0:00:23 > 0:00:26Coming up, Britain's best-loved comedians reveal
0:00:26 > 0:00:29who gets their chuckle muscles working overtime.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Hands up who likes me!
0:00:33 > 0:00:36The Young Ones was mine and my brother's life!
0:00:36 > 0:00:40It was like suddenly there was comedy that was in colour.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43From stand-up routines to sketches and classic sitcoms,
0:00:43 > 0:00:47they're letting us in on their all-time favourite jokes and their love,
0:00:47 > 0:00:51envy and sheer admiration for the star performers behind them!
0:00:51 > 0:00:55That film was a real turning point for me.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58It was one of the things that made me think, "I want to do this."
0:00:58 > 0:01:00You enjoying that sandwich?
0:01:00 > 0:01:02So dust up your laughing gear,
0:01:02 > 0:01:06hold onto your armchairs and buckle up for a raucous ride
0:01:06 > 0:01:07into the land of comedy!
0:01:07 > 0:01:11It was like a master class and it was a real tour de force.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!
0:01:22 > 0:01:24I knew Tommy quite well, actually.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28He was a big man, a big man, a big man with a big personality.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31I was cleaning out the attic last week, with the wife.
0:01:31 > 0:01:35Filthy, dirty covered in cobwebs
0:01:35 > 0:01:37but she's good with the kids.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Tommy Cooper loved to laugh. He loved jokes,
0:01:40 > 0:01:45he loved tricks, he loved gimmicks, he loved to make people laugh.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49I went to the doctor. He said to me, "Open your mouth," so I went like that.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51And he looked down, he said "A little raw."
0:01:51 > 0:01:54So I went "Aar."
0:01:54 > 0:01:58Comedy legend Tommy Cooper made his debut in 1948
0:01:58 > 0:02:02and kept audiences laughing for a career spanning four decades.
0:02:02 > 0:02:07He was understood by everybody, by children, people of all ages,
0:02:07 > 0:02:11children, grown-ups, even different nationalities,
0:02:11 > 0:02:15they all understood visual humour, which he did so very, very well.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16Rose, rose. I've risen!
0:02:16 > 0:02:18He was a genius and a one off.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21People who loved him did say as soon as he walked onstage,
0:02:21 > 0:02:24you laughed before he'd opened his mouth.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Everybody can do a Tommy Cooper.
0:02:26 > 0:02:30"Just like that, just like that. Not like that, like that! Just like that."
0:02:30 > 0:02:33Your dad, your uncle, even your granddad,
0:02:33 > 0:02:36they can all do a Tommy Cooper. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised
0:02:36 > 0:02:40if people in China were going "Oh, yes, just like that!"
0:02:40 > 0:02:42I brought a greyhound about a month ago.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45A friend said "What are you going to do with it?" I said "I'll race it."
0:02:45 > 0:02:48He said, "By the look of it, I think you'd beat it."
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Oh, he's a hilariously funny man,
0:02:50 > 0:02:51any time, you know.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54One of his great jokes was getting out of a taxi
0:02:54 > 0:02:56and saying, "Have a drink on me."
0:02:56 > 0:03:00And he would hand the taxi driver a teabag, you know?!
0:03:00 > 0:03:03I backed a horse today, twenty to one.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Came in at twenty past four.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08I brought my wife a wooden leg for Christmas.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11It's not her main present, it's just a stocking filler.
0:03:11 > 0:03:16I said to the doctor, "It hurts when I do that." He said "Well, don't do it."
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Tommy Cooper was most loved for his magical comedy routines.
0:03:19 > 0:03:24Tommy was a terrific success with his cod magician act.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Diddly-ah-da-ah-da-ah-da-da!
0:03:27 > 0:03:29LAUGHTER
0:03:29 > 0:03:30Stop!
0:03:31 > 0:03:34Diddly-ah-da-ah-da-ah-da-da!
0:03:34 > 0:03:35Stop!
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Diddly-ah-da-ah-da-ah-da-da! Well, pull it! Pull it!
0:03:38 > 0:03:41LAUGHTER
0:03:41 > 0:03:42With Tommy, he is the joke.
0:03:42 > 0:03:47He's this huge man with an innocence about him.
0:03:47 > 0:03:51There was... Almost like a child.
0:03:51 > 0:03:57His determination to be a sophisticated magician
0:03:57 > 0:04:01and failing every time. Disaster.
0:04:08 > 0:04:13One of his best routines was the wine bottle and glass routine.
0:04:18 > 0:04:19Woo! Sorry, too many bottles.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Too many bottles.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23HE SIGHS
0:04:30 > 0:04:31LAUGHTER
0:04:33 > 0:04:36He starts off trying to do this, uh,
0:04:36 > 0:04:41and he gets it right! Yes, he gets one or two of the bits right.
0:04:41 > 0:04:45The wine bottle DOES appear and it DOES change place
0:04:45 > 0:04:48and you see it in his face, he's so delighted!
0:04:51 > 0:04:53HE TALKS FRANTICALLY
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Hoo-yah, hey-ah!
0:04:55 > 0:04:57APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:05:02 > 0:05:04HE LAUGHS
0:05:06 > 0:05:08CHANTING
0:05:11 > 0:05:13They have now changed places!
0:05:13 > 0:05:16The most difficult part is to make them go back again.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19CHANTING
0:05:28 > 0:05:29And then more bottles appear
0:05:29 > 0:05:32and then more and then it gets out of hand,
0:05:32 > 0:05:34because there's bottles and bottles and bottles
0:05:34 > 0:05:37and he's like a mad magician
0:05:37 > 0:05:40producing rabbits out of a hat except these are wine bottles.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46The laughs are all on him, you know,
0:05:46 > 0:05:49he is someone who takes himself quite seriously
0:05:49 > 0:05:51and thinks he's going to be doing good tricks
0:05:51 > 0:05:55and so on and is undeterred by the fact that everyone is in hysterics.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59And he seemed to be able to play that endlessly and brilliantly.
0:06:03 > 0:06:07An audience laughing is the most beautiful sound in the world
0:06:07 > 0:06:10and Tommy loved that, he loved to make people laugh.
0:06:10 > 0:06:14He was essentially the jester.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17I believe that when he did live work, he'd do this thing
0:06:17 > 0:06:23where he couldn't find his way on, but he could just cough off stage
0:06:23 > 0:06:25and the audience would start laughing
0:06:25 > 0:06:29because they knew him that well and he created that sense of expectation.
0:06:29 > 0:06:34Tommy Cooper, one of the all-time great funnymen, who'll never be forgotten.
0:06:36 > 0:06:41Good comedians get applause and appreciation.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44Great comedians are loved.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46And he was a great comedian.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49I can always tell if an audience is going to be good or bad. Good night.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00The Young Ones was probably my favourite sitcom, growing up.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03I really remember just laughing and not knowing why I was laughing.
0:07:03 > 0:07:08The Young Ones exploded onto our screens in 1982,
0:07:08 > 0:07:11becoming an instant hit and introducing us
0:07:11 > 0:07:14to a whole new breed of comedy faces.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17- Why don't you like me? - Because you're a complete bastard.
0:07:17 > 0:07:18LAUGHTER
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Vyvyan, I'm being serious!
0:07:20 > 0:07:23So am I! You're a complete bastard and we all hate you!
0:07:23 > 0:07:26I find that rather difficult to believe!
0:07:26 > 0:07:29Obviously I missed it when it was first around
0:07:29 > 0:07:32because I wasn't born but about 95, 96,
0:07:32 > 0:07:35I'd have been ten years old, I remember Friday nights,
0:07:35 > 0:07:38my mum would be in bed and my brother'd be out with his mates,
0:07:38 > 0:07:40me and my dad just flicking through channels.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44He introduced me to The Young Ones. I remember it just being mental.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52It was surreal. It was quite violent as well.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55"Do not lean out of the window."
0:07:55 > 0:07:57I wonder why!
0:07:57 > 0:08:00HORN SOUNDS AND VYVYAN SCREAMS
0:08:00 > 0:08:02What I loved about The Young Ones when I was at school
0:08:02 > 0:08:06me and me mates use to talk and laugh about it,
0:08:06 > 0:08:09more visually, really, the kind of look of the show
0:08:09 > 0:08:11and, you know, how it was. It was quite manic.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Over here, over here!
0:08:16 > 0:08:19Hurry up about it, will you?!
0:08:20 > 0:08:23You took your time, you bastard!
0:08:25 > 0:08:30Quite ground-breaking when it first came on, it was probably held up
0:08:30 > 0:08:33as one of the main pioneers of what we now call alternative comedy.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35I remember back in the day,
0:08:35 > 0:08:40the whole alternative comedy movement centred on those people
0:08:40 > 0:08:43so you know it was another building to put your ladder up against.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46It was non-sexist, non-racist, but still funny.
0:08:46 > 0:08:50Their most memorable scene was when the hapless group
0:08:50 > 0:08:54compete in University Challenge, a perfect setting for mayhem and anarchy.
0:08:54 > 0:08:58This week, the teams represent Footlights College Oxbridge...
0:08:58 > 0:09:01Rah, rah, rah! We're going to smash the oiks!
0:09:01 > 0:09:05Yes, that's the spirit. ..and Scumbag College.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Oi! Up scumbag, up scumbag!
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Representing Scumbag, we have Mike...
0:09:10 > 0:09:15- Hello.- ..Prick, Vyvyan and Neil.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Vegetable rights and peace!
0:09:17 > 0:09:21University Challenge... If a bomb had hit that building,
0:09:21 > 0:09:23that would have been it for comedy in the '80s!
0:09:23 > 0:09:25I mean, they had everybody on!
0:09:25 > 0:09:29- Representing Footlights, we have Lord Monty...- Hello.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31..Lord Snot,
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Miss Money Sterling
0:09:33 > 0:09:35- and Mr Kendall Mintcake.- Hi.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39So your starter for ten, no conferring.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42Born in 1311 of Manchurian stock, he came to...
0:09:42 > 0:09:44BUZZER SOUNDS
0:09:43 > 0:09:44Scumbag, Neil.
0:09:44 > 0:09:48Err, can I go to the toilet, please?
0:09:48 > 0:09:51And they used to do that split screen, one above the other,
0:09:51 > 0:09:53and he puts his foot through.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55I'm completely bloody sick of this!
0:09:55 > 0:09:58LAUGHTER
0:09:58 > 0:10:01When you're at home, you go, that's brilliant,
0:10:01 > 0:10:04because you watched University Challenge as a kid,
0:10:04 > 0:10:07believe it or not, we did have it in Bolton. And you thought,
0:10:07 > 0:10:10oh, are they sat above them? You don't realise the magic of telly,
0:10:10 > 0:10:13they do all that. That's what sticks out in my mind.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Relax, we can handle this! Vyvyan...
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Achtung!
0:10:17 > 0:10:19It's not an automatic!
0:10:21 > 0:10:23I remember Vyvyan spoke for guys like me
0:10:23 > 0:10:26because I used to watch University Challenge
0:10:26 > 0:10:29I used to get frustrated and think it was a terrible show
0:10:29 > 0:10:31cos I could never get any of the questions.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33..the world's stickiest bogey?
0:10:33 > 0:10:34BUZZER SOUNDS
0:10:34 > 0:10:37- Toxteth O'Grady. - Correct. Five points.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39You bum bag!
0:10:39 > 0:10:41The world's stupidest bottom burp?
0:10:41 > 0:10:43BUZZER SOUNDS
0:10:43 > 0:10:44Uh, Rick, Britain!
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Correct. Five points.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48It is not!
0:10:48 > 0:10:51The Young Ones was mine and my brother's life!
0:10:51 > 0:10:54That's all I have to say about The Young Ones, it was my life.
0:10:54 > 0:10:59I was at boarding school and we had rationed amounts of television.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03We could watch TV at 9:00pm until 9:15pm
0:11:03 > 0:11:06in breaks in homework or go to bed or whatever.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09The boarding house I was in essentially mutinied
0:11:09 > 0:11:12when The Young Ones was on and we sat down and watched the whole half hour.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16It was like suddenly there was comedy that was in colour.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20I mean, it really was mind-blowing at the time
0:11:20 > 0:11:24and it seemed like it was for us, it was sort of raw and primal
0:11:24 > 0:11:27and energetic and you thought, what's this doing on the telly?
0:11:27 > 0:11:31And finally, for five bonus points to take you into the lead,
0:11:31 > 0:11:33who's been tampering with my question cards?
0:11:33 > 0:11:35BUZZER SOUNDS
0:11:34 > 0:11:35It was me! It was me!
0:11:35 > 0:11:36BOOING
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Damn, damn!
0:11:38 > 0:11:41The writers hadn't read the manual for sitcoms, they done it their own way.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45There's great lines but there's also just insanity
0:11:45 > 0:11:48and carnage in it, an explosive mix of comedy
0:11:48 > 0:11:51and I don't think we've seen anything like it since.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01All the way from America, the First Lady of comedy,
0:12:01 > 0:12:03it is Joan Rivers!
0:12:03 > 0:12:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:12:05 > 0:12:11Joan Rivers is, I think, the greatest working comic in the world.
0:12:11 > 0:12:15She's just a force of nature, she's fearless
0:12:15 > 0:12:19and really, really funny, which is incredible,
0:12:19 > 0:12:23to think how long she's been going, the span of her career.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27And she's still so on it, so quick and hilarious.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31Paris Hilton did a porno film... Oh, her poor parents!
0:12:31 > 0:12:35Can you imagine how they must have felt, Paris Hilton's parents,
0:12:35 > 0:12:40that she did a porno film in a Marriot Hotel?
0:12:40 > 0:12:42I mean, it is just...
0:12:42 > 0:12:44With fifty years of showbiz under her belt,
0:12:44 > 0:12:49Joan Rivers is the undisputed queen of stand-up.
0:12:49 > 0:12:54The thing that broke her in America was she was a wonderful guest
0:12:54 > 0:12:57for Johnny Carson, incredibly bitchy and incredibly funny.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00She now does red carpet stuff at Hollywood events
0:13:00 > 0:13:02like the Oscars and things like that
0:13:02 > 0:13:05but her true metier is being the bitchiest cow on stage.
0:13:05 > 0:13:09Despite being in her seventies, Joan Rivers hasn't lost her bite.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12It's this outrageous display on The Graham Norton Show
0:13:12 > 0:13:15that earns her a place in our hall of favourite jokes.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17So how old are you now?
0:13:17 > 0:13:20I'm 77 and... Oh, don't applaud!
0:13:20 > 0:13:23I beg... Oh! Don't!
0:13:23 > 0:13:27Don't! That is... BLEURGH!
0:13:27 > 0:13:30They applaud because they know they're going to outlive me!
0:13:30 > 0:13:32"Oh, good for her!" In New York they applaud
0:13:32 > 0:13:35cos it means there'll be a new apartment on the market soon!
0:13:35 > 0:13:37LAUGHTER
0:13:37 > 0:13:40The last time she was on the chat show it was like a master class.
0:13:40 > 0:13:45She just was on great form and it was a real tour de force.
0:13:45 > 0:13:51I hate when people say like, oh, they're 77 years young!
0:13:51 > 0:13:53I met Vanessa Feltz and she said to me,
0:13:53 > 0:13:55"Here's Joan, she's 77 years young!"
0:13:55 > 0:13:59I want to say, "And here's Vanessa and she's 350 pounds thin!"
0:13:59 > 0:14:02LAUGHTER
0:14:02 > 0:14:06She did some very funny stuff about ads for older people
0:14:06 > 0:14:10and they had one, female Viagra.
0:14:10 > 0:14:14It's women's Viagra and they had this big discussion with me,
0:14:14 > 0:14:16should they make it in pill form?
0:14:16 > 0:14:19This is honest to god true, it was in the newspapers.
0:14:19 > 0:14:23Pill form or cream, because they didn't know which would do better
0:14:23 > 0:14:26and they finally decide, these idiots, we'll do it in cream
0:14:26 > 0:14:28because if it's in pill form, in a bar,
0:14:28 > 0:14:31a man can drop it in a woman's drink and she won't know it.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35But if you're in a bar and a guy goes, "So where you from?", you know.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Everyone knows her for ripping celebrities apart
0:14:41 > 0:14:47and being really vile but she's viler about herself than anybody else.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49The good thing about older dating,
0:14:49 > 0:14:51the only good thing, for the women in the audience,
0:14:51 > 0:14:55everyone thinks you're old, there are no one night stands.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Cos just to get the old guy out of the car, into the house, up the stairs,
0:14:58 > 0:15:04on you, off of you, re-diapered, back in the car and home, four days!
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Four days! It's a relationship!
0:15:07 > 0:15:08What's interesting about Joan is
0:15:08 > 0:15:10the first time I had her on the chat show...
0:15:10 > 0:15:15You know, she's had an amazing life story, you know,
0:15:15 > 0:15:17starting in the clubs with Lenny Bruce,
0:15:17 > 0:15:20er, doing those late-night talk shows,
0:15:20 > 0:15:22the whole, getting the job at Fox,
0:15:22 > 0:15:25losing the job at Fox, the husband committing suicide -
0:15:25 > 0:15:26it's a huge thing.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29And so, you want to talk to her about her life.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31She has no interest.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34She's all about the next laugh, the next punch line.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37I've been on this show with some of these older women
0:15:37 > 0:15:39that still try to look good.
0:15:39 > 0:15:40No names - Goldie Hawn.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42LAUGHTER
0:15:42 > 0:15:46I love Joan Rivers because she just doesn't appear
0:15:46 > 0:15:49to give a shit. That's what I like about her.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51She says whatever she wants to,
0:15:51 > 0:15:56she talks about very, very, kind of, sensitive topics.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00And it's so refreshing for me, as a woman,
0:16:00 > 0:16:03to come across a woman like her
0:16:03 > 0:16:06who doesn't seem to censor herself in any way.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08It's an absolute joy.
0:16:08 > 0:16:09She's friendly with...
0:16:09 > 0:16:12The one with the big, stupid lips. Er, Angelina Jolie!
0:16:12 > 0:16:14LAUGHTER
0:16:14 > 0:16:17The energy and the quickness of her.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19She's to the bone, she's quick,
0:16:19 > 0:16:23she talks about things that some male comedians wouldn't touch.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Oh, Joan, we don't know which children are adopted
0:16:26 > 0:16:31and we don't know which are ours personally, they're all the same!
0:16:31 > 0:16:34The children don't know if they're adopted or ours.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Isn't that right, Billy and Sally and Jimmy and little Magoumba?
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Isn't that right?
0:16:39 > 0:16:45She is the queen of comedy in America and probably will be for a long time.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48But I sometimes wonder, how long can you be funny?
0:16:48 > 0:16:50And so, to me, what Joan Rivers means is that
0:16:50 > 0:16:54"Yeah, I can be funny until I'm 76 years old -
0:16:54 > 0:16:56"as long as I get a lot of face lifts."
0:16:56 > 0:16:59All the excitement because I don't like the three wise men -
0:16:59 > 0:17:01I think they brought shitty gifts.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03LAUGHTER
0:17:03 > 0:17:05I'm sorry, you're going to meet the son of God
0:17:05 > 0:17:08and you bring myrrh, frankincense...
0:17:08 > 0:17:11That's a candle! That's a candle!
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Audiences forget Joan.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Because she's not on telly all the time,
0:17:15 > 0:17:19she doesn't have a sitcom, she doesn't have a film career.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22It's like, every time she comes on, she starts from scratch
0:17:22 > 0:17:25and the audience goes, "Oh, wow, she's really funny",
0:17:25 > 0:17:28like they forgot how brilliant she is.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40Pete and Dud are absolutely my comedy heroes.
0:17:40 > 0:17:44They were some of the first comics that I ever heard
0:17:44 > 0:17:48and made me think I'd love to do comedy.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50The marvellous thing about Vernon Ward is
0:17:50 > 0:17:52he's been doing ducks all his life.
0:17:52 > 0:17:56Well, he's done more ducks than you've had hot breakfasts, Dud.
0:17:56 > 0:17:57He's done plenty of ducks.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00If he's done anything, he's done ducks.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02He done ducks in all positions.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04LAUGHTER
0:18:04 > 0:18:07One of the first things I did as a performer was these review shows at school
0:18:07 > 0:18:09and sketches and stuff
0:18:09 > 0:18:11and the sketches I always would do were
0:18:11 > 0:18:14Peter Cook and Dudley Moore sketches.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17I tell you what makes you know that Vernon Ward is a good painter -
0:18:17 > 0:18:20- if you look at his ducks... Have you looked at his ducks?- Yeah.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23If you look at his ducks, you see the eyes follow you round the room.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Have you noticed that?
0:18:25 > 0:18:28If you see 16 of his ducks, you see 32 little eyes
0:18:28 > 0:18:30following you round the room.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33No, you'll only see 16 cos they're flying sideways
0:18:33 > 0:18:35and you can't see the other eye on the other side.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37But you get the impression, Dud,
0:18:37 > 0:18:40that the other eye is craning round the beak to look at you.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43The art gallery scene is, you know, for me,
0:18:43 > 0:18:45one of my favourite sketches of theirs.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Not only is it very, very funny,
0:18:48 > 0:18:51but you get the sense that, at any point,
0:18:51 > 0:18:55it could just descend into outright fits of them giggling at each other.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57You know, Pete,
0:18:57 > 0:19:01I reckon there's a lot of rubbish in this gallery, you know.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04Not only rubbish, Dud, there's a lot of muck about.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06I've been looking all over for something good.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09I've been looking for that lovely gypsy lady.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11You know the one what Terpsichore done,
0:19:11 > 0:19:13with the lovely shining skin. Where is she?
0:19:13 > 0:19:15- Nowhere.- Nowhere.
0:19:15 > 0:19:16I went up to the manager,
0:19:16 > 0:19:21- I said... I got him by the collar, I said, "Here!"- Yeah.- I said, "Here!"
0:19:21 > 0:19:24You didn't spit sandwich at him, did you?
0:19:24 > 0:19:25LAUGHTER
0:19:25 > 0:19:27- Sorry, Pete.- Blimey!
0:19:27 > 0:19:29I'm sorry about that. No, I said, "Here!"
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Yeah, you'll do it again if you're not careful.
0:19:32 > 0:19:33LAUGHTER
0:19:33 > 0:19:35I said, "Where..."
0:19:35 > 0:19:39LAUGHTER
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Come on, what did you say, Dud?
0:19:41 > 0:19:45I said, "Where's that bloody Chinese flying horse, then?"
0:19:45 > 0:19:47What did he say?
0:19:47 > 0:19:48He said, "Get out."
0:19:48 > 0:19:52They look like they're enjoying each other's company and finding each other funny
0:19:52 > 0:19:55and it makes it, as a viewer, such a lovely thing to watch
0:19:55 > 0:19:59because there's just an innate sense of fun and silliness to it.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03My abiding memory of the art gallery sketch
0:20:03 > 0:20:07is, is, is... Is both of them corpsing
0:20:07 > 0:20:12on talking about some auntie or something and they both start to go.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15That's Les Grandes Baigneuses. You know what it means?
0:20:15 > 0:20:19- Big bathers.- Is that all? - That's all it means - big bathers.
0:20:19 > 0:20:20500,000 quid we paid for that -
0:20:20 > 0:20:23those nude women come out of our pocket, Dud.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Works out about £50,000 a body, don't it?
0:20:25 > 0:20:29You could get the real nude ladies over there for that price.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32My aunt Dolly would have done it for nothing.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34LAUGHTER
0:20:34 > 0:20:36She does anything for nothing, doesn't she?
0:20:36 > 0:20:37LAUGHTER
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Dirty, old cow.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41LAUGHTER
0:20:41 > 0:20:44What's lovely about Pete and Dud in the art gallery
0:20:44 > 0:20:46is that they know how funny it is
0:20:46 > 0:20:50and there's that, you know, "Are you enjoying that sandwich, Dud?"
0:20:50 > 0:20:56Er, it's an absolute classic moment of British comedy TV.
0:20:59 > 0:21:00You enjoying that sandwich?
0:21:02 > 0:21:06You can see it in his eyes. His eyes go first and you know he's about to lose it
0:21:06 > 0:21:08and he does and he shoves the sandwich in his face.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12Dudley Moore is holding onto that sandwich for dear life.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15Every time he's about to laugh, the sandwich goes in.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17It's like, "The sandwich will stop me laughing."
0:21:17 > 0:21:22There's just something funny about Peter Cook's
0:21:22 > 0:21:28strained, deadly serious eyes when he's laughing himself
0:21:28 > 0:21:31but he's almost daring Dudley Moore not to laugh.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35Almost bullying him, with the way that he's laughing
0:21:35 > 0:21:38but daring him not to laugh that I just find hilarious.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41What I like about that is that they both go...
0:21:41 > 0:21:44And when Dudley Moore would corpse,
0:21:44 > 0:21:48he did this amazing thing where he'd try not to laugh,
0:21:48 > 0:21:53and they're handling these sandwiches as though they're eating and trying not to laugh
0:21:53 > 0:21:55which kind of exacerbates the whole situation.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57Course they don't, Pete...
0:21:57 > 0:22:00LAUGHTER
0:22:00 > 0:22:02You...
0:22:02 > 0:22:05You can't tell.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08I know, you've just seen the Leonardo Da Vinci joke, have you?
0:22:08 > 0:22:09LAUGHTER
0:22:09 > 0:22:15You could see it as them sending up ignorant, working-class people in an art gallery.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18It could be seen as that and they're both, you know, they're...
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Peter Cook, Dudley Moore - Oxford boys,
0:22:20 > 0:22:23although Dudley Moore is a grammar school boy
0:22:23 > 0:22:25but it could be seen as sneering.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27But it isn't cos it's so warm, and...
0:22:27 > 0:22:30That's what's so lovely about it - it's delicious like his sandwich.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34I've got to say, you can't tell if that's a good painting or not because
0:22:34 > 0:22:38you can't see their eyes, whether they follow you around the room.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40No, the sign of a good painting like that, Dud,
0:22:40 > 0:22:42with their backs towards you,
0:22:42 > 0:22:45is if the bottoms follow you around the room.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48Sketches like Pete and Dud, I think, are timeless.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50You watch them and they will be funny, you know, forever.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53They're just naturally very, very funny people.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55I don't think it will ever date.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06I'm a huge fan of Monty Python's Life Of Brian.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09I think it's the best thing they did by miles and miles and miles.
0:23:09 > 0:23:10It's an amazing film.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12And...
0:23:12 > 0:23:18# Always look on the bright side of life... #
0:23:18 > 0:23:22I went to boarding school, so we didn't watch telly and we didn't go to the cinema.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24So, I first came across Life Of Brian -
0:23:24 > 0:23:27someone had tapes of it and I'd heard it
0:23:27 > 0:23:31probably 30 times before I ever saw it.
0:23:31 > 0:23:35I think I probably saw Life Of Brian for the first time when I was, like, 15,
0:23:35 > 0:23:39and it's been a film I've sort of found myself going back to
0:23:39 > 0:23:44cos it's just so rich in its ambition and in the way it succeeds.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50Life Of Brian was Monty Python's third feature film
0:23:50 > 0:23:54and followed on from the success of Monty Python's Flying Circus.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58They're very clever people and were, at one point, tearing up comedy
0:23:58 > 0:24:02and turning over the whole thing of how sketch comedy worked
0:24:02 > 0:24:05and going away from what you're meant to do with a sketch show.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08And in that film... They do all that in Life Of Brian
0:24:08 > 0:24:11but they also have this underlying point.
0:24:11 > 0:24:15That film was a real turning point for me.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18That was one thing I saw that made me think, "I want to do this,
0:24:18 > 0:24:20"I'm not just interested in watching it."
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Who isn't interested in watching comedy?
0:24:23 > 0:24:26But that film was one of the things I thought, "That's incredible".
0:24:28 > 0:24:31There are loads of amazing scenes in Life Of Brian
0:24:31 > 0:24:35so it's pretty difficult to boil it down to, like, a favourite joke.
0:24:35 > 0:24:40I think the best joke in it is one of the cleverest, funniest movie moments,
0:24:40 > 0:24:44is the bit where Brian wakes up in the morning and he's naked and he opens the window
0:24:44 > 0:24:47and the crowd of followers have tracked him down
0:24:47 > 0:24:48to where he is.
0:24:48 > 0:24:53ALL: Look, there he is. The chosen one has woken!
0:24:55 > 0:24:58Then he gets into this whole thing where he's preaching, like Jesus,
0:24:58 > 0:25:00telling them what they should do.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04And the classic moment, and it's a brilliant joke, is when he says,
0:25:04 > 0:25:07"You're all individuals", and they say "Yes, we're individuals",
0:25:07 > 0:25:09and then one guy goes, "I'm not".
0:25:09 > 0:25:13And that is how brilliant that joke is
0:25:13 > 0:25:17cos it makes a point, it's funny,
0:25:17 > 0:25:20it's silly, it's just perfect, it's a perfect moment.
0:25:20 > 0:25:25You don't need to follow me! You don't need to follow anybody!
0:25:25 > 0:25:31You've got to think for yourselves! You're all individuals!
0:25:31 > 0:25:34ALL: Yes, we're all individuals!
0:25:34 > 0:25:36You're all different!
0:25:36 > 0:25:39ALL: Yes, we are all different!
0:25:39 > 0:25:40I'm not.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41Sssh.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44They're making their satirical point
0:25:44 > 0:25:46and a bloke says it in a silly voice, as well.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48"I'm not", you know, what else can you ask for?
0:25:48 > 0:25:52So many iconic scenes. I mean, everyone knows the line,
0:25:52 > 0:25:55"He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!"
0:25:55 > 0:25:58He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Now, go away!
0:26:00 > 0:26:01ALL: Who are you?
0:26:01 > 0:26:04I'm his mother, that's who!
0:26:04 > 0:26:07It's a perfect piece of comedy work, a perfect comedy film.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10What I loved about that scene was the bit towards the end
0:26:10 > 0:26:15where she has the conversation with, like, about 500 people.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17"Yes, no!"
0:26:17 > 0:26:18Now, shove off!
0:26:18 > 0:26:19ALL: No!
0:26:19 > 0:26:22Did you hear what I said?
0:26:22 > 0:26:24ALL: Yes!
0:26:24 > 0:26:27Oh, I see. It's like that, is it?
0:26:27 > 0:26:28ALL: Yes!
0:26:28 > 0:26:32"Are you a virgin? Are you a virgin?"
0:26:32 > 0:26:36And the shock, the absolute incredulity and the shock
0:26:36 > 0:26:38that Terry Jones shows on his face.
0:26:38 > 0:26:39Are you a virgin?
0:26:39 > 0:26:42I beg your pardon!
0:26:42 > 0:26:45Well, if it's not a personal question,
0:26:45 > 0:26:46are you a virgin?
0:26:46 > 0:26:49If it's not a personal question!
0:26:49 > 0:26:51How much more personal can you get?
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Now, piss off!
0:26:55 > 0:26:58ALL: She is. Yeah, must be. Definitely.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00The thing about Life Of Brian is
0:27:00 > 0:27:02what it hasn't done is dated
0:27:02 > 0:27:06and because of its subject matter which is, sort of, religion
0:27:06 > 0:27:09and fundamentalism and people doing crazy things
0:27:09 > 0:27:11in the name of what they believe.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14It's still really, like, really, really, really relevant.
0:27:14 > 0:27:20# So, always look on the bright side of death
0:27:23 > 0:27:27# Just before you draw your terminal breath... #
0:27:27 > 0:27:30What's also interesting is it's not an offensive film,
0:27:30 > 0:27:33because it was banned in all sorts of...
0:27:33 > 0:27:35I think it's still banned in Aberystwyth, probably.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38And it, er, er... And it's like...
0:27:38 > 0:27:41But it's not offensive. It's a clever film but a funny film
0:27:41 > 0:27:44and anything that can pull both those things off at once
0:27:44 > 0:27:46is obviously a really great work of art.
0:27:46 > 0:27:51# And always look on the bright side of life
0:27:54 > 0:27:58# Always look on the bright side of life... #
0:27:58 > 0:28:01Come on, Brian, cheer up!
0:28:01 > 0:28:06# Always look on the bright side of life
0:28:09 > 0:28:14# Always look on the bright side of life... #
0:28:14 > 0:28:17Worst things happen at sea, you know.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20# Always look on the bright side of life... #
0:28:20 > 0:28:22What have you got to lose?
0:28:22 > 0:28:26You know you've come from nothing, you're going back to nothing.
0:28:26 > 0:28:30# Always look on the bright side of life... #
0:28:30 > 0:28:33Nothing will come from nothing. You know what they say.
0:28:33 > 0:28:36# Always look on the bright side of life... #
0:28:36 > 0:28:39See? The end of the film. Incidentally, this record's available...