0:00:02 > 0:00:03I went to the cupboard and I'd run out of tea,
0:00:03 > 0:00:05so I went to the shop up there and they didn't have the one that
0:00:05 > 0:00:08I normally get, so I thought, "It's all right, doesn't matter.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10"I'll just get..." You know, whatever it was,
0:00:10 > 0:00:12Tetley's, PG Tips - I can't remember!
0:00:12 > 0:00:13Was it Tetley's?
0:00:14 > 0:00:16No, it was...
0:00:16 > 0:00:20Yes, it was! It was, it was Tetley... No.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23- This is a really boring story, isn't it?- It's not great.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26SHE CHUCKLES Oh, dear!
0:00:28 > 0:00:31- Michael's here.- All right, Michael?
0:00:31 > 0:00:32- Yeah. You?- Yeah.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37- Nice hat.- Thank you.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40So, I went online to see what tea I could get online...
0:00:40 > 0:00:44- Are you still going on about the tea?- I haven't told Michael yet! - Hey, Reg.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46You see these idiots,
0:00:46 > 0:00:50going for their runs and giving up smoking
0:00:50 > 0:00:53and cutting down on the booze,
0:00:53 > 0:00:57and all for an extra ten years of living like that.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03I mean, honestly, what's the point?
0:01:06 > 0:01:11So...that's...40p a box less.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13120 tea bags per box.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16So, per tea bag, that's...
0:01:17 > 0:01:18Take off the noughts...
0:01:20 > 0:01:24- No idea!- That's a third of a penny.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27- That was a really bad story, wasn't it?- Terrible, completely terrible.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34- You had a good week?- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
0:01:34 > 0:01:35Cleaned my car.
0:01:35 > 0:01:36HE CHUCKLES GENTLY
0:01:39 > 0:01:41- Mm! - SHE CHUCKLES
0:01:42 > 0:01:44- How's your mum?- She's fine.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48She got an e-mail from a Nigerian prince.
0:01:48 > 0:01:49- Oh, yeah?- Yeah.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52All she's got to do is send him her bank details
0:01:52 > 0:01:55and he'll give her £100 million.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57- SHE LAUGHS Stroke of luck!- I know.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04So, erm, did you get my e-mail?
0:02:04 > 0:02:07- DOOR SLAMS - Cathy!
0:02:07 > 0:02:09- I got the barbecue out!- Oh.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Barbecues get so dirty, don't they?
0:02:11 > 0:02:13They're worse than ovens!
0:02:14 > 0:02:19You-You've got a bit of black on your, erm...
0:02:19 > 0:02:21- Gone?- I think you better pop upstairs, love,
0:02:21 > 0:02:23and wash it properly.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Hi. You found the barbecue, then?
0:02:26 > 0:02:27THEY GIGGLE
0:02:28 > 0:02:31- No, stop touching it, love!- Sorry!
0:02:31 > 0:02:32STILL LAUGHING
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Oh, no!
0:02:35 > 0:02:38- He's an estate agent - he's lying.- He's not lying.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40He's a nice person.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43He puts smiley faces at the ends of his e-mails.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Oh, sorry!
0:02:51 > 0:02:54- Does that actually fit you?- Yeah.
0:02:55 > 0:02:56Aw!
0:02:56 > 0:02:59SHE GIGGLES
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Ooh!
0:03:01 > 0:03:02Why would an estate agent lie?
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Because estate agents aren't like you and me, babe,
0:03:05 > 0:03:07they're really, really horrible people.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11- Oh, I didn't see that arrive. - Oh, that's strange.- Yeah! Yeah.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Cathy, erm...
0:03:13 > 0:03:16No, it's, erm, it's sort of like a garden centre, erm,
0:03:16 > 0:03:18this link that I sent you in the e-mail,
0:03:18 > 0:03:20but it's lots of other things.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22- I mean, they've got a nice big cafe, and...- Yeah.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25..and I just wondered if you'd heard of it, nothing else.
0:03:26 > 0:03:30I was thinking it might do me good, erm, to get out a bit.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32- Yeah, absolutely, uh, I just... - No, it doesn't matter.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34It doesn't matter. It's, erm...
0:03:34 > 0:03:37No. It...doesn't matter. Er...
0:03:38 > 0:03:40This might be the tea!
0:03:41 > 0:03:43God knows how long it's been there!
0:03:47 > 0:03:48SHE SIGHS
0:03:57 > 0:04:00# I got my ticket for the long way round
0:04:00 > 0:04:03# Two bottle o' whisky for the way
0:04:03 > 0:04:07# And I sure would like some sweet company
0:04:07 > 0:04:11# Oh, I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say?
0:04:11 > 0:04:13- # When I'm gone - When I'm gone
0:04:13 > 0:04:15- # When I'm gone - When I'm gone
0:04:15 > 0:04:18# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
0:04:18 > 0:04:20# You're gonna miss me by my hair
0:04:20 > 0:04:23# You're gonna miss me everywhere
0:04:23 > 0:04:26# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
0:04:28 > 0:04:31# I got my ticket for the long way round
0:04:31 > 0:04:35# The one with the prettiest view
0:04:35 > 0:04:37# It's got mountains it's got rivers
0:04:37 > 0:04:39# It's got woods that'll give you shivers
0:04:39 > 0:04:42# But it sure would be prettier with you
0:04:42 > 0:04:44- # When I'm gone - When I'm gone
0:04:44 > 0:04:47- # When I'm gone - When I'm gone
0:04:47 > 0:04:51# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. #
0:04:51 > 0:04:54This programme contains some strong language.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Well, it's exciting about this flat.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03- We both got one!- Lovely.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06They were made by mountain people.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09- That's nice to know.- Mm!
0:05:09 > 0:05:11HE CHORTLES
0:05:11 > 0:05:13- PUTTING ON SCOTTISH ACCENT - "Your mum"!
0:05:14 > 0:05:15HE CHUCKLES
0:05:15 > 0:05:17It's the way you say it, mate!
0:05:17 > 0:05:19"How's your mum?"
0:05:19 > 0:05:23"Do you think she needs to get out a bit more?"
0:05:27 > 0:05:28No, but how is she, is she OK?
0:05:29 > 0:05:30"Is she OK?"
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Can you do an impression of me?
0:05:36 > 0:05:40- No!- No!- No.- No, no, go on!
0:05:40 > 0:05:43- STILL IMITATING MICHAEL - I don't mind!
0:05:43 > 0:05:47- IN SILLY ENGLISH ACCENT - Hello, I'm Jason!
0:05:48 > 0:05:49That's nothing like me!
0:05:49 > 0:05:52- STILL IN SCOTTISH ACCENT - Say something else!
0:05:54 > 0:05:57Hello, I'm Jason, and...
0:05:57 > 0:05:58JASON LAUGHING
0:05:58 > 0:06:01I'm wearing a silly 'at!
0:06:01 > 0:06:02BOTH CHUCKLING
0:06:05 > 0:06:06What d'you mean?
0:06:09 > 0:06:11You excited about this flat, then?
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Yeah.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15It'll be like...
0:06:15 > 0:06:18It'll be nice doing our, like, own thing, and we won't have
0:06:18 > 0:06:21to worry about, like, waking anyone up in the morning.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Oh, I don't mind. I'm always up.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25Or, like, hurrying in the shower.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28You don't have to hurry, there's plenty of hot water.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Or, like, not using the toilet sometimes
0:06:31 > 0:06:34because someone's done a really smelly poo.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41- Put that down, love.- Yes.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Jason's sorting out the barbecue,
0:06:46 > 0:06:49but I've got some dips here to keep you going.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51- Dips?- Yeah.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54- What's she saying now? - She's got dips!- She's got what?
0:06:54 > 0:06:58- Dips.- Dips?- Dips!
0:06:58 > 0:07:00- What's dips?!- Oh, you know, we've had them here before,
0:07:00 > 0:07:03it's, like, different sauces and you dip your crisps in them.
0:07:03 > 0:07:04It's like a what?
0:07:04 > 0:07:06It's like sauces.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Dips?
0:07:08 > 0:07:12- Never heard of it.- No, you've had them here before, Maureen.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15- You put your crisps in it. - What crisps?
0:07:15 > 0:07:17They're not fucking crisps!
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Is there anything else I can get for you?
0:07:19 > 0:07:22- You got raisins, Cathy? - Raisins? Erm....
0:07:22 > 0:07:23Oh, forget it.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26- Has she got any raisins?- Don't ask.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Imagine a house without raisins!
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Ah, no.
0:07:36 > 0:07:37Eurgh!
0:07:41 > 0:07:42Try that.
0:07:48 > 0:07:49Oh!
0:07:49 > 0:07:51What is it?
0:07:51 > 0:07:53It's...dips.
0:07:53 > 0:07:54THEY SIGH
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Oh...it's revolting.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07Oh, Jesus.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Oh. Everything all right out there?
0:08:13 > 0:08:17- Yeah. No, erm, your e-mail...- Yeah.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25- Very nice.- Thanks!
0:08:27 > 0:08:29No, it's nice, that garden centre.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32- Yeah, I-I thought it looked, you know...- It sounds...
0:08:34 > 0:08:36..pathetic, but...
0:08:36 > 0:08:40Do you remember when me and Abi were getting divorced,
0:08:40 > 0:08:43and...there was a guy...
0:08:43 > 0:08:45DOOR SLAMS
0:08:45 > 0:08:48- Fire's going.- Ah.
0:08:48 > 0:08:49Babe?
0:08:49 > 0:08:51JASON CHUCKLES
0:08:51 > 0:08:54- I'll get the beers. - Oh, thanks, mate.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57They were made by mountain people.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59- Yeah.- Yeah, they've actually got the name of the person
0:08:59 > 0:09:01- who made them on the label.- Mm.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04I think mine was made by a child, because the handwriting's terrible.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06- Aw, that's cute. - DOORBELL RINGS
0:09:06 > 0:09:07Yeah!
0:09:11 > 0:09:13That'll be from the swimming.
0:09:13 > 0:09:14Yeah, could be.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25- They reckon it gets sunny later.- Mm.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29- Does my hair look OK? - Yes, it's fantastic.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36They might be round the back.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40- Hello!- Hello! Come in, come in!
0:09:40 > 0:09:44- Nice day?- Yeah, we took Danielle to the golf club, didn't we?- Yes.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Oh! Hello, love.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49- I like your hair.- Thanks.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52- And...she's had her tongue pierced. - Oh!- Come on, Dan.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Oh, ouch!
0:09:54 > 0:09:57- We took her to have it done, didn't we?- Yes.- Hello, Dan!
0:09:57 > 0:10:00- You look amazing! - Go in and say hello, go on.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Hi, Jason.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06- She's just different.- Yeah. - Isn't she?
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Oh, she's very different. Yes.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13This is Derek's daughter, Danielle.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15- Jesus!- What the fuck is that?
0:10:15 > 0:10:17These are my dad's parents.
0:10:17 > 0:10:18What, Derek's got a daughter?
0:10:18 > 0:10:21- Is it all right if Danielle uses your loo?- Derek's got a daughter?!
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Yeah, go ahead, love. You don't need to ask.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Derek's got a daughter?!
0:10:26 > 0:10:29Since when did Derek have a daughter?!
0:10:32 > 0:10:33I think some of the older people
0:10:33 > 0:10:36find it hard to deal with the punk attitude.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Yeah, course they do. It's anarchic.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43- SPEAKING LOUDLY - He's got three kids, Nan! You've met them!
0:10:43 > 0:10:46- Who are the mothers?- Oh, God knows.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49- Some cheap tarts who couldn't keep their legs shut.- Yeah.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52HE GRUMBLES
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Why did Derek have to have kids?
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Of all the people to make more of,
0:10:58 > 0:11:00why did they have to make more of Derek?
0:11:00 > 0:11:02I'm too hot.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08There are all these ugly people out there, having ugly sex
0:11:08 > 0:11:09with each other,
0:11:09 > 0:11:13- bringing their ugly kids into the world. - HE SCOFFS
0:11:13 > 0:11:15It's a tragedy.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17It's not fair on the rest of us.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20I mean, what are they thinking?!
0:11:20 > 0:11:23- Family barbecue?- Yeah!- Oof.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26I bet that reminds you of your dead husband.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30It's nice of you to take Danielle to the golf club this morning.
0:11:30 > 0:11:31You got vodka?
0:11:31 > 0:11:35- Yes, and tonic, Coke... - Oh, I won't be needing that.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52- Men round a barbecue!- Yes!
0:11:55 > 0:11:57I feel like we should be talking about, like, football or cars
0:11:57 > 0:12:00- or something, like Dave used to. - Mm.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03Or, like, er, what's your favourite sexual position and that.
0:12:07 > 0:12:08Yeah...
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Well, I'll start.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Woman on top, because you get to see her knockers.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21That's pretty normal, isn't it?
0:12:21 > 0:12:23- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:12:24 > 0:12:25Jason?
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Are we all doing it?
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Looks like it.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33OK. Well...
0:12:33 > 0:12:35I know it's not very la-di-da,
0:12:35 > 0:12:38but I think there's a lot to be said for the missionary position.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43You know where you are with it.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45You're in and out, there's no theatrics,
0:12:45 > 0:12:47you don't get cramp.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49And also, you get to maintain eye contact throughout.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53Yeah.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57Michael? Favourite sexual position?
0:12:59 > 0:13:02It's been so long, I've forgotten most of them!
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Er...
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Oh, I'd probably be just as happy with a cuddle.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13I'd give you a cuddle.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15I know you would, mate.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Wouldn't be the same though, would it?
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Nah.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25- Well, that felt good!- Yeah.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Yeah, but I'm really excited.
0:13:34 > 0:13:38I can't wait to have the space to unpack some of my crates,
0:13:38 > 0:13:39get all my stuff out.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Put out my clowns, on, like, a sideboard or something.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47Sorry, love, erm...
0:13:47 > 0:13:49I've got a collection of clowns.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51Right!
0:13:53 > 0:13:58Most of them are really small, but some of them are absolutely massive.
0:14:04 > 0:14:05But can you two keep a secret?
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Yeah. Course we can, can't we?
0:14:10 > 0:14:13- I'll be in there.- Right.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26- SHE SNORTS - How funny.
0:14:26 > 0:14:27I've just had a text message from O2
0:14:27 > 0:14:31saying they want to offer me an upgrade.
0:14:31 > 0:14:32Nice.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36They're desperate to keep me.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39You going to get one?
0:14:47 > 0:14:50No, but Jason's being weird.
0:14:50 > 0:14:51About us moving out.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54- I think he just doesn't trust this estate agent...- No, it's...
0:14:54 > 0:14:57- Oh!- Sorry!
0:14:59 > 0:15:01I just touched your bosom!
0:15:01 > 0:15:04- Yeah!- I don't know if this is an inappropriate thing to say
0:15:04 > 0:15:07to your boyfriend's mum, but you've got really lovely bosoms!
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Have another feel.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14I'm joking.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Thank God for that!
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Because I actually had this dream where you had this...
0:15:20 > 0:15:21Yeah, are you sure you should be telling me?
0:15:23 > 0:15:24No.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30I'm glad I took her to the golf club, because it's nice for her
0:15:30 > 0:15:32- to see how well her dad's doing. - Yeah.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36And while Pauline was in the loo, I actually introduced Danielle
0:15:36 > 0:15:38to Sir Nicholas, who chairs the committee.
0:15:38 > 0:15:39You did what?
0:15:39 > 0:15:42Yeah! We showed him her piercing.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44- You did fucking what?! - DOOR SLAMS
0:15:45 > 0:15:47- The burgers are going on.- Great.
0:15:49 > 0:15:53Dave always used to put them on first, because...
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Because everyone gets hungry, don't they,
0:15:56 > 0:15:58waiting for the chicken to cook?
0:15:58 > 0:16:00That sounds like a saying, doesn't it?!
0:16:00 > 0:16:02There's a lot of truth in that.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07I'm sorry about the e-mail.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09No! Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
0:16:09 > 0:16:10It's just me.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13Just me being...pathetic.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16It's just...that guy still works there.
0:16:16 > 0:16:17Oh, God. Yeah.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Some places get sort of...
0:16:20 > 0:16:22- poisoned by memories.- Yeah.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24By our age, you can barely go anywhere.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26It's been 11 years!
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Yeah, but that doesn't stop you feeling something.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31No. No, no, it doesn't.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35But you were just sending me a link to a garden centre.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38- Yeah, yeah, it's just a link, that's all.- Right.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43You didn't want me to come, or...?
0:16:43 > 0:16:45- No, no, no, of course not, no.- No?
0:16:45 > 0:16:47I wouldn't want to put you out.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49No. Of course. Great.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51I'll just go, er...
0:16:57 > 0:16:59If my kid looked like that, Derek,
0:16:59 > 0:17:03I'd either, A, lock her in a cupboard,
0:17:03 > 0:17:05or, B, choke her to death.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07- Reg!- That's a bit harsh!- Well...
0:17:07 > 0:17:10You shouldn't judge women on their appearance.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Well, you've got to judge them on something.
0:17:12 > 0:17:16- Can I put that in the bin? - Ah! Now...
0:17:16 > 0:17:18- That goes in the bin, yeah?- Yeah.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Right. Excuse me.
0:17:23 > 0:17:24Pauline?
0:17:27 > 0:17:28Pauline?
0:17:28 > 0:17:30< Finished with the crisps, Reg?
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Pauline!
0:17:39 > 0:17:41HE CHUCKLES
0:17:42 > 0:17:45- You all right, darling? You seen Pauline?- I think she's out there.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48- Um, look at this.- One minute, Dan.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Right, Pauline.
0:17:52 > 0:17:53This is a plastic tray of dips
0:17:53 > 0:17:55and I've - well, we've all had some,
0:17:55 > 0:17:58but it's finished - and Cathy takes it off me,
0:17:58 > 0:18:01- and she says she's going to put it in the bin.- OK.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04A piece of hard plastic, in the bin.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05- Yes?- Because, the other night,
0:18:05 > 0:18:08you said hard plastic goes in the recycling.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10- I said it goes in the bin. - No, you didn't!
0:18:10 > 0:18:12- You said it goes in the recycling! - No, Derek,
0:18:12 > 0:18:15YOU said it goes in the recycling, because it was me that had to
0:18:15 > 0:18:17take it out of the recycling and put it in the bin.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Oh, yeah.
0:18:26 > 0:18:27- QUIETLY:- Bollocks.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Hey, Dad, look at this.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41- Yeah, that's great, love. - The singer's in my class.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49- You all right, Derek? - Yeah. Really good, yeah.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51- Top of the world, mate.- Hm!
0:19:03 > 0:19:06- You OK? What was all that about? - Oh, nothing, no.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09- Just wanted to put it in the bin for you.- Oh, thanks.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11He also recycles his toothbrushes.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13I mean, honestly. I wonder why I put up with him.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Oh, God! Shit! No, Pauline!
0:19:20 > 0:19:21- Satan?- Yeah.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28But why would you want to be the bride of Satan?
0:19:28 > 0:19:30He'd be, like, the worst husband ever.
0:19:30 > 0:19:31I just hate all humans.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35No!
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Yeah.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40- Blimey.- Yeah.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44That's so many people, though.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47They're all scum.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52What about your mum and dad?
0:19:52 > 0:19:55Well, I definitely hate my mum,
0:19:55 > 0:19:57because she's basically a bitch.
0:19:58 > 0:19:59Well, when you're older,
0:19:59 > 0:20:02you can show your mum and move into your own place.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04- PAULINE:- Derek! - Yeah.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07- Do you like... - Derek!
0:20:07 > 0:20:10Oh, I'm just trying to think of someone that's impossible to hate.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Do you like...
0:20:15 > 0:20:17..Holly Willoughby?
0:20:18 > 0:20:20I hate her.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Shut up!
0:20:22 > 0:20:24- I didn't break it.- No, she didn't.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27- It broke beneath her.- No.- No. - It was already broken.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Broken for years.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31- Yes.- God, I'm so sorry, Pauline.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33- It isn't an excuse to touch me. - Sorry.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36You might want to get yourself to the garden centre, Cath,
0:20:36 > 0:20:37get some new chairs.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41- Oh, OK, yeah.- Come on, then, babe, let's sit you down.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43- Don't call me babe.- Sorry, angel.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45Oh, for God's sake, Derek, I've got a name.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48- They all right?- Um...
0:20:48 > 0:20:51One of my chairs broke and Pauline went flying.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55- I'd liked to have seen that. - Me too!
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Here, you might want this.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04- It's a good offer.- Oh, yeah! Yeah, thanks. Thank you. Er...
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Yeah, it's funny, that. They're...
0:21:10 > 0:21:15..saying I should go to a garden centre and get some new chairs!
0:21:15 > 0:21:17- Yeah?- Yeah!
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Well, I mean, maybe they're right.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22I mean, maybe it would be good to get some new chairs.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25I mean, that's still the stuff that me and Dave got,
0:21:25 > 0:21:27when we moved in, so...
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Do you fancy, erm...
0:21:35 > 0:21:37You fancy helping?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Yeah.
0:21:41 > 0:21:45- I mean, we-we wouldn't have to go to that one.- No, no.- Yeah!
0:21:45 > 0:21:48We could grab a bite to eat, you know,
0:21:48 > 0:21:51if we happen to be there at lunchtime, and...
0:21:52 > 0:21:57- Yeah, OK.- And if we don't find any decent furniture on the first go,
0:21:57 > 0:22:01I mean, there's plenty of different garden centres, aren't there?
0:22:01 > 0:22:04Well, obviously, I'd have to...
0:22:04 > 0:22:08- check my diary. - Oh, yeah. No, me too, obviously.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Make sure I'm not supposed to be...
0:22:10 > 0:22:14sitting on the sofa or looking in the fridge.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22I don't know if we should tell anyone.
0:22:25 > 0:22:26No.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28No.
0:22:28 > 0:22:32- I mean, it's just... It's just going to a garden centre, isn't it?- Yeah!
0:22:32 > 0:22:35- It's just a garden centre!- Yeah!
0:22:36 > 0:22:37DOOR OPENS
0:22:37 > 0:22:40- Burgers are ready!- Oh.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47- You put the burgers on first and you eat them.- OK.
0:22:47 > 0:22:48So you're not getting hungry
0:22:48 > 0:22:51while you're waiting for the chicken to cook.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54- Blowing my mind.- And your dad thought of that himself?- Yeah.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57- That's who you get your brains from. - That guy was a genius.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59- Oh, that's my one.- Oh, sorry.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01I was just telling them about Dad's barbecue tactics.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04- Oh, yeah, he used to put the burgers...- Shut up a minute.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06He put the burgers on first...
0:23:06 > 0:23:08They're talking about David.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10- Whassat?- Outside.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13They're talking about David.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18- He loved a barbecue.- Yeah!
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Yeah.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49You going outside?
0:23:50 > 0:23:51No.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53I hate burgers.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Aren't you going to go outside?
0:24:26 > 0:24:28You've dropped a stitch.
0:24:28 > 0:24:29Have I?
0:24:35 > 0:24:36Here.
0:24:39 > 0:24:44And then - and only then - he put the chicken on.
0:24:45 > 0:24:46- Yeah, I remember. - It's beautiful.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49- Yeah.- Take a seat, mate.- Cheers.
0:24:49 > 0:24:53- And he was the king of the barbecue banter.- Mm.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56- You and him had some great banter, didn't you?- Yeah, yeah.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00- His impressions of Michael were legendary. Weren't they, Mum?- Yeah!
0:25:00 > 0:25:01New question.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05- At what point did he put the sausages on?- Oh.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08- The sausages, now, that's a whole other story.- Oh, fantastic!
0:25:08 > 0:25:10I can't wait to hear this!
0:25:10 > 0:25:13My dad, your grandad, he was a legend at cooking sausages.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15- Was he?- Oh, he was a master at it.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17- He knew all the tricks.- My dad,
0:25:17 > 0:25:20he was all about the regularity of the heat.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22- Oh, it is all about the heat, definitely.- Yeah.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24- But it's also about the cold.- Go on.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26SPEECH FADES
0:25:31 > 0:25:35# I got my ticket for the long way round
0:25:35 > 0:25:38# Two bottle of whisky for the way
0:25:38 > 0:25:42# And I sure would like some sweet company
0:25:42 > 0:25:45# And I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say?
0:25:45 > 0:25:50# When I'm gone When I'm gone
0:25:50 > 0:25:53# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
0:25:53 > 0:25:55# You're gonna miss me by my hair
0:25:55 > 0:25:57# You're gonna miss me everywhere
0:25:57 > 0:26:00# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. #