0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains strong language and adult humour.
0:00:11 > 0:00:15Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# She's Mrs Brown
0:00:18 > 0:00:21# That's Mrs Brown
0:00:21 > 0:00:23# Our Mrs Brown. #
0:00:26 > 0:00:28CHEERING
0:00:30 > 0:00:35And now perhaps you might sing us a song, little chicken.
0:00:35 > 0:00:39# Cluck-cluck, cluck, cluck-cluck Cluck-cluck, cluck-cluck. #
0:00:39 > 0:00:44Oh, very, very good. Do I sense the arrival of an egg?
0:00:44 > 0:00:46CROWD: Ooh!
0:00:47 > 0:00:48I think it's hard boiled.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53When I count back from three and click my fingers, you will wake up
0:00:53 > 0:00:55and remember nothing at all.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Three, two, one.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02APPLAUSE
0:01:02 > 0:01:07I'm Simon Lavine, and that's what I call hypnosis.
0:01:07 > 0:01:08Thank you very much.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12Thank you, ladies, thank you. Thank you!
0:01:14 > 0:01:18You were great Mrs McGoogan, very funny!
0:01:18 > 0:01:21Do you think so? Sure, I only had to sit there.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26I tell you, Maria, this is one of the best christening parties
0:01:26 > 0:01:27I've been ever at.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Oh, thanks, Mrs McGoogan,
0:01:29 > 0:01:32with it being triplets, Mummy wanted to make it a bit special.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34What? What was special?
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Winnie was just saying the christening was great.
0:01:36 > 0:01:40Oh, it was fantastic, Maria, three beautiful boys.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43I hate the feckin' names you picked.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46It was Dermot who wanted to call them after The Beatles.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48John, George and Ringo.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52- That's a terrible name to have to live with.- I know.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54When he grows up and the teacher asks his name,
0:01:54 > 0:01:56he's to stand up in front of the whole school
0:01:56 > 0:01:58and say fuckin' "George".
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Wasn't the hypnotist great?
0:02:03 > 0:02:04Winnie, you were very funny.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06I did nothing, Agnes.
0:02:06 > 0:02:10Oh, you did more than I did, I just sat up there like a feckin' eejit.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Mrs Brown, you really don't remember?
0:02:12 > 0:02:13Remember what?
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Everyone enjoying themselves?
0:02:16 > 0:02:17Up to now, yes.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Hope I'm not over-dressed for this place, this is a Louise Kennedy.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25Hope it fits her better than it fits you.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Louise Kennedy is a top designer.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29That's nice.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Mammy!
0:02:33 > 0:02:36Well, drink up, girls, and then it's everyone back to our house.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38- Ooh!- Are you coming, Agnes?
0:02:38 > 0:02:41No, I'd better get home to Grandad, he's been on his own all day.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Well, the champagne's sitting on ice.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Grandad is probably sitting in shite.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51I must say, Agnes, you are a good sport,
0:02:51 > 0:02:53you were really quite funny up on that stage.
0:02:53 > 0:02:54When? What do you mean?
0:02:54 > 0:02:56She doesn't remember anything, Mum.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Really?
0:03:00 > 0:03:03What? What's she laughing at? What's she laughing at?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Never mind, Mrs Brown.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Are we going back to Nicholson's for champers?
0:03:07 > 0:03:11Let's go, I'll call Rory and tell him where we're going.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14- Betty.- Oh, we're heading back to Nicholson's.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15Did you say anything to Mammy?
0:03:15 > 0:03:18No, and don't you say anything either.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Not today, let her enjoy her day.
0:03:20 > 0:03:21You're right.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24What's that about?
0:03:24 > 0:03:26I nearly shot myself in the foot.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28My uncle shot himself in the foot once.
0:03:30 > 0:03:31He was out hunting mushrooms.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Are you going home to Grandad now or will you have another one?
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Actually, go on, I might as well.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43I may as well feckin' hose him down as bath him.
0:03:46 > 0:03:47Hello!
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Well, you just missed a fantastic day.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54Poor Father Damien, he never christened triplets before.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56He nearly ran out of fuckin' water.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58He should've used a hose.
0:03:59 > 0:04:04Oh, I love days like this, you know, family days.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07There's nothing better than having your family round you.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10I'm a very lucky mother and grandmother.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13I saw you talking to yourself again.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16You usually do that at home in your kitchen.
0:04:16 > 0:04:17Yeah, well, it's a new series.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Thought I'd move it around a bit.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24- You were very hard on Mrs Nicholson. - Oh.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Ah, she was only trying to be nice.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29I'm sorry, it's just that every time that woman gives me a compliment,
0:04:29 > 0:04:31I feel like she's waiting on a fuckin' receipt.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Bono's nose is out of joint.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Ah, yes.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39He doesn't like having to share his gran.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41No, he doesn't.
0:04:41 > 0:04:46I just told him we love him so much we got him three new cousins.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48I'm not sure that's the way to tell him, Agnes.
0:04:48 > 0:04:49Why not?
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Well, imagine if your Redser had come home
0:04:51 > 0:04:53and he said, "Listen, Agnes, I love you so much
0:04:53 > 0:04:55"I'm bringing another woman home."
0:04:55 > 0:04:57What would you have said to that?
0:04:57 > 0:04:58I hope she fuckin' cooks.
0:05:03 > 0:05:08"For sale, herd of cows, never been bred.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12"Also for sale, gay bull."
0:05:15 > 0:05:16Morning.
0:05:21 > 0:05:22Moo.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28- Good morning, love, have a cup of tea?- Thanks, Mammy.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31You look a bit down, love, are you all right?
0:05:31 > 0:05:33It's trying to get an apartment.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36There's nothing going that me and Dino can afford.
0:05:36 > 0:05:37You just have to be patient, love.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39We can't be patient, Mammy.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Dino's in his last week in the place he's in now.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44We have to get somewhere by the end of the week.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47- Tea, love?- Just a quick one, Mammy, I have a headache.
0:05:47 > 0:05:48Hangover, more like.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51- Good night at the Nicholsons' last night?- Great.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Isn't their kitchen just beautiful?
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Amazing, you could live in it.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Ha, a kitchen's a kitchen, as long as it's cosy and functional,
0:05:59 > 0:06:00like this one.
0:06:02 > 0:06:06Excuse me, everything in this kitchen has always worked,
0:06:06 > 0:06:07except your father.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Maybe it could do with a lick of paint.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14This needs more than a lick of paint, Mammy,
0:06:14 > 0:06:16you need to give it a facelift.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18This kitchen was built to last.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24It even has fuckin' automatic doors.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33These things cost money, Cathy.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36Mammy, your eldest son is a carpenter.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39- That's true.- And he could use the work, especially now.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Ouch!
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Mammy, she's after kicking me!
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Well, that was a very stagey fuckin' "Ouch."
0:06:47 > 0:06:48Ouch!
0:06:49 > 0:06:50Eek!
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Can we try that again?
0:06:53 > 0:06:54Really fuckin' kick him.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00- Mammy, your eldest son is a carpenter.- True.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02And he could use the work, especially now.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04Ouch!
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Sorry.
0:07:08 > 0:07:12Let me just show you the sound I'm really fuckin' looking for.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15You don't be kicking him,
0:07:15 > 0:07:19or I'm telling you I'll take those good knickers off you.
0:07:19 > 0:07:20What do you mean, now?
0:07:22 > 0:07:27Nothing, I just mean that now might be a good time to do it.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30I have to go, I'll be home on me lunch break, Mammy. Bye.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Wait, Rory! I'll walk to the bus with you.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Mammy, I'm meeting Thomas later so I won't need dinner.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Why? Are you going to eat, Thomas?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Don't answer that.
0:07:39 > 0:07:40Hiya, Winnie.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44How are ya, Cathy, love?
0:07:44 > 0:07:45That's loose.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Well spotted.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49The christening was great.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Oh, it was fantastic. Do you want tea?
0:07:51 > 0:07:52Oh, yes, please, Agnes.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55Winnie, you were very funny on that stage.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Sure, I did nothing.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00When you did the chicken. It was very funny.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04All he had to say was the magic words - finger lickin' good.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07Cluck! cluck-cluck-cluck!
0:08:14 > 0:08:17And then he just clicked his fingers
0:08:17 > 0:08:19and you didn't remember anything.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Remember what?
0:08:24 > 0:08:26About the fuckin' chicken.
0:08:27 > 0:08:28Hello, Ma.
0:08:28 > 0:08:32Hello, son. Oh, this is an unexpected surprise.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Oh, we're just dropping Bono to school and thought we'd drop in.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Well, you're just in time for tea.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40- And we'd like to have a chat with you.- Sure.
0:08:40 > 0:08:41- In private.- Winnie.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43- Yeah?- They'd like to talk private. - Oh.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46Mum-um-um-um-um...
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Winnie! Family business, fuck off.
0:08:54 > 0:08:55What is it, love?
0:08:55 > 0:08:57I'm being made redundant, Ma, in three weeks.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Oh, I'm sorry, love.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01But, you know, sometimes these things work out
0:09:01 > 0:09:02just the way they're supposed to.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05I was just thinking about getting the kitchen done.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07You can do that while you're waiting on another job, and then
0:09:07 > 0:09:11I can pay you. I'd rather pay you than pay anybody else.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Hello there.
0:09:21 > 0:09:22You're just in time.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Screw yourself into that door there, will you?
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Go on, you know the drill.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34Did you want a cup of tea or did you just come for a charge?
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Betty, just the girl, could you do me a favour?
0:09:36 > 0:09:39It's the toy fair tomorrow, and the boss is looking for
0:09:39 > 0:09:42a pretty blonde to play a kind of a Barbie doll.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44Oh, jeez, Betty, you could help there,
0:09:44 > 0:09:46you must know a pretty blonde.
0:09:47 > 0:09:48Ma! I meant Betty.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50And who's going to play Ken?
0:09:50 > 0:09:51Me!
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Are they dolls, will they damage in a fire?
0:09:57 > 0:09:58Hilarious.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Do you fancy it, Betty?
0:10:01 > 0:10:04No, Dermot, not with Bono in school, but thanks for asking.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06No bother, I have someone else in mind anyway.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09- How are yas?- Hiya, Buster.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Did you want me for something, Dermo?
0:10:11 > 0:10:13Dermot, we wanted to have a chat with Ma.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15No bother. Buster, in there.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21See, the thing is, Ma...
0:10:21 > 0:10:22KNOCKING
0:10:22 > 0:10:23Hello, help! >
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Just give me a minute.
0:10:25 > 0:10:26Jesus!
0:10:26 > 0:10:27Mark, we have to.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29I'm coming, Grandad.
0:10:31 > 0:10:32I didn't do anything!
0:10:32 > 0:10:34I know but you will.
0:10:34 > 0:10:35< Help me!
0:10:35 > 0:10:38I'm coming, for God's sake, keep your fecking clothes on.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40So, what did you want me for, Dermo?
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Firstly, me mother-in-law wants her afghan back.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46Dermo, I swear, it followed me home.
0:10:46 > 0:10:47Buster, it's a rug.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Fair enough. It's in the car.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56You still driving that banger?
0:10:56 > 0:10:57It gets me from A to...
0:10:57 > 0:11:00A.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01When it starts.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04< Get back into the bed. Get into...
0:11:04 > 0:11:06< Look at my lips!
0:11:06 > 0:11:07< Up here!
0:11:10 > 0:11:12< Get into...
0:11:12 > 0:11:13You OK, Mammy?
0:11:14 > 0:11:18It's your Grandad, he knocked over his glass of water in his sleep.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20Now I can't find his fuckin' teeth.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23He won't get back into bed. He thinks they're in the bed
0:11:23 > 0:11:26and they're going to chew the balls off him.
0:11:26 > 0:11:30Get in! Get in, you feck! Get into the bed!
0:11:30 > 0:11:32So, what's the other thing, Dermo?
0:11:32 > 0:11:33I have a day's work for you.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35Meet me at the toy fair at nine in the morning.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39That's great. See you in the morning.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41I'll see yas.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Mark, do you want me to say it to her?
0:11:45 > 0:11:47No, I'll tell her. Jesus.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Mark? Any chance of a push?
0:11:49 > 0:11:51No.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54It wasn't long ago we had a car like that.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57Fine, then. OK, Buster, I'll give you a push.
0:11:57 > 0:11:58< Oh, thanks, Mark.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Where are ya?
0:12:00 > 0:12:01< Over here, on the swing.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06Right, see yas.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10< Dermot, give us a push will ya?
0:12:10 > 0:12:11< No.
0:12:11 > 0:12:15Sorry about that, love. Now, where was I?
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Oh, yes, the kitchen. You could do that.
0:12:17 > 0:12:21I can't Ma, I don't want the job that I might not be here to finish.
0:12:21 > 0:12:22What do you mean?
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Mrs Brown, there's no work out there. In three weeks, Mark is
0:12:25 > 0:12:28finished, and the chance of getting a job is, well, there's nothing.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31I know you feel like that, Betty, but you mustn't give up hope.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33We're not giving up, Mrs Brown.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35I've found some work
0:12:35 > 0:12:36in Australia.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Oh, Jesus, we'll miss you, won't we, son?
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Ma, we're all going to Australia.
0:12:45 > 0:12:46When do we leave?
0:12:48 > 0:12:49Mammy.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52I, I was just trying to make light of it.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Good for you.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57You're right, you have to make a life for yourselves
0:12:57 > 0:13:00and if you can't make it here, then you go wherever you can.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03Thanks, Ma, I knew you'd understand.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06And you can visit. It's not that far.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Of course I will.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10I'm getting excited now.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Well, we're not there yet - we still have to get the visas.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Let's go to the embassy now.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16OK, let's go. See ya, Ma.
0:13:16 > 0:13:17See yas.
0:13:31 > 0:13:32How is she?
0:13:32 > 0:13:36All right, I think. But you know Mammy, Rory,
0:13:36 > 0:13:38she's putting on a brave face, but, well...
0:13:38 > 0:13:43I know, under that hard exterior
0:13:43 > 0:13:44is another hard exterior.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Stop, don't make me laugh.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52Emigrating to Australia?
0:13:52 > 0:13:53Yes.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55That's a long way away.
0:13:55 > 0:13:56I know.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58That's further than America.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01I know.
0:14:01 > 0:14:02The other side of the world, it is.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04I fuckin' know.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08It's miles and miles away.
0:14:08 > 0:14:12Winnie, don't volunteer for The Samaritans.
0:14:12 > 0:14:13I'm just saying.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19I had an auntie, emigrated to America.
0:14:19 > 0:14:23We never heard from her again, not even a letter.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26Was this the one that was on the Titanic?
0:14:26 > 0:14:27Yeah.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38We never heard from her again.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Where are they going in Australia?
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Somewhere outside Sydney. Poitier or something like that.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50Oh, Rory, you missed it at the christening party in Foley's.
0:14:50 > 0:14:54I heard the hypnotist was brilliant and Mammy was really funny.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Oh, it was hilarious.
0:14:56 > 0:14:57What did he get her to do?
0:14:57 > 0:15:00When he had her under, he said that every time
0:15:00 > 0:15:03he said the magic word, Mammy would think she was an Alsatian dog.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09And she was hilarious.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12And then he just clicked his fingers and she didn't even remember it.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14What was the magic word?
0:15:14 > 0:15:15Triplets.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Woof! Woof!
0:15:17 > 0:15:23I suppose that's the way it was with our children.
0:15:25 > 0:15:29One minute, they're little babies, crawling on the ground...
0:15:32 > 0:15:36..and the next minute, they're all grown up.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Just like that.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Am I right, Agnes?
0:15:45 > 0:15:47What? Right about what?
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Children growing up quick.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Yeah.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Then he told her that when he said another word,
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Mammy would think she was a stripper!
0:16:03 > 0:16:05What was that word?
0:16:05 > 0:16:08It was, oh, I can't remember, but it was so funny.
0:16:09 > 0:16:14Fair play to that hypnotist, he was on the ball, you know,
0:16:14 > 0:16:17it being the three boys' christening, to pick that word triplets.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Woof! Woof!
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Throw the ball! Throw the ball!
0:16:29 > 0:16:30Aaargh!
0:16:32 > 0:16:33Throw the fucking ball!
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Rory, Cathy, help!
0:16:41 > 0:16:44It's your Mammy! I think she's annoyed with me!
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Winnie, what the fuck is wrong with you?
0:16:57 > 0:17:00We should contact that hypnotist to take Mammy out of that.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Yeah, we should.
0:17:03 > 0:17:04But not yet!
0:17:06 > 0:17:08To Australia!
0:17:08 > 0:17:09I wish you the best of luck, Betty.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Thank you, Mrs Brown.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14You'll need it, I tell ya, with all them snakes and sharks
0:17:14 > 0:17:16and poisonous spiders that hide under the toilet seat.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18- What?- Yes.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20There's a reason they sent convicts to Australia,
0:17:20 > 0:17:22it's a fuckin' death trap.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24It's not like that.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26A lot of Australians live in really nice places.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30Yes, Dublin or London, as far away from Australia as they can.
0:17:30 > 0:17:31Aye, yeah.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Small sharks.
0:17:33 > 0:17:34What?
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Well, in the toilet, they'd have to be small sharks.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44Winnie, go up and tell Mr Foley that he wants you, will you?
0:17:44 > 0:17:45OK, love.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51I'm serious. Can you imagine sitting in the toilet, and one of them
0:17:51 > 0:17:54creepy spiders crawling up towards your ying yang?
0:17:54 > 0:17:56It's called a funnel web.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59You call yours what you like, love, mine's a ying yang.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03How long will you stay there, Betty?
0:18:03 > 0:18:07Till she needs a shit, then she'll be on the first plane home.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09You wait and see.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12Mr Foley said he didn't want me.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15I wish he'd make up his feckin' mind.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18Have the two of you decided where in Australia?
0:18:18 > 0:18:20Mark wants to go to Sydney.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Jacko and me were in Australia.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24I didn't know that, where?
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Perth.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28I believe Perth is beautiful.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31We didn't like it, very cold, and the people all spoke funny.
0:18:37 > 0:18:38Winnie, was it kind of like,
0:18:38 > 0:18:41"There's a moose loose about this hoose?"
0:18:44 > 0:18:46You feckin' eejit.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48That's Canada.
0:18:53 > 0:18:54Well, at least we were there.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Will you come to the toilet with me, Agnes?
0:19:02 > 0:19:03Why?
0:19:03 > 0:19:07Well, in case there's one of them spider thingies,
0:19:07 > 0:19:10and it might attack me ying yang. That'd be fatal.
0:19:10 > 0:19:11For the spider.
0:19:13 > 0:19:17Winnie, you're all right, they won't be there. It's only in Australia.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22- C'mon, I'll go with you, c'mon. - Thanks, Agnes.- Feck's sake.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27By the way, Maria, thanks for a great night at the christening.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Oh, we really wanted to mark the occasion.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31It's not every day you get to christen triplets.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33< Woof! Woof!
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Ya dirty bastard!
0:19:53 > 0:19:55What was that about?
0:19:55 > 0:19:57There's something I meant to tell you.
0:20:00 > 0:20:01PHONE RINGS
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Phone! Phone!
0:20:05 > 0:20:06Phone!
0:20:06 > 0:20:09'Hello, this is Agnes Brown. I'm not taking your call,
0:20:09 > 0:20:12'because I'm trying to avoid somebody I don't like.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17'Please leave your number, and if I don't call back, it's you.'
0:20:18 > 0:20:20BEEP
0:20:20 > 0:20:21'Hello, Mrs Brown.
0:20:21 > 0:20:25'Damien, Father Damien. I'm on my way over to see you.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27'I heard about Mark emigrating
0:20:27 > 0:20:29'and I thought you could use a little chat.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31'Hello?
0:20:31 > 0:20:33'I feckin' hate these things.'
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Phone!
0:20:39 > 0:20:41What's wrong with you?
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Phone!
0:20:43 > 0:20:44Priest.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Message.
0:20:46 > 0:20:47I can't sleep!
0:20:51 > 0:20:53Does that smell like chloroform to you?
0:20:57 > 0:20:58There we are.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Hello, Ken!
0:21:08 > 0:21:09Are you on your own?
0:21:09 > 0:21:11No, Buster's with me.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Come on, Buster.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14< I'm coming.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Buster, sit down, son.
0:21:28 > 0:21:33No, I'll stand. I might damage the box, and that affects the value.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Do you want a cup of tea, love?
0:21:35 > 0:21:37No, Mammy, we just called to see if you're OK.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41We heard about Mark.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Do you want a cup of tea, son?
0:21:49 > 0:21:51No, Ma, we just called in to see if you're OK.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53We heard about Mark.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Close your fuckin' mouth.
0:22:09 > 0:22:10Would you like a cup of tea, son?
0:22:12 > 0:22:13No, Mammy.
0:22:16 > 0:22:20We just called in to see if you're OK. We heard about Mark.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26It's fuckin' Hawaii Five-0 now.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Would you like a cup of tea, son?
0:22:32 > 0:22:35No, Mammy, we just called in to see if you're OK.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37We heard about Mark.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39It is what it is, I'm fine.
0:22:39 > 0:22:40Yeah.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42I might emigrate to Australia.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Buster, they stopped taking people like you in Australia
0:22:44 > 0:22:45200 years ago.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Well, you're all right anyway, are you, Mammy?
0:22:49 > 0:22:50I'm grand...
0:22:54 > 0:22:55I fucking can't...
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Oh, Jesus.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10OK, this time, this time, this time.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Well, you're all right anyway, are you, Mammy?
0:23:24 > 0:23:27I'm fine, thanks for thinking about me, Elvis.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Dermo, can I take a break?
0:23:32 > 0:23:33No.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37Aw, come on, Dermo, I just want a chance to think outside the box.
0:23:39 > 0:23:40< Shut up, Buster.
0:23:42 > 0:23:43< Hiya, Mark! Hiya, Bono.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46- Hiya, Ma!- Hello, son.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Oh, look at you, Bono. So big.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53Ma, I'm looking for a certificate.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55It's for me application for Australia.
0:23:55 > 0:23:56What kind of certificate?
0:23:56 > 0:23:57Baptism.
0:23:57 > 0:24:01Do you have any idea where it might... I know where it is.
0:24:01 > 0:24:02I know where it is.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Hiya, Bono!
0:24:06 > 0:24:09- Are you sad?- Aye.
0:24:09 > 0:24:10Do you want to see something funny?
0:24:10 > 0:24:11Aye.
0:24:11 > 0:24:12Watch this.
0:24:15 > 0:24:16Triplets!
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Woof! Woof!
0:24:34 > 0:24:38It's nice to see you smiling, mister. What's so funny?
0:24:38 > 0:24:39Nothing, Granny.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Right, that's me back to work, I'll see yas later.
0:24:42 > 0:24:43See ya, love.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49I don't want to go to Australia, Granny.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Don't be silly, it'll be a great adventure.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54New school, new friends.
0:24:54 > 0:24:55But no Granny.
0:24:57 > 0:24:58No.
0:24:58 > 0:24:59DOORBELL RINGS
0:24:59 > 0:25:01But I can visit.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04You wait and see, you'll be sick of me out there, I swear.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Hello, Father, c'mon in.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11You know, I don't know a lot about Australia,
0:25:11 > 0:25:15but I know it has gorgeous beaches and everybody has a sun tan.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18- Really?- Yes, it's like Skegness.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21I have a great idea.
0:25:21 > 0:25:22What?
0:25:22 > 0:25:26Mammy and Daddy can go to Australia, and I will stay here with you.
0:25:26 > 0:25:27No.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29Please, Granny?
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Wait a second, Father.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33No, I wouldn't want you here in my way, under me feet.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35No, go to Australia.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37But I won't be any trouble.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40No, you go to Australia with your Mammy and your Daddy.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41Fine.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45I don't want to see you ever again!
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Bono!
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Thanks, Ma.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Ah, hello, Mrs Brown!
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Oh, that's all I fuckin' need now.
0:26:03 > 0:26:04Hiya, Sharon.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Ah, howya, Cathy?
0:26:06 > 0:26:08Here, do you remember the hypnotist the other night?
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Yeah, why? What's he saying?
0:26:10 > 0:26:12That rash was there before I went near him.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17No! Do you have a number for him?
0:26:17 > 0:26:19Oh, yeah, I have his card somewhere.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23Mammy is still hypnotised.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25- Oh, here.- Thanks.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27I couldn't remember the other magic word,
0:26:27 > 0:26:29the one that turned her into a stripper?
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Oh, yeah, baptism.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33I'm fine.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36I don't need counselling, I'm fine.
0:26:36 > 0:26:42OK, but still, I mean, I haven't seen you since the baptism.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45I know you're upset about Mark emigrating,
0:26:45 > 0:26:48but something many of my parishioners have gone through,
0:26:48 > 0:26:51virtually on a daily basis.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Mrs Brown?
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Mrs... Emigration isn't...
0:27:08 > 0:27:09Mrs Brown!
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Are you all right, Mrs Brown?
0:27:13 > 0:27:15There's no place like home!
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Mrs Brown! What are you doing?
0:27:25 > 0:27:27I really have to be leaving soon.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29Not yet, Mr Lavine.
0:27:29 > 0:27:30Cluck-cluck-cluck!
0:27:37 > 0:27:38Woof!
0:27:38 > 0:27:40Cluck! Cluck!
0:27:40 > 0:27:41Woof! Woof!
0:27:46 > 0:27:48Just a few more minutes.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51Woof! Woof!
0:27:51 > 0:27:52Good night.
0:27:54 > 0:27:59# Say hello to the queen of Dublin town
0:28:01 > 0:28:05# As the best mum of all She wears the crown
0:28:07 > 0:28:10# Mother hen watching all her chicks
0:28:10 > 0:28:13# Sassy old lady full of tricks
0:28:13 > 0:28:18# It's a safe bet she'd never let life get her down
0:28:18 > 0:28:22# She's Mrs Brown
0:28:22 > 0:28:25# That's Mrs Brown
0:28:25 > 0:28:27# Our Mrs Brown. #
0:28:27 > 0:28:28Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd