0:00:02 > 0:00:09This programme contains some strong language and adult humour.
0:00:11 > 0:00:15Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys!
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# She's Mrs Brown
0:00:18 > 0:00:21# That's Mrs Brown
0:00:21 > 0:00:24# Our Mrs Brown... #
0:00:33 > 0:00:37# Are you hanging up your stocking on the wall?... #
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Hello.
0:00:58 > 0:00:59Hi.
0:01:02 > 0:01:03I slipped.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09I've been up here for an hour-and-a-half.
0:01:14 > 0:01:15Grandad!
0:01:17 > 0:01:19Wake up, ya bastard!
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Well, it's Christmas time again.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27I've made me list.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Decorate Christmas tree.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35It's not going too feckin' well.
0:01:37 > 0:01:38Buy turkey...
0:01:38 > 0:01:40not from Buster Brady.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Get the sprouts and boil them early.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Oh, now last year, they were like Iron Man's testicles!
0:01:47 > 0:01:51I dropped one on the floor and it bounced straight back into the pot.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00It's going to be a busy Christmas.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03My son Trevor's home for a couple of days. Yeah.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06And Bono, my grandson, he got a part in the Christmas play.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09I have to see that.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Oh, and...
0:02:13 > 0:02:16..I wrote a letter to Father Quinn, a formal letter,
0:02:16 > 0:02:20making a formal request for my turn to play the Virgin Mary...
0:02:24 > 0:02:27It's never too early!
0:02:27 > 0:02:29The early bird you know...
0:02:29 > 0:02:31is worth two in your bush.
0:02:32 > 0:02:33Grandad!
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Bastard!
0:02:35 > 0:02:39And it all starts as soon as I get off this feckin' tree.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44SHE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Shit!
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Hello! Hello!
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Too late, ya bastard!
0:03:09 > 0:03:11I love Christmas!
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Who's Debbie and Murty?
0:03:18 > 0:03:21They were the people you met on holiday in Wexford.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24- Nice people, you said.- Nice people, but I only just met them.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27I didn't feckin' adopt them.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30- Morning.- Good morning, love.
0:03:30 > 0:03:31- Want tea, Rory?- No. Haven't time.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34- Rory, letter for you. - Thanks, Mammy.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36- Open it, love. - No, I'll read it when I get to work.
0:03:36 > 0:03:37- Open it now.- No, really.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Open the feckin' letter.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Oh, my God!
0:03:44 > 0:03:46I'm about to win an award at the Irish Hairdressers Awards!
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Congratulations!
0:03:48 > 0:03:52Can't wait to tell everyone at work! See yous!
0:03:52 > 0:03:56He's thrilled! I knew he would be.
0:03:56 > 0:03:57I'll see ya.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Oh, now Dermot has a dentist appointment on the 11th.
0:04:02 > 0:04:03How do you know?
0:04:03 > 0:04:06- What? - Are you reading Dermot's mail?
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Its not Dermot's mail, it's FAMILY mail!
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Not if his name is on the envelope.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14That's an invasion of privacy, Mammy!
0:04:14 > 0:04:18My arse, Cathy! He works in promotions, not for the KEEAHH!
0:04:18 > 0:04:20It's CIA!
0:04:23 > 0:04:24Whatever!
0:04:24 > 0:04:27I hope you don't read my mail?
0:04:28 > 0:04:29Well...
0:04:31 > 0:04:35- You do?- A lot of the times you're gone before the postman gets here!
0:04:35 > 0:04:37I open it just in case it's important.
0:04:37 > 0:04:41Well, don't! I mean it, Mammy, don't!
0:04:43 > 0:04:46There's another one for you... Oh, too late!
0:04:50 > 0:04:52- Hiya, Winnie.- How are you, Agnes?
0:04:52 > 0:04:55- The hospital said Jacko could be home for Christmas!- Lovely.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58Did they say which Christmas?
0:05:01 > 0:05:04- Winnie...- What?- Did you ever look at Sharon's private things?
0:05:04 > 0:05:07Well, once, when she thought she had an inflammation...
0:05:10 > 0:05:11No!
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Her letters!
0:05:15 > 0:05:17No, Agnes, that'd be wrong!
0:05:17 > 0:05:19I even think that's illegal.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23You're right, and if it's not illegal, it should be. Yeah...
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Dear Cathy Brown...
0:05:30 > 0:05:33It's just great to have you home, Trevor.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Do you have to go back?
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Now, Mammy, don't start that again.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Hello, chicken.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48- Are you on your break? - Yeah, Ma.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51- Do you fancy a snack? - Oh, yeah.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58- Very funny, Mammy.- Isn't it funny?
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Clean it up.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07- Any post for me, Mammy? - Yes, just the one.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Excuse me, Mammy. This was opened.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15Don't be ridiculous, Cathy. Why would the postman do that?
0:06:15 > 0:06:18It wasn't the postman, Mammy, it was you!
0:06:18 > 0:06:20I'm sorry, Cathy, I fear you're mistaken!
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Yeah, Cathy!
0:06:22 > 0:06:24People's post is private. Everybody knows that.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Yeah, Cathy!
0:06:27 > 0:06:30You have a dentist appointment on Thursday...
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Thanks, Ma.
0:06:32 > 0:06:36So, Mammy, you want to play? Fine!
0:06:36 > 0:06:37Fine!
0:06:37 > 0:06:38DOORBELL RINGS
0:06:38 > 0:06:39I'll get it.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Mammy, did Buster call here looking for me?
0:06:42 > 0:06:46Buster called, but he wasn't looking for you. Why, what's he doing?
0:06:46 > 0:06:49He wants us to do a Santa Claus's grotto in one of the empty shops in the centre.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51- There's enough empty shops there. - I know.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54I think it's a great idea.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Mammy, someone here to see you.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Take a seat.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04- Hello, Hillary.- Hello.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07Hello, Father Qui... Who the feck are you?
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Agnes, dear,
0:07:14 > 0:07:16this is Damien.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19He's here temporarily, so I thought I'd introduce him
0:07:19 > 0:07:21to some of the important people in the parish...
0:07:21 > 0:07:22Oh, well...
0:07:22 > 0:07:24..then I brought him to meet you.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Hello, Mrs Brown. I'm Damien.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33- I'm filling in for Father Quinn, while he's on retreat.- Rehab again?
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Would you like a cup of tea, Father Damien?
0:07:37 > 0:07:40It's just Damien. He likes people to call him Damien.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44And I like people to mind their own fucking business.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Would you like a cup of tea, Father Damien?
0:07:47 > 0:07:51Er, no, Mrs Brown. Look, it's about your letter to Father Quinn.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Requesting to play the part of the Virgin Mary
0:07:53 > 0:07:56in this year's Nativity play.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58I'd forgotten about that.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01- Yes, well, I'm afraid I have some bad news.- Go on...
0:08:01 > 0:08:03There IS no Nativity play this year.
0:08:03 > 0:08:07- What?- The drama group are putting it on in Ballymun parish this year.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Excuse me.
0:08:15 > 0:08:16Now, wait a minute, Father.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20My family will put on the Nativity play, in the community centre.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Well, the community centre may not be available!
0:08:22 > 0:08:26You'll have to check with the head of the committee.
0:08:26 > 0:08:27Which is you.
0:08:27 > 0:08:31So it is! You'll also have to get permission from the bishop.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34- Frankly, I'm not prepared to do that. - Why not?
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Well, I believe this is just folly. Mothers do that kind of thing.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Say they're going to do something, then nothing.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41It's not a risk I'm prepared to take.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45- Right, then, I'm off.- And I'll start writing a Nativity play.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47- Why do all mothers do this? - Do what?
0:08:47 > 0:08:50When I say something, she completely ignores me.
0:08:50 > 0:08:51It's as if I haven't spoken.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53It doesn't ever seem to sink in.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Father, is your mother alive?
0:08:55 > 0:08:59Yes, but that's got nothing to do with you or this Nativity.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Doesn't it? I'll see.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05Leave it, Mammy. Right, then, thanks for dropping in, Damien.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10- He left in a hurry. - You might fucking join him.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19That boy has issues. Mother issues.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22- I'll try talking to him. - You do that. In the meantime,
0:09:22 > 0:09:24I'm writing a feckin' Nativity play.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28I'd better be off. Buster must be still looking.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30- Looking for what? - A Santa Claus for the grotto.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34- We need somebody fat and jolly. - Oh...fat and jolly?
0:09:34 > 0:09:36- Oh, no!- What?
0:09:36 > 0:09:39- He's gone over to talk to Sharon McGoogan!- You are kidding?
0:09:48 > 0:09:52So, er...Sharon...she said she wouldn't really be into it.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58DOORBELL RINGS
0:10:00 > 0:10:04Hello, I think I left my phone behind.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Hello? Ooh!
0:10:06 > 0:10:07Hello?
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Oh! Hello, I...
0:10:12 > 0:10:15I think you might be sitting on my phone.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21Hello?
0:10:21 > 0:10:22SHE SIGHS
0:10:24 > 0:10:27MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Er, Grandad?
0:10:30 > 0:10:32I think you're sitting on my phone.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Hello? Anybody? Hello?
0:10:34 > 0:10:36BEEPING
0:10:39 > 0:10:42'Hello? Hello?
0:10:42 > 0:10:43'Hello, Hillary?'
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Hello?
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Who is this?
0:10:47 > 0:10:48It's Agnes.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50I'm sorry...
0:10:51 > 0:10:54..I'm finding it very hard to hear.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57I'm in a bad area!
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Maybe if you got closer to the phone.
0:11:04 > 0:11:05Is this any better?
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Oh, yes, that's much better.
0:11:14 > 0:11:15Hillary, listen closely,
0:11:15 > 0:11:16this is important.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Important. Yes, I got that.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24If a gumboil could boil oil, how much oil would a gumboil boil?
0:11:25 > 0:11:28What? Oh, for heaven's sake...
0:11:38 > 0:11:39Come on!
0:11:54 > 0:11:56I was just taking a call.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03SHE CHUCKLES
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Rory, you must be delighted with your award.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11I am! But I don't want to make a big thing of it.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13I'm so proud of you, Rory.
0:12:13 > 0:12:14Thanks, Dino.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16And when you go up to collect that award,
0:12:16 > 0:12:19I'll be standing there clapping like a sea lion on speed.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Ow! Ow! Ow!
0:12:24 > 0:12:25What?
0:12:25 > 0:12:27There's only one ticket to the awards party.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30AUDIENCE: Oooh...
0:12:30 > 0:12:32I'm going to the toilet.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35..In a polka dot dress with just one leg!
0:12:35 > 0:12:36THEY LAUGH
0:12:36 > 0:12:40I think the family doing a Nativity play will be great fun.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Can Bono be in it?
0:12:42 > 0:12:44The whole family's in it, Betty. Even you.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Ah, no, Mrs Brown, let someone else be the Virgin Mary.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52That part is already gone.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54THEY LAUGH
0:12:54 > 0:12:56What are you fucking laughing at?
0:12:58 > 0:12:59I've no idea.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Are you religious, Mrs McGoogan?
0:13:04 > 0:13:06I am, Maria. I'm a great believer.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Except for the virgin birth, and heaven and hell.
0:13:12 > 0:13:13But apart from that?
0:13:13 > 0:13:15I'm a believer.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18Oh, I believe in the virgin birth. Oh, yes.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20You know, I've never told anybody this
0:13:20 > 0:13:22but, Cathy, you were a virgin birth.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Your father's Richard Branson.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33Do you believe in life after death, Mrs Brown?
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Do you know, my Redser asked me that about a month before he died.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38It was the last thing I ever heard him say.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40He didn't speak after that?
0:13:40 > 0:13:42No, I just stopped fucking listening.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46SHE CHUCKLES
0:13:46 > 0:13:49You had a baby with Richard Branson?
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Was the sex good?
0:13:56 > 0:13:58Winnie, it was a joke.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Well, at least you got a baby out of it.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Cathy, you might get cheap flights.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Right, I'm going to get them in.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14I'm going to the little girls' room.
0:14:14 > 0:14:15Hang on, I'll go with you.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19(Pssst.)
0:14:19 > 0:14:20Go on, I'll mind your handbag.
0:14:22 > 0:14:23What?
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Go for your pssst.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29No, come here. Look at that.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32It's a letter from a television company to Cathy Brown.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35- Did she fall for it?- I think so.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38She did! She's showing it to Mrs McGoogan now.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40This is going to be fun!
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Read that.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48"Dear Cathy Brown, thank you for entering your mother into
0:14:48 > 0:14:51"the best Christmas mothers competition programme
0:14:51 > 0:14:53"that we are making."
0:14:53 > 0:14:55- That's brilliant, Agnes. - I know.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Look, they're going to install secret hidden cameras
0:14:58 > 0:15:03all over the house, to film me while I'm doing normal things.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07And look, "Do not tell your mother."
0:15:08 > 0:15:11I won't.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14What?
0:15:14 > 0:15:16I won't tell me mother.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19No, Cathy's not to tell her mother.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Good, cos my mother's dead.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Look, we just have to pretend that the cameras aren't there.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Right, so just act normal.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Fuck no, I want to win this!
0:15:35 > 0:15:37The grotto's looking good.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41And I'm after getting a lovely big chair for Santa Claus to sit in.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Where would we get a Santa Claus?
0:15:51 > 0:15:52I don't know.
0:15:54 > 0:15:55I spoke to Father Damien.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Well, what is it that has him so angry?
0:15:57 > 0:16:00He hasn't spoken to his mother in five years.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Keep talking to him, son, keep talking.
0:16:02 > 0:16:03I will.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08What will I be in the Nativity play, Agnes?
0:16:11 > 0:16:12One of the seven dwarves.
0:16:16 > 0:16:17Brilliant, who's the other two?
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Now, how can I be a better Christmas mother today?
0:16:30 > 0:16:34Cos I want to be the best Christmas mother in the whole world!
0:16:34 > 0:16:37I'll put the kettle on... with spring water.
0:16:41 > 0:16:42Only the best for my family.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Hello, Mrs Brown.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Hiya, Mammy.
0:16:51 > 0:16:55If it isn't the happy couple. And parents of triplets.
0:16:56 > 0:17:03And their friend, the lovely Buster. Hello! Do come in, sit down.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06How can I be of help to you today?
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Well, Derm is on his way to work
0:17:08 > 0:17:11and I'm off to the pharmacy to get something for the triplets. They're feverish.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14The poor little mites! Is there anything I can do?
0:17:14 > 0:17:15Maybe cuddle them?
0:17:15 > 0:17:18Or I can give them a kidney, if they need it?
0:17:18 > 0:17:20I'm just here to give Grandad his beard
0:17:20 > 0:17:22- and hat for his first day as Santa. - Let me give it to him.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25I mean, after all, I am his carer.
0:17:25 > 0:17:29As well as being a mother, I am also a carer for Grandad.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32Hello, Princess! I'm just going to care for Grandad.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Cathy, what the hell is up with Mammy?
0:17:36 > 0:17:39Oh, Cathy, tell them, please.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42Now, Grandad, I am going to place this beard on your face
0:17:42 > 0:17:43very tenderly...
0:17:45 > 0:17:46..cos I am your carer.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49Don't hit me!
0:17:49 > 0:17:53"Don't hit me"! He's... He's... You're so funny!
0:17:53 > 0:17:56Those fucking cameras won't be there for ever.
0:17:58 > 0:18:02Now, look, see how tender that was?
0:18:02 > 0:18:04I am tender, cos I am your carer. I am a carer.
0:18:06 > 0:18:07I care.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Mrs Brown, I would love a sandwich, if you have one.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13Yes, of course, Buster!
0:18:18 > 0:18:23There is always food available in the house...for friends.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27- Right, I'm off. - I'll go with you.- Later...
0:18:27 > 0:18:29Bye-bye. See you later.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32These are lovely sandwiches, Mrs Brown.
0:18:32 > 0:18:33Oh, they're just...
0:18:34 > 0:18:38Tomorrow, Mammy, I think I'd like some fried brie cheese
0:18:38 > 0:18:42with some cranberry sauce. What would you like, Buster?
0:18:42 > 0:18:46Um, a ham and cheese toasted panini.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56- Fine.- Would you like me to write that down for you, Mammy?
0:18:56 > 0:18:59Oh, no, I have a photogenic memory.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03I'm just going to go outside and have a smoke.
0:19:03 > 0:19:04Have it here!
0:19:04 > 0:19:08No! I wouldn't smoke where there's food! Where you're eating.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11Oh, gosh, no! What kind of mother would that be?
0:19:13 > 0:19:15CAT SQUEALS
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Pan-fucking-ini!
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Right, Buster, come on, move it.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23See you, Mammy.
0:19:23 > 0:19:24Good luck!
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Ow!
0:19:32 > 0:19:36Oh, I'm so glad they enjoyed my cunnilingus efforts.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42Well, if it isn't my next-door neighbour and best friend, Winifred.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45Hello, Winifred. How are you today?
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Sorry, wrong house.
0:19:49 > 0:19:53Winnie! It's me! Agnes.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57I'm sorry, Agnes, I thought... Why are you talking like that?
0:20:01 > 0:20:03(Get under the table.)
0:20:06 > 0:20:10Winnie, for God's sake, you're forgetting about the cameras.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11Oh, I'm sorry.
0:20:11 > 0:20:12Keep it in mind.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15Now, look, I've got somebody coming but it should take too long.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18You go over and put the kettle on in your house and I'll come over
0:20:18 > 0:20:20- and have a cup of tea.- Right.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26Well, yoga under the table. I've never tried that before.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28What a good idea, Winnie.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31Now, maybe you should go home to your own house, have a safe journey.
0:20:31 > 0:20:38Farewell, Agnes. I go now and make merry in my kitchen.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46(Winnie, fuck off!)
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Right.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53PHONE RINGS
0:20:56 > 0:20:58Hello, the Brown residence.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02Oh, hello, thank you very much for calling back.
0:21:02 > 0:21:03DOORBELL RINGS
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Grandad, get that feckin'...
0:21:07 > 0:21:13Grandpappy, could you attend to the door, please?
0:21:17 > 0:21:19The witch is in the kitchen.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26Oh, yes, all big families are like that.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Children just moan, moan, moan.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31"Oh, Mammy, get your foot of me throat", yeah.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Just hold on, please, somebody wants to talk to you.
0:21:39 > 0:21:43It's your mother. It's Christmas, now be Christian.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49Hello? Yes, Mother, it's me.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52I've missed you, too.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58Take as long as you need, son. Don't touch the fucking biscuits.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08All clear.
0:22:08 > 0:22:12Well, Winnie, we seem to be alone.
0:22:12 > 0:22:16What shall we do? I know, let's have afternoon tea.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19Agnes, why are you talking like that again? It's not...
0:22:24 > 0:22:28Winnie, for God's sake, you forgot about the feckin' cameras.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Oh, sorry! The pretend cameras, I forgot!
0:22:30 > 0:22:33- Now, just keep them in your mind. - Right.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38So, Winnie, shall we...?
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Get in there.
0:22:45 > 0:22:46What do you mean, pretend cameras?
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Well, Sharon told me it was Cathy
0:22:48 > 0:22:51wrote the letter about pretending cameras were in the house.
0:22:51 > 0:22:52What?
0:22:57 > 0:22:58When did Sharon tell you this?
0:22:58 > 0:23:00The day after you showed me the letter.
0:23:03 > 0:23:04Why didn't you tell me?
0:23:04 > 0:23:07Because you told me not to talk about it.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Anyway, you were enjoying it.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14Enjoying it? I'm exhausted running after them bastards!
0:23:14 > 0:23:15Well, I'm going!
0:23:17 > 0:23:20Thanks, Winnie. Thanks for feckin' nothing!
0:23:20 > 0:23:21You're welcome!
0:23:24 > 0:23:26- I'm home, Mammy. - DOOR CLOSES
0:23:33 > 0:23:36I'm in the kitchen, dearest one.
0:23:36 > 0:23:37Hiya, Mammy.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Hello, Princess.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42Er, lunch?
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Do sit down, let me present it to you.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Now, here we go...
0:23:54 > 0:23:58Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Oh, my God, look at that.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Oh... Oh, ho...
0:24:07 > 0:24:09You know, don't ya?
0:24:09 > 0:24:12You bet your cotton-picking knickers I know.
0:24:16 > 0:24:17Merry Christmas!
0:24:28 > 0:24:29Science and nature!
0:24:33 > 0:24:36- There you are, love. - Thanks for this, Ma.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38It's our last chance for a Christmas night out.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41It's my pleasure. I'm delighted to have Bono staying over.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43He's in bed now, Mrs Brown, but he'll not sleep.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45Leave him to me. I'll go up and try to tuck him in.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48- Thanks. - DOORBELL RINGS
0:24:48 > 0:24:49I'll get it.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55- What do you want? - Rory, I just wanted to say I'm sorry
0:24:55 > 0:24:57and have a great night at the awards.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59I'm not going.
0:24:59 > 0:25:00What?
0:25:00 > 0:25:04I'm not going without you. Come in!
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Can you not sleep, Bono?
0:25:11 > 0:25:14No, Granny. I'm too excited about Santa Claus coming.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16It's just so close.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18I know, I was like that when I was a little girl.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Oh, what have we got there?
0:25:23 > 0:25:25My old music box.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27MUSIC PLAYS
0:25:28 > 0:25:34My daddy gave that to me when I was, oh, about your age.
0:25:36 > 0:25:41I remember me father's smile, in the glow of a bedside light.
0:25:42 > 0:25:48He'd tuck the blankets beneath me chin, to settle me for the night.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54And the stories Daddy would tell to me,
0:25:54 > 0:25:57they had a magic now, so it seems.
0:25:59 > 0:26:03They all began, "Once upon a time,
0:26:03 > 0:26:06"in a land of fairy-tale dreams..."
0:26:11 > 0:26:13MUSIC PLAYS
0:26:17 > 0:26:19Listen, it's Daddy's song.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30There'd be a princess that no man could resist.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35She'd turn the frog into a prince with just a kiss.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41And a knight in shining armour with a magic sword...
0:26:43 > 0:26:45Daddy would act it out word for word.
0:26:45 > 0:26:49And when it came to the part where the hero died,
0:26:49 > 0:26:52he'd cuddle me while I cried.
0:26:53 > 0:26:59And he'd whisper in me ear, "Don't you worry, dear, heroes never die."
0:27:08 > 0:27:12- What's this?- The bishop's permission to stage a Nativity play.
0:27:12 > 0:27:13Come in.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23But the greatest hero in my life,
0:27:23 > 0:27:26he never slayed a dragon or left any troll dead.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31He was just a plain and simple man,
0:27:31 > 0:27:34but each night tucked me in me bed.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42You know, when I think of Daddy and his love and his touch
0:27:42 > 0:27:46and how we all laughed...so much.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51And I don't miss him, you know, not a single bit...
0:27:53 > 0:27:57Sure, why would I? Heroes never die.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15Good night, Bono. Merry Christmas.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18And merry Christmas to you, too!
0:28:35 > 0:28:38Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd