September

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language.

0:00:04 > 0:00:08- It's a country beef stew - whatever that means - with mushrooms and shallots.- Shallots?- Yeah.

0:00:08 > 0:00:10And suddenly she's too good for an onion.

0:00:10 > 0:00:12- But I've done you a pork chop. - What are you having it with?

0:00:12 > 0:00:15- Rice.- Rice?

0:00:15 > 0:00:17- You seen my phone? - Yeah, it's on the table.

0:00:17 > 0:00:19- It's not.- Rice?!

0:00:19 > 0:00:20Yeah, what's wrong with rice?

0:00:20 > 0:00:22Oh, you're kidding me, Cathy.

0:00:22 > 0:00:24Please. Rice?

0:00:24 > 0:00:25- It's there, love.- Where?

0:00:25 > 0:00:29- It's there.- Where? Seriously, Mum, it's not here.

0:00:29 > 0:00:31Oh, yeah.

0:00:31 > 0:00:33Can you clear the table for your grandad, love?

0:00:33 > 0:00:35Yeah, yeah.

0:00:35 > 0:00:38You know, I once saw a man who had it with a chicken.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Are we still talking about rice?

0:00:40 > 0:00:43I mean, it's bad enough killing the thing,

0:00:43 > 0:00:45but then to serve its lovely corpse on a bed of rice...

0:00:45 > 0:00:47It should be banned.

0:00:47 > 0:00:48It's depraved.

0:00:48 > 0:00:50I don't know how you people can eat it.

0:00:50 > 0:00:52- What's he talking about?- Rice.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54Hm.

0:00:54 > 0:00:56Is he worried about Maureen? Is she OK?

0:00:56 > 0:00:58Yeah, the operation went OK

0:00:58 > 0:01:01- and she's back on the ward having a sleep, so...- Oh.

0:01:01 > 0:01:03I made her a card.

0:01:04 > 0:01:05Oh...

0:01:07 > 0:01:09..that's lovely, Kelly.

0:01:10 > 0:01:13And how long did you spend on that?

0:01:13 > 0:01:14Ages.

0:01:14 > 0:01:17I got up early this morning to start it

0:01:17 > 0:01:19and then I did it on my lunch break and then I had it by my till

0:01:19 > 0:01:22and then I finished it when I got home this afternoon.

0:01:22 > 0:01:23That's lovely.

0:01:23 > 0:01:27And how easy would it be to sort of, you know, remove or change

0:01:27 > 0:01:31some of those letters?

0:01:31 > 0:01:33Oh! Really hard.

0:01:35 > 0:01:37It's perfect.

0:01:37 > 0:01:41Thanks, Cathy! I'm going to go and make an envelope.

0:01:41 > 0:01:43What time do you want to eat, love?

0:01:43 > 0:01:45I've only got to put the rice on.

0:01:45 > 0:01:46Erm...

0:01:49 > 0:01:50Here, let me do that.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55You've only gotta ask.

0:01:55 > 0:01:56Thanks.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00Well, what time's Michael getting here?

0:02:00 > 0:02:02Erm...

0:02:03 > 0:02:05We're having his mum's pans.

0:02:05 > 0:02:07Didn't he tell you?

0:02:07 > 0:02:10I think his phone hasn't been working, so...

0:02:10 > 0:02:13Well, whenever we eat, we should eat

0:02:13 > 0:02:15when he's not here, cos he'll only get in the way.

0:02:15 > 0:02:16Yeah.

0:02:16 > 0:02:17- Good point.- Hm.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21Erm...

0:02:29 > 0:02:33# I got my ticket for the long way round

0:02:33 > 0:02:36# Two bottle whisky for the way

0:02:36 > 0:02:40# And I sure would like some sweet company

0:02:40 > 0:02:44# Oh, I'm leaving tomorrow What do you say?

0:02:44 > 0:02:47- # When I'm gone - When I'm gone

0:02:47 > 0:02:48- # When I'm gone - When I'm gone

0:02:48 > 0:02:51# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone

0:02:51 > 0:02:54# You're gonna miss me by my hair

0:02:54 > 0:02:56# You're gonna miss me everywhere

0:02:56 > 0:03:00# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone

0:03:00 > 0:03:04# I got my ticket for the long way round

0:03:04 > 0:03:07# The one with the prettiest view

0:03:07 > 0:03:10# It's got mountains, it's got rivers

0:03:10 > 0:03:12# It's got woods that will give you shivers

0:03:12 > 0:03:15# But it sure will be prettier with you

0:03:15 > 0:03:18- # When I'm gone - When I'm gone

0:03:18 > 0:03:20- # When I'm gone - When I'm gone

0:03:20 > 0:03:23# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. #

0:03:29 > 0:03:31Oh, hello, Michael.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33Oh, thanks for bringing them.

0:03:33 > 0:03:34Yeah - I'm not stopping, I...

0:03:34 > 0:03:37I enjoyed your speech at your mum's funeral.

0:03:37 > 0:03:39Oh, good.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41Or not enjoyed it, but, like...

0:03:41 > 0:03:44It really darked me out.

0:03:44 > 0:03:45It really put the shits up me.

0:03:47 > 0:03:50All right, mate? It's been a while.

0:03:51 > 0:03:53- Did you get my e-card? - Yeah.

0:03:53 > 0:03:55- Did you watch it with the sound up? - Yeah.

0:03:55 > 0:03:57- Thanks. - It's the least I could do, mate.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59The least I could do.

0:04:00 > 0:04:01Mum! Michael's here!

0:04:01 > 0:04:04Erm, I'm not... I've not come to see your mum, I'm...

0:04:04 > 0:04:07- PHONE RINGS - Oh, yeah, we've got the flat!

0:04:15 > 0:04:16Oh.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19- Hey.- Hello.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22Sorry, Kelly asked me to drop some things off...

0:04:22 > 0:04:23Oh, lovely.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25Thanks.

0:04:25 > 0:04:28It's just some of my mum's pots and pans.

0:04:29 > 0:04:31Didn't use them much.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34She got them for half price, off the telly.

0:04:36 > 0:04:38- Is Derek...?- Yeah.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40Yeah, they're coming for dinner.

0:04:40 > 0:04:42So just put the rice on

0:04:42 > 0:04:45and boiling Reg's peas for ten hours...

0:04:45 > 0:04:46THEY CHUCKLE

0:04:47 > 0:04:52- Thanks for coming to the funeral. - No, it's...

0:04:52 > 0:04:54I'm sorry I didn't...

0:04:54 > 0:04:55No, you were busy.

0:04:55 > 0:04:57Yeah.

0:04:59 > 0:05:02How have you been? Good summer?

0:05:02 > 0:05:05Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07But I need to rush off so I'll...

0:05:07 > 0:05:11I'll, I'll call Derek and see when he is, er...

0:05:11 > 0:05:13PHONE CHIMES

0:05:14 > 0:05:16Find out what time he is...

0:05:16 > 0:05:18AUTOMATED: The time is 7:10.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20- Good evening, Cathy. - How did I do that?

0:05:21 > 0:05:22No idea.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34I'm outside your house.

0:05:34 > 0:05:36Listen.

0:05:36 > 0:05:37HORN TOOTS

0:05:37 > 0:05:38I know. Really funny.

0:05:40 > 0:05:41- Bye. - It's like being in a zoo...

0:05:41 > 0:05:44- Now, remember, look concerned. - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46Yeah, but you've got to show it in your eyes, don't just...

0:05:46 > 0:05:47Oh, for God's sake, Derek.

0:05:47 > 0:05:50I'm not going to take instructions from...fucking...

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Hello.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54Hello, come in.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56How's Maureen?

0:05:56 > 0:05:57Yeah.

0:05:57 > 0:06:00She's, erm, she's out, she's just sleeping, so...

0:06:00 > 0:06:01- Reg OK?- Yeah...

0:06:01 > 0:06:03Oh, that's such a relief.

0:06:03 > 0:06:06I've been so, so worried about those wonderful, wonderful people.

0:06:06 > 0:06:10- She's been inconsolable. - I've barely slept.

0:06:10 > 0:06:12Well, you both look very nice.

0:06:12 > 0:06:14Oh. Really? Ha.

0:06:14 > 0:06:17- I haven't done anything different. - No, me neither.

0:06:17 > 0:06:19Oh, wow, look at you two.

0:06:19 > 0:06:20- You've made an effort.- Yeah.

0:06:20 > 0:06:22That's what I've just said.

0:06:22 > 0:06:24Honestly, I don't know what you're talking about.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27No. I always dress like this on a Wednesday.

0:06:27 > 0:06:29- "Made an effort"!- Ha! No.

0:06:29 > 0:06:30Not at all.

0:06:30 > 0:06:35Oh, hi, guys, how was your meeting with Pauline's ex-husband?

0:06:38 > 0:06:40Why do you know about that?

0:06:40 > 0:06:42I follow Derek on Twitter.

0:06:43 > 0:06:46It's nice for people to know what I'm up to.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49That looked like a nice cup of tea this morning.

0:06:49 > 0:06:51Yeah, it was. It was lovely.

0:06:51 > 0:06:53And really nice of you

0:06:53 > 0:06:56to send your thoughts to the victims of the earthquake.

0:06:56 > 0:06:59It's important they know I'm thinking of them.

0:07:00 > 0:07:02Is Michael here?

0:07:02 > 0:07:04- Yeah, he's in the kitchen. - Great.

0:07:04 > 0:07:07Why are we seeing Michael?

0:07:07 > 0:07:11- Derek?- Mum! Do you see my shirt?! I just chucked it down!

0:07:12 > 0:07:15Erm! Yeah! Oh, there it is!

0:07:15 > 0:07:18Would you mind giving it another iron for tomorrow?

0:07:18 > 0:07:20- It's been on the floor. - No, I'd love to!

0:07:20 > 0:07:22Thanks!

0:07:24 > 0:07:31- This is the toaster.- Oh, yeah, nice, that's a nice one.

0:07:33 > 0:07:35Sorry, Derek, take me through this.

0:07:35 > 0:07:39We're having Michael's dead mother's toaster?

0:07:39 > 0:07:40It does four bits.

0:07:42 > 0:07:45It's a dead woman's toaster.

0:07:45 > 0:07:47WHISPERS: It was a Best Buy on Which.

0:07:47 > 0:07:49I don't know what you're saying.

0:07:49 > 0:07:51It's Best Buy on Which.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53I only got it for her last Christmas.

0:07:55 > 0:07:57Are we paying him?

0:07:59 > 0:08:00What else you got?

0:08:02 > 0:08:05- So, back to work next week.- Yeah.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07Would you say - in your opinion -

0:08:07 > 0:08:11that you've made the most of your summer holidays?

0:08:11 > 0:08:14No, love, probably not.

0:08:14 > 0:08:16You should've gone to Laserquest.

0:08:16 > 0:08:18That's true...

0:08:20 > 0:08:23Is it worse being alone in the summer

0:08:23 > 0:08:24than being alone in the winter?

0:08:24 > 0:08:27It can be. Yeah.

0:08:27 > 0:08:29The days are a lot longer, aren't they?

0:08:29 > 0:08:31Yeah.

0:08:31 > 0:08:32Though...

0:08:32 > 0:08:34Little fact.

0:08:34 > 0:08:37The days are actually the same length in the summer

0:08:37 > 0:08:39as they are in the winter, in terms of hours.

0:08:39 > 0:08:41It's just the amount of daylight in the summer

0:08:41 > 0:08:44that makes the days seem longer.

0:08:44 > 0:08:46Oh, OK.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48Yeah. Little fact.

0:08:51 > 0:08:52I bought a lamp.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59Oh, it's lovely.

0:08:59 > 0:09:01It's shabby chic.

0:09:01 > 0:09:03- Do you like shabby chic? - Yeah.

0:09:03 > 0:09:05- Got a load of it in our shed. - Have you?

0:09:05 > 0:09:08Let us know if there's anything else you want to get rid of.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11Yeah, well, you know, there's tons of cups, plates, cutlery.

0:09:11 > 0:09:14- Oh, great, well we'll definitely... - Derek.

0:09:14 > 0:09:16Is it all right if I see Michael to his car?

0:09:16 > 0:09:18Whatever.

0:09:18 > 0:09:19I think that's a yes.

0:09:19 > 0:09:20Sorry, she's, er...

0:09:25 > 0:09:27She's really picky about what she eats off.

0:09:27 > 0:09:30It can't be made of plastic or paper and she's got these rules

0:09:30 > 0:09:33about what meals she will and won't eat from a bowl.

0:09:35 > 0:09:38You got that place in Spain yet?

0:09:41 > 0:09:44- How was it?- It was good. - Watch that.- Yeah.

0:09:44 > 0:09:47I can say his name now and everything.

0:09:47 > 0:09:48Geoff.

0:09:48 > 0:09:50See?

0:09:50 > 0:09:52- Well done, mate.- Geoff.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55"Pauline's husband, soon to be ex-husband, Geoff".

0:09:55 > 0:09:58Easy. No, it was good.

0:09:58 > 0:09:59I wore these.

0:10:00 > 0:10:02- Make me look clever.- Oh, yeah.

0:10:02 > 0:10:05Waistcoat, obviously.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07I shook his hand.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09I chatted to his lawyer's assistant.

0:10:09 > 0:10:12And I managed to get through the whole meeting without crying,

0:10:12 > 0:10:14or not crying but, like, having to quickly

0:10:14 > 0:10:15get up and leave the room and cry.

0:10:15 > 0:10:18I'm really pleased to hear it, mate. And you look great, so...

0:10:18 > 0:10:20Oh. Thanks, mate.

0:10:20 > 0:10:23Yeah. I do my best. I do my best.

0:10:23 > 0:10:24LAUGHTER

0:10:24 > 0:10:26What am I, an eight? A nine?

0:10:26 > 0:10:29LAUGHTER

0:10:29 > 0:10:30Which?

0:10:32 > 0:10:34Nine. Definitely.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Yeah.

0:10:36 > 0:10:39Yeah. I mean, I know I'm not a ten.

0:10:46 > 0:10:48She's in hospital, you see.

0:10:49 > 0:10:50Yes, I know.

0:10:50 > 0:10:52It's terrible.

0:10:52 > 0:10:54She hasn't been the same since our David died.

0:10:54 > 0:10:55Mmm.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59It's very close tonight, isn't it?

0:10:59 > 0:11:00She won't talk about it.

0:11:00 > 0:11:03But you can see that her mind takes her somewhere

0:11:03 > 0:11:05and it's hard to get her back.

0:11:07 > 0:11:08What a pickle.

0:11:08 > 0:11:11I think she's spent the past couple of years trying not to

0:11:11 > 0:11:15think about it...but you have to, don't you, eventually?

0:11:16 > 0:11:19I remember when I met her.

0:11:19 > 0:11:22I'd just seen Frankie Laine at the Palladium...

0:11:22 > 0:11:23You seen the, er...?

0:11:23 > 0:11:25Yeah. I'm just going to clear it up.

0:11:25 > 0:11:26THEY CHUCKLE

0:11:40 > 0:11:41You all right, Uncle Derek?

0:11:41 > 0:11:43Yeah.

0:11:44 > 0:11:48I just thought of something funny I could have said to your mum

0:11:48 > 0:11:50about the dog poo. Wondering if I should go back and say it?

0:11:55 > 0:11:57It's too late, mate.

0:11:57 > 0:11:59Really?

0:11:59 > 0:12:00Yeah.

0:12:03 > 0:12:05You're right.

0:12:05 > 0:12:06The moment's gone.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08It has, you're right.

0:12:08 > 0:12:10This always happens.

0:12:10 > 0:12:12- I'm actually a lot funnier than anybody knows.- You coming up?

0:12:12 > 0:12:15Yeah, yeah. I need a massive slash.

0:12:15 > 0:12:16Eugh.

0:12:18 > 0:12:21Well, thanks for helping me scrape shit off my drive.

0:12:21 > 0:12:23No, it's a pleasure.

0:12:25 > 0:12:27Right, well, better let you get on.

0:12:28 > 0:12:32- I've got to get back to mine, lots to do.- Oh, I bet, yeah.

0:12:32 > 0:12:33Me too. Really busy.

0:12:33 > 0:12:34Yeah.

0:12:34 > 0:12:37Well, it was nice to see you.

0:12:37 > 0:12:38Yeah, you too.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46You had any problems with your phone?

0:12:49 > 0:12:50Erm. No,

0:12:50 > 0:12:52I don't think so.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55Oh, erm...

0:13:01 > 0:13:03No...eh...

0:13:03 > 0:13:08- I think what happened was my credit ran out...- Oh.

0:13:08 > 0:13:11..and so things that were meant to come through didn't,

0:13:11 > 0:13:15and I've just not been able to reply to them.

0:13:15 > 0:13:18Or maybe I missed some calls...

0:13:21 > 0:13:25The girls, er, stayed on after the funeral.

0:13:25 > 0:13:26Yeah, it was nice.

0:13:27 > 0:13:33And...their mum's new fella came over.

0:13:33 > 0:13:34How was he?

0:13:35 > 0:13:37- Really, really handsome. - Was he?

0:13:37 > 0:13:39Beautiful.

0:13:39 > 0:13:41Physically fit.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43About the same age as her.

0:13:43 > 0:13:45- Dresses well.- Oh.

0:13:45 > 0:13:47So, a lot like you, then.

0:13:47 > 0:13:49Oh, she could barely tell us apart.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53Did you have a good summer?

0:13:53 > 0:13:55Oh, yeah, it's been crazy.

0:13:56 > 0:14:00Kelly's taken me to Westfield - eight times.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03Got the paddling pool out,

0:14:03 > 0:14:06sat in that for a while, till I realised how sad it was.

0:14:07 > 0:14:09What else have I done?

0:14:09 > 0:14:12Sorted out few of my kitchen cupboards,

0:14:12 > 0:14:16defrosted the freezer, went to IKEA to buy a box,

0:14:16 > 0:14:20and ended up spending 200 quid... Oh, and the other day

0:14:20 > 0:14:25I went round the house and sprayed WD-40 on all of my hinges.

0:14:25 > 0:14:26Living the dream!

0:14:26 > 0:14:29Oh, yeah. No, it was OK, really.

0:14:32 > 0:14:35Had a nice trip to Southend... Erm...

0:14:37 > 0:14:38Yeah.

0:14:39 > 0:14:42We went to Robin's. For pie and mash.

0:14:42 > 0:14:45- Oh, did you?- Yeah. It's still there.

0:14:56 > 0:14:59Right, well, I'd better go before the dump shuts.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01Yeah, I'd better go and check on the rice.

0:15:01 > 0:15:03Yeah.

0:15:05 > 0:15:10Unless you wanted to stay and have something to eat? There's plenty...

0:15:12 > 0:15:15No, no. I've got some stuff in the freezer.

0:15:15 > 0:15:17Lasagne or carbonara.

0:15:17 > 0:15:19They all taste the same, so...

0:15:19 > 0:15:20Yeah.

0:15:28 > 0:15:31Are you getting a place in Spain?

0:15:31 > 0:15:34Yeah. Thinking about it.

0:15:34 > 0:15:36If we can sell my mum's place.

0:15:37 > 0:15:41Means I can pop over and see the girls more...

0:15:42 > 0:15:44..now that there's nothing to keep me here.

0:15:48 > 0:15:50Enjoy your dinner.

0:15:55 > 0:15:58You should get a contract for your phone.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00It works out cheaper.

0:16:00 > 0:16:04Ah, it means going in to one of those stupid shops

0:16:04 > 0:16:07and talking to a 20-year-old that treats me like I'm brain-dead.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33- By the entrance? - Yeah.

0:16:33 > 0:16:36You take all the fresh bread, put it by the entrance,

0:16:36 > 0:16:39and then imagine the smell when you go in.

0:16:43 > 0:16:45Everyone would buy bread.

0:16:45 > 0:16:46You see?

0:16:47 > 0:16:49Dinner's ready!

0:16:49 > 0:16:50Coming!

0:16:51 > 0:16:54Oh, yeah, that was it.

0:16:56 > 0:16:59We need to pay the deposit tonight and the first month's rent.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01Oh, that's true. Yeah.

0:17:01 > 0:17:03We don't want to lose the flat.

0:17:03 > 0:17:05No way.

0:17:08 > 0:17:09Your mum liked the lamp.

0:17:09 > 0:17:11Great.

0:17:15 > 0:17:17BELL RINGS

0:17:17 > 0:17:19- Can somebody get that?! - Can somebody get that?!

0:17:19 > 0:17:23Sorry, what is it exactly that we're eating?

0:17:23 > 0:17:26It's a country beef stew - whatever that means -

0:17:26 > 0:17:29with shallots and mushrooms...

0:17:29 > 0:17:31- Shallots?- Yeah.

0:17:33 > 0:17:34Well done.

0:17:34 > 0:17:36Thanks.

0:17:37 > 0:17:39- You all right, Michael?- Yeah.

0:17:39 > 0:17:42- Yeah. You?- Yeah.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44- I bought a lamp.- Oh, great.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46Yeah.

0:17:46 > 0:17:48All it was, it was very simple.

0:17:48 > 0:17:49She made me laugh.

0:17:51 > 0:17:53- Maureen.- Oh, yeah.

0:17:53 > 0:17:56- Yeah, lovely.- A funny woman.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58They're like hen's teeth.

0:17:58 > 0:18:00I must say, I've never met one.

0:18:00 > 0:18:03The only thing I'd change about her - and I'd say this probably

0:18:03 > 0:18:06goes for all women - I'd have had her a little more obedient.

0:18:06 > 0:18:08Yeah... Isn't it?

0:18:08 > 0:18:10Sure.

0:18:10 > 0:18:115, 10%.

0:18:11 > 0:18:12Nothing too cringeworthy.

0:18:12 > 0:18:16- Just a little bit more manageable. - Yeah. No, I totally get that.

0:18:16 > 0:18:17The smell of them.

0:18:17 > 0:18:19The fingernails.

0:18:19 > 0:18:21I mean, I laugh because they're men and that's what we do,

0:18:21 > 0:18:23but inside I'm just full of loathing.

0:18:23 > 0:18:26- Hello, darling. - Hello...

0:18:26 > 0:18:28What is this - a meeting of the coven?

0:18:28 > 0:18:31HE LAUGHS

0:18:31 > 0:18:32Mwah!

0:18:39 > 0:18:41I thought you were going down the dump.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43Yeah. I just thought I'd check

0:18:43 > 0:18:45if you wanted any of her stuff before I get rid of it.

0:18:45 > 0:18:47Oh, OK.

0:18:47 > 0:18:49What you got?

0:18:49 > 0:18:53Oh, er...bits of old carpet.

0:18:53 > 0:18:56Oh, erm, a little hostess trolley.

0:18:57 > 0:18:59It doesn't work.

0:18:59 > 0:19:00Her bin.

0:19:01 > 0:19:03I'm OK, actually.

0:19:03 > 0:19:04- Yeah.- Yeah.

0:19:04 > 0:19:06Well, I just thought I'd check.

0:19:07 > 0:19:10Right, well, I'll just take it down to the dump.

0:19:10 > 0:19:11Thanks, though.

0:19:11 > 0:19:13No, no, no.

0:19:13 > 0:19:15He's made up that woman, babe.

0:19:15 > 0:19:16Don't change the subject, babe.

0:19:16 > 0:19:19I'm just going to hang these up, if you want to...

0:19:20 > 0:19:22We are getting a flat, I bought a lamp for it.

0:19:25 > 0:19:28You're avoiding, babe. This is classic avoidance.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30OK.

0:19:30 > 0:19:31Let's watch the film.

0:19:47 > 0:19:50I'm sorry, but why can't I talk about the fact

0:19:50 > 0:19:52I'm moving into a flat with the man I love?

0:19:52 > 0:19:54Can we watch the film?

0:19:54 > 0:19:56This is stupid, babe.

0:19:56 > 0:20:00You need to address, basically, what the fundamental issues are

0:20:00 > 0:20:02on your emotional wavelength.

0:20:04 > 0:20:05TURNS ON ACTION FILM

0:20:19 > 0:20:21It's just..

0:20:24 > 0:20:28It's just, it's difficult for me, isn't it?

0:20:31 > 0:20:32Yeah?

0:20:32 > 0:20:34- Yeah.- Why?

0:20:39 > 0:20:41TURNS FILM OFF

0:20:42 > 0:20:44Because...

0:20:45 > 0:20:49..you've gotta think about my mum coming back here on her own.

0:20:51 > 0:20:52And, like, living here,

0:20:52 > 0:20:56it's like my dad's still with me, sort of.

0:20:58 > 0:21:01And it's not going to be like that if we move and stuff.

0:21:04 > 0:21:09So it's not like all that simple actually as just moving out

0:21:09 > 0:21:13because I love you or lamps or anything.

0:21:14 > 0:21:17Oh, babe...

0:21:17 > 0:21:18I want to watch the film.

0:21:20 > 0:21:22TURNS FILM ON

0:21:27 > 0:21:31Hm, Geoff just texted to say he liked your glasses.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33THEY CHUCKLE

0:21:35 > 0:21:37You, er...

0:21:37 > 0:21:39Viresh said you shouldn't be texting him.

0:21:43 > 0:21:48And, er, to be honest, I don't really like it all that much either.

0:21:56 > 0:21:57Sorry.

0:22:00 > 0:22:01That's OK.

0:22:03 > 0:22:05Oh, Christ...

0:22:05 > 0:22:08And there was me thinking you were dead.

0:22:08 > 0:22:10LAUGHTER DOWN PHONE

0:22:10 > 0:22:11I'll...I'll cancel the party.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13Yeah, well, I will be soon, and then I'll haunt you.

0:22:13 > 0:22:16You bloody would, as well. You bloody would haunt me.

0:22:16 > 0:22:17I will. I'll scare the fuck out of you.

0:22:17 > 0:22:19I still won't get a moment's peace.

0:22:19 > 0:22:22Even when you're dead, you'll be making my life a misery.

0:22:22 > 0:22:24I'll be hovering at the end of the bed.

0:22:24 > 0:22:26I wouldn't put it past you.

0:22:26 > 0:22:29I'll wake up in the night, I'll see you

0:22:29 > 0:22:30hovering at the end of the bed

0:22:30 > 0:22:32and I'll say, "Oh, God, she's still here.

0:22:32 > 0:22:33"There's no escape."

0:22:33 > 0:22:35I've bet you've been worried.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37Of course I wasn't worried!

0:22:37 > 0:22:38SHE LAUGHS

0:22:38 > 0:22:40It takes more than that to kill you.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43I should know.

0:22:43 > 0:22:45I've been trying for years.

0:22:45 > 0:22:47LAUGHTER

0:22:59 > 0:23:05- New chairs?- Oh, yeah. I found a place in Harlow.

0:23:08 > 0:23:12You know, I was thinking - I've probably missed the dump now.

0:23:12 > 0:23:14I thought maybe I should just stay for dinner,

0:23:14 > 0:23:16- if that's all right? - Yeah.

0:23:19 > 0:23:22No, I just thought, you know, it smells, smells nice,

0:23:22 > 0:23:26it would be nice to have some stew - catch up with everybody.

0:23:28 > 0:23:31Only a frozen meal at home. It'll keep.

0:23:35 > 0:23:37They're disgusting, really.

0:23:37 > 0:23:40They're actually really incredibly hard to eat.

0:23:40 > 0:23:42You have to cover them in ketchup...

0:24:13 > 0:24:14PHONE RINGS

0:24:16 > 0:24:18Yeah, of course, help yourself.

0:24:19 > 0:24:23- There's rice.- Thanks.

0:24:49 > 0:24:51- Everything OK? - Yeah, it's lovely.

0:24:51 > 0:24:54Mm. It just looks so delicious, Cathy.

0:24:54 > 0:24:55Oh, good.

0:24:55 > 0:24:57Really, really fantastic cooking.

0:25:00 > 0:25:01That was good.

0:25:01 > 0:25:04Just got to give it a bit more in the eyes.

0:25:04 > 0:25:06I was giving it in the eyes, Derek.

0:25:06 > 0:25:07Incredibly genuine...

0:25:09 > 0:25:11BACKGROUND CHATTER

0:25:32 > 0:25:35# I got my ticket for the long way round

0:25:35 > 0:25:38# Two bottle whisky for the way

0:25:38 > 0:25:39# And I sure would like

0:25:39 > 0:25:42# Some sweet company

0:25:42 > 0:25:44# And I'm leaving tomorrow

0:25:44 > 0:25:46# What do you say?

0:25:46 > 0:25:48# When I'm gone

0:25:48 > 0:25:49# When I'm gone

0:25:49 > 0:25:53# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone

0:25:53 > 0:25:55# You're gonna miss me by my hair

0:25:55 > 0:25:57# You're gonna miss me everywhere

0:25:57 > 0:26:00# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. #