0:00:02 > 0:00:06This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Hello and welcome to the show. My name is Catherine Tate.
0:00:35 > 0:00:40When they asked me to do this show, I thought, "I don't know anything about music.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43"But then, that kitchen extension won't pay for itself."
0:00:43 > 0:00:46On Noel's team tonight...
0:00:48 > 0:00:51It's one third of chart toppers N-Dubz.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54She's no Dappy - and that's exactly why we've booked her.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56It's Tulisa from N-Dubz.
0:01:05 > 0:01:10We were desperate for a guest. Luckily we knew a bloke who said he could deliver in half an hour
0:01:10 > 0:01:14even if he has been cut with other guests! It's Howard Marks.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18And on Phill's team...
0:01:18 > 0:01:21# Too many miracles... #
0:01:21 > 0:01:26..a singer/songwriter famous for wearing a hat, but that's not all there is to him,
0:01:26 > 0:01:28he's got a beard, too!
0:01:28 > 0:01:30It's Badly Drawn Boy.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39She's the star of hit comedy show The King is Dead,
0:01:39 > 0:01:45the best thing on BBC3 since that screen that says, "BBC3 is not available between one and seven."
0:01:45 > 0:01:47It's Katy Wix!
0:01:50 > 0:01:55So we begin with Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Noel, Tulisa and Howard, have a look at this.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02# No, I couldn't live without you #
0:02:02 > 0:02:07Simon Cowell's greatest success since turning his hair into a geometrically perfect cube.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11Nobody sings a bit too quiet and then a bit too loud like she does.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14It's Leona Lewis!
0:02:14 > 0:02:17# Gonna smile cos I deserve to #
0:02:17 > 0:02:21That was Leona Lewis with Better in Time.
0:02:21 > 0:02:26But what injury caused her to delay the recording of her second album?
0:02:26 > 0:02:30Was it a) she was head-butted by a horse,
0:02:30 > 0:02:35b) a swan broke both her arms,
0:02:35 > 0:02:39or c) she damaged her back running away from a grumpy kestrel?
0:02:43 > 0:02:47- "A grumpy kestrel"? - A grumpy kestrel!
0:02:47 > 0:02:51- Excuse me being uneducated, but what is a kestrel?- It's like a hawk.
0:02:51 > 0:02:56- It's also a lager.- Lager? See, that's more my level.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58A reference you might get.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01- A grumpy lager.- She was running away from a grumpy lager.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05Can we have a look at that, cos there was a horse in the video.
0:03:05 > 0:03:06Let's have a quick look.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09There we go.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11See that horse's body language?
0:03:11 > 0:03:17That horse is going, "Get me out of this video! It's the worst music ever!
0:03:17 > 0:03:19"I don't care how many carrots you give me."
0:03:19 > 0:03:24You can lead a horse to a pop video, but you can't make it like it!
0:03:25 > 0:03:29- Howard's got this brilliant fact about horses.- Yeah,
0:03:29 > 0:03:32they don't recognise themselves in the mirror.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Howard, did a horse tell you this?
0:03:41 > 0:03:46- How has somebody proved that phenomena?- By sticking a horse in front of a mirror again and again
0:03:46 > 0:03:49and seeing if it recognises it.
0:03:51 > 0:03:56Howard, when the horse looks in the mirror and goes, "Brrr"...
0:03:58 > 0:04:00It means it fancies itself.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03- What are you talking about?- Horses!
0:04:06 > 0:04:10- Horses can't recognise themselves in the mirror.- Is that where you're at?
0:04:10 > 0:04:13- But they can in the back of spoons. - Really?
0:04:15 > 0:04:20When they're making tea, they think, "There's a small horse there! ..Oh, it's me!"
0:04:20 > 0:04:24- Are we saying other animals can? - Chimps can.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26- They can?- Chimps can.
0:04:28 > 0:04:29Occasionally,
0:04:29 > 0:04:34when I'm hung over, I see myself in Iceland's window and go, "Who's that idiot?
0:04:34 > 0:04:35"Oh, it's me!"
0:04:35 > 0:04:39But you could train a chimp to look in a mirror and say, "That's me."
0:04:39 > 0:04:43But you wouldn't necessarily believe it. Someone might have trained it.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46But you can't train a horse to do that.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48But we tried all last night!
0:04:49 > 0:04:52When I knew Howard was coming on the show,
0:04:52 > 0:04:57the idea that we're here and we're chatting about Howard and the word horse has come up,
0:04:57 > 0:05:01and it is actually about horses! I'm surprised about that.
0:05:01 > 0:05:06Howard has had in your life about 69 aliases?
0:05:06 > 0:05:08- 43.- 43.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10- One of them was Albi.- Yes.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14When I read it, I thought it said alibi, but it's Albi.
0:05:14 > 0:05:19It was an anagram of that, and also an anagram of bail which I skipped.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Oh, clever!
0:05:22 > 0:05:25While we're on this, could I turn the subject to me?
0:05:25 > 0:05:30- Course!- The name Badly Drawn Boy, which I know is stupid,
0:05:30 > 0:05:34but my brother worked out one day that an anagram of it is "why draw Bob Dylan".
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Do you answer to the name of Badly?
0:05:38 > 0:05:43- I love it. I'm like a horse looking in a mirror.- Recognising yourself.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Tulisa, you've got an alias. You're TT.
0:05:46 > 0:05:47Sometimes.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50TT's been working. She hasn't been to bed for 24 hours.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53No, I've been awake for 24 hours.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57TT hasn't been to bed for 24 hours, Howard Marks and me.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00I'm vague at the best of times!
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Team Fuzzy!
0:06:02 > 0:06:04We've got no chance!
0:06:04 > 0:06:07You're lucky we're facing the right way!
0:06:07 > 0:06:11You've got 72 hours of no sleep, you three there.
0:06:11 > 0:06:15If it all goes well for me, this is what I could look like!
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Have you got a clue what this is?
0:06:19 > 0:06:21I'm hoping it was all of them.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25I'm hoping she was at the zoo and they went, "Let's kick the shit out of her!"
0:06:25 > 0:06:30Is Leona Lewis the new Coldplay? Is that what it is?
0:06:30 > 0:06:33She's not as good as that!
0:06:34 > 0:06:39I don't hate her. It's what was coming out of her mouth was giving me a panic attack!
0:06:39 > 0:06:41You could change that.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49This is my favourite show already!
0:06:50 > 0:06:52You don't even know what a kestrel is!
0:06:53 > 0:06:58The thing is, all of those answers please me in some way. So I don't mind!
0:06:58 > 0:07:04If any of those animals did that to her, I'd be quite happy!
0:07:05 > 0:07:10For a really bland video, though, it's provoked a lengthy debate!
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Pick a letter.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15- Choose a letter.- J.
0:07:15 > 0:07:19Pick a letter between A to C.
0:07:19 > 0:07:20- Let's say A.- A.- Yeah.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23- She got head-butted by a horse? - Yeah.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25- You're right!- Yes!
0:07:28 > 0:07:29Amazing!
0:07:32 > 0:07:35The answer is Leona delayed recording her album
0:07:35 > 0:07:38after being head-butted by her horse
0:07:38 > 0:07:40on an early-morning stroll.
0:07:40 > 0:07:45It's not the worst thing that has happened to Leona Lewis. Last year,
0:07:45 > 0:07:51she was punched in the Piccadilly Waterstone's. I've never heard them called that before!
0:07:51 > 0:07:55Phill, Badly and Katy, take a look at this!
0:07:58 > 0:08:01No-one's done more to make charity shop chic cool
0:08:01 > 0:08:06since Maureen at Help the Aged introduced the Crazy Friday two-for-one cardigan giveaway!
0:08:06 > 0:08:08It's Jarvis Cocker.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11# In no great rush to join the rest of mankind
0:08:11 > 0:08:15# There were further complications
0:08:16 > 0:08:19# Further complications Oh, yeah #
0:08:21 > 0:08:24That was Jarvis Cocker with Further Complications.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26But how did he leave himself wheelchair-bound
0:08:26 > 0:08:28for a series of Pulp gigs?
0:08:28 > 0:08:33Did he a) fall out of a window pretending to be Spiderman,
0:08:33 > 0:08:36break his shinbone by being run over by Daley Thompson,
0:08:36 > 0:08:40or c) damage his back running away from a grumpy kestrel?
0:08:42 > 0:08:45It looks a bit like a Gap advert.
0:08:45 > 0:08:50Or maybe they meant to put an expensive backdrop in afterwards and then forgot!
0:08:50 > 0:08:53He's like, "Where are the pyramids you promised me?"
0:08:53 > 0:08:57- Have you heard that joke? - I love it that you've got a joke.
0:08:57 > 0:09:02This guy says, "This granddad, he's about 96. They call him Spiderman."
0:09:02 > 0:09:06I said, "Why?" "Because he can't get out the bath!"
0:09:08 > 0:09:12Oh, my God. We've got something for you. Howard has another fact.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15A dog can smell if a spider's in the room.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Amazing!
0:09:20 > 0:09:23- Do spiders make an echoing sound or something?- No, no.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26No, this is just the stink of a spider which we can't detect
0:09:26 > 0:09:30but a sniffer dog, which I know about, they can.
0:09:30 > 0:09:36I love the fact that dogs can smell spiders. Spiders, you don't imagine them to have B.O.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42- You don't go, "Oh, that spider reeks!"- There's not enough room for B.O. to cling.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44Little thin legs.
0:09:44 > 0:09:50Maybe they carry round mini Sure deodorants for their arms!
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Am I on the right show?
0:09:54 > 0:09:58So he's either fallen out of a window pretending to be Superman,
0:09:58 > 0:10:01this is how he ends up wheelchair-bound.
0:10:01 > 0:10:07Spiderman. Don't confuse us! Cos we're already in Animal Magic Land!
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Oh, it was Superman that was in the wheelchair.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12AUDIENCE GROANS
0:10:14 > 0:10:17That's your evil minds that have done that.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Oh, God, yeah, and a horse did that as well!
0:10:21 > 0:10:24- I'm going to press you for an answer, Phill.- Thank you.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28- I'll come and press you for an answer.- He fell out the window.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Do you know what, you are right!
0:10:35 > 0:10:38The answer is A. Jarvis was left wheelchair-bound
0:10:38 > 0:10:41having fallen out of a window pretending to be Spiderman
0:10:41 > 0:10:43while trying to impress a girl.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47Single and embarrassed, he spent the next few weeks resting in bed
0:10:47 > 0:10:50covering himself in a sticky web-like substance.
0:10:52 > 0:10:57Jarvis recently recorded an album of sounds from the countryside for the National Trust.
0:10:57 > 0:11:01It was largely the sounds of horse colliding with Leona Lewis's face.
0:11:02 > 0:11:07At the end of that round, Noel's team have got one and Phill's team have one.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09APPLAUSE
0:11:13 > 0:11:17Next, the intros round. Noel and Lisa, here are yours for Howard.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- Ready?- OK.- One, two, three.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27# Dum-chik-a-jing Bah-doo-da-de-doo-dah
0:11:27 > 0:11:29# Dum-chik-a-doo Doo-doo-dah-doo
0:11:29 > 0:11:32# Bah-bah-bah-bow
0:11:32 > 0:11:34# Bah-bah-bah-bow #
0:11:37 > 0:11:39What the hell are you doing?
0:11:39 > 0:11:41You're kidding me!
0:11:41 > 0:11:43This is the best I've ever been, you idiot!
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Is it a cover version?
0:11:49 > 0:11:51LAUGHTER
0:11:51 > 0:11:53No, this is the original!
0:11:56 > 0:11:59- I know it.- You know it? - I know it, yeah.- Do you?
0:11:59 > 0:12:02- Yeah.- They all sound the same whenever anyone does that.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06It all sounds to me like "chik-a-boom".
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Or something like that.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11- Can you go bigger?- Bigger?
0:12:11 > 0:12:13A bit more rocky.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18As if it's not embarrassing enough? Right.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20One, two, three, four.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22# Doo-chik-a-ching Ka-jing jing ja-da jing
0:12:22 > 0:12:25# Doo-chik-a-ching Ka-jing jing ja-da jing
0:12:25 > 0:12:27# La-la-la-la
0:12:27 > 0:12:30# La-la-la-la!
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Any ideas, Howard? Surely that helped?
0:12:34 > 0:12:36No.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39I'm going to throw it over.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43- Is it not The Buzzcocks?- Yes! - Ever Fallen In Love?
0:12:43 > 0:12:47- Yes!- I got that from the "Da-dah-dah-dah" bit. The first bit was rubbish.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Here's how it should have sounded.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52THE BUZZCOCKS: EVER FALLEN IN LOVE
0:12:56 > 0:12:57# La-la-la-la! #
0:13:01 > 0:13:03# You spurn my natural emotions
0:13:03 > 0:13:06# You make me feel like dirt #
0:13:06 > 0:13:11- Uh...- Catherine, what's happened? Are you having a breakdown?
0:13:11 > 0:13:14I've lost a card with all the N-Dubz slag on it.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15Slang!
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Sorry! I'm so sorry!
0:13:24 > 0:13:26I'm so sorry!
0:13:26 > 0:13:29I don't mean that!
0:13:30 > 0:13:33That's coming down, now!
0:13:33 > 0:13:37Like the urban kestrel that it is!
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Oh, it's here! Look, it's here!
0:13:41 > 0:13:47Now, N-Dubz slang. At the back of your album, you've got a glossary
0:13:47 > 0:13:49that tells you what your slang is.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52I'm not as involved as the boys, but I'm getting your drift.
0:13:52 > 0:13:56So if I were to ask you what an end to a conversation is
0:13:56 > 0:13:58in N-Dubz slang, what would it be?
0:13:58 > 0:14:02- Nana.- Nana? No, Tulisa.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06- It's not me, it's them two nutters. - Nana is hi or bye.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10- If you were saying hi or bye to your nana, you'd say, "Nana, Nana."- Nana.
0:14:10 > 0:14:16- I like it.- Catherine, you have to understand, Tulisa is basically their care worker.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21How do you say, "Are you serious, for real", like that makes sense anyway!
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Are you seri for really?
0:14:23 > 0:14:26- Are you seri for really?- Can you say, "Am I bothered?" at the end?
0:14:26 > 0:14:29- Am I bothered?- Yeah!
0:14:29 > 0:14:32- You should say, "Am I seri for really?"- Am I seri for really? - Am I bothered?
0:14:33 > 0:14:36- Are you seri for really? - Am I bothered?
0:14:36 > 0:14:37- Are you seri for really? - Am I bothered?
0:14:37 > 0:14:39- Are you seri for really? - Am I bothered?
0:14:39 > 0:14:41- Are you seri for really? - Am I bothered?
0:14:41 > 0:14:43- Are you seri for really?- Am I bothered?- Are you seri for really?
0:14:43 > 0:14:47- But am I bothered?- Get out of the classroom, Catherine!
0:14:47 > 0:14:49APPLAUSE
0:14:54 > 0:14:59- Next intro, please.- This is mainly you, so you've got to get yourself together.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01TULISA SETS BASS BEAT
0:15:01 > 0:15:04# Woppa-woppa-woppa bow bow
0:15:04 > 0:15:06# Bow-bow-bow-bow-bow-bow-bow
0:15:06 > 0:15:08# Bow-bow-bow-bow-bow-bow-bow
0:15:08 > 0:15:11# Bow-bow-bow-bow-bow-bow bow-wow... #
0:15:11 > 0:15:13REPEATS CHORDS
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Yeah, that's good.
0:15:26 > 0:15:30- What you do think, Howard? - I thought they did it brilliantly.
0:15:32 > 0:15:37- Any ideas?- No.- No. OK. I'll throw it over to Phill.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40- We don't know.- You don't know?!
0:15:40 > 0:15:42- It's Kasabian.- Oh!
0:15:42 > 0:15:46With Underdog. Here's how it should have sounded.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50INTRO TO UNDERDOG
0:16:02 > 0:16:04That was Kasabian with Underdog.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Tom from Kasabian criticised Justin Timberlake,
0:16:07 > 0:16:11calling him "a midget with whiskers who's trying to be black."
0:16:11 > 0:16:15Justin replied, "What you talking about, Kasabian?"
0:16:16 > 0:16:20We also heard Buzzcocks with Ever Fallen In Love?
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Buzzcocks famously formed after responding to adverts
0:16:23 > 0:16:24in the back of the NME.
0:16:24 > 0:16:29Similarly, Tulisa found Dappy and Fazer after sitting in the dentist's waiting room
0:16:29 > 0:16:32and flipping through an old copy of What Twat magazine.
0:16:33 > 0:16:38Phill and Badly, here are yours for Katy.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Thank you, Catherine. Right, what are we doing?
0:16:42 > 0:16:44One, two, one, two, three, four.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47# Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
0:16:47 > 0:16:49# Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
0:16:49 > 0:16:51# Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
0:16:51 > 0:16:54# Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum
0:16:54 > 0:16:56# Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum
0:16:56 > 0:16:58I'm getting something.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01# Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah
0:17:01 > 0:17:02# Ugh! #
0:17:02 > 0:17:04That was lovely.
0:17:04 > 0:17:08I don't know any songs that... One, two, three, four was you, not part of the song?
0:17:08 > 0:17:10Yes, that was just me.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13And you're definitely doing it right?
0:17:13 > 0:17:14It's not me.
0:17:14 > 0:17:18On a song called the Monkees - no, it's a band called the Monkees,
0:17:18 > 0:17:24they've got a song and he counts them in. He goes, "One, two, three, four,
0:17:24 > 0:17:26"seven." Oh, shut up!"
0:17:28 > 0:17:31- Lust For Life!- What?!- Just got it. Is it Lust For Life?- No.
0:17:31 > 0:17:35- Why not?- Oh, this?- Yes!
0:17:35 > 0:17:36Oh!
0:17:36 > 0:17:39- Yes, this!- Sorry, I thought you meant...
0:17:39 > 0:17:43I'm not commenting on your anecdote! I'm trying to gain a point in my life!
0:17:43 > 0:17:47It's not, no. God, rubbish guests!
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Well, if it's not Lust For Life, then...
0:17:51 > 0:17:55- Barry Manilow?- I think we know what it is.- Do you? - I think it's Jet.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58Are You Gonna Be My Girl?
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Yes, that's what it says. Hooray!
0:18:06 > 0:18:08Here's how it should sound.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10MUSIC PLAYS
0:18:10 > 0:18:12That's like Phil Collins. Is it?
0:18:17 > 0:18:20- # You can't hurry love #- No, you just have to wait
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Lust For Life!
0:18:28 > 0:18:31# One, two, three, take my hand and come with me... #
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Next intro, please.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36OK. So you start it, good and bold and loud.
0:18:36 > 0:18:40- #- Wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo
0:18:40 > 0:18:45# Bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah... #
0:18:57 > 0:19:02It sounds like Wigfield! I know that's not it, I'm just saying it sounds like it.
0:19:02 > 0:19:07It's one of those modern summery songs, isn't it?
0:19:07 > 0:19:11- Worth expanding on!- Yes, what do you do in the summer?
0:19:11 > 0:19:13All sorts! What don't you do?
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Badly Drawn Boy, that's you, Badly.
0:19:18 > 0:19:22- Do you not like X Factor? - That's a bit of a curveball!
0:19:22 > 0:19:24I know.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27- I'm interested in... - Do you like vanilla slices?
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Fair enough!
0:19:34 > 0:19:37She knows it.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39- Is it...- Is it-oh?
0:19:39 > 0:19:40- Is it-oh.- Tell me now.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42All right, then.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Is it Dizzee Rascal, Holiday?
0:19:47 > 0:19:50APPLAUSE
0:19:52 > 0:19:55And here is how it should have sounded.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57INTRO TO HOLIDAY
0:20:12 > 0:20:16In 2008, Dizzee Rascal appeared with Jeremy Paxman on Newsnight
0:20:16 > 0:20:19in one of the most awkward moments in TV history.
0:20:19 > 0:20:24It could have been worse. Kirsty Wark was blacking up backstage in case Dizzee couldn't make it.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27We also heard Jet with Are You Gonna Be My Girl?
0:20:27 > 0:20:32In 2009, Jet's frontman Nic Cester collapsed in London's Hard Rock Cafe.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35I'm not surprised - £15 for a burger?!
0:20:36 > 0:20:40Round Three is the identity parade, my favourite bit.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43Noel, Tulisa and Howard, how about some '80s pop?
0:20:43 > 0:20:47For the audience only, here is Fairground Attraction.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50# It's got to be
0:20:51 > 0:20:53# Perfect
0:20:53 > 0:20:57# It's got to be
0:20:58 > 0:21:00# Worth it
0:21:00 > 0:21:02# Too many people
0:21:02 > 0:21:04# Take second best
0:21:04 > 0:21:08# But I won't take anything less
0:21:08 > 0:21:10# It's got to be
0:21:10 > 0:21:11# Yeah
0:21:12 > 0:21:14# Perfect. #
0:21:14 > 0:21:18That was Fairground Attraction with Perfect.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22But which of our line-up is drummer Roy Dodds?
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Is it number one? Perfect.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27Number two, not so perfect.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Number three - reduced to clear.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Number four - shop soiled.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Or number five - fire damaged.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Howard, you must have been in a few identity parades!
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Howard...
0:21:44 > 0:21:48- Yes?- You're actually... They're making a film about you.
0:21:48 > 0:21:52- Yeah. They've finished it.- They've finished it? How cool is that?
0:21:52 > 0:21:54- You're being played by Rhys Ifans. - Yes.
0:21:54 > 0:22:00And you said, "It's great to be played by someone younger, taller and better-looking."
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Otherwise there's no point!
0:22:03 > 0:22:07I heard a funny story that when you went to see Rhys Ifans
0:22:07 > 0:22:11that you knocked on the door and he was dressed as a wizard!
0:22:11 > 0:22:15I know the story you mean. When we were actually doing the filming,
0:22:15 > 0:22:19Rhys and I spent the night just getting caned.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24That doesn't sound like Rhys!
0:22:25 > 0:22:28The next morning, I walked past Rhys's hotel room
0:22:28 > 0:22:33and there he was with a wizard's hat on and this sort of...
0:22:33 > 0:22:36I thought, "Fucking hell. They've got this wrong."
0:22:36 > 0:22:39I said, "Rhys, I never wore anything like that!"
0:22:39 > 0:22:43But they were auditioning for the Harry Potter thing!
0:22:46 > 0:22:49Is anyone grabbing you?
0:22:49 > 0:22:51- Not yet!- I...
0:22:51 > 0:22:55Howard doesn't want to pick anyone cos technically, it's grassing!
0:22:57 > 0:23:01- I'm going with number two or number four.- Number two looks like a drummer.
0:23:01 > 0:23:05- Just say a number.- Howard's saying two. Let's go for two.
0:23:05 > 0:23:09Let's find out. Would the real Roy Dodds please step forward.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15I told you! You didn't listen to me!
0:23:17 > 0:23:21Now producing, gigging and recording, Roy Dodds.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30So, Phill, Badly and Katy,
0:23:30 > 0:23:32what about some home-grown British reggae?
0:23:32 > 0:23:36For the audience only, here is Tippa Irie.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40# Cutie, cutie, make sure you move your booty
0:23:40 > 0:23:42# Shake that thing like we in the city of sin
0:23:42 > 0:23:45# Hey, Shorty, I know you wanna party
0:23:45 > 0:23:47# The way your body look it make me really feel naughty
0:23:47 > 0:23:49# Cutie cutie, make sure you move your booty
0:23:49 > 0:23:52# Shake that thing like in the city of sin
0:23:52 > 0:23:54# Hey, Shorty, I know you wanna party
0:23:54 > 0:23:58# The way your body look it make me really feel naughty. #
0:23:58 > 0:24:01That was Tippa Irie with The Black Eyed Peas, Hey Mama.
0:24:01 > 0:24:05But which of our line-up is Tippa Irie?
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Is it number one - Hey, Mama!
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Number two - Mamma Mia!
0:24:09 > 0:24:12Number three - mummified!
0:24:13 > 0:24:15Number four - Mama told me not to come!
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Or number five - Mama's gone to Iceland.
0:24:21 > 0:24:25Because it's a nice holiday destination.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27I know!
0:24:27 > 0:24:31I haven't got a clue, but I think they should form a band!
0:24:33 > 0:24:35They all look really familiar.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38I know that's not a help, but they do!
0:24:38 > 0:24:41They look really familiar, all of them.
0:24:41 > 0:24:45Can anything be gleaned from length of zip being done up?
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Number four appears to be the coldest.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54He wouldn't want to come on here and wear his hat on top of his...
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Why not? What are you saying?
0:24:57 > 0:24:59- What are you saying? - I know I look silly, but...
0:24:59 > 0:25:01I think number two.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04Number two has not made eye contact with anyone.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06That's why I think it's him.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Oh, he's looking at me now!
0:25:08 > 0:25:09Hello!
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Ooh, and again!
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Winking now, is it, sir?
0:25:15 > 0:25:18He's got the jaded look of success.
0:25:18 > 0:25:22We'll go with our lady instinct.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25Lady instinct of Katy Wix. Let's find out.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27Would the real Tippa Irie please step forward?
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Oh, look!
0:25:32 > 0:25:35And he winked at me!
0:25:37 > 0:25:40With a brand new album out under Tippa Irie and Far East Band
0:25:40 > 0:25:43it's Tippa Irie, ladies and gentlemen.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52So we end with Next Lines. I do like this bit.
0:25:52 > 0:25:57Noel's team are in the lead, so you go first. Oh, it's so exciting.
0:25:57 > 0:26:01And your time starts now.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03- I'd like to be under the sea. - In an octopus's garden.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07- Yes.- Howard got that. - The Beatles. Thanks, Howard.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10Yup yup, rabbit, yup yup yup, rabbit, rabbit.
0:26:10 > 0:26:15- Rabbit, rabbit. Chas and Dave.- Yes. You and me and the guy from Sparks.
0:26:15 > 0:26:19- One of you. - Hanging round with Howard Marks. - Yes. Super Furry Animals.
0:26:19 > 0:26:23- Ha-ha I can give you that. Ha-ha. - The Pirate Song. - That's Wouldn't You.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Yes, it is. What's the next line, though?
0:26:25 > 0:26:29- #- Wouldn't you, wouldn't you like to have me to yourself, to yourself.- # - It's yours.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31A-a-a-oh.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33A-a-a-oh.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37N-Dubz. One of the blinking two albums-worth of material. Which one?
0:26:37 > 0:26:40This is like Bill and Ben the flowerpot men.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42- It's like Morse Code! - It's all just sounds.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46Duh-duh-duh-dah-de-dah. Oh, no! I know it!
0:26:46 > 0:26:49I can't say it without singing it. It goes, Duh-duh-duh-dah-de-dah.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Duh-duh-duh-da-dah.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Hawaii Five-O.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55BUZZER
0:26:58 > 0:27:02Phill's team, you need about 25 points to win
0:27:02 > 0:27:05- cos they're definitely doing it. - Fingers crossed!
0:27:05 > 0:27:08Your time starts now. Knowing me, knowing you.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11- A-ha.- There is nothing we can do. ABBA.
0:27:11 > 0:27:16- I chance a foolish grin.- And dribbled on my chin. One of mine. - Yes, Badly Drawn Boy.
0:27:16 > 0:27:19- The way you wear your hat. - The way you sip your tea.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22Yes, Fred Astaire. Baby, take off your shoes.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25- But you can leave your hat on. - Yes, Randy Newman.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27Always look on the bright side of life.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29WHISTLES
0:27:29 > 0:27:33De-dum, de-dum, is what it says on the card. Monty Python.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36- If you're happy and you know it. - Clap your hands.
0:27:36 > 0:27:41- Do it. It's a nursery rhyme. If you're happy and you know it. - Clap your hands.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44- If you're happy and you know it. - And you really want to show it.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46- If you're happy and you know it. - Clap your hands.
0:27:46 > 0:27:47BUZZER
0:27:54 > 0:27:57The final scores. Noel's team have ten.
0:27:57 > 0:27:58Phill's team have got 11.
0:28:07 > 0:28:11Thanks to Noel, Tulisa and Howard, Phill, Badly and Katy.
0:28:11 > 0:28:15This has been Never Mind The Buzzcocks. Goodnight.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd