0:00:02 > 0:00:10This programme contains strong language
0:00:10 > 0:00:11SHE LAUGHS
0:00:11 > 0:00:16Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys.
0:00:16 > 0:00:19- # She's Mrs Brown - Agnes
0:00:19 > 0:00:21- # That's Mrs Brown - Agnes
0:00:21 > 0:00:24# Our Mrs Brown. #
0:00:24 > 0:00:26# Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm Ooh, ooh
0:00:26 > 0:00:27# Eh, eh, eh, eh Ooh, ooh
0:00:27 > 0:00:29# Eh, eh, eh, eh Ooh, ooh... #
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Heh heh heh.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33# La, la, la, la
0:00:33 > 0:00:35# La, la, la, la... #
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Hello.
0:00:38 > 0:00:39LAUGHTER
0:00:39 > 0:00:42You know, I always feel such a sense of joy this day, every year.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44SHE LAUGHS
0:00:46 > 0:00:47It's my anniversary!
0:00:47 > 0:00:5027 years this year.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53Good morning, Winnie.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Good morning! Happy anniversary!
0:00:56 > 0:00:57Thank you, love.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00- Do you know, it only seems like yesterday.- I know!
0:01:00 > 0:01:03I was behind you as you walked down that aisle.
0:01:03 > 0:01:04And I looked past you
0:01:04 > 0:01:07and I could see your Redser in front of the altar...
0:01:09 > 0:01:10..in the coffin.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12LAUGHTER
0:01:12 > 0:01:13Weren't the flowers beautiful?
0:01:13 > 0:01:16Oh, yeah.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18I think I'll treat meself this year.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20- A party?- No, a trip away somewhere.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Nowhere grand, you know, just maybe Galway or the Isle of Man.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25Galway Races are on next week.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28That's right, Winnie. I could do that.
0:01:28 > 0:01:29DOOR CLOSES
0:01:29 > 0:01:32- Hiya, Mammy.- Hello, son.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33How are you, Mrs McGoogan?
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Hiya, Rory.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38You look very down, love. What's wrong?
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Did Take That break up again?
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Oh, Mammy, don't say that!
0:01:42 > 0:01:45I'd ride that Gary Barlow.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49LAUGHTER
0:01:51 > 0:01:53- Did I say that out loud?- Yes!
0:01:54 > 0:01:56It's poor Dino.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59He hates living in that hotel since he lost his bedsit.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Last week you said that you already had an apartment.
0:02:02 > 0:02:03But that's what we thought.
0:02:03 > 0:02:07Now the owner is saying he's not sure if we can have it for a couple of weeks.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09If it's only two weeks, he can stay here.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11With Dermot gone there's plenty of room.
0:02:11 > 0:02:12- Really?- Yes!
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Oh, that'd be fabulous!
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Is that the time already? I'd better go.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22And, Rory, tell Dino I'll do that thing for him.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25What's Winnie doing for Dino?
0:02:25 > 0:02:29I'm not sure, I wasn't really listening.
0:02:29 > 0:02:30And, Mammy, to thank you
0:02:30 > 0:02:33I'm going to do something really special for ya.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36Oh, no, no. There's no need... Well, yeah...
0:02:36 > 0:02:39I'm going to go in and ring Dino now and tell him.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Do you know, I knew this was going to happen.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Jimmy Gennochi said it would.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Who the Jesus is Jimmy Gennochi?
0:02:46 > 0:02:48The psychic! He's amazing.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50I ring his psychic line once a week.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53He sees dead people.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55LAUGHTER
0:02:58 > 0:03:01He sees gobshites with credit cards!
0:03:01 > 0:03:03LAUGHTER
0:03:05 > 0:03:06Hello.
0:03:06 > 0:03:10Is that Saint Mary of the Universe, Home for the Bewildered?
0:03:10 > 0:03:11Sorry, Elderly.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13LAUGHTER
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Yes. I'm enquiring about the cost of
0:03:15 > 0:03:17putting a man in there for two weeks.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Yes, well, I...
0:03:20 > 0:03:21Yes, I'll hold.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23DOOR CLOSES
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Winnie, I'm on hold.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29I'm trying to find somewhere to put the man that God forgot...
0:03:29 > 0:03:31LAUGHTER
0:03:31 > 0:03:33..when I have me break.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34Put the kettle on.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Hello, yes?
0:03:37 > 0:03:39I was speaking to one of your colleagues...
0:03:39 > 0:03:40LAUGHTER
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Yes, concerning the financial...
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Yes, I'll hold.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Spend me feckin' day on hold!
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Hello, yes.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54Well, no, what I was trying to... How long am I on hold?
0:03:54 > 0:03:55Well, let me see...
0:03:55 > 0:03:58I was ringing about putting somebody into your home.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00But actually, I've been so long on hold he's fuckin' dead!
0:04:00 > 0:04:03LAUGHTER
0:04:03 > 0:04:05APPLAUSE
0:04:10 > 0:04:12That's the fourth home I've called this morning.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14I can't believe the prices they're charging.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16For that kind of money,
0:04:16 > 0:04:18he can go to Galway, I'll stay in the buckin' home.
0:04:18 > 0:04:19LAUGHTER
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- Why? How much?- Too much!
0:04:23 > 0:04:25I'll never get away for this feckin' trip!
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Of course you will! Someone will take him for two weeks.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32LAUGHTER
0:04:32 > 0:04:33Not me!
0:04:33 > 0:04:37I mean, I would, but Jacko could come out of hospital any day, Agnes.
0:04:37 > 0:04:38Of course he could.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40LAUGHTER
0:04:42 > 0:04:44I can't believe the price they charge.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47You know, the Heaven's Gate home is cheap.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49But that's because they found Legionnaires disease there.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Did they?
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Grandad, pack your feckin' bags!
0:04:53 > 0:04:55LAUGHTER
0:04:55 > 0:04:57It's Bonanza Construction!
0:04:58 > 0:04:59What do you want?
0:04:59 > 0:05:03Right, Mrs Brown, it's time to pick your sink and your taps.
0:05:03 > 0:05:04Am I on some kind of budget here?
0:05:04 > 0:05:08Doesn't matter what the price says, you pick out whichever one you want.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Oooh.
0:05:10 > 0:05:11Oh, I like that one.
0:05:11 > 0:05:12No, not that one.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15That's a nice one.
0:05:15 > 0:05:16No, they're very unreliable.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18An unreliable sink?
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Well, you wouldn't want an unreliable sink.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22No, you wouldn't.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26LAUGHTER
0:05:26 > 0:05:27What about that one?
0:05:27 > 0:05:29- No.- That one?
0:05:29 > 0:05:30Nah.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32That one?
0:05:32 > 0:05:34What about that one?
0:05:34 > 0:05:38Now, you'd think that one was good, but they suffer from tin worm.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42LAUGHTER
0:05:42 > 0:05:43Tin worm.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Which one would you recommend?
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Well, now, it's up to you. Keep looking.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52What about this one here?
0:05:52 > 0:05:55The one with the big red circle round it and the X beside it?
0:05:55 > 0:05:56LAUGHTER
0:05:56 > 0:05:57Great choice!
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Right, Buffalo Bill, unload the sink.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05You'll like it, Mrs Brown, it's a lovely sink.
0:06:05 > 0:06:06Fine. I'm sure it will be fine.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08I'll tell Billy the Kid, the plumber.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10When are you going to start this job?
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Well, I have Jesse James the spark starting Friday.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15And we'll be in to do the wiring first thing on Monday. I'll see ya.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18Jesse James? They're all very peculiar names!
0:06:18 > 0:06:20There's a lot of cowboys in this business, Mrs Brown.
0:06:20 > 0:06:21LAUGHTER
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Yee-ha!
0:06:26 > 0:06:28I can't believe he did that fuckin' joke!
0:06:28 > 0:06:30LAUGHTER
0:06:30 > 0:06:32You know, it's a pity Dr Flynn can't sort something out
0:06:32 > 0:06:34for Grandad for a couple of weeks.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37Jesus, Winnie, you might have something there.
0:06:38 > 0:06:39I think I need to call me a doctor!
0:06:44 > 0:06:46LAUGHTER
0:06:48 > 0:06:51And I've been very tired in the mornings, you know?
0:06:51 > 0:06:53What with looking after Grandad.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57Patient, Agnes Brown.
0:06:57 > 0:06:58Age?
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Fine.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04Everybody needs a break, I suppose.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Especially when you're looking after Grandad.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08- Weight?- 145 pounds.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12That's cos I'm run down, you know, looking after Grandad.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15175 pounds.
0:07:15 > 0:07:16LAUGHTER
0:07:18 > 0:07:19Height?
0:07:19 > 0:07:215 foot 10.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24LAUGHTER
0:07:24 > 0:07:275 foot 3.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30I do shrink in me sleep, that's cos of the stress.
0:07:30 > 0:07:31Grandad.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33I need to take your pressure, Mrs Brown.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35I knew this was coming.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37You see, what I think...
0:07:37 > 0:07:39LAUGHTER
0:07:45 > 0:07:46Oh, I'm sorry.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49What I could really do with is Grandad going into hospital for
0:07:49 > 0:07:50a couple of weeks' respite care.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53Respite care's only given to the really needy.
0:07:53 > 0:07:54I'm really needy.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57I'm really needy of a weeky breaky.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59LAUGHTER
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Your blood pressure's quite high.
0:08:01 > 0:08:05Are you surprised? I was tall and slim before you got here.
0:08:07 > 0:08:08Now I'm a fat fuckin' midget!
0:08:08 > 0:08:10LAUGHTER
0:08:10 > 0:08:12I'll give you something to take that down.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15What I really need is a holiday, away from Grandad.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Mrs Brown, the department would come out and test Grandad.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20They'd see that he doesn't need special care.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22What kind of tests?
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Well, they test him for dementia...
0:08:24 > 0:08:27Dementia, that's the one! Get them down to test him.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29But he's not demented.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Get them down to test him!
0:08:31 > 0:08:32LAUGHTER
0:08:32 > 0:08:36Fine, but I'm telling you now,
0:08:36 > 0:08:38he won't qualify.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40You leave that to me, Doctor.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44By the time they get here, he'll be as mad as a fuckin' brush.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46LAUGHTER
0:08:46 > 0:08:48APPLAUSE
0:08:48 > 0:08:50We're here!
0:08:50 > 0:08:51Hello, boys.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Oh, Mrs Brown, thanks very much for allowing me to stay.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56No problem, Dino. I didn't know you were homeless.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59If I'd known, I would have invited you a lot sooner.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Aw!
0:09:01 > 0:09:02Dino!
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Oh, Rory!
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Oh, Dino!
0:09:07 > 0:09:09Oh, Jesus!
0:09:09 > 0:09:12LAUGHTER
0:09:16 > 0:09:18LAUGHTER
0:09:24 > 0:09:26What the...
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Good morning, Mrs Brown!
0:09:29 > 0:09:30What's all this?
0:09:30 > 0:09:32I've prepared a little breakfast for you.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34You've a long day ahead, so I thought I'd treat you.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Breakfast for me?
0:09:36 > 0:09:39I haven't had breakfast cooked for me...ever!
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Well, today's the day.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Sit yourself down, now.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Thank you very much, son.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50What's this shit?
0:09:50 > 0:09:52LAUGHTER
0:09:52 > 0:09:53I mean...what is this?
0:09:53 > 0:09:55It's Eggs Florentine.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57A lightly poached egg with creamed spinach
0:09:57 > 0:10:01and a hollandaise sauce on a grilled crouton.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02Toast.
0:10:02 > 0:10:03LAUGHTER
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Very good! Toast.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07DINO LAUGHS
0:10:07 > 0:10:08Right, I'm off.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Toast!
0:10:10 > 0:10:11DINO LAUGHS
0:10:11 > 0:10:12MRS BROWN LAUGHS
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Toast!
0:10:14 > 0:10:15MRS BROWN LAUGHS
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Spinach for fuckin' breakfast?
0:10:17 > 0:10:19LAUGHTER
0:10:19 > 0:10:20Morning, Mammy.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22You just missed Heston Blumenthal.
0:10:22 > 0:10:23LAUGHTER
0:10:23 > 0:10:26Ah, Mammy, Dino's just trying to be nice.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28I appreciate that, but this is my kitchen.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Let him be feckin' nice somewhere else.
0:10:31 > 0:10:32Do you want a cup of tea, love?
0:10:32 > 0:10:34With a crouton?
0:10:34 > 0:10:35Just tea.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Did you sleep all right, love?
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Oh, yeah...lovely!
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Will you tell Dino to stop making that bed?
0:10:41 > 0:10:43My God, you'd think he never slept in it.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45LAUGHTER
0:10:45 > 0:10:46Morning.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Morning, Mrs McGoogan.
0:10:48 > 0:10:52Rory, tell Dino I'll be there on time. Six o'clock.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56Er, yeah, right, I'll tell him. I'd better be off. Bye!
0:10:56 > 0:10:58What about your feckin' tea?
0:10:58 > 0:11:00- Winnie, get yourself tea, will you?- All right.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03I have to get Grandad ready for his test.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05What test?
0:11:05 > 0:11:07The tester's coming to test him for the home.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09It's like a quiz.
0:11:09 > 0:11:10Oh, I love quizzes.
0:11:10 > 0:11:11That's nice.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14LAUGHTER
0:11:14 > 0:11:17Now, Grandad, when the tester gets here tomorrow
0:11:17 > 0:11:20and he asks you a question, what have you to do?
0:11:20 > 0:11:21Get right answers.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Is correct. And if you get the wrong answers, he'll...
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Shoot me?
0:11:26 > 0:11:27LAUGHTER
0:11:27 > 0:11:28With a big gun!
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Now, I've asked around and the first question they always ask is,
0:11:33 > 0:11:35"What is the highest mountain in the world?"
0:11:35 > 0:11:36Everest.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39No, it's the Amazon!
0:11:39 > 0:11:41The Amazon's a river!
0:11:42 > 0:11:44LAUGHTER
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Look how confused you are!
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Why don't I ask Winnie?
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Winnie, what's the tallest mountain in the world?
0:11:50 > 0:11:52What you said it was, Agnes.
0:11:52 > 0:11:53That's right!
0:11:54 > 0:11:58Now, Grandad, question two -
0:11:58 > 0:12:01"What singer is famous for the moonwalk?'"
0:12:01 > 0:12:02Michael Jackson.
0:12:02 > 0:12:03LAUGHTER
0:12:03 > 0:12:06Neil Armstrong! Winnie?
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Neil Armstrong.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Neil Armstrong.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Oh, right answer!
0:12:13 > 0:12:14There you go. Yum, yum, yum.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17And the prize?
0:12:17 > 0:12:19A week in Galway for me!
0:12:20 > 0:12:22LAUGHTER
0:12:22 > 0:12:25APPLAUSE
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Here we go, Mrs Brown.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34A cider for you and a gin and tonic for Mrs McGoogan.
0:12:34 > 0:12:35Winnie, where is she?
0:12:35 > 0:12:38She's on her way. Oh, she was a fantastic model.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Model? What do you mean, model?
0:12:40 > 0:12:44In the hairdressing competition. Winnie was my model.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47It's a pity Rory wasn't in it. I could have been his model.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Oh, he was, Mrs Brown. And he did have a model.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54LAUGHTER
0:12:57 > 0:13:01Jesus, I hope Winnie doesn't end up looking like a feckin' badger.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06LAUGHTER
0:13:07 > 0:13:10Winnie's after finding a fuckin' nest!
0:13:11 > 0:13:13So, where did you park your motorbike?
0:13:15 > 0:13:17It looks like you've combed it up from under your arms.
0:13:17 > 0:13:18LAUGHTER
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Agnes, darling.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Well, what do you think?
0:13:25 > 0:13:28I've seen better hairstyles on an elephant's testicles.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30LAUGHTER
0:13:30 > 0:13:31How are ya, Mammy?
0:13:32 > 0:13:34AUDIENCE: Oooh!
0:13:34 > 0:13:36So, who won your competition?
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Rory did!
0:13:38 > 0:13:39Congratulations.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Yes, we did. Though we weren't up against much.
0:13:43 > 0:13:44AUDIENCE: Oooh.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48I'll just go and get us a drink, Dino.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52I would have been a good model!
0:13:52 > 0:13:53Well, Rory said you didn't qualify.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56What do you mean, I didn't qualify?
0:13:56 > 0:13:59Well, you probably have to have a thick growth like mine.
0:13:59 > 0:14:03No, the category was Hairstyles for Seniors.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:14:08 > 0:14:11APPLAUSE
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Was it, now?
0:14:18 > 0:14:20I love you, son.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23- Oh, thank God. And, Mammy... - Yes, love.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Remember I said I was going to do something special for you?
0:14:25 > 0:14:28Oh, now, you don't... Well, yes, you did.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32Well, Cathy's at home waiting and so's your surprise!
0:14:32 > 0:14:35Well, what are we doing here? Come on, let's get home!
0:14:37 > 0:14:39They're on their way.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43I've never taken part in one of these before, Mr Gennochi.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46Cathy, you'll be fine. You'll be fine.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48I wonder how Mammy's going to take it.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51There is nothing frightening about the spirit world, nothing!
0:14:51 > 0:14:54It's not the spirit world I'm worried about!
0:14:55 > 0:14:58I can't wait for this feckin' surprise!
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Shit, we've been robbed!
0:15:01 > 0:15:02LAUGHTER
0:15:02 > 0:15:06No, Mammy! Remember the psychic I told you about?
0:15:06 > 0:15:08Psychic, my arse! Con man, you mean?
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Mammy, he's not a con man.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13He's a con man, or a charlatan or a feckin' nutcase!
0:15:13 > 0:15:15And he's...he's in my fuckin' sitting room!
0:15:15 > 0:15:17LAUGHTER
0:15:19 > 0:15:20Did he hear me?
0:15:20 > 0:15:22We all heard ya!
0:15:22 > 0:15:23Why didn't you fuckin' tell me?
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Oh!
0:15:28 > 0:15:29LAUGHTER
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Aargh, aargh!
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Hello, how do you do?
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Mrs Brown, I don't know how much Rory has told you.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Do you not? And you're supposed to be a psychic!
0:15:44 > 0:15:46LAUGHTER
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Well, he asked me to come here tonight to try
0:15:48 > 0:15:51and contact your late husband, Redser.
0:15:51 > 0:15:52Not going to happen, love.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Mumbo jumbo, the whole feckin' lot of it, mumbo jumbo!
0:15:55 > 0:15:56That is a shame, Mrs Brown,
0:15:56 > 0:15:59because you're much admired in the spirit world.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02Much loved as a mother, but I won't waste your time.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06Well, I mean, seeing as how you're here,
0:16:06 > 0:16:09we could always have a short go.
0:16:09 > 0:16:10Are you sure?
0:16:10 > 0:16:13Well, I don't want to disappoint my fans in the spirit world.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19Let me dim the lights.
0:16:19 > 0:16:20MRS BROWN LAUGHS
0:16:20 > 0:16:24It's not the London Palladium, love. On or off, take your fuckin' pick.
0:16:24 > 0:16:25LAUGHTER
0:16:27 > 0:16:29- Off.- Rory, get the lights.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Rory, come to the light.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39LAUGHTER
0:16:42 > 0:16:43Sorry.
0:16:43 > 0:16:48Now, can we all... Please, can we all just hold hands?
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Who's that beside me?
0:16:53 > 0:16:54It's me, Agnes.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58Agnes, that's not my hand you're holding.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01LAUGHTER
0:17:07 > 0:17:11Now, I want us all to close our eyes
0:17:11 > 0:17:15and concentrate on those who are no longer with us.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Close your eyes!
0:17:22 > 0:17:23You close your eyes!
0:17:23 > 0:17:26I'll close my eyes when you close yours. Now, close your eyes!
0:17:26 > 0:17:28What are you now, the eye inspector?
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Close your buckin'...
0:17:30 > 0:17:31Aargh!
0:17:36 > 0:17:38- What the...- Is he all right?
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Never mind him, I just wet me knickers!
0:17:40 > 0:17:42LAUGHTER
0:17:42 > 0:17:46I sense... I sense a presence in this house.
0:17:46 > 0:17:51Somebody who refuses to pass over to the spirit world.
0:17:51 > 0:17:52That's you, Grandad!
0:17:52 > 0:17:54LAUGHTER
0:17:54 > 0:17:56- Mammy!- Sorry.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59Speak to us. Is there anyone out there?
0:17:59 > 0:18:00Speak to us!
0:18:00 > 0:18:02SOMEONE BREAKS WIND
0:18:02 > 0:18:04LAUGHTER
0:18:05 > 0:18:07That was definitely you, Grandad!
0:18:08 > 0:18:11Agnes, it's me!
0:18:11 > 0:18:14It's your husband, Redser.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16I don't believe it!
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Even in the spirit world, he's pissed!
0:18:18 > 0:18:20LAUGHTER
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Mammy, don't give him such a hard time!
0:18:23 > 0:18:26Agnes, do you miss me?
0:18:28 > 0:18:29Mammy!
0:18:29 > 0:18:30I'm fuckin' thinking.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33LAUGHTER
0:18:33 > 0:18:34I'm off, so...
0:18:34 > 0:18:37No, Daddy, don't go.
0:18:37 > 0:18:38Who's that? Who's that?
0:18:38 > 0:18:42It's your daughter, Cathy. And Rory's here, as well.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Hiya, Daddy!
0:18:44 > 0:18:45Ah, Rory!
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Have you found yourself a nice little wife?
0:18:48 > 0:18:50What?
0:18:51 > 0:18:54Boyfriend, and his name is Dino.
0:18:54 > 0:18:58Ah, good for you, Cathy, and give my love to the rest of the family.
0:18:58 > 0:19:02Give it to Mark and Trevor and Dermot and Liam...
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Who the fuck is Liam?
0:19:04 > 0:19:05LAUGHTER
0:19:05 > 0:19:09I'd better go now, but I'll see you soon, Agnes.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Yeah, right, goodbye... Wait!
0:19:11 > 0:19:13What do you mean soon? How soon?
0:19:13 > 0:19:15Agnes, they're telling me up here
0:19:15 > 0:19:18that I'll be reunited with my loved one
0:19:18 > 0:19:22tomorrow night at 11 o'clock.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Tell me this is some kind of feckin' joke!
0:19:27 > 0:19:29I gotta go!
0:19:31 > 0:19:32I think he's fuckin' gone!
0:19:32 > 0:19:34LAUGHTER
0:19:34 > 0:19:37Redser, Redser! Redser!
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Cathy, get the light. Red...
0:19:39 > 0:19:40Hello?
0:19:40 > 0:19:42He fuckin' hung up.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44LAUGHTER
0:19:46 > 0:19:48Did you hear that, Rory? Did you hear that?
0:19:48 > 0:19:51It's terrible! He thought Cathy was married to Dino!
0:19:51 > 0:19:52Not that!
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Oh, yeah, right.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56But, Mammy, I thought you didn't believe in any of that stuff.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59You're right, I don't. I don't believe in that crap!
0:19:59 > 0:20:00Of course not, Mrs Brown.
0:20:00 > 0:20:04I mean, nobody actually believes you're going to die at 11 o'clock tomorrow night.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS
0:20:06 > 0:20:08LAUGHTER
0:20:08 > 0:20:10CLOCK TICKS
0:20:11 > 0:20:14OK, folks, 2/1 she croaks. 2/1!
0:20:15 > 0:20:172/1, they're good odds.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20LAUGHTER
0:20:21 > 0:20:24Free crabs, get your free crabs! Free...
0:20:28 > 0:20:30PEOPLE GASP
0:20:31 > 0:20:32I tripped.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34LAUGHTER
0:20:38 > 0:20:41If what Jimmy Gennochi says is true,
0:20:41 > 0:20:45I'm going to die in five minutes.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47No, you're not.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50That clock is fast.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52LAUGHTER
0:20:52 > 0:20:54It's 20 minutes.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57Oh, no, wait... Me watch has stopped.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59It is five minutes.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Four and a quarter.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Winnie, spare me the fuckin' countdown.
0:21:06 > 0:21:07LAUGHTER
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Probably not going to die at all, Agnes.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11I'm not going to die.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13I mean, you're not that old.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14I'm not that old.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16- You seem in good shape. - I'm in great shape.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18- And Foley's is a safe place to be. - It is a safe place to...
0:21:18 > 0:21:20GLASS SHATTERS
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Sorry!
0:21:23 > 0:21:26You know, I know I'm not going to die.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Cos if I was going to die, my whole family would be here tonight.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31LAUGHTER
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Exactly. How could you possibly die?
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Yeah.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38Unless from a heart attack or a stroke, or a brain haemorrhage,
0:21:38 > 0:21:40which is basically a stroke.
0:21:40 > 0:21:41Winnie!
0:21:41 > 0:21:42Sorry!
0:21:42 > 0:21:45I'm just making the point that we never know
0:21:45 > 0:21:48when death is going to tap us on the shoulder.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50Or maybe this whole thing is a big feckin' mistake?
0:21:50 > 0:21:51Aargh!
0:21:52 > 0:21:53Is she gone?
0:21:53 > 0:21:55- ALL:- No!
0:21:55 > 0:21:57Can I have a word with you, Mrs Brown?
0:21:57 > 0:21:59Make it a quick one, son.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01LAUGHTER
0:22:01 > 0:22:02Winnie, get me a pint.
0:22:02 > 0:22:06Well, I'll get you half a pint, Agnes.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Pint it is.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13- I just want to thank you for letting me stay.- Fine.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16- And being so understanding! - Yeah, whatever.
0:22:16 > 0:22:20And, Dino, you don't have to make that bed every day, really.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22It looks like you haven't even slept in it.
0:22:23 > 0:22:24I haven't.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26What do you mean? Where do you sleep?
0:22:26 > 0:22:27In Rory's bed.
0:22:27 > 0:22:28And where does Rory sleep?
0:22:30 > 0:22:32In Rory's bed. We sleep together.
0:22:34 > 0:22:35LAUGHTER
0:22:35 > 0:22:36Aargh!
0:22:36 > 0:22:38PEOPLE GASP
0:22:38 > 0:22:39I'm fine.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41- ALL:- Oh, for fuck's sake!
0:22:41 > 0:22:43It's just a shock, I'm fine.
0:22:44 > 0:22:45Where's the body?
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Too early!
0:22:47 > 0:22:49LAUGHTER
0:22:49 > 0:22:52CLOCK CHIMES
0:22:56 > 0:22:58LAUGHTER
0:22:58 > 0:23:01Please don't take me yet, Lord.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04I know this is the time
0:23:04 > 0:23:07when Redser is to be reunited with his loved one.
0:23:07 > 0:23:08Aargh!
0:23:09 > 0:23:13His loved one! The bastard!
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Aargh!
0:23:16 > 0:23:18The double bastard!
0:23:18 > 0:23:19Aargh!
0:23:20 > 0:23:22The triple bastard!
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Aargh!
0:23:24 > 0:23:25LAUGHTER
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Well, that explains Rory!
0:23:30 > 0:23:31Crabs?
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Yes.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Apparently Mr Foley gave away the crabs that he didn't sell
0:23:35 > 0:23:37during the crab festival.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40Seven cases of food poisoning. Pretty bad, too.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42I'm just glad I'm alive.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Come on, let's go and see Grandad's health inspector.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Be gentle with him, he tends to get confused.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53- I'll leave you, Doctor. - Thank you, Doctor.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55- Thank you, Doctor. - Goodbye, Doctor.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57- Goodbye, Doctor. - Goodbye, Doctor.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00It's like buckin' Holby City in here.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02LAUGHTER
0:24:02 > 0:24:03You need not be anxious, Grandad.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Nobody's going to make you uncomfortable.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09I'm glad to hear that, cos he's been a bit jumpy lately.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Aargh! Alien! It's an alien!
0:24:13 > 0:24:15LAUGHTER
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Grandad, do you know who that is behind me?
0:24:24 > 0:24:26LAUGHTER
0:24:26 > 0:24:27Frankenstein.
0:24:29 > 0:24:33You know, this might be better if I spoke to Grandad without you here.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37I'll be upstairs. I have his bag ready, just in case.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Alien! Alien!
0:24:42 > 0:24:44LAUGHTER
0:24:46 > 0:24:50Now, Grandad, I just want you to relax,
0:24:50 > 0:24:52while I ask you some questions.
0:24:52 > 0:24:53Don't shoot me!
0:24:54 > 0:24:57What is the highest mountain in the world?
0:24:57 > 0:24:59I know this one.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02The Amazon.
0:25:03 > 0:25:04Everest.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06No, it's the Amazon.
0:25:08 > 0:25:13Grandad, the head of the British Royal Family is Queen...?
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Jemima!
0:25:15 > 0:25:17LAUGHTER
0:25:17 > 0:25:18Sorry, don't mind me.
0:25:18 > 0:25:22Actually, why don't you sit down and join us?
0:25:22 > 0:25:23Oh, thank you.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Now, Grandad, who is the black singer
0:25:28 > 0:25:30famous for the moonwalk?
0:25:30 > 0:25:31Jackson.
0:25:31 > 0:25:32Neil Armstrong.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Question four...
0:25:41 > 0:25:44LAUGHTER
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Question 20.
0:25:47 > 0:25:52In the Bible, what was the name of Joseph the carpenter's
0:25:52 > 0:25:55very famous, mystical son?
0:25:57 > 0:25:59A carpenter, you say?
0:26:00 > 0:26:02Mystical son's name.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06I have it. Pinocchio!
0:26:06 > 0:26:08LAUGHTER
0:26:14 > 0:26:15DOOR CLOSES
0:26:15 > 0:26:17MRS BROWN LAUGHS
0:26:18 > 0:26:20That's him gone for a couple of weeks!
0:26:21 > 0:26:23LAUGHTER
0:26:23 > 0:26:25What the fuck are you doing here?
0:26:25 > 0:26:28And where's Winnie? I thought I heard Winnie down here.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Where did you get all that money?
0:26:31 > 0:26:33I had a tenner on you to live.
0:26:37 > 0:26:38Each way!
0:26:38 > 0:26:41LAUGHTER
0:26:44 > 0:26:47Do you know, I learn something new every day.
0:26:47 > 0:26:51For instance, you should never judge anything, never mind a book,
0:26:51 > 0:26:54by its cover.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56I thought that psychic was the real thing.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59But he's not, I'm alive!
0:26:59 > 0:27:02And I thought Rory was cheating on me with Hillary
0:27:02 > 0:27:04and he wasn't.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08And the health tester thought Winnie was off her rocker
0:27:08 > 0:27:10and she's not... Well, not much.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12LAUGHTER
0:27:12 > 0:27:14And gambling is a mug's game.
0:27:15 > 0:27:19Right, I'm off for me week to the Galway Races!
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Are you coming or what?
0:27:24 > 0:27:26LAUGHTER
0:27:26 > 0:27:28APPLAUSE
0:27:30 > 0:27:32Good night!
0:27:32 > 0:27:36# Say hello to the queen of Dublin town
0:27:37 > 0:27:42# As the best mum of all She wears the crown
0:27:44 > 0:27:47# Mother hen watching all her chicks
0:27:47 > 0:27:50# Sassy old lady, full of tricks
0:27:50 > 0:27:55# It's a safe bet she'd never let life get her down
0:27:56 > 0:27:59- # She's Mrs Brown - Agnes
0:27:59 > 0:28:01- # That's Mrs Brown - Agnes
0:28:01 > 0:28:03# Our Mrs Brown. #