0:00:02 > 0:00:09This programme contains adult humour and some strong language.
0:00:10 > 0:00:11Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:00:11 > 0:00:15Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# She's Mrs Brown
0:00:18 > 0:00:21# That's Mrs Brown
0:00:21 > 0:00:24# Our Mrs Brown. #
0:00:27 > 0:00:31Hello! Season's greetings, and I hope you're having a jolly time.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Ha-ha!
0:00:33 > 0:00:36Oh, Christmas is a marvellous time.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Stringing the Christmas lights across your roof
0:00:38 > 0:00:42and plugging them into your neighbour's garage. Ha-ha!
0:00:42 > 0:00:46Going to the Christmas office party and having a snog with the boss,
0:00:46 > 0:00:48and then looking for a new job the next day.
0:00:49 > 0:00:53And, of course, family coming home. Have YOU anybody coming home?
0:00:53 > 0:00:54I have.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57My son Trevor's coming home for his usual Christmas visit.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00- DOORBELL - Excuse me. I'll get that.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Oh, and a new Christmas tree.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05DOORBELL
0:01:05 > 0:01:07- Door.- I heard it. Feck off.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09I'll tell you about the tree in a minute.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14- Cathy Brown?- Er...yes, that's me.
0:01:16 > 0:01:17That's a big box, Missus.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Not the first time I've heard that, son.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24- KNOCK ON DOOR 'Here, you need to sign this.' - Put an X beside it.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Where was I? The Christmas tree. Come here.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Now, look.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36It looks like a normal Christmas tree, but watch this.
0:01:36 > 0:01:40# We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas
0:01:40 > 0:01:44# We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year
0:01:44 > 0:01:46# We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you... #
0:01:46 > 0:01:49And then you just say "stop", and it stops.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52# We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year. #
0:01:54 > 0:01:56That's nice.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58- Tea.- I'll get your tea in a minute.
0:01:58 > 0:01:59Howya, Ma?
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Hello, Mark, love. I'll be in in a minute.
0:02:02 > 0:02:03- Make yourself a cup of tea. - Is that Mark I hear?
0:02:03 > 0:02:06# We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas... #
0:02:06 > 0:02:08- Did you clap?- Clap?
0:02:08 > 0:02:09Yes, you know, clap.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12TREE STOPS SINGING
0:02:12 > 0:02:13Oh, it's stopped.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16DISTORTED SINGING
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Now it's going buckin' backwards!
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Here, Cathy, a box came for you.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25- Oh, yeah, grand. Thanks. - Er...hey...
0:02:27 > 0:02:29- I'll open it later. - Oh, sure you're here now.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32- Later, thank you.- Oh, I'm sure you're dying to see what's in it.
0:02:32 > 0:02:33I'll open it later.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Open the fuckin' box.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38No. Now, come in here.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41Me and Mark want to talk to you about something.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Shall I bring in the box?
0:02:43 > 0:02:45No, thank you.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Don't forget me tea.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49I got your tea. You drank it. It's gone.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53- More tea, Cathy?- Oh, yes, thanks.
0:02:53 > 0:02:57Here, Mark, don't make this chat too long, Cathy's dying to open her box.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Is that the stuff you got for your new part-time job?
0:03:00 > 0:03:03I bet he's delighted you're having the firm's party in our house.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Party? What's this about a party?
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Nothing. Now, sit down. There's something we want to run by you.
0:03:09 > 0:03:10Go on.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13We've decided to do a Secret Santa this year.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15And he's in the box.
0:03:16 > 0:03:20This is nothing to do with the box, Mammy.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Fine, then what does this "Secret Santa" mean?
0:03:22 > 0:03:26Mammy, we put the names into a hat and everybody picks out a name.
0:03:26 > 0:03:27Mark...
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Do you know what's in the box?
0:03:32 > 0:03:33Mammy!
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Once you've picked a name out, you don't tell anybody
0:03:37 > 0:03:40the name you've picked, and you buy a present, only for that person.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42- Really?- Really.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44And you've decided this?
0:03:44 > 0:03:46- Yeah, we did.- What am I missing?
0:03:46 > 0:03:49You're getting fuck-all for Christmas!
0:03:49 > 0:03:54Stop it, Mammy. Rory, we've decided to do a Secret Santa.
0:03:54 > 0:03:55Oh.
0:03:55 > 0:03:59Rory, you don't seem to be too happy about Secret Santa.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02Well, it's just that Dino's getting me something expensive,
0:04:02 > 0:04:05and I wanted to get him something really special.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Would that ruin the Secret Santa?
0:04:07 > 0:04:10No, no, Rory. It's only for the immediate family.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14That's all right, so.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Oh, who owns the box?
0:04:18 > 0:04:20- Your sister Cathy. - It's big, isn't it?
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Not as big as your mother's, love.
0:04:26 > 0:04:31Is it not possible in this house that my box can remain private?!
0:04:34 > 0:04:35For God's sake.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39You said you'd get me tea an hour ago.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42And you said you wouldn't live past 2010, so we're quits.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Hold on, Cathy. Stall the ball now.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50You've broken the Secret Santa rule already.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Only the immediate family.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56So, Rory gets a present off Dino AND a Secret Santa.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Mark gets a present off Betty AND a Secret Santa.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02I get a Secret Santa. One present.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Luck of the draw.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09See you, Ma.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Luck of the buckin' draw.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21"Pregnant high jumper up the pole."
0:05:25 > 0:05:26Hi, Agnes.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Hello, Winnie.
0:05:28 > 0:05:29Oh, dear, Winnie,
0:05:29 > 0:05:32I was expecting you to produce a box of Milk Tray.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35I have some wine gums, if you want one.
0:05:35 > 0:05:40No. All black, you know. "And all because the lady..."
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Oh, it doesn't matter. So, who's dead?
0:05:42 > 0:05:45My God, Agnes, you must be psychic!
0:05:50 > 0:05:53Oh, Winnie. Jacko hasn't gone, has he?
0:05:53 > 0:05:55- Oh, no, no.- Oh, thank God.
0:05:55 > 0:05:56His Willy passed away.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05He's dying bit by bit.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09Jacko's brother Willy!
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Oh.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14The removal is today. I'm just going over there now.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17- That's awful.- It's not TOO bad.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21It's right beside the hospital, and I was heading that way anyway.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25No, I meant that the chap died is very sad.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28A happy release, really, Agnes. He was sick for years.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30It'll be a quick funeral.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32- I'd better get over there now. - On the bus?
0:06:32 > 0:06:35No, they'll probably have a hearse.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44Still, it's sad for the family.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Nothing spoils Christmas like a dead Willy.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52There's no more family, Agnes.
0:06:52 > 0:06:56My Jacko is all that's left of the McGoogans now.
0:06:56 > 0:07:00- Well, Winnie, maybe he'll inherit the family fortune. - SHE LAUGHS
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Morning, Mrs McGoogan. Off to a funeral?
0:07:07 > 0:07:10My God, yous are all psychic!
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Are you going to a wedding, Mrs McGoogan?
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Don't be ridiculous, Buster. Dressed like this?
0:07:19 > 0:07:22If it was a wedding, I'd wear a flower.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Hello, son. Are you having a cup of tea?
0:07:28 > 0:07:30No, thanks, Ma. Just passing through.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Like the wind through my f... Yes.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36What are you promoting this week, son?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38- It's a magic show that's on in the Olympia.- Oh.
0:07:38 > 0:07:39The Merlin Magic Show.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43"Come see the wizards of old, and some cunning stunts."
0:07:43 > 0:07:46LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:07:53 > 0:07:56Well, that's the difference between a magician's wand
0:07:56 > 0:07:58and a policeman's baton, son.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01A magician's wand is used for cunning stunts.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03LAUGHTER AMD APPLAUSE
0:08:09 > 0:08:11- What are you supposed to be, son? - I'm a serf.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Well, you can SERF yourself!
0:08:13 > 0:08:17You can SERF yourself! It doesn't matter.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Get yourself some tea, son.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21No, we're OK.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24So, is Cathy all geared up for her first party?
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Dermot, what is this party thing?
0:08:28 > 0:08:30I don't know what he's talking about, Mammy.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Cathy was looking for a part-time job at nights,
0:08:32 > 0:08:35so I put her in touch with people I know called Tickled Pink Parties.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39And how would she earn from that?
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Well, she has a party at a friend's house
0:08:41 > 0:08:43and at the party she sells them...
0:08:46 > 0:08:47Stuff.
0:08:48 > 0:08:49Stuff.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Like a Tupperware party.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Well, no.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59Yeah, Mammy. That's the one. A Tupperware party.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01We'd better go. Right, Buster, come on.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04A new tree?
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Yes, and look.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11# We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas
0:09:11 > 0:09:15# We wish you a merry Christmas And a happy New Year... #
0:09:15 > 0:09:17And then you just go...STOP!
0:09:17 > 0:09:21# We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas... #
0:09:21 > 0:09:23TREE STOPS SINGING
0:09:23 > 0:09:25- Buster sold it to me.- Did he now?
0:09:25 > 0:09:27I've never seen anything like it before.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30- I have.- Where?
0:09:30 > 0:09:31At the Merlin Magic Show.
0:09:34 > 0:09:35Come on, you. Let's go.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Here, Dermot. I might get a gig at that show.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41I did make a tree disappear.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43# We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas
0:09:43 > 0:09:46# We wish you a merry Christmas And a happy New Year... #
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Stop. Stop!
0:09:48 > 0:09:51# We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Chri... #
0:09:51 > 0:09:53Ah!
0:09:57 > 0:09:58Ouch!
0:10:00 > 0:10:02DOOR CLOSES
0:10:02 > 0:10:05- How are you, Mammy? - Rory, love, hello. Sit down, love.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Rory, what's this expensive thing
0:10:08 > 0:10:10that Dino's getting you for Christmas?
0:10:10 > 0:10:13- Oh, Mammy! I'm so excited.- Lovely.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16It's the best thing ever.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18I just feel so lucky and blessed.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Just buckin' tell me.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24Well, do you know what I mean by Botox?
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Of course I know what you mean by Botox.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Only me. Forgot my bag.
0:10:30 > 0:10:31Yeah, Winnie, not now, love.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Rory wants to talk about his testicles.
0:10:44 > 0:10:45Go on, son.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Well, for years now, I've been having Botox injections.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50- SHE GASPS - Oh!
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Injections in your Botox?
0:10:56 > 0:10:57Why?!
0:10:57 > 0:11:00Well, you know, to hide the wrinkles.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Rory, do those wrinkles even matter?
0:11:08 > 0:11:10I mean, who the hell is going to see them?
0:11:10 > 0:11:11Dino sees them,
0:11:11 > 0:11:15and so does everybody else that comes into Wash & Blow.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17OK, don't tell me no more, no more.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22But the good news is, I won't need me Botox any more.
0:11:26 > 0:11:27No more?
0:11:27 > 0:11:31Dino's paying for me to have plastic surgery.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33- Oh!- So, no more Botox.
0:11:33 > 0:11:34No more Botox?
0:11:37 > 0:11:40- And the surgeon said he can transform me.- Transform?
0:11:40 > 0:11:41And he's quick.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44One minute he has me on the operating table,
0:11:44 > 0:11:45does the business, nip, tuck.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48The next minute there's a woman on the table.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50In and out.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Woman?
0:11:56 > 0:11:58I've got to go.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04And don't worry, Mammy, the surgeon's the best in the business,
0:12:04 > 0:12:07and it's costing Dino over 3,000 euro.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11But as he says, it's a snip at the price.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19I'm hungry.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21- Order some peanuts.- Nah.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24You know when you get that thing where you want something to eat,
0:12:24 > 0:12:26- but you don't know what?- Yeah.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Oh, Mr Foley, any chance of a quickie?
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Winnie...it's pronounced "quiche".
0:12:37 > 0:12:38Sorry.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41APPLAUSE
0:12:43 > 0:12:45A quiche, then.
0:12:45 > 0:12:46No. The kitchen's closed.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53Agnes Brown, you don't seem yourself tonight. What's wrong?
0:12:53 > 0:12:55AGNES SIGHS
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Rory's having a sex change.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03I had a sex change in 1990.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08We used to have sex of a Tuesday, then I changed it to a Friday.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13It set me up for the weekend.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Winnie, he's going to become a woman.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18No! So how would they do that?
0:13:18 > 0:13:22I don't know, but they start by cutting off his Botox.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25- Winnie, keep that to yourself. - Yeah. Sharon...
0:13:25 > 0:13:29- Rory's having a sex change. - Oh, for feck's sake.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34I wonder what it's like to be a man.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36I haven't the faintest idea.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Do you never imagine what it would be like to be your Redser,
0:13:41 > 0:13:43you know, someone with no...
0:13:43 > 0:13:46- Job?- No. No.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50- Personal hygiene?- No jingos.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51Jeez, no. I never worried.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Redser's boobies were always bigger than mine.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58- Good night, Mammy. - Good night, son.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Good night, daughter...love.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03No, Winnie, I've never wanted to have a man's body.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07I was always happy with the body that the good Lord gave me.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Well, I wish it was the same for Rory.
0:14:10 > 0:14:14Winnie, hold on, now. It doesn't matter what happens.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17Whatever, Rory will still be my child.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21I'm lucky. I was born with the body I want.
0:14:21 > 0:14:25Not everybody's born with the body they want. And Rory...
0:14:25 > 0:14:28Well, his happiness is all that's important.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32I suppose. Well, I'll love him, no matter what.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35- Thanks, Winnie, you're a good friend.- Ah.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38It's just the thought of somebody fiddling with his bits and bobs.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Mmm. Who's Bob?
0:14:43 > 0:14:46- Howya, Mrs Brown? - Hello, Buster. What are you selling?
0:14:46 > 0:14:49- Uh...- What are they? Oh, fire extinguishers.
0:14:49 > 0:14:53E-Exactly. A fire extinguisher. A tenner each.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Not a high price to pay for safety, what?
0:14:56 > 0:14:58No. So, do they work?
0:14:58 > 0:14:59To be honest, Mrs Brown,
0:14:59 > 0:15:01I didn't even know what it was till you said it.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03The fella gave me a bag of them
0:15:03 > 0:15:05and said if I'd sell them all, he'll give me one free.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08- One what?- I don't know. I hope it's not one of THEM.
0:15:09 > 0:15:10So, do you want one?
0:15:10 > 0:15:13- Do you know what, Buster? I'll take two.- Fair enough.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17- Guess what.- What?
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Me and Jacko have a new house.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22What? When? Where?
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Well, Jacko's brother Willy what died, well, he was living in the
0:15:25 > 0:15:30family home, and now Jacko gets it, and it's right next to the hospital.
0:15:30 > 0:15:34- But, but...- You know something? I'll get us another round in.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37You always bring me luck, Agnes Brown.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42- AUDIENCE:- Aw!
0:15:42 > 0:15:43Don't I.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52You're not seriously thinking of moving home?
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Oh, I know what you're going to say, Agnes -
0:15:54 > 0:15:57"I'll give you a hand." Well, don't...
0:15:57 > 0:16:00- Oh, shit! Sorry. I'm so sorry...- OK.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03I know what you're going to say, Agnes - "I'll help you move."
0:16:03 > 0:16:04No, I was going to say, "Let's do it again."
0:16:08 > 0:16:10I know what you're going to say, Agnes.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12- "I'll help you move."- No.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14- Well, don't give it a second thought.- I wasn't.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17Because Jacko has arranged for two of the hospital porters
0:16:17 > 0:16:21- to help us with the move.- When?
0:16:21 > 0:16:22First thing in the New Year.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Oh.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26- Can you believe it, Agnes - me moving out of Finglas?- Mm.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28I've been living beside you for...
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Ever.
0:16:30 > 0:16:31Exactly.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35Popping in and out every day, stuck to you like glue in Foley's.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38I bet you'll be glad to see the back of me.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Delighted.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Here, what's in the box?
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Cathy's Tupperware stuff. She's doing parties now.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48- Oh, what kind of stuff? - The usual Tupperware stuff.
0:16:48 > 0:16:49Oh.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Let's have a peek.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Jesus, Tupperware's changed since my day!
0:17:19 > 0:17:21My Trevor's on his way here.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Father Damien's picking him up at the airport.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25I'm trying to make his favourite -
0:17:25 > 0:17:27home-made apple pie and whipped cream,
0:17:27 > 0:17:29and I can't find my feckin' whisk.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Where did I leave that whisk?
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Cathy's Tupperware.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46BUZZING
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Hello! I'm home.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04- I'm...I'm in the kitchen. - OVEN BELL DINGS
0:18:06 > 0:18:09Oh, now.
0:18:09 > 0:18:10It's good to be home, Mammy.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Oh, Trevor! It's so good to see you, love.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Oh, look at you. You've lost weight.
0:18:15 > 0:18:16Hello, Father.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Hello. So, you were saying, it's cold in Boston?
0:18:19 > 0:18:21You know, it's cold here as well.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25I passed a dog the other day and he was stuck to a lamppost.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31You know, this reminds me of my childhood.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Oh.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34The smell of apple pie just out of the oven
0:18:34 > 0:18:37and my mammy whipping the cream.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Just wonderful.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44I used to stand beside my mammy and hope that
0:18:44 > 0:18:49when she'd finished whipping the cream, she'd let me lick the whisk.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Go on, Father.
0:19:02 > 0:19:03Go on.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Excuse me, Damien.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12- Mammy?- What? - Where did you get that?
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Cathy's Tupperware box.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17That's not Tupperware and it's not meant for whipping cream.
0:19:17 > 0:19:18But what is it for, then?
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Oh, Father! Father, I'm so sorry. I had no idea.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31No problem, Mrs Brown!
0:19:31 > 0:19:33APPLAUSE
0:19:36 > 0:19:39"Guaranteed to hot things up in the bedroom."
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Is it an electric blanket?
0:19:44 > 0:19:45I don't think so.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47No, thanks.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50But how would this stuff hot things up?
0:19:50 > 0:19:51I don't know.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54- I suppose you'd have to see it on, really.- Mmm.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03The basque doesn't make sense.
0:20:03 > 0:20:07I...I like the fishnet stockings, though.
0:20:10 > 0:20:15What the hell is going on?! I have to sell those!
0:20:15 > 0:20:17You should be ashamed of yourself, selling such filth.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19I feel betrayed.
0:20:19 > 0:20:20I feel shocked.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22I feel good.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26How do you think I feckin' feel?
0:20:26 > 0:20:28LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:20:30 > 0:20:33- I'm going home. Sorry, Cathy, love. - Listen, Mammy.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36My boss from the party company is calling here for my sales report
0:20:36 > 0:20:38on my first week's parties.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41Oh, your sinful earnings from selling those mechanical man bits.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45- Do not say that when my boss gets here.- It's true.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48I mean it, Mammy. Do not mess this up on me.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Fine.
0:20:57 > 0:20:58Toilet.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Hello!
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Hello!
0:21:11 > 0:21:13I'm in the toilet!
0:21:13 > 0:21:17We're back, Mrs Brown, and the surgery was a huge success.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Oh, great. I can't wait to come out and see it.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23For God's sake, Rory, don't just jump about. Go upstairs.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28DOORBELL
0:21:31 > 0:21:35- Hello.- I'm Margaret Waters from Tickled Pink.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37I'm looking for Cathy Brown.
0:21:37 > 0:21:38Yes, right house. Come in.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Cathy, you have a visitor.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Would you like a cup of tea?
0:21:49 > 0:21:52- Yes, I would.- Well, make yourself at home. I'll put the kettle on.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04LAUGHTER
0:22:15 > 0:22:16Rory!
0:22:16 > 0:22:18It's Margaret, actually.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21It's Margaret now, is it?
0:22:23 > 0:22:25I'm sure I'll get used to it.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Hey, Dino, where's Mammy?
0:22:29 > 0:22:33- She's inside with Cathy's party thing boss. Tea, lads?- Love one.
0:22:33 > 0:22:34Amazing.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Are you in any pain?
0:22:38 > 0:22:39No.
0:22:39 > 0:22:43Good. Amazing. Jump up and down.
0:22:43 > 0:22:44Jump!
0:22:46 > 0:22:48LAUGHTER
0:22:48 > 0:22:49Amazing.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52What does it look like?
0:22:52 > 0:22:56I'm sorry, but what... LAUGHTER
0:22:57 > 0:23:00Mammy, what are you doing?!
0:23:00 > 0:23:03It's OK, Rory. I'm just checking.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07Mammy, get out here!
0:23:07 > 0:23:10Cathy, I was just... Hello, son. I was just...
0:23:23 > 0:23:27I can explain everything.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29That's nice.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35# And a happy New Year We wish you a merry Christmas
0:23:35 > 0:23:39# We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas
0:23:39 > 0:23:41- # And a happy New Year... # - Please make it STOP!
0:23:41 > 0:23:43I can't!
0:23:43 > 0:23:45I can't find the feckin' switch.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47# We wish you a merry Christmas... #
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Hold on, I'll just detach the wires.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52# We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas... #
0:23:52 > 0:23:55Wait a minute. First things first.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58# We wish you a merry Christmas... #
0:23:58 > 0:23:59I'm turning off the power.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02# We wish you a merry Christmas And a... #
0:24:02 > 0:24:04SHE SIGHS
0:24:04 > 0:24:05Now you're talking.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Howya, Grandad?
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Hello, Mrs Brown. I'm here to fit the fire extinguishers.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Work away, Buster. I'll be in in a minute.
0:24:16 > 0:24:17But first, a cup of tea.
0:24:23 > 0:24:24Is the kettle broken?
0:24:30 > 0:24:34Ah, here's the problem. The power's off.
0:24:34 > 0:24:35Will I turn it back on?
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Oh, yeah.
0:24:42 > 0:24:46- ELECTRICAL CRACKLING - Argh!
0:25:05 > 0:25:06Are we all ready for Secret Santa?
0:25:06 > 0:25:07ALL: Yes!
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Are you all right, Mammy?
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Of course I'm all right. Why wouldn't I be?
0:25:11 > 0:25:15Surrounded by my family, and Rory looking so happy.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20Good for you.
0:25:25 > 0:25:26Feck off!
0:25:28 > 0:25:31Well, are we all ready for Secret Santa?
0:25:31 > 0:25:32ALL: Yes.
0:25:32 > 0:25:37OK. And the first Secret Santa is for...
0:25:37 > 0:25:38Me.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Thank you, Secret Santa.
0:25:41 > 0:25:46And the second Secret Santa is for...Mark.
0:25:46 > 0:25:50Oh, no, wait. That's "Mammy". Me, it's me.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Thank you, Secret Santa. So generous!
0:25:52 > 0:25:53And the third Secret Santa...
0:25:53 > 0:25:56Hang on. We can probably save several hours here.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Did we all have Mammy on our piece of paper?
0:25:58 > 0:26:01ALL: Yes.
0:26:01 > 0:26:02Luck of the feckin' draw.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05APPLAUSE
0:26:08 > 0:26:12- Well, I have only one thing to say to you, Mammy.- Go on.
0:26:12 > 0:26:16Fair play to you. You deserve every present you get.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18- ALL: Yes. - Oh, thank you so much.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Well, now, what we need is a Christmas song.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23ALL: Yes!
0:26:23 > 0:26:27Oh, we need snow. Snow, hello!
0:26:27 > 0:26:29MUSIC BEGINS
0:26:31 > 0:26:34# He's the little boy that Santa Claus forgot
0:26:36 > 0:26:40# And goodness knows he didn't want a lot
0:26:42 > 0:26:48# He sent a note to Santa for some soldiers and a drum
0:26:49 > 0:26:54# Broke his little heart when he found Santa hadn't come
0:26:56 > 0:27:00# In the street he envies all those lucky boys
0:27:01 > 0:27:06# Then wanders home to last year's broken toys
0:27:07 > 0:27:12# I'm so sorry for that laddie He hasn't got a daddy
0:27:14 > 0:27:18# The little boy that Santa Claus forgot. #
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Merry Christmas, Granny.
0:27:22 > 0:27:23- AUDIENCE:- Aw!
0:27:23 > 0:27:26Merry Christmas, Bono!
0:27:32 > 0:27:35You know, another year gone.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37They seem to go so quickly now.
0:27:40 > 0:27:41Hi, Agnes.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44Winnie, what are you doing here this hour of the night?
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Can I borrow your whisk?
0:27:46 > 0:27:49LAUGHTER
0:27:50 > 0:27:52No.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54- Fine.- Winnie?
0:27:54 > 0:27:56- What?- Don't move.
0:27:57 > 0:27:58Is it a spider?
0:27:59 > 0:28:02No. Don't move house.
0:28:02 > 0:28:04Don't move house?
0:28:04 > 0:28:06Yes. I don't want you to go.
0:28:06 > 0:28:07OK.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09- AUDIENCE:- Aw!
0:28:09 > 0:28:12- Good night, Winnie. - Good night, Agnes.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20Merry Christmas. Good night.
0:28:23 > 0:28:27# Say hello to the queen of Dublin town
0:28:29 > 0:28:33# As the best mum of all, she wears the crown
0:28:35 > 0:28:38# Mother hen watching all her chicks
0:28:38 > 0:28:40# Sassy old lady full of tricks
0:28:40 > 0:28:47# It's a safe bet she'd never let life get her down
0:28:47 > 0:28:49# She's Mrs Brown... #
0:28:49 > 0:28:51Sev-en!
0:28:51 > 0:28:53# That's Mrs Brown
0:28:53 > 0:28:55# Our Mrs Brown. #
0:28:57 > 0:28:59Ha-ha-ha!