0:00:06 > 0:00:08Hi, I'm George Shelley.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11You may know me from Union J or the jungle and today I'm going to be
0:00:11 > 0:00:12starring in my own cop drama.
0:00:12 > 0:00:15I have no idea what's going to happen to me, so wish me luck.
0:00:15 > 0:00:16I'm off to Successville.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25'Welcome to Successville,
0:00:25 > 0:00:27'a town full of celebrities.
0:00:27 > 0:00:31'Sometimes the famous faces that live here break the law
0:00:31 > 0:00:33'and when they do, I'm here to take them down.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35'I'm DI Sleet.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37'I've got crime in my DNA.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39'I've got justice in my blood
0:00:39 > 0:00:41'and I've got blood in my stools.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43'I guess I'd better start eating more salad.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45'What am I, a rabbit?'
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Yeah, this is DI Sleet.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01What? Yeah!
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Uh? Well, let me do the calculations on this.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06- Right, Sleet, I've got your new rookie.- Wait there, sir. Sir, wait. - Georgie...
0:01:06 > 0:01:08Yeah, I had sex that year.
0:01:08 > 0:01:09- Right.- Or around then.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11You're kidding me.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Sleet.
0:01:13 > 0:01:14And you're sure it's mine?
0:01:14 > 0:01:17Thank you very much. Chief.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19- Hello.- I'm a father.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Oh, God, the poor child.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Sorry. Sorry. How unprofessional of me.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25- That's OK.- What's your name?- George.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27- George?- Shelley.- George Shelley.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29You're not letting go!
0:01:29 > 0:01:31- Have a seat. Have a seat, boy. - Thank you.- Shelley, huh?
0:01:31 > 0:01:33- Yeah.- That's interesting.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Wow. I'm a dad, huh?
0:01:35 > 0:01:38- Just popped out today? - No, no, he's nine years old.
0:01:38 > 0:01:39- Oh, really?- That's the trouble.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41I have no legacy left.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43What are kids into these days?
0:01:43 > 0:01:44Twitter. Instagram.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47- What are they?- On your phone. They're like apps.- What's an app?
0:01:47 > 0:01:50- An application.- Can you make money from them?
0:01:50 > 0:01:51- Yeah, lots of money.- Really?
0:01:51 > 0:01:53- Yeah.- What apps make money?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Think about what you like. Do you like snooker?
0:01:55 > 0:01:58I like snooker. But you know what I like more than snooker? Curry.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00- Curry?- I like at the end of the day
0:02:00 > 0:02:03to go for a curry and just chillblade.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06- Do you know what I hate?- What?
0:02:06 > 0:02:08I hate going for a curry on my own.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11OK. So, like a dating app.
0:02:11 > 0:02:12- What do you mean?- Well, an app where
0:02:12 > 0:02:15people go and they subscribe to it and then you get to see
0:02:15 > 0:02:18other people that don't like going to get curries on their own.
0:02:18 > 0:02:23And then two people who don't like getting curries by themselves can meet up and go for a curry together.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26- Yeah?- That's brilliant.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28- Do you like it?- Yes, George Shelley! - OK.- I love it!- You like it.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31What shall we call it? What's a good name for a dating app?
0:02:31 > 0:02:32Plenty Of Fish In The Sea.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34- No.- Tinder.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36- Tinder!- Tinder. That's been done.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39- Yeah, but you know what my favourite curry is?- What?- Vindaloo.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41- Vindr.- Vindr!
0:02:41 > 0:02:42Yes, that's amazing!
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Yes, George Shelley. You're a clever little lad, aren't you?
0:02:45 > 0:02:49- Yes.- Do you know something? Now you're my partner, we're gonna be eating a lot of curry.
0:02:49 > 0:02:50Right, stop pissing about, you two.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52There's been a murder, a really bad one.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Chief, I'm just about to launch a massive app.
0:02:55 > 0:02:56I don't care. There's a kid.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58He's dead. Yes?
0:02:58 > 0:02:59Hacker, name of Ed Sheeran.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Chief, I'm straight on it.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04- Good. Good.- I'm on it, too.- Yeah? What are you waiting for, then?
0:03:04 > 0:03:06The binmen? Move, move, move!
0:03:06 > 0:03:10So, kid. Are you ready to jump on the great horse of justice
0:03:10 > 0:03:12and ride into a murder case?
0:03:12 > 0:03:14- Are you ready?- Yeah, let's do it.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Let us go solve a crime.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Hey, you know what these are called?
0:03:18 > 0:03:19These stupid flaps?
0:03:19 > 0:03:20Beef curtains.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Well, well, well, look what we got here.
0:03:27 > 0:03:28I found our body.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Oh.
0:03:30 > 0:03:31Someone's got to him. He is brown bread.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Do you know what brown bread is?
0:03:33 > 0:03:36- Brown bread?- Yeah.- It's better for you than white bread.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39No, brown bread is police-protocol language for dead.
0:03:39 > 0:03:40Oh! I didn't know that.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43SHOUTING IN GERMAN
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Oh, for crying out loud.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49- Oh, guten morgen. - Hello!
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Guten morgen, Sleet.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53- Hey, Merkel.- Hello, hello, hello.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55- Hey, you all right?- OK, you have me.
0:03:55 > 0:03:56- You have me.- Oh, oh, hello!
0:03:56 > 0:03:59- You got me?- You got it?
0:03:59 > 0:04:00Merkel, come on.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03- Oh! You good?- Can I have a go?
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Hey, George, we're not here for play.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06- George! George!- Sorry, sir.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- Get off the machine.- I can't. It's doing it itself.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12George Shelley, get off that machine at once! Get off that... Stop being silly.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Off, off, off. Oh, he's so cool!
0:04:14 > 0:04:16- Sorry, boss.- Both of you.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19- Double the likes.- It was lovely to meet you. I'm a hugger.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20- Sorry, sir.- What are you doing?
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- What are you DOING? - Sorry.- Sleet, hey,
0:04:23 > 0:04:25how it is up there in the Highlands?
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Is it snowing up where you are?
0:04:27 > 0:04:29- Because he is so tall! - Yeah, we get it.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31- Because I'm tall.- Wait, can you see us from down here?
0:04:31 > 0:04:34- Yeah.- Hello!- Yeah, I can see... - What's the weather like?
0:04:34 > 0:04:37Is there an election? What is happening up there?
0:04:37 > 0:04:40- What is happening?- You know what's happening? I'm getting annoyed.
0:04:40 > 0:04:41Hey, you coming to my bowling party?
0:04:41 > 0:04:44I have made a tournament mit T-shirts und nicknames.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47- I'm not coming to your bowling party.- Oh, OK.- I won't be there. - Oh, ja, ja.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49My fingers are too big. I can't get them in the holes.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51- That's not what I've heard! - Very funny.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53- Because he's big like a bear! - Yeah, you know what I have?
0:04:53 > 0:04:55I have a size 12 shoe.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57- Oh, ja, I know.- And I will bend you over, Merkel,
0:04:57 > 0:04:59- in front of all of your team... - Yes, please!
0:04:59 > 0:05:03Thank you. I hope so, all my dreams come true in one day.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Then I will kick you in the arse.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Oh, even better!
0:05:07 > 0:05:09- You've got big feet, sir. - You've done it before.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11- Like a clown.- Oh, ja, like a giant clown.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Like a clown, Shelley?
0:05:13 > 0:05:16- You know how clowns have the big feet and...- Ja, ja!- It's like that.
0:05:16 > 0:05:20- Shut up!- Sorry.- Both of you. You absolute pair of wallies.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22You stupid idiots.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Have you had your fun?
0:05:24 > 0:05:26This boy has been murdered!
0:05:26 > 0:05:30Murdered! And we are standing above his corpse laughing.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33At the size of my feet.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35- How do you feel?- Sorry!
0:05:35 > 0:05:36- It's really funny.- How dare you?
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Anyway, look, he has been murdered.
0:05:38 > 0:05:39We should, you know, do that.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42He was murdered at 8pm.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Ja? Und he was strangled mit this.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Give me this.
0:05:49 > 0:05:50A robot snake.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53- It's a cable.- What?
0:05:53 > 0:05:54- It's an ethernet cable.- Ja, ja.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56- Ethernet.- Take it.
0:05:56 > 0:05:57- OK.- Anything else for us, Merkel?
0:05:57 > 0:05:59He liked to video himself, OK.
0:05:59 > 0:06:00I hope he's not naked in this.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02My stomach can't take any more.
0:06:02 > 0:06:06- Here we go. Look. This is the last thing we found.- He's got some sort of weird twitch.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08- He's very alive.- In this he is not dead, correct.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- Yeah.- Probably cos...
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Worst bit. Look, he's been killed.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14As you can see, the attacker was wearing ze gloves.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17So, we found some things on Ed Sheeran's hard drive.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20This is the logo for the hacking organisation Incognito.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23- OK.- Ed Sheeran was ein senior member.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Well, we better hunt down this Ian Cognito.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Mm-hm.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Nein. That's just the name of the organisation.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32- Incognito.- I thought you said Ian Cognito.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34No. He was a member of Incognito.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- Well, who's Ian? - There's no-one called Ian.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39There is no-one called... Forget Ian.
0:06:39 > 0:06:40- Nein.- It's the accent.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43- Ah, ja.- Yes, it's your stupid accent.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45I can't do anything about it.
0:06:45 > 0:06:46It's just my voice!
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Wait there. Wait there a hot minute, you're forgetting one thing.
0:06:49 > 0:06:50- What is that?- This.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52- What is that?- It's upside down, sir.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54- What?- It's upside down.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Well, you work it out, you're the brainbox by all accounts.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Yes, it's D734.
0:06:59 > 0:07:00Or... Oh, George, you're so clever.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02- No, that's not... - What does that say?
0:07:02 > 0:07:05- Oh, it says help!- Oh, George, you're so clever.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07- Oh, does it, George?! - I thought it was upside down!
0:07:07 > 0:07:09- But, look, it's...- It is also numbers.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Well, he was probably asking for help.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14- I think this is a big clue.- Do you? - Yes. I think this is a clue.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18- If only we got there sooner, we could have stopped the killer.- Ja.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Then he would not be dead.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22That's actually quite funny.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24If we got here sooner, he would not be dead.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26All right. You said it once, that's enough.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Well, I'm going to leave you to it then.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32- You have everything...- No, we're off. Don't leave us with a dead body. It's creeping me out.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34- So, bowling at seven.- I won't be there. I can already tell you that.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37OK, just let me know if you're going to turn up like last time.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39- No, I won't.- No, because I have to order your big shoes.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41And if you want burgers, I'm going to have to order more.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45Lovely to meet you. Twitter me, Whatsapp me, everything.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46Oh, ja, ja, on Twitter.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48- @AngelaMerkel.- And Snapchat.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50- Come on, then. Let's get to it.- Yes. - Let's do it. Let's go.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53- I'm following you, yeah? - Yeah, you're following me.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56Sheeran had been hacking some big cheeses.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59Not actual cheeses, but big businesses.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02Including Successful Technology Institute.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05We headed over to meet its CEO.
0:08:07 > 0:08:08Shia LeBeouf, please.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Listen to me. Listen good.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13This guy could have blood on his hands.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15He leads up a big techno company.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- Yeah.- Which means what?
0:08:17 > 0:08:19He'll have computer cables.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22- And?- The ethernet cable that he strangled the guy with.
0:08:22 > 0:08:23- And?- And...
0:08:23 > 0:08:25It's a perfect place for us to mention Vindr.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28- OK?- Oh, yeah. That's actually a really good idea.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Didn't think of that. How are we going to sell it to him?
0:08:30 > 0:08:31Well, I think we need a pitch.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33A confident, cool pitch.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Yeah. Cool, got it.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37- Be very confident.- Cool.
0:08:37 > 0:08:38Don't lean. Don't lean.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Don't do that. You look stupid.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42You look like a big wally brain.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Welcome to STI.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46- Hello.- Trust you're both well?
0:08:46 > 0:08:50- I'm George.- I'm DI Sleet from Successville, Nick.
0:08:50 > 0:08:54I hope both of you are functioning on what we in the industry call
0:08:54 > 0:08:57- full optimisation.- Yeah. - Wow, that's a computer joke.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00- OK, I should let you know before we begin the interface... - Hey! What's...?
0:09:00 > 0:09:04- Why have you got gloves on?- Yeah, these are patented STI gloves.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08Did you know that there are over 76 different times of germ on a
0:09:08 > 0:09:09touch-phone screen?
0:09:09 > 0:09:13Did you know that worms and caterpillars aren't related?
0:09:13 > 0:09:15I... I didn't know that.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19- Have you got any interesting facts? - No. I've got some questions for you.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21- Wonderful.- I need you to answer them truthfully.
0:09:21 > 0:09:25- Of course.- OK. What do you know about Ed Sheeran?
0:09:25 > 0:09:27He used to work here.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Um... We had to let him go.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32I mean, if you think we had anything to do with this...
0:09:32 > 0:09:33- I never said that.- No.
0:09:33 > 0:09:37I was asking the questions. You seem a bit guilty. You're very nervous.
0:09:37 > 0:09:38You need to why what I was doing.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41I have it all itemised here on my digitised device.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43I can tell you minute by minute.
0:09:43 > 0:09:44So, at around 7.35,
0:09:44 > 0:09:47I was down at the gym doing a couple of reps with my personal trainer.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50That lasted 45 minutes and I burned through 135Kcals.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53After that, I was interfacing with some investors and I had a brief
0:09:53 > 0:09:56sojourn to a self-help organisation, of which I am a member.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59After that I had to go and meet the ambassador,
0:09:59 > 0:10:00if you're getting all of this down,
0:10:00 > 0:10:04who had to arrange the GDP which we wanted to talk about for around
0:10:04 > 0:10:066.5 million to 4.5 million in his country of origin.
0:10:06 > 0:10:10And after that I had an absolutely kick-ass Minecraft session.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Please don't blink in my presence.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Every blink unlocks six different types of eyelash.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Hey, Shia, you like curry?
0:10:19 > 0:10:21- Excuse me?- Do you like curry?
0:10:21 > 0:10:24I normally stick to things that come in a pill shape.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27- Do you know something? I love curry. It's my favourite thing.- Yeah.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29We have a really exciting idea for an app.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31- Yeah.- It's amazing.- That one.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33It's an application for your phone.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36- You download it off the App Store. - Vindr.- And it's called Vindr.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Vindr. So... Stand up.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Ever been in a town where you didn't know anyone
0:10:41 > 0:10:43and you wanted to go for a bit of curry?
0:10:43 > 0:10:46- I... I...- Ever wanted to find somebody new in your life
0:10:46 > 0:10:48and go, "Hey, let's get a curry!"
0:10:49 > 0:10:51This is Vindr!
0:10:51 > 0:10:53You are on your phone and there's nothing to do,
0:10:53 > 0:10:56so you go on the App Store and comes Vindaloo.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58Only 99p on the App Store.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02- Download now!- It's the best app ever for making friends in different
0:11:02 > 0:11:06- places.- Yeah.- Are you looking at cloud integrating this service,
0:11:06 > 0:11:08or is this something you will be having on a need-to-know,
0:11:08 > 0:11:10bit-by-bit basis?
0:11:10 > 0:11:14- Make it cool. - What sort of demographic might you be pitching towards?
0:11:14 > 0:11:15The 16-25?
0:11:15 > 0:11:17The 25-35?
0:11:17 > 0:11:18All of them. All of them.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20Every one of them.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22- Every age.- Old people like curry.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- It's salty.- It's nice and nice and spicy.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26OK. Do you have a tag line for
0:11:26 > 0:11:29the marketing roll-out that you're looking for?
0:11:29 > 0:11:31If you want spicy food and to meet new people...
0:11:31 > 0:11:35- Yeah, OK.- And then, like, in a new town that you haven't been to before...
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Just think of someone with a phone like...
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Why don't you just go on Vindr and open the app and then go and like
0:11:40 > 0:11:44- register for it?- It's less of a slogan than a novella, isn't it?
0:11:44 > 0:11:45On a scale of one to ten...
0:11:45 > 0:11:48- Eight!- You don't know what he's asking yet. He's just...- Seven.
0:11:48 > 0:11:52I was going to ask how likely it is that the business will fail within its first quarter.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55- Oh, no.- Six.- Six?
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Five. One. Is it one?
0:11:57 > 0:11:59- Is the answer one?- OK.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01I'm sorry, it is not a product that will work for us in any way.
0:12:01 > 0:12:05- Is that a no?- It's a categorical no.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Then you, sir, have made an enemy of me.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10You are not any more involved in my business
0:12:10 > 0:12:13and you are simply a suspect in this murder.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Thank you for your time, you stupid idiot.
0:12:15 > 0:12:16You're weird.
0:12:17 > 0:12:21Case-wise and investment-wise, Leboeuf had given us nothing.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Next up, Sarah Millican's Death Corp.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Sheeran had been snooping in their files.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28A little birdie had told me they made super cool
0:12:28 > 0:12:29and dangerous secret weapons.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Thank you, my winged friend.
0:12:38 > 0:12:39Oh, well, sorry I didn't knock.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41I just let myself in.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Gentlemen, welcome to Death Corp.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Listen, I'm not going to beat around the bush.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50- I wish you wouldn't.- Tell me everything about the mega robot.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54- My what? - The mega robot you're building here.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56- The mega robot?- You know what he's talking about.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59I promise you, I'll tell you this. There's no mega robot.
0:12:59 > 0:13:00It doesn't exist.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02- Millie.- No, honestly!
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Because a mega robot would be a stupid idea, wouldn't it?
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Now. If you don't mind, this is getting absurd,
0:13:07 > 0:13:10so what I'm going to do is I'm going to address myself to your superior
0:13:10 > 0:13:12officer here, all right?
0:13:14 > 0:13:15He's the one wearing the uniform.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Yeah, that's a good joke.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19In this business, the police business,
0:13:19 > 0:13:22the better you are, the less you have to wear a uniform.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Only buttheads and silly weasels have to wear uniforms.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27And kids on their first day.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29If you've got some serious business, I'd love to hear it.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31We do have some questions to ask you, actually.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33I'd love to hear it from you. Would you like a cup of tea?
0:13:33 > 0:13:36- Yeah, I'll get a coffee, if that's all right?- Yeah, coffee please.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38- Go and play around. - Play around?!
0:13:38 > 0:13:39- Find some evidence.- Play around?!
0:13:39 > 0:13:41- I'll have a walk around. - He's right, you go and play.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Right, what do you know about the killing of Ed Sheeran?
0:13:44 > 0:13:45I heard about Ed Sheeran.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46It's very sad...
0:13:46 > 0:13:49What's this? A death switch?
0:13:49 > 0:13:52- That'll be the lights.- Stop pressing things and just fiddling.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- You want to switch them back on. - Yep, there we are.- Right, thank you.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59That's OK, no worries. At 8pm, where were you on Tuesday night?
0:13:59 > 0:14:01That's classified information.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03If I told you that, pet, I'd have to kill yous.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06So, you're not telling me anything about the mainframe,
0:14:06 > 0:14:08you're not telling me where you were...
0:14:08 > 0:14:10- What's this? Some kind of killing den?- It's a disabled lift.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12WHIRRING
0:14:15 > 0:14:17I kicked it, it switched off.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20- Are you finished?- Yes, I'm just having a look around, OK.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Can you just do it quietly?
0:14:22 > 0:14:25I need to know what the group Incognito means to you.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28- Anything.- Oh, we've heard of them. They don't cause us much trouble.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30- No?- Like a fly that we would tread on.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33Oh, so you're bigger than them, more powerful.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35I'm not saying that we've done nothing to them,
0:14:35 > 0:14:37they don't really bother us that much.
0:14:37 > 0:14:38Hey, who's this guy?
0:14:38 > 0:14:40That's Flo. Leave him alone.
0:14:40 > 0:14:41He doesn't move.
0:14:42 > 0:14:43He's got... He doesn't move at all.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Don't move him. He's meant to stay there.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47But look at him. What is he? Is he a guard?
0:14:47 > 0:14:48- Or a statue?- Leave him.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51Hi-ya!
0:14:53 > 0:14:54I could break his face.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Don't break his face, he's a real man.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Yeah, look, motorboating his big titties.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Do you even realise how many ways he could kill you?
0:15:01 > 0:15:02Yeah? Could he kill me now?
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Look at that. Look.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07- Got his dick.- He is quite funny, come on.- Got it...
0:15:07 > 0:15:09- No, you're not funny. - OK, look, George, George.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Look at this. What does it look like I'm doing?
0:15:12 > 0:15:15He won't respond. Flo, you're doing very well.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Under very trying circumstances.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19- What have we got here? - They're just blinds.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22- Don't do that.- Are they inside?!
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Yeah, they're inside the two panes of glass.
0:15:24 > 0:15:25Whoa, that's very cool.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27I know, it's impressive, isn't it?
0:15:27 > 0:15:28Hey, what if...?
0:15:28 > 0:15:29GUNSHOTS
0:15:32 > 0:15:35Bulletproof, huh? Bulletproof.
0:15:35 > 0:15:36That's cool.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Do you feel proud of yourself now?
0:15:38 > 0:15:39Do you feel more like a man?
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Getting to pull your trigger.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Yeah, I did, actually. Makes me think clearer.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Made me feel sick.
0:15:45 > 0:15:46Did it? Hey, what's that?
0:15:46 > 0:15:47Some kind of secret file?
0:15:47 > 0:15:50No, it's Kate from accounts' leaving card.
0:15:50 > 0:15:51- Did you want to sign it? - I don't know her.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53She's a very nice lady.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56And here are the minutes from your meeting at 20:00 hours yesterday.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Why don't you pop off, gentlemen?
0:15:59 > 0:16:02Before you feel the need to blow your load again.
0:16:04 > 0:16:05Come on, let's go, George.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08Don't get shot on your way out.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Do you want to hear some good news?
0:16:12 > 0:16:15- Yeah.- Something cool.- What?
0:16:15 > 0:16:16That might blow your little mind?
0:16:16 > 0:16:21- Yes.- I had my friend Barnaby Krum come up with...
0:16:21 > 0:16:25A early prototype of Vindr.
0:16:25 > 0:16:26What?!
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Don't touch. Look with your...
0:16:28 > 0:16:30- Look with your eyes, not your hands. - That's amazing.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32I've typed in my first...
0:16:32 > 0:16:35my first person. Whitesnake.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37That's Whitesnake here, look...
0:16:37 > 0:16:39- Whitesnake. - Yeah. I mean, it's a match.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41I don't know what to say to him.
0:16:41 > 0:16:42- Shall I say...?- Cool.- I know.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45Look. What do you like, plain or pilau rice?
0:16:45 > 0:16:47That's what I've put.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49- I just did it. I just did it. - Just go for it.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50- Oh, man. This is so fun. - PHONE CHIMES
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Oh, he's... Oh, you'll never guess what he said.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54What did he say?
0:16:54 > 0:16:55"All of the above and more."
0:16:57 > 0:16:58- PHONE CHIMES - Oh! Oh, he's written back.
0:16:58 > 0:16:59What does he say?
0:16:59 > 0:17:01"It's going to be SPICE to meet you."
0:17:03 > 0:17:04This guy is cool, right?
0:17:04 > 0:17:06He seems like he's going to be so much fun.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08- He's got really good banter!- Yeah.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10- What shall we say? Think of something.- Um...
0:17:10 > 0:17:13"Can you find me OK or do you need my madras?"
0:17:13 > 0:17:16What about that one? Is that OK?
0:17:16 > 0:17:18I'll put that. I'm just putting it...
0:17:18 > 0:17:19Frig it. Frig it off.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21- Madras! - He's still not said anything.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25It looks like he's walking towards us.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28Do you know, this is one of the most exciting things in my life.
0:17:28 > 0:17:29My app works and I'm meeting somebody
0:17:29 > 0:17:31who seems like they're going to be so cool.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Let's hope he doesn't bhaji you off.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36- What did you say?! - I hope he doesn't bhaji you off!
0:17:36 > 0:17:38"Hey, you're not bhajiing me off, are you?"
0:17:39 > 0:17:42- KNOCK AT WINDOW - Evening all!- Evening.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44This is Sid Lowecroft. He's the office idiot.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47- No-one likes him.- The office idiot. - Yeah.- What do you want?
0:17:47 > 0:17:49You just told me to come down, didn't you?
0:17:49 > 0:17:51No, I was talking to... Talking to someone on...Vindr.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Is this your Vindr date?
0:17:53 > 0:17:55- It better not be. - Yeah, I'm on Vindr, yeah.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Doing my first match. Nice one.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59You're Whitesnake 16?
0:17:59 > 0:18:00Yeah. Sid. I'm...
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Who's he, by the way? Who are you?
0:18:02 > 0:18:03- George.- George. My partner. New partner.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05He's not coming, is he?
0:18:05 > 0:18:06Yeah, he is coming.
0:18:06 > 0:18:07He's my new partner.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09- I can wait in the car. - I thought the whole point
0:18:09 > 0:18:11was it's supposed to be for two people.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13No. It could be... It's my app. I designed it.
0:18:13 > 0:18:14It can be for, like, 100 people.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17Well, if it's more than two people, it's a curry club, innit?
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Sid, what do you know about curries and clubs and dates?
0:18:19 > 0:18:21- Just leave it at... - You designed what?
0:18:21 > 0:18:23- Sorry, hang on. You designed it? - This is my app. I designed it.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26- Everything. The protocol... - Doesn't work very well. Bit glitchy.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Oh, I'm sorry, Sid, it's not good enough for you(!)
0:18:29 > 0:18:30Unbelie... I don't want you...
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Delete the app right now from your phone.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34I'm considering coming off my own app
0:18:34 > 0:18:36because you're the other person on it.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38That's genuinely, like...
0:18:38 > 0:18:40It's actually... You've ruined Vindr,
0:18:40 > 0:18:42cos you're on it. Who even told you about it?
0:18:42 > 0:18:45- I don't want him to come. - So are we going for a curry or not?
0:18:45 > 0:18:46Yes. Where do you want to go? Azad's?
0:18:46 > 0:18:49- Azad's.- Azad's, we'll go there. - Not with him. Sorry, but...
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Yeah, you can come.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53- How long have you known him? - Well, like...
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Sorry, I'm talking to you, mate.
0:18:55 > 0:18:56How long have you known him?
0:18:57 > 0:18:58Sid, you know, actually,
0:18:58 > 0:19:01this is the most investigating I've ever seen you do.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03And you've been in the police for 15 years.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05I've never seen you ask any of these questions.
0:19:05 > 0:19:06- Not my fault, mate.- You know what?
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Maybe if you paid a little more attention to bloody solving crimes
0:19:09 > 0:19:11than eating curry, this place would be...
0:19:11 > 0:19:13- Just do the window up.- Seriously.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15Come on. I've just left Big Debbie in the pub.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Go back and meet her. You deserve each other.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20- Who's she?! - Oh, just some loser he's seeing.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22'Stupid Sid had put me off curry.
0:19:22 > 0:19:26'Next up, our final suspect, silly banker Jeremy Kyle.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29'He'd been hacked by Sheeran - but had he killed him?'
0:19:29 > 0:19:30- Let's do this.- Let's do it.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34Well, kid. This is it.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36We're going to see Jeremy Kyle.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39- Yes.- But this is a shark tank, kid.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42So we need to go in deep undercover.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46I'm going to be international Texan oil billionaire,
0:19:46 > 0:19:51Brock Wonderpenis, and you are going to be my business advisor.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Jean-Paul Smith.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Jean-Paul Smith.
0:19:55 > 0:19:56You're Swiss - can you do a Swiss accent?
0:19:56 > 0:19:58"John-Paul Smith."
0:19:58 > 0:20:00"Jeen-Paul Smuth."
0:20:00 > 0:20:01"Jan Paul Smiff."
0:20:01 > 0:20:03"John...!"
0:20:03 > 0:20:04"J...!"
0:20:05 > 0:20:08"John Paul Schmith."
0:20:09 > 0:20:11"Joh..."
0:20:11 > 0:20:12Shh.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Take a second, boy.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17- What languages can you do? What accents?- Any.- No, you can't!
0:20:17 > 0:20:19You just tried Swiss for half an hour.
0:20:19 > 0:20:20I can be an Australian John Paul.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23- Is Australian going to make you happy?- Australian can...- OK.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25- I'll be Australian. - You're my Australian business...
0:20:25 > 0:20:28- Your Australian business partner... - Who is weirdly called John Paul.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31- And I'm here to solve a crime, sir. - Don't worry about the crime thing.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34- I really want to pitch Vindr and get some money for Vindr.- OK.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36- Ready?- I'm ready.- Let's do this.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Let's do this. Let's go.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43- Hello, hello, hello.- Wow!
0:20:43 > 0:20:45what a cool office.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47I'm Brock Wonderpenis, Texan oil billionaire.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50Hi. Jeremy Kyle. Aroused to meet you.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53This is my sidekick-friend-partner.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54Yeah, cool.
0:20:54 > 0:20:55Did you spit on my floor?
0:20:55 > 0:20:58Yeah. Do you want me to get John Paul to clear it up for you?
0:20:58 > 0:21:00No. I like it. It shows balls to spit on a man's floor.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Oi, what did you say his... Oi, don't YOU do it.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04I said he could do it, not you.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06- What's his name again? - Introduce yourself.- John Paul Smith.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Right, button it, unless I talk to you.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11He's not my partner in a sensual way.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14- We're not boyfriends. - Yeah, we're just business partners.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15Here to do some business.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17- Oh, yeah?- Yeah. - Oh, yeah? Nice to meet you.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20I'm glad you've sat yourselves down without even being asked.
0:21:20 > 0:21:21Yeah, that's how I roll.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23- Stand up again.- Really?
0:21:23 > 0:21:24Yeah, stand up again.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26- Do we have to? - Yeah. I want you to stand now.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29- OK.- Right, sit your butts down, gents. Thank you.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Ahh! Wow, that's a nice chair.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Yeah, it is. They're wonderful chairs.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36- You're big kahunas, are you? - Oh, yeah. We're the biggest kahunas.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38I've never heard of you. How come's that, then?
0:21:38 > 0:21:39You've got a very dusty desk.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Shut your mouth, you. When people come in here,
0:21:41 > 0:21:42you know what I get them to do?
0:21:42 > 0:21:44I get them to make business noise.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46- That's what I like. Business noise. - I like a business noise.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49- Ready to make some business noise? - Like fighting talk.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Not like fighting talk. Like a business noise.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53- Like a ring noise?- Compadre.
0:21:53 > 0:21:54Make a business noise for me.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57- Nngh!- Louder.- NNGH!- Come on, louder!
0:21:57 > 0:22:00- Argh!- You, Brock Wonderpenis, Your turn.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02- RARGH!- Oh, this is sexy!
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Oh, I love it!
0:22:04 > 0:22:05WHOO!
0:22:05 > 0:22:06Well, we're sexy guys.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08Yeah, you're sexy guys.
0:22:08 > 0:22:09- I get myself all wound up.- Yeah.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Better take something to calm down.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14Oh, that will do it. That'll do it.
0:22:14 > 0:22:15I love you, you powdery bitch.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18- You absolutely love that shit, don't you?- Whoo!- Yeah.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20You're snorting that up like it's a...
0:22:20 > 0:22:22- Like it's going out of fashion, aren't you?- Argh!
0:22:22 > 0:22:24HE CHUCKLES
0:22:24 > 0:22:25I was just thinking,
0:22:25 > 0:22:29I was just thinking about a time that me and my
0:22:29 > 0:22:33- compadre here...- Mm.- Yeah, we got so high, we were crazy off our heads
0:22:33 > 0:22:37- with, with...- Drugs.- ..drugs, and... I went scuba diving.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39- And I swam to the bottom of the sea...- Uh-huh.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41..and I head-butted a shark in the face.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43And broke its... And broke its nose.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45- And I ripped its fin off. - Oh, yeah? You know what?
0:22:45 > 0:22:47That sounds like the time I snorted a kilo of weedkiller
0:22:47 > 0:22:49and had anal intercourse with a weather girl.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Can't remember which one. Could have been any of them.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54- HE YAWNS - Boring, boring.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56What a boring story. Have you finished with it yet?
0:22:56 > 0:22:57Yeah, I have finished.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59- Tell me something you've done, then, that's big.- OK.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01Yeah, I'll tell you. (I had sex with China.)
0:23:01 > 0:23:03I had sex with China. With China?
0:23:03 > 0:23:06- A person called China, or the whole country?- Whole country, all at once.
0:23:06 > 0:23:07You know what? I was out all last night.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10You know where I was? No bloody idea. Haven't a clue. Yeah?
0:23:10 > 0:23:11That's unbeatable!
0:23:11 > 0:23:12I like you two, though. Yeah?
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Ladies and gentlemen, we have some good eggs with us today.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Some real party animals. I like these guys.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19These are my type of guys. Hit me! What's your proposal, yeah?
0:23:19 > 0:23:22But I warn you, I'm not interested in playing with small fry.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Well, it's the biggest idea you're going to hear
0:23:25 > 0:23:26this side of Christmas.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Tell me about it, then. Come on.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30- Well, hey...- Do you like curry?
0:23:30 > 0:23:31Yeah, I like curry. Come on.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33It's an app.
0:23:33 > 0:23:34It's an app called Vindr.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36I think it's a brilliant idea.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39- We only need... How much? How much? - Sh, sh, sh!
0:23:39 > 0:23:42Shut up. Shut up. Button it, you. And you, shut up.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44- Do you like curry?- Shut up.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46I like it.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48I REALLY like it.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Hell, yeah! Let's steal it!
0:23:51 > 0:23:52Whoa, no, no...
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Come on! We're going to steal it, aren't we?!
0:23:54 > 0:23:56Er... No. Just...
0:23:56 > 0:23:58I've got all the way up on the table, OK?
0:23:58 > 0:24:00So it'd better be good. Come on.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02The guy who invented it is a really sweet guy, you know,
0:24:02 > 0:24:04and life's been a bit hard on him recently.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06We don't want to get on the wrong side of him.
0:24:06 > 0:24:07Yeah, that's what I was...
0:24:07 > 0:24:10I don't care about that. We'll change the name and steal it.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12- His lawyer won't be able to touch us.- He will. He's his lawyer.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14He is the lawyer of these guys.
0:24:14 > 0:24:15Let's get serious.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Come on. Some big cash injections for you and your curry app.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20How about we say £3 million?
0:24:20 > 0:24:23- Oh, deal. Deal! Deal! Shake on it now.- No, no, no, no...
0:24:23 > 0:24:24Shake on it now.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27What about £3,500,000?
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Fine. £3,500,000.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Exactly. Thank you.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33But say it with me. Say it with me, OK?
0:24:33 > 0:24:35£3.5 million.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38ALL: £3.5 million.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41Now, we're bloody talking! Now we're bloody talking!
0:24:41 > 0:24:44Let me just log in to my computer and get the contracts all drawn up.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47Hang on. Oh, no. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Oh, no. I can't believe it. I can't believe it.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51I can't remember my God-blasted password.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Will this affect the deal, if you can't?
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Yeah, it will affect the deal if I can't find my password,
0:24:55 > 0:24:57cos I can't put the contracts through, can I?
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Susan! What's my password?
0:24:59 > 0:25:01- D734.- Fine.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Right, fine. There. That's done.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Contracts will be in your inboxes in un secunda -
0:25:05 > 0:25:06deal's as good as done.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Well, thank you very much, Mr Kyle.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10- Ow!- Pleasure doing business with you.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Pleasure doing business with you, too.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14- Hey, gents. Look at this.- Ooh!- Yeah?
0:25:14 > 0:25:16Can I take some of that home with me,
0:25:16 > 0:25:18- just a little...? - Do you know what, Brock Wonderpenis?
0:25:18 > 0:25:20Help yourselves. You stay here. Enjoy yourselves.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23Cos I've got an urgent doctor's appointment,
0:25:23 > 0:25:25something about my heart. Probably nothing.
0:25:25 > 0:25:26Ta-ta, you shitters!
0:25:28 > 0:25:31'To catch a killer, you have to be clever, handsome and punctual.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34'I organised a fake incognito press conference,
0:25:34 > 0:25:36'using Sid Lowecroft as bait.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38'Hopefully the murderer would strike again
0:25:38 > 0:25:41'before their secrets were revealed.'
0:25:41 > 0:25:43- ON RADIO:- The target is in position.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46The target is in position.
0:25:46 > 0:25:47Target? I'm not a target, am I?
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Yeah, Sid, shut up. Shut up, you'll give us away.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52You will give us away. Right, you ready for this?
0:25:52 > 0:25:53I've got it.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Cue Sid, I repeat, cue Sid.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58Good evening, evening, ladies and gentlemen. We are...
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Kyle's going for something. LaBeouf is going for something.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04Millican is going for something.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Take the shot, kid. Take the shot!
0:26:06 > 0:26:08GUNSHOT
0:26:08 > 0:26:10What the...?
0:26:14 > 0:26:16Well done. Right, quick. Follow me.
0:26:16 > 0:26:17We need to get down there asap.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Everybody freeze.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23That's an official police killing.
0:26:23 > 0:26:24- I'm DI Sleet.- Oh, God.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27Oh, God. Oh, God.
0:26:27 > 0:26:28What is that?
0:26:28 > 0:26:30That's Sarah Millican, sir.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32She just took a bullet from George Shelley.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34- Did you, George?- Yes.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36- Care to explain why? - There's quite a few reasons.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39First reason is, she wouldn't tell me where she was
0:26:39 > 0:26:41at eight o'clock on the night of the murder.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43And then I realised when we came out of the lift,
0:26:43 > 0:26:46on the walls it said D734,
0:26:46 > 0:26:48which was written on the post-it note in Ed Sheeran's desk,
0:26:48 > 0:26:50and I think he hacked into their mainframe,
0:26:50 > 0:26:52and then I asked her what they did at Death Corp -
0:26:52 > 0:26:55as if Death Corp isn't an obvious name itself to kill someone,
0:26:55 > 0:26:57and then, when I told her, she said, "If I tell you,
0:26:57 > 0:26:59"I'm going to have to kill you." So, I think he hacked in,
0:26:59 > 0:27:00- she had to kill him.- Wow!
0:27:00 > 0:27:03That's brilliant. That's absolutely brilliant.
0:27:03 > 0:27:08I'm very, very impressed on how unbelievably stupid you are!
0:27:08 > 0:27:09You child!
0:27:09 > 0:27:12You pathetic excuse for a human being.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15The person you should have shot was Jeremy Kyle.
0:27:15 > 0:27:16- Yeah?- Hey, what are you doing?
0:27:16 > 0:27:19Jeremy, will you still invest in Vindr?
0:27:19 > 0:27:21Do one! Get your hands off me.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23- Damn it!- You were absolutely right, George.
0:27:23 > 0:27:27Yes, the note did say D734, not "help".
0:27:27 > 0:27:32Yes? But D734 was the password to Kyle's computer.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34What's my password?
0:27:34 > 0:27:35D734.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37And Jeremy Kyle didn't have an alibi.
0:27:37 > 0:27:38I was out all last night.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40You know where I was? No bloody idea. Haven't a clue.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42Millican did have an alibi. Yeah?
0:27:42 > 0:27:45Here are the minutes from your meeting at 20:00 hours yesterday.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47God Almighty!
0:27:47 > 0:27:51I've come across things growing on petri dishes with more intelligence
0:27:51 > 0:27:52than you, you twat!
0:27:54 > 0:27:56What have you got to say for yourself!
0:27:56 > 0:27:57Can I at least be coffee boy?
0:27:57 > 0:27:58No, you can't be,
0:27:58 > 0:28:02because the police department hasn't got the resources
0:28:02 > 0:28:04to continue wiping your arse for you.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07We've already got one big baby.
0:28:07 > 0:28:08Go home, the pair of you.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11Oh, well, kid. What am I gonna say?
0:28:11 > 0:28:13Accidents happen.
0:28:13 > 0:28:14You got it wrong.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16- Move on with it.- What about Vindr?
0:28:16 > 0:28:18Vindr's dead in the water.
0:28:18 > 0:28:19We don't have any money now,
0:28:19 > 0:28:22but we have a friendship that is beginning to blossom.
0:28:22 > 0:28:24Hey, fancy a Ruby Murray?
0:28:24 > 0:28:28- Let's do it.- I hope they take bullets instead of cheques.
0:28:30 > 0:28:32Hey, Lowecroft. Pick up your shit. You're coming with us.
0:28:34 > 0:28:37MUSIC: I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston