0:00:06 > 0:00:10- You've missed a bit! - My sincere apologies, your Highness.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13Can I fluff a couple of pillows for you?
0:00:13 > 0:00:15That would be lovely.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Argh!
0:00:17 > 0:00:19Thank you!
0:00:19 > 0:00:21You said you'd help me with the cleaning.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24- Doesn't sound like something I would say.- I know.
0:00:24 > 0:00:28It's right up there with, "No, please, I insist on paying for dinner."
0:00:28 > 0:00:34- Hi!- Oh, hello! Did you have fun with Mum and Dad at the zoo today?
0:00:34 > 0:00:35I saw a pigeon.
0:00:35 > 0:00:39A pigeon! Well, that's worth the price of admission.
0:00:39 > 0:00:44- Mummy, please can I go and get a drink?- Of course you can.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48- Thanks for taking me to the zoo, Dad.- Anytime, kiddo.- Aha, Mark!
0:00:48 > 0:00:50- Good to see you again, Ben.- Yes.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Give him time. He doesn't know you like we do.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Well, we're seeing a lot more of you of late.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Got a lot of time to make up with Kenzo.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00Not all of us could be amazing parents like you, Ben.
0:01:00 > 0:01:01He REALLY doesn't know you like we do.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04No, really, you make being a good dad look easy.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08- Well, I don't like to brag.- You have to be good at things to brag!
0:01:08 > 0:01:09Right, I'm off then.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12Er, speak to you later, Janey?
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Yeah. Today was lovely. Thanks, Mark.
0:01:17 > 0:01:18Bye, Mark.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Yeah, bye.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Good man, that Mark. Glad to see he's stepping up.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26- Do you want something to eat? - No, Craig's taking me to dinner.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29Oh, really? I'm so glad Craig's found time in his busy schedule
0:01:29 > 0:01:32as a shiftless layabout to let you buy him dinner.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Have you ever heard the expression,
0:01:33 > 0:01:37"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"?
0:01:37 > 0:01:38No.
0:01:38 > 0:01:42- How about, "Stop talking, or I'll smother you in your sleep"? - Yeah, that rings a bell.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00All right, Ben-o, how are you, mate?
0:02:00 > 0:02:03- Gainfully employed. You? - Yeah, well played.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06That's as funny as the first 25 times you said it.
0:02:06 > 0:02:10- Hi!- Oh, wow, you look amazing.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13You smell amazing, too.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Well, she's showered, it's an old English custom.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Hang on a sec. I had something for you here.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Where did I put it?
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Oh, no, I must have left it somewhere.
0:02:23 > 0:02:28- Oh, my gosh, you are as cute as a kitten!- Rarr.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29Rarr!
0:02:32 > 0:02:35I guess we'll be off. Nice talking with you.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38- Come by any time, Craig. - Any time I'm not here, Craig.
0:02:39 > 0:02:40Nice boy.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42I'll really miss him.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45He likes her, she likes him. What is your problem?
0:02:45 > 0:02:49I just think she can do better and one day she'll appreciate me for pointing it out.
0:02:49 > 0:02:50Perhaps you're right.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54God knows, I wish somebody had done the same for me.
0:02:56 > 0:03:01OK, so what can we do for you today, Mr...Best Friend?
0:03:01 > 0:03:03"Best Friend". That's a bit...
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Top of the morning to you, Mr Best Friend!
0:03:07 > 0:03:10- Roger, what are you doing here? - I came by for my annual cleaning.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14- Which you had two months ago. - My semi-annual cleaning, then.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Roger, it is your holiday. Your holiday.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19You don't have to come into the surgery
0:03:19 > 0:03:21and I get to have a pleasant week.
0:03:21 > 0:03:25I don't want to be on my own, Ben. I miss being in a relationship.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Will I ever find love again?
0:03:27 > 0:03:28Of course you will, Roger.
0:03:28 > 0:03:33- There are lots of desperate women out there.- You think?
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Somewhere out there, is a hopeless loser who has completely given up.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38But where do I find her?
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Well, one thing's for sure, Roger, it won't be in here.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43- Ah, Mark!- Hello.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46Come in, come in, what can I do for you?
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Wanted to have a moment, if I could, sir.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51"Sir"! Entree, entree.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Have a seat? Can I get you a mouthwash? Only joking.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00There was something I wanted to discuss with you.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03- You're a good man, Ben...- Ben, there are no women out here.- Out!
0:04:04 > 0:04:09- A man of integrity. Old-fashioned values.- One tries. One tries.
0:04:09 > 0:04:14And I've been trying my best of late to live up to the values you represent as a father.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Well, it's a hard act to follow, Mark, hard act to follow.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Which brings me to the purpose of my visit.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22I've made mistakes in the past but I'm a different man now.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23A better man.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27I'm interested in being more than just Kenzo's father.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29I'd also like to be...
0:04:29 > 0:04:30Janey's husband.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Plot twist.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36I want to ask Janey to marry me so the three of us can be a proper family.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Why would you want me living with you?
0:04:38 > 0:04:44- Kenzo.- Kenzo, yes, sorry! Of course.
0:04:44 > 0:04:48So, from a father who can only hope to measure up to your standards...
0:04:49 > 0:04:53..I'd like your permission to ask for Janey's hand in marriage. Sir.
0:04:53 > 0:04:59- Well, you have it, sir. You have it, indeed.- Thank you!
0:04:59 > 0:05:04I promise to repay your largesse by making your daughter as happy as you make Susan.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08Oooh, aim a little higher. OK? Little, little higher.
0:05:10 > 0:05:11Craig!
0:05:13 > 0:05:15I'm afraid you've just missed Janey.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Actually, I came round to talk with you.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21- Coffee?- Er, sure.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Yeah, there's something I wanted to discuss with you.
0:05:25 > 0:05:29- You're a good woman, Susan. - Yes, I know.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- And beautiful.- If you insist.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34- They say...- Milk?
0:05:34 > 0:05:38- Er, sure. Yeah, they say...- Sugar?
0:05:38 > 0:05:39Er, yeah, yeah.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43They say that if you want to know what a woman will look like when she's older,
0:05:43 > 0:05:44just take a look at her mother
0:05:44 > 0:05:49and standing here with you, I just know that Janey's going to get more and more divine.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51They do say that, don't they?
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Sit.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Er...
0:05:57 > 0:06:02The thing of it is, I love Janey and I know I don't have much to offer her
0:06:02 > 0:06:06in the way of fancy things, you know? Cars and jewellery.
0:06:06 > 0:06:11But I want to grow old with her and I want to get your blessing...
0:06:11 > 0:06:13to ask Janey to marry me.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17Isn't it traditional to ask the father for his blessing?
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Ah, traditions are made to be broken,
0:06:20 > 0:06:22especially when Ben-o's the father.
0:06:22 > 0:06:27- You have my blessing. Ask away. - Ah, thank you! Thank you, Susan.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30- I'm going to make Janey so happy. - And my husband so mad.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34It's a win-win for all of us!
0:06:34 > 0:06:36- Biscuit?- Sure.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Hang on.
0:06:39 > 0:06:40You're not going to hit 35
0:06:40 > 0:06:44and metamorphose into some misanthropic misogynist, are you?
0:06:44 > 0:06:46I don't know any of those words.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Welcome to the family, son.
0:06:54 > 0:06:59- I've got big news! - Not as big as my news.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01- I don't think so.- Oh, but I do.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05I bet your news is crap news compared to my news.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07My news will slice up your news like a salami.
0:07:07 > 0:07:13OK, well I had a visit today from a certain gentleman caller of Janey's.
0:07:13 > 0:07:14- You did?- I did.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18- And did he ask you for something? - He did indeed.- And?
0:07:18 > 0:07:22- I gave him my blessing.- You did? - I did.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Oh, Ben. I'm so proud of you.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26I invoke pride in others, 'tis true.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29What's your news?
0:07:29 > 0:07:32- He came round and asked me for my blessing too.- He did?
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Mm, he did.
0:07:34 > 0:07:41- Are you upset?- No. It's traditional that the father's blessing carries more weight, but...
0:07:42 > 0:07:46..I thought my blessing would have been blessing enough.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48For a sneeze, maybe.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51- Anyway, let's not argue. This is good news. - It's great news, the best!
0:07:51 > 0:07:54- Yes. So you're happy? - Very. You?- Very.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56I wonder where Janey and Craig will go on honeymoon.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59- Well, I hear Morocco... Janey and Craig?!- Yes, why?
0:07:59 > 0:08:03- You mean Janey and Mark.- Mark?!
0:08:03 > 0:08:07- Mark asked for your blessing to marry Janey?- Yes, and I gave it.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10- But they're not even dating! - Well, they should be!
0:08:11 > 0:08:13I can't believe you gave Craig your blessing!
0:08:13 > 0:08:16- They're in love.- So were we and look how that turned out!
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Don't you want Janey to be happy?
0:08:18 > 0:08:21When did marriage have anything to do with happiness?
0:08:26 > 0:08:28I guess I'm sleeping in the spare room, yeah?
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Morning!
0:08:38 > 0:08:40What are you two fighting about today?
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Nothing.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45What makes you think we're fighting?
0:08:45 > 0:08:46You're in the same room.
0:08:46 > 0:08:51- It's just that your m...- A friend of ours is having a little problem.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Well, actually, their daughter does.
0:08:53 > 0:08:57Yes, it seems that she's going to get two marriage proposals, from two different guys.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59What a slapper!
0:09:02 > 0:09:05Well, her father wasn't around much.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09Yes, and her mother is an overbearing control freak.
0:09:09 > 0:09:15Apparently this woman has got, to decide between the responsible working father of her child.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Or a cute, fun-loving Australian.
0:09:17 > 0:09:18SHE CHOKES AND COUGHS
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Mark and Craig want to propose to me?
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Who told you?
0:09:24 > 0:09:26How do you two know this?
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Because Mark, being a proper gentleman,
0:09:28 > 0:09:32came to me and asked for my blessing in the traditional manner.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35And Craig, knowing your father to be an imbecile, asked me for my blessing.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Wow.
0:09:37 > 0:09:38Well, this is kind of cool.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Two men want me and it's not even Friday night!
0:09:41 > 0:09:45Tell me, when they do get round to asking, who do you think you'll go with?
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Mark, or Craig?
0:09:48 > 0:09:50- Mark?- Craig?- Mark?
0:09:50 > 0:09:53I honestly don't know. It depends on what they have to say.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55How they say it and how I feel when they do.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57I guess my heart will answer for me.
0:10:02 > 0:10:03My guy is going to win.
0:10:03 > 0:10:08My guy is going to win, OK? So in your face, Susan!
0:10:08 > 0:10:12- Stop it, Ben.- This is not about you and me, this is about Janey's life.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14It's time for us to step back.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16What, so we stay out of it, yeah?
0:10:16 > 0:10:19- Leave the decision to the kids, right?- Precisely.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21- Completely?- Entirely.- Done?- Done.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Thanks for the coffee...
0:10:25 > 0:10:27darling.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30You're welcome...sweetheart.
0:10:38 > 0:10:39Susan.
0:10:41 > 0:10:42Ben?
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Who are you calling?
0:10:45 > 0:10:47No-one. Who are you calling?
0:10:47 > 0:10:48No-one.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Then why did you pick up the phone?
0:10:52 > 0:10:54I was just about to clean it.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58OK. Bye, then.
0:11:03 > 0:11:04Susan...
0:11:05 > 0:11:08- Susan!- Janey is marrying Craig. - Over my dead body!
0:11:08 > 0:11:12Oh, fine, we'll find someone else to walk Janey down the aisle.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15- She is marrying Mark!- Craig! - Mark!- Craig!- Mark!
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Oh, I'm so stupid, I forgot my keys.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19- Ah, lovely.- Yes.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23- Mark!- Craig! - Look, Susan...- No, you look, Ben.
0:11:23 > 0:11:28I'm going to help Craig put a marriage proposal together that will make Janey swoon.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31- Yes, from nausea, no doubt. - Oh, you think you can do better?
0:11:31 > 0:11:35Look, I do know a thing or two about asking a woman to marry me. Remember?
0:11:35 > 0:11:39As I recall, you were so drunk you muttered something about two lives becoming one
0:11:39 > 0:11:41before heaving and passing out.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45- As I recall, you said, "Yes." - I was drunk, too!- Oh, yeah.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50- Hi.- Hello, Janey.
0:11:50 > 0:11:55- What's up, Rog?- Oh, I'm just making the most of my week off.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57- How are you, Janey?- Yeah.
0:11:58 > 0:12:02Sorry, sorry, Rog, my mind was somewhere else.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05My mind does that too. Slips out for a coffee.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Never know if it's going to come back or not.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10No, it's just I've got a decision to make.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14A big decision...involving love.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Urgh.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Don't talk to me about love. Love and I are...
0:12:19 > 0:12:23HE CHOKES AND GROANS
0:12:25 > 0:12:30Your father said that somewhere out there is the woman for me,
0:12:30 > 0:12:32but where on earth do you start?
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Oh, don't give up hope, Rog.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37The right girl for you could be...
0:12:37 > 0:12:39a lot nearer than you think.
0:12:42 > 0:12:43Dad's in the kitchen.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47- BEN:- I'd be happier if Roger asked Janey to marry him!
0:12:54 > 0:12:56See you at the wedding...
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Dad! Mum!
0:13:06 > 0:13:07All right, Craig, listen up.
0:13:07 > 0:13:11You'll have to get your head out of the clouds and your arse in gear to win this thing.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14- "Win this thing?" - I mean, "Make Janey happy."
0:13:14 > 0:13:18I can't tell you how much it means to me, you helping me out.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21It's not that easy for me to express what I'm feeling.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25A man who can't express his feelings, I don't believe it(!)
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Well, I'm here to help.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30Now, I know money's tight, so I've got a ring for you.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32Oh, but I've already got a ring.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37It's simple, modest, it's elegant...
0:13:37 > 0:13:38It's crap.
0:13:38 > 0:13:43Here, this is white gold with an antique amethyst and diamond inlay.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46- Janey will love it.- Wow. Thanks.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48I can't believe you're being so generous.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51I'm not, it's Ben's. It belonged to his grandmother.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53She and Ben-o must have been pretty close?
0:13:53 > 0:13:55No, he won it off her at poker.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01Now you want to take Janey out to a nice place for dinner to propose.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04No girl wants to be asked the most important question of her life
0:14:04 > 0:14:06at Chicken Cottage.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Right. Yeah. So what are you thinking, Nando's?
0:14:11 > 0:14:14You know what? I'll make the reservation for you.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18There's a wonderful French restaurant that Ben takes me to whenever he screws up.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20We eat there a lot.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23I guess you'll be wanting to hear my proposal?
0:14:23 > 0:14:25It's still a bit rough.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28Oh, well just let me hear it, and then I'll tweak it a bit.
0:14:32 > 0:14:33Janey...
0:14:34 > 0:14:38..my heart was cold, until your warmth filled it.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42My world didn't turn until you walked beside me.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46You're the sunlight on my face, the air in my chest
0:14:46 > 0:14:48and the beauty in my life.
0:14:48 > 0:14:53There's no words to convey all that I feel for you so, I guess,
0:14:53 > 0:14:56"I love you" will just have to make do.
0:14:58 > 0:14:59Will you marry me?
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Oh, who am I kidding.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05It's all a bit rubbish, isn't it?
0:15:10 > 0:15:12It's a start. It's...
0:15:14 > 0:15:16It's definitely a start.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19I really appreciate your help here, Ben.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22I'm a businessman. I know how to write a contract, not a marriage proposal.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Mark, just relax, OK?
0:15:25 > 0:15:27When it comes to matters of the heart,
0:15:27 > 0:15:30you're talking to the love doctor.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32What have you got?
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Thought I'd just speak from the heart,
0:15:34 > 0:15:35tell Janey I had feelings for her...
0:15:37 > 0:15:38Even feelings of love.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41No, no, no, that's so been done.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Come on, what else have you got?
0:15:43 > 0:15:47Well, I suppose I could tell her I've been working really hard,
0:15:47 > 0:15:50had a fair amount of success...
0:15:50 > 0:15:53- earn a six-figure sum, got a boat.- Dinghy?
0:15:53 > 0:15:54Yacht.
0:15:54 > 0:15:59A chateau in France and a small estate in Argentina,
0:15:59 > 0:16:03which we're really excited about because the winery has had a great first year,
0:16:03 > 0:16:05and we're exporting to America and...
0:16:07 > 0:16:08Who am I kidding?
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Janey won't be impressed by that, will she?
0:16:12 > 0:16:14It's a start. It's...
0:16:14 > 0:16:16definitely a start.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19PHONE RINGS
0:16:28 > 0:16:29Yeah?
0:16:31 > 0:16:32Hm? Chez Maurice?
0:16:34 > 0:16:36No, I've not made a reservation.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Oh, my wife did.
0:16:40 > 0:16:41Why, what have I done wrong?
0:16:44 > 0:16:46What? Oh, for my daughter?
0:16:46 > 0:16:48It's for Janey? Ah, right.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50I see.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Yes, thanks very much for calling to confirm.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00- Who was that on the phone?- Nobody.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02"Nobody"?
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Nobody. Why do you ask?
0:17:04 > 0:17:06- No reason.- No?
0:17:08 > 0:17:09Why are you acting so strangely?
0:17:09 > 0:17:12I'm not acting strangely. What about you?
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Anything to feel guilty about?
0:17:14 > 0:17:15Why should I feel guilty?
0:17:15 > 0:17:18- You're the one on the phone to nobody.- Was I?
0:17:18 > 0:17:22- Why are you answering my questions with questions?- Am I?- Yes.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25- Really?- Stop it!
0:17:26 > 0:17:29- I swear you get weirder by the day. - Do I?
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Mark?
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Thank you, yes, it's me, Sir. Yes.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Mark, um, listen, meet me tonight at Chez Maurice.
0:17:57 > 0:17:597.30, Chiswick High Road. Yeah.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Yes, good boy, good boy.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05This time tomorrow, Janey's going to be the new Mrs...
0:18:06 > 0:18:09..whatever your name is.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17- Craig, is everything OK? - Yeah, yeah, why wouldn't it be?
0:18:17 > 0:18:19You just seem a little nervous.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22What would I have to be nervous about?
0:18:22 > 0:18:25I don't know. Maybe you wanted to ask me something?
0:18:25 > 0:18:30Ah, well, actually, Janey, the thing of it is...
0:18:31 > 0:18:32I, I, um...
0:18:32 > 0:18:35- Monsieur, are you ready? - Stop rushing me, please!
0:18:35 > 0:18:38For the love of God, I'll do it in my own time, OK?
0:18:38 > 0:18:41I meant, are you ready to hear tonight's specials?
0:18:41 > 0:18:45Right, er, can you give us another few minutes?
0:18:45 > 0:18:49I will await our next conversation with great enthusiasm(!)
0:18:50 > 0:18:54- So, you were saying? - Ah, yeah. Janey...
0:18:54 > 0:18:56I, um...
0:18:56 > 0:18:59Janey, you're the most...
0:18:59 > 0:19:01..that I've ever and...
0:19:01 > 0:19:07And I'm, well, you know, for the most part and since we're both, you know?
0:19:07 > 0:19:11So, yeah, what do you say?
0:19:13 > 0:19:15You didn't actually say anything.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19Really? I thought I made a heap of good points there.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Listen, I'm going to use the ladies',
0:19:21 > 0:19:24so why don't you think about what you want to tell me, huh?
0:19:29 > 0:19:31You stay here. I'll get rid of the wombat.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Craig! Thank God, I've found you!
0:19:35 > 0:19:38- Ben! What are you doing here?! - It's OK, it's OK. It's...
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Look, I know we've had our differences
0:19:40 > 0:19:44and I know how much you mean to Janey but I'd hate to see you deported.
0:19:44 > 0:19:45- Deported?!- Shhh!!
0:19:45 > 0:19:48- All right. It's OK! OK. - What are you talking about?
0:19:48 > 0:19:51It's just that immigration turned up at the house,
0:19:51 > 0:19:53apparently a bit of a mix-up, vis-a-vis a visa.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Vis-a-vis a visa?
0:19:55 > 0:19:58Exactly. And it sounds pretty serious.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01- It's a big mistake. My papers are in order!- I know.- What should I do?
0:20:01 > 0:20:04Go to the house, sort it out, let nothing stop you.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Right! Will you tell Janey I had to go?
0:20:06 > 0:20:09- I'd be delighted to tell her you've gone.- Thank you, Ben.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11See you later, good luck.
0:20:11 > 0:20:12Shh, come here!
0:20:15 > 0:20:17Make me proud, son.
0:20:21 > 0:20:25Mark? What are you doing here?
0:20:25 > 0:20:29- Is Kenzo OK?- Yeah. Don't worry. He's fine. Um...
0:20:29 > 0:20:30Where did Craig go?
0:20:30 > 0:20:33He had to go sort something out. Um...
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Janey, it's just...
0:20:38 > 0:20:42- ..I really need to talk to you. Can you join me?- OK.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50The thing is, Janey, um...
0:20:50 > 0:20:54when two people have known each other as long as we have,
0:20:54 > 0:20:57they develop a certain...fondness.
0:20:57 > 0:21:02And one hopes that that fondness can turn into something other than...
0:21:03 > 0:21:05..fondness.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09A deeper fondness, for example.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11- Focus!- Right. Um...
0:21:13 > 0:21:15We've been through a lot together, Janey.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19We're both parents to that amazing little man.
0:21:19 > 0:21:24- And because of that, I thought we...- Yes?
0:21:24 > 0:21:26Can I get you anything, madam?
0:21:26 > 0:21:29How about a man who can ask me a question?
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Craig...
0:21:33 > 0:21:35- What are you doing here? - Ah, it's a little emergency.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37- I'm being deported.- What?
0:21:37 > 0:21:41Your old man came down to the restaurant to tell me about the Immigration guys.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Did he now? How very thoughtful of him(!)
0:21:43 > 0:21:45Where are they?
0:21:45 > 0:21:48You're coming with me, Craig. But my visa...
0:21:48 > 0:21:52Trust me, if anyone's leaving the country, it'll be Ben.
0:21:52 > 0:21:57What I'm trying to say is, you know, not to put too fine a...
0:21:57 > 0:21:59If you look at the bigger picture...
0:21:59 > 0:22:01You do know this place shuts at 11, right?
0:22:04 > 0:22:08- Janey.- Yes.- You are a wonderful woman. Will you...- Where is he?
0:22:08 > 0:22:11Where's that idiotic husband of mine?!
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Ah, never mind.
0:22:14 > 0:22:15This one's on you.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18What are you doing?
0:22:18 > 0:22:20I'm so sorry, I've a drink problem.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23What's going on?! What's everyone doing here?
0:22:23 > 0:22:25- Mark is about to propose to you. - What?
0:22:25 > 0:22:28- No, Craig is about to propose to you.- What?!
0:22:28 > 0:22:32- Mark, do it before Craig, then his won't count.- Wait a minute, what are you doing here?
0:22:32 > 0:22:35She invited him for dinner to get Mark out of the way.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37He threatened Craig with deportation!
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Cos I don't want her to marry Craig.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41- I don't want her to marry Mark. - How about what I want?!
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Never mind that, it's not important! Do your thing.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Um, Janey, you mean everything to me...
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Look at the size of that, Janey!
0:22:48 > 0:22:52You know what they say about men with big diamonds. They're overcompensating.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55- Size is very important, Susan. - Don't I know it!
0:22:55 > 0:22:57I can't believe you two. You've taken sides.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00No, we haven't. Craig, get on with it, do your thing.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03- Janey, I can't live without you. - Do you hear that, Janey?
0:23:03 > 0:23:07He will literally die without you. Do you want that on your conscience?
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Janey, I...
0:23:09 > 0:23:12Look at the size of this, that's so small compared...
0:23:12 > 0:23:14- This is my grandmother's ring! - You snooze, you lose.
0:23:14 > 0:23:18This is a family heirloom, Susan, I'm going to have to take this off eBay now.
0:23:18 > 0:23:22- Just shut up, OK! You're all mad! - Come on, do your proposal, do it!
0:23:22 > 0:23:25- So?- So?- So?- So? - ALL: Will you marry me/him?
0:23:25 > 0:23:27You're both ruining this for me!
0:23:27 > 0:23:30I must ask you all to leave, maintenant!
0:23:30 > 0:23:35Mesdames et Messieurs, I do apologise for this disturbance.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39I assure you the rest of the evening will be free of this circus freak show.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42MARIACHI BAND PLAYS
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Janey Harper, will you m...
0:23:51 > 0:23:53Well, er...
0:23:53 > 0:23:54this is awkward.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59I thought this was a Spanish restaurant.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10- Oh, come on, Janey, let me explain! - We're so sorry, darling.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13What the hell is wrong with you two? I'm a grown woman.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15I don't need you deciding who to spend my life with.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18- You hear her, Ben? It's not for you to decide.- You too, Mum.- Oh.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21What makes you think you can run my life better than I do?
0:24:21 > 0:24:22It's a gift.
0:24:22 > 0:24:27What were you two thinking, taking marriage advice from them of all people? I mean, look at them.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Steady on, Janey!
0:24:29 > 0:24:32This was a big moment and you two mucked it up beyond repair.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34I mean, how much worse could this night get?
0:24:34 > 0:24:37MARIACHI BAND PLAYS
0:24:41 > 0:24:44Janey Harper...will you marry me?
0:24:44 > 0:24:46No!
0:24:48 > 0:24:50So, Janey. What's the decision?
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Mark, you're a good friend and a great Dad to Kenzo,
0:24:52 > 0:24:55but I don't want to marry you.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57And Craig, I don't want to marry you either.
0:24:57 > 0:24:58- And Roger...- She's reconsidered.
0:24:58 > 0:25:03We've never talked for more than ten minutes and you're dressed like a Spanish bandit!
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Everyone, just leave me alone, OK?
0:25:09 > 0:25:11I didn't hear a "no".
0:25:21 > 0:25:26- Craig, I just need a minute. - Please, Janey, hear me out.
0:25:26 > 0:25:27I just need to ask you something.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31- Craig, don't...- Janey, please.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34I want to speak for myself for once.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36I have to ask you a very important question.
0:25:38 > 0:25:39Will you date me?
0:25:40 > 0:25:41What?
0:25:41 > 0:25:45Janey, I love you and I do want to marry you,
0:25:45 > 0:25:50but not right now. You know, there's plenty of time for that.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52I just want to keep things the way they are.
0:25:53 > 0:25:58So, will you do me the honour of messing about down the pub,
0:25:58 > 0:26:01having a laugh and being my girl?
0:26:03 > 0:26:05I will.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12Shall we go out there and tell them we've sorted things out?
0:26:12 > 0:26:15Oh, Craig, you've still have so much to learn. Come on!
0:26:15 > 0:26:17- Pub?- Yes!
0:26:21 > 0:26:26- I guess we've learned an important lesson. - Couldn't agree with you more.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Which lesson's that?
0:26:28 > 0:26:30We shouldn't interfere in other people's love lives.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34I don't know, with all our experience at dealing with matters of the heart,
0:26:34 > 0:26:37I think we could really help someone.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Mind you, some people are really beyond help.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:07 > 0:27:10E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk