0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:04 > 0:00:05It's nowhere near the ground.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Oh, sorry, I should've brought that back ages ago.
0:00:08 > 0:00:09No, it's all right.
0:00:09 > 0:00:14We only need it because we've got a cleaner coming tomorrow.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17- Cleaner?- Yeah, cleaner.- Indeed.
0:00:17 > 0:00:19It's this little Bulgarian chick.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21She's going to wash and iron Pauline's clothes
0:00:21 > 0:00:23- and her pillowcase... - And brush my hair.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25If she wants the money, she'll do it.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28She's going to do all that and clean the flat for 60 quid.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Blimey. I'd do it for half that!
0:00:32 > 0:00:34I think she was joking.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36- Were you?- Yes.
0:00:36 > 0:00:37Yeah.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40- Well, if you ever need the cash, Cathy.- Thanks.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44- You wouldn't have to declare it. - Bye, Derek.- Bye, Uncle Derek!
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Well, have a happy Easter.
0:00:48 > 0:00:49Yes.
0:00:49 > 0:00:50Unlikely, but thank you.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53- We're having lunch with Derek's friends.- Our friends.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56So, that's a whole afternoon of bad wine and vacuous chitchat
0:00:56 > 0:00:59and food cooked by the sorts of animals Derek's friends
0:00:59 > 0:01:02- are married to.- The sorts of animals OUR friends are married to.- Yes.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Well, have a lovely Easter, Cathy.
0:01:04 > 0:01:05- Thank you.- You doing anything nice?
0:01:05 > 0:01:07No, not much.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Jason and Kelly are going to Kelly's auntie's,
0:01:09 > 0:01:12and my friend Lyn's going to pop round, she always does at Easter.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15Oh, and yeah, we're having the carpet done, aren't we, on Tuesday
0:01:15 > 0:01:18so Michael's going to come round and help me clear the front room.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Sorry, I didn't listen.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Well, have fun, whatever you're doing.
0:01:24 > 0:01:25What colour's the carpet?
0:01:25 > 0:01:27It's speckled.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29It's sort of beige.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32SHE LAUGHS Of course it is.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35- Bye then.- Bye, Cath.- Bye.
0:01:39 > 0:01:40- I'll ask her.- Thanks, babe.
0:01:43 > 0:01:44Why don't you come to my auntie's?
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Oh, your auntie doesn't want me there.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49I've got loads of family who are sort of...
0:01:49 > 0:01:52I don't know what the proper word is, but they're like...
0:01:52 > 0:01:56I don't mean to be rude or anything, but they're like...
0:01:56 > 0:01:58- your age?- Yeah?
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Yeah, so you could talk to them about whatever it is you people
0:02:00 > 0:02:05talk about, like ABBA, or the news,
0:02:05 > 0:02:07or the first time you got a colour TV.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11That sounds really very tempting, Kelly, but there's
0:02:11 > 0:02:14a front room to clear, isn't there, and Michael's coming over, so...
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Mum, seriously, are you honestly telling me
0:02:16 > 0:02:20that you want to spend Easter Sunday alone in the house with Michael?
0:02:20 > 0:02:21THEY GIGGLE
0:02:23 > 0:02:25You're so funny, babe.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27I'm not as funny as you are beautiful.
0:02:27 > 0:02:28Babe!
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Your eyes are infinitesimal.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33- Oh, babe.- Can I just...?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35- Yeah, sorry.- Sorry.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37MUSIC: You're Gonna Miss Me by Lulu and the Lampshades
0:02:37 > 0:02:41# I got my ticket for the long way round
0:02:41 > 0:02:44# Two bottles of whisky for the way
0:02:44 > 0:02:46# And I sure would like some... #
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Bye, Cath!
0:02:48 > 0:02:49Right then.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51# I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say?
0:02:51 > 0:02:53- # When I'm gone - # When I'm gone... #
0:02:53 > 0:02:55CAR ENGINE STUTTERS
0:02:56 > 0:02:59# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone... #
0:02:59 > 0:03:01CAR ENGINE STUTTERS
0:03:01 > 0:03:03# You're gonna miss me everywhere... #
0:03:03 > 0:03:05CAR ENGINE STUTTERS
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Just stay in the car, I'll sort it out.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12# I got my ticket for the long way round
0:03:12 > 0:03:15# The one with the prettiest view... #
0:03:15 > 0:03:17I'm not sitting in the car.
0:03:17 > 0:03:18# It's got woods that'll give you shivers
0:03:18 > 0:03:21# But it sure would be prettier with you... #
0:03:21 > 0:03:23CAR HORN BLARES
0:03:23 > 0:03:25# When I'm gone
0:03:25 > 0:03:28# When I'm gone
0:03:28 > 0:03:31# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. #
0:03:35 > 0:03:37- BOTH:- Happy Easter!
0:03:37 > 0:03:39- Happy Easter!- Happy Easter!
0:03:39 > 0:03:41- Happy Easter!- I love Easter. - It's so random.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43I can't believe it's finally here.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45So go on, what Easter egg did you get?
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Well, Cathy got me one with my name on, didn't you?
0:03:47 > 0:03:50- Yeah.- Thornton's.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53- Shut up!- Yeah. Ryan spent like a tenner on it.
0:03:53 > 0:03:54Congratulations on your course.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Oh, thanks, yeah.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58- He's going to be a male nurse. - Yeah.
0:03:58 > 0:03:59You can just say nurse.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01That's very exciting, love.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04My mum was ill quite a lot and so I used to sort of look after her
0:04:04 > 0:04:06instead of school, and then I sort of just held her hand
0:04:06 > 0:04:09while she died, so it feels like the next step, really.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Him, though, a male nurse!
0:04:14 > 0:04:15You can just say nurse.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Yeah, good, Michael, yeah.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22The car's broken down, but then, on the other hand, it's Easter.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25I love Easter. You know all the chocolate, all the eggs,
0:04:25 > 0:04:26all the rabbits.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29What is it with the rabbits? And what is it with all the chocolate?!
0:04:29 > 0:04:31I should do a bit of the old stand-up comedy, shouldn't I?
0:04:31 > 0:04:35So, Easter, what's with all the rabbits?!
0:04:35 > 0:04:38That'd be good that, wouldn't it? I'd be like Bob Monkhouse.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40I love Bob Monkhouse. It's a shame he's dead.
0:04:40 > 0:04:41But we all go eventually, don't we?
0:04:44 > 0:04:46You all right, mate?
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Oh, yeah, sorry.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50I just had one of these.
0:04:50 > 0:04:51Oh, right.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55- OK.- Yeah.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Who gives a fuck about shitty old carpets?
0:04:57 > 0:04:59- Yeah.- I'm like, shit man!
0:04:59 > 0:05:01- Are you?- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03So she's going to clear out the front room today.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05- On Easter Sunday?- Yeah.
0:05:05 > 0:05:06Is she demented?
0:05:07 > 0:05:10She doesn't know it yet, me and Jason are going to do it
0:05:10 > 0:05:12for her tomorrow so she can have today on her own,
0:05:12 > 0:05:15- she doesn't have to be alone with Michael.- That's nice of you.- Yeah.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18I'm never going to live as long as Cathy, the way I'm going.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21That's a good point, babe. You better slow down.
0:05:21 > 0:05:22I can't.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28- Is it all right if I have a slash? - Yeah, 'course.- Is it clean?
0:05:29 > 0:05:31- Hello.- Hey.
0:05:31 > 0:05:32You all right?
0:05:32 > 0:05:35Yeah. Should've worn another layer, but...
0:05:35 > 0:05:36I was in the car, so...
0:05:37 > 0:05:40I don't know why I'm going on about it.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42So, you are all set for today?
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Yeah! I got up early, started to clear out the cupboards.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Oh, hold it, stop it right there.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Why?
0:05:49 > 0:05:51I think I need a moment to digest just how exciting your life is.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Oh, it's tragic.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55I've become the kind of person you pity.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57- Oh, I've always pitied you. - Thanks.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00So I've got it all sorted with my mum.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01It's no problem.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04I'm going to pop over there tonight, whenever we're finished,
0:06:04 > 0:06:07- so there's no rush.- Oh. - And I got us...
0:06:09 > 0:06:11..Graceland.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14Oh! No, that's good, because I got us...
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Oh, I didn't know they still sold it!
0:06:20 > 0:06:23Yeah, actually, these days it's very trendy.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25Of course it is.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Oh, hi, Michael. I'm going to see a flat on Tuesday.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30- Oh, nice. Where? - Hoppett Road.
0:06:30 > 0:06:31You coming?
0:06:33 > 0:06:35- Yeah.- So it's like far enough away from here
0:06:35 > 0:06:38so it'll feel like we've moved out, but also like close enough to here
0:06:38 > 0:06:40so we can still come round for our dinner.
0:06:40 > 0:06:41Great.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43It's really nice.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46When you look out the window, you can see a garden.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48- Oh, lovely.- You telling him about the flat?- Yeah.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51- DOORBELL RINGS - We're going to get a waffle-maker.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53- Of course.- And a drying rack.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56And we're going to spend a whole Saturday in Ikea.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00I'm sure that'll be a really pleasant experience.
0:07:00 > 0:07:01Yeah.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05- They're going to send someone around.- Oh, good.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Did you tell them who my husband is?
0:07:07 > 0:07:10It's the AA. They're not going to care who your husband is.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13When we were together, my husband and I just had to click our fingers
0:07:13 > 0:07:15- and a tow truck would arrive. - I bet that was annoying.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Seriously, that would really wind me up.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20- Babe? - I'm in the glass bit!
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Lyn's left her mum's. She just texted.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25- Oh, OK.- Who's Lyn?
0:07:25 > 0:07:27Oh, she's a very dear old friend of me
0:07:27 > 0:07:29and Dave and Michael and all that lot.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31She went out with Michael for a couple of years.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34But she used to have a bit of a thing for me, didn't she?
0:07:34 > 0:07:36- Oh, yes, she did! Yeah.- Yeah.
0:07:38 > 0:07:39- How funny.- Mum!
0:07:39 > 0:07:42She always pops round with an Easter egg for Jason and we send them
0:07:42 > 0:07:44back for her lot. We've been doing it for years.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46- Sweet.- Yeah.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48So we're just telling Michael about the new plans for today.
0:07:48 > 0:07:49- Oh, OK.- Yeah.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52It's weird, really.
0:07:52 > 0:07:53It was quite funny at the time.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Bit of an older woman kind of thing.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01She was quite the catch.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06My mates couldn't believe it when it was me that got off with her.
0:08:09 > 0:08:10You all right?
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Of course. Why wouldn't I be?
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- It was nothing serious. - I'm fine, Derek, so please just
0:08:17 > 0:08:19shut your stupid fat face.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24- I had to meet your husband. - Yes, I know.
0:08:24 > 0:08:25I remember the tears.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28All right, listen, guys, we've worked it out.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30You can have a nice day on your own.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Michael, you can get round to your mum's. Me and Jason will clear out
0:08:32 > 0:08:34- the front room tomorrow.- OK.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Ryan'll help. It's Bank Holiday, innit?
0:08:36 > 0:08:37What's that?
0:08:37 > 0:08:40What you doing tomorrow? Want to come help us clear out
0:08:40 > 0:08:42- the front room? - I've gotta get my ex an Easter egg.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Which one are you going to get him?
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Malteasers? I don't know.
0:08:47 > 0:08:48Wispa, babe. Get him a Wispa one.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51There's too many.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Fancy coming round and helping us tomorrow
0:08:53 > 0:08:55and letting Mum have today to herself?
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Honestly, love, don't worry. Michael's here now, isn't he, so...
0:08:58 > 0:09:01I've gotta get this egg for Kevin. He's really demanding.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04Don't worry, love. Michael's here, so we'll just go ahead as planned.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06But Michael said he was going to fucking do it.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08- Babe, they can hear you. - It's fucking...
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Yeah, don't worry. I don't mind doing it, so...
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Mum, put your feet up, have a bit of me-time.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20- OK.- And you get off, mate, go on, see your mum.
0:09:20 > 0:09:21We'll be all right.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Easter's meant to be family time, innit?
0:09:23 > 0:09:25You shouldn't have to spend it with us.
0:09:28 > 0:09:29Thanks.
0:09:34 > 0:09:35- NEXT DOOR: - They're fucking revolting.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Babe, they can hear you!
0:09:40 > 0:09:43- At least we saved her from Michael. - Yeah.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46She needs to put herself first.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50You're such a lovely person, do you know that?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53- No, you have the bigger bit. - No, you have it.
0:09:53 > 0:09:54No, you have it.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Yeah, he's right.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02It's a family day, I shouldn't be here.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06No, it's probably for the best.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08You'll be a lot quicker without me to slow you down.
0:10:08 > 0:10:09Oh, well, that's true.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16I just want my mum to be happy, because I love her.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19Oh, babe, that's so lovely.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24But not as lovely as your smile in the light of a thousand stars.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Oh, babe.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30You're my gorgeous little twinkle-nose.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Oh, babe!
0:10:34 > 0:10:38And it'd be good for you to get some time to yourself.
0:10:38 > 0:10:39Yeah, I don't have enough of that.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44My sister's down anyway.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Oh, is she?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Yeah, yeah so I should head off to my mum's,
0:10:48 > 0:10:51and I don't want to upset Jason. He's...
0:10:51 > 0:10:53- JASON:- She's here.
0:10:53 > 0:10:54- Oh, that'll be Lyn. - My mum's best friend...
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Oh, right, good. OK. Excellent.
0:10:56 > 0:11:00Then I'll head off in a minute.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Right.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Mum, I think that's Lynn!
0:11:09 > 0:11:10Is that her?
0:11:12 > 0:11:14Yeah.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Oh, well, but she was a lot better back in the day.
0:11:17 > 0:11:18Blimey.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21She's had her ups and downs and she's had kids
0:11:21 > 0:11:23and she struggled a bit in her forties,
0:11:23 > 0:11:25but no, she was really something.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Seriously, my mates were spitting feathers when I got
0:11:27 > 0:11:29to have a go on her.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32There was this kind of crackle of sexual electricity around her.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36You finished?
0:11:36 > 0:11:37Yeah.
0:11:40 > 0:11:41Sorry.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43- Do you know my Uncle Derek? - 'Course I do.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46- All right, Dell? - Yeah, good, yeah.
0:11:46 > 0:11:47Ryan, we're going upstairs.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50On the up, on the up. Been better, been worse.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52- This is my partner, Pauline. - Oh, hello.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56How funny!
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Because I've never, ever heard of you.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Well, come on then. Tell me everything. How did you two meet?
0:12:01 > 0:12:04- Well, it's funny, we actually met in the...- Derek.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07- I wasn't going to tell her the real story.- Right.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Hi, Lyn, happy Easter.
0:12:09 > 0:12:10Happy Easter.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12I've got Keith's in the car so I won't stop.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Cleaning on Easter Sunday?
0:12:14 > 0:12:17I'm going to shock you, Lyn - I'm getting a new carpet.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20- Oh, blimey! How many years has that been then?!- I know!
0:12:21 > 0:12:23- You OK?- Stop showing off.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26How am I showing off?
0:12:31 > 0:12:32Derek!
0:12:32 > 0:12:34- How's the twins? - Yeah, good thanks.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Kimberley's just had a baby.
0:12:36 > 0:12:37Oh, congratulations.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Fantastic. She's a granny.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Yes.
0:12:42 > 0:12:43But they're staying with us at the moment
0:12:43 > 0:12:45and the baby doesn't stop screaming.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49- Oh, no. Is he crying himself to sleep?- Yeah, but...
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Well, I cried myself to sleep every night until I was four.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53Never did me any harm.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58Oh, well that's for you.
0:12:58 > 0:12:59Oh, lovely.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- Thanks, Lyn.- And there's a...
0:13:02 > 0:13:03South Africa.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06You've been to South Africa, haven't you?
0:13:06 > 0:13:07How many times?
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Oh, two, three.
0:13:09 > 0:13:10I lose count.
0:13:12 > 0:13:13And that's for Jason.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Oh, that's so lovely, thank you, thanks, Lyn.
0:13:16 > 0:13:17Oh, you're very welcome.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19- And these are for your lot.- Oh!
0:13:19 > 0:13:22I've got a little book for the baby.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24- Ohhh!- For George and a card for...
0:13:24 > 0:13:27- Thank you.- Where's that gone?
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Ah. Here we are.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31And a little something for you and Keith.
0:13:31 > 0:13:35Oh, bloody hell. That'll stop him moaning about his hips!
0:13:35 > 0:13:38You know what he'll be after later.
0:13:38 > 0:13:39And it won't be another episode of Lewis!
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Oh, did you see Lewis last night?
0:13:42 > 0:13:44No. I was helping Kelly with her...
0:13:44 > 0:13:46No, I didn't see it either.
0:13:46 > 0:13:47Sorry, love?
0:13:47 > 0:13:50No, I was just saying we didn't see this "Lewis" programme either.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- Did we?- No. No.- We only watch BBC Four.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Documentaries, the Proms, anything with subtitles.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59- What channel was it on? - ITV3.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02ITV3. Yes.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07How lucky we all are to have so many ITV channels.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Well, lovely to meet you, eh...?
0:14:09 > 0:14:12- Lyn.- Lyn. Yes. Of course.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14Is that short for anything?
0:14:15 > 0:14:17- Linda.- Such a pretty name.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22- Yeah, it's good BBC Four.- Yeah. Yeah.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Yeah, no, it's, erm, informative.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29It's quite good to have on just before you go to sleep.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33I'll get a glass of water, if that's OK?
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Yeah, do you mind helping yourself?
0:14:35 > 0:14:38I'm just going to go and find that card for George...
0:14:42 > 0:14:44I am heading off, mate, so.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Cheer me up, Michael. Say something nice.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Oh, OK. Erm...
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Do you reckon they've saved the mountain gorilla from extinction?
0:14:59 > 0:15:02- Have they?- Yeah. - That is nice.- Yeah.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08I actually... I actually meant say something nice about me.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12Oh! Oh, sorry. Of course.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Of course.
0:15:17 > 0:15:18This looks very smart.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Really?
0:15:20 > 0:15:21Yeah.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Pauline got it off the internet.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Yes, really good fit.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28I like that bit.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31- Very nice. - I usually put a pen in there.
0:15:31 > 0:15:32Like they do at the end of the news.
0:15:35 > 0:15:36Yeah. Definitely.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39Yeah. Makes me feel a bit more sophisticated.
0:15:39 > 0:15:40Yeah.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46You're a good friend, you know that?
0:15:50 > 0:15:51Pauline, babe...
0:15:55 > 0:15:57What do you mean he rose from the dead?
0:15:57 > 0:15:59- He rose from the dead, babe. - Yeah. He did.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01He was dead and then he came back to life again.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04- Well, that's obviously bollocks. - Can I have some?
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Do you mean he "rose from the dead" though?
0:16:07 > 0:16:10He was dead and then he came back to life.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Who's this? Jesus?
0:16:12 > 0:16:13Oh, yeah.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16They killed him on a cross and then they put him in a tomb
0:16:16 > 0:16:19and left him to it, and three days later he was right as rain.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Bullshit.
0:16:24 > 0:16:29George, yeah. It's her first one so everything's a drama.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Your girls OK?
0:16:35 > 0:16:38Yeah. Yeah. Still with their mum in Spain so...
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Do you see much of Abi?
0:16:44 > 0:16:45As little as I can.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Do you think she'll get that pond?
0:16:54 > 0:16:55No. Doubt it.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02What are you doing here on Easter Sunday?
0:17:02 > 0:17:03CATH: Found it!
0:17:03 > 0:17:05Oh, I'm going to head off, Cath.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Oh, OK, love. Thanks for coming round.
0:17:07 > 0:17:08I should get back to Keith.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15- I hope that's water! - Yes, it is - sadly...
0:17:15 > 0:17:18- So, what is it you do, Lyn? - Pauline!
0:17:18 > 0:17:19I work in the library.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Oh, interesting.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23I once read a book that was 1,000 pages long.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26- Wow. Well done. - It took me a year.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Lyn reads tonnes of books, don't you?
0:17:29 > 0:17:31And you'll never beat her at Scrabble.
0:17:31 > 0:17:32She knows all the long words.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35- It's not hard to beat Cathy at Scrabble...- Oi!
0:17:35 > 0:17:37I'm not sure about long words.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41- No?- No. I tend to find them inconsequentially homogenous.
0:17:42 > 0:17:43Shall I...
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Thanks.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Well, very nice to meet you at last.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49Take care of the big fella.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Oh, you should have seen him when he was 17!
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Funny little thing, he was.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Oh, Lyn.
0:17:56 > 0:18:0017! When I was 17, I was sleeping with my teachers.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Let me know when you get back from France.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10France! I love France.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13They've got like four different types of Kronenburg.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20- Was that OK? - Yes. It was lovely to meet her.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Your teachers?
0:18:24 > 0:18:25Yes.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32There's no need for it, obviously, but, erm...
0:18:32 > 0:18:35It's actually it's quite nice that you're a bit sort of jealous.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39The only person I'm jealous of is the person I was before I met you.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49The only... Hm.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54The only person she's jealous of is...
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Hey, that's not very nice.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02No, I don't mind doing the front room.
0:19:02 > 0:19:03You need to see your mum at Easter.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05Yeah.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07It's hard to choose between being there for your family
0:19:07 > 0:19:09or being there for your friends.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13That was really deep.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15What, did you get that from a book or...?
0:19:15 > 0:19:17No, I thought of it myself.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Really?
0:19:19 > 0:19:22I just wanted to do what's best for your mum, you know?
0:19:22 > 0:19:25I know. You're a such a good friend.
0:19:25 > 0:19:29Yeah. So, if you need me to stay or...?
0:19:30 > 0:19:33I mean sometimes, in situations like these,
0:19:33 > 0:19:35you just have to look into your heart and do what feels right.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40You should get these down, mate. They are gold.
0:19:40 > 0:19:41Thanks.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43You got any others?
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Erm...
0:19:45 > 0:19:48If you believe in something, stick to it.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52You may not get there, but the journey will be incredible.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56I don't like that one.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00Before I got with you I didn't know anything.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Oh, I remember, Derek, don't you worry.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05You taught me everything. The capital cities.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Which shaped glass to use for which drink.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09It's not squash it's cordial.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11And, also, Weetabix.
0:20:11 > 0:20:12Wash the bowl straightaway
0:20:12 > 0:20:15because the longer you leave it, he worse it gets.
0:20:18 > 0:20:19You've changed my life, darling.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23And I've changed your life...
0:20:25 > 0:20:28- ..haven't I? - Yes, Derek. You certainly have.
0:20:28 > 0:20:32- FRONT DOOR OPENS - Well, happy Easter, Cathy!
0:20:32 > 0:20:33Oh, Happy Easter.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37- You look nice in that. - Oh. OK.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39I think you're really pretty.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Oh, thanks.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43I find it a bit confusing.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51Have a lovely day on your own.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54- I will.- But if you touch my Easter eggs, I'll kill you.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57THEY LAUGH
0:21:00 > 0:21:04No, seriously. Don't touch my Easter eggs.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06I won't, love.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10No, but, seriously, Cathy. Don't touch my Easter eggs.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14Seriously. Because I'll know.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15OK.
0:21:16 > 0:21:22No, but just, seriously, don't even think about touching them. Please.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Because I really don't want to get mad at you.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27I promise you I won't go anywhere near your Easter eggs.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Cool.
0:21:29 > 0:21:30Bye.
0:21:30 > 0:21:31Bye, Mum.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Bye, love.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Bye, guys! Enjoy your me-time!
0:21:35 > 0:21:37I will.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40- You forgot these.- Oh, yeah!
0:21:43 > 0:21:44Oh, please.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Give it ten years, he'll be knee deep in his secretary.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49- Pauline! - Not all men are like that.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51The good-looking ones are.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Well, I've never cheated on anyone.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58- I'm just going to, erm...- Yes.
0:22:02 > 0:22:03- You all right?- Yeah.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06- Nice to see Lyn.- Yeah.
0:22:06 > 0:22:07It's funny really bec...
0:22:07 > 0:22:09One minute.
0:22:22 > 0:22:26- What was funny?- No, no, I was just thinking - Lyn, a grandma.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Of all people.
0:22:28 > 0:22:29Yeah.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33Kelly was going to get me a pair.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Oh, right.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Did Lyn have much to say?
0:22:43 > 0:22:49- No. Keith was in the car so... And Pauline was being funny.- Why?
0:22:50 > 0:22:53Derek and Lyn had a little thing, didn't they? Ages ago.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55After you split up with her.
0:22:55 > 0:22:59Oh, they did, they did!
0:22:59 > 0:23:01But that was 40 years ago.
0:23:01 > 0:23:05Oh, I know. Like he'd still have feelings for her after 40 years.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12- Are you going to head off to your mum then?- Yeah. Yeah. I should.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Jason and Kelly are going to clear out the room tomorrow.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Yeah. That's nice of them, isn't it?
0:23:17 > 0:23:18Yeah.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22They're going to a party at Kelly's auntie.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Do you remember that Easter me and Dave had a big party?
0:23:26 > 0:23:28I do, it got messy.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31I fell asleep there.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Yeah. I was thinking, though, actually...
0:23:40 > 0:23:43..it was nice of Jason and Kelly to think of us.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46- Oh, very nice.- Yeah.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51I mean, in fact, you know,
0:23:51 > 0:23:56it was so nice, I was thinking it would be nice if we thought of them.
0:23:59 > 0:24:04- OK.- And maybe saved them the bother of saving us
0:24:04 > 0:24:07the bother of clearing out the front room.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13But Jason seems very keen on doing it.
0:24:15 > 0:24:16Yeah.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Yeah.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22And, obviously, you know if you need to see your sister...
0:24:22 > 0:24:24No, no.
0:24:24 > 0:24:28- If it's a time for families... - No. They'd just annoy me.
0:24:28 > 0:24:29SHE LAUGHS
0:24:30 > 0:24:34Well, we should do it, then. Save them the bother.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38It's either that or I sit on the sofa and decompose.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45- Do you mind?- No. No.
0:24:46 > 0:24:52Well, it might be nice, two of us. No-one to get in the way.
0:24:52 > 0:24:53Yeah.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01- Yes, of course!- Great. Thanks.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04Absolutely. Yes. No problem at all. The more, the merrier.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07- You sure? There was a bit of a silence there.- No! No. Not at all.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10- Was there?- No! No!- We've got to wait for the AA.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13- And I am not getting on a bus. - You can't expect Pauline
0:25:13 > 0:25:15- to get on a bus. - If I want to catch a disease,
0:25:15 > 0:25:17I'll get on a bus, but until that day...
0:25:17 > 0:25:18SHE LAUGHS
0:25:18 > 0:25:20So, it's OK if we stay? You didn't have any plans?
0:25:20 > 0:25:24- No. No. No plans at all.- Great!
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Well, this is going to be a bit of a busman's holiday.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28- I'm not touching anything dusty. - OK, I'll do all the dusty stuff.
0:25:28 > 0:25:32Steve at work has actually got a dust allergy, so anything dusty...
0:25:42 > 0:25:46# I got my ticket for the long way round
0:25:46 > 0:25:49# Two bottles of whisky for the way
0:25:49 > 0:25:53# And I sure would like some sweet company
0:25:53 > 0:25:56# And I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say?
0:25:56 > 0:26:01# When I'm gone, when I'm gone
0:26:01 > 0:26:04# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
0:26:04 > 0:26:06# You're gonna miss me by my hair
0:26:06 > 0:26:09# You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh
0:26:09 > 0:26:11# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. #