0:00:00 > 0:00:05This programme contains some strong language
0:00:11 > 0:00:12Ladies and gentlemen...
0:00:12 > 0:00:15welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys!
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# She's Mrs Brown
0:00:18 > 0:00:21# That's Mrs Brown
0:00:21 > 0:00:25# Our Mrs Brown. #
0:00:25 > 0:00:27So go on...
0:00:27 > 0:00:30Jacko says to the policeman "I couldn't have been doing more
0:00:30 > 0:00:34"than 40, and, actually, after the crossing we had to slow down.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36"We were only doing about 30".
0:00:36 > 0:00:38I'd say we were only doing 20.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Jesus, hold on there, Winnie, before you feckin' reverse into somebody.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Jaysus, that beer's gone through me like the Eurostar.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48I'm going to have to go to the toilet.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02Hello!
0:01:02 > 0:01:05You just missed one of Winnie's Jacko stories.
0:01:05 > 0:01:09She has millions of them and they're all about Jacko.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12Of course, they've been married years.
0:01:12 > 0:01:16- PHONE RINGS - Hello? Cathy!
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Cathy, get that telephone!
0:01:18 > 0:01:22- Ah, Mammy, the phone is portable! - Well, I'm not buckin' portable.
0:01:22 > 0:01:23Now get the phone.
0:01:23 > 0:01:27OK, Mammy.
0:01:27 > 0:01:31You know, I've heard Winnie's stories, oh,
0:01:31 > 0:01:35a hundred times, but I listen every time like it's the first time.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37That's what friends do, isn't it?
0:01:37 > 0:01:44- Did I tell you that Jacko wants to get a dog?- No.- Yeah, a Labrador.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48Oh, Jesus don't let him get a Labrador, half the people who get them go feckin' blind!
0:01:48 > 0:01:50- Really?- Yes!
0:01:53 > 0:01:58- Winnie, it's your Sharon on the phone.- What the hell does she want?
0:01:58 > 0:02:01- You can't even go round the feckin' corner.- Mammy!
0:02:01 > 0:02:03- What?- It's Mr McGoogan.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06- Jacko?- He's collapsed. He's been taken into hospital.
0:02:06 > 0:02:11Oh, sweet little Jesus Christ, Mother Mary, Joseph and the donkey that took them all to Bethlehem!
0:02:13 > 0:02:18I've got to go to hospital, Agnes. It's Jacko's gone in with chest pains.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21Cathy told me. You're not going on your own, Winnie, I'll go with you.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Mammy, I'll go over and stay with Sharon. She's very upset.
0:02:23 > 0:02:28Winnie, you don't be worrying. These things often turn out to be worse than they look!
0:02:31 > 0:02:35Hello? Hello?
0:02:46 > 0:02:47SHE SPITS
0:02:49 > 0:02:50DOOR CLOSES
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Ah, hello. It's a little chipmunk!
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Squirrel, Mammy, squirrel!
0:03:00 > 0:03:03- So what are you promoting this week? - Chocolate bars.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05What has a hazelnut in every bite?
0:03:05 > 0:03:09Squirrel shit! What's all this, love?
0:03:09 > 0:03:12Post and more stuff you bought off the telly.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16Me Shake Weight and me bikini-wax treatment.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18And me hair teaser!
0:03:18 > 0:03:21I wish you'd stop buying that crap off the TV, Ma.
0:03:21 > 0:03:25Crap? Dermot, this is first-class merchandise.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29And not available in the shops.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30- Do you want a cup of tea, love? - Love one!
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Come on, nibble on me arse!
0:03:37 > 0:03:39- It's been a busy morning. - Well, love, you know,
0:03:39 > 0:03:42you have to gather your nuts!
0:03:43 > 0:03:46Nah, running around trying to get things done for the wedding,
0:03:46 > 0:03:48getting Buster measured for his best man's suit.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Buster?
0:03:50 > 0:03:51Buster's going to be your best man?
0:03:51 > 0:03:55- Yeah.- Buster Brady, that fecker?- Yes!
0:03:55 > 0:03:57I thought you might have picked Mark.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00I'd love to see my two sons on the altar.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03- Well, I wasn't best man at his wedding.- You were in prison, love.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07Still...I'd like Buster.
0:04:07 > 0:04:08Well, think about Mark.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Tell me this.
0:04:15 > 0:04:19Have you consulted with Maria on this 'Buster' decision?
0:04:19 > 0:04:24Nah! The bride picks the bridesmaids, the groom picks the best man. She won't mind.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27He's me best friend, Mammy.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29I'm sure you're right.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31- Morning!- Want a cup of tea, love?
0:04:31 > 0:04:34No, thanks. How's Winnie today?
0:04:34 > 0:04:37Winnie's putting on a brave face, but she's worried, I can tell.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40Jacko needs a bypass. Of his heart.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Doctors said he could be waiting a while...
0:04:44 > 0:04:46five or six weeks, maybe a month.
0:04:48 > 0:04:53If she went private she could have it tomorrow but Winnie hasn't got that kind of money.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56- That's disgraceful!- Ah, that's the way of the world, love.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59One law for the poor and one law for the rest of us.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04But who knows? Maybe me or Winnie will win the jackpot at the bingo
0:05:04 > 0:05:06and then Jacko can have his operation tomorrow.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Or you might win the lottery!
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Now don't start me off, Cathy.
0:05:11 > 0:05:16If we win the lottery, you can forget about the operation. We're gettin' two new fuckin' men.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21- I'll see you later, Mammy. - Good luck.- You should get back to work as well.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24I'm sure there's a few trees you haven't been up!
0:05:24 > 0:05:28Nah, I'm hanging on. Buster wants a chat so I told him to call up here.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Don't look at me like that. I've gone straight!
0:05:35 > 0:05:36Hello, Mrs Brown.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45You, don't keep him too long. He has a job to go to.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47- I won't.- Don't!
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Dermot, I'm going up to make your bed.
0:05:56 > 0:06:00Will you stop stuffing them dirty magazines under your mattress!
0:06:00 > 0:06:03It's nearly four-foot thick at this stage.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06I only buy them for the articles.
0:06:06 > 0:06:11I only go to the supermarket for the music! And you...
0:06:11 > 0:06:14I'm keeping an eye on you...
0:06:14 > 0:06:15the good one!
0:06:15 > 0:06:21Jaysus, why's your ma giving me such a hard time?
0:06:21 > 0:06:24She thinks you want to drag me into a scam of some sort.
0:06:24 > 0:06:25Give a dog a bad name, what?
0:06:25 > 0:06:28- So, what do ya want me for? - I've a brilliant scam, Dermot!
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Buster, are you mad? I've gone straight.
0:06:32 > 0:06:36Just take a look, Dermot. It's a doddle!
0:06:36 > 0:06:37A raffle for the boxing club?
0:06:37 > 0:06:41One euro a ticket, I put on the tickets "5,000 euro first prize".
0:06:41 > 0:06:46I tell the people that if they win, I'll call them. Then nobody wins...
0:06:46 > 0:06:48except us! It's foolproof!
0:06:48 > 0:06:54- Not bad, Buster!- Now I only got a hundred tickets printed just to try it out and Dermot...
0:06:54 > 0:06:56I sold them all in an hour!
0:06:56 > 0:06:58I made eighty euro!
0:07:01 > 0:07:05- That's only eighty tickets. - I know, yeah. Well, l I bought two books meself.
0:07:08 > 0:07:125,000 euro, Dermot, it's not to be bleedin' sneezed at!
0:07:13 > 0:07:16- But...there's no raffle. - Ah, shite, yeah!
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Tease the hair.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Tease the feckin' hair.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27Neh, neh, neh.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29How much did it cost to get the tickets printed?
0:07:29 > 0:07:3290 euro.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34So you lost ten euro!
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Ah, this is a bleedin' rip off!
0:07:37 > 0:07:39I could do a few bob with this wedding coming up.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42First of all we need to get more tickets printed.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44- More tickets!- Thousands!- Hundreds!
0:07:46 > 0:07:50Then we need to make it something they've never heard of, a club or something.
0:07:50 > 0:07:54The Dublin Home For Bewildered Greyhounds And Whippets.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56Nice one. Leave it with me. I'd better get back to work.
0:08:24 > 0:08:25Jacko's just lying there.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27He's not moving a muscle.
0:08:27 > 0:08:32It's a heart attack. He's hardly going to doing the buckin' samba!
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Jesus, Winnie, he's not dead yet!
0:08:35 > 0:08:37You have to take a more positive outlook on this.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41Start to look for the most positive outcome.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44- Yeah.- Jacko's a fighter. He'll be fine.- How's Jacko?
0:08:44 > 0:08:46- He's fucked.- What?
0:08:46 > 0:08:48I'm only joking, Winnie.
0:08:48 > 0:08:49MOUTHS
0:08:51 > 0:08:54- Maria!- Hiya.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Hello, love. What has you here?
0:08:56 > 0:08:58I looked in on Jacko before I left the hospital.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01He's sitting up and he's starting to get colour back in his face.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03- He looked good.- Ah, they always get a lift just before the end.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Mammy!
0:09:06 > 0:09:08I'm just trying to lighten the mood.
0:09:11 > 0:09:16Sorry, are we keeping you? Have you to go and meet your invisible boyfriend?
0:09:16 > 0:09:18- I'd like to meet him.- We all would.
0:09:18 > 0:09:23I'll never forget the night I met your father, and don't think I haven't fucking tried.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29- That was at a party. - Sadie Brady's birthday.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32- Right, Winnie. Oh, now Sadie Brady...- BOTH: Slapper.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37It didn't take long for her private parts to go public.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41Her knickers were busier than the escalator in Marks & Spencer's.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Up, down, up, down.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46God, we arrived that night dressed to the nines.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49We looked fantastic. Well, I did.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54We knocked at a door, we went in. I never forget. What was it like?
0:09:54 > 0:09:57The place was hopping, smoke everywhere, flashing lights.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00We were there three minutes before we realised it was on fecking fire.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08I looked across the room and there he was.
0:10:08 > 0:10:12Your father, Redser Brown. He was standing in a corner on his own.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15- He was shy?- No, he was getting sick.
0:10:15 > 0:10:19He arrived at the party drunk and somebody said, "What will you have to drink?"
0:10:19 > 0:10:22He said, "Give me a pint of anything."
0:10:22 > 0:10:24They gave him bucking Windolene.
0:10:24 > 0:10:29- What?- Do you know, there was a sparkle off his shite for two weeks after that.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35And it didn't smear!
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Oh, God.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44I took him home that night. Oh, yes, I brought him home.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47It was lovely. His head was just here on my shoulder.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49And I carried his legs.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55- Listen, never mind me. You married well.- I did.- She did.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59- You should see the penis on her Jacko.- Agnes Brown!
0:10:59 > 0:11:02We used to go skinny dipping on Portmarnock beach.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05We all lying there and Jacko would come walking along the beach,
0:11:05 > 0:11:07dragging a big groove in the sand behind him.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13Running into the water with his surf board under his arm and his penis under the other arm.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19- It was love at first sight.- Ah.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22What about your husband, Mrs Brown?
0:11:22 > 0:11:25- What do you mean, Betty?- Well, when did you realise you loved him?
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Oh, Jesus. Love?
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Five or six months after he died.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36Your father was best man at our wedding.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38- Really?- Yeah. - And Jacko was our best man.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41And that's the way it was.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Just like Dermot and Buster.
0:11:43 > 0:11:44I'm sorry?
0:11:44 > 0:11:49Dermot, he's having Buster as his best man, apparently.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06Buster, I'm telling you, if the dog sees you playing with her ball she'll go mad.
0:12:09 > 0:12:126,235 euro.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Well, at least that's the prize money covered.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Buster there is NO raffle.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24You bought more tickets, didn't you?
0:12:26 > 0:12:28What do yeah take me for?
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Yeah, two books.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32I'll give you your money back.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36No. It's all right. I'll take my chances.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38BELL RINGS
0:12:38 > 0:12:41That's my boyfriend, Dermot. Would you let him in?
0:12:45 > 0:12:47- Hiya.- He's here.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50OK. I'll be down in a minute.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52All right?
0:13:00 > 0:13:02So you're the boyfriend?
0:13:02 > 0:13:04I am, yeah.
0:13:04 > 0:13:08I can put this whole ball in me mouth. Watch.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Shut up, Buster.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Howyeh? I'm Cathy's brother, Dermot.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14- Oh, hello, Dermot.- What's the name?
0:13:14 > 0:13:16- My name is Michael.- Michael.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18But the lads at the station call me Mick.
0:13:22 > 0:13:26- Station? Are you a fireman? - I'm a detective.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33I'm off, Cathy.
0:13:33 > 0:13:34What was that all about?
0:13:34 > 0:13:37I have absolutely no idea.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40- Oh!- You look great.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Thanks.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45- Hello!- We were just going.
0:13:45 > 0:13:49Well, hold your buckin' horses now.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52So, this is Slick Mick the Dick?
0:13:53 > 0:13:55This is Mick.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58- This is me soon-to-be sister-in-law, Maria.- Hi.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01- Hello.- And this is Mammy. - Very nice to meet you.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03Oh, don't try your fancy talk on me, son.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Do you know that multiple births run in our family?
0:14:08 > 0:14:10Yes, I had twins and my sister had twins.
0:14:10 > 0:14:15- Right, Mick, come on.- We used to call her Machine Gun Fanny. - Just go, Mick.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17I'm only telling you that for your own sake, love,
0:14:17 > 0:14:21in case you're thinking of getting your leg over her.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23You'll be up to your neck in kids.
0:14:25 > 0:14:26He seems like a nice chap.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Tea, Maria? Tia Maria!
0:14:35 > 0:14:39So, Maria, how are you feeling with the wedding so close?
0:14:39 > 0:14:44- Actually, I'm a bit nervous. - I was too. Nervous of the unknown.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Ha-ha!
0:14:46 > 0:14:52But I can give you a heads-up. About a week after the honeymoon, he'll start looking for S-E-K-S.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57- A week? - Yes, a week. They rush at it.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Don't fall into the trap.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02It starts the whole thing and then he wants to play games.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06Charge of the Light Brigade was the one I hated.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10He'd start one side of the room, naked, and I'd stand the other and he'd go, "Charge!"
0:15:13 > 0:15:15I missed him one night. He went out the feckin' window!
0:15:20 > 0:15:23If you'd have seen my face stuck on that door knob.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30What you need to do is you need to know the signals.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- Signals?- Signals. My favourite position in bed was back-to-back.
0:15:35 > 0:15:39The signal for that is poke, poke. Poke, poke, poke. Poke, boy.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42It's like having Ken Doherty behind you with no chalk on his cue.
0:15:42 > 0:15:43Mrs Brown, really, you don't have to.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46No, you need to know this, love. The other signal is not bad.
0:15:46 > 0:15:50It's when he starts brushing his teeth and gargling in the bathroom.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53He's preparing himself. Ha-ha!
0:15:53 > 0:15:57- I only have to hear... - GARGLES
0:15:57 > 0:16:02- ..and my nip... - No, really, I understand.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Oh, OK. Hello, love.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Hiya.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Would you like a cup of tea, love?
0:16:13 > 0:16:17Er, I don't know, Ma.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Are you going to hang on?
0:16:19 > 0:16:23So, Dermot, have you decided who your best man is going to be yet?
0:16:23 > 0:16:25- Cocoa, cocoa?- Yet?
0:16:25 > 0:16:29There was never any doubt about who would be best man - my best friend.
0:16:29 > 0:16:30- Buster Brady?- Is right.
0:16:32 > 0:16:36Buster Brady is not going to be best man at my wedding.
0:16:36 > 0:16:37Horlicks will calm everybody down.
0:16:37 > 0:16:42Well, that's funny, because he is going to be best man at mine, so I must be marrying someone else.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45Do, then.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47I can do it in a take-away cup.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Maria! DOOR SLAMS
0:16:49 > 0:16:55- As Forrest Gump's mother would say, there's an awful smell of shrimp off that.- What?
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Her in the film Brokeback Mountain.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00- Never mind.- Run, Forrest, run.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05I love Tom Selleck.
0:17:10 > 0:17:14Seven-letter word meaning constipation.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17Starting in N and ending in N.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21Ah! Nnnnnnn.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Hello, Winnie.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31- How are you, pet? - What brings you over?
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Just sitting over there on my own, worrying.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39When you're sitting on your own there's two things you don't want, and one is worry.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41The other is feckin' Panorama.
0:17:45 > 0:17:49Anyway, maybe one of us will win the jackpot at the bingo then Jacko can have his operation in the morning.
0:17:49 > 0:17:53- Or the raffle.- What fuckin' raffle?
0:17:53 > 0:17:56The Dublin Home For Bewildered Greyhounds And Whippets.
0:17:56 > 0:18:005,000 euro first prize, Agnes.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02I bought ten books.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04Winnie, you feckin' eejit.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Half them things are a scam.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09I had a fella here at Christmas knocked at the door.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Would I buy a ticket for a raffle for orphans?
0:18:11 > 0:18:14With my luck I'd fuckin' win one.
0:18:17 > 0:18:21What you need is something to take your mind off the whole hospital thing.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23And I have just the feckin' thing.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26- What?- Come on. Wait till you see this.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30You can help me with my bikini wax thing.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35You'd better do that upstairs in the bathroom.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37No, no, Cathy is going to have a bath. No, we'll do it here.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Agnes, you can't do it here.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Someone might walk in on you.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45You're right. I'd look feckin' stupid.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49- I've an idea.- What?- We'll do it in the cupboard.- Feck off, Agnes.
0:18:49 > 0:18:53Come on, Winnie, get into the cupboard. For God's sake.
0:18:53 > 0:18:54It's only for the craic.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02It's dark in here.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05- Jesus, Winnie!- What? - I've no feeling in me left leg.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07That's MY leg, Agnes!
0:19:09 > 0:19:11This is feckin' ridiculous.
0:19:11 > 0:19:12Hold on, I've an idea.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15You take the instructions and go out and read them out to me.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19- Oh, that's better.- In the light. OK, love?- Are you ready, pet?
0:19:19 > 0:19:20I'm ready whenever you are.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24"Expose the relevant area."
0:19:24 > 0:19:26What the feck does that mean?
0:19:26 > 0:19:28Get your knickers down.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Ha-ha! No sooner said than done.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37OK, go ahead, Winnie.
0:19:37 > 0:19:42"Open the container and spread the cold wax using the spatula."
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Oh, the smell!
0:19:47 > 0:19:51- Is the cold wax smelly? - I can't get the feckin' thing open.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57Hold on, I have it.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59I have it. All right.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02Jesus, it's freezing.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04OK, Winnie, I'm spread.
0:20:06 > 0:20:12"Remove the backing from the sticky tape and apply it firmly to the area."
0:20:12 > 0:20:15SHE REMOVES THE BACKING
0:20:15 > 0:20:19Jesus, now I'm trying to go around feckin' corners here.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23Argh, it's stuck to me arse!
0:20:23 > 0:20:27- Are you all right, Agnes? - Hold on, hold on.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29OK, I have it. OK, now what?
0:20:29 > 0:20:34Now wait for three minutes and pull the tape off briskly.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37That means fast. Yank it off.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Winnie, I can't see me feckin' watch.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42- Well, count to 180.- OK.
0:20:42 > 0:20:47- (QUICKLY)- One, two, three, four, five, six, seven... - PHONE RINGS
0:20:47 > 0:20:50Hello, Mrs McGoogan.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Dermot's not here, pet. Come back later, love.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55I'm just leaving this here for him. He told me to put it in the cupboard.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57No, no! Put it in the kitchen, pet.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Go on, put it in the kitchen.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04- It's Buster.- Close the door. You're blowing the arse off me!
0:21:07 > 0:21:09- Hiya, Winnie. Who was that at the door?- It was me.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Are you delighted to see me?
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Oh, piss off, Buster.
0:21:14 > 0:21:18- Winnie, where's Mammy? - She's not here, love.- 73, 74, 75...
0:21:18 > 0:21:20She is. She's in there.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24- No, she's not. - 120...- She was, but she not.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27- 154...155...- That sounds like her voice.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29It's not. Shut up, you.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Winnie, where is she?
0:21:31 > 0:21:36178, 179, 180.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38RIPPING
0:21:39 > 0:21:43SCREAMING
0:22:25 > 0:22:29Are you all right, Mammy?
0:22:31 > 0:22:34No. I feel like there's a hedgehog living in my knickers.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48Hello, Winnie. Go on in. I'll follow you in.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Little bastards.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11- What's all this about? - PHONE RINGS
0:23:11 > 0:23:13You're about to see.
0:23:19 > 0:23:23- Maria, thanks for coming over. - What's going on?- That's exactly what I was saying.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26- What's wrong? Is Jacko all right? - Oh, Winnie, shut up.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Not every bit of drama in this series is about Jacko.
0:23:29 > 0:23:30Sorry.
0:23:30 > 0:23:34Maria, I want nothing more than to make you happy.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37I've asked Mark to be my best man
0:23:37 > 0:23:40- and he's agreed to do it.- Yep.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42- I'm proud to do it. - He'll be great at it as well.
0:23:42 > 0:23:46I've spoken to Buster and he has no problem with it.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Well, what I said...
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Oh, Dermot, that's fantastic.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53No, no, hold on a minute.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57No, it's not fantastic. Now just hold on there.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Maria, I know you don't have the highest opinion of this little shit.
0:24:03 > 0:24:07When you told your family that you were marrying my son, what was it your cousin Bethany said?
0:24:07 > 0:24:09She said,
0:24:09 > 0:24:11"You're not marrying that scumbag, are you?"
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Exactly.
0:24:13 > 0:24:18And tell me, Maria, on the day of the wedding what will that cat-faced little bitch be doing?
0:24:18 > 0:24:20She's my bridesmaid.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22- But she's my only cousin.- Fine.
0:24:22 > 0:24:23That's your choice, that makes it fine.
0:24:23 > 0:24:28Well, Dermot and Buster have been best friends since their arses were the size of shirt buttons.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34Best friends, Maria. That has to count for something.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38If you're lucky, you'll marry your best friend, just like Winnie did,
0:24:38 > 0:24:41and that's more important than all the lovey-dovey stuff. So here's the deal.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44If you've any sense of loyalty about you at all,
0:24:44 > 0:24:50you'll simply ask Dermot who he'd like to have by his side
0:24:50 > 0:24:53to witness the most important decision of his life.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00Your mother's right, Dermot. I'm sorry.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Who would you like as your best man?
0:25:05 > 0:25:06Mark...
0:25:06 > 0:25:08I'm sorry.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Buster...
0:25:17 > 0:25:19..will you be my best man?
0:25:19 > 0:25:21I do.
0:25:24 > 0:25:29If you even dream about it, you'll wake up and apologise!
0:25:29 > 0:25:35- Well, that's that, then. - No, that's not that then. There's more thats to that now.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Winnie McGoogan, my dearest friend.
0:25:38 > 0:25:42- Winnie, we've been together through thick and thin.- We have.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44I was always thin.
0:25:46 > 0:25:51Winnie, when my Redser lost his job and we had no money, you were there by my side.
0:25:51 > 0:25:55- I was.- And when Redser went in to have his left leg removed,
0:25:55 > 0:25:57- you were there by my side.- True.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00And when they took away his right leg,
0:26:00 > 0:26:02you were there right beside me.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04- Yes.- And the night Redser died,
0:26:04 > 0:26:08- where were you? Tell them. - By your side, Agnes.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10By my side.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Winnie, you're a fuckin' jinx.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22But you're my best friend.
0:26:22 > 0:26:26Now, tell me, Winnie, if Jacko had his operation in the morning, how much would it cost?
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Jesus, Agnes, it's a lot more than I could afford.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Well, this could be your lucky day.
0:26:31 > 0:26:35- Why?- Dermot's found out the result of the raffle.- (Oh, Jesus.)
0:26:35 > 0:26:37I have?
0:26:37 > 0:26:40Yes, you have, Mr Dublin Greyhound and WHIPPETS!
0:26:42 > 0:26:45So come on, son, announce the result.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48- Oh, yeah, the raffle.- Yes, the in-the-kitchen-in-the-red-box raffle.
0:26:48 > 0:26:52- The result is...- Hang on a minute. Let me get my tickets out.
0:27:01 > 0:27:02Fire away, Dermot.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05The winner of the 5,000 euro...
0:27:05 > 0:27:08- And the 1,000 euro bonus.- What!
0:27:11 > 0:27:15..and the 1,000 euro bonus is Winnie McGoogan.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20You see, Winnie, I told you.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22- Everything works out just the way it was supposed to.- Yes.
0:27:22 > 0:27:27- You can buy us all a drink.- I will. - Let's all get down to Foleys and get this feckin' party started.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29- # When I wake up - When I wake up
0:27:29 > 0:27:31# I know I'm going to be
0:27:31 > 0:27:34# I'm going to be the man who wakes up next to you
0:27:34 > 0:27:36# And when I go out
0:27:36 > 0:27:41- # I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be... #- I'll follow yous down.
0:27:41 > 0:27:42Go on.
0:27:50 > 0:27:51Agnes.
0:27:55 > 0:27:57Jesus Christ, Winnie.
0:27:57 > 0:28:03- You know you were saying about us two marrying our best friends?- Yes?
0:28:03 > 0:28:06Well, I didn't marry my best friend.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09I moved in beside her.
0:28:15 > 0:28:16I wonder who that fecking was.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22Goodnight, friends.
0:28:24 > 0:28:30# Say hello to the queen of Dublin town
0:28:30 > 0:28:36# As the best mum of all She wears the crown
0:28:36 > 0:28:39# Mother hen watching all her chicks
0:28:39 > 0:28:42# A sassy old lady full of tricks
0:28:42 > 0:28:48# It's a safe bet She'd never let life get her down
0:28:48 > 0:28:51# She's Mrs Brown
0:28:51 > 0:28:54# That's Mrs Brown
0:28:54 > 0:28:56# Our Mrs Brown. #
0:28:56 > 0:28:58Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:58 > 0:29:01E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk