0:00:02 > 0:00:10This programme contains some strong language
0:00:11 > 0:00:15'Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys!'
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# She's Mrs Brown
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# That's Mrs Brown
0:00:20 > 0:00:24# Our Mrs Brown. #
0:00:26 > 0:00:28KNOCK AT DOOR Door!
0:00:29 > 0:00:31KNOCKING CONTINUES
0:00:31 > 0:00:32Door!
0:00:34 > 0:00:35KNOCKING PERSISTS
0:00:35 > 0:00:37The door!
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Is that where it is, Grandad?
0:00:39 > 0:00:43Thanks very much! Me very own feckin' sat-nav!
0:00:44 > 0:00:46KNOCK AT DOOR
0:00:46 > 0:00:48You better be a buckin' woodpecker!
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Oh. Thank you.
0:00:52 > 0:00:56Ah, that's nice. Someone's getting flowers.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59- Are they for me?- No, Grandad. It's a bouquet, not a wreath!
0:01:03 > 0:01:08"To the most beautiful woman in the world." They're for me!
0:01:08 > 0:01:12"To my wife, just because I love you." Aw!
0:01:12 > 0:01:14That'll brighten Maria's day.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17It's nice to see Dermot doing things like that.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21Especially so close to the birth of the twins. Just weeks to go.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24- Morning.- Look!- Flowers!
0:01:24 > 0:01:27- Yes, for you! - They're beautiful. But why?
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Just because. That's romance, Maria.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32And that's the Brown way.
0:01:32 > 0:01:38- I haven't got time to put them in a vase.- I'll look after them.- Thanks, Mrs Brown. Ah, they're so lovely!
0:01:40 > 0:01:45Dermot. His father wasn't like that. You must be joking.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49The only time I saw Redser in the same room as flowers was his funeral!
0:01:50 > 0:01:54No, Dermot's a romantic. He gets that from me.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58It's that time of year and love is in the air.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00- I hate you!- I hate you!
0:02:00 > 0:02:05- You can sit down!- I don't want to sit down!- Suit yourself! - Don't you worry. I will!
0:02:05 > 0:02:08- Like you always do... - I've had a good teacher!
0:02:13 > 0:02:16That one's mine. And that one. And I think this is mine.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19You can think again. That's buckin' mine.
0:02:19 > 0:02:26- There should be another one with this. It's a double album. Where is it?- I ate it!- Ooh-hoo-hoo!
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Bastard!
0:02:30 > 0:02:33Are you two fighting?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Mammy, did you hear that?!
0:02:35 > 0:02:39I know. Come here. Ssh, now, now. I know.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43Me, a bastard!
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Technically you're not!
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Technically?! Oh!
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Rory!
0:02:51 > 0:02:52Granny!
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Bono!
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Oh, me little man, let me look at you.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00- Ooh, now, what's all this? - I'm a Indian, Granny!
0:03:00 > 0:03:05An Indian! Here, little Indian, go in and play with your grandad. I'll be in to you in a minute.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Thanks for keeping an eye on him. I won't be long at the dentist.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11No problem. I love having him around. He brightens up the place.
0:03:11 > 0:03:15And you're going to be longer at the dentist than you think with those buck teeth!
0:03:17 > 0:03:19- Hello, Ma.- Hello, son!
0:03:19 > 0:03:22- Oh, what beautiful flowers. - Flowers?- Who got them?
0:03:22 > 0:03:25- Maria. They came this morning. - Actually...- Maria was delighted!
0:03:25 > 0:03:27- Was she?- Yes.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30- Is it an anniversary or something? - No. Just because.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33- Och, that's so romantic.- Isn't it?
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Yeah. Very romantic.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40I wish you'd do something like that for me. You're not romantic at all.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42He used to be... before he married you!
0:03:44 > 0:03:46- Ma! - I'm just saying, you know.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48You get married, you forget things, you get so busy.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51He forgets to get flowers, she forgets to work out.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Saggy arse, pimples popping out, teeth going bad,
0:03:54 > 0:03:57wrinkles popping up everywhere, you know...
0:03:57 > 0:04:02Now, now, don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure Mr Brown loved you anyway!
0:04:02 > 0:04:05- Right, we'd better go. - Won't be long.
0:04:06 > 0:04:07Take your feckin' time!
0:04:09 > 0:04:11I haven't got feckin' wrinkles.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15Ha-ha-ha, Bono!
0:04:15 > 0:04:17What are you doing?
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Now, Bono, if you're going to do that to Grandad,
0:04:24 > 0:04:27take the rubber tip off.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33- Is he your grandad?- No, he's not my grandad, he's my husband's daddy.
0:04:33 > 0:04:34But I call him Grandad.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Among other things...
0:04:37 > 0:04:40And I'm your daddy's mammy, so you call me...
0:04:40 > 0:04:44- Granny!- That's right. And Daddy calls me...
0:04:44 > 0:04:46- Mammy!- Yes! And your mammy calls me...
0:04:46 > 0:04:49- An auld cow.- An auld co...
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Does she, now?
0:05:00 > 0:05:02SHE LAUGHS
0:05:02 > 0:05:04"Pyschic wanted.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06"You know where to apply."
0:05:10 > 0:05:13I'm ordering meself a pizza, Mammy. Will I order you something?
0:05:13 > 0:05:16- Give me the menu.- It's in Italian. Will I just pick something for ya?
0:05:16 > 0:05:21I'm well capable of ordering for myself in any feckin' language!
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Hello? I'd like to order a delivery, please.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31- Mammy?- I'm only after getting it! Give me a feckin' second!
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Yes, 92 James Larkin Court.
0:05:35 > 0:05:41Brown. Er, a medium thin-crust Hawaiian, please. Yeah, and, erm...
0:05:41 > 0:05:43I'll have the pageone!
0:05:43 > 0:05:46And a lasagne, please.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Thanks.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Excuse me. I said a pageone!
0:05:52 > 0:05:54That's "page one".
0:06:02 > 0:06:03Howya, Cathy.
0:06:03 > 0:06:07You still having that dream where I'm covered in oil and you're sliding up and down me?
0:06:09 > 0:06:12- I've never had a dream about you. - Ah! That was my dream.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16- Is Dermot here?- No.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20I'll call later. If you see him, will you say I got that thing organised?
0:06:20 > 0:06:22- What thing?- I have a friend...
0:06:22 > 0:06:24We don't need to know. Good night, Buster!
0:06:24 > 0:06:26I'll see yous.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28SHE SIGHS
0:06:28 > 0:06:32- What's up?- I wish Rory and Dino would stop fighting so much.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35I don't think they understand how much it upsets other people.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39- You could learn a lesson from that yourself.- I beg your pardon?
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Sorry, will you give that to your son?
0:06:43 > 0:06:46- I love you, Cathy.- Piss off!
0:06:49 > 0:06:52What do you mean, I could learn a lesson?
0:06:52 > 0:06:56I don't think you realise how much you not getting on with Mrs Nicholson upsets Maria.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02- Here, what's in the envelope? - Two tickets for a weekend in Venice.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06- God! Dermot's gone romance mad! - Hasn't he?
0:07:06 > 0:07:10Here, I've to pick me dress up from the cleaners.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13Hiya, Rory. You feeling any better?
0:07:16 > 0:07:18HE SIGHS
0:07:18 > 0:07:23- I got to go. Mammy, when the pizza comes, just put it in the oven. I won't be long.- All right.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Dermot's taking Maria off to Venice for the weekend.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Going to be going up and down in their gonorrhoea.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42I think you mean "gorgonzola".
0:07:43 > 0:07:46You're right. Gorgonzola.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52It's in the gorgonzola. It's the gonorrhoea that rows it.
0:08:05 > 0:08:06Rory, why are you so sad?
0:08:22 > 0:08:26Rory, I wish there was something I could do to make things better.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28There's nothing. It's over!
0:08:29 > 0:08:32I know - I could beat him up!
0:08:32 > 0:08:35- What?! No!- I'm only joking.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38But you didn't want anything to happen to him all the same, did you?
0:08:38 > 0:08:41See. You care. It's not over.
0:08:41 > 0:08:42KNOCK AT DOOR
0:08:42 > 0:08:44It's open!
0:08:45 > 0:08:48- Hey, Mrs Brown. - Hello, Barbara. Sit down.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52- How are you, Rory? I just dropped over to see how you are.- Not there...
0:08:55 > 0:08:58He's not great, Barbara. He's not great at all.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02- I don't blame you. That Dino is a bitchy diva at times.- Wha'?
0:09:02 > 0:09:05- DOORBELL RINGS - There's the Italian food.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07I don't know how I haven't killed him before.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11He treats me like dirt sometimes. Shouts at me like I'm a trainee.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Well...you are a trainee!
0:09:15 > 0:09:18- Hello, Dino!- Hello, Mrs Brown.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20I just called round to see if I left my white jacket here.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Here, son.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Dino...how are you?
0:09:26 > 0:09:30- How am- I?- How am- I?
0:09:30 > 0:09:34I haven't slept for two days. I've a blinding headache, bags under my eyes
0:09:34 > 0:09:37and last night I just curled up in the corner and I cried like a baby.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41I'm sorry I fuckin' asked now!
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Dino...
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Look, son, I know I didn't take to you at first.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52And I don't pretend to know too much about Los Homos...
0:09:54 > 0:09:56But I love my son.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59And all I ever wanted was for Rory to be happy.
0:09:59 > 0:10:04And I have to say, I've never seen Rory as happy as he is when he's with you.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07HE MOUTHS
0:10:08 > 0:10:10SHE MOUTHS
0:10:12 > 0:10:13Dino...
0:10:13 > 0:10:15why don't you come in, son?
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Rory's in the kitchen.
0:10:19 > 0:10:24He says he cares for you but anyone'll tell you he's always talking about you behind your back.
0:10:24 > 0:10:29And who would HE be, Barbara? The cat's mother?
0:10:29 > 0:10:30Hey, Dino!
0:10:30 > 0:10:35I was just saying that the boss doesn't realise how good Rory... Yous both are, wasn't I Rory?
0:10:35 > 0:10:39No, you weren't! You were back-biting about the man I love!
0:10:39 > 0:10:41- I better go, so.- Yes, you better.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44Be in early in the morning, Barbara.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47I've a new sweeping brush for you to try out.
0:10:49 > 0:10:53- Were you defending my honour? - Bit late for that.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56- Oh, Rory!- Ah, Dino!
0:10:56 > 0:10:58Oh, Jaysus!
0:11:01 > 0:11:05Let's start again. A new beginning. We'll go on a date!
0:11:05 > 0:11:06DOORBELL RINGS
0:11:06 > 0:11:09There's that feckin' Italian food now!
0:11:09 > 0:11:14I've a friend. He owns an indoor horse-riding school. I'll pick you up Thursday, seven o'clock.
0:11:14 > 0:11:18- But I was never on a horse before. - Ach! Neither have I! It'll be an adventure!
0:11:21 > 0:11:24- He seemed happy. - We're going on a date!
0:11:29 > 0:11:34- See how relieved you are now they're not fighting?- Yes.- Wouldn't it be nice if Maria could feel that way?
0:11:36 > 0:11:39- Ring Mrs Nicholson. - I don't think so.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42I've dialled the number. Speak to her!
0:11:47 > 0:11:48Hello, Hidley?
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Yes, how do do do?
0:11:52 > 0:11:53It's Agnes.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Agnes Brown.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58How many fuckin' Agneses do you know?
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Mammy!
0:12:01 > 0:12:02Sorry.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06No. Look, Hillary, I was just thinking.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09You know, we're going to have twins in the family.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13You're going to be one granny, I'm going to be their real granny...
0:12:15 > 0:12:18I just thought, you know... I'd like to take you to dinner.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22No, no, not here.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24I'll take you out.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26We'll go somewhere nice.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32We come here all the time.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34That's nice.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44- Would you like some ketchup? - No, thank you.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Here. Put them in your bag, say nothing.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53- You'll have a drink, will you? - I have a sherry.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56No, you'd have a DRINK, though. Mr Foley, two pints of cider, please!
0:12:56 > 0:13:00You're very lucky to have your husband at home, Mrs Nicholson.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03- Yes, I suppose. - Mine's in hospital most of the time.
0:13:03 > 0:13:07- Oh, I'm so sorry.- Thanks, Mr Foley.
0:13:07 > 0:13:08Do you be gettin' it regular, now?
0:13:10 > 0:13:11Winnie!
0:13:13 > 0:13:15That's not the kind of question you ask.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25- Getting what? - The bonky-bonky thing!
0:13:27 > 0:13:31- Where can one powder one's nose? - On one's face.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37Oh, the toilet? It's back there.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42- BOTH: She's not getting it. - No, she's not.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46- So, how's Sharon? - She's taking cookery lessons now.
0:13:46 > 0:13:51That's no harm. Do you remember she tried to make French toast and caught her tongue in the toaster?
0:13:56 > 0:14:01- She made a carrot cake last night. - A carrot cake? How did it turn out?
0:14:01 > 0:14:03She didn't grate the carrots.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09- What she feckin' needs is a man! - You're right, Agnes.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Especially her being a virgin.
0:14:15 > 0:14:16Yeah!
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Amazing time, losing your virginity.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24Oh, it is! I remember it, I remember mine. Oh, now!
0:14:24 > 0:14:29I was sitting there, me mother and father downstairs looking across from me.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33I gave him a nudge, I said, "Shall we sneak upstairs?" So we sneaked upstairs.
0:14:33 > 0:14:34Well, we... Hrrrr!
0:14:35 > 0:14:38Oh, it was such fun, and when we finished
0:14:38 > 0:14:40everybody on the bus just clapped!
0:14:47 > 0:14:51- I remember mine.- Oh?
0:14:51 > 0:14:54Pictures first, then home for a quiet drink.
0:14:54 > 0:14:59I'd left the electric blanket on so the bed was nice and cosy.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03And afterwards, just lay there, smoking me cigarette.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07- God, I was in heaven!- I can imagine.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09I only wish Jacko had been there!
0:15:16 > 0:15:20We were just talking - how did you meet Jonathan?
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Well, I met him in France.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26- Ooooh! Winnie went out with a French man once, didn't you?- I did.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Really? What was his name?
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Creme de Monty!
0:15:32 > 0:15:34That's a liquor!
0:15:34 > 0:15:36BOTH: Do you know him?!
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Dermot sent Maria flowers.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46- Where is she?- What?
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Maria. Where did he send the flowers to?
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Our house, home.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53But they both live there - why didn't he bring them home and save a few bob?
0:15:53 > 0:15:55You're missing the point, Winnie.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57It's a surprise, the romance of it all.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Ah, right.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02Dermot's father wasn't like that at all.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Ah, now, Agnes, he did give you that surprise party!
0:16:05 > 0:16:07That was his funeral!
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Mr Foley! Another pint of cider for the Queen of Sheba!
0:16:23 > 0:16:27Howya, Maria. Is Dermot here?
0:16:27 > 0:16:29No, he's still in work - the shop's open till ten.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32- I'll call back later and see him.- Do you have to?
0:16:32 > 0:16:35- Do you have to call at all?- What?
0:16:35 > 0:16:38Every time Dermot tries to go straight you turn up,
0:16:38 > 0:16:40and he's back being the master burglar.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Oh, thanks very much, it's no bother!
0:16:42 > 0:16:45It's not a compliment.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Just leave us alone.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51- Just go away and leave us alone! - SHE GROANS
0:16:51 > 0:16:54OK.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56- AUDIENCE:- Awww.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58Will you give that to Dermot?
0:16:58 > 0:16:59What is it?
0:16:59 > 0:17:01I knew yous two were looking for a place
0:17:01 > 0:17:04and a friend of mine just moved out of an apartment.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06The rent's cheap.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08That's the keys.
0:17:08 > 0:17:09Buster...
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Buster, look, I'm sorry.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15Don't mind me. My hormones are all over the place.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Do you want me to help you look for them?
0:17:25 > 0:17:27- Howya, Dermot!- Howya, Buster!
0:17:27 > 0:17:28Uuurgh!
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Are you all right, love?
0:17:30 > 0:17:31She can't find her harmonica.
0:17:34 > 0:17:35I think the babies are coming.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38- Jaysus!- Jaysus!
0:17:38 > 0:17:40- Get the suitcase!- The suitcase!
0:17:40 > 0:17:42- Call the ambulance!- The ambulance!
0:17:42 > 0:17:45Breathe, in and out, in and out!
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Feel any better?
0:17:47 > 0:17:49Bit dizzy, Dermot.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Not you!
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Yes, it's easing.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55- Good!- Dermot, you look very pale.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57I'm grand.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Aaaargh!
0:17:59 > 0:18:00Oooooh...
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Eh...
0:18:05 > 0:18:07It has two bedrooms and there's a lift that goes...
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Buster, go and get help!
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Get help, get help...
0:18:11 > 0:18:13HELP! HELP!
0:18:13 > 0:18:17- Buster, will you get someone?! - Get someone. Get someone...
0:18:17 > 0:18:19- JUST GO!- I'm going!
0:18:19 > 0:18:22ALL: Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go...
0:18:26 > 0:18:28ALL: Yes!
0:18:30 > 0:18:32The winner!
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Free drink for everyone!
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Mrs Brown, you have to go home.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40- I'm having a good time, leave me alone.- No, you have to come now.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42Buster, I don't remember marrying you, now piss off!
0:18:42 > 0:18:44- They're coming!- Who's coming?
0:18:44 > 0:18:47- The babies, they're coming!- Winnie!
0:18:47 > 0:18:48It's Maria's time!
0:18:48 > 0:18:50- Where's Dermot?- He's at your house.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53I think he's dead!
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Winnie, come on, let's go. You, get Hillary.
0:19:01 > 0:19:02Where was I?
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Breathe, in and out...
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Aaaargh!
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Oooh...
0:19:09 > 0:19:12Maria, how far apart are the pains?
0:19:12 > 0:19:16- Oh, not too far, a few minutes. - Where's Dermot?
0:19:16 > 0:19:18He's on the floor - he's not able for this!
0:19:18 > 0:19:21- Winnie, we'd better get things started.- Right, Agnes,
0:19:21 > 0:19:24I'll get hot water, whisky, a lamp and newspapers.
0:19:24 > 0:19:25Winnie!
0:19:25 > 0:19:28I'm not feckin' John Wayne!
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Just call an ambulance!
0:19:31 > 0:19:33Mammy, thank God you're here!
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Just relax.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Son, look after your wife.
0:19:37 > 0:19:38Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh...
0:19:42 > 0:19:46- Mother, are you all right? - I'm fine, thank you.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48Come on, I can take you!
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Aaargh!
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Ooooh...
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Oh, God, Maria, are you all right?
0:19:54 > 0:19:56She's fine, the babies are coming.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59- The babies are... THE BABIES ARE COMING!- Calm down!
0:19:59 > 0:20:00- THE BABIES ARE COMING!- Calm down.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02THE BABIES ARE COMING!
0:20:02 > 0:20:04ECHOING THUMP
0:20:11 > 0:20:13ECHOING THUMP
0:20:19 > 0:20:21ECHOING CRACK
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Maria, come on, lie down.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Everybody else, into the kitchen!
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Come on, love, lie down.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Lie down, get your feet up.
0:20:34 > 0:20:38Remember your classes - breathe in, breathe out...
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Can't see the telly!
0:20:40 > 0:20:41Piss off, you!
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Breathe in...
0:20:43 > 0:20:45I can't see the telly!
0:20:49 > 0:20:50Breathe in, breathe out...
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Oh, Dermot, good man, look after your wife.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55- What will I do?!- Encourage her!
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Go, Maria! Go, Maria!
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Shut up, you moron! Aargh!
0:21:03 > 0:21:05- Mammy, have her waters gone yet? - No, not yet!
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Uuurgh!
0:21:07 > 0:21:09WATER GUSHES
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Scratch that last message!
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Give me a towel!
0:21:14 > 0:21:16SIREN WAILS
0:21:18 > 0:21:21Oh, you're here, thank God!
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Maria, the ambulance is here.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Everything's going to be fine!
0:21:25 > 0:21:27NOT HIM! HER!
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Not her! THIS her!
0:21:34 > 0:21:35Dermot, Dermot...
0:21:35 > 0:21:38Dermot, son, you go in the ambulance with Maria.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41For God's sake, don't you dare faint again, go!
0:21:41 > 0:21:43She's close, five centimetres!
0:21:43 > 0:21:46Aaargh!
0:21:46 > 0:21:49She's close, five kilometres!
0:21:54 > 0:21:56REPETITIVE TAPPING
0:22:00 > 0:22:01Buster, stop it.
0:22:04 > 0:22:05Sorry.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08I'm not able for this feckin' waiting!
0:22:08 > 0:22:12Your father was great - he was so cool.
0:22:12 > 0:22:13I remember when I was in on Rory.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16He just came in and said, "Any news of the baby?"
0:22:16 > 0:22:18I said, "He's two."
0:22:22 > 0:22:24PHONE RINGS
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Hello?
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Kieron? Yes, hold on, he's here.
0:22:34 > 0:22:35Kieron, it's for you.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48PHONE RINGS
0:22:48 > 0:22:50- Is that your phone?- No!
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Of course not - you wouldn't be silly enough
0:22:52 > 0:22:54to leave your phone on in a feckin' studio!
0:22:57 > 0:22:59It's OUR phone!
0:23:04 > 0:23:05Hello?
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Fuck's sake, Kieron!
0:23:14 > 0:23:17REPETITIVE TAPPING
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Stop, Buster!
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Sorry.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26PHONE RINGS
0:23:27 > 0:23:30Hello?
0:23:30 > 0:23:31Dermot!
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Yes?
0:23:33 > 0:23:34Hold on.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37The first one was born an hour ago - it's a boy!
0:23:37 > 0:23:39- Yes!- Yes, love.
0:23:39 > 0:23:44The second was born ten minutes ago - it's another boy! Twin boys!
0:23:44 > 0:23:45Yes!
0:23:45 > 0:23:48I'm still here, love, yes.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51You what?
0:23:53 > 0:23:54Well, I...
0:23:57 > 0:24:01They're expecting the third any minute now.
0:24:01 > 0:24:02Yes!
0:24:02 > 0:24:04My God, life doesn't get better than this!
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Well done, Mammy!
0:24:06 > 0:24:10- I must bring her night clothes in the morning. - And I'll bring her flowers tomorrow.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13- They're not her flowers.- They are - the ones you got for Dermot.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16I didn't get them for Dermot, I got them for Mark.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18For Mark?
0:24:18 > 0:24:19DOOR OPENS
0:24:19 > 0:24:20Ooh, ooh, ooh!
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Oh, Rory, Rory, great news!
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Rory, are you all right?
0:24:28 > 0:24:31Ah, it's me back, Mammy, I feel like I'm two foot tall.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33- Did you fall?- No, Mammy.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36Me and Dino were up in the park, riding!
0:24:36 > 0:24:40LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:24:45 > 0:24:49Three beautiful boys, and they're the image of me.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51That'll be the trauma of the birth, Agnes.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53It'll wear off.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56Sorry.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Three beautiful new Brown boys!
0:24:59 > 0:25:02You won't know yourself with babies in the house.
0:25:02 > 0:25:06I know! Mind you, they're moving out shortly. I should make the most of it while I can.
0:25:06 > 0:25:07Yeah.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Triplets!
0:25:09 > 0:25:11- What a way to end the series.- Yeah.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17- What? This isn't the last episode? - Yes, it is.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19But it can't be - there's been no song!
0:25:19 > 0:25:22You're right, Winnie!
0:25:23 > 0:25:24We have a problem.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Well, just hold on.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28First, I have a problem.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31Betty, I didn't want to upset Maria -
0:25:31 > 0:25:33but I got those flowers for you.
0:25:33 > 0:25:38- I know.- And the tickets to Venice weren't for Dermot and Maria - I got them for us.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41- I know. - And I'm fed up with being told...
0:25:41 > 0:25:44- You know? - Yes, Buster told me everything.
0:25:44 > 0:25:45The hero again.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50OK, then. Fine.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54- Sorry, Ma, what's your problem? - Well, it's much bigger than yours!
0:25:54 > 0:25:57This is the last programme in the series - we've no song!
0:25:57 > 0:25:59I'll give you a song, Ma.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01- Mark, love, you can't sing. - Want to bet?
0:26:01 > 0:26:03MUSIC: Macy Gray's "I Try"
0:26:03 > 0:26:08# Games, changes and fears
0:26:08 > 0:26:10# Where do they go from here?
0:26:12 > 0:26:13# When do they stop?
0:26:13 > 0:26:18# I believe that fate has brought us here
0:26:20 > 0:26:24# And we should be together, babe
0:26:24 > 0:26:26# But we are not
0:26:28 > 0:26:33# I play it cool but I'm thinking of you
0:26:34 > 0:26:38# I keep my cool, but I'm feelin'
0:26:38 > 0:26:43ALL: # I try to say goodbye and I choke
0:26:43 > 0:26:46# Try to walk away and I stumble
0:26:46 > 0:26:49# Though I try to hide it, it's clear
0:26:49 > 0:26:53# My world crumbles when you are not near
0:26:53 > 0:26:55# Goodbye and I choke
0:26:55 > 0:26:58# Try to walk away and I stumble
0:26:58 > 0:27:01# Though I try to hide it, it's clear
0:27:01 > 0:27:06# My world crumbles when you are not near
0:27:06 > 0:27:08# Goodbye and I choke
0:27:08 > 0:27:11# Try to walk away and I stumble
0:27:11 > 0:27:14# Though I try to hide it, it's clear
0:27:14 > 0:27:18# My world crumbles when you are not near. #
0:27:24 > 0:27:28You see?! It always works out the way it's supposed to.
0:27:28 > 0:27:29Good night!
0:27:29 > 0:27:31One more time!
0:27:33 > 0:27:36# I try to say goodbye and I choke
0:27:36 > 0:27:39# Try to walk away and I stumble
0:27:39 > 0:27:43# Though I try to hide it, it's clear
0:27:43 > 0:27:46# My world crumbles when you are not near
0:27:46 > 0:27:50# Goodbye and I choke
0:27:50 > 0:27:53# Try to walk away and I stumble
0:27:53 > 0:27:56# Though I try to hide it, it's clear
0:27:56 > 0:28:00# My world crumbles when you are not near. #
0:28:08 > 0:28:09That's nice!
0:28:11 > 0:28:15E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk