0:00:02 > 0:00:10This programme contains some strong language
0:00:10 > 0:00:11SHE RINGS THE DOORBELL
0:00:11 > 0:00:13'I'll get it.'
0:00:17 > 0:00:20- Hiya.- Oh. - Got a delivery.- Oh, thanks.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28- Thought that was Kelly. - No, no.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30- Who are they from?- Erm...
0:00:30 > 0:00:33- George and Jenny. - George and Jenny?
0:00:33 > 0:00:35- Yeah.- Who's that?
0:00:35 > 0:00:37- No idea. - HE LAUGHS
0:00:39 > 0:00:42George and Jenny...
0:00:42 > 0:00:44I went to school with a Jenny, but she hated my guts.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48- Did she? - Yeah. Can you get me a vase, love?
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Erm... I might just use a vase, actually.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58No, it's fine. It's easier.
0:01:09 > 0:01:10Lovely.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13- It's just an easier way of doing it. - Yeah.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15DOORBELL
0:01:15 > 0:01:18That'll be Kelly.
0:01:18 > 0:01:22- Hello! Nice to meet you. - Yes! And you, Kelly.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Oh. Oh. Sorry.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Sorry. I never know whether to, erm...
0:01:27 > 0:01:30- Don't worry.- Was it nice?
0:01:30 > 0:01:33- Yeah.- Good. Erm...
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Well, come through. Come through into the living room. Make yourself at home.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38I just wanted to say, actually, Cathy.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41I've, erm, I've had a bit of a problem with my dress.
0:01:41 > 0:01:45- OK.- My mum washed the wrong black dress and it's really short, isn't it?
0:01:45 > 0:01:47You can see her bum.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Yeah. And was like, "Mum, this is Jason's dad's funeral!
0:01:49 > 0:01:53"I can't go to Jason's dad's funeral with my bum out, can I!?"
0:01:53 > 0:01:54So, erm...
0:01:57 > 0:01:59It's the only one I had that was, like, respectful
0:01:59 > 0:02:02or, like, long enough.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Also, I'm sorry about my roots.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07Well, I think you look absolutely lovely, Kelly.
0:02:07 > 0:02:08And it's so nice of you to come.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11- Dave would've been very touched. - Oh.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Wow. Erm...
0:02:17 > 0:02:20- I'll show you the kitchen.- Cool.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Well, it's so nice to meet you at last, Kelly.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27- A shame it's on such a sad occasion. - Yeah.
0:02:27 > 0:02:28Erm...
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Sorry, I didn't have any breakfast.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Oh, that's OK.
0:02:34 > 0:02:35Do you want the lid?
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Erm, I'm all right.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45I just wanted to say, actually, Cathy.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48I'm so sorry about the death of your husband.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Oh, thanks. Yeah.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53And he took so long to die.
0:02:53 > 0:02:54Yeah.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59- Can I get you anything to drink? - No.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Thanks, Cathy. It'll only make me wee.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05- I do like coffee, though. - It's nice, isn't it?
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Yeah. It's bitter.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Has Jason told you about my loyalty card?
0:03:11 > 0:03:15- No.- Which means, basically, my next cup of coffee's free.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17- Wow.- It's a good system, isn't it, Mum?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Yeah, that does sound very good. Well done.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22- They get the coffee beans from Peru. - No.- Yeah.- Peru?
0:03:22 > 0:03:25You can actually see the sacks they arrived in.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27The first coffee I bought was what's known as a latte.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29- Sorry, Kelly, I'm just going to, erm...- Yeah.
0:03:40 > 0:03:44# I got my ticket for the long way round
0:03:44 > 0:03:47- # Two bottle for the way... # - Morning.
0:03:47 > 0:03:51# And I sure would like some sweet company
0:03:51 > 0:03:55# Oh, I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say?
0:03:55 > 0:03:57- # When I'm gone - When I'm gone
0:03:57 > 0:03:59- # When I'm gone - When I'm gone
0:03:59 > 0:04:02# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone... #
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Morning!
0:04:04 > 0:04:07- Oh hi. You all right?- Hello.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
0:04:12 > 0:04:15# I got my ticket for the long way round
0:04:15 > 0:04:18# The one with the prettiest views
0:04:18 > 0:04:21# It's got mountains, it's got rivers, it's got woods
0:04:21 > 0:04:22# That will give you shivers
0:04:22 > 0:04:26# But it sure would be prettier with you
0:04:26 > 0:04:28- # When I'm gone - When I'm gone
0:04:28 > 0:04:31# When I'm gone
0:04:31 > 0:04:34# You're going to miss me when I'm gone. #
0:04:41 > 0:04:44- Here she is! Big sis!- Hello!
0:04:44 > 0:04:46- Haven't you grown! - HE LAUGHS
0:04:46 > 0:04:50- I always say that, don't I? - Yeah, it's great.
0:04:50 > 0:04:51Oh, you remember Pauline?
0:04:51 > 0:04:54Yeah. Nice to see you again. Thanks for coming.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56No, not at all. I love a funeral.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Good.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Tea? I've just made them for Jason.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Thank you.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06How are you feeling? Yeah, fine.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09- I'm sure it'll hit me later, but I'm trying...- Is this from a pot?
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Sorry to interrupt, Cathy. Did you make this tea in a pot?
0:05:12 > 0:05:14- Er, no.- Right.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16- Is that OK?- Yes, of course.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21- Sugar?- Well, it's going to need some flavour, isn't it, Cathy?
0:05:21 > 0:05:23THEY LAUGH
0:05:23 > 0:05:25DOORBELL
0:05:26 > 0:05:29- All right, Michael? - All right, Jason, you OK?
0:05:29 > 0:05:33Yeah, you know. I'm trying to look after my mum, really.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35- Help with the flowers.- That's nice.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Yeah. Ironed my own shirt.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40Well done, mate.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43She's in there.
0:05:43 > 0:05:44Michael's here!
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Garden's looking nice. What happened about your pond?
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Oh. No, we didn't get one in the end.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58What stopped you getting a pond? Realise it was tacky?
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Erm... No.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02- Oo! Cake!- Mmmm!- Lovely.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Oh, please. Take it all. It'll only go to waste.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06- I will. Looks great!- Yes.
0:06:06 > 0:06:11- Yeah. I made it myself.- Sorry, Cathy, can I borrow some knickers?
0:06:11 > 0:06:12Erm...
0:06:12 > 0:06:15And I just thought, "Oh, blimey, I should probably be wearing some."
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Michael, this is Kelly, Jason's girlfriend.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Kelly, this is Michael, an old, old friend of ours.
0:06:20 > 0:06:21Hiya. Pleased to meet you.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24And you. Yeah. Erm...
0:06:24 > 0:06:27I'm sorry to hear about your dead friend.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30- Thanks.- Shall we, erm...
0:06:30 > 0:06:31Yes!
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Sorry. Was that all right? I never know what to say.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- Don't worry.- I've only ever been to one funeral, and that was when my dog died.
0:06:37 > 0:06:41- I played the vicar.- Did you? - Yeah, I was really good, actually.
0:06:41 > 0:06:42Wait that's you?!
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- Yeah.- No!- Yeah.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51I can't believe that's you. You look so pretty.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Thanks.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55I can't believe you got married in brown.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56What was wrong with you?
0:06:56 > 0:06:59- It was the fashion back then. - No!- Yeah.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03Aw! That's cute.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06People were so funny in the olden days.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09When me and Jason get married, I'm wearing white.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12- Shall we?- Yeah.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Can I just ask, is it awkward that I'm borrowing your knickers?
0:07:15 > 0:07:17No, Kelly, it happens all the time.
0:07:17 > 0:07:18Does it?
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Last time I was here, it was all about the pond.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22- Don't sit there.- Why not?
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Look at it.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26And don't stand like that. For god's sake, Derek.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29I can't believe I have to tell you how to stand.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Yeah, sorry.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35- They're off.- (OK, well, don't say anything to her.)
0:07:35 > 0:07:38- They've gone white, Derek. - (Yeah, but don't say anything.)
0:07:38 > 0:07:40You all right, Uncle Derek?
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Ask him.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47All right, Jason, lad. Sorry about that.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50I was just sorting something out with Pauline. How you doing, mate?
0:07:50 > 0:07:54Yeah, you know. Trying to help Mum, really.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57- She's looking good, though. - Yeah, she's been amazing
0:07:57 > 0:07:59And you? You coping all right?
0:07:59 > 0:08:03Yeah, you know. Just need to get through today, really.
0:08:03 > 0:08:04Hmm!
0:08:04 > 0:08:08- It must be so hard for you, losing your husband.- Yeah.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11It's not been great, but I've had a long time to prepare, so...
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Yeah. When my dog died, he'd been through chemo
0:08:14 > 0:08:16and also they cut his leg off and put him on wheels, so we were
0:08:16 > 0:08:19all, like, he's bound to die now, and then he got hit by a lorry.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21OK.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24- Shall I stop talking about my dog? - That's my knicker drawer.- Right.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26So help yourself to anything you need.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29I'm just going to pop to the toilet.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Number one or number two?
0:08:32 > 0:08:34I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37It's literally none of my business what you get up to in there.
0:08:37 > 0:08:38Don't worry, love.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Oh, Michael, hello.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45- Yeah.- You OK?
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Yeah. You?
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Yeah.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53(Kelly's just borrowing a pair of my knickers.)
0:08:53 > 0:08:54Oh, lovely.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Pauline.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02She's a lovely little thing. She's a real looker.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Isn't she?
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Yeah.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09She's been in an advert.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12But at the same time - and this is rare for a good-looking woman -
0:09:12 > 0:09:14she's also got a good personality.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23She was sort of wondering about getting to the crematorium,
0:09:23 > 0:09:27if there's any room for her in the funeral car?
0:09:27 > 0:09:31- Erm...- It's fine. Sorry. Don't worry.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33I don't want to make things difficult for you.
0:09:33 > 0:09:37No, you're not. You're not. She'll understand.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39She's a very reasonable person.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49You looked lovely. You both did.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54You had a good dance with my mum.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Mmm. Lucky me.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01Oh, don't. She always talked about that.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Beautiful day. Beautiful wedding.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06You were so nice about me in your speech.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08It was all lies.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10THEY CHUCKLE
0:10:10 > 0:10:13Do you remember when we hid in your car
0:10:13 > 0:10:16so I could have a fag without my dad seeing?
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Oh, yeah! I remember.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Pair of bloody idiots.
0:10:20 > 0:10:25- Have you knocked?- No. They've been in there for quite a while.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31You have to give it a little shove. Do you want to go first?
0:10:31 > 0:10:33No, no, you go ahead, I'll be ages.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36- Oh!- No, I didn't... No, I didn't, didn't mean that.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39- You sure?- Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go right ahead.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43- I won't be long.- No, it's fine. You take as long as it takes, as long as you need.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45I'll be right here. Don't worry, I won't be listening.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55CHILDREN PLAY NOISILY OUTSIDE
0:11:25 > 0:11:27DOORBELL
0:11:29 > 0:11:32That's it, Maureen! Nearly there!
0:11:32 > 0:11:34I'm in constant pain, Cathy.
0:11:34 > 0:11:35OK.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37She's faking it, the fat slag.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39All right, Reg.
0:11:39 > 0:11:40I need water!
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Hello, Nan, Grandad, you all right?
0:11:42 > 0:11:45They've put me on another load of new pills!
0:11:45 > 0:11:46Oh, no!
0:11:46 > 0:11:50They're the same pills! They're in a different box!
0:11:50 > 0:11:53- Thick bitch.- Why have you changed the windows?
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Er, we haven't, Maureen.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57They're the same windows as the last time you were here.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00Why is she lying to me about changing the windows?!
0:12:00 > 0:12:04- She hasn't! They're the same windows! Why would she change the windows?- That's what I want to know!
0:12:04 > 0:12:06- Kelly, let me introduce you.- Hello!
0:12:06 > 0:12:08This is Dave's parents, Maureen and Reg.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11Maureen and Reg, this is Kelly, Jason's new girlfriend.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13It's nice to meet you both at last.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15I'm so sorry about your loss.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19Thank you, yeah. It's been very hard.
0:12:19 > 0:12:23- You shouldn't have to bury your own child.- No.
0:12:23 > 0:12:24God.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Well, you'd think they'd do that for you.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36Oh, no... I see what you mean, yes. Sorry, sorry...
0:12:36 > 0:12:39- It's OK, Kelly.- I thought you meant you actually had to dig...
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Kelly? Your mum washed the wrong black dress, didn't she?
0:12:42 > 0:12:44- That's why you're in bright red.- Yes!
0:12:44 > 0:12:48I've got two black dresses, one of them's a bit like...
0:12:48 > 0:12:52My ex-boyfriend used to like it when I... I dunno how to put it.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55- We don't need to know. - True. True. Sorry.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59- Yeah, and the other one's a bit more like...- Is she speaking to me?
0:12:59 > 0:13:01- Yeah, she is.- I can't hear a word you're saying.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03I've got two black dresses, Maureen!
0:13:03 > 0:13:06- She's got two! Black! Dresses! - Kelly?
0:13:08 > 0:13:10- What is wrong with me? - Don't worry about it. Honestly.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13My mum's like, "Kelly, think before you speak," and I'm like,
0:13:13 > 0:13:14"I do." And then I think they're
0:13:14 > 0:13:17- actually going to make him bury his own son.- Yes, keep moving.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20Seriously, Cathy. I was picturing him with a shovel. "He's 100 years old!
0:13:20 > 0:13:24- "He shouldn't be doing that!" Do you know what I mean? - Keep moving.- Honestly.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26It's like my brain's made of bananas.
0:13:26 > 0:13:30- Nan, where do you want your water? - He wants to know where to put your water!
0:13:30 > 0:13:33- Oh, shut your face, you stupid old man.- I'll leave it here.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Thanks, Jason.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45Jason's such an amazing boyfriend.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48And he's coped so well with his dad and everything.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Yeah. He's been very strong.
0:13:50 > 0:13:54Yeah, and he's so intelligent!
0:13:54 > 0:13:55Yeah.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01You won't lose my page, will you, love?
0:14:01 > 0:14:02No.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Yeah, no, it's great, really.
0:14:16 > 0:14:21- He's so much better than my ex. - Good.- Yeah.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Yeah. My ex was like...
0:14:24 > 0:14:28Well, if you met him, you'd think he's nice because he'd be nice to you
0:14:28 > 0:14:32because you're you, but he wasn't very nice to me, if I'm honest.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35- He used to sort of control me and stuff.- Oh, no.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38Yeah. He used to call me names and things,
0:14:38 > 0:14:42and then towards the end, it all got a little bit physical.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45Oh, God, Kelly. I'm so sorry.
0:14:45 > 0:14:46Yeah, well.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49I'm, like, over it now, I got myself out of it,
0:14:49 > 0:14:53- put it all behind me, so... - Yeah, but that must've been very hard for you, love.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Yeah, well. SHE LAUGHS
0:14:59 > 0:15:03Is Jason, erm...
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Sorry if this isn't the sort of thing to say at a
0:15:05 > 0:15:09funeral, but has Jason said anything to you about asking me to marry him?
0:15:09 > 0:15:13Erm... No. No.
0:15:13 > 0:15:14What makes you think he might?
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Well, you've only been going out a few months.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22Yeah, but they've been the best few months of my life.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24You're both still young, aren't you?
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Not really, Cathy. I'm 26.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30- Oh! - KNOCK ON DOOR
0:15:30 > 0:15:34- JASON:- 'Mum? The hearse is here.' - OK, love!
0:15:38 > 0:15:40- Rubbish.- OK, fine. But I did.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42- Shut up.- OK, fine.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44- You didn't invent it.- I did! I've been saying it for years.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48- Shut up!- I'd be like seven years old or something,
0:15:48 > 0:15:51and somebody would drop, like, a plate or something, and I'd be like,
0:15:51 > 0:15:54- "Keep calm and carry on." - HE LAUGHS
0:15:54 > 0:15:56It's true!
0:15:56 > 0:16:00Or like, we'd be late for school and I'd be like, "It's all right, Mum, keep calm and carry on."
0:16:00 > 0:16:01HE LAUGHS
0:16:01 > 0:16:03"Keep calm and carry on." It was my thing.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05You must've heard it off someone.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08- No! Because I remember inventing it when I was...- Careful.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11- We'll be out in a minute!- Whenever you're ready, Cathy!- Thanks.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Yeah, so, anyway, the point is, like, one minute it's my phrase,
0:16:18 > 0:16:21I'm saying it round the house and that, next minute,
0:16:21 > 0:16:24- everyone's got it on a bloody T-shirt. - HE LAUGHS
0:16:24 > 0:16:27- Pardon?!- It's a buffet, Maureen.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29What's she saying?!
0:16:29 > 0:16:30It's a buffet!
0:16:30 > 0:16:33What are we having?
0:16:33 > 0:16:38I think it's just sandwiches, crisps, sausage rolls, that sort of thing.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40- The pub are doing it. - What flavour crisps?
0:16:40 > 0:16:42I dunno, Reg. It's just a buffet.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44I'll have a ham sandwich and half a sausage roll!
0:16:44 > 0:16:47You can help yourself, Maureen. It's a buffet.
0:16:47 > 0:16:48Have they got any eggs?
0:16:48 > 0:16:51- Is there mayo in the sandwiches? - Have they got any eggs?!
0:16:51 > 0:16:53I don't know, Reg. It's just a normal buffet.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55I'll have an egg-and-ham sandwich!
0:16:55 > 0:16:58It's a buffet, Maureen! You help yourself!
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Don't worry about the mayo, Cathy.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02I'll ask the waiter when he takes my order.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07What did you order?
0:17:07 > 0:17:09I'm going to talk to the waiter about it.
0:17:09 > 0:17:10Pardon?
0:17:10 > 0:17:12I'm going to talk to the waiter!
0:17:23 > 0:17:27- You all right, Cathy?- Yeah.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Um, the hearse is here, but I can't find my, er...
0:17:31 > 0:17:33I can't find my glasses.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36I keep putting them down and forgetting where I've put them.
0:17:37 > 0:17:38Oh!
0:17:40 > 0:17:41SHE SIGHS
0:17:41 > 0:17:43More flowers. Who are they from?
0:17:47 > 0:17:49Hello again.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51- Hi.- You all right?- Yeah.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Can I ask about this pond?
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Pauline?
0:17:56 > 0:17:57No, I'm just interested.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59What was it, Cathy? Water feature?
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Couple of fish?
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Little bench for the two of you?
0:18:03 > 0:18:05I just thought it'd be nice, but Dave didn't like
0:18:05 > 0:18:10- the ones at B&Q so... - B&Q! Of course you went to B&Q!
0:18:10 > 0:18:11They're off, by the way.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12Sorry.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16Oh, don't apologise. Too late for that.
0:18:22 > 0:18:23Nice cake, Cathy.
0:18:23 > 0:18:24Thanks.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Get us another bit.
0:18:26 > 0:18:27Just one minute.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34- Pauline?- Hello again, Catherine. - Oh, hi.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36I see you put some flowers in a pint glass.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38- Yeah.- What a lovely touch.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43So, erm, what's happening after we've, er,
0:18:43 > 0:18:45after we've, erm, you know...
0:18:46 > 0:18:48..when we've "said goodbye"?
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Well, we're all just going to The Crown. They're doing a buffet.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53Oh, nice. Lovely. That sounds nice, doesn't it?
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Yes. A buffet in a pub. How authentic.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59What does that involve, in practice?
0:18:59 > 0:19:00Well, it's just sandwiches,
0:19:00 > 0:19:03sausage rolls, pork pies, that sort of thing.
0:19:03 > 0:19:04Great.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08They've also got a menu.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Oh, thank God for that!
0:19:10 > 0:19:11SHE CHORTLES TIGHTLY
0:19:16 > 0:19:20OK, I know this is silly, but I can't find my glasses
0:19:20 > 0:19:21and I've looked everywhere.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Pauline! Bloody hell!
0:19:26 > 0:19:27I know she just thinks she's posh
0:19:27 > 0:19:30and if Dave had done to me what her husband did to her,
0:19:30 > 0:19:32do you know what? I'd be a mess, too,
0:19:32 > 0:19:35and I know I shouldn't let her wind me up,
0:19:35 > 0:19:37but, Jesus, she's a fucking twat!
0:19:37 > 0:19:39I mean, the things she comes out with! Honestly!
0:19:39 > 0:19:42She thinks she's being subtle, but bloody hell!
0:19:44 > 0:19:47And I thought I'd be OK today.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Because I've been preparing myself, haven't I?
0:19:49 > 0:19:50I've thought it through. I have.
0:19:50 > 0:19:55I've thought about it every night since he told me what was going on
0:19:55 > 0:19:59and he'd be all, "Oh, it'll be OK, it'll be fine, don't worry",
0:19:59 > 0:20:03because I don't think he actually believed he could die, did he?
0:20:03 > 0:20:06But I was preparing myself and I was googling it
0:20:06 > 0:20:09and I was reading up on it because I knew it'd end like this.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11I knew it would.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14And I've been through all that with my mum and dad, haven't I?
0:20:14 > 0:20:16And the problems we had having Jason,
0:20:16 > 0:20:20and that was horrible and I coped with that, so I thought I'd be OK.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23But...honestly, Michael.
0:20:26 > 0:20:27Jesus Christ.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33I miss him so much.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Not the Dave that we had in the hospital,
0:20:38 > 0:20:41but the Dave who used to make me laugh.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48It feels like it's been ages since I laughed.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51And if he'd been here today we'd be hiding in here together
0:20:51 > 0:20:54and we'd be laughing about what a prat Pauline is.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56And now look at me.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59People keep buying me bloody flowers.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01What am I going to do with them?
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Pauline!
0:21:05 > 0:21:08I can't believe I'm letting Pauline get to me.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12And I know this is ridiculous and I know I'm being silly, but the hearse
0:21:12 > 0:21:16is here and we need to get going and I cannot find my bloody glasses!
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Are they in any way similar
0:21:21 > 0:21:24to the ones on your head?
0:21:31 > 0:21:33That is so embarrassing, Michael.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Honestly. I'm going senile.
0:21:35 > 0:21:36No, you're not.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39Honestly. I've been looking for them for ages.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Oh, yeah, now you come to mention it, it's a bit worrying.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Yeah, thanks. You were a great help.
0:21:46 > 0:21:47Oh, what a wally.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Getting all upset, going on like that
0:21:51 > 0:21:52and being mean about poor Pauline,
0:21:52 > 0:21:55going round looking for my glasses when they're on my bloody head!
0:21:55 > 0:21:57I'm losing it.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59- No, you're not.- I need to buy about ten pairs and put them in a drawer.
0:21:59 > 0:22:04- I'm definitely losing it! - You're not losing it, Cathy.
0:22:04 > 0:22:08Well, anyway, congratulations on finding your glasses.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10I'll see you down at the crematorium.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12Are we coming back here later?
0:22:12 > 0:22:14No, there's a buffet at The Crown.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Oh, good. They do a lovely spread.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24You OK?
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Yeah, fine.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39We were going to do it for your anniversary.
0:22:51 > 0:22:52You ready, Mum?
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Yep.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05All right, Maureen?
0:23:06 > 0:23:09- OK?- Thanks, Reg.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Careful, Derek. Don't drop her.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Leave her. She can walk.
0:23:13 > 0:23:14Derek! You'll drop her!
0:23:14 > 0:23:18Oh, wow, Cathy. You look so lovely.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Thanks, Kelly.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Can I get a photo? Show my mum?
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Er, shall we just get going?
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Good idea. I'll take it when we get there.
0:23:29 > 0:23:30Do you need a hug?
0:23:30 > 0:23:32I'm all right, actually, thanks, Kelly.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Do you want to feel my coat?
0:23:35 > 0:23:36Thanks.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39I'm just trying to think of ways to make you happy.
0:23:39 > 0:23:40I know.
0:23:40 > 0:23:41I've got some Rolos in my bag.
0:23:41 > 0:23:42I'm all right.
0:23:50 > 0:23:51She won't be a minute.
0:23:55 > 0:23:56Sorry.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58I don't want my tummy rumbling during the service!
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Don't worry.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03I've just need to put my gloves on. Sorry.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06I always get hungry.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Do you get hungry, Cathy?
0:24:08 > 0:24:10- Yeah.- Yeah, me too.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14What do you do when you get hungry, Kelly?
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Erm... I usually eat something, don't I?
0:24:16 > 0:24:19- Yeah.- And that stops you being hungry, does it?
0:24:19 > 0:24:20Yeah.
0:24:20 > 0:24:21Wow.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Well, that's why you feel hungry, isn't it?
0:24:24 > 0:24:26Because it's your tummy's way of...
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Are you taking the mickey out of me?
0:24:31 > 0:24:34No...
0:24:34 > 0:24:37Cathy! You're so naughty!
0:25:01 > 0:25:02One minute.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Oh, for God's sake. You're kidding me.
0:25:15 > 0:25:16Bloody things.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27You've got to be kidding me.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39# I got my ticket for the long way round
0:25:39 > 0:25:43# Two bottle of whisky for the way
0:25:43 > 0:25:46# And I sure would like some sweet company
0:25:46 > 0:25:50# And I'm leavin' tomorrow What do you say?
0:25:50 > 0:25:54# When I'm gone When I'm go-o-one
0:25:54 > 0:25:57# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
0:25:57 > 0:26:00# You're gonna miss me by my hair
0:26:00 > 0:26:02# You're gonna miss me everywhere
0:26:02 > 0:26:05# Oh, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone. #