.The four month old, he's already more of a man than I've ever been.
:14:47. > :14:51.Because he's already mastered the art of the casual vomit, something
:14:51. > :14:55.I could never do. When I'm sick it's a biblical event, its coming
:14:55. > :14:59.out of my nose, pulling muscles in my back. But he's so cool with it,
:14:59. > :15:03.he'll look at you and make you think you just did it. What's this?
:15:03. > :15:07.That was you. Don't think so. It's amazing the pressure that can build
:15:07. > :15:11.up in a small child. The puke flies out and the piss flies out and the
:15:11. > :15:16.shit. Honestly, if I was to feed him creosote instead of milk I
:15:16. > :15:20.could do my fence with him. The thing that I was careful about,
:15:20. > :15:24.even though I had two boys I didn't name either of them after me
:15:24. > :15:28.because I didn't want to have that Big Ed and Little Ed thing. Cos
:15:28. > :15:31.when you call one of your sons Little Ed it just sounds too much
:15:31. > :15:36.like you're talking about your cock. Oh, Little Ed's been misbehaving.
:15:36. > :15:39.It just seems a bit, oh, honey, would you just hold Little Ed?
:15:39. > :15:46.Would you hold Little Ed for a minute? Oh, Little Ed's been sick
:15:46. > :15:50.on you. Thank you very much. APPLAUSE.
:15:50. > :15:57.OK, that leaves us with Gary. Let's see what you've been left with. OK,
:15:57. > :16:01.spin the wheel. The topic is Celebrity. Celebrity. They've
:16:01. > :16:06.started a Celebrity magazine for the elderly. It's called Hello,
:16:06. > :16:15.hello, hello. Uri Geller, surprisingly hard to stab.
:16:16. > :16:19.LAUGHTER. Malcolm X chose that name rather
:16:19. > :16:22.than admit that he'd accidentally put a kiss at the end of a text
:16:22. > :16:26.message. LAUGHTER.
:16:26. > :16:33.I went to see Walt Disney On Ice. Bit disappointing - it was just an
:16:33. > :16:36.old bloke in a freezer. LAUGHTER.
:16:36. > :16:39.The new President of France said this week that English speakers
:16:39. > :16:44.were arrogant in their refusal to learn foreign languages. At least I
:16:44. > :16:54.think that's what he said. But it all just sounded like haw he haw,
:16:54. > :17:11.
:17:11. > :17:14.haw he haw. Apparently, that's not When they buried the man who
:17:14. > :17:17.invented Tetris, the whole cemetery disappeared. As well as seven years
:17:17. > :17:21.in prison here, Abu Hamza could be deported to the United States,
:17:21. > :17:24.where he could face the electric chair. But on the plus side, if he
:17:24. > :17:29.is electrocuted, at least he can just stick his hook in the air and
:17:29. > :17:36.pretend to be a bumper car. Well done, Gary there. Points for both
:17:36. > :17:40.of you, come on back. Our next round is called If this is the
:17:40. > :17:43.Answer, What Is The Question? On the board are six categories. Gary,
:17:43. > :17:46.which category would you like? would like sport, please. OK, the
:17:46. > :17:51.category is sport, and the answer is14 and half, what is the
:17:51. > :17:56.question? Is it how many weeks does it now take Mickey Rourke to get an
:17:56. > :18:06.erection? Is it what glass slipper size... What glass slipper size
:18:06. > :18:09.
:18:09. > :18:17.would have made Prince Charming go, Is it how many pubes do the band
:18:17. > :18:27.One Direction have? Is it how many months does Wayne Rooney think
:18:27. > :18:35.there are in a year? Is it how many shades of grey are there really?
:18:35. > :18:37.How many minutes did it take to write Gangnam Style? How many pints
:18:37. > :18:47.would the seven dwarves get through...if Snow White was there
:18:47. > :18:49.
:18:49. > :18:54.and all of them were driving? Get that, eh, get the maths of that.
:18:54. > :18:58.don't get it, I don't get it. pints each to be under the limit,
:18:58. > :19:08.plus a half for the lady. Is it how far into Jamie Oliver's 15-minute
:19:08. > :19:12.
:19:12. > :19:22.meals did I realise I didn't have How many hairs has Dara got left?
:19:22. > :19:26.Aw! That's cruel. Comedy doesn't need to be cruel like that. Is it
:19:26. > :19:30.in fact, how many points did the European Ryder Cup team get? Very
:19:30. > :19:36.good, Andy Parsons. Yes, the question I was looking for was,
:19:36. > :19:38.what was Europe's winning score in the Ryder Cup? This is the news
:19:39. > :19:41.that Europe's golfers retained the Ryder Cup after producing a
:19:41. > :19:44.stunning comeback in a tense and exciting final day in Chicago.
:19:44. > :19:47.After trailing the United States 10-6 after two days' play, they
:19:47. > :19:51.produced an outstanding performance to win by 14 and a half points to
:19:51. > :19:54.the United States's 13 and a half points. Did you watch it? Yeah, it
:19:54. > :19:58.was brilliant, wasn't it? The course was all set up, of course,
:19:58. > :20:01.for the Americans. They had very long fairways for their big hitters,
:20:01. > :20:05.not too much rough, so they could play their iron shots, and very few
:20:05. > :20:08.female spectators to distract Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods, of course, who
:20:08. > :20:13.lost the foursomes, which came as a surprise, because he'd had so much
:20:13. > :20:18.practice. I've never seen such a thrilling game of golf, and I
:20:18. > :20:21.didn't see this one either. Don't you love the American names,
:20:21. > :20:25.though? Because that's what I like most about it. Their captain is
:20:25. > :20:29.called Davis Love III. That is a great name, but do I need to know
:20:29. > :20:35.that, that you love the third? I love the 18th, but I don't go on
:20:35. > :20:41.about it. I'd like Dara to say it, though. What, Davis Love III? You
:20:41. > :20:48.wanted me to say "de turd" and then dance with a pig under my arm.
:20:48. > :20:50.is exactly what I want. By the way, the Americans were 10-6 up, which
:20:50. > :20:53.was until then an historically unassailable practically when
:20:53. > :20:56.playing away from home, but they had a rousing speech the night
:20:56. > :20:59.before. George W Bush on the Saturday night, when it looked like
:20:59. > :21:03.the fight was won, George W Bush came along and said the fight was
:21:03. > :21:07.won, and then the next day the fight was lost. How unlike George W
:21:08. > :21:10.Bush to say that the fight was won and then it turns out it's not! The
:21:11. > :21:14.US team can count themselves lucky that they're not still on the
:21:14. > :21:18.course in bunkers doing that with mortars flying over their heads.
:21:18. > :21:21.Bush walks out and goes, "Mission accomplished!" Cut to two years
:21:21. > :21:26.later, "Well, we hope to get our golfers out at some stage, bring
:21:26. > :21:31.them back for Christmas, that's what we're hoping." Who needed a
:21:31. > :21:35.police car to take him to the first tee? Rory McIlroy! Yes, you're
:21:35. > :21:38.absolutely right. His excuse was that the coverage on the telly was
:21:38. > :21:46.timed as being on Eastern time, when in fact he was in Illinois, so
:21:46. > :21:50.there was an hour's difference. But the fact is, he was still watching
:21:50. > :21:54.the Ryder Cup on the telly. He was still there going, "What's on? Golf,
:21:54. > :21:56.I love golf. What are these people up to? There's a lot of people
:21:56. > :22:01.standing around looking at their watches..." "Hey, hey, I'm playing
:22:01. > :22:04.him today!" "When this guy turns up, is he going to be..." The penny
:22:05. > :22:08.dropped. Here's a picture of the European team celebrating their win,
:22:08. > :22:16.can you sum up this picture in a phrase or a caption? Yeah, what a
:22:16. > :22:21.load of swingers. This is what's happening in the 1970s right now.
:22:21. > :22:28.They're twisting again, you know, like we did, last summer. Is this
:22:28. > :22:38.Marks & Spencer launches its new Looks Like A Dick range? This
:22:38. > :22:43.year's line-up for Strictly looks a bit shit. Is it Gangnam style?
:22:43. > :22:46.a version of Gangnam style, it's in fact gingham style. If you think
:22:46. > :22:51.they look happy, you should see the bloke in the jacket shop. "I sold
:22:51. > :22:56.them, I sold them!" Somewhere there's a branch of Garfunkel's
:22:56. > :23:00.with no tablecloths. In other news, what are you now able to do in this
:23:00. > :23:07.country at sunrise, midnight or three o'clock in the morning?
:23:07. > :23:10.this show on Dave. Yes. You can get married 24 hours, can't you? And
:23:10. > :23:13.Blackpool Tower say that they're very keen to have marriages at
:23:13. > :23:17.midnight. Of course, the advantage of getting married at midnight in
:23:17. > :23:19.Blackpool is that you can't actually see Blackpool. I think
:23:19. > :23:23.it's the logical next step, because there's already civil partnerships
:23:23. > :23:27.so gay people can get married, and now weddings at 3am so ugly people
:23:27. > :23:30.can get married. The Home Office have said about this 24-hour
:23:30. > :23:34.wedding thing is that it means they've increased the amount of
:23:34. > :23:36.choice people can have when planning their weddings. Right now
:23:36. > :23:44.there's a nation full of engaged men going, "Oh, good, another
:23:44. > :23:51."What we needed was more things to discuss about the planning of this
:23:51. > :23:53.poxy wedding." Another thing to be able to do at three in the morning
:23:53. > :24:03.to me, there's a definite market for 24-hour divorces or...3am
:24:03. > :24:10.
:24:10. > :24:14.The baby's awake anyway, Dara. true, very true. You know what I
:24:14. > :24:19.think about it? I didn't think of it as a christening, more the wake
:24:19. > :24:22.we held for our sex life. First, you don't have to get married in
:24:22. > :24:28.church anymore, then you get married at night. Who is this
:24:28. > :24:33.benefiting? Vampires. Yeah. Oh, my God, that's exactly it, it's just
:24:33. > :24:39.going to be a load of Twilight themed weddings! Oh, shite! Oh,
:24:39. > :24:46.that's all it's going to be. At the end of that round, the points go to
:24:46. > :24:49.Now we come to Scenes We'd Like To See, so if everyone can make their
:24:49. > :24:52.way over to the performance area, I'll read out this week's topics
:24:52. > :24:55.and then we'll see what our panellists can come up with. OK,
:24:55. > :25:03.here we go, the first subject is....unlikely things for a sports
:25:03. > :25:10.They think it's all over! But Wayne Rooney is telling his hair surgeons
:25:10. > :25:19.So just two laps to go and then these dancers from Stringfellow's
:25:19. > :25:29.Tragedy strikes the Winter Olympics as the ski-jumping is accidentally
:25:29. > :25:30.
:25:30. > :25:40.And that's a 200 yard drive, Colin Montgomerie there, too lazy to walk
:25:40. > :25:44.Well, with 200 metres to go, he is on the shoulder of the Ethiopian. I
:25:44. > :25:50.don't know if it's legal for him to be there, but it'll slow him down a
:25:50. > :26:00.Lewis Hamilton still leads, but there's trouble up ahead as Dick
:26:00. > :26:02.
:26:02. > :26:12.Dastardly and Muttley are digging a She can see the line now, she can
:26:12. > :26:22.see the line. She's definitely Welcome back to the women's shot
:26:22. > :26:29.put. Here's the Lithuanian, my, Well, let's go over to Epsom for
:26:29. > :26:33.the 2.30. There are 16 runners, everyone else is riding a horse.
:26:33. > :26:43.And after Andy Murray's recent appearance on television's Mock The
:26:43. > :26:46.
:26:46. > :26:55.Week, onto centre court we see the And that's an incredible right hook
:26:55. > :27:05.So, Boris Johnson, are you enjoying the Olympics? Oh, I'm terribly
:27:05. > :27:06.
:27:06. > :27:09.sorry, Clare Balding, are you And there was some confusion
:27:09. > :27:13.earlier on Centre Court when Andy Murray thought he'd signed one of
:27:13. > :27:20.those giant novelty tennis balls and it turned out to be a fat kid's
:27:20. > :27:30.And the England team sticking with the classic 4-4-2 formation, this
:27:30. > :27:31.
:27:31. > :27:36.really is the most organised orgy And Serena Williams remains
:27:36. > :27:46.unseeded for a second year. I can't help thinking that a bit of lippy
:27:46. > :27:48.
:27:48. > :27:57.OK, the next topic is...bad things to say at a job interview. What do
:27:57. > :28:07.I think of nepotism? That's a good Yeah, I served for ten years in
:28:07. > :28:16.I like to see myself as a people person, although some people have
:28:16. > :28:26.So I'm just checking, you definitely, definitely, definitely
:28:26. > :28:38.
:28:38. > :28:46.Sorry, could you repeat the question? My ankle bracelet's
:28:46. > :28:56.Well, I am a fully qualified geography teacher and... The
:28:56. > :28:56.
:28:56. > :29:06.If I were to take you on as an accountant, how do you think you'd
:29:06. > :29:08.
:29:08. > :29:17.cope with all the extra fanny you'd Do I like jogging? Oh, I thought
:29:17. > :29:21.you said, do I like dogging? The You've demonstrated a bad attitude,
:29:21. > :29:31.an inability to listen and a complete lack of interest in others.
:29:31. > :29:39.
:29:40. > :29:48.Welcome to Ryanair's customer- Well, they gave me a 2:2 at