0:00:02 > 0:00:08This programme contains strong language.
0:00:10 > 0:00:11SHE LAUGHS
0:00:11 > 0:00:15Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# She's Mrs Brown
0:00:18 > 0:00:21# That's Mrs Brown
0:00:21 > 0:00:25# Our Mrs Brown. #
0:00:42 > 0:00:43Hello!
0:00:45 > 0:00:47I'm just in the middle of tidying the house.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50You see, in two days' time it'll be the 25th anniversary
0:00:50 > 0:00:52of my Redser passing. Lord rest him.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57And Father Damien is coming over to do a little memorial ceremony
0:00:57 > 0:00:58and a blessing.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00- Morning, Mammy.- Morning, chicken.
0:01:07 > 0:01:08Big sausage!
0:01:09 > 0:01:10DERMOT LAUGHS
0:01:10 > 0:01:13Here, why don't you measure his IQ?
0:01:13 > 0:01:14Very funny.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19OK, height is 71 inches.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Here, what are those two up to?
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Oh, Dermot's helping Buster fill out some form for a dating site.
0:01:24 > 0:01:25Some hope!
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Well, at least he's trying.
0:01:27 > 0:01:28And what's that supposed to mean?
0:01:28 > 0:01:31Well, Cathy, in fairness, the refrigerator light has gone out
0:01:31 > 0:01:33more than you have in the last two months.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Thanks for that, Mammy.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Sometimes I can't believe my ears.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39I know, I should have taped them back when you were a baby.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Ohh!
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Well, some man will be glad of them someday.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Now, where was I?
0:01:50 > 0:01:51Redser - yes!
0:01:51 > 0:01:54You know, losing a husband is difficult,
0:01:54 > 0:01:56in my case nearly impossible.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58My grandmother was a really tough woman.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01She buried two husbands and one of them was only asleep!
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Right, date of birth?
0:02:05 > 0:02:0716th of October.
0:02:07 > 0:02:08What year?
0:02:08 > 0:02:09Every year!
0:02:12 > 0:02:13What year were you born?
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Oh, right, sorry.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Well, me da' was five years older than me ma when they got married,
0:02:17 > 0:02:19and he was born in 1955,
0:02:19 > 0:02:21but me ma was pregnant with me before they were married,
0:02:21 > 0:02:23and that was the year her ma, my nan, got the shingles.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25- So, 1988.- Huh!
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Who's a clever sausage? SHE LAUGHS
0:02:30 > 0:02:33- Occupation.- Bitta this, bitta that! - That won't do.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36You're working for me part time so I'll put down marketing, er...
0:02:36 > 0:02:37Tool.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Operative. Marketing operative.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Why don't you put down thief?
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Mrs Brown, I've gone straight...
0:02:46 > 0:02:48ish.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Well, put down thief-ish.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54And carpenter's assistant.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Mark said he has a bit of work for me. A big contract.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Yes, and you keep your hands to yourself on that contract.
0:03:00 > 0:03:04It's important to Mark. I don't want anything going missing-ish.
0:03:06 > 0:03:07OK...
0:03:07 > 0:03:11"Have you tried any other internet sites looking for a date?"
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Red Hot Amateurs, Triple X Videos...
0:03:15 > 0:03:17..and Grannies Run Wild With Their Teeth Out.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19- Buster!- No.
0:03:21 > 0:03:22OK, that's it.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24I'm getting excited now.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Imagine, Mrs Brown, there's some girl out there
0:03:26 > 0:03:30that doesn't even know that all her dreams are going to come true.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Here, Ma, here's a sample of some hot dogs.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Oh, here, son, put on your bun.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36- It's cold out there.- Oh, yeah.
0:03:38 > 0:03:39Like a family album!
0:03:42 > 0:03:46Buster Brady going out on an internet date.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49See you, Ma.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53- See you, love. - Love you, Mrs Brown!
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Some girl is about to meet Buster Brady and find out that
0:04:04 > 0:04:07two billion years of evolution was a waste of fuckin' time.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11This is my favourite part of the day, you know,
0:04:11 > 0:04:15sitting down with a bit of peace and quiet, dunking a few digestives.
0:04:20 > 0:04:21Feckin' one left!
0:04:24 > 0:04:27- Howya?- Hello, Rory, love. Cup of tea, love?
0:04:27 > 0:04:28Yeah.
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Freeze!
0:04:34 > 0:04:35Step away from the digestive.
0:04:43 > 0:04:48Mammy, do you know one of the main causes of divorce?
0:04:48 > 0:04:49Marriage.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53No, boredom.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55How do you keep the spice in a relationship?
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Be unpredictable, love.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00- Your father and I used to make love in the dark all the time.- Oh?
0:05:00 > 0:05:03So one night when he was lying in the bed with the light on,
0:05:03 > 0:05:08I walked into the bedroom stark naked, wearing nothing but a smile.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10In a sexy voice I said to him...
0:05:12 > 0:05:14.."What can I do for you, Redser?"
0:05:14 > 0:05:15And what did he say?
0:05:15 > 0:05:17"Turn off the fuckin' light."
0:05:22 > 0:05:23Thanks, Mammy!
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Unpredictable.
0:05:28 > 0:05:29Yeah!
0:05:39 > 0:05:42So you just wanted to be unpredictable?
0:05:45 > 0:05:48MUFFLED SPEECH
0:05:52 > 0:05:55I wonder what your Redser would be doing if he was still alive today?
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Probably trying to get out of that fuckin' coffin.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03- Howya, Cathy?- Hiya, Winnie.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Friday night, I thought you'd be out on a date.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Hello, Mark, could I have a quick word?
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Sure, Mr Gibney.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Is there a problem with the job?
0:06:15 > 0:06:16The job is great.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20You didn't come across a watch when you were in the house, did ya?
0:06:20 > 0:06:21No. Why, are you missing one?
0:06:21 > 0:06:24It's worth a couple of thousand, it was a present from the wife.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27I'm sure I probably left it down somewhere. I'm always doing that.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30No worries, just thought I'd ask. Thanks.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32I'm telling you now, Mark.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Buster would never do that to YOU.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38That's a nice watch, Mr Foley.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Yeah, I bought if off Buster Brady.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47Cathy, you're being too hard on yourself, love.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49You're still young enough and you're a fine thing.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52It won't be long before my carer's pushing me to my dates!
0:06:52 > 0:06:54MRS BROWN LAUGHS
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Excuse me, ladies, I don't mean to interrupt.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00But I've been watching you from the bar, and I said to myself,
0:07:00 > 0:07:03"William, you just have to buy that beautiful lady a drink."
0:07:05 > 0:07:09That's really kind of you, but I'm in company here.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Sorry, dear, I wasn't speaking of you.
0:07:11 > 0:07:12I was speaking of this lady here.
0:07:17 > 0:07:18Mammy?
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Hello, you two!
0:07:24 > 0:07:25Oh, hi!
0:07:27 > 0:07:30We're just sitting here not even thinking about you.
0:07:33 > 0:07:34Why didn't you go home, Winnie?
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Well, I was going to but Cathy said to come over here
0:07:37 > 0:07:39and not even think about you.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42For God's sake, Winnie!
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- Look, Mammy, I was worried, is that a crime?- Nope.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49At least now you know how I felt throughout your teenage years.
0:07:49 > 0:07:50So...?
0:07:50 > 0:07:53If you're asking did he take me up a lane and scuttle me - no!
0:07:57 > 0:07:58Mammy!
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Did you get a feely of his yoyo?
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Winnie, for God's sake.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Cathy, the man was a perfect gentleman.
0:08:11 > 0:08:12He asked me out on a date.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Well, I hope you said no.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17- Why?- Well, he's obviously after something.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19He wants you to hang out of his yoyo!
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Winnie, go home!
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Go on, Winnie. Go home, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30- OK.- Goodnight, love.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38Mammy, seriously, you can't just meet someone in a pub
0:08:38 > 0:08:40and agree to go on a date.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44I'm still an attractive woman, Cathy, with needs.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Even a ripe banana likes to be squeezed.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53Even an old horse likes to jump.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55- Even a rusty bicycle...- Mammy!
0:08:59 > 0:09:01I know what men can be like.
0:09:01 > 0:09:02Women need a reason to have sex.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Men just need a place.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06And don't I know it, Cathy.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08This is not my first rodeo!
0:09:13 > 0:09:14What's all this stuff?
0:09:14 > 0:09:18Just old stuff I was going through, see what I could throw out.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Ah, Agnes, the old gang!
0:09:23 > 0:09:25God, I wouldn't recognise any of them now.
0:09:25 > 0:09:30Here, Agnes, you could have had your pick of any of those lads
0:09:30 > 0:09:31and you picked Redser.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Well, I didn't have me eye test till a year after that was taken.
0:09:36 > 0:09:37Ah, look! Valentine cards.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40Yes, we sent Valentines to each other for the first few years
0:09:40 > 0:09:43and then it just wore off.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45"To Agnes from Redser."
0:09:45 > 0:09:46Aw, that's lovely!
0:09:48 > 0:09:51Yeah, he used to write little poems in them.
0:09:51 > 0:09:52Here, listen to this one.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59"My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
0:09:59 > 0:10:01"Marrying you fucked up my life."
0:10:07 > 0:10:09That's the one I sent him that year.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Oh, right. Oh!
0:10:11 > 0:10:15"I see your face when I'm dreaming
0:10:15 > 0:10:18"That's probably why I wake up screaming."
0:10:20 > 0:10:23So, who says romance is dead?
0:10:23 > 0:10:24I dunno, who?
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Winnie, it's not a buckin' quiz.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32- I'm a romantic.- Are you?
0:10:32 > 0:10:35I do lie in bed at night looking up at the stars
0:10:35 > 0:10:37and do you know what I do be thinking?
0:10:37 > 0:10:39"Where's my fuckin' ceiling?"
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Winnie, I read a survey in a magazine
0:10:46 > 0:10:49and it said the first thing men notice about women is their eyes.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52And the first thing women notice about men
0:10:52 > 0:10:54is that they are a bunch of liars.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57So, you are going on this date, then?
0:10:57 > 0:11:00I said yes, but let me think...
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Yes!
0:11:02 > 0:11:06Cathy, is it killing you that I have a date and you can't get one?
0:11:06 > 0:11:09As a matter of fact, I have a blind date this weekend!
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Another blind date?
0:11:12 > 0:11:15God, you must nearly qualify for a guide dog at this stage.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Mammy, have you thought about...
0:11:25 > 0:11:27sex?
0:11:31 > 0:11:32Not for a very long time!
0:11:34 > 0:11:36I think you're biting off more than you can chew.
0:11:38 > 0:11:42I'm not going to start with that, I'll kiss him first!
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Not funny, Mammy!
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Look, Cathy, the man is a complete gentleman.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48He just wants company, that's all.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50And maybe a feely of his yoyo.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Enough, Mrs McGoogan!
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Winnie, go on, feck off!
0:11:58 > 0:12:00I'll talk to you later.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05I'm only thinking of you, Mammy.
0:12:05 > 0:12:09Cathy, him and me are too old to be having sex.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11For God's sake, at our age it would be like trying to put
0:12:11 > 0:12:13the toothpaste back in the tube!
0:12:18 > 0:12:22Mammy, I know YOU feel that way.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24I don't think he's thinking that way.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Mammy, you're a fine looking woman.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Oh, I know!
0:12:31 > 0:12:35And he looks well able for a good rumble.
0:12:35 > 0:12:36A good rumble...!
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Now, so once we've read out a few prayers
0:12:41 > 0:12:44then I believe Mark is going to say a few words about his father.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47- Mmm.- Then I'm going to do a general blessing to the household.
0:12:47 > 0:12:48Yeah.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Mrs Brown, you seem distracted?
0:12:52 > 0:12:53Is it Grandad?
0:12:53 > 0:12:57- Are you worried about his health? - No, no, if he dies, he buckin' dies.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Oh, right.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Where was I? Oh, yes!
0:13:01 > 0:13:03Once I've finished the blessing, you were going to write out
0:13:03 > 0:13:06- some things about Redser for me to say.- Here you go.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07Thank you, Father.
0:13:10 > 0:13:11HE CHUCKLES
0:13:11 > 0:13:13That's funny!
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Mrs Brown, what I say must be benevolent or at least clean!
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Fine, I'll try again.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Right, I'll drop by during the week to pick it up.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27- Bye, Dr Flynn.- Bye, Father.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29All good, Mrs Brown, I'm done here.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Dr Flynn, could I have a quick word?
0:13:31 > 0:13:34- Certainly, Mrs Brown.- Thank you.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37- What can I do for you? - Dr Flynn, I'm...
0:13:37 > 0:13:39- I'm a widow.- Yes?
0:13:39 > 0:13:42- And I have been for a long time... - Yes?
0:13:42 > 0:13:44What do you think about having sex?
0:13:46 > 0:13:51Mrs Brown, I may have been giving off the wrong signal but...
0:13:51 > 0:13:53I'm very fond of you, but there's no way I...
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Not you, you feckin' eejit!
0:13:57 > 0:13:59I'm mixed up, not hard up!
0:14:01 > 0:14:05I have a date and I'm just worried that,
0:14:05 > 0:14:07you know, he might expect a bit...
0:14:24 > 0:14:26Well, you have all the working parts.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Well, yes, I do.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33The vital ingredient is having the urge to have sex.
0:14:33 > 0:14:38And that urge can be found and enhanced through foreplay.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40A little tickle here,
0:14:40 > 0:14:43a gentle kiss there,
0:14:43 > 0:14:45a soft stroke...
0:14:49 > 0:14:52..a hot tongue...
0:14:52 > 0:14:54on the back of your...
0:15:00 > 0:15:02I have to go.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08Bless you.
0:15:08 > 0:15:09Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Father, I might have cheated at bingo.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Ah, Mrs Brown?
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Is there anything I can help you with?
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Father, I am a widow.
0:15:19 > 0:15:20Yes.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22And that's single, right?
0:15:22 > 0:15:23Well, yes.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27So if I was to have sex with a man, would it be...?
0:15:27 > 0:15:28A miracle?
0:15:33 > 0:15:36Would it be a sin?
0:15:36 > 0:15:37Oh, I see.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Well, Mrs Brown, I find questions like that
0:15:39 > 0:15:41are difficult to pass judgment on.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43For instance,
0:15:43 > 0:15:46what if I get urges?
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Oh, I see.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Well, you were in convent school, weren't you?
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Yes, Father. The Blessed Sisters of the Moving Statues.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57And do you remember what they taught you young ladies to do
0:15:57 > 0:16:00- if you get these urges? - Not really, Father.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02They teach you if you get these urges,
0:16:02 > 0:16:05you're to get on your knees and say a prayer.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Yes. I never got past the "get on your knees" bit.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14Look, Mrs Brown, the scripture tells us that the giving of oneself
0:16:14 > 0:16:17in the flesh is a good thing between a husband and a wife.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20But outside the sacrament of marriage it's forbidden.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22As is adultery.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24MRS BROWN SNORES
0:16:24 > 0:16:26Mrs Brown?
0:16:26 > 0:16:27THUDDING
0:16:27 > 0:16:28Mrs Brown!
0:16:32 > 0:16:38# All around the garden, like a teddy bear,
0:16:38 > 0:16:40# One step, two step
0:16:40 > 0:16:42# And tiddly under there. #
0:16:43 > 0:16:44You're so bold!
0:16:48 > 0:16:49You're an animal!
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Look at them!
0:16:52 > 0:16:54I don't know what Mammy thinks she's playing at.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58Hey, Mammy has a date, so what?
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Buster Brady.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Mark Brown.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08You, me, outside now!
0:17:08 > 0:17:11John Wayne, Rio Bravo. Am I right? Ha!
0:17:12 > 0:17:14- Hold it, Mark. - Don't get involved, Dermot.
0:17:14 > 0:17:19I'm already involved, Mark, he's me best mate and you're wrong!
0:17:19 > 0:17:22Now, listen, Mr Foley!
0:17:22 > 0:17:25- Yes, lads?- I see you're not wearing the watch you bought from Buster?
0:17:25 > 0:17:27No, it's broken - useless piece of crap!
0:17:30 > 0:17:32So, how's life, Cathy?
0:17:36 > 0:17:39Well, I'm not getting as much lovin' as me mother.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Well, my internet date hasn't turned up.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47# A-one step, a-two step... #
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Right, well, I'm getting a drink.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Buster, I owe you an apology.
0:17:55 > 0:17:56For what?
0:17:56 > 0:17:58An expensive watch went missing and I accused you of robbing it
0:17:58 > 0:18:00and selling it to Mr Foley.
0:18:00 > 0:18:04I suppose it'll take a while for me past to be left behind.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06- It's all right, it doesn't matter. - Yes, it does.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09- I'm sorry, all right?- Sure.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Buster, there you are!
0:18:14 > 0:18:16- Hello, Father.- I just wanted to thank you.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19I had it checked and it IS a real Rolex!
0:18:19 > 0:18:21OK, Father, keep your voice down!
0:18:23 > 0:18:26# Incy, wincy spider... #
0:18:26 > 0:18:29- Oh.- Oh!- I wonder where this little fellow is off to?
0:18:29 > 0:18:31MRS BROWN LAUGHS
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Maybe he's going to give you a little surprise?
0:18:33 > 0:18:36Maybe he is!
0:18:36 > 0:18:38But if he's going where I think he's going,
0:18:38 > 0:18:41I might have a little surprise for him!
0:18:51 > 0:18:54What a wonderful evening this is turning out to be!
0:18:55 > 0:18:56Yes...
0:19:03 > 0:19:04Mammy!
0:19:04 > 0:19:05(Fuck's sake!)
0:19:05 > 0:19:07What, Cathy?
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Can I get you something to drink?
0:19:09 > 0:19:13Excuse me a moment, William, I'm just going to powder my arse.
0:19:15 > 0:19:16What is wrong with you?
0:19:16 > 0:19:20Mammy, I'm really worried this is moving too fast.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22OK, if you're really worried, why don't you follow us home?
0:19:22 > 0:19:25You can hide in the cubby hole and if I need you I'll call you.
0:19:25 > 0:19:26Great idea. Wait a minute.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30- What?- What if you want me to go? I don't want to stand there all night!
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Good idea.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Right, well, if something happens and I'm agreeable,
0:19:35 > 0:19:38I'll give you a signal and you'll just go.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40- OK.- OK!- What's the signal?
0:19:40 > 0:19:41Ah, sh...
0:19:41 > 0:19:43It'll be, "Oh, uh-uh!"
0:19:45 > 0:19:48- Mammy!- I'm just kidding.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51No, I'll go, "Cathy, feck off!"
0:19:54 > 0:19:56- Subtle!- My middle name.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00Oh, and my safe word is, "Caw-caw! Caw-caw!"
0:20:07 > 0:20:08Come in.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Sit down anywhere.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16Ah, that's a very inviting couch.
0:20:16 > 0:20:17Caw, caw! Caw, caw!
0:20:20 > 0:20:21What about here?
0:20:23 > 0:20:24OK.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Come, Agnes, sit beside me.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47Ah, there is nothing like the scent of a real woman!
0:20:52 > 0:20:55Now, where were we when we were interruped?
0:20:55 > 0:20:56Oh...!
0:20:58 > 0:20:59Caw! Caw!
0:21:01 > 0:21:04- I'll just put the kettle on. - Oh, I don't want tea.
0:21:04 > 0:21:05I fuckin' do!
0:21:12 > 0:21:13Are you OK?
0:21:13 > 0:21:15Cathy, remind me again.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17The knickers, the thong,
0:21:17 > 0:21:20the skinny bit - does it go to the front or the back?
0:21:20 > 0:21:21The back!
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Ah, feck it! I knew it!
0:21:26 > 0:21:29I have been flossing all the way from here to Foley's!
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Mammy, just tell him to go.
0:21:33 > 0:21:34I will not!
0:21:35 > 0:21:39Look, you stand by in case I need you and I'll give the signal.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41But I think this is going OK.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Agnes, come, darling. Sit.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Oh!
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Caw-caw! Caw-caw!
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Well, I know where we were.
0:22:04 > 0:22:08I was going to SURPRISE you.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10- SNAPPING - Jeez!
0:22:24 > 0:22:28Who the hell puts a mousetrap up one's dress?
0:22:28 > 0:22:31I do! You never know when your pussy's going to be asleep.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Winnie McGoogan, what are you doing here?
0:22:35 > 0:22:37You're a Hunt.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41Winnie, that's a bit strong, it was just a grope!
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Billy, Billy Hunt.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46I knew you were familiar!
0:22:46 > 0:22:49He used to hang around with the gang from the west, Agnes.
0:22:51 > 0:22:52It is you!
0:22:53 > 0:22:56You're Billy Hunt, Redser's friend.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59That's right, Agnes, I'm little Billy Hunt.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05What do you think you are doing?
0:23:05 > 0:23:08You tried this before on me behind Redser's back.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12I refused you then and I reject you...
0:23:12 > 0:23:14now.
0:23:14 > 0:23:15Oh, come on, Agnes.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18Redser never deserved you.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20You, the walking goddess!
0:23:20 > 0:23:24You, the raven haired vision of beauty!
0:23:24 > 0:23:28You, a princess among frogs.
0:23:28 > 0:23:29How dare you!
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Winnie, let the man speak.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Go on - frogs.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39Yes, you rejected me back then, when I was little more than a boy.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41I was the laughing stock of our gang.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43But then I went to England, I worked hard,
0:23:43 > 0:23:47I built and built my life and fortune day by day
0:23:47 > 0:23:52to become the largest supplier of 500 thread count bed sheets
0:23:52 > 0:23:54to the bed and breakfast industry.
0:23:54 > 0:23:55South Coast region!
0:23:57 > 0:23:59Always thinking of you.
0:24:02 > 0:24:03Building to this moment,
0:24:03 > 0:24:08when I could return to Finglas and claim my prize.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10She's no prize!
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Will you shut the fuck up?
0:24:16 > 0:24:17What do you say, Agnes?
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Go!
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Leave the two of us alone.
0:24:23 > 0:24:24Good girl, Agnes!
0:24:24 > 0:24:27Winnie, I'm fuckin' talking to you!
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Go, get on!
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Night, then. Night, Billy.
0:24:32 > 0:24:33Billy Liar!
0:24:38 > 0:24:40- Agnes.- Don't speak!
0:24:42 > 0:24:43Cathy, feck off!
0:24:46 > 0:24:49So, you do feel the same?
0:24:51 > 0:24:54No, I don't.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56Redser Brown was not a great husband to me but...
0:24:56 > 0:24:58he was a good friend to you.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00And friends don't do that to friends.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03But I'm rich! I could make you happy.
0:25:03 > 0:25:04I'm already happy.
0:25:05 > 0:25:06Agnes?
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Oh...!
0:25:11 > 0:25:12Just go.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19I'll never let go!
0:25:23 > 0:25:25I know you're all there, listening.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41And may God's blessing be upon this house and all the family within.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Give it up for the Father!
0:25:46 > 0:25:47I'm not finished.
0:25:49 > 0:25:50Fair enough.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54In the name of the Father and the Son, etc, etc, etc.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59And now I'd like to read out some words
0:25:59 > 0:26:01that Mrs Brown asked me to read.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07I'm just reading these, I didn't write them.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11"Redser, you miserable fecker."
0:26:13 > 0:26:17- I'll take over from here, Father. - Oh, thank God!
0:26:17 > 0:26:19Look, Redser Brown was no saint.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23And I have been hard on his memory by saying things like,
0:26:23 > 0:26:25"He left me with nothing."
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Well, that's not quite true.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31He left me some special things.
0:26:32 > 0:26:36A fine eldest son who works day and night.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39A son who just wants to make the world a better place.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44Something every mother craves - a gay son.
0:26:49 > 0:26:53A daughter who still has it, even if no-one wants to see it.
0:26:56 > 0:26:57And Dermot...
0:26:59 > 0:27:02At the end of the day...
0:27:02 > 0:27:07Redser left me with the most important thing of all - family.
0:27:08 > 0:27:09And for that, I thank him.
0:27:10 > 0:27:11May he rot in hell.
0:27:13 > 0:27:14- Amen.- Amen.- Amen.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Party!
0:27:23 > 0:27:26- You OK, Mammy?- I'm fine, love.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28That was a nice memorial, wasn't it?
0:27:28 > 0:27:31You know, it's funny when the past comes back to visit.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34I bet.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36That's why I never got this Facebook thing, you know,
0:27:36 > 0:27:38somebody popping into your page and going, "Hello!
0:27:38 > 0:27:41"We haven't spoken for 30 years!"
0:27:41 > 0:27:43Well, there's a buckin' reason why!
0:27:45 > 0:27:46Are you coming back in?
0:27:46 > 0:27:49I'll be in in a minute, love. You go on ahead.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54The past, eh?
0:27:54 > 0:27:56The past doesn't matter
0:27:56 > 0:27:59and the future - who knows?
0:27:59 > 0:28:01It's the present that counts.
0:28:02 > 0:28:06The present, do you know why it's called the present?
0:28:06 > 0:28:07Because it's a gift.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12Enjoy the gift
0:28:12 > 0:28:15because tomorrow it'll be the past, and it won't matter.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19I like my life.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24I was that close to getting my hands on his yoyo!
0:28:26 > 0:28:27Goodnight!
0:28:27 > 0:28:29APPLAUSE
0:28:29 > 0:28:35# Say hello to the queen of Dublin town
0:28:35 > 0:28:41# As the best mum of all, she wears the crown
0:28:41 > 0:28:44# A mother hen watching all her chicks
0:28:44 > 0:28:48# A sassy old lady full of tricks
0:28:48 > 0:28:53# It's a safe bet she'd never let life get her down
0:28:53 > 0:28:56# She's Mrs Brown
0:28:56 > 0:28:59# That's Mrs Brown
0:28:59 > 0:29:02# Our Mrs Brown. #