0:00:01 > 0:00:03This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Hello.
0:00:34 > 0:00:35Hello!
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Hello.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Recognise me? No?
0:00:39 > 0:00:43Well, I'm Josh Groban. Sure, I'm one of America's biggest selling stars.
0:00:43 > 0:00:48I've conquered the worlds of pop/opera, and I've captured the hearts of a nation.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51But I always knew there was something else out there, something smaller.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53A lower calling, if you will.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56So I hopped on a steam boat named Destiny with nothing
0:00:56 > 0:00:59but a suitcase full of dreams and a fabulous singing voice.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02I said, "Take me to London, Englandshire."
0:01:02 > 0:01:05So, if you're watching, Your Majesty,
0:01:05 > 0:01:08would you do me the honour of allowing me to Never Mind Your Buzzcocks?
0:01:09 > 0:01:12On Phill's team tonight...
0:01:12 > 0:01:15He's a man who, last time he was on the show, was the subject
0:01:15 > 0:01:17of a running joke about his diminutive stature.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19There'll be none of that on my watch.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21It's rapping short-ass Tinchy Stryder.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29This guest needs no introduction because, frankly, it wouldn't help anyway.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32It's funtime comedian Charlie Baker.
0:01:37 > 0:01:38And on Noel's team...
0:01:38 > 0:01:41# Choose my weapon... #
0:01:41 > 0:01:45Suddenly I see this is what I want to be, the token lady guest on our midweek pop quiz.
0:01:45 > 0:01:50But what a lady guest. It's guitar-wielding Scottish lady guest KT Tunstall.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53SHE MOUTHS
0:01:56 > 0:01:58He's the king of the West End.
0:01:58 > 0:02:03It's great he's here, but not so great for the pensioners outside the Palladium who, right about now,
0:02:03 > 0:02:07are staring at their £60 tickets and saying, "I guess it's Beppe tonight, then."
0:02:07 > 0:02:09It's Michael Ball!
0:02:13 > 0:02:16We begin with Sorry, No Refunds.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Phill, Tinchy and Charlie, take a look see at this.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21# Yeah... #
0:02:21 > 0:02:25Little tip for you - if your sex is on fire, just dip it in yoghurt.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27But remember not to put it back in the fridge after.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29It's dirty rock monarchy Kings Of Leon.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34# Consumed
0:02:35 > 0:02:36# With what's to transpire... #
0:02:36 > 0:02:39That was Kings Of Leon with Sex On Fire.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42But why did the band pull out of a show mid-performance earlier this year?
0:02:42 > 0:02:46Was it because A, the stage became overrun with Labradors?
0:02:46 > 0:02:49B, they thought they spotted a bear in the crowd? Or C, they were being pooped on
0:02:49 > 0:02:52by pigeons in the rafters above?
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Pooped on?
0:02:56 > 0:03:01You come over here like the Marines did during the war, having sex with my Nan.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04- Dirty boy.- I know. I'm sorry.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06I've never had any animals in my crowd.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08I have thousands of cougars, but that doesn't count.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12- Hello!- Tinchy, have you ever had a bear in your audience?
0:03:12 > 0:03:17If I had a bear in the audience, I'd never perform again.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Because of bearophobia?
0:03:21 > 0:03:25- What would you do if you were performing and you see a bear there? - Where did you do your last gig?
0:03:25 > 0:03:29I done my last gig in, I think, was it... I can't remember.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33- Where's your next gig? - Next gig's in Shepherd's Bush.
0:03:33 > 0:03:38There's a kind of bear you might get in Shepherd's Bush, I tell you that for nothing.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42You know for a fact I'm coming to Shepherd's Bush dressed as a bear now.
0:03:42 > 0:03:47An aristocratic bear, drinking sherry. "Hello, Tinchy."
0:03:47 > 0:03:53If it is the bear one, it's a sad indictment on the state of current rock and rollers
0:03:53 > 0:03:55that they're going off if a bear's coming.
0:03:55 > 0:04:01If that was Ozzy Osborne or Lemmy, he'd take it backstage, have a pint of cider with it,
0:04:01 > 0:04:03play it at pool, something like that.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05- Then bite its head off.- Exactly.
0:04:05 > 0:04:10- Phill had such confidence in his answer/that I've had sex with his mom.- Not my mother!
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Oh, your nan, excuse me.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15I implied you had sex with my dead nan.
0:04:17 > 0:04:22That's the next episode of Glee, I think.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24What was the third option, Mr Groban?
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Pigeons pooping from the rafters.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29- Pooping?- Pooping. Poohing.- I know, I...
0:04:29 > 0:04:31- Shatting.- Shatting?!- Shitting.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34Would you say shat...? Shittin'? Shittin'.
0:04:37 > 0:04:42- Have you ever cancelled a gig, Tinchy?- No, no-one's ever been pooping on my head, no.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45I've never cancelled a gig, man.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48I nearly did one time. I was about to go on and I was having double vision.
0:04:48 > 0:04:53I couldn't see too clear. But they was like, "No, it's a bit too late now." So I went out there.
0:04:53 > 0:04:57You pretended you were playing to twice as many people.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00"Man, I am crushing this gig! Look at them all!"
0:05:01 > 0:05:03"There's two bears!"
0:05:03 > 0:05:07You have a new album coming out called Third Reich.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09- Third strike.- Right, OK.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Good. I'll be getting that.
0:05:16 > 0:05:17Final answer?
0:05:17 > 0:05:19- Pigeons.- I think it's the pigeons.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Let's see. You're right!
0:05:25 > 0:05:29The answer is C, they were being pooped on by pigeons in the rafters above.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Some even hit their bass player in the mouth.
0:05:32 > 0:05:38The annoying thing was they were homing pigeons and continued to shit on them every date of their tour.
0:05:38 > 0:05:43Kings Of Leon recently refused to lend their music to Glee for fear of losing their integrity.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46I actually appeared on Glee for purely artistic reasons.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49I made a statue out of cash.
0:05:50 > 0:05:51APPLAUSE
0:05:51 > 0:05:55Thank you. Oh, gee.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59Noel, KT and Michael, take a gander at this.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02# And I was like Baby, baby, baby, oh... #
0:06:02 > 0:06:06He's one of those American singers that everyone's heard of, but no-one knows their music.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09I hate those guys. Look at him, all twee and punchable.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11It's Justin Bieber.
0:06:11 > 0:06:15# Thought you'd always be mine, mine
0:06:15 > 0:06:17# Baby, baby, baby, oh... #
0:06:17 > 0:06:19That was Justin Bieber with Baby.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Why did he pull out of a recent gig in Australia?
0:06:22 > 0:06:27Was it because A, he had the end of one finger amputated after getting it stuck in a yo-yo?
0:06:27 > 0:06:32B, there were security fears after fans wound themselves up into a dangerous frenzy?
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Or C, he got arrested after making threats on Twitter?
0:06:35 > 0:06:36- I've never seen him before.- No?
0:06:36 > 0:06:38That was your first time seeing him?
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Yeah. He's like a little chocolate finger. He's lovely, isn't he?
0:06:44 > 0:06:49He's like a pinky wafer. I just want to dip him in my tea. I love him.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53- He's got a group of fans called the Beliebers.- The Beliebers?
0:06:53 > 0:06:54What are your fans called?
0:06:54 > 0:06:57I've got some fans called Grobanites.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00CHEERING
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Are there any in?
0:07:02 > 0:07:06- I don't know. Michael, do you... Ball-boys?- I have Ballettes.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09And if they're boys, the Ball-bags.
0:07:10 > 0:07:14You know, what's weird about Bieber is I read that he said
0:07:14 > 0:07:18to a floor manager, during a show, "Don't fucking touch me again."
0:07:18 > 0:07:22That is not the face of someone who says, "Don't fucking touch me again."
0:07:22 > 0:07:25He might be saying it in that picture. "Don't fucking touch me again.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27"Double dog dare you."
0:07:32 > 0:07:33I can't wait for it to be on Fox News and CNN.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37"Justin Bieber's balls have dropped.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40"We have news from Bieber headquarters."
0:07:40 > 0:07:43This is what happened to Aled Jones.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47He was like angel boy, everyone loved him. Balls dropped.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51(HIGH PITCHED) # Walking in the... # (LOW-PITCHED) # Air. #
0:07:53 > 0:07:54I'd love to have been at that gig.
0:07:54 > 0:07:58- That happened. Seriously, that happened when I was in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.- No way!
0:07:58 > 0:08:02This little boy had been in it for nine months. He was nearly my height.
0:08:02 > 0:08:08He was singing, (HIGH-PITCHED) "We don't live in a windmill, we live in a... (LOW-PITCHED) ..castle."
0:08:08 > 0:08:11- I swear.- Let's find an answer to this. Do we remember...?
0:08:11 > 0:08:15Did he do something wrong on Twitter?
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Tinchy, you've done some bad things on Twitter?
0:08:17 > 0:08:23No, man, Twitter's a place where you forget the whole world can read and see what you're saying.
0:08:23 > 0:08:24It's like your fingers are just...
0:08:24 > 0:08:27- You've got to keep it real on Twitter.- Keep it real, man.
0:08:27 > 0:08:31I have some of your tweets and I think it would be kept even more real if I read them.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Yeah.
0:08:34 > 0:08:39"GMA, Jimay's album brought good vibes out of me.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41"Now it's Tinnie's time."
0:08:41 > 0:08:45- It's JME, not Jimmy.- Oh, sorry. JME.
0:08:45 > 0:08:50- And it's not Tinnie, it's Tinie.- Tinie!
0:08:50 > 0:08:55- Have you done any rapping, Josh?- No. - I think you'd be excellent.- Really? - Yeah, excellent rapper.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58- J-Gro.- Yeah, see?
0:08:58 > 0:09:03- Why J-Gro? - I don't know if you caught at beginning, my name is Josh Groban.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09- APPLAUSE - I sing.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16I'm usually like this.
0:09:16 > 0:09:17But I thought I'd hip it up a little bit.
0:09:17 > 0:09:22You guys, you and KT, are so cool. I really do feel like
0:09:22 > 0:09:28- a complete dweeb up here. - Look, Josh, some artists are cool and make people feel rock and roll.
0:09:28 > 0:09:32And some artists make ladies ovulate.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Somebody has to do that ninja thing you do with your hand and look in the camera
0:09:35 > 0:09:38and make their ovaries twitch. Look.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Right now, pregnancy rates in Britain spiralling.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45Oh, my God, the babies are coming!
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Yes! Yes! Oh, my God!
0:09:47 > 0:09:52He's just reversed my vasectomy, ladies and gentleman.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54- Can I tell you my rapping story? - Oh, please.
0:09:54 > 0:09:58I went into a shop in Edinburgh to buy a present for my mum.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00There was a really young Scottish girl behind the counter.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03I said to her, "Do you wrap?"
0:10:03 > 0:10:07And she went, "No, I've never tried it!"
0:10:07 > 0:10:11No, it's a present.
0:10:11 > 0:10:16You think I go around in the town where I'm having a gig to find an MC?
0:10:18 > 0:10:20- We definitely need an answer. - We'll go with riot.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23Go with the riot? You're right.
0:10:23 > 0:10:24The answer is B.
0:10:28 > 0:10:32The answer is B, there were security fears after his fans
0:10:32 > 0:10:35wound themselves up into a frenzy, nicknamed Bieber fever.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38Ten fans fainted and others caused a security threat
0:10:38 > 0:10:40when they burst through the barriers around the stage.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Interestingly, Justin's young fans call themselves Beliebers,
0:10:43 > 0:10:46while most of his older fans are registered Bieberphiles.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54People faint at my gigs all the time, though we have managed
0:10:54 > 0:10:59to get the numbers down since bringing out my official Josh Groban HRT patches.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04That is the end of this round, and at the end of the round
0:11:04 > 0:11:07you guys are tied. How about that? That's wonderful.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16My grandfather once told me, make an Englishman laugh and he'll forever be your friend.
0:11:16 > 0:11:21But make him correctly guess the title of a song simply by crudely singing the beginning of it,
0:11:21 > 0:11:25and a Buzzcocks man ye shall be. So, let us play the Intros Round.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Phill and Tinchy, here are yours for Charlie.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Quite nerve-wracking, this bit.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34I don't really know any songs, so...
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Let me get in my zone.
0:11:42 > 0:11:46- Sorry, we don't have hoodies on this show. No hoodies on this show. - Sorry.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Us and Bluewater, two places you can't have hoods.
0:11:50 > 0:11:51OK.
0:11:51 > 0:11:57# Daw, daw-daw-daw-daw Daw, daw-daw-daw-daw
0:11:57 > 0:12:01# Daw, daw-daw-daw-daw Daw, baw-baw-baw-baw
0:12:01 > 0:12:04# Ba, bam-bam-bam-bam-bam-bam-bam Bam-bam-bam-bam
0:12:04 > 0:12:09# Baw, baw-baw-baw Baw, baw-baw-baw
0:12:09 > 0:12:10# Baw, baw-baw-baw... #
0:12:10 > 0:12:13- Tinchy's not doing anything. - He's banging, he's banging.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16- I'm making the beats. - You're doubling up on the drums.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18I'm giving it, like, a remix.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Oh, right, you were good.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25I've a sore throat, so I couldn't... I tried.
0:12:25 > 0:12:31- But I'm good at the beats, man. - This is the first I've heard about this sore throat.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33- We've all got a sore throat now, haven't we?- Yeah, yeah.
0:12:33 > 0:12:39- If his voice was sore, I'd be happy to...- No, you're hosting, there's no singing.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41AUDIENCE: Awww!
0:12:41 > 0:12:45- Did it ring any bells at all, Charlie?- It did, is it Nirvana?
0:12:48 > 0:12:52I'm going to hand it... What do you guys think it is?
0:12:52 > 0:12:55I think that our team will be off to Never, Never Land.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58Enter Sandman by Metallica, surely.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00You're right.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Here's how it should have sounded.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08INTRO PLAYS
0:13:16 > 0:13:23# Enter night! Goodbye light!
0:13:24 > 0:13:27# Take my hand
0:13:27 > 0:13:30# Soft rock to Never, Never Land. #
0:13:30 > 0:13:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:13:37 > 0:13:45- I won't tell you again. Hosty, no singy. - I'm sorry.- Three, two, one...
0:13:45 > 0:13:51# Sca-da-biddly... # HE SCATS
0:13:51 > 0:13:53- That's it?- Yeah.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Is it a modern record?
0:13:56 > 0:13:59- That's a question!- No, no, cos...
0:13:59 > 0:14:03"scab-ba-bah" could be scat singing from, like, you know...
0:14:03 > 0:14:05Oh, oh, oh!
0:14:05 > 0:14:09Is it that, # I'm a... I'm a scatman #?
0:14:09 > 0:14:14- Scatman?- You're right. Very good. Here's how it should've sounded.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17INTRO PLAYS
0:14:20 > 0:14:22# I'm the Scatman... #
0:14:24 > 0:14:27That was Scatman by Scatman John.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31Scatman John famously suffered from a stutter,
0:14:31 > 0:14:34but used his speech disability to his advantage by singing about it.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38Similarly, I'm thinking about writing a song about my disability called "Sucks Being Awesome".
0:14:41 > 0:14:43We also heard Metallica with Enter Sandman.
0:14:43 > 0:14:48Metallica's music has been blasted at Taliban insurgents in a bid to make them surrender.
0:14:48 > 0:14:52It didn't work as well as shouting, "Last one out of the caves thinks women have a right to education."
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Noel and Michael, here are yours for KT.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Cool, are you good?
0:15:01 > 0:15:05- Yeah, yeah. Are you?- I'm not. - Do you want a hat?
0:15:05 > 0:15:09- You should have a hat. - I've got loads of hats under here.
0:15:09 > 0:15:10There you go.
0:15:14 > 0:15:19- Does it work? Do I look like a knob? - You look a bit like Suggs. You look like a drunk ice-cream salesman.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Shut up.
0:15:21 > 0:15:22If only I were drunk.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27- Count me in.- Two, three, four.
0:15:27 > 0:15:28- # Ding, ding, ding, ding - Bom
0:15:28 > 0:15:30- # Ding, ding, ding, ding - Bom-bom-bom
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- # Ding, ding, ding, ding - Bom-bom-bom
0:15:33 > 0:15:34- # Ding, ding, ding, ding - Bom-bom-bom
0:15:34 > 0:15:37# Ding, ding, ding, ding... #
0:15:37 > 0:15:38What's happened? What's happened?
0:15:38 > 0:15:41# Don-don-don... #
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Piano's here, man, not there.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47- # Ding, ding, ding, ding - Don-don-don... #
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Thanks, Tinchy. # Ding, ding, ding, ding
0:15:49 > 0:15:53- # Ding, ding, ding, ding - Bom-bom-bom, bom, bom, bom, bom... #
0:15:53 > 0:16:00Michael's bass chord progression kind of suggests the song Shine by Take That.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06Merely a suggestion. It hints at it.
0:16:06 > 0:16:10Gutted. What is Josh Groban? He's not from here. He's a...
0:16:10 > 0:16:12He's American.
0:16:12 > 0:16:16- And all Americans are...?- Yanks. - Yeah.
0:16:16 > 0:16:22- All people who aren't from here are...- Foreign-er.- No, no. - No. That's the wrong band.
0:16:22 > 0:16:26Oh, is that the wrong song? LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:16:26 > 0:16:28I feel like I've been taken on a journey.
0:16:28 > 0:16:32We need a name of the song.
0:16:32 > 0:16:33Will you be the voice of reason?
0:16:33 > 0:16:35- I'll be the voice of reason?- No.
0:16:35 > 0:16:39- Do you want me to...- Can everyone stop talking in weird riddles?
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Cos I'm having a panic attack.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45- Phill's team, have a go. - It's Journey, Don't Stop Believin'.
0:16:45 > 0:16:49That's very true. Here's how it should've sounded.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51INTRO PLAYS
0:16:56 > 0:16:57You guys know this part?
0:16:57 > 0:17:00# Just a small town girl
0:17:00 > 0:17:04# Living in a lonely world
0:17:06 > 0:17:12# Took the midnight train going anywhere! #
0:17:12 > 0:17:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:17 > 0:17:21- It was a sing-off. - It was a total sing-off, and I got the stink-eye from Phill.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Let's do the next one.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28# Doo, de-do-de-doo
0:17:28 > 0:17:31# De-do-de-doo, do, do... #
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Shh!
0:17:33 > 0:17:34# Doo, de-do-de-doo
0:17:34 > 0:17:38# De-do-de-doo, do, do... #
0:17:38 > 0:17:39Shh!
0:17:39 > 0:17:42- That's really sexy, Noel! - NOEL PURRS
0:17:42 > 0:17:45I'm getting aroused, as well.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48Michael, that was gorgeous. That was just spectacular.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51- Yeah, well, that's what I do. - Hello! Can you see me at all?!
0:17:53 > 0:17:59Am I invisible to you? I've got a red top hat on and a fur coat on. Hello!
0:17:59 > 0:18:01"Tinchy, you were great. Michael, you were..."
0:18:01 > 0:18:03What about me?!
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Oh, I know what it is.
0:18:05 > 0:18:11- Is it Oh, So Quiet?- That's right. Here's how it should've sounded.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13INTRO PLAYS
0:18:13 > 0:18:16You were only off by a key.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Shh!
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Shh!
0:18:25 > 0:18:28# It's oh, so quiet
0:18:30 > 0:18:32# Shhh, shhh... #
0:18:32 > 0:18:37That was Bjork with Oh, So Quiet. We also heard Journey with Don't Stop Believin'.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Interestingly, Journey were initially called
0:18:40 > 0:18:44The Golden Gate Rhythm Section and only intended to play as a backing group for other artists.
0:18:44 > 0:18:48I would've ended up as a backing singer for Michael Buble had it not been for my gorgeous face,
0:18:48 > 0:18:52exuberant personality, amazing stage presence and vastly superior talent.
0:18:54 > 0:18:59With that, we end that round, and the scores are still tied at 3-3. Good job, fellas.
0:19:06 > 0:19:11I met a man on the boat over here, a gnarly old sea captain who said to me,
0:19:11 > 0:19:13"Joshua, I've lived a life.
0:19:13 > 0:19:18"I've sailed the seven seas, I've sired a child in every continent on this great world,
0:19:18 > 0:19:21"but there's one thing that's always eluded me -
0:19:21 > 0:19:26"I've never picked out a former band member from a line up of people."
0:19:26 > 0:19:29And then he died in my arms.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33So, Captain Boatbeard, this is for you.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Phill, Tinchy and Charlie, how about some 80s psychobilly rock?
0:19:35 > 0:19:39For the audience only, here is King Kurt.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43# Destination Zulu Land
0:19:43 > 0:19:45# Hum diddle dee dum Hoo wah hey ho
0:19:45 > 0:19:48# Destination Zulu Land
0:19:48 > 0:19:50# Hum diddle dee dum Hoo wah hey ho
0:19:50 > 0:19:52# Destination Zulu Land
0:19:52 > 0:19:54# Come on, boys, jump in the van... #
0:20:00 > 0:20:03That was King Kurt with Destination Zulu Land.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06Which of our line up is the singer The Smeg?
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Number one, King Kurt,
0:20:08 > 0:20:11number two, King Kong,
0:20:12 > 0:20:15number three, king of the swingers,
0:20:15 > 0:20:18number four, kinky old devil,
0:20:18 > 0:20:23or number five, 'king 'ell dad, what are you doing here?
0:20:23 > 0:20:26- What's the genre of music? - Psychobilly.- Psychobilly.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28What is that?
0:20:28 > 0:20:35They went on a tour once I think for six weeks, it might have only been a month,
0:20:35 > 0:20:41Where they didn't bathe. Their crowd threw flour and eggs and all sorts of stuff at them.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44- It ended on pancake day.- Yeah.
0:20:44 > 0:20:50Nobody get number two angry for fear that his claws will shoot out of his knuckles.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54I'm looking into the future with number five.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58Feel like that's how I'm going to look in five-to-ten years.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03I think number five wants to kiss somebody.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06He's challenging Groban ascendancy in the room.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09- I think so, yeah! - I can feel the demographic shifting.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18This is like Yoda versus Darth Sidious.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25Number four's got a lot of tattoos. I want some more colours in my tattoos.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27So you're doing some shopping?
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Yeah. Yeah, man.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Number one looks like Al Pacino in Scarface.
0:21:33 > 0:21:38Say hello to my lil' frien'!
0:21:38 > 0:21:40- I think number three. - I think it's three.- Number three.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42Let's find out.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45Would the real The Smeg please step forward?
0:21:45 > 0:21:51- There he is! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:51 > 0:21:54Still living the dream, The Smeg, ladies and gentlemen!
0:22:01 > 0:22:05Noel, KT and Michael, what about some '80s jazz funk?
0:22:05 > 0:22:08For the audience only, here is Shakatak.
0:22:12 > 0:22:16# Flying through the night
0:22:16 > 0:22:20# Floating on a wind
0:22:20 > 0:22:23# To the city lights
0:22:23 > 0:22:26# Night birds With the love they bring... #
0:22:29 > 0:22:31That was Shakatak with Night Birds.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Which of our lineup is singer Jackie Rawe?
0:22:34 > 0:22:37Is it number one, Shakatak?
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Number two, heart attack?
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Number three, back, sack and crack?
0:22:46 > 0:22:49Number four, kick-knack, paddy-whack?
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Or number five, addicted to smack?
0:22:56 > 0:23:01There's definitely a Jackie there. Number three is Jackie Stallone.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04Do you remember? She looks like Jackie Stallone.
0:23:04 > 0:23:05In a nice way.
0:23:08 > 0:23:12I think that number one is my auntie.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16- Number one's looking fierce. - Totally fierce.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19The hiking boots on number three, that's not happening.
0:23:19 > 0:23:20If you've ever been in a band
0:23:20 > 0:23:23you're not going to come on telly in hiking boots.
0:23:23 > 0:23:30I think that there is star quality oozing from number two.
0:23:30 > 0:23:34- I totally agree.- A sparkle. - Really?- Without a doubt.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37There is also this thing that you have to bear in mind.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40As a singer, you get used to getting your photograph taken.
0:23:40 > 0:23:47At one point in your career as a female performer, someone, be it a stylist or someone, will say to you,
0:23:47 > 0:23:52"A really good thing to do is give yourself a cocked leg."
0:23:52 > 0:23:59In a photo. You don't stand like that, you go like that.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Number two is cocking the leg.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05It's a give away. Telltale singer sign.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07It's out of two and four.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09- Do you think it's two?- Number two.
0:24:09 > 0:24:14She has a sassy stance.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16- It's number two.- Yeah? All right.
0:24:16 > 0:24:20Let's find out. Would the real Jackie Rawe please step forward?
0:24:20 > 0:24:24Oh, the fierce one! She's so fierce.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29She's so fierce.
0:24:29 > 0:24:33Oh, no. I can't believe it, my auntie was in Shakatak.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37With her album, My Truth, out now, Jackie Rawe, ladies and gentlemen.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Apologies.
0:24:45 > 0:24:49And at the end of that round it looks like Phill's team is ahead by one, 4-3.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Good job, you.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02In America, where I'm really famous by the way,
0:25:02 > 0:25:03we have a saying.
0:25:03 > 0:25:07"When you've heard one line of a song, only a fool attempts to guess the next."
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Call me a fool, but I ain't going to live by those rules, Uncle Sam.
0:25:10 > 0:25:11It's time for Next Lines.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15Phill, your team is in the lead, we're starting with you.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17When the moon hits the sky...
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Like a big pizza pie, that's amore.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21You raise me up...
0:25:21 > 0:25:25- So I can stand on mountains? - Very good!
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Oh, yeah, you don't know any songs, Charlie(!)
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Josh Groban, you raise me up. Very good.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Yeah, heh...
0:25:36 > 0:25:40That's in loads of songs, man.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41Pick one.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43I don't know one.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45Your sex is on fire. Kings Of Leon.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48Ska-daba-daba dee dab-dab dadab-do...
0:25:48 > 0:25:49I'm the Scatman.
0:25:49 > 0:25:53Scatman John, Scatman. Then I go and spoil it all...
0:25:53 > 0:25:57By saying something stupid like... # I love you. #
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Very good, guys. Wow.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06Phill's team have ten points. You need seven to win. Let's begin.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08Goodness gracious...
0:26:08 > 0:26:11- Great balls of fire.- Jerry Lee Lewis. Suddenly I see...
0:26:11 > 0:26:15(OPERATIC VOICE) # This is what I want to be. #
0:26:15 > 0:26:18You Grobanated that one.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21KT Tunstall, suddenly I see. One step out of time...
0:26:21 > 0:26:23One reason to put this love on the line.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25We have a fan. Michael Ball.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30The phantom of the opera is here...
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Inside your mind.
0:26:32 > 0:26:36Always. Andrew Lloyd Webber. # Oh, say can you see... #
0:26:36 > 0:26:37Oi, oi, oi!
0:26:38 > 0:26:42Oh, say can you see...
0:26:42 > 0:26:44By the dawn's early light.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47There you go. Star Spangled Banner.
0:26:47 > 0:26:48I dreamed a dream...
0:26:48 > 0:26:51- In time gone by.- Les Miserables.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53- END-OF-ROUND JINGLE - I dreamed a dream. That's it.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58That's it.
0:26:58 > 0:27:02That puts Noel's team ahead by one point, 11-10.
0:27:02 > 0:27:08That is our show. Noel's team wins, congratulations to all of you.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Well, I've had an incredible time...
0:27:10 > 0:27:12- MUSIC: I Dreamed A Dream - What's that?
0:27:12 > 0:27:14Oh, I hear music. I hear music.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18Michael, will you make my dream come true?
0:27:18 > 0:27:21- Join me. Phill, fuck off. - CHEERING
0:27:24 > 0:27:26You know the lyrics, studio audience!
0:27:28 > 0:27:31Are you ready for the key change?
0:27:31 > 0:27:37# And still I dream she'll come to me... # Michael.
0:27:37 > 0:27:45# That we will live the years together
0:27:45 > 0:27:48# But there are dreams that cannot be... #
0:27:48 > 0:27:50- Oh, sell it, Josh! - Together!
0:27:50 > 0:27:57# And there are storms we cannot weather
0:28:00 > 0:28:04- # I had a dream my life would be - I never dreamed my life would be
0:28:04 > 0:28:07# So different from this hell I'm living
0:28:07 > 0:28:10# So different from this hell I'm living
0:28:10 > 0:28:17# So different now from what it seems
0:28:17 > 0:28:21# Now life has killed
0:28:21 > 0:28:29# The dream we dreamed. #
0:28:29 > 0:28:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:35 > 0:28:37- Michael Ball!- Josh Groban!
0:28:37 > 0:28:39Thank you, Your Majesty.
0:28:39 > 0:28:41Thank you, Great Britain.
0:28:41 > 0:28:45Thanks to you Phill, Tinchy and Charlie, Noel, KT and Michael.
0:28:45 > 0:28:49I've been Josh Groban and you've been profoundly moved.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52Good night!
0:28:57 > 0:28:59Ah, thank you.
0:29:00 > 0:29:01You guys!
0:29:12 > 0:29:15Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:29:15 > 0:29:18E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk