Mammy?

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0:00:02 > 0:00:10This programme contains some strong language and adult humour.

0:00:12 > 0:00:15Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys.

0:00:15 > 0:00:18- # She's Mrs Brown - Agnes

0:00:18 > 0:00:21- # That's Mrs Brown - Agnes

0:00:21 > 0:00:23# Oh, Mrs Brown. #

0:00:27 > 0:00:30Sharon has the day off. Just sitting over there.

0:00:30 > 0:00:32Says she's bored.

0:00:32 > 0:00:35Huh! In my day we didn't know what the word bored meant.

0:00:35 > 0:00:37Couldn't afford a dictionary?

0:00:47 > 0:00:48Where did you get that?

0:00:48 > 0:00:50Sharon got it.

0:00:50 > 0:00:53I'm doing me hall up and I thought I might find nice colours in there.

0:00:56 > 0:00:57The only colour you'll

0:00:57 > 0:00:59find in there is blue.

0:00:59 > 0:01:00That's all about sex.

0:01:02 > 0:01:05Agnes, do you ever think about sex?

0:01:05 > 0:01:08No, I'm way past that, Winnie.

0:01:08 > 0:01:11My legs have been together now longer than the Rolling Stones.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14Yeah, with the big lips.

0:01:19 > 0:01:22Agnes, what if the Hokey Cokey is what it's all about?

0:01:27 > 0:01:30Do you know, Winnie, everybody needs a friend like you.

0:01:30 > 0:01:34Ah, Agnes. We'll be friends until we're old and senile.

0:01:34 > 0:01:37That's right, Winnie. Then every day we'll be new friends.

0:01:42 > 0:01:45Ah, hello, Mrs McGoogan. Oh, I like the book.

0:01:45 > 0:01:48I believe that's a real, "Get up there, Nelly," book?

0:01:48 > 0:01:51I'd better get over and say, "Get up there, Sharon."

0:01:51 > 0:01:52See you, Agnes.

0:01:52 > 0:01:54See you, Winnie.

0:01:54 > 0:01:56- So what do you want? - Dermot told me to meet him here.

0:01:56 > 0:01:59- He said he might have some work for me.- What's in the box?

0:01:59 > 0:02:02It wouldn't be my new kitchen, would it?

0:02:04 > 0:02:05No.

0:02:08 > 0:02:11It's a new phone. Dermot's looking for a smartphone.

0:02:11 > 0:02:12Top of the range.

0:02:12 > 0:02:14Why have you got the black tape on the sides of it?

0:02:14 > 0:02:17Oh, I have to cover up the name. It's BBC rules.

0:02:19 > 0:02:22But it's very obvious from the box that it's an iPhone 4S.

0:02:26 > 0:02:30Buster, are you trying to unload stolen goods on my son?

0:02:30 > 0:02:31Would I do that?

0:02:31 > 0:02:34- Yes.- Mrs Brown, that's very hurtful.

0:02:34 > 0:02:37I have feelings, I'm not a rock.

0:02:37 > 0:02:39You're not even a feckin' pebble.

0:02:41 > 0:02:43Buster, did you ever have a job?

0:02:43 > 0:02:46I mean a real job, a REAL job?

0:02:46 > 0:02:47Yeah, I was store security.

0:02:50 > 0:02:54You know, looking out for shoplifters down at McCullagh Pickets.

0:02:54 > 0:02:56Who sell grand pianos.

0:02:56 > 0:02:57I know, it was a handy job.

0:02:59 > 0:03:00Why did you leave?

0:03:00 > 0:03:02I couldn't work for that man after what he said to me.

0:03:02 > 0:03:03Why, son, what did he say to you?

0:03:03 > 0:03:05You're fired.

0:03:10 > 0:03:13I could smell you before I'd seen you.

0:03:13 > 0:03:16That's the first time I've heard that today.

0:03:16 > 0:03:18Here, the one you were looking for.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20Just put your SIM card in there and it's ready to go.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22Brilliant. Thanks, Buster.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24Dermot, is that above board?

0:03:24 > 0:03:25Mammy, will you stop worrying?

0:03:25 > 0:03:28With that fecker involved, I'd always worry.

0:03:30 > 0:03:32So, Buster, do you fancy doing a bit of work?

0:03:32 > 0:03:33Yeah, sure, when?

0:03:33 > 0:03:35Now, let's get down to the office, get kitted out.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39If I'm an air freshener, I want to be vanilla.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41Shut up, Buster. See you, Ma.

0:03:41 > 0:03:42Good luck.

0:03:44 > 0:03:45Hello there.

0:03:45 > 0:03:50Well, as you can see, I'm still waiting on my new kitchen.

0:03:50 > 0:03:53I don't know what's wrong with me today? I feel uneasy.

0:03:53 > 0:03:55Do you know that feeling you get

0:03:55 > 0:03:58when you just know something is going to happen?

0:03:59 > 0:04:02Rory and Dino have moved in together into a new apartment.

0:04:02 > 0:04:05Oh, they seem blissfully happy.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07HE SOBS

0:04:10 > 0:04:11Though I could be fuckin' wrong.

0:04:13 > 0:04:15Rory, what's wrong? Sit down.

0:04:18 > 0:04:20What happened, did you break a nail?

0:04:20 > 0:04:25Come on, Rory, don't be getting upset. Tell us what's wrong?

0:04:25 > 0:04:27Is it you and Dino?

0:04:27 > 0:04:30What happened? Did he cut your fuckin' tongue out?

0:04:31 > 0:04:32Mammy!

0:04:32 > 0:04:36Well, what's the point in educating a child if he speaks to you with...

0:04:36 > 0:04:38Speak!

0:04:41 > 0:04:43Mammy, can I stay here for a couple of days?

0:04:43 > 0:04:47My apartment is ruined. I'll have to get new carpets and all.

0:04:47 > 0:04:49Why, love, what happened?

0:04:49 > 0:04:51Me and Dino had a row.

0:04:51 > 0:04:53Oh, for God's sake.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55I walked out and when I came back he was gone

0:04:55 > 0:04:58and he'd destroyed the apartment.

0:04:58 > 0:04:59Destroyed it?

0:04:59 > 0:05:02He even pulled the radiator off the wall.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04The whole place was flooded.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06Mark is over there now trying to fix it.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08But I have to get new carpets.

0:05:08 > 0:05:09Well, a row is one thing

0:05:09 > 0:05:12but there's no need for that kind of violence.

0:05:12 > 0:05:15Rory, love, of course you can stay here.

0:05:15 > 0:05:17You go up and have a nice hot bath, love,

0:05:17 > 0:05:21put some Fairy liquid in it, make it nice and bubbly.

0:05:21 > 0:05:22I'll make you a cup of tea, love.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24- Thanks, Mammy.- All right.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27What the hell is Dino playing at?

0:05:27 > 0:05:30I don't know? Poor Rory.

0:05:30 > 0:05:32And when I see him, poor fuckin' Dino!

0:05:36 > 0:05:40OK, Mr Campbell, I'll tell her when she comes in. Bye.

0:05:42 > 0:05:44Hi, you two.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46Hiya, Cathy. Is your mother home from the market yet?

0:05:46 > 0:05:49- Not yet, any minute though. - We'll call back later, so...

0:05:49 > 0:05:54No, Mark, we're waiting. Putting it off won't make it any easier.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57This came in this morning.

0:05:57 > 0:05:59We've been granted our visas for Australia.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01Oh, that's fantastic! Congratulations!

0:06:01 > 0:06:04Yeah, great. Right, we'll go then.

0:06:04 > 0:06:06Cathy, will you tell Mammy, so?

0:06:08 > 0:06:10Stop it, Mark, we're waiting.

0:06:11 > 0:06:15Hello, you two. What brings you here so early?

0:06:15 > 0:06:17Mark, why don't you go in the sitting room with your mother

0:06:17 > 0:06:20- for a private chat?- Come on, Ma.

0:06:20 > 0:06:22It's not my book, I just got a lend of it.

0:06:25 > 0:06:29Oh, God, she's been dreading this day.

0:06:29 > 0:06:32I know. Cathy, can you do me a favour?

0:06:32 > 0:06:34- If I can. - Do you have a printer at work?

0:06:34 > 0:06:36Yeah, sure.

0:06:36 > 0:06:38What is it, Mark? Is it something about Bono?

0:06:38 > 0:06:39No, Ma, Bono's fine.

0:06:39 > 0:06:42Thank God, I thought you were going to give me bad news...

0:06:42 > 0:06:46Mammy, I got my visa for Australia. We all did.

0:06:46 > 0:06:47Myself, Betty and Bono.

0:06:48 > 0:06:50We can go within the next six weeks.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54Wonderful.

0:06:54 > 0:06:55Congratulations.

0:06:55 > 0:06:58A new life, a new beginning.

0:06:58 > 0:07:00It's fantastic.

0:07:00 > 0:07:02Cathy, did they tell you?

0:07:02 > 0:07:04They got them, the visas for Australia.

0:07:04 > 0:07:07They got them. Congratulations.

0:07:07 > 0:07:10Jesus, Ma, I thought you'd be upset.

0:07:10 > 0:07:12Well, I'm not going to say I'd be thrilled to see you going

0:07:12 > 0:07:15but you have to do whatever's right for your family.

0:07:15 > 0:07:18I'm delighted for yous, both of yous.

0:07:18 > 0:07:21Especially you, Betty, cos I know it was all your idea.

0:07:22 > 0:07:25We should be going. Thanks for doing that, Cathy.

0:07:25 > 0:07:27No problem, Betty, I'll get it done.

0:07:27 > 0:07:29I suppose you'll want to start packing?

0:07:29 > 0:07:30I've already started.

0:07:30 > 0:07:32Of course you have.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34Mammy, there was a phone call for you.

0:07:34 > 0:07:38A Mr Campbell, Kirby & Campbell Solicitors.

0:07:38 > 0:07:41- Oh, all right. - Solicitors? What's that about?

0:07:41 > 0:07:42Nothing. Nothing important.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44- PHONE RINGS - I'll get that!

0:07:46 > 0:07:49Hello? How do you do?

0:07:49 > 0:07:51Hello, Mr Campbell. Yes, I...

0:07:53 > 0:07:55Just one moment, please.

0:08:06 > 0:08:07TOGETHER: Uh-oh.

0:08:16 > 0:08:17PHONE RINGS

0:08:17 > 0:08:20I'll get that.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22Cathy, answer that glistening love rod.

0:08:25 > 0:08:29Hello? Yes, this is Cathy Brown.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33Oh, thanks for calling me back.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36I was looking for some information on a solicitors company,

0:08:36 > 0:08:37Kirby & Campbell?

0:08:39 > 0:08:41I was wondering what it is they specialise in?

0:08:41 > 0:08:43DOORBELL

0:08:43 > 0:08:44Door, Mammy.

0:09:01 > 0:09:05Well, if it isn't the bally bunion butcher! Come in.

0:09:10 > 0:09:11You have a cheek calling over here.

0:09:11 > 0:09:12Is Rory here?

0:09:12 > 0:09:15He's upstairs but I don't think he wants to speak to you.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17I just want to apologise.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19I don't think an apology will cut it this time, Dino.

0:09:19 > 0:09:20Oh!

0:09:23 > 0:09:24How could you be so rough?

0:09:24 > 0:09:26Oh!

0:09:28 > 0:09:30My Rory is such a gentle soul.

0:09:30 > 0:09:31Oh!

0:09:33 > 0:09:35There's no need for that vandalism.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37- Vandalism?- Vandalism!

0:09:37 > 0:09:40- Vandalism?- Vandalism! - I did nothing like that!

0:09:40 > 0:09:43Liar! You pulled the radiator off the wall,

0:09:43 > 0:09:45you flooded the whole feckin' apartment!

0:09:45 > 0:09:47- I had to!- You had to?

0:09:47 > 0:09:49Aye, he had me handcuffed to it.

0:09:58 > 0:09:59What the hell happened?

0:10:00 > 0:10:02I think I've killed her.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06- She's fine.- Oh, no!

0:10:13 > 0:10:14What's wrong, Cathy?

0:10:14 > 0:10:15Mammy fainted.

0:10:15 > 0:10:19No, Cathy, no, you look pale. Mammy's fainted before.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24I just found out about the solicitors

0:10:24 > 0:10:25who have been calling Mammy.

0:10:25 > 0:10:29- What about them? - They specialise in adoptions.

0:10:29 > 0:10:30GROANING

0:10:33 > 0:10:35Dermot, she's awake.

0:10:39 > 0:10:40Are you all right, Mammy?

0:10:47 > 0:10:50Adoptions? These solicitors Kirby & Campbell,

0:10:50 > 0:10:51they arrange adoptions?

0:10:51 > 0:10:53No, they track down adopted children

0:10:53 > 0:10:56from mothers who put them up for adoption years ago.

0:10:56 > 0:10:57What does that mean?

0:10:57 > 0:10:59That means that one of us could be adopted.

0:10:59 > 0:11:02Surely your mother would have told you? Wouldn't she?

0:11:02 > 0:11:04No!

0:11:04 > 0:11:06So which one of yous then?

0:11:06 > 0:11:09I suppose whichever one of us is the most different to the rest?

0:11:11 > 0:11:12Hiya.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17What?

0:11:17 > 0:11:20Come on, Betty, we'd better get out of here before Mammy comes back.

0:11:20 > 0:11:22She'll know we were talking about her.

0:11:22 > 0:11:24Yeah, us too.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27Come on, Dermot Brown or

0:11:27 > 0:11:29whoever you really are.

0:11:29 > 0:11:32Maria, that's not even a little bit funny.

0:11:32 > 0:11:33What's going on, Dermot?

0:11:33 > 0:11:34Cathy'll fill you in.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38For God's sake, Cathy, what is it?

0:11:38 > 0:11:40We think one of us is adopted.

0:11:40 > 0:11:44I knew it! I was born into a real rich family.

0:11:44 > 0:11:47And yous bastards kidnapped me!

0:11:49 > 0:11:52- DOORBELL - For God's sake, Rory!

0:11:52 > 0:11:54Does everything have to be a drama?

0:12:00 > 0:12:01Hello, Cathy.

0:12:01 > 0:12:04EASTENDERS DRUMS

0:12:17 > 0:12:22So you see, Cathy, I wasn't a married man just using you for a fling.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25I've been divorced a long time ago.

0:12:25 > 0:12:27But why didn't you just say that?

0:12:29 > 0:12:32I wanted to, but neither you nor your mother gave me a chance.

0:12:32 > 0:12:36Dermot's phone. I bet that's feckin' stolen.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39Mammy, look who's here.

0:12:39 > 0:12:40Detective Mick.

0:12:42 > 0:12:44Lets go in and say hello.

0:12:44 > 0:12:45DOORBELL

0:12:45 > 0:12:47I'll get it.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53Hello, Mrs Brown.

0:12:53 > 0:12:54I hope you have a warrant.

0:12:54 > 0:12:57You can't just walk in here looking for stolen phones.

0:12:57 > 0:13:00No, no, I'm not here on official business.

0:13:00 > 0:13:02- Stolen phones?- What? - You said stolen phones.

0:13:02 > 0:13:05- Who did?- You did, just now. You said stolen phones.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08- What?- Mammy, Father Quinn is back. Isn't that fantastic?

0:13:08 > 0:13:11Oh, fantastic! Hello, Father Quinn.

0:13:11 > 0:13:12Come in! Come in!

0:13:14 > 0:13:18Let's go for a drink, Mick. I want to hear the whole story.

0:13:25 > 0:13:27Now, Father, welcome back.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30How did reha...your holiday go?

0:13:32 > 0:13:35Sufficient to say that I had a good rest, Mrs Brown.

0:13:35 > 0:13:38- That's fantastic. Do you want me to pour you a drop?- No!

0:13:38 > 0:13:41I mean, no thank you, Mrs Brown.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43It's just great to have him back, Mrs Brown.

0:13:43 > 0:13:45The hospital say it was all caused by...

0:13:45 > 0:13:47You!

0:13:47 > 0:13:49Stress, Father. They said stress.

0:13:49 > 0:13:52Ah. Well, the drink couldn't have helped!

0:13:54 > 0:13:56I'm attending meetings now

0:13:56 > 0:14:01and one of the recommendations is that I am to confront my demons.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03So, I'm here.

0:14:09 > 0:14:11Well, what can I do for you, Father?

0:14:11 > 0:14:13- Oh, yes. Well...- Allow me, Father.

0:14:13 > 0:14:17Mrs Brown, as you may know Father Quinn's annual garden party

0:14:17 > 0:14:18is coming up shortly.

0:14:19 > 0:14:21Where's me phone?

0:14:22 > 0:14:25- Do you want me to ring it? - Yeah, will you?

0:14:28 > 0:14:31The garden party is a major fundraiser for meals on wheels.

0:14:31 > 0:14:32PHONE VIBRATES

0:14:37 > 0:14:41But it will also be my first event since I came back.

0:14:41 > 0:14:43PHONE VIBRATES

0:14:43 > 0:14:44And the Father's counsellor

0:14:44 > 0:14:46suggested that he invite you along to help.

0:14:46 > 0:14:49Sort of a re-baptism of fire so to speak.

0:14:49 > 0:14:50PHONE VIBRATES

0:14:51 > 0:14:53Hot! Hot fire!

0:14:54 > 0:14:58And indeed it is a very important gathering for the entire community.

0:14:58 > 0:14:59PHONE VIBRATES

0:15:00 > 0:15:04It gives friends and neighbours a chance to keep in touch.

0:15:04 > 0:15:05PHONE VIBRATES

0:15:05 > 0:15:08Touch! Touch! Oh, touch!

0:15:09 > 0:15:11PHONE VIBRATES

0:15:13 > 0:15:16It was ringing. Maybe you left it in the car.

0:15:16 > 0:15:18No, I walked here! Ring it again.

0:15:21 > 0:15:25Look, Father, I know how important Father Quinn's garden party is...

0:15:25 > 0:15:27PHONE VIBRATES

0:15:27 > 0:15:29I'll get to the point.

0:15:29 > 0:15:30I need volunteers on the day

0:15:30 > 0:15:33to help me give the parishioners a great day out.

0:15:33 > 0:15:37Now, I would never usually ask you...

0:15:39 > 0:15:42Mrs Brown, will you come along and help?

0:15:42 > 0:15:44Come along! Come along!

0:15:46 > 0:15:48This was a mistake, give me that bottle.

0:15:48 > 0:15:51No, Father, you mustn't! Just wait, Father.

0:15:51 > 0:15:52Mrs Brown, will you be coming?

0:15:52 > 0:15:55PHONE VIBRATES

0:15:57 > 0:16:02Yes! Yes! Yes!

0:16:04 > 0:16:05Yes!

0:16:18 > 0:16:20You look in good form.

0:16:20 > 0:16:21I am.

0:16:22 > 0:16:25- It's been a strange day. - Oh, me too.

0:16:25 > 0:16:27I had Father Quinn and Father Damien call

0:16:27 > 0:16:30asking me to volunteer to help at the garden party.

0:16:30 > 0:16:32They can feck off, Agnes!

0:16:32 > 0:16:35Eight hours on my feet in the cold.

0:16:35 > 0:16:38They asked me too. I volunteered.

0:16:38 > 0:16:41What? Ah, they must have seen you coming.

0:16:48 > 0:16:51It's only one day.

0:16:51 > 0:16:52Somebody has to do it.

0:16:52 > 0:16:54Well, I suppose.

0:16:54 > 0:16:57Here, I see Mick the Dick is back on the scene.

0:16:59 > 0:17:00He dropped in out of the blue.

0:17:00 > 0:17:05Cathy said he explained everything and now, oh, he's so sensitive(!)

0:17:05 > 0:17:08Aren't they all. Especially around the top.

0:17:13 > 0:17:15Emotionally.

0:17:17 > 0:17:19My Redser had only two emotions.

0:17:19 > 0:17:20Horny and hungry.

0:17:22 > 0:17:25Every time he got an erection I made him a sandwich.

0:17:27 > 0:17:28Here, same again, pet?

0:17:28 > 0:17:30Yes, love.

0:17:32 > 0:17:36You know, Rory, I'm so sorry we even had that fight.

0:17:36 > 0:17:37I am too.

0:17:37 > 0:17:41I woke up and you weren't beside me and I didn't like it.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43Well, I'll be there tomorrow, so don't you worry.

0:17:43 > 0:17:47I'd much prefer it if you were legally obliged to be there.

0:17:49 > 0:17:52Dino Doyle, are you proposing to me?

0:17:57 > 0:17:59Hiya, Ma.

0:17:59 > 0:18:00Hello, son.

0:18:00 > 0:18:01Ma, can I ask you something?

0:18:01 > 0:18:03Sure.

0:18:03 > 0:18:04Do I look like Daddy?

0:18:04 > 0:18:05Jesus, no, not a bit.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12Your father used to take you out for a walk and people used to go

0:18:12 > 0:18:13"Oh, is he adopted?"

0:18:16 > 0:18:17- Adopted?- Yes!

0:18:18 > 0:18:21No, love, no, you're the image of my father.

0:18:21 > 0:18:25- Really?- Oh, yes, son. You're the spit of him.

0:18:25 > 0:18:26I knew it the day you were born.

0:18:26 > 0:18:29I held you up, I even put a fag in your mouth to be sure.

0:18:31 > 0:18:32See you later, Ma.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38Cathy, it's not me. I'm not adopted.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43Mammy, I have some amazing news for you.

0:18:43 > 0:18:45What, Rory?

0:18:45 > 0:18:46I'm getting married.

0:18:51 > 0:18:54Are you sure? I mean, Rory, have you thought this through?

0:18:54 > 0:18:55Yes, Mammy.

0:18:55 > 0:18:58I've never been more sure of anything in my whole life.

0:18:58 > 0:19:00Oh, well then I'm delighted for you.

0:19:00 > 0:19:01Ah, thanks, Mammy!

0:19:04 > 0:19:07There you go, pet. What's up with Rory?

0:19:07 > 0:19:09He's getting married.

0:19:09 > 0:19:12That's fantastic. Are you delighted?

0:19:12 > 0:19:14Kind of.

0:19:14 > 0:19:17I'm dreading what will happen when he tells Dino.

0:19:19 > 0:19:22- Crisps!- Ah, shite.

0:19:29 > 0:19:32This is your life.

0:19:32 > 0:19:33What's that?

0:19:33 > 0:19:36It's my photo album, Mammy. I was just looking through it.

0:19:36 > 0:19:39And do you know what I noticed when I was looking at this?

0:19:39 > 0:19:42- There are no baby photos of me. - Really?

0:19:42 > 0:19:45- None at all.- None?- Not even one.

0:19:45 > 0:19:46Jesus, that's odd.

0:19:46 > 0:19:47Now, why would that be?

0:19:49 > 0:19:50Maybe you were an ugly baby?

0:19:52 > 0:19:54I'm only joking.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56Do you know, I'm a shocking mother, Cathy.

0:19:56 > 0:19:58You were my fourth child in four years.

0:19:58 > 0:20:01I was in labour longer than feckin' Harold Wilson!

0:20:03 > 0:20:06I had a house full of kids, a house full of shitty nappies

0:20:06 > 0:20:07and an alcoholic husband.

0:20:07 > 0:20:11Why wasn't I running around going "Where's my fuckin' camera?"

0:20:13 > 0:20:16Sometimes I don't feel I'm part of this family.

0:20:16 > 0:20:19And sometimes you act like you're not.

0:20:21 > 0:20:23"'What's your name,' he said.

0:20:23 > 0:20:25"'Mmph, mmph, mmph,' she said."

0:20:29 > 0:20:31They all lived happily ever after.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35Hello, Granny.

0:20:35 > 0:20:39Hello, Bono. Look at you, big boy, all dressed up for school.

0:20:39 > 0:20:41- Guess what?- What?

0:20:41 > 0:20:43I'm not going to Australia.

0:20:43 > 0:20:44Oh, Bono, don't start that again.

0:20:44 > 0:20:47You are going. You have to go with your Mammy and your Daddy.

0:20:47 > 0:20:50What would they do in Australia without you?

0:20:50 > 0:20:51They're not going either.

0:20:51 > 0:20:53- They are, son.- No, we're not, Ma.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56- What?- Betty got these printed.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58'Mark Brown and Son, Carpenters.'

0:20:58 > 0:21:00I put them around the houses in the area.

0:21:00 > 0:21:03And more work for Mark than he can handle. We can afford to stay.

0:21:03 > 0:21:04That's fantastic!

0:21:04 > 0:21:05See, I told you, Granny.

0:21:05 > 0:21:07That's great!

0:21:07 > 0:21:09Can I go upstairs and play with Grandad's teeth?

0:21:09 > 0:21:11Of course you can. Off you go.

0:21:11 > 0:21:13Yes!

0:21:13 > 0:21:15Here, you, you're going to school. No time for playing.

0:21:15 > 0:21:17Go and wait in the car.

0:21:19 > 0:21:22Sorry to intrude. Today's the day we start the kitchen.

0:21:22 > 0:21:25Buster, Mammy doesn't need you.

0:21:25 > 0:21:26I'll be doing the kitchen.

0:21:26 > 0:21:28But what about compensation?

0:21:28 > 0:21:29What about this?

0:21:29 > 0:21:32- You go away and I wont shove that toolbox up your...- Mark!

0:21:34 > 0:21:35That sounds good to me.

0:21:37 > 0:21:40Mark, do you want to buy a toolbox?

0:21:40 > 0:21:41Never used.

0:21:41 > 0:21:42- No.- Fair enough.

0:21:44 > 0:21:46Right, we'd better go too, Ma. See you later.

0:21:46 > 0:21:48- See you, love.- Bye, Mrs Brown.

0:21:48 > 0:21:50Betty.

0:21:50 > 0:21:51Thank you.

0:21:55 > 0:21:57DOORBELL RINGS

0:22:00 > 0:22:04They're not going to Australia! They're not going to Australia!

0:22:07 > 0:22:08Hello, Dino. Come in.

0:22:08 > 0:22:10Thank you, Mrs Brown.

0:22:13 > 0:22:15I'm glad you called over, Dino.

0:22:15 > 0:22:17I just wanted to say how sorry I am.

0:22:21 > 0:22:22Sorry? About what?

0:22:24 > 0:22:26About Rory not being gay anymore.

0:22:26 > 0:22:29- He's not gay?- No.

0:22:29 > 0:22:32And I don't know if he's told you but he's getting married.

0:22:32 > 0:22:33I know. To me.

0:22:33 > 0:22:36So what you should do now is you need...

0:22:38 > 0:22:40I beg your pardon?

0:22:40 > 0:22:43Rory and I are getting married to each other.

0:22:43 > 0:22:45I don't think you can do that, son.

0:22:45 > 0:22:48Oh, we can and we are.

0:22:48 > 0:22:51I need time to think about this.

0:22:51 > 0:22:52Rory's not here.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54I know. Actually I came to see you.

0:22:54 > 0:22:57Me? Mother of the bri...

0:22:58 > 0:23:00Mother of the groo...

0:23:00 > 0:23:03Rory's mother?

0:23:03 > 0:23:04What's on your mind?

0:23:04 > 0:23:07I don't know how to ask this. It's very delicate.

0:23:08 > 0:23:10Dino, you're marrying my son.

0:23:10 > 0:23:13He handcuffs you to the radiator.

0:23:13 > 0:23:14You probably lick his 99.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19What the fuck could be delicate?

0:23:21 > 0:23:22I suppose.

0:23:23 > 0:23:26Rory is beginning to doubt his pedigree.

0:23:26 > 0:23:29He has parentage concerns.

0:23:29 > 0:23:30Who sired him?

0:23:30 > 0:23:32Does he even belong to this litter?

0:23:33 > 0:23:36Dino, either we do this in English or you can fuck off.

0:23:38 > 0:23:40Is Rory adopted?

0:23:40 > 0:23:42Adopted? Don't be ridiculous.

0:23:42 > 0:23:45Oh, thank God. Oh, he'll be so relieved.

0:23:45 > 0:23:47I'm sorry if I upset you by bringing it up.

0:23:47 > 0:23:50Do I look upset? Not at all, son.

0:23:50 > 0:23:53Actually I think it's quite sweet.

0:23:53 > 0:23:56Time comes when we all need somebody to stand up for us.

0:23:56 > 0:23:58I'm glad Rory has you.

0:23:58 > 0:23:59HE MOUTHS: Thank you.

0:24:01 > 0:24:02- SHE MOUTHS:- OK.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07You're a good boy.

0:24:07 > 0:24:09Now, fuck off and be good somewhere else.

0:24:12 > 0:24:13Dino?

0:24:13 > 0:24:15Why would Rory think he's adopted?

0:24:15 > 0:24:18Well, apparently Cathy and Mark overheard you on the phone

0:24:18 > 0:24:22to some solicitor and they're convinced one of them is adopted.

0:24:25 > 0:24:26Overheard?

0:24:28 > 0:24:30Serves them fuckin' right.

0:24:33 > 0:24:35Hiya, Mammy!

0:24:35 > 0:24:37Hello, love.

0:24:37 > 0:24:38Are you all right?

0:24:39 > 0:24:41Fine.

0:24:46 > 0:24:49I had a very interesting conversation today

0:24:49 > 0:24:50with Dino about Rory.

0:24:50 > 0:24:51Really?

0:24:51 > 0:24:55You wont believe it. Rory thought he was adopted.

0:24:55 > 0:24:57Oh, really?

0:24:57 > 0:25:00Where would he get an idea like that?

0:25:00 > 0:25:01God only knows.

0:25:09 > 0:25:11Cathy, you're not adopted.

0:25:11 > 0:25:12I'm not?

0:25:12 > 0:25:14No, you feckin' eejit!

0:25:16 > 0:25:17Well, who is then?

0:25:17 > 0:25:19None of yous!

0:25:19 > 0:25:23That firm of solicitors handles other stuff as well, you know.

0:25:23 > 0:25:25I didn't want to worry you and Mark.

0:25:26 > 0:25:29The company your father works for,

0:25:29 > 0:25:32they're trying to cut his widow's pension.

0:25:32 > 0:25:35They said that they're having an economic downturn.

0:25:35 > 0:25:38But your father died 25 years ago. He didn't fuckin' cause it!

0:25:40 > 0:25:44They're representing the union, they wanted papers. That's all.

0:25:44 > 0:25:46- Sorry.- And so you should be.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48Rory was terrified.

0:25:48 > 0:25:50And Mark too.

0:25:50 > 0:25:51I must talk to him.

0:25:51 > 0:25:53Oh, you should(!)

0:25:53 > 0:25:56We wouldn't want one of your sons upset now, would we?

0:25:56 > 0:25:57No, we wouldn't.

0:25:57 > 0:25:58Excuse me, Miss!

0:26:00 > 0:26:02Do you believe I think more of my boys than I do of you?

0:26:02 > 0:26:04I know it!

0:26:04 > 0:26:06Do you now?

0:26:06 > 0:26:09Well, let me tell you something I know, Missy.

0:26:09 > 0:26:12Your son is your son till he takes a wife.

0:26:12 > 0:26:14Your daughter's your daughter all your life.

0:26:16 > 0:26:17Good night, Mammy.

0:26:19 > 0:26:21Good night.

0:26:23 > 0:26:26Life is all about relationships.

0:26:26 > 0:26:29Mark is not going to Australia, but, if he did,

0:26:29 > 0:26:32would the distance between us make him less my son? No.

0:26:32 > 0:26:35And Cathy has decided to forgive Mick.

0:26:35 > 0:26:38Is that the right thing to do? I don't know.

0:26:38 > 0:26:40Kieran, come on.

0:26:40 > 0:26:42Kieran on the camera.

0:26:43 > 0:26:45But it makes Cathy happy.

0:26:47 > 0:26:48Come on, dear.

0:26:49 > 0:26:52And what if one of my children was adopted?

0:26:52 > 0:26:53What if they were all adopted?

0:26:53 > 0:26:56Would that make me less their mother?

0:26:56 > 0:26:57No!

0:26:58 > 0:27:00Life is all about relationships.

0:27:05 > 0:27:06Mammy.

0:27:06 > 0:27:08Yes, love.

0:27:08 > 0:27:11Thanks for telling me I'm not adopted.

0:27:11 > 0:27:12I was really worried.

0:27:14 > 0:27:16Worried about what for God's sake?

0:27:16 > 0:27:18Cathy, look at yourself.

0:27:18 > 0:27:20Who the fuck would adopt you?

0:27:28 > 0:27:30Good night!

0:27:30 > 0:27:35# Say hello to the queen of Dublin town

0:27:36 > 0:27:41# As the best mum of all she wears the crown

0:27:42 > 0:27:45# Mother hen watching all her chicks

0:27:45 > 0:27:49# Sassy old lady full of tricks

0:27:49 > 0:27:54# It's a safe bet she'd never let life get her down

0:27:54 > 0:27:58- # She's Mrs Brown - Agnes

0:27:58 > 0:28:01- # That's Mrs Brown - Agnes

0:28:01 > 0:28:03# Oh, Mrs Brown. #

0:28:03 > 0:28:06Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd