0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains some strong language and adult humour.
0:00:16 > 0:00:17APPLAUSE
0:00:20 > 0:00:23G'day. I'm Adam Hills. Welcome to Monumental, the panel show
0:00:23 > 0:00:25about Northern Ireland hosted by an Australian.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28Tonight, two teams will celebrate the great, the good, the weird
0:00:28 > 0:00:30and the wonderful of Northern Ireland. And the team on my right
0:00:30 > 0:00:32is led by a comedian who has performed
0:00:32 > 0:00:35in the Royal Variety Performance, Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow
0:00:35 > 0:00:38and the chorus of Oklahoma in Dominican College, Portstewart.
0:00:38 > 0:00:39It's Jimeoin!
0:00:39 > 0:00:41APPLAUSE
0:00:41 > 0:00:43With Jimeoin every week is the current
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Best Supporting Actor at the British Independent Film Awards
0:00:46 > 0:00:50and Holywood County Down's 437th richest man - Michael Smiley.
0:00:50 > 0:00:51APPLAUSE
0:00:51 > 0:00:55And joining them this week, is the Tyrone comic and actor who puts
0:00:55 > 0:00:58the culchie into multiculturalism, star of his very own
0:00:58 > 0:01:01sketch show SKETCHY - Diarmuid Corr.
0:01:01 > 0:01:02APPLAUSE
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Captaining the other team on my left is a comic you'll know
0:01:06 > 0:01:09from Live At The Apollo who has appeared in Las Vegas
0:01:09 > 0:01:11alongside Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock -
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Viva Andrew Maxwell.
0:01:13 > 0:01:14APPLAUSE
0:01:15 > 0:01:17His regular sidekick is a comedian who's been on
0:01:17 > 0:01:19Dave's One Night Stand and the floor of every decent kebab shop
0:01:19 > 0:01:21in his native Lurgan. It's Micky Bartlett.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23APPLAUSE
0:01:23 > 0:01:26And joining them is tonight's Monumental guest to whom
0:01:26 > 0:01:28we'll be paying a very special tribute later on.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30She is a legendary Northern Irish Olympian
0:01:30 > 0:01:34who won gold in the pentathlon in 1972. She makes Usain Bolt
0:01:34 > 0:01:37look like a slacker. She is the incredible Dame Mary Peters.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:39 > 0:01:42No way I'm an Aussie. I know enough about this place to know that
0:01:42 > 0:01:47my favourite phrase in the world is "Happy days." Nowhere else
0:01:47 > 0:01:50on the planet does anyone say, "Happy days."
0:01:50 > 0:01:52"How long are you here for?"
0:01:52 > 0:01:54"Two weeks." "Happy days."
0:01:54 > 0:01:55"What are you going to do?"
0:01:55 > 0:01:58"Just drive a car." "Happy days."
0:01:58 > 0:02:00I would have loved to have been here in the '70s
0:02:00 > 0:02:02when that TV show with Fonzie was on.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Just for the theme song. # Sunday, Monday... # Happy days.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10A wee while ago, I was commentating on the Paralympics
0:02:10 > 0:02:13and I had a bet with a co-presenter about who would win
0:02:13 > 0:02:16the most medals and I lost the bet and what that meant was,
0:02:16 > 0:02:18I had to have my prosthetic foot -
0:02:18 > 0:02:23because I have an artificial foot - painted with a Union Jack.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26I didn't really think that through, did I?
0:02:26 > 0:02:31Because now I've come to Belfast and this is what my foot looks like.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Happy days.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Can I ask you how many medals Australia won at the Olympics?
0:02:40 > 0:02:43I think you'll find Australia boycotted the Olympics.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46You know they always criticise the Brits because they only
0:02:46 > 0:02:48win sitting down.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50The Australians sat down too long.
0:02:52 > 0:02:53Happy days!
0:02:55 > 0:02:58I knew I was going to cop it here, I wasn't expecting it from a dame!
0:03:00 > 0:03:02All right, let's get into the first round.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04This round is called Wish They Were One Of Us.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Each team has to nominate international celebrities that
0:03:07 > 0:03:09they think deserve honorary Northern Irish status.
0:03:09 > 0:03:13We will start with our VIP guest.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16- How should we refer to you? Is it Dame Mary?- No, no, no. I'm Mary P.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19- Wow.- That's what my friends call me.- It's kind of gangster.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22I'm Mary P!
0:03:22 > 0:03:25DMC Mary P, that's nice, isn't it?
0:03:25 > 0:03:29With a shot put instead of the... you know.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32You kind of sound like a drunken bloke having a pee.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34"I'll have a wee MARY P before I go."
0:03:36 > 0:03:38All right, Mary P, who do you think deserves to be
0:03:38 > 0:03:41- Northern Irish?- I'm going to choose Usain Bolt.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43- Usain Bolt.- Yes.- Why is that?
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Because he can run fast
0:03:45 > 0:03:49and if he stole from a shop, he'd get away from the police right away.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54What's his symbol? You were actually showing me beforehand.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57You've been visiting schools. There it is.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00I've seen Mo Farah go to do Usain Bolt
0:04:00 > 0:04:03and then realised that wasn't his.
0:04:04 > 0:04:05He did the...
0:04:08 > 0:04:10So is this meant to be like a lightning bolt?
0:04:10 > 0:04:12- Is that what that is?- Yes.- Right.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14So if he was in northern Ireland it would probably be
0:04:14 > 0:04:16a white lightning bolt?
0:04:18 > 0:04:24- Jimeoin, who would you throw in the pot?- Snoop Doggy Dogg,
0:04:24 > 0:04:27because where I come from in North Antrim, Ballymoney, we had that
0:04:27 > 0:04:30hand signal that was, you know... and that would just fit right in.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33You know, Snoop Dogg, West Side, West Side Ballymoney.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40East Side Ballymoney and as well as that, in his videos... Instead
0:04:40 > 0:04:42of having those skanky hos,
0:04:42 > 0:04:45you know those ones that were always doing that.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50A bit of Irish dancers just in the video clips.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53A ginger-haired girl with curly hair in the background.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Just filthy from the knees down.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59She's got the dirtiest shins in the business.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02I'm trying to do Irish dancing here.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07I can even do the lay and the jump.
0:05:20 > 0:05:21How does he do it?
0:05:25 > 0:05:27LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Andrew, who would you like to offer up?
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Sean Connery, because he has to cover up
0:05:33 > 0:05:36his lower arm tattoos to get a job.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39I think Sean Connery is an excellent choice.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43I especially love the idea of there being an Northern Irish Bond.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Oh, yes. He'd would be brief though.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47There would be none of this, "Mr Bond,
0:05:47 > 0:05:50"you have several days to escape from my lair."
0:05:50 > 0:05:53He's just going to shoot you and then go home.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57That's it. "I'm busy, I want a sausage and there's none here."
0:05:57 > 0:06:02His arch-nemesis would be called Dr Never! Never! Never! Never!
0:06:05 > 0:06:07I'd love to see a Bond from Tyrone.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09"What would you like to drink, Mr Bond?"
0:06:09 > 0:06:12"Cheers, boy. I'll have a...
0:06:12 > 0:06:16"I'll have a double vodka and Red Bull there, please. Shaken."
0:06:21 > 0:06:24One of my best mates, he used to work with a dude called
0:06:24 > 0:06:28James Bond, who used to work in a slaughterhouse.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30He actually had a licence to kill.
0:06:36 > 0:06:37Right. Michael Smiley,
0:06:37 > 0:06:40who would you like to offer up as an honorary Northern Irishman?
0:06:40 > 0:06:44I think somebody like Paul O'Grady or something like that.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47We need more camp Northern Ireland people.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50And there's something about the Belfast accent that really
0:06:50 > 0:06:55lends itself to the campness of the voice the whole time.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58Belfast is quite a matriarchal city
0:06:58 > 0:07:01so it's run by women the whole time, so even if you're around them,
0:07:01 > 0:07:05- if I'm around more than five Belfast women, I get a wee bit camp.- Me too.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08- All time!- I know! I'm out-camping them.
0:07:08 > 0:07:12All of a sudden I'm like, "Come here, dear. You look a million dollars.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15"I love what you've done with yourself! Would you look at...
0:07:15 > 0:07:17"Love it! I love your shoes.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19"Where did you get those shoes. They look amazing."
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Which one are you, Samson or Goliath?
0:07:28 > 0:07:31- Diarmuid, who would you throw in to the pot?- Moses...
0:07:34 > 0:07:37..as a Belfast taxi driver,
0:07:37 > 0:07:40because whenever he came out of exile in the desert
0:07:40 > 0:07:44and he came up to the Hebrews and he said, "All right, fellow Hebrews?
0:07:44 > 0:07:46"I was out in the desert there, so I was,
0:07:46 > 0:07:49"and I was talking to God, so I was, and he told me that I'm to
0:07:49 > 0:07:54"lead you all to a bit of land that he promised us, so he did.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57"Now from where we are in Egypt, it would take a good
0:07:57 > 0:08:02"two days walking, so it would. But I know a shortcut, so I do."
0:08:04 > 0:08:0540 years later, they arrive.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07APPLAUSE
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Mickey, who do you think should be nominated?
0:08:09 > 0:08:11I would like to have David Hasselhoff
0:08:11 > 0:08:13as a Northern Ireland patron, for a couple of reasons.
0:08:13 > 0:08:14Number one, that time he came home drunk
0:08:14 > 0:08:17and ate the burger off the bathroom floor.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19The only thing that was missing out of that was
0:08:19 > 0:08:22he didn't look at the burger and go, "Yo!"
0:08:22 > 0:08:24As well as that, from Baywatch,
0:08:24 > 0:08:26he would have proper lifeguard experience.
0:08:26 > 0:08:27He could save people's lives.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29He wouldn't be like a Northern Irish lifeguard
0:08:29 > 0:08:31just standing on the beach shouting advice.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33"John, kick your legs!
0:08:33 > 0:08:36"Kick your legs, John! I'm not going in! It's freezing!"
0:08:38 > 0:08:41I think I'm going to award that round to Andrew's team
0:08:41 > 0:08:44for the combination of Usain Bolt, Sean Connery and David Hasselhoff.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46All three of those should be Northern Irish.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:49 > 0:08:51All right, this next round is all about trying to sell
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Northern Ireland as a tourist resort, but not the big famous
0:08:54 > 0:08:57places that already get the glory, this is about the small places.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Firstly, Jimeoin's team, I'm going to give you some lesser-known facts
0:09:00 > 0:09:02about a Northern Irish town.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04You have to name that town.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Fact number one -
0:09:06 > 0:09:09during the Cold War, this town decided to build a nuclear bunker.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13Construction finished just in time - in 1990.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16I know that in Coalisland they had coal bunkers.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25In fact, I'm pretty sure that nearly everybody in Coalisland
0:09:25 > 0:09:30- had their own coal bunker.- So that if there was a coal attack...
0:09:32 > 0:09:36- In a way, it was their war against the cold.- Oh, right.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38It was their Cold War.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40APPLAUSE
0:09:43 > 0:09:44All right, here's your next fact.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47The Electric Light Orchestra were once banned from playing
0:09:47 > 0:09:50a gig here by the local authorities, fearing it would lead to,
0:09:50 > 0:09:55"the four Ds of drink, drugs, the Devil and debauchery."
0:09:56 > 0:09:59You'd think the devil would be able to sum it all up.
0:09:59 > 0:10:04Like, "The devil is there. Debauchery as well?!
0:10:04 > 0:10:06"Too much for me."
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Here's your final fact.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11If you were to phone a certain launderette in this town,
0:10:11 > 0:10:14the owner on the other end of the line might say, "I don't know
0:10:14 > 0:10:18"who you are but my wee brother will find you and he will kill you."
0:10:18 > 0:10:21God, that could be anywhere!
0:10:21 > 0:10:24The ELO one's a giveaway, isn't it?
0:10:24 > 0:10:28- I think I remember this actually. Ballymena.- It is indeed Ballymena.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30APPLAUSE
0:10:39 > 0:10:41That last quote was Liam Neeson from...
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Which particular movie was at?
0:10:43 > 0:10:46- I don't know.- Taken.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48The best thing Liam Neeson has ever done
0:10:48 > 0:10:50is get rid of his Ballymena accent. Have you ever seen Taken?
0:10:50 > 0:10:53"I will find you and I will kill you."
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Imagine that if he still had a Ballymena accent,
0:10:55 > 0:10:58just be on the phone going, "Listen here, boy.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01"I don't know where you live, but I know your mammy."
0:11:02 > 0:11:05Andrew's team, here's the first clue in your town challenge.
0:11:05 > 0:11:09Fact number one - the ancestral home of the American President
0:11:09 > 0:11:12Andrew Jackson is on the outskirts of this town.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14Like a true Ulsterman, Jackson was never one to back down.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17He had been wounded so frequently in duels, it was said
0:11:17 > 0:11:19he rattled like a bag of marbles.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Andrew Jackson, the founder of the Democratic party.
0:11:22 > 0:11:27The scourge of the Indians. Yes, old Hickory himself.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31You look like you have just come across your nemesis.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34He wiped out my nation. I was the last of my people.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38What were yous called, the sarky tribe?
0:11:40 > 0:11:44- Or maybe you were, maybe you weren't. - All right, here's your second fact -
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Prince William has been made baron of this town
0:11:47 > 0:11:49but he's never actually been there.
0:11:49 > 0:11:53- You're a dame, do you know anything about barons?- Nothing at all.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56What happened when you became a dame? What's the process?
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Is it like a ceremony and you hold...
0:11:58 > 0:12:02Yes, but we don't have the sword. We just have the...
0:12:02 > 0:12:06Just the pat. Just a pat from the Queen. "Nice one!"
0:12:09 > 0:12:11All right, here's your final fact -
0:12:11 > 0:12:13a historical landmark in this town has been fought over
0:12:13 > 0:12:16by English, Scottish and Irish invaders, but to get into it
0:12:16 > 0:12:20these days costs a mere £5 or £3 concession.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Is that my ex-girlfriend?
0:12:26 > 0:12:30- Still hurts, huh? Still hurts. - As team captain you need to...
0:12:30 > 0:12:33- I think we should demur to the Dame, should we?- Yes, we'll do that.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35You get to choose, Mary.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38- Enniskillen. - Enniskillen we're going for.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41Carrickfergus.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44The British period title of Baron Carrickfergus, which had been
0:12:44 > 0:12:48extinct since 1883, was bestowed upon Prince William
0:12:48 > 0:12:49on his wedding day.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Technically that means Prince William is partly Northern Irish,
0:12:51 > 0:12:55which explains why his wife got her baps out on holiday.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01At the end of that round, the points go to Jimeoin's team.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:13:03 > 0:13:07This next round asks if there is anything particularly Northern Irish
0:13:07 > 0:13:10that doesn't exist any more that the teams would like to bring back.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12It could be anything from a favourite toy,
0:13:12 > 0:13:16slang term, or a weird and wonderful long-lost local custom.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20- Jimeoin, you can start. - I would like to see Police 6.
0:13:20 > 0:13:21It was a programme on during the Troubles,
0:13:21 > 0:13:23I don't know if anyone remembers it.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26During the height of the Troubles, they would always just...
0:13:26 > 0:13:27Really petty crimes and it was just...
0:13:27 > 0:13:30Regardless of what was going on, there would be something
0:13:30 > 0:13:32really trivial, so I'd just love to see Police 6.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Now, I wasn't aware of what Police 6 is,
0:13:34 > 0:13:36so I've tracked down little bit of footage.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Here it is.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Back to Belfast and the mystery
0:13:40 > 0:13:43of the disappearing technical drawing pens.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46More than 90 of these specialist drawing instruments have gone
0:13:46 > 0:13:49missing from an office at Belfast shipyard. Here's what they look like.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51They were made by Faber-Castell
0:13:51 > 0:13:54and each pack would cost you in the region of £21.
0:13:54 > 0:13:58If you can help police enquiries in any way, ring this number.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02During the height of the Troubles, just some bomb, just some
0:14:02 > 0:14:07town has been blown up, terrible, but what about the pens?
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Where are the pens? Who's got the pen?
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Andrew, what would you like to bring back?
0:14:11 > 0:14:16The ads in the carpet at Belfast International Airport.
0:14:16 > 0:14:20- What were they?- I don't know. They were ads for sausages and stuff.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24It was like sausages, potatoes, crisps,
0:14:24 > 0:14:25the confidential phone number.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31And then it would say, "Bienvenue a Belfast!"
0:14:31 > 0:14:34You know you've just landed back into Belfast, "Urgh!"
0:14:34 > 0:14:39And they were always on the floor. They knew, they knew their market.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42The people are going to be downtrodden and looking down.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45"I'm going to be living in me mam's house again."
0:14:45 > 0:14:46They'll be looking downward.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48They wouldn't have thrown those carpets away,
0:14:48 > 0:14:51they're in someone's house.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54You go into the front room, "Cookstown sausages."
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Diarmuid, what would you like to bring back?
0:14:57 > 0:14:58You know the way, years ago,
0:14:58 > 0:15:03whenever you were driving somewhere and your mum and dad
0:15:03 > 0:15:07would see a hitchhiker on the road thumbing a lift
0:15:07 > 0:15:12and, out of sheer politeness, um, they would stop and pick him up
0:15:12 > 0:15:13and put us in the boot.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15LAUGHTER
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Happened to you too, then, I take it, yeah?
0:15:17 > 0:15:21It didn't matter if the guy had a rucksack with limbs hanging
0:15:21 > 0:15:25out of it and a samurai sword - "Get in the boot, let that man in!"
0:15:25 > 0:15:28Our auntie got us out of the car and we had to walk home
0:15:28 > 0:15:30- while she gave people a lift. - Brilliant!
0:15:32 > 0:15:35- Michael Smiley, what would you like to bring back?- Indoor fireworks.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38LAUGHTER
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Indoor fireworks.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43If you're a man or a woman of a certain age,
0:15:43 > 0:15:46you will remember indoor fireworks. There was a point
0:15:46 > 0:15:49where we weren't trusted with real fireworks any more
0:15:49 > 0:15:52in case we made a big one. So there would be a couple of sparklers,
0:15:52 > 0:15:56but that was given to your dad, cos he was the head of the household.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00So there would be my dad reading the Belfast Telegraph just doing that.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03And all us gathered around and they'd get the things open
0:16:03 > 0:16:06and this one, it turns into a snake! Agh!
0:16:06 > 0:16:09And there was a wee brown tablet and you lit it and it just went, "Meh!"
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Just turned into like a brown slug.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Micky, what do you want to bring back?
0:16:16 > 0:16:19Anyone remember this, remember button-up tracksuit bottoms?
0:16:19 > 0:16:22- I want to bring back... - SOME APPLAUSE
0:16:22 > 0:16:25Yeah! If we had a non-uniform day in school, there was two fears.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Either, number one, being punched in the buttons,
0:16:28 > 0:16:30which sounds dirtier than what it is.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32And the other one was de-bagging, because you could...
0:16:32 > 0:16:35You could de-bag someone in button-up trousers
0:16:35 > 0:16:37from about a mile and a half away.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40- Exactly what's de-bagging? - Just you'd de-bag them!
0:16:40 > 0:16:43- Mary knew! - Even the dame knows that!
0:16:43 > 0:16:46- Yeah, you were all over that! - LAUGHTER
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Have you ever de-bagged anyone?
0:16:49 > 0:16:50Yes.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:16:54 > 0:16:57Er, do you know what, I'm going to give that round to Jimeoin's team.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:17:03 > 0:17:05This next round is called Mystery Monumental
0:17:05 > 0:17:07and it's all about celebrating a phenomenal achievement
0:17:07 > 0:17:10by a Northern Irish person you probably haven't heard of.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Would you please welcome tonight's Mystery Monumental guests -
0:17:13 > 0:17:17Mickey, Felix, Daryl, Campbell, Eamon, Ronan and another Mickey.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19APPLAUSE
0:17:19 > 0:17:22Now we know Mickey, Felix, Daryl, Campbell, Eamon, Ronan
0:17:22 > 0:17:25and another Mickey are Monumental, but what are they Monumental for?
0:17:25 > 0:17:28I'll give you a hint - not synchronised swimming.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Here's your first clue.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Two players dropped out with sore arms.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37- MARY: Arm wrestlers?- No.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40There's something about them. They do look like they're sporting,
0:17:40 > 0:17:43but they also like the convivial sporting life.
0:17:43 > 0:17:47All of them look like they're no strangers to being very drunk.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50But it's definitely a sport, it involves the arm,
0:17:50 > 0:17:54- I think it's bowling. - OK, I'm going to move on.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Here's your second clue. This is a headline
0:17:56 > 0:17:59from a newspaper of the time about their Monumental event. It said...
0:18:05 > 0:18:07JIMEOIN: Are you a paramilitary group?
0:18:07 > 0:18:09LAUGHTER
0:18:12 > 0:18:14All right, here's your final clue.
0:18:14 > 0:18:19Every throw was streamed live on the internet from a pub in Omagh.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21MARY: I think they're darts throwers.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25OK, what Monumental achievement did you think they achieved
0:18:25 > 0:18:30- whilst throwing darts? - They threw more than a team of seven
0:18:30 > 0:18:33usually do for a world championships?
0:18:33 > 0:18:34I know what it is!
0:18:34 > 0:18:40These seven men scored a bull's-eye with one giant dart!
0:18:42 > 0:18:45A sentence I've never said, but I'm going to say it.
0:18:45 > 0:18:46Listen to the dame.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51EFFEMINATE VOICE: So I think it's, er...
0:18:51 > 0:18:52LAUGHTER
0:18:54 > 0:18:56They scored a certain amount of points
0:18:56 > 0:19:00with fewer darts than anyone has ever achieved.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03- 1,001.- 1,001? It's not 1,001. Do you want to have a...?
0:19:03 > 0:19:05- 1,002. - LAUGHTER
0:19:05 > 0:19:07- We could be here for some time. - Is there an up to this?
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Is it 1,000,001?
0:19:09 > 0:19:12- Yes, Jimeoin, it's 1,000,001! - 1,000,001.- Really?
0:19:12 > 0:19:14- CHEERING - These guys...
0:19:17 > 0:19:21These guys are the Omagh-based darts team who hold the world record
0:19:21 > 0:19:25for scoring 1,000,001 points with the least number of darts.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:19:28 > 0:19:31So let's get some perspective. How long did that whole thing take?
0:19:31 > 0:19:3348 hours.
0:19:33 > 0:19:38- So how many darts did you do altogether?- Er, 38,095.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41That must have been a trailer-load of darts!
0:19:43 > 0:19:46Where would you get that many darts?
0:19:46 > 0:19:49Probably smuggled them across the border from Bundoran or something!
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Lads, if you wouldn't mind stepping over there,
0:19:54 > 0:19:56it's time to bring in the dartboard.
0:20:02 > 0:20:06Here's the challenge - one of you against one of us.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08If you would like to select your best player, please.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12One dart closest to the bull. Take it away, Michael.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20Ooh! All right. Thank you, sir. Round of applause for Michael.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22APPLAUSE
0:20:22 > 0:20:27I nominate the sportsperson among us.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Dame Mary Peters!
0:20:30 > 0:20:31CHEERING
0:20:31 > 0:20:34Here is your dart.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36- Oh, how embarrassing.- Oh, oh, oh!
0:20:38 > 0:20:40- LAUGHTER - Just to steady the ship.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44JIMEOIN: Throw the pint! LAUGHTER
0:20:47 > 0:20:51Ooh! Hold it, hold on, hold on.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55Now, technically, you guys won that, but it's not fair,
0:20:55 > 0:20:56you're used to throwing darts.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59Dame Mary's used to throwing a shot put.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02LAUGHTER
0:21:03 > 0:21:08- Dame Mary, this is a 1 kg shot put...- OK.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10- Just to prove it... - IT THUDS
0:21:10 > 0:21:12If you'd like to do your best with that, please,
0:21:12 > 0:21:14and see how close you can get to the bull.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16SOME LAUGHTER
0:21:16 > 0:21:18- MICHAEL:- Hang on a minute, I'm over here!
0:21:18 > 0:21:20LAUGHTER
0:21:24 > 0:21:27LAUGHTER AND CHEERING
0:21:27 > 0:21:29APPLAUSE
0:21:31 > 0:21:34- I'm going to say that was a draw. - LAUGHTER
0:21:34 > 0:21:35Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up
0:21:35 > 0:21:39for Mickey, Felix, Daryl, Campbell, Eamon, Ronan and another Mickey!
0:21:39 > 0:21:42CHEERING
0:21:43 > 0:21:45All right, I'm going to show the teams
0:21:45 > 0:21:47a series of newspaper headlines that link to Monumental
0:21:47 > 0:21:50and not so Monumental events in Northern Irish history.
0:21:50 > 0:21:54Teams, buzz in, guess what the headlines are all about.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56First headline...
0:21:57 > 0:21:59- BUZZ! - Yes?
0:21:59 > 0:22:02Is it a dinosaur with bad camouflage?
0:22:02 > 0:22:05- It was a dinosaur footprint in Armagh.- Oh?
0:22:05 > 0:22:06That's what you need - a dinosaur saying,
0:22:06 > 0:22:08"I've been marching here for five million years!"
0:22:08 > 0:22:11- LAUGHTER - Headline number two...
0:22:14 > 0:22:16BUZZ! Craigavon's next top model?
0:22:16 > 0:22:17LAUGHTER
0:22:17 > 0:22:21Er, the price of pork goes up was what we were looking for.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Next headline...
0:22:23 > 0:22:24- BUZZ! - Jimeoin?
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Is it his wife in the boot? LAUGHTER
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Weirdly, the answer is a taxi driver has a fox for a pet.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Last one...
0:22:36 > 0:22:38- BUZZ! - Mary?
0:22:38 > 0:22:42- Bog snorkelling?- You'd be annoyed if someone promised you a dirty weekend
0:22:42 > 0:22:45and you ended up bog snorkelling!
0:22:45 > 0:22:46- BUZZ! - In fairness, Adam,
0:22:46 > 0:22:49I don't think you know what bog snorkelling means here!
0:22:49 > 0:22:51LAUGHTER
0:22:53 > 0:22:55It is...
0:22:56 > 0:23:00It is so worth the B&B!
0:23:00 > 0:23:02It was volunteers planting trees in Tyrone.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Do you know what, at the end of that round,
0:23:04 > 0:23:06I'll give the points to Andrew's team!
0:23:06 > 0:23:08CHEERING
0:23:09 > 0:23:12All right, the end is nigh, but before we reveal tonight's winners,
0:23:12 > 0:23:14it's time to pay tribute to our special guest.
0:23:14 > 0:23:18She's a double Commonwealth gold winning pentathlete and, in 1972,
0:23:18 > 0:23:22she became a household name by winning gold at the Munich Olympics.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26Now, to achieve what this lady has, you really do need dedication,
0:23:26 > 0:23:29so who better than the late great Roy Castle to introduce her?
0:23:29 > 0:23:32Now, you may be clever and you may be bold
0:23:32 > 0:23:34But you need dedication if you wanna win a gold
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Now, that's not joking No, that's no jape
0:23:36 > 0:23:38For a gold, you've gotta be first at the tape!
0:23:38 > 0:23:42# Dedication! Oh, oh, dedication!
0:23:42 > 0:23:46# Oh, oh, dedication! That's what you need
0:23:46 > 0:23:50# If you wanna be the best If you wanna beat the rest
0:23:50 > 0:23:53# Dedication's what you need! #
0:23:53 > 0:23:56APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:23:56 > 0:23:59Ladies and gentlemen, Dame Mary Peters!
0:23:59 > 0:24:01CHEERING
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Now, Mary is a sweet lady these days, but there was a time
0:24:10 > 0:24:13when she was one of the toughest ladies in the world. Have a look
0:24:13 > 0:24:16at this photo of her doing a little bit of light exercise.
0:24:17 > 0:24:18AUDIENCE GASPS
0:24:18 > 0:24:22JIMEOIN: You could do your back in there! Are you lifting that?!
0:24:22 > 0:24:23And I'm not going to mess
0:24:23 > 0:24:26with a lady who makes this face when she's winning.
0:24:26 > 0:24:27MARY LAUGHS
0:24:27 > 0:24:30- MICHAEL:- When do you pull that face now?
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Getting shopping out of the car or something like that?
0:24:32 > 0:24:36- Putting your jeans on, pulling your jeans on? - I had constipation that day.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38LAUGHTER
0:24:38 > 0:24:41Wow! Thank God there was a massive amount of sand underneath you!
0:24:41 > 0:24:44LAUGHTER
0:24:46 > 0:24:48I think the expression "no pain, no gain"
0:24:48 > 0:24:50was invented to go with this footage.
0:24:54 > 0:24:55LOUD YELL: Ow, ya...
0:24:55 > 0:24:58AUDIENCE LAUGHS MICKY: I love that clip!
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Because it sounds like you're going to shout "bastard" at the end of it!
0:25:01 > 0:25:03"Ow, ya bastard!"
0:25:03 > 0:25:06LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Back in the early '70s, you knew you were famous when you were asked
0:25:14 > 0:25:18to appear on BBC One's big Saturday night entertainment show
0:25:18 > 0:25:21Bruce Forsyth's Generation Game!
0:25:21 > 0:25:25Now, I find it hard to believe that you might flirt with the host...
0:25:25 > 0:25:28SHE LAUGHS, AUDIENCE JOINS IN
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Yeah, that's right!
0:25:30 > 0:25:32That knee's not going to touch itself!
0:25:35 > 0:25:37But that's exactly what you did. Have a look at this.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40The one and only Miss Mary Peters!
0:25:42 > 0:25:48And tell me, my dear, tell me, what is your next athletic meeting?
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Tonight, you and I.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52LAUGHTER
0:25:52 > 0:25:55- AUDIENCE MEMBER: Whoa! - What...? "Whoa"?!
0:25:55 > 0:25:56LAUGHTER
0:25:56 > 0:25:59- You get in the queue, mate! Um... - LAUGHTER
0:25:59 > 0:26:01She could kill you! Um...
0:26:03 > 0:26:06I'm not going to ask what happened later that night, but I did hear
0:26:06 > 0:26:10a rumour of someone passing Bruce's room and hearing, "Ow, ya..."
0:26:10 > 0:26:12LAUGHTER
0:26:12 > 0:26:15And here's a quick message from one of your other biggest fans.
0:26:15 > 0:26:19Hi, Mary, congratulations on being declared Monumental.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22You inspired so many. Here's something special.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25It's called the Mary-Bot, just for you.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27Come on, guys, let's all do it!
0:26:27 > 0:26:28Mary-Bot!
0:26:30 > 0:26:33APPLAUSE
0:26:33 > 0:26:36Where do you keep your gold medal?
0:26:36 > 0:26:39It's actually in the Ulster Museum, but I have a copy with me tonight.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43MICHAEL: # Da-da-da... #
0:26:43 > 0:26:45Did they give you this or did you have it made?
0:26:45 > 0:26:50I had it made, because, um, I like to go and show it to schoolchildren.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53- What's up, yo, Mary P! - LAUGHTER
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Yeah, see, Mary P wearing a bit of that
0:26:56 > 0:26:58now looks a bit more appropriate, doesn't it?
0:26:58 > 0:27:00APPLAUSE, MARY LAUGHS
0:27:00 > 0:27:03Dame Mary Peters, you really have done it all and we want you
0:27:03 > 0:27:06to keep doing it for plenty more years to come.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09Here's a little surprise message on what the future may hold
0:27:09 > 0:27:11from one of your biggest fans.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14Hi, Dame Mary, congratulations
0:27:14 > 0:27:17on being awarded Monumental status tonight.
0:27:17 > 0:27:21You've spent a lifetime dedicated to sport and to your country,
0:27:21 > 0:27:23winning gold in the 1972 Olympics in Munich
0:27:23 > 0:27:27and representing Northern Ireland in every Commonwealth Games
0:27:27 > 0:27:31from 1958 to 1974, winning three more gold medals.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34You've been awarded an MBE, CBE, GBE
0:27:34 > 0:27:37and made Lord Lieutenant of city of Belfast
0:27:37 > 0:27:39and all for your service to sport
0:27:39 > 0:27:41and the community in Northern Ireland.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43You're probably wondering, "What next?
0:27:43 > 0:27:47"Where do I go from here?" Crisps, maybe?
0:27:47 > 0:27:49LAUGHTER Congratulations, Dame Mary.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51Have a good night and, remember, crisps!
0:27:51 > 0:27:53APPLAUSE
0:27:53 > 0:27:58Ladies and gentlemen, the woman, the legend, Dame Mary Peters,
0:27:58 > 0:28:00you are truly Monumental!
0:28:00 > 0:28:02APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:28:09 > 0:28:11It was dead even until the final round,
0:28:11 > 0:28:14but by being Monumental, you tipped your team over the line.
0:28:14 > 0:28:18- Andrew, Micky and Dame Mary Peters have won the show.- Yes!
0:28:18 > 0:28:20CHEERING
0:28:20 > 0:28:24It's thanks to Jimeoin, Michael Smiley and Diarmuid Corr!
0:28:24 > 0:28:29Andrew Maxwell, Micky Bartlett and the Monumental Dame Mary Peters!
0:28:29 > 0:28:31CHEERING
0:28:31 > 0:28:36I've been Adam Hills and you lovely people of Northern Ireland have been truly Monumental. Goodnight!
0:28:40 > 0:28:44Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:44 > 0:28:47MUSIC: "Get Over You" by The Undertones
0:28:47 > 0:28:52# Dressed like that you must be living in a different world
0:28:52 > 0:28:54# And your mother doesn't know why
0:28:54 > 0:28:58# You can't look like all the other girls
0:28:58 > 0:29:01# Boys stop you on the street They wanna know your name
0:29:01 > 0:29:04# To reach you on the phone cos they know your game
0:29:04 > 0:29:06# Always running up the alley trying to get home... #